As a cook in an "All-American" diner, I can confirm we do not *serve* gray slabs of meat. We *heat* gray slabs of meat until they are brown slabs of meat and serve those.
I've been to several of the southern states in the US and visited many a diner, and found the quality there to be really good. I've also visited American style diners here in the UK and they have been pretty good from the food quality point of view, but generally pricey, I suppose you're paying for the "experience". I've eaten a number of microwave burgers and decided that I would rather avoid them in future.
@@IanSlothieRolfe as US citizenof the southern states, raised in Tn, i can concur that our food is heart stoppigly delicious, it's for hungry people, or people who eat alot and want to die early
I have no idea why, but every couple of months, maybe even once a year, I have a weird craving that can only be satisfied by this scuffed microwave food
Same but my go to “Landshire Farm Double Cheeseburger” has been absolutely destroyed and idk if it’s ever coming back and everything else is genuinely awful but man..if you can try one of those do it.
Likewise. My craving is usually satisfied by a bowl of shockingly unhealthy macaroni and cheese and maybe some horrible frozen mashed potatoes with gelatinous gravy.
did anyone else notice that poor Barry's life went to shit when he teamed up with America's most hated pizza, Papa John's. That was a long time ago, he must have recovered some what since then.
Barry 'Doing things with toasters that should never be imagined, let alone attempted' Lewis. He's your man, Stuart. He's a nice bloke, who strikes me as the sort of person who would attempt to cook with a trouser press for a laugh.
Grey slabs of meat are occasionally present in American diners. However, those meat slabs tend to taste good, which I’m sure these meals aren’t emulating.
At least in the northeastern US, you'll frequently see expressly grey slabs of meat in diners in the form of scrapple. But as the name implies, we're not even trying to pretend what's in that.
Life takes me in many directions. People come and go, hopes are kindled and dashed, nations rise and fall. And every once in a while I check back in on this channel, and... yep... he’s still reviewing food from Poundland on his sofa... f***ing hero.
Having worked at a few disreputable jobs in my day, I can say without ego that I know who the target demographic is for these. It's the lower class wage slave: The person who only has at most fifteen minutes for lunch from the moment they clock out and lacks either the foresight, mental health, or loved ones to provide them with a packed lunch. These are purchased on-site, typically in the store or vending machine that stocks them, and can be purchased, prepared, and eaten within that scant fifteen minute window before returning to drudgery.
The sock you speak of, thats the pattented pig asshole and duckdick filtration system! Thats used to remove all the pathogens and inpurities in the slime when you eat it.
Toaster fires are indeed bad. My parent's wedding gift toaster (from the 70's) crapped out on me in 2006, turning two pop-tarts into the perfect fire starter. Despite being clever and otherwise well put together, I stood there trying to blow the fire out for a few seconds before unplugging the toaster and picking it up - and very unceremoniously hurling it out my balcony. It's a good thing I lived on the first floor.
@@emilyauld8622 We use a hoover from the 1980s. Works just as well as it did when I was a toddler (90s). I see no reason to get rid of something that still works, providing you give it maintenance.
As a sporadically depressed 31 year old I can say you don't need to be depressed to eat these. They are perfectly tasty at any point in time. All I eat is microwave food. It's not bad.
Stuart, have you tried the new Rustlers things that you cook in the box? I shit you not you just put the entire packaging in the microwave for two minutes. It's like a cardboard burger tray with a plastic bag and one of those crisper sleeve things, it comes out with really melted cheese and a crisp bun so it's maybe worth a shot
in the dollar tree stores they sell a jamaican patty ( looks like a small pasty) that you cook in the package in the microwave. the inner liner looks like plastic covering what looks like lead. but it works surprisingly well.
PS there are a lot of microwave 'foods' in the states that have 'crisping sleeves' and whatnot to improve the texture of the product, most notably hot pockets. but there are a few regional favorites like pizza puffs that a consumer can bake, microwave with the sleeve or deep fry.maybe I'll make a video sometime.
I was going to leave this very comment, bought one from Tesco on Friday out of curiosity, was surprised when the box expanded like a bag of microwave popcorn. Tried it and it was equal parts both soggy and desiccated by the "crisp sleeve" at the same time.
The grey slab depends on the diner, mostly. That said, typically it’s not pre-packaged or pre-prepared food. The allure of many diners is that they will prepare food a lot like you’d expect to have from home.
@@arrellmagister1849 does not quite do justice to the condition of the preparations for cooking the food; which will most likely be ladelling lard out of a bucket with [Home Depot] printed on the front, onto a griddle - but, does indeed describe the food, and rather concisely too!
@@arrellmagister1849 True, but its still healthier then frozen food. Not by much. I will say at least diner food doesn't surpass your daily salt intake in a single burger.
Diners in America generally offer simple meals like sausage gravy on toast, chicken noodle soup or burgers, but it's all homemade. I've never seen anything like this faux sausage McMuffin in any diner in any state, let alone reheated frozen stuff.
I bet he usually eats quite healthy and gets back the good nutrients because remember he only eats this crap one day a week or fortnight usually. Think of your cheat days, same principle.
