LIVING ALONE: What I've Learned, Tips, Hardest Parts + Best Parts
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- Опубликовано: 22 май 2024
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TIME STAMPS:
0:00 Intro
1:25 TIPS for Living Alone
11:51 Hardest Parts of Living Alone
15:27 Best Parts of Living Alone
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If anyone else is touch deprived I really recommend a weighted blanket! the weight feels like a big hug and also gives a sense of safety! it’s helped me so much since living alone!!!
My therapist has recommended me to hug myself when I'm struggling with this. I usually wrap a blanket around myself and just pull it tight. I also love liking blankets and pillows around me!
Also regular massages
Omg I forgot I have one of these. I need to whip it out!🥰
Or just hit me up because I’ll touch you all kinds of ways, throughout all kinds of hours 😏💯
A corn snake is also a great option 😂 they watch you, only need to eat once every 1-2 weeks, and their heat requirements are pretty minimal.
I don't have any plants, but a fresh bouquet of flowers always brightens my day. It's also so silly that people think you can't buy yourself flowers. I love buying myself flowers! I don't make pretty flower arrangements like you, but flowers at the dining table is perfect to look at
Completely agree! It’s uplifting to but yourself pretty flowers and smile when you look at them.
Yes! And I love how fresh flowers can add a lot of variety to your space and to your routine. Such a great suggestion!
LOVE THIS! Flowers are the ultimate mood booster for me🥰
Agree I will buy flowers while shopping w my husband and he loves it. I love to make things pretty and calming
I love fresh flowers. You could buy a bouquet and of course enjoy them for you. You could also divide the bunch and deliver 1/2 to a friend and say I thought these were so pretty and I was enjoying mine so much I made this arrangement for you. You could thrift a few vases just for this purpose and give yourself the goal/challenge to give away all the vases filled with flowers in a month to brighten someone’s day.
I bought 10 acres of land and built a treehouse right in the middle. It’s built just like a house and even has a fireplace. I absolutely love my solitude. 🥰
that's so cute 😍
I love this!!!
Hey Michel! I occasionally watched your videos when you were married but have started to watch you regularly (as in every single video hehe) since you announced that you're going through a divorce. The reason why is because this very hard season of life that you're going through right now has really displayed your character. I've been able to see your strength in enduring and courage in sharing your feelings/mindset with us throughout this ongoing journey. The way you're dealing with this divorce has been a huge inspiration to me when it comes to how to deal with trials. So thank you so much for being so transparent and honest, it's truly admirable. Sending lots of prayers your way!
yes, to all of this! ^^^
This means a lot. Thank you for choosing to hang w me on my recent videos, I’m so happy that you feel like you connect with them 🥰 and thank you for your kind words, ILYSM!
Hi Dear Michel - I 100% agree as well with Elizabeth. I am so invested in your growth and your beauty and grace through out this chapter of your life. I have so much faith that you will be totally ok. You are wonderful. 🥰
Loved that you called it a season.
I literally started crying when you were talking about not being able to come home and hug someone. Gosh.... Ive gone through all this with you and have somewhat read through the lines about what happened with brook. and my heart just breaks for you . Hugs and lots of prayers for you !!! You are my VERY FAVORITE YouTouber . Much love Michael!!!
I loved living alone. I was with my parents till 23, then lived in a dorm for 2 years, and finally lived alone for 2 years in an apartment and it was amazing! It was great to decorate a space the way I wanted to feel homey. It was different for me as I hadn't had any opportunity my whole life to just be on my own, away from people, so i was thankful to finally have that time and space.
My husband of 27 years left December 29, 2021. I have spent the last year (with my 2 adult daughters-autistic) reclaiming my joy. The best parts for me is having a clean house and no TV blaring in the background. When I need something done, I do it myself, I don’t have to “check in”. I have always had a hard time asking for help as well. BEST of all, I can live my faith without ridicule from someone who was “supposed “ to have loved me. I feel now that I have worth. I do agree it is hard not having someone to share things with. (I was with him for over half my life and he was the only one) I am so proud of you and it is such a joy to watch you begin to flourish after such heartbreak/ache. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻✝️
I was single for 4 years and one thing I heard from a movie, of all things, is to sleep in the middle of the bed. I always felt lonely and would cry myself to sleep, but when I started sleeping in the middle it was invigorating because you can HOG THE BED!!! 😊❤️🇨🇦😘
Missing touch is for sure a thing. This is why I always get my nails done and/or pedicure. It may be a stranger but still human touch is so important even on a small scale! I’m glad you said that because I thought I was the only one!
