How to Use Thermonuclear Weapons to Defend Against Home Invasion

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  • Опубликовано: 9 июн 2022
  • Instagram: / bosnianapesociety
    Many people have experienced the annoyance of home invasion by unidentified entities of Balkan origin during the night time. In this tutorial, we will explain how to effectively counter this common everyday displeasure.
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Комментарии • 2,9 тыс.

  • @sydriax
    @sydriax Год назад +17259

    Dear Bosnian Ape Society,
    The yield you report from a 20,000kg compressed block of Uranium is rather low, at only about 226GJ or 54.01 tons of TNT. This suggests that prompt criticality has only barely been achieved, causing what is effectively a fizzle, rather than the significantly supercritical explosions which are a feature of most effective nuclear weapons.
    I would like to suggest some small improvements to the helpful instructions you have already laid out, which if properly applied should significantly increase yields to a level more appropriate for effective home defense.
    First we must analyze the proposal laid out by the video. In order for the solid cube you depict -- 101.5 cm on a side, judging by the density of Uranium -- to not already be critical, we may upper bound the isotopic composition using the geometric buckling of this cube as 3*(pi/101.5cm)^2, from which we determine the composition to contain significantly less than 15% U-235 and mostly U-238. This does have the benefit of being easier to obtain from existing nuclear supply chains, but as we will see this will also form one of the sources of the lackluster performance described in the tutorial.
    Now for some suggestions:
    1. I would recommend starting with a hollow pit construction, which by lowering the effective density (and therefore increasing geometric buckling) will allow the usage of either more or a higher enrichment uranium, and more importantly also increase the ease of reshaping it into a more supercritical configuration. For beginners, a hollow prolate spheroid will be easiest to compress by two hands, and an aluminum pusher plate can also make easier the application of even pressure.
    2. In preparation, the exercise of especially the pectoral muscles should be emphasized. Proper form and training goes a long way towards achieving maximum criticality.
    3. Fusion boosting, by the injection of several milligrams of deuterium into the pit prior to compression, can help improve yields for those concerned about their performance.
    4. Somewhat paradoxically, using a smaller amount of Uranium could improve yields here by minimizing the probability of a stray neutron initiating the chain reaction before significant supercriticality is achieved. The spontaneous fission rate of 20,000 kg of the isotopic composition inferred above produces at least 231,000 neutrons per second, giving an extremely small window for implosion to take place. In fact, I would judge this to be the likely reason for the fizzle described in the video. Using a smaller amount of a higher-grade Uranium will decrease the background neutron rate for two main reasons. First, and somewhat obviously, the spontaneous fission rate is proportional to the amount of material, so a smaller amount of material will lower the background neutron rate and give more time for compression to supercriticality. Second, and perhaps more surprisingly, U-235 actually has a far lower spontaneous fission rate than U-238, so these higher grades will also do even better on an equal-weight basis.
    5. A polonium urchin, wrapped thinly in beryllium and gold, and placed at the center of the pit, can also help kick-start the reaction as soon as the pit is fully collapsed.
    Please let me know if you have any questions. With crime by Serbian home invaders on the rise, I am deeply cognizant of the need for home defense and am grateful to this channel for making such informative and high-quality tutorials freely available for the general public. It is my hope that my suggestions can also help those looking to protect their property and family from Serbian home invaders.

    • @georgeoldsterd8994
      @georgeoldsterd8994 Год назад +695

      But what if a "fizzle" was the desired effect all along?

    • @Inglonias
      @Inglonias Год назад +1673

      it scares me that you both know so much about nuclear weapons and that you are sharing this knowledge on the internet

    • @blizzardkiehn2508
      @blizzardkiehn2508 Год назад +760

      @@Inglonias I mean, you can probably get this stuff off of the internet.

    • @Myname-il9vd
      @Myname-il9vd Год назад +549

      This was incredibly informative! Thank you! I had a gut feeling that I might not be getting a high enough yield, now I can rest easy knowing my home is properly protected.

    • @fim-43redeye31
      @fim-43redeye31 Год назад +723

      Think about the fact that in 1945 the Soviets would start a war over the information in this RUclips comment.

  • @flallana18
    @flallana18 Год назад +21799

    As a Serbian Home Invader, this sets back my plans significantly.

    • @BYRDE1917
      @BYRDE1917 Год назад +10

      It's called "Bosnian" ape society for a reason

    • @danielchang4671
      @danielchang4671 Год назад +697

      This actually helps me, now I know how to improve my house invasion methods

    • @Supadurp
      @Supadurp Год назад +553

      Thankfully, I'm a Filipino Home Invader.

    • @brokeandtired
      @brokeandtired Год назад +244

      With great Baby Rays sauce comes great irresponsibility.

    • @lairdcummings9092
      @lairdcummings9092 Год назад +117

      Try invading Greek homes, instead of Serbian homes. If nothing else, you might find Moussaka.