I have just under £10 for food this month but if I look at that thumbnail I won't feel hungry. Ashens has granted us the visual equivalent of Dwarf Bread.
I watch over the top dessert and ice cream videos to put me off sugar. it works, by the end of the video I never want to touch sweets or puddings ever again.
No shit xen it is obvious that they made a mistake they don't need someone to correct a word you learn in kindergarten, but you keep it up maybe oneday you can correct bigger words
Oddly enough there's actually quite a few things like this in the US that are pretty good but some of them cost a good bit. If anything the ones I had that were bad were either the texture or they had too much spice. Salt's a huge issue in everything over here, even low salt veggies is still insanely high.
@@Caldella It's either salt or sugar* here in the USA even when the dish shouldn't have either. *sugar, substitute like corn syrup, or artificial sweetener.
@@lasarousi If you get 100% fresh raw veggies at the store, you should be fine, but stuff like canned veggies or ones included as part of a frozen quick meal... they tend to have more sodium than you'd think. And it's gross .
There was an Ed's easy diner in chester and I went one time. Not only was the food shit and the staff literally yelling at each other. They kept somehow slipping in one spot next to the bins and dropping plates causing a load of smashing and metallic sounds literally every 2 or 3 minutes. It was borderline comical. 10/10 would go again 😂
I don't know why they just don't include a huge packet of sauce or salsa or whatever so that it can cover up the bland meat. Surely it can't be that expensive?
you must have a decent enough quality of life, you still watch Ashens. that's a good thing. a plus One in your favour. Count that as an Up. yeah, innit.
"You wouldn't see weird slabs of grey meat in an American Diner" Yes, yes you do. They usually call it a turkey burger. It's usually dry and slimy at the same time. It smells of wet dog. It tastes like not much, but it has the texture of sand and meat at the same time. Source: Worked at an american diner for 3 years.
I've been to diners of varying quality in several states, but as someone who is into nostalgic Americana bullshit and collects dinerware (the nice thicc china they serve food on in most diners) I think the appeal of the traditional 24-hour diner is not that the food is good, but that it's there. If you want french fries and a milkshake at 4 a.m., if you need a cup of coffee at midnight, if, to paraphrase Bill Bryson, you just want to be around other people during the small hours of the morning...
@@riabouchinska american diners is like UKs " little chef " roadside resturants/cafes ,open all hours food is meh, expensive and prob have bad hygeiene standards but truckers go there
_"They also do a range of desserts and things... ... seems hard to mess those things, but you never know."_ Now, now, Stuart. You're starting to sound like your grandma. There's a very good chance those desserts are powerfully bad, so it's pretty much your duty to try them.
Actually Hash Browns cook great in the toaster. Been cooking frozen single ones for ages, great snack. Your able to make it crispy an soft in the middle.
True, there are even products made for just that, but I'd wager the 'hash brown patties' Ashens was dealing with might even jam and overload a bagel toaster...
This makes me wonder what Ed’s gets out of this. Surely people don’t buy these and then think: now we must head to a restaurant to savour more yummy goodness! At least Pizza Express pizzas in stores (say) are pretty good.
I’m meeting with piedmont college’s gunsmith instructor today about taking the corse. I just want to say thank you all the laughs over years. These videos helped me get through some dark times
Oh God no! Even name brand items has an off taste to it! I NEVER shop at Walmart. I only suffer if I'm at a party and other people bought the Walmart food. And Luke I said, it's not just their great value brand, it's ALL brands at Walmart that taste like shit. It's like these companies know exactly where a certain food item is going as far as Walmart, Kroger and other stores and purposefully give Walmart their trash products. That's the only thing I can come up with as to why that is. Please someone, tell me I'm not wrong!
@@wintermoon7003 You're very wrong. You must have grown up wealthy and so far out of touch to even think something like the producer of name brands purposely sends bad products to Walmart.
or an egg sponge with plasti-cheez. Blasphemy indeed. there are better horrible frozen breakfast sandwiches available. I can atest as true having eaten too many of them way back in the Way Back Then Dayz
Sometimes I wonder if Ashens even remembers what real food looks like. All these frozen-ass garbage burgers are gonna warp ya perspective at some point.
I mean... he already had years of a Poundland-based diet and he lived. He had a rotten Century Egg (a feat for the egg, it must be said) and he thrived. And then he went foraging for decades-expired delicacies and he´s here with us. I think he will make it.
As a person who worked at a retail shop. I used to see a man come in and pick up 4 jars or Tesco value curry sauce. Turned out he worked in a takeaway and it was easier to use that rather then make one.
I like how this was recommended to me a few days after I watched a video about "American" food in non-American countries. This would fit quite nicely in that video.
not in a diner, but on the road you can drive-thru a McD get their Sausage McBlech and pile on one of their soggy potatoish patty for the same effect. nausea.
