Feasters will use Ashens quotes in their promotional materials for the sausage bap, like "you can tell there's something in there" and "it's not super-unpleasant".
For some reason ive been binge watching these videos and I literally cannot distinguish between a 9 year old video and a brand new one. Thankfully Ashens aged better than most of the food in his videos 😂
As soon as Stuart does a few more videos the Sofa will take over the World. Just needs some more food sacrifices and a few more bits of tat glue strings down the side and BOOM.
@@Prodawg I wouldn't say it is a brit thing, just certain buns thing. Personally I cannot stand buns like these and get different ones! Way too thick with way too much bread so you lose everything to the bread, and yeah, it being thick on one side is so unpleasant to eat! Thankfully it is very easy to avoid getting buns like these
We don't. It happened to Ashens once, loads of Americans lost their shit over it and jumped to the conclusion that that's how brits cut hotdog buns, and I suspect Ashens has decided to passive-aggressively carry on doing it because it annoys them so much. Hell, I think EVERYONE should start doing it 🤣
I have been watching you since around 2014 , so 10 years . i have seen every episode you have made up to this point, multiple times. The videos have gotten me though near death feeling hangovers, bad stretches of depression and has always comforted me and made me feel cozy. Here is to another 10 years. Please never stop making videos. I would cry.
I’ve heard the sofa follows( on little green legs removed from toy soldiers )whether he wants it or not…. 99.8% of the budget for his movies are spent removing his stalking sofa from shots.
@@TheInfamousCloaker- There is no sofa. It was junked years ago. This is filmed on a park bench with a green screen, just down the road from Dan Nerdcubed's gaff. The partially eaten burgers are given to the local beggars, mendiants, dossers, hobbledehoys, guttersnipes and other top gits, to keep them away. And to ensure Stuart's bones aren't harvested for Slepp. Fact.
Oh microwaved hotdogs. One of the things I never thought I would miss from going to grandmas after school. She's still alive and I am a grown, hairy arsed man, man. Just no one told me I'd have to watch her slowly lose her memories and herself. I hope she goes quietly without pain.
Dude.... I'm so sorry. Your grandmother loves you and is proud as hell of the positive person you are, and of the positive changes you have wrought in your community and family. If she is still with her, just spend time with her, even if it is in silence. Listen to music ffrom her era that she finds comforting, and record her telling stories, even if you know them by heart.
As someone who used to eat a lot of microwaved garbage and has now since moved away from it, these are my favorite episodes of yours! It's so funny to see you reactions. I can't imagine how somebody would enjoy these without taking every component and heating them separately in a toaster oven or stove top
The moistness of the buns can be reduced, if instead of placing the dish on the plate to microwave- You place it on a mesh/grill with feet that probably came with Your microwave. And thank You, this channel is a pillar of stability and continuity in this racing and confusing world. Please never change and continue what You're doing.
It doesn't LOOK terrible. Too be honest, these kinds of burgers and sandwiches are kind of a guilty pleasure of mine. I've made many an acceptably agreeable breakfast out of the odd microwave burger.
10:41 Who lives in the 99 pent section of Poundland? Spongedog Longpants! What tastes worse than Whole Chicken in a Can? Spongedog Longpants! If by-product tat is something you wish. Spongedog Longpants! You'll be hurling this up on your mum's serving dish! Spongedog Longpants, Spongedog Longpants, Spongedog Longpants, SPONGEDOG, LONGPAAAAAAAAAANNTTSSSSS!!!!!!!
Your presentation of the hot dog was 10/ 10. As soon as no instructions to toast the bun separately were given I was thinking, oh no, the poor sod has to eat it microwaved and sure enough, I was correct.
@@Egzindahouselol, that’s the thing with most of these terrible microwave meat amalgamations, there’s always at least one we like for no reason we know. I remember Ashen’s said he loved the flavor of those terrible barbecue rib sandwiches.
For me, the Aldi version of these is my fave, price measured against taste. They’re a godsend as a midnight snack after, erm, y’know, a few wobbly imbibements. Saved me a fortune on impulsive dirty takeaways.
That hot dog looks so much like the sort of thing they used to feed us at school years ago. One of those, some soggy chips and a spoonful of peas was a staple back then - God, it sounds like we were deprived of all joy by the local education authority's catering supplier...!
Well, it wasn't the suppliers fault. If what they sold wasn't what the school board wanted then the school board wouldn't have bought it. The fault is entirely on the education system, they have control over what the kids eat. They can literally buy any food they want from anywhere they want. And it's a mess of beurocratic money eating and "inclusive" bs that means anything anyone might be allergic to has to be taken off the menu so you're left with crap. Like that whole feed kids over summer bs water of money that has kids being give multiple bags of raisins, half a bell pepper, little plastic bags of salt and pepper that they paid a fortune to make by hand. The funniest one was my friend who has two kids, they gave her two halves of completely different bell peppers, one for each kid. Absolute joke
From my long experience working at call centres, the number 1 use case for this sort of thing is for when you've got a 30 minute lunch break and Tesco ready meals want a full 8 of those minutes in the microwave plus cooling time
Hotdogs marketed specifically as microwave hotdogs have always confused me. Bread rolls aren't expensive, and it's not like you can't do a normal hotdog in the microwave.
