How The Avoidant Feels During NO CONTACT (And The Benefits Of It For YOU)

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  • Опубликовано: 20 дек 2024

Комментарии • 67

  • @idkman4514
    @idkman4514 День назад +26

    whenever i feel anxious i open one of your videos and remind myself i need to love myself more and accept that i deserve someone that values me. thanks corri

  • @OnMyGrindNowForever
    @OnMyGrindNowForever День назад +32

    It's just so exhausting to keep your focus and energy on them. So naturally after sometime, you'll begin to get over them.

    • @susi9242
      @susi9242 День назад +3

      Yeah, a long time. Like years :P bc one is used to being exhausted 🤔

  • @k.polanchekfntp8033
    @k.polanchekfntp8033 День назад +20

    I'm doing all of this, it's working and I'm moving forward but it's WAY harder, lonely, sad, and a shit ton of work. Not as easy at 58, no social media, and far fewer friends.
    I am actually okay, after 6 months of self care.

    • @Miriam-um6yt
      @Miriam-um6yt День назад

      I understand. Need new friend... we should connect hihi

    • @t.m.meyers4902
      @t.m.meyers4902 День назад

      Keep up the self care. You're worth it!

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 День назад

      NC is the most painful method to get over.

  • @FemkeJansen-wt4xv
    @FemkeJansen-wt4xv День назад +20

    I miss my sp every day but I made a firm decision to stop chasing him 💪🏼

  • @whiggygirl
    @whiggygirl День назад +20

    I could listen to you talk all day. You have a soothing voice and calm, nurturing demeanour ❤

  • @coffeedawg822
    @coffeedawg822 День назад +14

    Not only was she not interested in my very best qualities... they were what drove her away. Still trying to wrap my head around that fact.

    • @spikestoyou
      @spikestoyou День назад +5

      It’s all very unconscious. Peoples’ best qualities are a mirror oftentimes for what the other person feels they lack. Doing the work required to hold themselves accountable in the face of that is way harder than simply running and chasing the immediate gratification of someone validating you where you’re at. It’s a brutal reality of life. I don’t know what else to say other than resist the temptation to fill the void with someone new, especially if it’s going to lead to sin, it takes a long time and a lot of self reflection to really get even a moderately clear understanding of the relational dynamics at work and who the other person really is in a relationship

    • @waynejenner3635
      @waynejenner3635 День назад +3

      She had no empathy and doesn't know what a good man is

    • @jaden.4960
      @jaden.4960 День назад +4

      I feel you, that must’ve been rough to deal with. For me, the same things and qualities she fell in “love” with were the things she ended up silently resenting me for towards the end

    • @jg1503
      @jg1503 День назад +2

      I had no idea this kind of dysfunctional relationship existed until now at 48. Drained me. Never been gaslighted before and this was to the max. Zero empathy, when you try to communicate your emotion it becomes an argument and you are left feeling more ignored and neglected. Impossible to reason with them and they somehow make everything about them. You're feeling a lump in your heart, you talk to them about it and they make it about them. Forget about your feelings. So much pain. It all stems from her childhood and upbringing having to fend for herself all her life. She never felt loved or affection from family and so thats how she is.

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 День назад

      Avoidant wom usually are very good with jerks, addicts and criminals. They despise good men.

  • @mikegathercole
    @mikegathercole День назад +8

    Congratulations on 10k subscribers!
    "I'm not where she left me". I love that. I have grown so much in the past month. I know she's still unconscious. So what...

  • @KJB802
    @KJB802 День назад +3

    Got blindsided recently. It felt like the relationship was progressing nicely, lots of great dates and good intimacy. But when I began to talk about defining things between us a little bit, she dumped me four days later. She admitted she was feeling avoidant. Nothing outright mean was said, but it was very cold and sudden. I don’t think she’s a bad person, just emotionally unavailable. Your content has been very helpful as I process what happened. Definitely not blaming myself, and learning more about attachment styles. Thanks a lot.

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 День назад

      Be happy it did not happen 2 years later and tons of money you spent for them.

  • @user-nd3tg5zn1b
    @user-nd3tg5zn1b День назад +9

    After, decided he didn’t love me or care! About a week after he ghosted me, I had never looked back. I haven’t done nothing to connect him but it still hurts. I have learned that he has issues and they have nothing to do with me. I did nothing wrong and he is the problem and I see this now!!!

  • @CyberLifter
    @CyberLifter 20 часов назад +2

    The "testing waters" is so common. I had an avoidant ex that reached out with something so random after a month of no contact. I mistakenly responded and gave them that ego boost. Since then, I have gone no contact! It's been 3 months and I'm finally able to just move on. If she comes back, it's going to be too late.

