You get a lot of advice from well-meaning individuals before you enter the world of parenting, but some very critical tidbits of wisdom are always missing. These are some of those tidbits.
I'm now in my late 60s. When I was 6-7 years old I got a stuffed tiger hand puppet. I loved that puppet but alas he got worn out. When I was in my early 20s my Mom gave me a box on Christmas day. Inside was an almost exact replica of that tiger puppet. I actually cried when Mon told me she had been looking for one for years. I still have Tiger II.
That's the best part about buying a lot of the same loveys (I'd imagine, I don't have children), that you can gift them a new one when they grow up so they can treasure them all over again, but also keep a few for the future grandchildren.
I physically recoiled at the thought of changing a full diaper pail that had been sitting for the length of a vacation. Don't even open it, throw the whole thing away. Not worth it.
That reminds me of what happened at work once. I work at a boarding facility for dogs and cats and we had a particularly messy dog one time. The dog had made a major mess and gotten poop all over the place. A coworker pulled out a metal water bowl absolutely coated in poop. She gingerly held it and looked at me with an expression I can't hope to describe. We shared a look as she wholesale dumped the bowl in the trash. I couldn't stop laughing about it and it still makes me laugh to this day.
Or like don't curse children to exsistance just because you are too fragile to realize humanity is better off without your genes. Like legit, none of you need to be having kids, you are expressly pro-torture if you are having kids you are literally dooming them to die of starvation because you can't handle your genes dying with you (sorry I'm the best version of me that will exsist, none of you get my neurodivergent genes) having a kid is immoral 100% you are damning another person to suffer. Absolutely shameful, you should feel bad abt it you're a bad person.
We once left our son’s blankie in the church nursery, and by the time we realized it everyone had gone home and the church was locked up. I seriously considered calling the pastor at home on a Sunday night and asking him to let us in but realized there was no way to do that without sounding like a crazy person. It was a long night and I was at the door on Monday morning when the secretary arrived.
The stuffed animal thing is 10000% true. We have 2 of the same stuffed cow, and my daughter only wants the old worn one, and hates the fluffy soft like new one.
As someone with sensory issues growing up I had a baby blanket my grandmother knitted for me and the smell mattered the most and the very specific feeling of the wool almost fraying was second. Both of those immediately went away as soon as it was washed (or in the case of smell left behind at a grandparents house for a day or two). So while as a preschooler I didn’t have the language or emotional processing skills to be able to articulate why that was I knew it just felt wrong after it was washed and it infuriated my parents who would try and pull it out of my grasp while I was sleeping to wash it. So know that while it may seem weird now, your kid will probably be able to tell you way in a few years.
I did replace a loved stuffie and had a tough time convincing them, until I reminded my child how good mommy is at washing dirty things and then they finally bought it! 😂 Definitely rotate several so that doesn’t happen, LOL!
We have a giraffe with a horn that was half separated and our 2 year old at the time knew if we gave him a different one that didn’t have the horn worn out halfway. So we had to cut the little horn on the other one so they were the same.
So true. We had two dog lovies (one for the car and one for bed), and one time on vacation we accidentally brought in the car one. When our son saw two lovies, it's like his brain exploded. He had to have two lovies all the time from then on. Then a year later he somehow developed a preference for one (the way his finger fit in the ear loop) and he WOULD NOT SLEEP if we couldn't find that SPECIFIC lovie.
The thing about buying multiples of the lovey & rotating them in & out, washing them all periodically to ensure equal wear & tear, is GOLD!!! Also, put in a lamp with a red light bulb in their room to keep on all night long. It serves as a nightlight & lets you see them when you have to go into the room to feed or change at night without having to turn on a real light waking the both of you up completely, but because it is red, it won't disrupt your night vision or interfere with their sleep. Blue light waves do both. And, put a humidifier, fan, or even white noise machine in their room to provide a constant, soothing background noise that will also block out what it going on outside their room that will draw their attention & interrupt their sleep. Finally, get a small carry on bag & pack a substitute version of EVERYTHING you might possibly need if they went away to spend the night somewhere. That way, if your infant gets fussy in public, you can deal with ANY emergency from hunger to boredom to sleepiness to a full-on blowout. Babies cry because they reach ego depletion & they have no other way to tell you that something is wrong & no frontal lobe development to delay their desire to have you fix it NOW! So, arm yourselves with all of the weapons necessary to successfully duel the tears.
I have 3 sons and 3 grandsons. The bottoms of my feet are forever shaped like Legos. Im either stepping on them or vacuuming them up. If I was limber enough I could probably snap my feet together.
The best solution to a poopy diaper is to bag it up in a plastic grocery sack and take it outside to the trash bins immediately. Wet diapers still stink, but the messy ones can’t stay indoors.
The no nap rule is on point! I don't know how many times we were driving along and I would whisper to my husband that our son was almost asleep. Without fail, my husband would make a loud noise and wake up our son. Seemed cruel then but as you said, he will stay up hours and have more energy than us😅
@@rmo8267 That's the one piece of advice I've given to all my friends and relatives that have had a baby boy: "When changing your boy's diaper, ALWAYS keep your mouth closed. because that thing can go off without warning and your child will have better aim than someone going through scout sniper training."
If I had any idea what I was getting into, I wouldn’t have tried to decorate a nursery with sweet, precious wallpaper and keepsake furniture. I would have outfitted a bunker. I just want you expecting parents to know that they will rip everything off the walls and graffiti all over the furniture. Go ahead and install gray carpet because it will end up that color no matter how often you shampoo it. And yes: the old photos break my heart ❤️
I mean as a child I would more say "who gave you the right to force another being to experience this you selfish narcasist" But hey I actually live in reality and not 1786 like most breeders so yeah
Amen, Brother. My first-time dad diaper-container horror story: For those who had not dealt with these, the container is lined with a heavy-duty plastic bag to hold (and package up) the old diapers. Anyways, the first time I tried to remove the white-plastic-bag-from-Hell, in an effort to make it slide out more easily, I squeezed (squoze?) the sides of the bag to puff out all the excess air. Which, of course, it poofed a big blast of air square into my face. As Matt said, it’ll change your life…
The only thing that beats a four-year-old screaming "Daaa-deeee", is a four-year-old screaming "Gran-Daaa-deeee". It was stunning how smart my dad suddenly begame when I was now the parent. Just stunning.