@Patryk Karpinski it's because sausage is seen as a breakfast thing, and fast food capitalizes on people not having time to make actual food. This especially applies to the morning, so some brilliant capitalist decided that breakfast sandwiches were the thing to do (a sandwich so it only took one hand to eat). What do you put on a breakfast sandwich? Some egg, maybe bacon, fuck it! sausage!, and then while we're at it, add cheese so it's like a normal sandwich. Or at least that's the most logical reason I felt to put together for a reply on RUclips.
did i just do a 3 hour test that I ACTUALLY STUDIED FOR, did it in 1 hour and a few minutes, and decompress by watching a man with a gross old couch from my childhood, review gross food, ABSOLUTELY
From my experience the most cursed type of frozen sandwiches have to be tortillas, since apparently making the outside look vaguely like a pancake allows you to put absolutely repulsive contents inside. One shudders to imagine how a bootleg McWrap from these guys would look and taste like
I once tried to replicate a sausage mcmuffin which was amazingly easy - pork mince and some spices is the patty and everything else is straight forward - muffin, fried egg, cheese slice. When I made it I even cooked & froze a bunch of patties because you could make about 6 with a 400g portion of pork mince. What surprised me on my trips to the US, is that "breakfast sausage" is sold this way because people are so frigging lazy.
Not lazy. Americans don’t have time to mess around making homemade sausage patties. Morning is a huge rush for most Americans and they’re lucky to get through a drive thru for coffee before being whisked off to their shite jobs.
"You wouldn't find gray slabs of meat in an American diner". Literally played this video at full blast at a waffle house once because I ordered a steak and they gave me a gray slab of compressed wet sock.
I've only had a Waffle House steak once, and I find it difficult to describe the texture and flavor. The texture and flavor were definitely *not* steak.
I just ate one of these microwave burgers and instantly thought of ashens. They all taste the same more or less, just super salty to hide the fact that the meat don't taste like anything
Video idea: a taste test to see if you can tell the difference between the frozen Iceland greggs items and the same one bought from an actual greggs shop.
Well if this is anything like last time… Good luck Stu (even thought you’ve already recorded, edited and uploaded this and can’t hear me, but hey isn’t that true of every video?)
It certainly would be a feat if you watched a video that hadn't been uploaded, edited, or even recorded, and I would ask you for tomorrows lottery numbers, time wizard.
I forsee Ashens 'getting big and popular' to have a staff, and they'll inevitably edit and 'publish' his *last video*, likely found on a camera SIM card next to his corpse...
@@empath69 Honestly if it wound up going full “Old Ashens weird” like that, that would be pretty cool. Maybe it could then “loop back” to the first video and create a never ending cycle like that idea people have had for the Simpsons finale.
The CHAIN of stores, like in POUNDLAND (another Stuart favorite). Maybe someone should alert Larry Wolfe (The Wolfe Pit on YT) as he may like the place like he does Dollar Tree in The States.
As somebody who's waiting for surgery to open my mouth more than 2 centimeters, I can say that it's surprisingly therapeutic to see Ashens eat burgers and sandwiches that aren't very good.
I did used to live on these while I was lazy and broke but seriously, it takes absolutely no effort or money to, let's say, scramble some eggs or throw a couple sausages in the oven, and boom, you got a nice tasty meal with little to no more amount of effort and I guarantee it's more real and delicious than these radioactive waste burgers. Slap that between 2 slices of bread, and you get a better sandwich, all for the same price or sometimes even cheaper, I honestly feel sorry for the animal that was killed for this
What a lovely thing to wake up to. I shall now watch Stuart eat frozen burgers and maybe even get a little crazy and eat a different kind of frozen food from Ed.
As a cook in an "All-American" diner, I can confirm we do not *serve* gray slabs of meat. We *heat* gray slabs of meat until they are brown slabs of meat and serve those.
I've been to several of the southern states in the US and visited many a diner, and found the quality there to be really good. I've also visited American style diners here in the UK and they have been pretty good from the food quality point of view, but generally pricey, I suppose you're paying for the "experience". I've eaten a number of microwave burgers and decided that I would rather avoid them in future.
I was looking for a reply like this :D
@@IanSlothieRolfe as US citizenof the southern states, raised in Tn, i can concur that our food is heart stoppigly delicious, it's for hungry people, or people who eat alot and want to die early
The worst burger I've ever had came from a US Macdonalds. The best came from a random truckstop on the edge of the outback in Australia.
@@hjalfi Australian roadhouse burgers really do hit differently.
I have no idea why, but every couple of months, maybe even once a year, I have a weird craving that can only be satisfied by this scuffed microwave food
Same but my go to “Landshire Farm Double Cheeseburger” has been absolutely destroyed and idk if it’s ever coming back and everything else is genuinely awful but man..if you can try one of those do it.
lots of hot sauce and youre fine
Likewise. My craving is usually satisfied by a bowl of shockingly unhealthy macaroni and cheese and maybe some horrible frozen mashed potatoes with gelatinous gravy.
gas station food tho
@@the_realpapajohn you want the warm sausage rolls that are filled with pink meat.
"I wouldn't recommend cooking hash brown and sausage in the toaster unless you like electrical fires"
Cut to Barry Lewis
Flashbacks to the grilled cheese toaster
*laughs worryingly in baking my frozen hash brown*
@@eyeballpaul700 That device was designed by a madman
@@1973Washu And operated at 240 volts rather than the 120 volts it required........ :P
Was going to say just that.