  • @IndirectSleet23
    @IndirectSleet23 Год назад +3108

    “For if you do not know your next move, neither can they”
    I love that quote

    • @YaBoiL0721
      @YaBoiL0721 Год назад +94

      Describes my life perfectly
      I am currently on the run from the FBI and Mafia and I and watching this on a Samsung Smart fridge in an IKEA.
      I am quickly running out of ideas of where to hide, I already tried the ball pit in Chuck E Cheese but a child ratted me out.
      I must go, I hear footsteps coming

    • @prodfkamakesmusic
      @prodfkamakesmusic 11 месяцев назад +10

      Literally read this a second before he said

    • @smolderingveins8781
      @smolderingveins8781 11 месяцев назад +10

      That’s literally the American war doctrine😂🤣🤣

    • @totallynotaminecraftchanne1923
      @totallynotaminecraftchanne1923 11 месяцев назад +8

      They aren’t wrong though…

    • @EKMOfficial666
      @EKMOfficial666 10 месяцев назад +8

      This will be my motto when I enlist in the military

  • @DotepenecPL
    @DotepenecPL 11 месяцев назад +486

    I like how the channel presents simple solutions to common problems.

    • @ronnocanddug2850
      @ronnocanddug2850 8 месяцев назад +12

      True and the things we need are always so easy to get

    • @user-vg5ei9iy4k
      @user-vg5ei9iy4k 5 месяцев назад +8

      Yeah I mean who doesn’t have a solid block of the most radioactive stuff on earth just lying around?

    • @You_Ate_My_Soap
      @You_Ate_My_Soap 5 месяцев назад

      @@user-vg5ei9iy4kthat’s polonium I think

    • @xenf1365
      @xenf1365 5 месяцев назад

      @@user-vg5ei9iy4k What you don't?

    • @michaeljfferson
      @michaeljfferson 5 месяцев назад +3

      ​@@user-vg5ei9iy4kwhat do you mean _"a_ solid block of uranium"? I have 12 of them right now

  • @minhquanrandy9156
    @minhquanrandy9156 Год назад +572

    As a person who never got my house invaded, I can confirm this is accurate

    • @Not_interestEd-
      @Not_interestEd- 6 месяцев назад +8

      Then you are unfortunately not prepared, as December 1st 2027 is rapidly approaching. Optionally, avoid El Paso, Texas until the New Year of 2028.

  • @THE_KIRYU
    @THE_KIRYU Год назад +9344

    I followed this tutorial down to every step, and it almost worked perfectly. The only problem I found is that there was a single seat, twin engine, supermanuverable Sukhoi Su-35 Flanker-E air-defence figther observing me the whole time. It didn't even consider me a threat because it was too busy laughing at my complete and utter incompetence

    • @TheRogueminator
      @TheRogueminator Год назад +584

      Just get a Eurofighter Typhoon, or even better, an F-22 Raptor, that'll solve your problem

    • @jacobthecool3000
      @jacobthecool3000 Год назад +331

      @@TheRogueminator Nah he needs to keep a AAA battery in his backyard.

    • @vivekkaushik9508
      @vivekkaushik9508 Год назад +215

      What you need is a man portable shoulder held laser guided FIM-92 Stinger.

    • @musewolfman
      @musewolfman Год назад +119

      As long as you have an appropriate car for beginner drivers, with all-wheel-drive and a twin-turbo V8 engine, any of these options should work.

    • @neowide4970
      @neowide4970 Год назад +18

      @@TheRogueminator Or a F-35

  • @-Raylight
    @-Raylight Год назад +3862

    *"For if you do not know your next move, neither can they"* Genius, this will save so many people's lives 😂

    • @thesleepypiggy
      @thesleepypiggy Год назад +110

      American doctrine.

    • @dbest8083
      @dbest8083 Год назад +92

      Cringe alpha male: has a plan (is predictable if you know the plan)
      Based sigma male: makes up a plan as he executes that very plan (very effective against serbian home invaders)

    • @Caffeine_Addict_2020
      @Caffeine_Addict_2020 Год назад +31

      "the voices sound familiar, but you cannot place.them" - I think the point here is that "you" is having a psychotic episode and family are trying to help him out

    • @rustybeskar4664
      @rustybeskar4664 Год назад +13

      Imma use this as my senior quote

    • @eyitsaperson
      @eyitsaperson Год назад +1

      @@Caffeine_Addict_2020 who is you and how do you know it to the point of calling it a he

  • @makeandbreakgames1791
    @makeandbreakgames1791 Год назад +63

    I absolutely LOVE the low quality, noisy, poorly adjusted domains, default settings, basic models, badly rotated particles, and unadjusted lighting in...whatever 3d software you are using. Looks like blender. I always try to aim for perfect photorealism, but this channel's videos have brought me above that.

  • @raymond3663_
    @raymond3663_ Год назад +40

    pov: youre on mid-page of a lego instructions: 2:24

  • @Thiefwriter
    @Thiefwriter Год назад +11348

    This channel never misses. Much like an AGM-65 Maverick Precision Guided Air-to-Ground missile.

    • @lairdcummings9092
      @lairdcummings9092 Год назад +220

      Or a LeClerc MBT waiting in ambush.

    • @dankuser8303
      @dankuser8303 Год назад +239

      Or my dad with a belt

    • @chaselikesnachos1283
      @chaselikesnachos1283 Год назад +104

      What about the The AIM-120 Advanced Medium-Range Air-to-Air Missile.