"Food education", as if it's hard to learn how to cook, with how many cookery programs are on TV now. Though there seems to be way more bakery shoes now, when i was a kid i remember just watching Ainsley harriots show ready steady cook. Doing that for a while is all you need really then just start looking up recipes and cooking from ingredients.
@@OrbObserverWell yeah I guess it's all in one package, as opposed to a seperate pack of hotdog sausages and buns. The only thing extra in terms of preparation though is having to slice the bun to put the sausage through. Not sure if that quantifies as 'double'. But hey, good for people who can't be trusted with sharp objects I guess.
I think this is what the hot dog man of the Discworld books CMOT Dibbler (short for his catchphrase “with prices like these, I’m cutting me own throat”) would sell if Ankh-Morpork progressed to modern times, specifically so he’d be able to sell microwaveable foods. It fits the description of “things that look like vaguely edible food that certainly aren’t, yet are cheap enough to seem like a great idea when you’re drunk” from the books.
More food! I started watching you, oh, something like 10 years ago, maybe more, and I watched pretty much all your food videos. Haven't watched you in a few years, came back to see this and be happily surprised you're still at it, but this is the only food video in the last year!
I love how the first feasters burger use "Add your own sauce" as an excuse for not adding a sauce packet in their container. Like they're adding some convenience to your life. 🤣
Funny, I just so happened to be eating microwave pancakes as I'm watching this. It's the first time I ever eat this microwave "ready" stuff, and I gotta say - it's also the last time.
I’m so happy about this. I fell off from watching Ashens for several years… Probably eight? Nine? It’s been a hot minute. No particular reason, just fell off for a bit. I start this video, and immediately, absolutely nothing has changed. Not the cheesy intro, not the classic shit-brown couch, not the POV camera angle of the object in question, and obviously, not the commentary. Not everything needs updating. Ashen‘s food reviews being one of them. Going back and binging the older ones now.
The food specials are always my favorite videos even across the pond. Call me a masochist but I've always been fascinated by these kinds of instant meals. In this case I may be mistaken, but I think Feasters are an American product or at least I think I've seen that packaging before, and a quick google shows their headquarters in South Carolina. Maybe the same company?
Back when I was young, had no income, had to eat whatever was bought for me, and wanted to eat just to fill a hole because I couldn't cook and wanted something quick and easy, I would eat these Rustler things. But you couldn't pay me to touch them nowadays! I admire Stuart for doing this as I never could!
@ShadowStarkiller ah see, for me it's not that I ate so many of them I became sick of them. It's the fact or what the "meat" consists of, how you prepare them, how they are stored, how cheap they are, just everything about the product. I could not touch stuff like that nowadays! I don't even eat hotdogs, sausages, or minced meat based products that much any more! Rustlers are definitely on the no go list haha
@@TheUltimateToad proper british food (casseroles, pies, braised and roasted meat, potatoes every way) is super similar to Southern American cuisine. We just also have a lot of scottish (fried foods) and caribbean and African influence. Crumpets are just biscuits there. Yorkshore Puds are popovers. same foods, different names. ~ The big difference ive come to realize is americans thnk British food looks bland because theres no artificial colourinmg allowed. Even our meat in grocery stores is dyed bright red like a cartoon, so when an American sees a beautiful dark purple ribeye we think something is wrong with it. British cuisine is comforting and delicious.
Split along the top is better. You can load it up with toppings without it spilling out like it would from a side cut. I guess you could just rotate the side cut 90° but then it's the same as the top cut
You really don't have to cut the bun in half. Butter the insides and toast it face down in a pan. We have what are called "New England" rolls in the northeast US that are flat on each side, which make it easy to toast them. Pre-packaged meat on buns never seems to be worth the price, no matter how cheap.
They should come with sauce in the package. Presumably, you are buying this for the convenience, which means you're probably taking this to the office or something.
Southeast U.S. here. I learned from black classmates and eventually co-workers to put jam or jelly on a breakfast sausage sandwich. Strawberry preservers is very nice.
Fun fact, when @ashens say’s “grilling” he means what Americans call “broiling” in the oven using the heating element at the top. In colloquial American English “grilling” generally means barbecuing.
I’m not gonna lie those things “looked” good. For less than a dollar, you add a slice of cheese, relish, ketchup, mustard, and onions I bet that would enhance it greatly.