Ashens, send one of these to Barry - he's an absolutely expert at electrical fires caused by dangerous application of toasters.
did anyone else notice that poor Barry's life went to shit when he teamed up with America's most hated pizza, Papa John's. That was a long time ago, he must have recovered some what since then.
Barry "User Error" Lewis is a master of burning houses down. That's probably why he had to move at least thrice >:P
Barry 'Doing things with toasters that should never be imagined, let alone attempted' Lewis. He's your man, Stuart. He's a nice bloke, who strikes me as the sort of person who would attempt to cook with a trouser press for a laugh.
@@brianartillery Top gear proved they were great for Naans!
@@RIXRADvidz How did Barry's life go to shit? Genuine question
Grey slabs of meat are occasionally present in American diners. However, those meat slabs tend to taste good, which I’m sure these meals aren’t emulating.
At least in the northeastern US, you'll frequently see expressly grey slabs of meat in diners in the form of scrapple. But as the name implies, we're not even trying to pretend what's in that.
@@nekobun scrapple has brought back memories of c-loaf, another wonderful loaf of “interesting” pig bits
Sounds like he hasn’t been to Denny’s
KFGSOM.
At least those diners usually have the good sense to drown their slabs of meat in gravy, or bread and fry it.
I've been craving a cheese burger all day. The look of his double cheese burger cured me of that.
Me too, although I only started a little while ago after we had just gotten McDonald’s and I’d ordered McNuggets
And now imagine actually eating it
To be honest, I went into this video not craving a cheeseburger, but after watching it I now crave one. Just not _that_ one.
@@Porkey_Minch all food videos gives me that feeling too.
I’d eat it but I’d put some hot sauce in it to mask the taste lol.
'I'm sure this is gonna be fine.'
A sure sign it's not going to be fine under any circumstances.
Life takes me in many directions. People come and go, hopes are kindled and dashed, nations rise and fall. And every once in a while I check back in on this channel, and... yep... he’s still reviewing food from Poundland on his sofa... f***ing hero.
Why do i love watching this british man consume things, anyone else i might not care but i can just watch ashens for hours
Having worked at a few disreputable jobs in my day, I can say without ego that I know who the target demographic is for these. It's the lower class wage slave: The person who only has at most fifteen minutes for lunch from the moment they clock out and lacks either the foresight, mental health, or loved ones to provide them with a packed lunch. These are purchased on-site, typically in the store or vending machine that stocks them, and can be purchased, prepared, and eaten within that scant fifteen minute window before returning to drudgery.
I resemble that. Although I get a luxurious 20 whole minutes to eat!
So kind thanks for your inspiring insights
i feel called out i wont lie lol
Or people who simply like shitty frozen food
We exist! All 11 of us
You ever played The Outer Worlds? I think you'd find a 'good' run of that incredibly cathartic.
"It's like mushed up goo through a sweaty sock" should be their slogan
One of the worst best things I have ever heard said by a person.
The sock you speak of, thats the pattented pig asshole and duckdick filtration system!
Thats used to remove all the pathogens and inpurities in the slime when you eat it.
I read an article they use that filtration system at hooters aparently to recycle the sock, pretty nnasty Im never eating there then.
Toaster fires are indeed bad. My parent's wedding gift toaster (from the 70's) crapped out on me in 2006, turning two pop-tarts into the perfect fire starter. Despite being clever and otherwise well put together, I stood there trying to blow the fire out for a few seconds before unplugging the toaster and picking it up - and very unceremoniously hurling it out my balcony. It's a good thing I lived on the first floor.
Any particular reason you put your faith in a 40 year old appliance?
@@Nighterlev thanks for explaining this to her. Not sure why that was so hard to grasp lol
@@emilyauld8622 We use a hoover from the 1980s. Works just as well as it did when I was a toddler (90s). I see no reason to get rid of something that still works, providing you give it maintenance.
@@Nighterlev I've not had to throw one out a window for combusting?
@@emilyauld8622 I had a 2 week old toaster do that recently.
Honestly as a heavily depressed 24 year old these actually don’t look too bad
ah it's the depression, was wondering why I thought these looked edible
lol
I’m depressed and would absolutely throw up from eating this garbage. I’m morbidly curious though.
As a sporadically depressed 31 year old I can say you don't need to be depressed to eat these. They are perfectly tasty at any point in time. All I eat is microwave food. It's not bad.
As a 21yo student, I don't mind microwavable food as long as I got plenty of sauce, it's better than having to cook on my own or pay more
"I think that will do it" is code for "I've reached peak sodium levels for today"
Or for the week
Then at 00:30 have another one.
Today, on this episode of: Ashens eats stuff from my high school cafeteria.
Today you win the internet my friend. That was funny!
@@richardadamson1438 The whole internet is mine!
@4th Chairman Free of charge, as always.
Stuart, have you tried the new Rustlers things that you cook in the box? I shit you not you just put the entire packaging in the microwave for two minutes. It's like a cardboard burger tray with a plastic bag and one of those crisper sleeve things, it comes out with really melted cheese and a crisp bun so it's maybe worth a shot
in the dollar tree stores they sell a jamaican patty ( looks like a small pasty) that you cook in the package in the microwave. the inner liner looks like plastic covering what looks like lead. but it works surprisingly well.