@@613aristocrat The packs were still a dozen back then; it's been a while! Traditional birdseye weave cloth diapers, not those modern things that were super thick with extra padding in the middle.
@alysoffoxdale my kids didn't have specific items that they loved when they were little but my daughter started collecting stuffed animals as a teen and now at 3 months shy of 20 has one that she sleeps with every night and I've sewn holes up on. The weirdest lovey I ever saw was a little girl that was babysat by the woman who babysat my little brother. This child had found a pair of her moms silk underwear as a toddler and refused to let go of them from that point on. Luckily she kept them balled up in her tiny fist except when she was sleepy at which point she'd rub them between her thumb and forefinger. When it was time for her to start kindergarten her mom "borrowed" them to wash them and actually took them to a lady and had them made into a little purse in the matter of an hour or less. That way she was able to take them with her to school and nobody be any wiser 😂
@@caseys9310 Oh, that was such a clever save! XD The weirdest one I ever heard about, though, was not fabric at all. That baby's mom did so much cleaning that the baby attached to a *_scrub brush!_* o.0
That's what my nephew has chosen as well. It's definitel easier than the nightly bunny hunt we had my son lol. I had bought a back-up bunny when we saw how much he loved it, but eventually he discovered that there were 2 bunnies so then he had to have both. And then it expanded to all 5 of the different stuffed bunnies he had. 😂❤
The first child just going to a friends house required a truck and half a back seat full of “just in case stuff. By our 3rd child we put an extra diaper in our pocket, small ziplock of formula powder, and an extra onesie over the shoulder.
My daughter had a Raggedy Annie doll . It was more prized to her then a Linus blanket . It would become covered in food , dirt and snot very fast . We would tell her that Annie needed a bath in the washing machine . That's when we would carefully make the switch . Yes I would definitely buy a quantity of 5 at a time , so they are identical .
Listen... I'd rather be with a Diaper Genie than without one. But yeah, you should never, EVER forget to toss that bag by trash day. Even if you have to haul the whole Genie outside in the rain or 10 degree temps to change it, it will always be better than the alternative. And no, keeping them in the garage is not an option.
Such good advice about the stuffies! My son was attached to a bright pink sparkly matchbox car. It got lost in the chucky cheese ball pit. I promptly ran to Toys R Us and bought them out of those pink cars. We said Chucky found Cool Car and mailed it back! Not sorry!
I bought a tool at Walmart that puts snaps on things and it was life-changing. Those bibs with the velcro that gets gummed up with fuzz and thread after a few washes? Not a problem.
Oh I could see that for a newborn, but I needed something hard for my daughter at around 14-16 months to open. See, she'd figured out zippers by then (plus it was summer) so the footie jammies were out, but she'd take off her clothes, so she could get out of the dirty diaper. Which I don't blame her for not wanting to be in it, but she didn't want me when she woke up, she wanted to play in it so she would SNEAK, so help me. (This is the early days of baby monitors -- they were too weak to catch rustling -- and at this point in her life she slept for 2-4 hours as a nap so there was no reliable way to make sure I got her as she was waking up short of camping in the doorway.) And since she was a long baby I had the hardest time finding onsies for 18 - 24 months...
haha sounds like a smart kid. though that would be a nightmare to clean up after. I think the magnets lasted till around 8 months (hard to remember, she's 7 now and my brain has walled off most of dealing with babies)
What gets me is how once the kid starts walking and figures out how to open the lid. How does that open lid NOT repulse them?? Thank goodness for the "kid lock".
I have a pretty good collection of Legos because I thought that maybe if Daddy kept the Legos he stepped on, Legos would be kept out of the floor. But when they get a new lego set for every holiday, good doctor visit, birthday, Tuesday, etc...there is such an abundance of lego ducks that one gallon ziplock baggy doesn't even make a dent.
So very true. Embrace even the rough days; they will happen, but to wish the bad to hurry away is to wish the good away as well. Never say "I can't wait until baby can..." That means you've wished away all the good things about their current stage.
My second had a rough start. GERD and lactose intolerant. My “I can’t wait until baby can” was for him to not scream constantly from a raging case of heartburn and to keep his formula down. I get you’re trying to be supportive, but it’s completely okay for parents to not enjoy a particular season of their child’s life. My second was over a year old before we knew what his giggle sounded like. He wasn’t enjoying himself either, and he was under great care from a great doctor who took his GERD seriously and identified the lactose intolerance. I was attacked for not enjoying my infant puking on me constantly, and was screened by several nurses with the “enjoy all season of this journey” ideology for post partum unnecessarily as a result. It just added more stress to an already stressful time, so no, wishing the bad to hurry away does not also wish the good away. Sometimes it ushers in the good.
@@LittleRedLemon04 My 3rd cried non stop from 11am to 2am from 2 weeks until almost a year. Never knew why. I do know the feeling of wanting the crying to stop. Thr ONLY thing that worked was nursing her and I was the only one who could do that. Best anyone else could do was comfort her for a few minutes. Got good at doing things one handed. Couple that with taking care of a 7 yr old and a 3 yr old, I was happy when 15 minutes was shaved off her crying every week or so until she was a happy normal hour baby.
My daughter had so many stuffies that when she lined them up for a parade, they spiraled around the room several times. There was no favorite TOY, thank goodness because 90% of them were gifts, or worse, handmade (by my granma and my m-i-l) with no way to replicate or replace them. Come to think of it, the thing she needed to help her sleep was the bassinet music box, so my husband just recorded a CD of that for when it started to wear out.... My son meanwhile had one of the HUGE CostCo bears as his lovely, and that would not fit in the car and thus was not coming with us so it stayed safe at home.
“The Forbidden Pez Dispenser”😂😂😂 That is so true. I used to clean Churches and the Nurseries in them and man those things stunk up multiple rooms when we had to open them up.😂
I understand that you can relive the cuteness and tribultation over again, in real time. It does take at least 9 months for the baby app to refresh, but no two playthroughs are exactly the same.