@@bewilderbeestie I am ususally quite chill in regards to food processing but that they can still call that """""beef"""" is kinda worrying, that is a bit of beef, then fat, soy and a whole lotta magic
I wish that this would become a regular series. Ashens is my English DancingBacons. I literally don't watch any other Ashens videos but his food videos. It wouldn't have to be only microwave food but it could be like ready heat meals and cooking pakages (whole meals with simple ingredients that come in a box and you cook, they usually take less than 15 minutes) or maybe we could get Ashens reviewing his local kebab shop with the sofa in the background
11:32 as a kid who's my grandma kept these kinds of easy microwave meals around as I was afraid of her stove I know the 3 stages of microwave bread grief TOO well 😂😂
I think Ashens kind of hit the nail on the head with that one; if you're super broke you are better served by like a bag of potatoes, rice, or pasta-and if you've the extra 50 cents to spare on even slightly better quick food, then those are probably the way to go.
Ashens - and anyone else who might have an interest in making these A LOT better with VERY little effort (except for like 30-45 min once every few months), here is what I used to do when I was single: 1: Once ever few months I bought a large bag of onions (usually 5kg) and a large bottle of cheap vinegar and a bag of sugar. The amount of sugar should be regulated to taste. I did 1 liter of vinegar, 1 liter of water, 1 kg of sugar. if you want a sweeter pickle add more sugar - and less if you want it less sweet. The 1/1/1 ration seemed to fit what I was going for. Take a large pot, peel all the onions, chop them into pieces of your choice (I used a cheap food processor and just roughly chopped it in that) and put them in the pot. Pour in the vinegar, pour in the sugar, add a good amount of pepper (to taste) and about a ½ teaspoon of salt pr. kg of onions. Add an equal amount of water to the vinegar you are using. If you want it REALLY sour - ignore the water. I did that on my first go... lost several pairs of underpants while consuming that batch. Bring the whole thing to a boil while lightly stirring it so it doesn't stick to the bottom. Let it boil for 2 minutes (less if you want more bite, more if you want them softer) Move it off the stove and let it cool down to room temp. Now put it in portions into freezer bags. Have 1 good container (like one of those Ikea food containers with the blue seal) to use for "fridge storage" - and make the portions to about the size which will fit in the container. Freeze the bags, leave a full container in the fridge for use. It will stay good for weeks - at least! Now you have months of "condiments" for these kinds of burgers and hotdogs (and wraps and what not). Get a cheap airfryer - preferably one of those with a oven door. You can also use a toaster oven, but an airfryer is faster. Put the patty on a small pan - or just a piece of tin foil with crumbled edges. Add a small amount of butter + salt and pepper to taste on top. put on the top shelf in the oven/airfryer. Put the buns bellow in the oven. Took about 4 min to make in the airfryer I had at 200C from cold - might wary in another oven. At this point add cheese to the patty if you want cheese in it - Some of them have a slice in them, however any slice of cheese will work really. Build: Bottom bun, a spoon full of the pickled onions with a small dollop of mustard mixed in (to preference. The cheap yellow mustard works fine), the patty, and then the top bun with a layer of mayo to taste. If you are a ketchup fiend you can add that - however with the pickles it really doesn't need it. It seems a lot more involved that just nuking it - however it REALLY doesn't take more than a few min more to do when you have the hang of it - and it takes it from "edible" - to actually being good! - ALSO - if you are making more than 1 it might actually be faster than the microwave oven 😀In any case - it is TOTALLY worth the tiny bit of extra effort and cost almost nothing to make.
@@shaunsmith1825 Ok - well yes it sounds like you should just stick with a bottle of Heinz to upgrade your food m8! Here is a guide just for you: 1: Buy Heinz Ketchup 2: Remove the white plastic lid 3: Remove the piece of material blocking the hole. 4: Put the lid back on. (This is the point where you make the burger in the microwave oven) 5: Squeeze some ketchup out on a plate to avoid downing the burger in ketchup when you inevitably gorilla grip the bottle too hard. 6: dip the burger in the ketchup. 7: bite the burger 8: Chew for 20 seconds 9: Swallow Hope this helps!
Toasting the bun is one of those moves people think is smart but isn't, you just microwave the bun separately for a really short time just until it's soft and warm.
probably a British thing. Whenever I have this sort of thing, I wrap the bun in a paper towel and nuke it for a few seconds. the paper towel catches the moisture (if it's any good anyway), and I get the best you could probably make from a microwaved bun, usually.
I can't believe you don't like soft hot dog buns. Toasting a hot dog bun is the craziest thing I've heard you say and I've heard you offer bones to slepp and talking about Antonio Stella bottom tile. If I got a hot dog and the bun wasn't spongy and damp I'd be disappointed.
I like how on the packaging there is an image of someone BMXing/playing tennis/kayaking, as if to suggest that these burgers are either healthy or commonly eaten in the sporting community. Or a good grab snack to take on the court or whilst rafting down the rivers.
Nothing beats a classic Ashens food special ❤
Unless of course you have the disease where you can't stand the sound of human mastication
😢
@@samholdsworth420I also hate listening to human masterbation. Turtles are fine tho.
There is one thing that beats it. A classic Ashens horribly expired food special.
agreed!
@@forteandblues clunk clunk clunk
Feasters will use Ashens quotes in their promotional materials for the sausage bap, like "you can tell there's something in there" and "it's not super-unpleasant".
and "technically a burger"
don't forget "It's got that...Going on"
"That is definitely a... one of those"
"These exist and can be eaten."