    • @flightstatic4662
      @flightstatic4662 Год назад +18

      true though it could miss in theory (the aim120)

    • @Avetho
      @Avetho Год назад +20

      @@dankuser8303 Dad OP pls nerf

  • @harrisonofcolorado8886
    @harrisonofcolorado8886 Год назад +19

    2:07 "For if you do not know your next move, neither can they".
    -Sun Tzu, The Art of War

  • @hellyea7866
    @hellyea7866 9 месяцев назад +20

    My grandpa was a Serbian home invader and unfortunately this is exactly how he passed away 😢

  • @CaptainConfuzion
    @CaptainConfuzion Год назад +3676

    So glad we can watch this again. I had already forgotten the date of the upcoming invasion of my home.

    • @lairdcummings9092
      @lairdcummings9092 Год назад +90

      Mark it on multiple calendars; someone keeps altering my computerized 'home invasion' notifications.

    • @Grissbane
      @Grissbane Год назад +18

      What happened to it??

    • @robertjenkins6132
      @robertjenkins6132 Год назад +20

      @SkepticDylan Oh ... I am new to this channel, so I thought it was a brand new video. I am glad it was restored. It's one of the ones that has a voice actor, which is better than TTS in my opinion.

    • @natsudragneelthefiredragon
      @natsudragneelthefiredragon Год назад +3

      666 Likes

    • @iwishuponafish1274
      @iwishuponafish1274 Год назад +4

      you also forgot the upcoming invasion of macedonia

  • @WowLookAtThat
    @WowLookAtThat Год назад +1984

    After following this clear to understand instructions, I could see that the number of my home invasions dramatically decreased.

    • @WowLookAtThat
      @WowLookAtThat Год назад +70

      I lost my house because I forgot to paint it with Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce tho

    • @Green-vw5vr
      @Green-vw5vr Год назад +50

      @@WowLookAtThat a common mistake unfortunately

    • @Voltboy1449
      @Voltboy1449 Год назад +9

      I find it works better if you PRAY TO YOUR BARBEQUE SAUCE like the whole thing I'm talking chanting,HOLY writings,incents and ritualistic sacrifice

    • @RokeJulianLockhart.s13ouq
      @RokeJulianLockhart.s13ouq Год назад +6

      From 0 to 0?

    • @jiaqir369
      @jiaqir369 Год назад +6

      also because there are less houses now

  • @SpruceParsley80
    @SpruceParsley80 Год назад +48

    “For if you do not know your next move, neither can they”
    Story of my life

  • @gjvgjfvgjftgjfthj-nb2bn
    @gjvgjfvgjftgjfthj-nb2bn 9 месяцев назад +14

    As an Iranian, I want to thank you for giving me the self-defense advice I need to make my dreams come true

  • @bobbysteele4639
    @bobbysteele4639 Год назад +664

    I work at a grocery store, and every time I see a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's come through the register, I can't help but think of this video. Thanks for the reupload.

    • @cavalcadeofbobs3559
      @cavalcadeofbobs3559 Год назад +38

      Thanks, I thought I was crazy. Everyone else is acting like this was their first time seeing it.

    • @samuelloomis9714
      @samuelloomis9714 Год назад +11

      What happened to the original? Original was better. :'(

    • @bishoptrees
      @bishoptrees Год назад +5

      Yeah, thought this was a reup

    • @treyebillups8602
      @treyebillups8602 Год назад +8

      Just be proud that you’re helping people survive nuclear explosions with the power of Sweet Baby Ray’s

    • @cavalcadeofbobs3559
      @cavalcadeofbobs3559 Год назад +4

      @@samuelloomis9714 it's the same one

  • @serbianslav5494
    @serbianslav5494 Год назад +789

    As an unidentified being of Serbian origin with malicious intent, I must make a new plan to achieve my goals.

    • @Beans-dweller
      @Beans-dweller Год назад +43

      instead of invading homes i would recomend chess

    • @serbianslav5494
      @serbianslav5494 Год назад +60

      @@Beans-dweller, how can I invade chess?

    • @WavveBoi
      @WavveBoi Год назад +23

      @@serbianslav5494 queens gambit

    • @calcutt4
      @calcutt4 Год назад +27

      Don't worry, you've got until 2:11 am on December 1st, 2027 to think of a new plan

    • @Beans-dweller
      @Beans-dweller Год назад +10

      @@serbianslav5494 by putting checker pieces on a chess board

  • @AnqrTos
    @AnqrTos Год назад +65

    Thank you very much Bonsian Ape Society. Your detailed tutorial for avoiding the home invasion tactically is effective both practically and mentally. You managed to save me, my wife and my four children from home invades of duolingo. I followed all these steps carefully and survived the situation but rest in piece my chill ketchup. Thanks for the tutorial you indeed saved those from the home invaders.

  • @aidanrossi9203
    @aidanrossi9203 9 месяцев назад +14

    As person who’s studying cyber security I can say that this is probably the only way you should do it. My only critique is that with the 12 gauge shot gun they did not tell you the proper room to ammo ratio but fear not I shall. From what my professor told me is that for every room in your house you want one and half rounds (armor piercing obviously). Thought for every hallway you want 3 rounds. So if you have 4 rooms but 2 hallways connecting it 9 rounds. Though keep in mind this is under the assumption that every room is “average sized”. Also if you cant get your hand on a flash-bang for some odd reason high intensity fast random pulse strobe lights work as well.

  • @Random7303
    @Random7303 Год назад +900

    As an El Paso Resident this will greatly improve my home security, thank you.