My son wasn't as picky about his blue bear. He even grew once- referring to the bear, although in all fairness the child grew continually lol). The smaller version of the bear was replaced by a slightly larger version in store and he didn't seem to mind. Several were lost so keep that in mind parents-- acquire extra wubbies, fluffies or what have you just for that reason alone!
Those kid show songs that you’re hearing now will stay with you forever. I sang the Dora theme song for my now 20 year old daughter ( don’t ask why) and she was just amazed that I knew it. I reminded her that it’s 41/2 hours to Grandma’s and guess what was the only show she wanted to watch. By the way… be glad there are headphones for kids now.
That was why I told my sister not to let her youngest listen to "Diggy Diggy Hole" when it featured on RUclips. You know how kids will murder a theme song and then repeat it over... and over...
Awe, happy daddy! Back in the olden days, 😂, my mom didn’t believe in Pampers. Her mom was old school and they washed cloth diapers a lot! In fact, the washing machine I use today was the replacement one my grandparents had to buy because my diapers being washed destroyed their old 1960s one. And I am not going to sell this old yellow machine.
As a mother of our only son who is about to graduate HS, the picture statement really gets me right now. I will also add, as a parent of a teenage boy, and I hear it's the same for the girls, everyone tells you to save for college, but NO ONE tells you to start saving for a grocery budget when these kids turn 13 or so and decide they need 5 meals a day plus snacks. And my son is not large, he is athletic, works out with the weightlifting team, and is active with the marching band. Good luck new parents, it gets easier and harder at the same time 😬
I just sang "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family - with GREAT big hug & a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me, too," to my 15 year old last night. I had to figure out something to make him laugh & surprise him with a hug since he's too grown to love on his mom these days. 😂
Yep. I remember being in first or second grade and lying when everyone was saying that they didn't watch Barney anymore. Now being much older I'm pretty sure they were all still watching Barney too, but no 6 or 7 year old is going to admit that at school.
😂 my son and his cousin nearly got into a brawl over that purple dinosaur. My son was 4 and his cousin was 6. My son was wearing a T-shirt with said dino on the front when his cousin told him he hated that dino. Older cousin told on him let everybody know that he still watched everyday.😂
"Binky bamboozled", that one really made me laugh. I only ever had one special blankie as a kid, but I was careful not to lose it. My sister carried hers everywhere so much that she wore it almost to pieces. I don't know where my blankie is now...huh.
Maybe if you start from the beginning rotating two or three so that no one item gets too worn/scented/frayed/torn. Heckuva job trying to keep up that routine where they all feel/smell/look the same to the child. Or, maybe we just put out foot down from the beginning and don't tolerate this "I have to have this particular item" attitude.
@@CarlaQuattlebaum Except I was just talking of my own experience as a child. I have no kids and absolutely am not having kids in the future. I think it's perfectly fine for a kid to have a comfort item. They're a child.
When my nephew was 9 months old the whole family went on a trip to California. Right before we left my sister-in-law realized we did not have Tiggy, but decided it would, “probably be fine.” The only time that kid slept that week was in brief naps when one of us was holding him. I remember everyone scouring stores trying to see if we could find another one to give him, but apparently they stopped manufacturing that particular model.
About the favorite song thing - when our oldest kid, Eric, was in day care at a Nazarene day care, we got in trouble with them because he went in singing a Judas Priest (I think) song that his dad was playing in the car. "Sacrifice tonight we'll die at the hands of the sinner! Sinner! Sinner!". However Pink Floyd "Us and Them" helped me get him down for a nap after the Nazarene day care said we aren't a good fit there. Eric called (and still calls at 34) that song "The Mellowing Out Song". Hey Eric! Eric watches your channel. Let's see if he reads the comments.
My husband played “Ich tu dir weh” by Rammstein all the time around our daughter. One of the first videos I have of her grooving to a song is to that one. Then I translated the lyrics 😳😳😳
I teach Sunday school age 4 to kindergarten and I've had kids come in singing songs that were inappropriate😮😊 You probably dodged a bullet by not being a good fit....
@@tishakorkus2082 yeah, translating Rammstein is, um, interesting... After I did a couple of their songs I decided to stop... And don't watch their concert vids around children or innocent people......
You are absolutely correct about the kids falling asleep right before we would get home. One of us would be driving. The other one would keep a watch to see if she were dozing off and if so, the total tickling and loud talking began in ernest. We probably got to the yelling, but at that point we were so sleep deprived that did not make long-term memories.
So glad my diaper changing days are over, at least until I become a grandfather, which had better be a minimum of 5 years from now (in case my kids are somehow reading this). Looking at you, child #2. You know who you are.
I always loved the scene in Hotel Transylvania when he's changing his daughter's diaper and placed it into a casket. It's very true. Diaper cans should be installed with a vent for those fumes to escape.
The animal thing is legit - My daughter had a dog that got left at home on vacation so we went to a kids store and she picked out a smaller version. At one point we had 2 of each. She is 21, and still has that damn dog. The music is important, if you train them from early on my kids listen to a lot of 70's & 80's stuff....not the crap they call music today.
I still have the Snoopy dog I had as a baby and I'm less than 9 months younger than Matt. So, your daughter might keep it for a long time. Also, my dad made it a goal of his to make sure we listened to 50s-80s rock when we were little during his days off. My mom had CMT on during the day while my dad worked. I still prefer rock to country. My dad is now old enough to be a grandad. He's not one yet, but he cringes whenever he hears songs like Baby Shark or Let it Go because he drives my mom's friend and her grandkids to church.
My baby started having a stuffy a few months ago. Hes obsessed. I have to sneak washing him and he cant sleep without him. We got it as a newborn gift. And hes a year now. The toy is discontinued!! Ugh. I cant find it. I was gonna buy an extra one just incase but nope. So i may get screwed later.
2 weeks in we started rotating stuffies to wear them evenly. 30 minutes of crying later we gave up on that and have one mint and one rubbed furless elephant. Refused to even keep they stunt Ella in the crib and we couldn't tell them apart.