PS there are a lot of microwave 'foods' in the states that have 'crisping sleeves' and whatnot to improve the texture of the product, most notably hot pockets. but there are a few regional favorites like pizza puffs that a consumer can bake, microwave with the sleeve or deep fry.maybe I'll make a video sometime.
oh yeah they're on the tesco meal deal, it's a plesant change from a boring sandwich I dread to think of at what (health) cost though,
I was going to leave this very comment, bought one from Tesco on Friday out of curiosity, was surprised when the box expanded like a bag of microwave popcorn. Tried it and it was equal parts both soggy and desiccated by the "crisp sleeve" at the same time.
every time I watch ashens I feel like i'm a teenager again because the way the videos are shot has never changed since then
The grey slab depends on the diner, mostly. That said, typically it’s not pre-packaged or pre-prepared food. The allure of many diners is that they will prepare food a lot like you’d expect to have from home.
greasy and not very healthy for you but damn tasty
@@arrellmagister1849 does not quite do justice to the condition of the preparations for cooking the food; which will most likely be ladelling lard out of a bucket with [Home Depot] printed on the front, onto a griddle - but, does indeed describe the food, and rather concisely too!
@@warsaw1548
@@arrellmagister1849 True, but its still healthier then frozen food. Not by much. I will say at least diner food doesn't surpass your daily salt intake in a single burger.
Diners in America generally offer simple meals like sausage gravy on toast, chicken noodle soup or burgers, but it's all homemade. I've never seen anything like this faux sausage McMuffin in any diner in any state, let alone reheated frozen stuff.
I always wonder if Stuart's immune system has grown to super-human capabilities from eating so many foul excuses for food over the years.
He's following in Steve1989mre's illustrious footsteps.
I'm sure he gets the runs the next night or morning., The chemicals in these always make me literally shit liquid.
He’s got vulture-stomach by now
At first glance I read 'Stuart Immonen'. He's one of my favorite comic book artist, but what does he have to do with this? Anyways.. my bad.
I bet he usually eats quite healthy and gets back the good nutrients because remember he only eats this crap one day a week or fortnight usually. Think of your cheat days, same principle.
"You wouldn't see weird slabs of grey meat in an American Diner" Stu, it's rude to talk about the Waffle House wait staff like that.
Ironically, Waffle House food is really good.
made me blow my bong hit. LOL
I seriously doubt he’s actually SEEN the frozen breakfast food aisle of the average American grocery store. Wall to wall “grey slabs of meat”. 🤢
Umm, as an american, it's ALL you see in an American diner
@@OlEgSaS32 Lmao, i was gonna say...
*ashens nearly dying*
"This...cough...has to be the finest one"
I have just under £10 for food this month but if I look at that thumbnail I won't feel hungry.
Ashens has granted us the visual equivalent of Dwarf Bread.
I watch over the top dessert and ice cream videos to put me off sugar. it works, by the end of the video I never want to touch sweets or puddings ever again.
@@RIXRADvidz Think about the decorative icing of a wedding cake. That never fails to disgust me.
I mean if you want even more disturbing things watch the chicken in a can and the century egg. There was also the barshens jelly bar.
@@nat3007 He's trying to lose his appetite, not his lunch.
@@Porkey_Minch They made me lose my appetite the look of the barshens jelly drinks was very suitable for Halloween.
"This is bigger and cheaper"
The sing of quality
the sing, but definitely not the "sign"
@@xenalin1 They sing of quality, but you get these burgers.
No shit xen it is obvious that they made a mistake they don't need someone to correct a word you learn in kindergarten, but you keep it up maybe oneday you can correct bigger words
Oddly enough there's actually quite a few things like this in the US that are pretty good but some of them cost a good bit. If anything the ones I had that were bad were either the texture or they had too much spice. Salt's a huge issue in everything over here, even low salt veggies is still insanely high.
Yeah it's astonishing how much sodium is in food here in the USA, even stuff they market as a healthier food option.
@@Caldella It's either salt or sugar* here in the USA even when the dish shouldn't have either.
*sugar, substitute like corn syrup, or artificial sweetener.
If I were to guess, an embarrassing portion of sodium comes from the many, many preservatives found in processed food. I think.
Why would veggies have salt out of the package?!
@@lasarousi If you get 100% fresh raw veggies at the store, you should be fine, but stuff like canned veggies or ones included as part of a frozen quick meal... they tend to have more sodium than you'd think. And it's gross .
Can we all collectively pay respects to whatever animals went into the making of those meat patties?
It’s okay, they were all war criminals.
For all we know they could have used roadkill.
Oh they make it out of cow and pig….it’s just they use the assholes and nipples…
@4th Chairman …sorry m8… I traded suki in for a free meal at my local Chinese food place.
@@AwesomeSuaceable ah yes, suki-suki the traditional asian side dish. It goes well with tomatoes and rice.
There was an Ed's easy diner in chester and I went one time. Not only was the food shit and the staff literally yelling at each other. They kept somehow slipping in one spot next to the bins and dropping plates causing a load of smashing and metallic sounds literally every 2 or 3 minutes. It was borderline comical.