    • @Manny-fc8ym
      @Manny-fc8ym Год назад +12

      We must stay vigilante hombre

    • @JovanLemon
      @JovanLemon 11 месяцев назад +6

      As a Serbian home invader, this has seriously impacted my business

  • @spartannige3296
    @spartannige3296 Год назад +634

    Next video should be “How to Save Your Wine Cellar From an Ohio Class Nuclear Submarine armed with 14 Trident SSBNs”. I need this in my life as I recently lost my 1857 Chateau d’Yquem to a Trident strike. Sad days.

    • @andreasolsson4539
      @andreasolsson4539 Год назад +60

      “How to Save Your Wine Cellar From an Ohio Class Nuclear Submarine armed with 14 Trident SSBNs”
      Absolutely brilliant line. Definitly worth a video.
      Sorry to hear about your 1857 Chateau d’Yquem.
      All iv'e lost is my Tesco shopping cart. Didn't have enough ERA plates on it.

    • @masculineman123
      @masculineman123 Год назад +35

      I feel you man. I also recently lost my hermit crabs from a nuclear trident missile launched from an ohio class submarine at exactly 3 AM in Eastern European Standard Time in my apartment complex, in the suburbs of Athens, while I was collecting my daily cat hunting bounty

    • @spartannige3296
      @spartannige3296 Год назад +27

      @@masculineman123 The disrespect! Did they at least allow you to mount the AT4 on your Mercedes AMG GT before launching the Trident?

    • @masculineman123
      @masculineman123 Год назад +25

      @@spartannige3296 well, they did let me establish a CIWS system on my roof but they stole all the ammo to use it as seeds for their 30 mm tree farm. They even left me a message. "Get trolled"

    • @spartannige3296
      @spartannige3296 Год назад +18

      @@masculineman123 What bastards! Tell me you reused the 20mm Oerlikons auto cannon from WW2 that everyone keeps in their cellar.

  • @Miloun
    @Miloun 8 месяцев назад +3

    This is the best channel on youtube. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Best regards to Bosnia, and to Herzegovina also!

  • @neutralino1905
    @neutralino1905 Год назад +6

    A nuke turned into a directed energy beam is epic.

  • @benjaminrajer7810
    @benjaminrajer7810 Год назад +2135

    I literally want to meet the guy who runs this channel and just congratulate him for making such funny content

    • @dankuser8303
      @dankuser8303 Год назад +152

      I have yet to find higher quality shitposts

    • @mariosx12
      @mariosx12 Год назад +57

      Hahahaha... Actually no... It's funny until it saves your life...

    • @dot-ln7jc
      @dot-ln7jc Год назад +21

      @@paulwaltersheherfeministvl521 two girlfriends?

    • @kimjongchungus7548
      @kimjongchungus7548 Год назад +4

      Chungus brother?

    • @benjaminrajer7810
      @benjaminrajer7810 Год назад +3

      @@kimjongchungus7548 brother

  • @mattbader9480
    @mattbader9480 Год назад +1313

    I didn’t think I would ever watch a Bosnian Ape Society video that made me laugh harder than the first one I watched. There have been countless gems since, but, as with so many things, nothing was ever quite as good as my first… until this one. I cannot understate just how brilliantly this entire shit post is written: the dialogue; the setup; the payoff; the grinding juxtaposition of the narrator’s calm, flowery, even poetic explanation of home defense step-by-steps with the blunt insanity actually unfolding on screen- It’s this effortless dance between the two that drives every beat of the story; never lingering for a moment longer than needed, but never sprinting ahead of itself; taking only the perfect amount of time to generate as much friction as it can until the two voices become unable to co-exist. When the apocalyptic force of a quarter-trillion joule nuclear explosion is revealed to be not only withstandable, but harnessable thanks to a swig of Sweet Baby Ray’s, the sheer absurdity obliterates (literally and figuratively) the entire structure upon which both the world and the story are precariously balanced- drowning out the collected voice of reason, and bringing all that remains crashing down into chaos… then silence.
    This video is a masterclass in story telling. It has no right to make any sense- for something so inherently absurd. And yet, it does. If you’re down here in the comments reading this, then you know it does too. You felt it. You laughed at it. You got it…You maybe even got it like you did with your first Bosnian Ape Society video. So cheers to you, my friend. Cheers to this work of art. And cheers to the chase for the next one.
    I hope you find it.

    • @andreasolsson4539
      @andreasolsson4539 Год назад +52

      Well written.
      Out of curiosity, which Bosnian ape society video was your first?
      Mine was on how to properly navigate a roundabout. I sat in utter disbelief with my mouth open as the camera shifted focus to the Su-35 super flanker that was quietly stalking the driver. And then i knew i wanted more.

    • @TheMiningMeteor
      @TheMiningMeteor Год назад +32

      Sir this is a Wendy’s

    • @mattbader9480
      @mattbader9480 Год назад +7

      @@TheMiningMeteor oh shit, whoops

    • @mattbader9480
      @mattbader9480 Год назад +26

      @@andreasolsson4539 “How to protect your computer from a main battle tank.” When the whole desk blew up like five seconds in, I was so completely taken aback. Uncontrollable laughter for the rest of the video and an instant subscription.

    • @ilikeycoloralot
      @ilikeycoloralot Год назад +6

      Yes, very well said, indeed.

  • @certifiedidiot0
    @certifiedidiot0 8 месяцев назад +1

    “For if you do not know your exit point, neither can they.” The sincerity in his voice is hilarious.