That bit about the looking at pics a year later is probably the hardest part about being a parent. I'm a single dad and my son is 6 and my daughter 5 and I actively avoid looking at my photo gallery because of all the heavy hard hitting emotions. I've been there for both my kids pretty much alone for the past 5 years of their lives barring a moment when my son went to live with his mom for a year, so I've been there for everything, they are my everything, and looking back to when they relied on me even more than they do now reminds me that time flies faster than I realize and soon enough they wont need an old man like me at all. Soon enough they'll be out of the house living their own lives and I'll just be here waiting. I look back and feel like I've just been wasting what limited time I have with them. Haha this sucks :)
No matter what your child does, remember that you love them. Imagine their toys never moving again, their room staying exactly as it is, forever. You don't ever want to know what that's like.
"Buy 40" is an absolute requirement. Especially if you have a child that has sensory issues. My little girl has a Minnie Mouse blanket she sleeps with that is soooo threadbare that I can read through it....and have NOT been able to find that same pattern ANYWHERE!!!!! Even a Google search of a photo of it cannot find it....😭
My sister wore giant holes in her blankie because she took it everywhere. I was weird with my blankie in that I had to have it in my bed with me, but I didn't hold onto it. I also never took it anywhere, because even that young I was terrified something would happen to it and I think now that I didn't want it to smell weird if I took it somewhere that wasn't home. My autism sure presented strangely, lol.
@@TheRealPurpleHand For sure. I never had the language development issue that most people think of (learning languages is fairly easy for me), but I still misunderstand people and eye contact is a major nope for me (makes my skin crawl, lol). I can pass for neurotypical most of the time when I care to try.
When I and my siblings had our kids, it was the 80s. We made solemn agreements that there would be no presents that included: legos, barbie shoes and toys that make sounds.. no musical instruments or pull string talking stuff. It was a good bond.
All this video tells me you never listened to stories about your childhood. Every "embarrassing story" your parents told about you is a lesson of what to expect.
Thomas the Tank Engine, PB&J Otter, Rollie Pollie Ollie, and Wishbone were our kids' favorites. Though I made the mistake of letting our oldest watch Bull Durham at a very young age (I forgot the language in it). Fortunately, she picked up the key wisdom about rainouts, writing things down, learn your cliches, the tiny difference between a .250 and a .300, and don't throw a hanging curveball on a 0-2 pitch, among many others
"Makes you wanna scream out... Lego Duck"
Full circle with the Kids Bop joke. Well done
My response would have been something that rhymes with cluck.
I'm now in my late 60s. When I was 6-7 years old I got a stuffed tiger hand puppet. I loved that puppet but alas he got worn out. When I was in my early 20s my Mom gave me a box on Christmas day. Inside was an almost exact replica of that tiger puppet. I actually cried when Mon told me she had been looking for one for years. I still have Tiger II.
What a great mom she was.
@@bryanhayes9728 Thank you.
Comment’s so sweet it gave me diabetes. Thanks.
@@abcdefghij337 Ok , you win the internet reply today. Funniest comment ever and thanks for that! :))
That's the best part about buying a lot of the same loveys (I'd imagine, I don't have children), that you can gift them a new one when they grow up so they can treasure them all over again, but also keep a few for the future grandchildren.
I physically recoiled at the thought of changing a full diaper pail that had been sitting for the length of a vacation. Don't even open it, throw the whole thing away. Not worth it.
That reminds me of what happened at work once. I work at a boarding facility for dogs and cats and we had a particularly messy dog one time. The dog had made a major mess and gotten poop all over the place. A coworker pulled out a metal water bowl absolutely coated in poop. She gingerly held it and looked at me with an expression I can't hope to describe. We shared a look as she wholesale dumped the bowl in the trash. I couldn't stop laughing about it and it still makes me laugh to this day.
Or like don't curse children to exsistance just because you are too fragile to realize humanity is better off without your genes.
Like legit, none of you need to be having kids, you are expressly pro-torture if you are having kids you are literally dooming them to die of starvation because you can't handle your genes dying with you (sorry I'm the best version of me that will exsist, none of you get my neurodivergent genes) having a kid is immoral 100% you are damning another person to suffer. Absolutely shameful, you should feel bad abt it you're a bad person.
@@SolaScientia
Made me laugh too. Thanks for that😄
We once left our son’s blankie in the church nursery, and by the time we realized it everyone had gone home and the church was locked up. I seriously considered calling the pastor at home on a Sunday night and asking him to let us in but realized there was no way to do that without sounding like a crazy person. It was a long night and I was at the door on Monday morning when the secretary arrived.
Nah, you’d sound like a parent. I get waiting, but also…I’d absolutely call. ☺️
Nah. You can call. I do nursery twice a month at church. We understand 😊
And the pastor either has kids and gets it or needs to learn about it! (But the pastor is probably also dog tired on Sunday evening.)
@@joshuaharper372 💯 on both points.
Oh believe me, that’s not even close to the craziest call that pastor ever got!
The stuffed animal thing is 10000% true. We have 2 of the same stuffed cow, and my daughter only wants the old worn one, and hates the fluffy soft like new one.
Same here when my daughter was born. She is 4 now. She likes her snoppy blanket and her scobby doo pillow
As someone with sensory issues growing up I had a baby blanket my grandmother knitted for me and the smell mattered the most and the very specific feeling of the wool almost fraying was second. Both of those immediately went away as soon as it was washed (or in the case of smell left behind at a grandparents house for a day or two). So while as a preschooler I didn’t have the language or emotional processing skills to be able to articulate why that was I knew it just felt wrong after it was washed and it infuriated my parents who would try and pull it out of my grasp while I was sleeping to wash it. So know that while it may seem weird now, your kid will probably be able to tell you way in a few years.
I did replace a loved stuffie and had a tough time convincing them, until I reminded my child how good mommy is at washing dirty things and then they finally bought it! 😂 Definitely rotate several so that doesn’t happen, LOL!