10/10 would go again 😂
Literally.
Thank you for bringing back the vomit intro!
I'm so tired, my brain read the title as "Ed, Edd and Eddy's Microwave Diner"
Tbh that's a lot more accurate.
Well, they look like something 3 kids would make
I don't know why they just don't include a huge packet of sauce or salsa or whatever so that it can cover up the bland meat. Surely it can't be that expensive?
It probably turns out that the sauce would be the expensive part of the food 😂
To be fair, wars and colonial conquests have been waged over control of spices...they're more expensive than you think...
My partner finds the noises Ashens makes every time he takes a bite to be hilarious. Now I'm hyper-aware of them.
"Ahhhm!"
Now I'm hearing it too, so thanks for that. >.
It's a inside joke from the first time he did it years and years ago he did it once then stopped and everyone asked him to continue
I think it's the noise one makes when they're trying very hard to not actually throw up...
@@devekut2 the person they are in a (usually romantic) partnership with
It's best when it's followed by a short pause and "...oh."
The lord has blessed us with an ashens videos today
Praise be
Just one
yw
There is a part of me that thinks Stuart is so desensitised to this kind of food he’s now just found a way to monetise lunch 😂
Im quite certain he wont be desensitized to something at least 40+ years old. Well not yet anyway
I feel like I've seen this comment before.
used to watch your videos atleast 8 years ago when I was 13 life hasn't got easier but your still going
you must have a decent enough quality of life, you still watch Ashens. that's a good thing. a plus One in your favour. Count that as an Up. yeah, innit.
I haven’t watched Ashens for 5 years and it’s still the same
"You wouldn't see weird slabs of grey meat in an American Diner" Yes, yes you do.
They usually call it a turkey burger.
It's usually dry and slimy at the same time. It smells of wet dog. It tastes like not much, but it has the texture of sand and meat at the same time.
Source: Worked at an american diner for 3 years.
What the hell kind of turkey burger is that lol
I make them at home and they're fine, they're not like that at all.
@@knottheory79220 I guess yours has actual turkey in it
Sounds about right for a turkey burger, which in the end is probably a lot less healthy for you than a normal burger.
is that an "American" Diner or a diner in america there is a difference
As an American Diner customer, generally Diner food is really good..... I doubt this was....
I've been to diners of varying quality in several states, but as someone who is into nostalgic Americana bullshit and collects dinerware (the nice thicc china they serve food on in most diners) I think the appeal of the traditional 24-hour diner is not that the food is good, but that it's there. If you want french fries and a milkshake at 4 a.m., if you need a cup of coffee at midnight, if, to paraphrase Bill Bryson, you just want to be around other people during the small hours of the morning...
@@riabouchinska american diners is like UKs " little chef " roadside resturants/cafes ,open all hours food is meh, expensive and prob have bad hygeiene standards but truckers go there
_"They also do a range of desserts and things... ... seems hard to mess those things, but you never know."_
Now, now, Stuart. You're starting to sound like your grandma. There's a very good chance those desserts are powerfully bad, so it's pretty much your duty to try them.
Actually Hash Browns cook great in the toaster. Been cooking frozen single ones for ages, great snack.
Your able to make it crispy an soft in the middle.
True, there are even products made for just that, but I'd wager the 'hash brown patties' Ashens was dealing with might even jam and overload a bagel toaster...
This makes me wonder what Ed’s gets out of this. Surely people don’t buy these and then think: now we must head to a restaurant to savour more yummy goodness! At least Pizza Express pizzas in stores (say) are pretty good.
I’m meeting with piedmont college’s gunsmith instructor today about taking the corse. I just want to say thank you all the laughs over years. These videos helped me get through some dark times
We need to figure out how to get ashens some Walmart-brand frozen food to taste test.
in the UK it's called ASDA , challenge him to an ASDA food off
just send them to his PO bo 😏😏😏
Oh God no! Even name brand items has an off taste to it! I NEVER shop at Walmart. I only suffer if I'm at a party and other people bought the Walmart food. And Luke I said, it's not just their great value brand, it's ALL brands at Walmart that taste like shit. It's like these companies know exactly where a certain food item is going as far as Walmart, Kroger and other stores and purposefully give Walmart their trash products. That's the only thing I can come up with as to why that is. Please someone, tell me I'm not wrong!
@@wintermoon7003 You're very wrong. You must have grown up wealthy and so far out of touch to even think something like the producer of name brands purposely sends bad products to Walmart.
Every day that a new ashens video comes out is a bloody good day lemme tell ya!!🥰
Oh no. Ashens has finally snapped and started eating a ton of horrific frozen foods
An excellent snap.
As opposed to eating a ton of horrific out of date food? Im actually not sure whats worse tbh.
Seeing a whole chicken in a can is still easily the worst I think
@@vali6717 were you here for the white fungus drink? I almost vomited.
Y'all are late to the Party. Nasty Food Tasting is the Ashens Thing. and poundland tat and subscription box dumps
Been following your channel for years love your content
What if Ashen's was a deeply closeted binge eater that loved all the food he reviewed..