Add your own sauce is a great way of making 'we aren't giving you any sauce' sound like an upgrade
Remember when companies tried to establish "bring your own device" as a great benefit for their employees?
@@MetalheadAndNerd YES
Honestly, as low quality as these things tend to be, maybe it IS to your benefit lmao
Add your own sauce. Even if you don’t want any.
ADD YOUR OWN SAUCE.
For some reason ive been binge watching these videos and I literally cannot distinguish between a 9 year old video and a brand new one.
Thankfully Ashens aged better than most of the food in his videos 😂
You can tell because he has hair in the old ones and he's bald now
@@manjackson2772 I don't remember his hands being hairy.
The food probably would age fine, considering all the preservatives.
Timelessness embodied
As soon as Stuart does a few more videos the Sofa will take over the World. Just needs some more food sacrifices and a few more bits of tat glue strings down the side and BOOM.
Ah, Ashens once again showing his enlightened hotdog technique.
Why do brits cut the buns this way?
@@Prodawg I have found those buns in America and you can put condiments on it I got some and they make good buns for chili dogs
@@Prodawg I wouldn't say it is a brit thing, just certain buns thing. Personally I cannot stand buns like these and get different ones! Way too thick with way too much bread so you lose everything to the bread, and yeah, it being thick on one side is so unpleasant to eat! Thankfully it is very easy to avoid getting buns like these
@Prodawg they don't, he's just trolling. I find it funny.
We don't.
It happened to Ashens once, loads of Americans lost their shit over it and jumped to the conclusion that that's how brits cut hotdog buns, and I suspect Ashens has decided to passive-aggressively carry on doing it because it annoys them so much.
Hell, I think EVERYONE should start doing it 🤣
I have been watching you since around 2014 , so 10 years . i have seen every episode you have made up to this point, multiple times. The videos have gotten me though near death feeling hangovers, bad stretches of depression and has always comforted me and made me feel cozy. Here is to another 10 years. Please never stop making videos. I would cry.
As an ASDA employee i see feasters come through the tills quite often, i shall now forever think of Ashens everytime i see one.
i am questioning why you see them so often
but again, people dont really have anything else to eat
As an ASDA employee, how's life?
Cant complain at something priced at 90p these days! @@alexia3729
@@Lino1259 Christmas hours started today, being on front end is tiring af
Festers: _"Technically A Burger!"_
Holiday rush is almost over, hang in there
"I put the ketchup and mustard on, or the Sektor and Cyrax if you prefer" I died laughing
Wow, Ashens is really dedicated to travel all the way from Dan's place in [REDACTED] to Norwich and back just for some microwave burgers
Bold of you to assume that he doesn't just bring the sofa along with him
*Good.*
I’ve heard the sofa follows( on little green legs removed from toy soldiers )whether he wants it or not…. 99.8% of the budget for his movies are spent removing his stalking sofa from shots.
@@TheInfamousCloaker- There is no sofa. It was junked years ago. This is filmed on a park bench with a green screen, just down the road from Dan Nerdcubed's gaff. The partially eaten burgers are given to the local beggars, mendiants, dossers, hobbledehoys, guttersnipes and other top gits, to keep them away. And to ensure Stuart's bones aren't harvested for Slepp. Fact.
@@stealthtecify I now have an image of Stuart yelling frantically at the sofa: "Get thee behind me, upholstered spawn of Satan!"
Oh microwaved hotdogs. One of the things I never thought I would miss from going to grandmas after school. She's still alive and I am a grown, hairy arsed man, man. Just no one told me I'd have to watch her slowly lose her memories and herself. I hope she goes quietly without pain.
Reminds me of when I talk to my mom and the conversation somehow always comes back to her personal life
That's horrible man my sympathys my grandma had the same with dementia I was her carer for years so I've been there it's horrible
Dude.... I'm so sorry. Your grandmother loves you and is proud as hell of the positive person you are, and of the positive changes you have wrought in your community and family. If she is still with her, just spend time with her, even if it is in silence. Listen to music ffrom her era that she finds comforting, and record her telling stories, even if you know them by heart.
Well THAT escalated quickly
Feed her a hunger breaks tin
I mean for 90p it's definitely a better option than rustlers which used to be cheapish and are now basically as much as a proper sandwich
Rustlers tend to go up and down in price. Like recently you can get the big cheese for 99p from farmfoods which is about what they're worth.
I used to love eating rustlers for a quick lunch.. I genuinely enjoyed the taste
How dare u imply all rustlers are the same, sir? Were you born in a barn?
@@xdasdaasdasd4787 how can you have such little respect for your body lol
The rustlers sauce was nice kinda like Big Mac sauce !!