  • @Chaos706
    @Chaos706 8 месяцев назад +2

    Plot twist the people at the door we’re your friends coming to check on you after isolated yourself from the world for three weeks.

  • @daedrikboltem7461
    @daedrikboltem7461 Год назад +409

    I’m glad this man is back, it was hard surviving without his survival tips

  • @sgtrogers
    @sgtrogers Год назад +404

    As a Serbian home invader, this made me rethink my plans.

  • @DeadLock8_
    @DeadLock8_ 9 месяцев назад +2

    This is the best video that I have ever watched and I have been watching RUclips for over half of my life

  • @ricsons5912
    @ricsons5912 Год назад +6

    I enjoy the fact that the sheer energy from 500 KT worth of TNT at 3:09 made my pc freeze, and it's worth mentioning that it has never happened before. My guess is that my RTX 2060 started to strike once it realized his GPU brothers and sisters were tortured by rendering the particles in the beam of fissile material

  • @darthdangermouse1453
    @darthdangermouse1453 Год назад +380

    Great advice, I too had to repel a home invasion lately, and I followed the steps shown here to annilhate my enemies.
    However, I would have to note that sometimes the home invaders may have tricks up their sleeves, as during this home invasion, the two remaining home invaders had prepared an Übercharge and were therefore immune to the Uraninum-235's explosion.
    I was able to fortunately repel them, though, by challenging to a game of lethal rock, paper scissors, to which I won, and as per the universe lethal rock, paper, scissors agreement, they immediately exploded into giblets.

    • @Not_interestEd-
      @Not_interestEd- Год назад +13

      Ah, so knockback is disabled, no rocket jumping then :(

  • @ShawnMeira
    @ShawnMeira Год назад +123

    I love when these scenarios start out as more realistic and then slowly devolve into confusing chaos

  • @xo1z9
    @xo1z9 Год назад +23

    This channel saves lives, my house was invaded a few days ago but I remembered what you taught me. God knows what could’ve happened if I didn’t watch this video😮‍💨

  • @blueengineer7019
    @blueengineer7019 8 месяцев назад +1

    Instructions unclear, I threw sauce at 99 meters per second and earth exploded

  • @jibberwocky4054
    @jibberwocky4054 Год назад +383

    I needed a re-run of this drill. Thank you for this, my paranoia has been satisfied by the informative nature of this survival guide.

  • @willbarnes1282
    @willbarnes1282 8 месяцев назад

    I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at what is essentially a barbecue commercial in my life

  • @holyelephantmg8838
    @holyelephantmg8838 Месяц назад

    I showed someone from the military the 1:57-2:11 and asked if they had any issues with the tactics.
    They shrugged.
    This is legitimate advice

  • @chegeny
    @chegeny Год назад +121

    As a Brit, this is what I imagine some coming of age ceremony in America would be.

    • @nunya6537
      @nunya6537 Год назад +15

      lol naw, thats just shooting a deer

    • @hello_i_exist_uwu
      @hello_i_exist_uwu Год назад +1

      As an american, can confirm, we have to defend a home invasion from unidentified beings of serbian origin with malicious intent.

    • @Furzkampfbomber
      @Furzkampfbomber Год назад +1

      Naa, they are practically barbarians, they use ketchup instead of Sweet Baby Ray's.

    • @amerikasanimations77
      @amerikasanimations77 Год назад

      @@nunya6537 More or less

    • @pendragon5573
      @pendragon5573 Год назад +2

      More like a gender reveal 🤣

  • @chaselikesnachos1283
    @chaselikesnachos1283 Год назад +164

    Finally another upload, these always make my day better
    Edit: Is this sponsored by sweet baby rays and why would you do this to my ears.

    • @khora3845
      @khora3845 Год назад +14

      I wouldn't say another, as its a re upload

    • @davidprestt6703
      @davidprestt6703 Год назад +2

      @@khora3845 hey I'm a little hazy on the old version of this vid, did it have the synthetic voice in contrast to the human one here?

    • @adriflux7704
      @adriflux7704 Год назад +5

      @@davidprestt6703 it’s the exact same as I remember

    • @FooFoo4230
      @FooFoo4230 Год назад +5

      AdriFlux Well, I remember a lot more noise at the final bit about “you have ascended to a plane of existence touched by no other living man”. But that might just be me misremembering stuff. I think the main difference is that this one has less noise.

  • @avis21X
    @avis21X 9 месяцев назад +1

    I love how this man just implied Serbian house thiefs to be the absolute bane of humanity 😂😂

  • @paowoww
    @paowoww 8 месяцев назад +1

    this feels like the ramblings of a personality core from portal

  • @AceKiIIjoy
    @AceKiIIjoy Год назад +407

    I watched this when was originally uploaded. Since then, I've used this method to repel 3 different home invasions (2 Serbian invasions and one invasion by a pack of feral Brazilian jaguars).
    But two months ago, I encountered a problem with this method. My home came under assault by an elite infiltration force from the Isle of Man. I followed the steps here as I'd done before. However, this time, one of the invaders had brought HIS OWN bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's and managed to redirect the directed nuclear explosion I had launched at my attackers.
    Fortunately, I was prepared for this possibility and utilized my Apache AH-64E Version 6 attack helicopter to catch them unawares and fend them off using a generous compliment of AGM-114 Hellfire missiles.
    What I want to know is why didn't the technique in this video work for me during my fourth home invasion?