We dont need another nickocado situation
@@greenhowie Seconded
Half of the stuff he reviews isn't actually that bad lol
You saying he secretly love the fat juicy slabs of meat the microwave delivers to him!
If so i want to know his exercise routine!
This is a certified hood classic
A sausage muffin that DOESNT come with cheese? Blasphemy.
or an egg sponge with plasti-cheez. Blasphemy indeed. there are better horrible frozen breakfast sandwiches available. I can atest as true having eaten too many of them way back in the Way Back Then Dayz
It isn't sausage, it isn't cheese, but it is at least a muffin.
10:28 🤣 I just read the “OUR PROMISE”.
Does anyone else get hungry watching this?
Nope! Do you?
@@korahall5540 yes these videos always make me hungry. I used to get hungry watching the all day breakfast video
Weirdly enough they make my mouth water, but i can imagine these arent the solution to my hunger.
Craving IKEA meatballs in that slop sauce
As a child from Africa, I'm always hungry.
For some reason I am awake and it is 4.12 AM at the moment
Perfect time to watch Ashens
Sometimes I wonder if Ashens even remembers what real food looks like. All these frozen-ass garbage burgers are gonna warp ya perspective at some point.
I mean... he already had years of a Poundland-based diet and he lived. He had a rotten Century Egg (a feat for the egg, it must be said) and he thrived. And then he went foraging for decades-expired delicacies and he´s here with us. I think he will make it.
Ashens’ has reached the god-tier of stomach strength: vulture-stomach
As a person who worked at a retail shop. I used to see a man come in and pick up 4 jars or Tesco value curry sauce. Turned out he worked in a takeaway and it was easier to use that rather then make one.
"Toast muffin for 1 second"
Well that's not going to be warm or crispy
"You could use that as an advertisement... for plates."
Introducing our new line of affordable plates, perfect for eating microwave """food""" off of!
Perfect upload time needed this thanks dude
"This looks bigger AND cheaper. What a world we live in!"
Little did he know, this was a foreboding testament to the quality of the ingredients.
I like how this was recommended to me a few days after I watched a video about "American" food in non-American countries. This would fit quite nicely in that video.
"Muffin toasted alright!"
*peels away to reveal pale white barely toasted muffin*
I have never seen a breakfast sandwich like this EVER served in a US diner… LOL!!!
You have to go to one in Iceland
not in a diner, but on the road you can drive-thru a McD get their Sausage McBlech and pile on one of their soggy potatoish patty for the same effect. nausea.
Yes more of a fast food thing. Although, I wouldn't know... I'm Canadian Eh!
@Patryk Karpinski It's not really made DIY that common, but people often buy them on the go
@Patryk Karpinski it's because sausage is seen as a breakfast thing, and fast food capitalizes on people not having time to make actual food. This especially applies to the morning, so some brilliant capitalist decided that breakfast sandwiches were the thing to do (a sandwich so it only took one hand to eat). What do you put on a breakfast sandwich? Some egg, maybe bacon, fuck it! sausage!, and then while we're at it, add cheese so it's like a normal sandwich. Or at least that's the most logical reason I felt to put together for a reply on RUclips.
strangely enough, as someone who grew up eating this kind of thing decently often, these videos make me weirdly hungry lol
Sometimes I make the mistake of throwing my food on the floor tbf. Thank you American diner bun, you’ve saved my breakfast!
Don't be like Andy Samberg!
3:11 "I can't taste anything"
I feel that on a different level. Lost both my sense of smell and taste the other day because of the plague.
I believe you were the target demographic of these products, back then.
Anyway, I hope you're better now/soon.
@@anousenic I'm off of work until the 11th. I'm lucky because I only got those two symptoms. Thank you for your kind words though.
@@MNNski May your sense of smell and taste return rather quickly.
@@Chaos89P Thank you. I hope it returns soon too. Beer is not the same when you can't taste it.
I see you've been a fan for a long ass time by looking at your past comments on ashens
I love this, I just saw this and went oh boy this one.
I’m really enjoying Ashens’s new microwave burger adventures
did i just do a 3 hour test that I ACTUALLY STUDIED FOR, did it in 1 hour and a few minutes, and decompress by watching a man with a gross old couch from my childhood, review gross food, ABSOLUTELY
I've been on Keto for almost 4 months. These things are making my mouth water
Haven't been to Keto for years. Is the chip shop still open?
From my experience the most cursed type of frozen sandwiches have to be tortillas, since apparently making the outside look vaguely like a pancake allows you to put absolutely repulsive contents inside. One shudders to imagine how a bootleg McWrap from these guys would look and taste like
well this is very timely, ive been watching your stuff for a few hours, i then eat a rustlers burger and suddenly... this video releases!
I once tried to replicate a sausage mcmuffin which was amazingly easy - pork mince and some spices is the patty and everything else is straight forward - muffin, fried egg, cheese slice. When I made it I even cooked & froze a bunch of patties because you could make about 6 with a 400g portion of pork mince. What surprised me on my trips to the US, is that "breakfast sausage" is sold this way because people are so frigging lazy.