As someone who used to eat a lot of microwaved garbage and has now since moved away from it, these are my favorite episodes of yours! It's so funny to see you reactions. I can't imagine how somebody would enjoy these without taking every component and heating them separately in a toaster oven or stove top
I chuck the whole thing in the microwave... 😂
"more beige than a 90's PC" 😂😂
The moistness of the buns can be reduced, if instead of placing the dish on the plate to microwave- You place it on a mesh/grill with feet that probably came with Your microwave. And thank You, this channel is a pillar of stability and continuity in this racing and confusing world. Please never change and continue what You're doing.
A few sad onions would go well with those burgers...
0-3 preferably
All me mates love onion
Bro. I blow on my screen thinking there was dust. It's your bloody couch!😂
Don't throw shade at the sofa. It's the next stage of Life.
It isn’t Christmas until I’ve had a whisky, smoked a cigar and watched an Ashens food review.
It doesn't LOOK terrible. Too be honest, these kinds of burgers and sandwiches are kind of a guilty pleasure of mine. I've made many an acceptably agreeable breakfast out of the odd microwave burger.
Honestly the white castle microwavable burgers are pretty good for what they are
10:41 Who lives in the 99 pent section of Poundland? Spongedog Longpants! What tastes worse than Whole Chicken in a Can? Spongedog Longpants! If by-product tat is something you wish. Spongedog Longpants! You'll be hurling this up on your mum's serving dish! Spongedog Longpants, Spongedog Longpants, Spongedog Longpants, SPONGEDOG, LONGPAAAAAAAAAANNTTSSSSS!!!!!!!
I’ve had these before, the cheapest Feasters (yellow packaging) are disgusting but the more expensive ones (red packaging) are actually very nice.
Sexual dimorphism in ready to eat burgers?
@@comradeurod9805you’re speaking factually respect 🫡
@@comradeurod9805the female ones come with edible glitter
At least that cow fulfilled it's lifelong dream of becoming an underwhelming 90p burger on RUclips.
Still eating like the Luftwaffe is flying over the channel.
Sponge dog long pants actually made me laugh. What a thing to explain to my mom who was nearby.
Your presentation of the hot dog was 10/ 10. As soon as no instructions to toast the bun separately were given I was thinking, oh no, the poor sod has to eat it microwaved and sure enough, I was correct.
If I’m honest, and this is a safe, judgement-free space … I really enjoy these microwave hot dogs. Soggy microwaved bun and all.
@@Egzindahouselol, that’s the thing with most of these terrible microwave meat amalgamations, there’s always at least one we like for no reason we know. I remember Ashen’s said he loved the flavor of those terrible barbecue rib sandwiches.
For me, the Aldi version of these is my fave, price measured against taste. They’re a godsend as a midnight snack after, erm, y’know, a few wobbly imbibements. Saved me a fortune on impulsive dirty takeaways.
The food videos were my favorites back when I found this channel ~10 years ago when I was a child, nice to see you still post
Feasters is just the brand name Asda uses instead of rustlers for its microwave burgers. They're exactly the same
They are available in Lidl as well.
Apparently they’re both owned by the same company, so not an Asda-only thing.
"More beige than a 90s PC" is such a great description LOL xD
Stuart is eating food that hasn't expired, I'm impressed
Only Ashens could have me enthusiastic about looking at Feasters
ashens scran munching videos are what keeps me alive
It's my first weekend to sit around doing nothing after working a bunch of weekends in a row. A new Ashens video is exactly what I needed today.
Cool story bro
bro get a different job youre literally a slave
The soggy Hot Dog bread bapped Ashens to the stomach pump
"Spongedog Longpants" is not a phrase I ever expected to hear.
That hot dog looks so much like the sort of thing they used to feed us at school years ago. One of those, some soggy chips and a spoonful of peas was a staple back then - God, it sounds like we were deprived of all joy by the local education authority's catering supplier...!
Need to cultivate that English stiff upper lip somehow in the modern day.😅
@@staystop1028 English?! How very dare you! I'm Scottish 😆
Well, it wasn't the suppliers fault. If what they sold wasn't what the school board wanted then the school board wouldn't have bought it.
The fault is entirely on the education system, they have control over what the kids eat. They can literally buy any food they want from anywhere they want.
And it's a mess of beurocratic money eating and "inclusive" bs that means anything anyone might be allergic to has to be taken off the menu so you're left with crap.
Like that whole feed kids over summer bs water of money that has kids being give multiple bags of raisins, half a bell pepper, little plastic bags of salt and pepper that they paid a fortune to make by hand.
The funniest one was my friend who has two kids, they gave her two halves of completely different bell peppers, one for each kid.
Absolute joke
From my long experience working at call centres, the number 1 use case for this sort of thing is for when you've got a 30 minute lunch break and Tesco ready meals want a full 8 of those minutes in the microwave plus cooling time
Preach it!
Hotdogs marketed specifically as microwave hotdogs have always confused me. Bread rolls aren't expensive, and it's not like you can't do a normal hotdog in the microwave.
I feel like you're overestimating food education in the UK. XD
I was in my twenties when I learned that! I also have a degree, lmao.