We have a giraffe with a horn that was half separated and our 2 year old at the time knew if we gave him a different one that didn’t have the horn worn out halfway. So we had to cut the little horn on the other one so they were the same.
So true. We had two dog lovies (one for the car and one for bed), and one time on vacation we accidentally brought in the car one. When our son saw two lovies, it's like his brain exploded. He had to have two lovies all the time from then on. Then a year later he somehow developed a preference for one (the way his finger fit in the ear loop) and he WOULD NOT SLEEP if we couldn't find that SPECIFIC lovie.
The thing about buying multiples of the lovey & rotating them in & out, washing them all periodically to ensure equal wear & tear, is GOLD!!! Also, put in a lamp with a red light bulb in their room to keep on all night long. It serves as a nightlight & lets you see them when you have to go into the room to feed or change at night without having to turn on a real light waking the both of you up completely, but because it is red, it won't disrupt your night vision or interfere with their sleep. Blue light waves do both. And, put a humidifier, fan, or even white noise machine in their room to provide a constant, soothing background noise that will also block out what it going on outside their room that will draw their attention & interrupt their sleep. Finally, get a small carry on bag & pack a substitute version of EVERYTHING you might possibly need if they went away to spend the night somewhere. That way, if your infant gets fussy in public, you can deal with ANY emergency from hunger to boredom to sleepiness to a full-on blowout. Babies cry because they reach ego depletion & they have no other way to tell you that something is wrong & no frontal lobe development to delay their desire to have you fix it NOW! So, arm yourselves with all of the weapons necessary to successfully duel the tears.
I have 3 sons and 3 grandsons. The bottoms of my feet are forever shaped like Legos. Im either stepping on them or vacuuming them up. If I was limber enough I could probably snap my feet together.
😂
I seemed to always step on the soggy animal cracker .
Snap my feet together 😂😂😂😂
The best solution to a poopy diaper is to bag it up in a plastic grocery sack and take it outside to the trash bins immediately. Wet diapers still stink, but the messy ones can’t stay indoors.
The no nap rule is on point! I don't know how many times we were driving along and I would whisper to my husband that our son was almost asleep. Without fail, my husband would make a loud noise and wake up our son. Seemed cruel then but as you said, he will stay up hours and have more energy than us😅
Did that with my daughter when she was younger, she slept all night at about 6 weeks old.
As a former transportation driver, for a Foster Care organization, I listened to more Kidz Bop than ANYONE should be subjected to 🤯
Thank you for your service, and I'm sorry for your earworms.
Perfectly said, Matt! One of my many lessons, since my kiddos wore cloth diapers, was this -- Never, ever yawn while emptying the diaper pail.
Also, never yawn while changing a boy's diaper 😂
@@rmo8267 Not unless you want a drink!🤣
Indeed! Our daughter was born first. When her little brother arrived, I learned some different "diaper strategies" quickly!
@@rmo8267 Something about removing a boys dipper and the fresh air going there . The distance is amazing .
@@rmo8267 That's the one piece of advice I've given to all my friends and relatives that have had a baby boy: "When changing your boy's diaper, ALWAYS keep your mouth closed. because that thing can go off without warning and your child will have better aim than someone going through scout sniper training."
If I had any idea what I was getting into, I wouldn’t have tried to decorate a nursery with sweet, precious wallpaper and keepsake furniture.
I would have outfitted a bunker.
I just want you expecting parents to know that they will rip everything off the walls and graffiti all over the furniture. Go ahead and install gray carpet because it will end up that color no matter how often you shampoo it.
And yes: the old photos break my heart ❤️
Congrats on becoming a parent.
Don’t care if it was years ago.
I mean as a child I would more say "who gave you the right to force another being to experience this you selfish narcasist"
But hey I actually live in reality and not 1786 like most breeders so yeah
@@ConstantChaos1 Given that you seem to to be anti-natalist, you really don't live in reality. Please, see a psychiatrist.
Amen, Brother.
My first-time dad diaper-container horror story:
For those who had not dealt with these, the container is lined with a heavy-duty plastic bag to hold (and package up) the old diapers.
Anyways, the first time I tried to remove the white-plastic-bag-from-Hell, in an effort to make it slide out more easily, I squeezed (squoze?) the sides of the bag to puff out all the excess air. Which, of course, it poofed a big blast of air square into my face.
As Matt said, it’ll change your life…
The only thing that beats a four-year-old screaming "Daaa-deeee", is a four-year-old screaming "Gran-Daaa-deeee". It was stunning how smart my dad suddenly begame when I was now the parent. Just stunning.
OMG, I am _so incredibly grateful_ that the comfort item my baby imprinted on was the cloth "dribble catcher" diapers we protected our shoulders with!
Yup. They come in packs of ten.
@@613aristocrat The packs were still a dozen back then; it's been a while! Traditional birdseye weave cloth diapers, not those modern things that were super thick with extra padding in the middle.
@alysoffoxdale my kids didn't have specific items that they loved when they were little but my daughter started collecting stuffed animals as a teen and now at 3 months shy of 20 has one that she sleeps with every night and I've sewn holes up on.
The weirdest lovey I ever saw was a little girl that was babysat by the woman who babysat my little brother. This child had found a pair of her moms silk underwear as a toddler and refused to let go of them from that point on. Luckily she kept them balled up in her tiny fist except when she was sleepy at which point she'd rub them between her thumb and forefinger. When it was time for her to start kindergarten her mom "borrowed" them to wash them and actually took them to a lady and had them made into a little purse in the matter of an hour or less. That way she was able to take them with her to school and nobody be any wiser 😂
@@caseys9310 Oh, that was such a clever save! XD
The weirdest one I ever heard about, though, was not fabric at all. That baby's mom did so much cleaning that the baby attached to a *_scrub brush!_* o.0
That's what my nephew has chosen as well. It's definitel easier than the nightly bunny hunt we had my son lol. I had bought a back-up bunny when we saw how much he loved it, but eventually he discovered that there were 2 bunnies so then he had to have both. And then it expanded to all 5 of the different stuffed bunnies he had. 😂❤
The first child just going to a friends house required a truck and half a back seat full of “just in case stuff. By our 3rd child we put an extra diaper in our pocket, small ziplock of formula powder, and an extra onesie over the shoulder.