    • @Opanker_
      @Opanker_ Год назад +35

      Because Manx people are famously known as wizards and will do anything you can think of. It is completely random if you can repel an invasion from them or not.

    • @aveimperia4026
      @aveimperia4026 Год назад +36

      This is indeed distressing, as we, the Humble and Ever Faithful Supplicants of His Holiness Sweet Baby Ray have long operated under the assumption that we alone could imbibe his sweet manna and attain a frail fraction of his endless power, which could easily lay low any mortal foe.
      Your account, if verified, challenges the most basic tenets of our sacred faith, and what was once dismissed as heresy must now be confronted as reality: perhaps Sweet Baby Ray is not as benevolent as we were led to believe.

    • @Karys-_-
      @Karys-_- Год назад +7

      You didn't used enought uranium or Sweet Baby Ray

    • @AceKiIIjoy
      @AceKiIIjoy Год назад +9

      @@Karys-_- This conclusion makes sense. But just to ensure I'm prepared for any outcome, what would you suggest I do in the event that the invaders ALSO scale up their quantities of uranium and Sweet Baby Ray's?

    • @Karys-_-
      @Karys-_- Год назад

      @@AceKiIIjoy Replace Uranium block with block of ²⁵²Cf.
      If it doesn't work, you should lock them up in a room, best underground, concrete walls, floor and roof. When they all enter lock them up using 18 000 kg pure stall block. While they try escape you use Zyklon B and you drop it inside, remember to wear gas mask, Zyklon B gas will kill them, and even if they will have masks, you can drop your backup 550 kg ball of ²⁵²Cf for confidence they aren't alive.
      And remember to drink vodka and chew with pickled cucumbers for protection and addational strenght.
      (Works for everyone except Asian's)
      (Slavic people have buff)

  • @evanhackard5861
    @evanhackard5861 Год назад +95

    I have experienced many home invasions in the past week and this has been very helpful, I no longer experience home invasions

    • @thedbdentity2102
      @thedbdentity2102 Год назад +4

      Remember you need toned arms in order to initiate super criticality

  • @thatguynoonelikes4865
    @thatguynoonelikes4865 Год назад

    This is the greatest sweet baby rays ad of all time

  • @mrdobalina3451
    @mrdobalina3451 5 месяцев назад +5

    2:36 *ExPOTenTIal*

  • @RaisinHook
    @RaisinHook Год назад +26

    0:53 finaly a reason to use that thing

    • @communisthitler666
      @communisthitler666 8 месяцев назад +1

      Wait, you also have a limited ww2 20000kilo block of uranium 235?

  • @mujdin
    @mujdin Год назад +85

    great tutorial, worked very well
    EDIT: turns out it was my grandpa what do i do now he's sleeping on the floor

    • @Wyzzard225
      @Wyzzard225 Год назад +18

      if you cant beat it, eat it

    • @spartannige3296
      @spartannige3296 Год назад +9

      @@Wyzzard225 🤨📸

    • @Ubersnuber
      @Ubersnuber Год назад +7

      A lot of reasons, say, 234, tells me that you’ll join your “sleeping” grandfather sooner rather than later.

    • @mujdin
      @mujdin Год назад +5

      @@Ubersnuber there are 2 masked men outside my house with torches

    • @alexsoo501
      @alexsoo501 Год назад +5

      @@mujdin unleash the fury of sweet baby rays on the assailants

  • @babaooeyman9277
    @babaooeyman9277 Год назад +3

    As an unidentified being of Croatian origin, this has minimal effect on my plans

  • @masshysteria9657
    @masshysteria9657 Год назад +3

    I love how this went from hiding and protecting yourself from unidentified hostile entities that has been all around the nation and actively threatens the survival of human civilization,
    To immediately seeking vengeance in absolute fury and using your bare hands to trigger a nuclear explosion and achieving apotheosis, effectively becoming a god, and the said hostile entities now merely pose even such a speck of significance nor threat to your existence - only needing to aim your beam of fissile material at them and they will be nothing more but warm ash in the wind.
    All to avenge a Sweet Baby Ray's.

  • @cs.marcell469
    @cs.marcell469 Год назад +11

    2:07 that tip is *Genius*

  • @RiotShieldMan
    @RiotShieldMan Год назад +67

    I am so glad this video is back. You don't know how many times I have been subjected to home invasion by entities of Serbian origin, and have completely forgotten what to do about it.

    • @thedbdentity2102
      @thedbdentity2102 Год назад +1

      I mean I was looking glad because you know helps me that people have forgotten how to repel me

  • @matteocdt5214
    @matteocdt5214 11 месяцев назад +2

    what did i learn today about sweet baby ray's BBQ sauce:
    -burns hot enough to vaporize tungsten
    -if ingested, gives a (supposedly normal) person the capability of channeling the full force of a nuclear blast, essentially turning the subject into goku.
    did i miss anything?

  • @ClassicalYT
    @ClassicalYT 8 месяцев назад

    Exactly what i needed! Thank you!

  • @justduro1527
    @justduro1527 Год назад +64

    I am sorry guys i have failed
    they took the living room, kitchen, bathroom and 1 room
    There is a intense fight in the stairs but my defense is collapsing, this is my final message.
    Goodbye.

    • @SkoruOrugyat
      @SkoruOrugyat Год назад +17

      DO NOT GO GENTLY INTO THE DARK NIGHT.