"Food education", as if it's hard to learn how to cook, with how many cookery programs are on TV now. Though there seems to be way more bakery shoes now, when i was a kid i remember just watching Ainsley harriots show ready steady cook. Doing that for a while is all you need really then just start looking up recipes and cooking from ingredients.
That would require buying and preparing two different things, which is double the work of only buying one thing.
@@OrbObserverWell yeah I guess it's all in one package, as opposed to a seperate pack of hotdog sausages and buns. The only thing extra in terms of preparation though is having to slice the bun to put the sausage through. Not sure if that quantifies as 'double'. But hey, good for people who can't be trusted with sharp objects I guess.
That hotdog sounded absolutely vile by your chewing noises alone.
I think this is what the hot dog man of the Discworld books CMOT Dibbler (short for his catchphrase “with prices like these, I’m cutting me own throat”) would sell if Ankh-Morpork progressed to modern times, specifically so he’d be able to sell microwaveable foods. It fits the description of “things that look like vaguely edible food that certainly aren’t, yet are cheap enough to seem like a great idea when you’re drunk” from the books.
Sausage on a stick. (Definitely not rat).
Wouldn't want to spend a cold and rainy day watching anything else!! Long live the microwave
More food! I started watching you, oh, something like 10 years ago, maybe more, and I watched pretty much all your food videos. Haven't watched you in a few years, came back to see this and be happily surprised you're still at it, but this is the only food video in the last year!
I loved the oddly placed Mortal Kombat 3 reference there. I will never see tomato sauce and mustard the same way again.
Please describe your last bowl movement, including the length, girth, moisture, and the required pressure to squeeze it out.
@@MrTrolololol101 No.
Crazy how you could make both an advent video with Dan and this on the same day. Crazy.
they might of film,d one r the other r both weeks ago .
God some people are gullible
Totally cra cra
Surely you know Ashens has access to secret Alien time travelling technology that he once found in a skip?
It's the only feasible explanation.
He used an train. He travels daily, this was his tea
I love how the first feasters burger use "Add your own sauce" as an excuse for not adding a sauce packet in their container. Like they're adding some convenience to your life. 🤣
Holy fuck my finger is broken from hammering the thumbnail at lightspeed when this appeared in my recommended
A minute forty is an insanely long time to microwave a hot dog. Like dog alone for 30 seconds, then the bun for 10, that's it.
Fondest memories of sitting in the kitchen eating a bowl of rice crispys and toast watching ashens ...that was 2014 !
Always love an Ashens upload. Especially food reviews 👌
0:02 Ashens intro vomit version 😂😂😂😂
Funny, I just so happened to be eating microwave pancakes as I'm watching this.
It's the first time I ever eat this microwave "ready" stuff, and I gotta say - it's also the last time.
I can believe that.
I don't use an oven, just a microwave. In my experience some foods should never be allowed near a microwave.
Yo me too? Except I ate them without microwaving them lol
I’m so happy about this. I fell off from watching Ashens for several years… Probably eight? Nine? It’s been a hot minute. No particular reason, just fell off for a bit.
I start this video, and immediately, absolutely nothing has changed. Not the cheesy intro, not the classic shit-brown couch, not the POV camera angle of the object in question, and obviously, not the commentary.
Not everything needs updating. Ashen‘s food reviews being one of them. Going back and binging the older ones now.
The food specials are always my favorite videos even across the pond. Call me a masochist but I've always been fascinated by these kinds of instant meals.
In this case I may be mistaken, but I think Feasters are an American product or at least I think I've seen that packaging before, and a quick google shows their headquarters in South Carolina. Maybe the same company?
Everytime I see a hotdog I think of what happened before with the bun lol, still funny to this day to me lol
Back when I was young, had no income, had to eat whatever was bought for me, and wanted to eat just to fill a hole because I couldn't cook and wanted something quick and easy, I would eat these Rustler things. But you couldn't pay me to touch them nowadays! I admire Stuart for doing this as I never could!
Sounds like me and Hot Pockets. I had far too many in college and now I can't stand the damn things.
@ShadowStarkiller ah see, for me it's not that I ate so many of them I became sick of them. It's the fact or what the "meat" consists of, how you prepare them, how they are stored, how cheap they are, just everything about the product. I could not touch stuff like that nowadays! I don't even eat hotdogs, sausages, or minced meat based products that much any more! Rustlers are definitely on the no go list haha
After all these years, he still says “om” when he takes a bite
It's priceless, just like him.
ashens: it's burger time!
me, with a burger on the table: it sure is, you're right!!
I’m here for the Lin kuei cyborg references
Nothing will beat the *chicken in a can* episode.
That thing was scarier then seeing Theresa May dancing.
It wouldn't be scarier than seeing Theresa May come out of a can though.
@@user-os7ec4dm8xor the chicken coming out of Theresa May's can
These videos have a nostalgic feel to them at this point, thanks bro
FYI Bread does go well in a microwave, just not for as long as they say! For that hotdog bun about 10 seconds would do it.
My favorite, ashens microwave burger reviews! Also, the subtitles are messed up, it's delayed.