Not lazy. Americans don’t have time to mess around making homemade sausage patties. Morning is a huge rush for most Americans and they’re lucky to get through a drive thru for coffee before being whisked off to their shite jobs.
2024 the rewatch of the best channel on youtube, Dr Ashens
A slice of cheese, a few pickled Jalapeño slices and some yellow mustard would no doubt do wonders for the muffin thingy….😉
@2:45 Hmm. Somehow I expected a dry "poff" as he bit in. 😅 Damn, that looks dry. 🤣
Ive somehow been reviewing Ashens reviewing microwave burgers for literally years and I still have no idea if he loves them or hates them.
He likes the BBQ rib one from that one brand.
Ever since watching this video and learning to toast the bun and not microwave the whole thing my life has completely changed. 🇺🇸🤝🇬🇧
"You wouldn't find gray slabs of meat in an American diner".
Literally played this video at full blast at a waffle house once because I ordered a steak and they gave me a gray slab of compressed wet sock.
Your first problem was ordering a steak at the WaHo. Stick to Bacon Egg & Cheese sammitches and hash browns scattered, smothered, and covered.
I've only had a Waffle House steak once, and I find it difficult to describe the texture and flavor. The texture and flavor were definitely *not* steak.
@@brownhues Their second problem was deciding to eat at a Waffle House.
I just ate one of these microwave burgers and instantly thought of ashens. They all taste the same more or less, just super salty to hide the fact that the meat don't taste like anything
Next episode: "The Revenge of Ed's Easy Microwave Diner"
1:07 Thwow him to the floor, centurion! Wait until Biggus Dickus hears about this!
Video idea: a taste test to see if you can tell the difference between the frozen Iceland greggs items and the same one bought from an actual greggs shop.
Microwaved burgers and sandwich videos are the best Ashens videos.
Well if this is anything like last time… Good luck Stu (even thought you’ve already recorded, edited and uploaded this and can’t hear me, but hey isn’t that true of every video?)
It certainly would be a feat if you watched a video that hadn't been uploaded, edited, or even recorded, and I would ask you for tomorrows lottery numbers, time wizard.
I forsee Ashens 'getting big and popular' to have a staff, and they'll inevitably edit and 'publish' his *last video*, likely found on a camera SIM card next to his corpse...
@@empath69 Honestly if it wound up going full “Old Ashens weird” like that, that would be pretty cool. Maybe it could then “loop back” to the first video and create a never ending cycle like that idea people have had for the Simpsons finale.
Ahh that intro will never get old love that your still reviewing tat on your brown sofa after all this time stuart. 👍
Ah finally a great eating video on RUclips for today. God Bless You Stuart, You Are A God Amongst Men.
Or this is the fastest way to meat him.
Ashens actually knowing how films be made made that fly joke like 1000x funnier.
2.40 am must be time for Ashens video 😂
12:00 "Mmm...Look at that, you could use that as an advert...for plates!" 🤣
Please do the ED's deserts it's only right as after eating all of those you need a sweet
"weird slabs of grey meat in America" Conagra has listened to that call, them and Sizzler's etc.
"it wont make you retch" - Ashens probably
That face at 6:30 totally caught me off-guard lol.
Iceland: the store, not the country.
Got so confused for a second there
The CHAIN of stores, like in POUNDLAND (another Stuart favorite).
Maybe someone should alert Larry Wolfe (The Wolfe Pit on YT) as he may like the place like he does Dollar Tree in The States.
The bottom? Forgetting the Microwavable Pizza are we?
Even the dog wouldn't touch it.
0:35 "You wouldn't see weird grey slabs of meat in an American diner" this seems like a very uneducated opinion.
I don't care how exquisite or how horrific food may look. As long as I know it'll taste good, it's going in my mouth.
What's with the face that flashes up for literally 0.2 of a second at around 6:27 ??
It's like how they do that thing with the face in the movie The Exorcist...
Thought I was hallucinating lol
If you look under "Related Channels" or w/e, you'll find that guy. Mintskee or something?
i love guessing if it's going to be a "hello" or a "bluargh" video before the intro plays
That double cheese burger looks exactly like the ones they served in my high school.
Mine too. I reckon they must have been harmful, given how they looked. That might explain why I now have to live as a ruminant.
As somebody who's waiting for surgery to open my mouth more than 2 centimeters, I can say that it's surprisingly therapeutic to see Ashens eat burgers and sandwiches that aren't very good.
I did used to live on these while I was lazy and broke but seriously, it takes absolutely no effort or money to, let's say, scramble some eggs or throw a couple sausages in the oven, and boom, you got a nice tasty meal with little to no more amount of effort and I guarantee it's more real and delicious than these radioactive waste burgers. Slap that between 2 slices of bread, and you get a better sandwich, all for the same price or sometimes even cheaper, I honestly feel sorry for the animal that was killed for this
Bold of you to assume any animal died for these things.
But how well does that last if you keep it in tupperware for half the day and microwave it for dinner because that's all the office kitchen has
What a lovely thing to wake up to. I shall now watch Stuart eat frozen burgers and maybe even get a little crazy and eat a different kind of frozen food from Ed.