YES! I also feel like massages help me with this too. Since I know what to expect, I’m not uncomfortable but I feel like it reduces my touch-related-stress :-)
The best part of living alone, for me, was being able to eat whatever I wanted and not have to think about what my SO liked/wanted.
Whenever my current partner is out of town, I eat all the things he hates just because I can. When I broke up with my ex, I made tuna sandwiches for a week because he couldn't stand the smell, and I hadn't had one in four years! 😂
Yes! I actually love to cook for 1 because I’m a fan of leftovers and it’s easier thinking about what I want and not what do I and my SO want
My ex HATED the way Cheerios smelled. I love Cheerios. Finding a balance was impossible and now I enjoy my Cheerios argument free
This is a topic I know very well. I lived with my family until I was 22 and with roommate until I was 29. Then because my roommates all kept getting married off, I moved to my own apartment. At first I was excited and thrilled to have control over everything in the apartment but as the holidays came, I began to see how lonely it can get. I have always wanted to be married and at 41 and still waiting, I can tell you that there will be ups and downs around holidays. You have to search out friends and make plans or you will face the 'being alone' head on. Sometimes that's great after a party or event, to go home and just relax. But when you are an extrovert, and nothing is going on in the dead of winter (Maine-snow, freezing, darker days) you have to make do.... I watch youtubers like yourself and feel comforted!
My husband dies a few months ago. It was so hard to be alone or sleep alone. Such a lonely lonesome feeling because he was my best friend.I keep something on all the time and when I come home it does not feel so bad.you are such a bright spit to so many oeople Michel.thank you
I've been living alone for 12 yrs now and the best thing for me is quiet and doing what you want when you want.
Being widowed, my Christmas & birthday gifts always came from my husband. Another widow told me every month buy a gift card or two from my favorite stores and stick in an envelope. Then when Christmas shopping (or at birthday) take that envelope of gift cards and only use on myself. I slept with the same man for almost 25 years. I couldn't sleep in our bed for a few years after he died, only able to sleep on the couch. Now finally back in a bed (after moving) but still can only sleep with tv or podcast on. He died while I slept and I found him so I still wake in panic attacks all night, checking that kids are alive, which is strange.
Hi girl,when noise’s bother you is called “Misophonia” ! I have it as well,people tapping thier nails , squeaky shoes,people eating sounds, whistling while waiting for something,etc,etc, tons of just little things that most people don’t realize or think about!
Huge tip for touch deprivation and trouble sleeping alone: Pregnancy pillow!! 10/10 helpful. It feels like cuddling, but is more comfortable 💛
I just wanted to let you know that you are looking happier and stronger more each time I watch your videos! Sending you a virtual hug and I hope you find total peace soon!!
Cooking for one - I’ve started freezing leftovers like soup or casseroles or pasta meals. I used to throw a lot of stuff out unfortunately because I’d eat leftovers a few times and still have half a casserole left. Now when I make something that has 4-6 portions, I’ll immediately freeze 3-4 individual portions and it makes it SUPER easy to grab a few weeks later when you’re in the mood to eat it again and headed out the door for work.
Watching vlogs and chatty videos are a great way to feel less alone. I love chatty videos, follow me around, vlogs etc because it's like spending the day with someone. It's especially comforting watching a GRWM when I'm getting ready myself.
Something small that I really love about Michel's videos is that she keeps Max's barks in the video and she even translates what he says for us! As somebody who has been working from home for the past couple of years with a best friend who likes to occasionally bark when I'm in a Zoom meeting, it's nice to see someone include their dog in the conversation rather than having to act annoyed about it. It makes us really feel like we're in her and Max's space as a friend, and I think it is really sweet.
Agreed 100%...the Max translations make me lol. 😁🙌
Having RUclips or podcasts playing in the background is a great tip for so many situations! I always had RUclips videos going as I was writing my PhD thesis to help make long hours in my office feel less lonely. A good tip for cooking while living alone is to prep things that you can then use in a variety of meals. For example I might cook a big batch of a mince and tomato sauce that I could turn into spaghetti bolognese, nachos, sloppy Joes, cottage pie, etc. Freeze individual portions and then you can defrost as needed and quickly make up different meals.