My daughter had a Raggedy Annie doll . It was more prized to her then a Linus blanket . It would become covered in food , dirt and snot very fast . We would tell her that Annie needed a bath in the washing machine . That's when we would carefully make the switch . Yes I would definitely buy a quantity of 5 at a time , so they are identical .
Listen... I'd rather be with a Diaper Genie than without one. But yeah, you should never, EVER forget to toss that bag by trash day. Even if you have to haul the whole Genie outside in the rain or 10 degree temps to change it, it will always be better than the alternative.
And no, keeping them in the garage is not an option.
😂. I put the diapers in the garage once and only once. Next morning I went to put it the garbage outside and oh boy.
My new swear phrase. “Ahh, Lego DUCK!”
That 5 minute nap statement is A FACT! We stopped letting our child fall asleep after a certain time in the evening for this reason.
Such good advice about the stuffies! My son was attached to a bright pink sparkly matchbox car. It got lost in the chucky cheese ball pit. I promptly ran to Toys R Us and bought them out of those pink cars. We said Chucky found Cool Car and mailed it back! Not sorry!
Don't blame you at all for not being sorry.
“Binky bamboozled” is BRILLIANT!!😂😂😂😂😂
I loved it!
I bought a tool at Walmart that puts snaps on things and it was life-changing. Those bibs with the velcro that gets gummed up with fuzz and thread after a few washes? Not a problem.
GREAT IDEA
Magnets are the Cadillac of baby clothes. We had one outfit with them and I think my kid wore it every other day.
Oh I could see that for a newborn, but I needed something hard for my daughter at around 14-16 months to open. See, she'd figured out zippers by then (plus it was summer) so the footie jammies were out, but she'd take off her clothes, so she could get out of the dirty diaper.
Which I don't blame her for not wanting to be in it, but she didn't want me when she woke up, she wanted to play in it so she would SNEAK, so help me. (This is the early days of baby monitors -- they were too weak to catch rustling -- and at this point in her life she slept for 2-4 hours as a nap so there was no reliable way to make sure I got her as she was waking up short of camping in the doorway.) And since she was a long baby I had the hardest time finding onsies for 18 - 24 months...
haha sounds like a smart kid. though that would be a nightmare to clean up after. I think the magnets lasted till around 8 months (hard to remember, she's 7 now and my brain has walled off most of dealing with babies)
“The forbidden Pez dispenser”! Such adorable little stink bombs, lol. 😆🤣😂
What gets me is how once the kid starts walking and figures out how to open the lid. How does that open lid NOT repulse them?? Thank goodness for the "kid lock".
This is another great comedic stream of thoughts by Matt Mitchell.
Lamb Chops was and is my favorite childhood memories to pass on to my kids. Along with the original A-team, and little House on the Prairie.
I have a pretty good collection of Legos because I thought that maybe if Daddy kept the Legos he stepped on, Legos would be kept out of the floor. But when they get a new lego set for every holiday, good doctor visit, birthday, Tuesday, etc...there is such an abundance of lego ducks that one gallon ziplock baggy doesn't even make a dent.
"the energy of 30 adult triathletes🤣😂🤣😂..." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Matt obviously has kids!
So very true. Embrace even the rough days; they will happen, but to wish the bad to hurry away is to wish the good away as well.
Never say "I can't wait until baby can..." That means you've wished away all the good things about their current stage.
My second had a rough start. GERD and lactose intolerant. My “I can’t wait until baby can” was for him to not scream constantly from a raging case of heartburn and to keep his formula down. I get you’re trying to be supportive, but it’s completely okay for parents to not enjoy a particular season of their child’s life. My second was over a year old before we knew what his giggle sounded like. He wasn’t enjoying himself either, and he was under great care from a great doctor who took his GERD seriously and identified the lactose intolerance. I was attacked for not enjoying my infant puking on me constantly, and was screened by several nurses with the “enjoy all season of this journey” ideology for post partum unnecessarily as a result. It just added more stress to an already stressful time, so no, wishing the bad to hurry away does not also wish the good away. Sometimes it ushers in the good.
@@LittleRedLemon04 My 3rd cried non stop from 11am to 2am from 2 weeks until almost a year. Never knew why. I do know the feeling of wanting the crying to stop.
Thr ONLY thing that worked was nursing her and I was the only one who could do that. Best anyone else could do was comfort her for a few minutes. Got good at doing things one handed.
Couple that with taking care of a 7 yr old and a 3 yr old, I was happy when 15 minutes was shaved off her crying every week or so until she was a happy normal hour baby.
The accuracy is unmatched 🤣🤣💜
The last part brought tears to my eyes. Tears of love and joy.
My daughter had so many stuffies that when she lined them up for a parade, they spiraled around the room several times. There was no favorite TOY, thank goodness because 90% of them were gifts, or worse, handmade (by my granma and my m-i-l) with no way to replicate or replace them. Come to think of it, the thing she needed to help her sleep was the bassinet music box, so my husband just recorded a CD of that for when it started to wear out....
My son meanwhile had one of the HUGE CostCo bears as his lovely, and that would not fit in the car and thus was not coming with us so it stayed safe at home.
Yup. Raising kids. The days are long but believe me...the years are short.
01:27 "buy 40 of them minimum" Ha ha ha. now that THAT was funny. and true.
Perfectly captures parenthood.
I didn’t know I felt as strongly as I did about buttons. I audibly said, “AMEN!”
Learned something about myself today.
“The Forbidden Pez Dispenser”😂😂😂 That is so true. I used to clean Churches and the Nurseries in them and man those things stunk up multiple rooms when we had to open them up.😂
We had to buy a new diaper genie because we couldn't get the thing stop smelling no matter how much we cleaned it. It was like it was possessed.
Preach
I understand that you can relive the cuteness and tribultation over again, in real time.
It does take at least 9 months for the baby app to refresh, but no two playthroughs are exactly the same.
Information I could have used 6 years ago. I swear it's like my daughters aren't even related.