    • @sand0decker
      @sand0decker Год назад +7

      You've been caught lacking.

    • @quixquire1761
      @quixquire1761 Год назад +12

      I can send you some more Sweet Baby Ray’s, just keep holding out!

    • @andreasolsson4539
      @andreasolsson4539 Год назад +13

      Sounds like someone forgot his Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce.
      It's the taste that makes you great.
      Get your very own bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce at your local Tesco.
      So what are you waiting for. Come on down to Tesco for your Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce.

    • @combativeThinker
      @combativeThinker Год назад

      Everyone who reads this: take this as a lesson as to why you gotta keep that mf thang on you.

  • @theoreticalphysics3644
    @theoreticalphysics3644 Год назад +10

    Never again will I fall folly to ignorance and underestimate the sheer power of Sweet Baby Ray's.

  • @mossthefox
    @mossthefox Год назад

    This has improved my efficiency. Thank you.

  • @some_guy_8923
    @some_guy_8923 7 месяцев назад

    I love how this implies that flashbangs can be reused

  • @borbleborb4586
    @borbleborb4586 Год назад +14

    0:26 numerous unidentified beans

  • @fbdjwjflac
    @fbdjwjflac Год назад +27

    Can’t believe this information is available for free. I will be sharing with all my family and friends, as they have had home invasions in the past. This will be incredibly useful for them! Thanks

  • @random_ak_in_the_backyard
    @random_ak_in_the_backyard Год назад +1

    “If you dont know ur next move neither can they” smartest thing I have ever heard

  • @Acid_Hayze
    @Acid_Hayze Год назад +3

    I don’t think I have EVER laughed so hard at a video before 😭 So funny yet so effective I have now successfully defended my home.

  • @TheIamninja28
    @TheIamninja28 Год назад +67

    Thank you so much for bringing this one back, my friends and I love to watch your content during pauses in our daily jobs (deployed overseas in combat) and your humor and straight forward style are iconic for us, thank you so much for keeping us entertained.
    And remember, a shrimp can lobster, but a lobster cannot shrimp.

    • @DeadOnInfil
      @DeadOnInfil 10 месяцев назад

      As a military, how accurate is that flashbang sound? Spot on if you ask me. 😂

  • @princessportsassociation5958
    @princessportsassociation5958 Год назад +5

    I love how he just casually adds solid uranium 235 😂😂😂

  • @Smjh123
    @Smjh123 Год назад

    Ok now we need up to date home invasion tutorials

  • @NewVegasPsycho
    @NewVegasPsycho 7 месяцев назад +1

    Damn, I took a bite out of raw eggs and was greeted with eight inches of eggshell.

  • @stirnersself-critques1284
    @stirnersself-critques1284 Год назад +70

    Good one Mr. Ape, you showed those law-abiding homeowners who’s boss!

  • @cashmsc
    @cashmsc Год назад +6

    I live in El Paso and I was caught so off guard when they started talking about my own house

  • @Lynxmountain
    @Lynxmountain 8 месяцев назад

    so glad to have a tutorial on how to protect home with these common household items.

  • @TimmyLongfellow
    @TimmyLongfellow Год назад

    I tried this at home and it worked!! Thank you for this very informational video.

  • @ComputerBusterGamer
    @ComputerBusterGamer Год назад +25

    Thank goodness my home is safe after this training

  • @taltalwarrior3684
    @taltalwarrior3684 Год назад +23

    The legend has outdone himself again, truly will be remembered for ages as the most incredible home Invasion tutorialist to ever live. 420/10

  • @suschickenman2074
    @suschickenman2074 Год назад +2

    This takes “just as the founding fathers intended” to another level 💀

  • @garethpreston8275
    @garethpreston8275 Год назад +1

    At any given time, I proudly have no less than 10 bottles of Sweet Baby Rays in my pantry.

  • @thetachyon456
    @thetachyon456 Год назад +10

    Very nice, this will definitely go on my FBI file report after committing mass atrocities

  • @dancing_odie
    @dancing_odie Год назад +7

    "...for you have ascended to a plane of existence touched by no other man."
    except for Shaggy

  • @coolguymcbadass
    @coolguymcbadass Год назад

    The narrator’s specification of the speed of the bbq sauce to hit the ground after exactly 1.11 seconds implies he knows the exact dimensions of my home.

  • @alien6518
    @alien6518 9 месяцев назад +1

    I am a serbian home invader, and I can confirm that this method will work.

  • @xnomdfrost1938
    @xnomdfrost1938 Год назад +10

    0:09 i thought this is an SCP vid for a second

  • @somepvpguy69
    @somepvpguy69 Год назад +29

    As a certified home invader I now know how to defend against this

    • @georgeoldsterd8994
      @georgeoldsterd8994 Год назад +2

      Sure you do, that's what you all say. 🧐

    • @thearcheovistofsolkeeperof6326
      @thearcheovistofsolkeeperof6326 Год назад

      How to defend against it: don't go close to the maniac

    • @somepvpguy69
      @somepvpguy69 5 месяцев назад

      @@georgeoldsterd8994 I just stole your sock what you gonna do about it?

    • @georgeoldsterd8994
      @georgeoldsterd8994 5 месяцев назад

      @@somepvpguy69 joke's on you, I never had any socks!