The subtitles are actually 5 to 10 seconds in the future. Weird.
That MK3 Sector and Cyrax reference HIT
Hey great timing! I just had my first rustler's cheeseburger! I'm an American expat in the UK, so I feel even more accepted now.
Oh. Prepare the toilet roll and make sure the flush works.
Are you proud of our culinary delights?
get the bbq rib steak and have a spring clean
@@whitetroutchannel Oh god. Yeah that's a bad one. So tasty, but oh so bad.
@@TheUltimateToad proper british food (casseroles, pies, braised and roasted meat, potatoes every way) is super similar to Southern American cuisine. We just also have a lot of scottish (fried foods) and caribbean and African influence. Crumpets are just biscuits there. Yorkshore Puds are popovers. same foods, different names. ~
The big difference ive come to realize is americans thnk British food looks bland because theres no artificial colourinmg allowed.
Even our meat in grocery stores is dyed bright red like a cartoon, so when an American sees a beautiful dark purple ribeye we think something is wrong with it.
British cuisine is comforting and delicious.
The food videos that Ashens make are so fun to watch!
If you flip the roll 180 degrees after microwaving it helps avoid the base getting too damp👍
been going through your whole playlist. love these food specials.
Eating homemade smash burgers to this. I feel blessed.
i love ur food vids man this makes me happy to see
I always get a chuckle out of the hot dog buns being split along the top instead of the side.
That really threw me, I've been living in the U.S. for a while now and seeing the hot dog bun cut like that was just wild.
Split along the top is better. You can load it up with toppings without it spilling out like it would from a side cut. I guess you could just rotate the side cut 90° but then it's the same as the top cut
@pol_420 nerd talking about 90 degrees and actually using the symbol go play with a calculator
@@z0r036sarcasm lost on you
@@z0r036 Aww, poor baby doesn't know how to type unicode characters.
Finally the content I subbed for!
You really don't have to cut the bun in half. Butter the insides and toast it face down in a pan. We have what are called "New England" rolls in the northeast US that are flat on each side, which make it easy to toast them. Pre-packaged meat on buns never seems to be worth the price, no matter how cheap.
Butter it? Get a pan? For a microwave burger? Dafuq are you on about
@@blahmcblahface3965 Do you not sauté your cheap microwave burgers? Jk 😂🤣
It's called making the best out of crap food.@@blahmcblahface3965
Theres no way those stiff a$$ hot dog buns would survive being unfolded, they'd just break in two if you tried that.
i feel like cutting a hotdog bun that way should be considered an act of war
I missed the Ashens food videos. Some of the older ones are legendary
I miss the loot crates with the FUCKING INFLATABLE FUCKING CROWN
@@Joeharden92why the swearing.... desperation
@@mikeuk666 The swears are in Stuart's recurring angry description for the crowns.
Is anyone else more impressed by the actual plates ?
I like the plates
That's got to be the most British-looking burger I've ever seen
They should come with sauce in the package. Presumably, you are buying this for the convenience, which means you're probably taking this to the office or something.
Please please Please! Don't Ever call a Hot DoG a "Mummy's finger" Again 😨😂😨
Admit it made you chuckle! 🧟♀️💔🌭
I've been eating microwave burgers for lunch all week. I got how to cook them down to a science. But they all taste like a microwave burger. 🤠
Southeast U.S. here. I learned from black classmates and eventually co-workers to put jam or jelly on a breakfast sausage sandwich. Strawberry preservers is very nice.
I might be weird but i love a steamed soggy hotdog bun 😂
I just realized I've been staring at this couch for the past... what, 14 years now? I almost feel like I grew up on it.
Cheers!
Fun fact, when @ashens say’s “grilling” he means what Americans call “broiling” in the oven using the heating element at the top. In colloquial American English “grilling” generally means barbecuing.
“Sauce Delivery System” ™️ ©️ Ashens 2023
I’m not gonna lie those things “looked” good. For less than a dollar, you add a slice of cheese, relish, ketchup, mustard, and onions I bet that would enhance it greatly.
Not putting the meat in would improve it even more!
Yooo the SNES repair guy !!!
@@spaceinvader7047 hello. 👋
Pimp it with scallions
@@bewilderbeestie I am ususally quite chill in regards to food processing but that they can still call that """""beef"""" is kinda worrying, that is a bit of beef, then fat, soy and a whole lotta magic
I wish that this would become a regular series.
Ashens is my English DancingBacons.
I literally don't watch any other Ashens videos but his food videos.
It wouldn't have to be only microwave food but it could be like ready heat meals and cooking pakages (whole meals with simple ingredients that come in a box and you cook, they usually take less than 15 minutes) or maybe we could get Ashens reviewing his local kebab shop with the sofa in the background
11:32 as a kid who's my grandma kept these kinds of easy microwave meals around as I was afraid of her stove I know the 3 stages of microwave bread grief TOO well 😂😂
I think Ashens kind of hit the nail on the head with that one; if you're super broke you are better served by like a bag of potatoes, rice, or pasta-and if you've the extra 50 cents to spare on even slightly better quick food, then those are probably the way to go.