And after pausing for a decade or so, it refreshes itself. The new map is even more fun.
As a single parent with a 3 and 6 year old every word spoken rings true
I'm a parent of a 15, 22 & 23 year old & it's still all very true. 😂
Dude, your videos are awesome, keep it real
My son wasn't as picky about his blue bear. He even grew once- referring to the bear, although in all fairness the child grew continually lol). The smaller version of the bear was replaced by a slightly larger version in store and he didn't seem to mind. Several were lost so keep that in mind parents-- acquire extra wubbies, fluffies or what have you just for that reason alone!
Those kid show songs that you’re hearing now will stay with you forever. I sang the Dora theme song for my now 20 year old daughter ( don’t ask why) and she was just amazed that I knew it. I reminded her that it’s 41/2 hours to Grandma’s and guess what was the only show she wanted to watch. By the way… be glad there are headphones for kids now.
I taught kindergarten….”Wheels on the Bus”…..😳
True! I’m 53, our girls are 27 & 25… I could sing their kids songs all day…
That was why I told my sister not to let her youngest listen to "Diggy Diggy Hole" when it featured on RUclips. You know how kids will murder a theme song and then repeat it over... and over...
Awe, happy daddy!
Back in the olden days, 😂, my mom didn’t believe in Pampers. Her mom was old school and they washed cloth diapers a lot! In fact, the washing machine I use today was the replacement one my grandparents had to buy because my diapers being washed destroyed their old 1960s one.
And I am not going to sell this old yellow machine.
As a mother of our only son who is about to graduate HS, the picture statement really gets me right now. I will also add, as a parent of a teenage boy, and I hear it's the same for the girls, everyone tells you to save for college, but NO ONE tells you to start saving for a grocery budget when these kids turn 13 or so and decide they need 5 meals a day plus snacks. And my son is not large, he is athletic, works out with the weightlifting team, and is active with the marching band.
Good luck new parents, it gets easier and harder at the same time 😬
I am dating my age, but at least that damnable purple dinosaur is done!
I just sang "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family - with GREAT big hug & a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me, too," to my 15 year old last night. I had to figure out something to make him laugh & surprise him with a hug since he's too grown to love on his mom these days. 😂
Yep. I remember being in first or second grade and lying when everyone was saying that they didn't watch Barney anymore. Now being much older I'm pretty sure they were all still watching Barney too, but no 6 or 7 year old is going to admit that at school.
I absolutely REFUSED to allow my daughter to watch that purple "thing"
One of my better parenting decisions 😂
I recall when our grandkids were all about that. You get those B-Dino songs in your head, and you're stuck for the day.
😂 my son and his cousin nearly got into a brawl over that purple dinosaur. My son was 4 and his cousin was 6. My son was wearing a T-shirt with said dino on the front when his cousin told him he hated that dino. Older cousin told on him let everybody know that he still watched everyday.😂
"Binky bamboozled", that one really made me laugh. I only ever had one special blankie as a kid, but I was careful not to lose it. My sister carried hers everywhere so much that she wore it almost to pieces. I don't know where my blankie is now...huh.
Maybe if you start from the beginning rotating two or three so that no one item gets too worn/scented/frayed/torn. Heckuva job trying to keep up that routine where they all feel/smell/look the same to the child. Or, maybe we just put out foot down from the beginning and don't tolerate this "I have to have this particular item" attitude.
@@CarlaQuattlebaum Except I was just talking of my own experience as a child. I have no kids and absolutely am not having kids in the future. I think it's perfectly fine for a kid to have a comfort item. They're a child.
You know what's even worse than Legos? Three-sided D & D dice. Makes me shiver just remembering and I might need to go lay down.
When my nephew was 9 months old the whole family went on a trip to California. Right before we left my sister-in-law realized we did not have Tiggy, but decided it would, “probably be fine.” The only time that kid slept that week was in brief naps when one of us was holding him. I remember everyone scouring stores trying to see if we could find another one to give him, but apparently they stopped manufacturing that particular model.
😂 try stepping on barbie accessories in the middle of the night. OUCH! GOSH DARNNIT! 😂😂😂
About the favorite song thing - when our oldest kid, Eric, was in day care at a Nazarene day care, we got in trouble with them because he went in singing a Judas Priest (I think) song that his dad was playing in the car. "Sacrifice tonight we'll die at the hands of the sinner! Sinner! Sinner!".
However Pink Floyd "Us and Them" helped me get him down for a nap after the Nazarene day care said we aren't a good fit there. Eric called (and still calls at 34) that song "The Mellowing Out Song".
Hey Eric! Eric watches your channel. Let's see if he reads the comments.
My husband played “Ich tu dir weh” by Rammstein all the time around our daughter. One of the first videos I have of her grooving to a song is to that one. Then I translated the lyrics 😳😳😳
I teach Sunday school age 4 to kindergarten and I've had kids come in singing songs that were inappropriate😮😊
You probably dodged a bullet by not being a good fit....
Us And Them is such a good mellowing out song.
@@tishakorkus2082 yeah, translating Rammstein is, um, interesting... After I did a couple of their songs I decided to stop... And don't watch their concert vids around children or innocent people......
One of your all-time best! And very fitting for us as our first is due in July.
You are absolutely correct about the kids falling asleep right before we would get home. One of us would be driving. The other one would keep a watch to see if she were dozing off and if so, the total tickling and loud talking began in ernest. We probably got to the yelling, but at that point we were so sleep deprived that did not make long-term memories.
So glad my diaper changing days are over, at least until I become a grandfather, which had better be a minimum of 5 years from now (in case my kids are somehow reading this). Looking at you, child #2. You know who you are.
I always loved the scene in Hotel Transylvania when he's changing his daughter's diaper and placed it into a casket.
It's very true.
Diaper cans should be installed with a vent for those fumes to escape.
This video = GENIUS
Just PURE GOLD, Matt.
GOOD one Matt!!
It's apparent who was the talent in It's a southern thing. They've fallen off a cliff, and you're producing great content.