  • @ALT-F4-Playz
    @ALT-F4-Playz День назад +7

    I'm from Cornwall and I was dating this woman for 6 months. Everything was great and she decided to withdraw back without saying anything and then we broke up. After the break up I tried to beg and plead, however I realize It was a stupid thing to do. I've cut contact since from October and now starting to work on myself, turns out she's now in a relationship but I don't think she has worked on herself. Previously she was in a toxic relationship.
    At this stage, I don't really care about my ex. I'm solely focusing on my goals. Thank you so much for your video, it reinforce what I want to do :)

  • @nadirakadric8744
    @nadirakadric8744 День назад +8

    You are the best ❤ Thank you ❤ Hello from Bosnia and Herzegovina 🇧🇦

  • @sugarsnap1000
    @sugarsnap1000 День назад +8

    10k and counting, your channel is very good, I like your realistic approach. 😊

  • @lisadziedzic9658
    @lisadziedzic9658 День назад +8

    I'm 4 months into NC, only slipped up and reached out twice, once was when my gpa died and I got NOT RESPONSE. He's blocked me everywhere, changed his number, ghosted me. Feels like he's trying to erase me from existence. I've never experienced anything more painful in my life.

  • @HotRodHarley06
    @HotRodHarley06 День назад +2

    Never outsource self love, meaning when I love myself and honor my own self worth I won't "lose" love and worth when my partner leaves. The other thing I understand now is I as a grown adult can not be abandoned. If I'm feeling abandoned that's because I have abandoned myself. That feeling comes from my childhood, a child can be abandoned an adult can't be.

  • @k8artsy
    @k8artsy День назад +4

    thanks for your videos, I love your emphatic vibe, and congrats on 10k!

  • @AmyK007
    @AmyK007 7 часов назад +1

    EMDR is a brilliant way to heal.

  • @jessbess1766
    @jessbess1766 День назад

    Thank you for this when I feel moments of weaknesses ❤

  • @lylemichael
    @lylemichael 18 часов назад +1

    You should be able to go live at 10k subscribers if you so wish now 🤩 congrats!!!

  • @Qhht.Illinois
    @Qhht.Illinois День назад

    Congrats on 10k🎉💗🙏 your videos have really helped me find my inner strength to set boundaries and leave the avoidant alone…starting today 🤣🤷‍♀️ old habits (texts) die hard!!

  • @GiovannaIwishyou
    @GiovannaIwishyou День назад +1

    I don't check their social media, I don't ask anyone about them, but there are two people in my life who always talk about them, and I started to avoid those two people. :/

    • @CyberLifter
      @CyberLifter 19 часов назад +1

      not fun having mutual friends!

  • @exotixbydebashree
    @exotixbydebashree День назад +3

    "The one she is & the one she is, are hell apart"

  • @michellem7290
    @michellem7290 День назад +1

    omg this is so resonating 💖💖💖

  • @kessaladel5747
    @kessaladel5747 День назад +3

    Your videos helped me a lot to understand and do not let confusion consume me, it was a distance relationship that ended because of my army service and I will go exactly the day of her birthday, in the past I wanted to wait for that day to pass but now I can't wait but still wonder if sending a wish in neutral way can be a good thing?! it breaks the no contact of 39 days and that is getting me thinking but well🌠

  • @themariapsanta
    @themariapsanta День назад +4

    Annoyed how my cortisol was..I’m now sleeping like a baby and lost more than 20 pounds in one month and half…just doing nothing--

  • @xSWlMx
    @xSWlMx День назад +1

    Thank you

  • @korkronwarlord
    @korkronwarlord День назад +1

    She's broken me. I genuinely thought she was happy to talk to me again but ghosted me the moment I was no longer of any use to her.

  • @desiemehrabian1133
    @desiemehrabian1133 День назад

    One thing I’ve learned is that I have an ego and as the DA erased himself away I feel so rejected. I was hoping to get together one more time to let him know I could have listened and responded better to him when he would say “Poor me” and things like that although I did a few times and he didn’t respond. He didn’t respond when I asked him how his Thanksgiving trip was so then I knew I wouldn’t hear even though he said we weren’t dating but wants to be supportive and a special friend- in limbo again. And after that no more texts or phone calls. So weird!

  • @ozlem3293
    @ozlem3293 День назад

    Omg he literally went La la la when I was trying to explain myself! 4:50 LOL and this guy was 58 years old!!