17 seconds in and i can tell im going to like this channel
Ashens - and anyone else who might have an interest in making these A LOT better with VERY little effort (except for like 30-45 min once every few months), here is what I used to do when I was single:
1: Once ever few months I bought a large bag of onions (usually 5kg) and a large bottle of cheap vinegar and a bag of sugar. The amount of sugar should be regulated to taste. I did 1 liter of vinegar, 1 liter of water, 1 kg of sugar. if you want a sweeter pickle add more sugar - and less if you want it less sweet. The 1/1/1 ration seemed to fit what I was going for.
Take a large pot, peel all the onions, chop them into pieces of your choice (I used a cheap food processor and just roughly chopped it in that) and put them in the pot. Pour in the vinegar, pour in the sugar, add a good amount of pepper (to taste) and about a ½ teaspoon of salt pr. kg of onions. Add an equal amount of water to the vinegar you are using. If you want it REALLY sour - ignore the water. I did that on my first go... lost several pairs of underpants while consuming that batch.
Bring the whole thing to a boil while lightly stirring it so it doesn't stick to the bottom. Let it boil for 2 minutes (less if you want more bite, more if you want them softer)
Move it off the stove and let it cool down to room temp.
Now put it in portions into freezer bags. Have 1 good container (like one of those Ikea food containers with the blue seal) to use for "fridge storage" - and make the portions to about the size which will fit in the container. Freeze the bags, leave a full container in the fridge for use. It will stay good for weeks - at least! Now you have months of "condiments" for these kinds of burgers and hotdogs (and wraps and what not).
Get a cheap airfryer - preferably one of those with a oven door. You can also use a toaster oven, but an airfryer is faster.
Put the patty on a small pan - or just a piece of tin foil with crumbled edges. Add a small amount of butter + salt and pepper to taste on top. put on the top shelf in the oven/airfryer.
Put the buns bellow in the oven.
Took about 4 min to make in the airfryer I had at 200C from cold - might wary in another oven.
At this point add cheese to the patty if you want cheese in it - Some of them have a slice in them, however any slice of cheese will work really.
Build: Bottom bun, a spoon full of the pickled onions with a small dollop of mustard mixed in (to preference. The cheap yellow mustard works fine), the patty, and then the top bun with a layer of mayo to taste. If you are a ketchup fiend you can add that - however with the pickles it really doesn't need it.
It seems a lot more involved that just nuking it - however it REALLY doesn't take more than a few min more to do when you have the hang of it - and it takes it from "edible" - to actually being good! - ALSO - if you are making more than 1 it might actually be faster than the microwave oven 😀In any case - it is TOTALLY worth the tiny bit of extra effort and cost almost nothing to make.
I'm not a flipping chef!
@@shaunsmith1825 Ok - well yes it sounds like you should just stick with a bottle of Heinz to upgrade your food m8!
Here is a guide just for you:
1: Buy Heinz Ketchup
2: Remove the white plastic lid
3: Remove the piece of material blocking the hole.
4: Put the lid back on.
(This is the point where you make the burger in the microwave oven)
5: Squeeze some ketchup out on a plate to avoid downing the burger in ketchup when you inevitably gorilla grip the bottle too hard.
6: dip the burger in the ketchup.
7: bite the burger
8: Chew for 20 seconds
9: Swallow
Hope this helps!
“How would you like your burger cooked?” “The colour of a Commodore 64 please.”
Well, at least it’s better than the 20-year-old cake
"The Sektor and the Cyrax" 😂😂😂 day made. Thank you Ashens
Toasting the bun is one of those moves people think is smart but isn't, you just microwave the bun separately for a really short time just until it's soft and warm.
Agreed. But, I guess, some people like their burger bun have texture of a toast, for some reason?
probably a British thing.
Whenever I have this sort of thing, I wrap the bun in a paper towel and nuke it for a few seconds. the paper towel catches the moisture (if it's any good anyway), and I get the best you could probably make from a microwaved bun, usually.
that opening burger, just...wow. even the frozen burgers we get here on occasion have some flavor of their own. They even include cheese too
That Spongedog Longpants joke was excellent. Can't say that for the food though.
These videos are so addicting.
I can't believe you don't like soft hot dog buns. Toasting a hot dog bun is the craziest thing I've heard you say and I've heard you offer bones to slepp and talking about Antonio Stella bottom tile. If I got a hot dog and the bun wasn't spongy and damp I'd be disappointed.
You are my childhood hero. I've been watching your since you started making these videos ❤️
Christmas must have come early! An Ashens’ upload
I like how on the packaging there is an image of someone BMXing/playing tennis/kayaking, as if to suggest that these burgers are either healthy or commonly eaten in the sporting community. Or a good grab snack to take on the court or whilst rafting down the rivers.
"Or the Sektor and Cyrax is you prefer"
An unexpected, yet welcome crossover :D