The animal thing is legit - My daughter had a dog that got left at home on vacation so we went to a kids store and she picked out a smaller version. At one point we had 2 of each. She is 21, and still has that damn dog. The music is important, if you train them from early on my kids listen to a lot of 70's & 80's stuff....not the crap they call music today.
Older people were calling contemporary music crap in the 70's and 80's. You became one of those people. 😮
My 8 year old daughter recently found her sheepy from when she was 3 and it's now with her all the time again.
My daughter listens to what I listen to, 80s to 2000s music. She's been to three concerts and got two guitar pics from two of the bands.
@@loki2240we all do
I still have the Snoopy dog I had as a baby and I'm less than 9 months younger than Matt. So, your daughter might keep it for a long time.
Also, my dad made it a goal of his to make sure we listened to 50s-80s rock when we were little during his days off. My mom had CMT on during the day while my dad worked. I still prefer rock to country.
My dad is now old enough to be a grandad. He's not one yet, but he cringes whenever he hears songs like Baby Shark or Let it Go because he drives my mom's friend and her grandkids to church.
My baby started having a stuffy a few months ago. Hes obsessed. I have to sneak washing him and he cant sleep without him. We got it as a newborn gift. And hes a year now. The toy is discontinued!! Ugh. I cant find it. I was gonna buy an extra one just incase but nope. So i may get screwed later.
2 weeks in we started rotating stuffies to wear them evenly. 30 minutes of crying later we gave up on that and have one mint and one rubbed furless elephant. Refused to even keep they stunt Ella in the crib and we couldn't tell them apart.
Matt, humor and truth, you nailed it! Your accurate parent tribute is going to be my mother's/father's day video share this year. Thank you!
This is hilarious, as always. But my hubby and I have 2 recommendations regarding babies: 1. Durex, 2. Trojan
I saw you today at the mock interview your speech was outstanding
Well done and all very very true
FACTS
ALL FACTS!!!!
Beautiful!!!
That bit about the looking at pics a year later is probably the hardest part about being a parent. I'm a single dad and my son is 6 and my daughter 5 and I actively avoid looking at my photo gallery because of all the heavy hard hitting emotions. I've been there for both my kids pretty much alone for the past 5 years of their lives barring a moment when my son went to live with his mom for a year, so I've been there for everything, they are my everything, and looking back to when they relied on me even more than they do now reminds me that time flies faster than I realize and soon enough they wont need an old man like me at all. Soon enough they'll be out of the house living their own lives and I'll just be here waiting. I look back and feel like I've just been wasting what limited time I have with them. Haha this sucks :)
No matter what your child does, remember that you love them. Imagine their toys never moving again, their room staying exactly as it is, forever. You don't ever want to know what that's like.
Hugs to you from this internet stranger.
@@kynn23 Thank you.
I feel all of these...deeply. This is my life with a 1 yr old and a 3.5 yr old...
I had to watch twice because I like remembering how life was 40+ years ago.
Best video yet. Thanks for the content
Love you!!! Your humor is great!!😄😄
"Buy 40" is an absolute requirement. Especially if you have a child that has sensory issues. My little girl has a Minnie Mouse blanket she sleeps with that is soooo threadbare that I can read through it....and have NOT been able to find that same pattern ANYWHERE!!!!! Even a Google search of a photo of it cannot find it....😭
My sister wore giant holes in her blankie because she took it everywhere. I was weird with my blankie in that I had to have it in my bed with me, but I didn't hold onto it. I also never took it anywhere, because even that young I was terrified something would happen to it and I think now that I didn't want it to smell weird if I took it somewhere that wasn't home. My autism sure presented strangely, lol.
@SolaScientia I guess that's why they call it a spectrum now; there are so many variations that can be present.
@@TheRealPurpleHand For sure. I never had the language development issue that most people think of (learning languages is fairly easy for me), but I still misunderstand people and eye contact is a major nope for me (makes my skin crawl, lol). I can pass for neurotypical most of the time when I care to try.
Wonderful!
My (oldest) son tolerates Blippi. His real favorite is Booba.
But my (youngest) daughter absolutely LOVES Miss Rachel.
Bamboo body suit with dual zippers. The last a long time and stretch! Easy to change the diapers too!
Oh the memories! Glad I’m a grandparent now.
When I and my siblings had our kids, it was the 80s. We made solemn agreements that there would be no presents that included: legos, barbie shoes and toys that make sounds.. no musical instruments or pull string talking stuff. It was a good bond.
Had to look up the song and lyrics for Hey Ya...I see your point now 😮
All this video tells me you never listened to stories about your childhood. Every "embarrassing story" your parents told about you is a lesson of what to expect.
Yes yes yes and yes! The whole truth and nothing but the truth!
Coco whatever is way too late for my kids. They’re the original Blues Clues and Big Comfy Couch generation.
Thomas the Tank Engine, PB&J Otter, Rollie Pollie Ollie, and Wishbone were our kids' favorites. Though I made the mistake of letting our oldest watch Bull Durham at a very young age (I forgot the language in it). Fortunately, she picked up the key wisdom about rainouts, writing things down, learn your cliches, the tiny difference between a .250 and a .300, and don't throw a hanging curveball on a 0-2 pitch, among many others
buttons are also a choking, ear, and nose hazard.
Ooh Matt's an OutKast fan....respect!
Keep up the good work Matty!
I’ve laughed some of the hardest laughs I’ve ever had watching your videos!!
And for that, I thank you!
😂😂😂
- keep up the good work Matt
This was fantastic! :)
The most important video on RUclips!!
So True Y'all
The song thing is so true! My then 5 year old was belting out n 80's tune with so much pride. 🤥
My kids scattered Legos as “dad traps”, my reaction to the pain was wildly entertaining
That’s sadistic!
Well none of them became Dentists 😂
* salutes *
Absolutely amazing Sir. :)
Sweet and so true!
This was so good. You make everything funny and entertaining. Nice work.
"Victorian Era clowns." I burst out laughing.😂😂😂😂
So Funny But True!!!!!! 😂😂 Great Videos!!!!!!!
I’m an aunt 6 times over and a great aunt of one. This is still funny as heck even experiencing these things at second hand.
Keeping them awake is soooooo true!