  • @techxprts-forum5556
    @techxprts-forum5556 День назад

    Thank you for your content, videos and explanation and live ❤️. I come to the point that would like to resolve it, I moved on - when you have done things with love (like after my 10 year marriage) , it will last - even if the other side will never admit it. How could I resolve this with a person an avoidant style?

  • @TheJosiejumper
    @TheJosiejumper День назад +1

    ❤fab vid this is where I am now and trying to see why I am attracted to someone who’s not choosing me crazy behaviour it’s not healthy!! 🤪❤ isn’t meant to be this way I’m an amazing person if you can’t see that well goodbye 👋

  • @techxprts-forum5556
    @techxprts-forum5556 День назад

    Thank you for your content, videos and explanation. I come to the point that would like to resolve it, I moved on - when you have done things with love, it will last - even if the other side will never admit it. How could I resolve this with a person an avoidant style?

  • @MadMaxMan2008
    @MadMaxMan2008 День назад +3

    I’ve been no contact now for 6 months. How long can an avoidant stay in the elation period? I’ve read up to four months. I’m thinking my DA is just now in the I’m not sure I made the right decision. But I could be wrong. She is a hardcore DA. No breadcrumbs. Nothing

  • @marguskiis7711
    @marguskiis7711 День назад

    I let her go and now I see how many women want me BUT the problem is: I do NOT want them.

  • @Helen-yp9fl
    @Helen-yp9fl 19 часов назад +1

    🙏🏻🌟💫🧿

  • @scroll7459
    @scroll7459 День назад +3

    Hey corri..my ex keeps sending me one or two reels out of nowhere..it's been 10 days since the breakup which she initiated because she says she does not have that feelings for me anymore..I did beg for a chance to rebuild but she denied that..if you could tell me why is she sending me these funny reels?

    • @scottlurken9667
      @scottlurken9667 День назад

      I am experiencing a similar behavior from my female avoidant. WTFO?

    • @sheemery2024
      @sheemery2024 День назад +13

      Cuz she wants you to keep chasing her and she wants the benefit of the connection without the risk. Just ignore her

    • @k8artsy
      @k8artsy День назад +6

      breadcrumbing, keeping you as an option, better not to hope and work on yourself, if they don’t work on themselves , the same cycle will repeat again(

    • @LaurensLifePhotoJournal
      @LaurensLifePhotoJournal День назад +1

      Doesn’t want to look bad--wants to remain “friends”’so that she doesn’t have to own up and face herself. In MHO let it all go. I’ve been through extreme pain with this kind of behavior. I’m finally healing after I tried for 2 years. It’s been 5 months no contact. He lives next door.

    • @carbonthoughtproject6037
      @carbonthoughtproject6037 День назад

      @@scottlurken9667I’m experiencing the same thing it’s weird .. why do they send funny videos after acting like they weren’t just messing with your fellings

  • @DeluluDan
    @DeluluDan День назад +1

    I unfortunately work with my ex and her monkey branch/rebound. She left me for him days after she broke up with me. Her avoidant tendencies admittedly brought out my anxious behavior. Ive never dealt with an avoidant person before. I blocked her on IG because she was bread crumbing by liking my posts. But i cant help but see them flaunting their new relationship in the work place. Right now im not talking to either of them but will do so if it's work related. Im focusing on myself and started hitting the gym. Anything else i should do?

  • @marguskiis7711
    @marguskiis7711 День назад

    Womn usually take the NC like you do not care at all. NC does not work on womn.

  • @2SinOverdose
    @2SinOverdose День назад

    Yeah we work at same working place and still we do sit at same table....we just don't talk and not text but we still do interact occasionally...I am higher in rank than her so I can't avoid her..

  • @ozlem3293
    @ozlem3293 День назад

    Do avoidant's really do love someone? Do they act this way because the love isn't really there? And if they really did love the other person they would notice they're mistakes and make an effort to improve themselves or no matter how much they love they will still be avoident?

  • @michellem7290
    @michellem7290 День назад +2

    haha i clicked unfollow at least so I wouldn't see updates (or click like on them to just enable him procrastinating on self-reflection and self-work)

  • @marguskiis7711
    @marguskiis7711 День назад

    NC works well with men but almost never with wom. Wom just find another man fast and thats it.

  • @eleonoraivanova-kd2zb
    @eleonoraivanova-kd2zb Час назад

    The whole relationship was set up for nothing 😂 so much misery for nothing. It's a soul trap..trauma bond 💔 it is not love, ot is obsession limerence and chemical disturbance.

  • @BC-yb1mq
    @BC-yb1mq 9 часов назад +1

    Love your presence 🤍 Such important messages