    • @somepvpguy69
      @somepvpguy69 5 месяцев назад

      @@georgeoldsterd8994 cuz I've been stealing them since I was born! Nyohihoho!

  • @bro3311
    @bro3311 8 месяцев назад

    somebody take away his internet connection this man is a threat

  • @politicalchair487
    @politicalchair487 2 месяца назад

    "if you do not know your next move, then neither do they"
    words of a god

  • @MajesticDemonLord
    @MajesticDemonLord Год назад +12

    Finally, I can address this critical flaw in my home security setup.

  • @ahnafzariatkhanbrinto106
    @ahnafzariatkhanbrinto106 Год назад +5

    "if you do not know your next move, neither can they" That Got Me Laughting Hard..

  • @mranglo-american
    @mranglo-american Год назад +1

    Thank you for this advice.a week after i acquired these resources my home was invaded.But as i was not lacking i followed these steps and the beings of Serbian Origin were Wiped of the Face of the Earth.Thank you!

  • @ajking8836
    @ajking8836 День назад

    "sir is that Uranium?" *here comes the sun starts playing*

  • @gibbous_silver
    @gibbous_silver Год назад +9

    i read the title and thought this was a tutorial on how to invade a home
    Edit: ive read through it and saw some very useful tips, thank you for uploading this

  • @falcon1378
    @falcon1378 Год назад +3

    The fact that I love sweet baby Ray’s makes this video hit me on a personal level.

  • @rozenberg314
    @rozenberg314 Год назад

    I didn’t know how much I needed this

  • @killsmith
    @killsmith Год назад

    This is the best commercial I've ever seen

  • @C.5.
    @C.5. Год назад +10

    Finally, the reliable home defense tutorial is back, I can move on from the pepper spray + lighter flamethrower I have to a more effective method.

    • @thedbdentity2102
      @thedbdentity2102 Год назад

      That isn’t even better way simply grab a cheaper barbecue sauce and throw that then grab the baby rays in swig the entire thing that makes your human recoilless done 10 times more powerful

  • @samaykashyap9544
    @samaykashyap9544 Год назад +8

    Thanks for this guide, it’s much better than my previous strategy of unleashing a 60kilo snow leopard onto my enemies

  • @thequaquman6563
    @thequaquman6563 8 месяцев назад

    feels like a government video you’d see in cruelty squad

  • @lilchaq101
    @lilchaq101 Год назад

    i dont know what i would do without this channel

  • @plasmafoal1117
    @plasmafoal1117 Год назад +13

    Home break ins by Eastern Europeans are the very thing I am most afraid of. Thank you for this helpful tutorial, yes everyone should know how to perform implosion compression of U235 using their hands. Once again you have shown a meaningful and balanced approach to solving one of my biggest fears (BTW my wife is Polish and I am terrified of her.......because she is Eastern European).

  • @EmbeddedWithin
    @EmbeddedWithin Год назад +49

    Hello, I followed this tutorial and I all went according to plan. However I recommend the Topol-M cold-launched, three-stage, solid-propellant, silo-based or road-mobile intercontinental ballistic missile in case you can’t compress and replicate the fission process of a nuclear weapon with the URANIUM 235 in the video, and also incase an enemy retaliates with 3 armoured divisions containing multiple T-72 Soviet-designed main battle tank that entered production in 1971, along with BMP-3 Soviet and Russian infantry fighting vehicle, successor to the BMP-1 and BMP-2s. In the unlikely case that the enemy has a Borei Class series of nuclear-powered ballistic missile submarines being constructed by Sevmash for the Russian Navy, equipped with RSM-56 Bulava developed for the Russian Navy and deployed in 2013 on the new Borei class of ballistic missile nuclear submarines, use the Kortik or Kashtan modern naval air defence gun-missile system deployed by the Russian Navy.
    I also recommend the Vepr-12 multipurpose semi-automatic detachable-magazine shotgun, produced by Molot-Oruzhie Ltd. It is patterned after the original Kalashnikov rifle and built on the heavier RPK light machine gun receiver.
    as a supplement for the 12-Gauge Shotgun. If you need to use it at a range, use common 12 gauge slugs
    If the enemies come at a distance and you need to use your stun grenade, get a HK69A1 40 mm grenade launcher developed and produced by the German arms manufacturer Heckler & Koch (H&K). The weapon was designed to engage enemy troops and strongpoints out to a distance of 350 m; it can also be used to deploy smoke grenades and illumination flares. These were perfect for launching grenades at a distance.

    • @TacoTurkey
      @TacoTurkey Год назад +1

      This has no reason to be this in depth but I love it

    • @EmbeddedWithin
      @EmbeddedWithin Год назад +1

      @@TacoTurkey haha I’m glad you enjoyed my comment on this video.

    • @doughboywhine
      @doughboywhine Год назад

      Sounds like someones been lacking

    • @EmbeddedWithin
      @EmbeddedWithin Год назад

      @@doughboywhine uh oh

    • @EmbeddedWithin
      @EmbeddedWithin Год назад

      @@doughboywhine wdym

  • @I_Love_Llamas
    @I_Love_Llamas 8 месяцев назад

    RUclips asked if I wanted a surprise video and it gave me this

  • @Hurtz-xm8eu
    @Hurtz-xm8eu Год назад

    this is one of my favorite videos to ever exist

  • @metetural9140
    @metetural9140 Год назад +7

    1:20
    A weapon to surpass Metal Gear!