I went through a divorce as well when I was 33 so I understand and sympathize 100% with everthing you are going through (you are doing great by the way!). My biggest mistake was giving away my 2 dogs I had at that time since I had no room for them in my tiny 3 1/2 appartment on the 3rd floor. I am so happy for you that you have Max!!! I cried in that video!! I see nothing wrong with sleeping with your dog in your bed. He will give you comfort when you need it the most and that will bring you so much joy. Now at 44 years old, i'm now in a wonderful relationship with a man that respects me and loves me for who I am and we have 2 dogs and they sleep in our bed (if they feel like it lol). Keep on the amazing work that you are doing. You are on the path that is meant for you! God has got your back! Love all your video and you are in my prayers xxx
So fitting that this video is released on the first night I am solo after my separation. No partner and no kids. Thank goodness for RUclips and cats 🐱 🥰
Being able to realize how many things I can do that I used to depend on someone else to do has been exciting, but being sick and alone is awful because it brings a different kind of fear. The best thing I’ve learned about living on my own though is not having to feel bad if I want to go to bed early or stay up late since it won’t impact anyone else whichever I decide. Oh and being able to just get up and go on a whim without waiting to discuss plans with anyone else is fun too.
You know how relieved and glad I am to hear your tips. Now I know I’m not the only one suffering and the tips are really helpful. 😢
My mom and I decided to move in with each other because she was alone and I was alone. It has been so nice having my mom as my BFF, but also having someone. I have lived alone for the past 11 years and I was over it. I am older, so I am able to help my mom also. I still have times when I feel lonely, but I am so picky after getting divorce so many years ago. I just do not have the tolerance for certain things then I did when I was younger :-) I loved this Vlog.
One tip I have is to watch things on your TV, or to get a TV if you don't have one. I know content is available on phones, tablets or laptops, but there's something comforting about watching things on the big TV. It fills the room with light and noises, and similar to what you said, you're less likely to notice random sounds
Invest in a crockpot. Freeze leftovers. Easiest dinner solution ever. Minimal dishes. Get some post-it notes for reminders. Makes a world of difference.
I'm a few months late but wanted to say -- you're not a diva for being noise-sensitive, and you might have Misophonia! Definitely recommend looking it up, it made so much make sense for me.
I've just found your channel, and wanted to say you're very brave to share this journey. I went through it as a 33 disabled woman, and it took a while, especially emotionally, to adjust after 15 yrs of marriage.
It can be difficult to get that intellectual stimulation of a connected conversation, where two ppl are on the same page- but challenging one another. I miss that the most.
But after a few years, I actually love living alone, and am involved in so many projects and volunteer opportunities, that I don't have a longing for anyone romantic.
Even the need for touch has been filled by God, somehow. God is so good. If you feel you're lacking anything in your life, I encourage you to pray, and don't stop. If it's a longing for touch, or feeling lonely, or desiring a new friend, He will fulfill all of your needs, as He has mine.
God bless you, and take your time processing all of the tough stuff. It gets easier ❤
I've gotten back into the habit of reading at night before I go to sleep. Really makes it easier to settle down
Maybe I've missed it, but if you haven't already: I would love to hear more about how you tackled the apartment hunting process (especially when moving states or to somewhere new that you aren't already) - most important things you learned in the process, what sites or resources you used, how to know what neighborhood within a city you wanted/felt safe in, all those sorts of questions. How to find the next place to live when starting a new chapter, basically. Thanks for this vid!
Yes….this!!
I really got lucky - just toured two and chose one of them! I was stressed about the turnaround and feel like I truly lucked out that I like where I ended up. But this is a great video idea if I crowdsource tips and ideas!🥰
Hi Erin, the first thing i did was talk to ppl at church and then i called the churches in the areas i was looking at for help. I’m Catholic so it was pretty cut and dry which parish offices i needed to call. If you can try very hard to make a trip to look at apartments. It’s too big of a decision to try to rent and apartment site unseen. If you can’t make a trip, try to get references from the parishes you’re looking in. Also, since covid 2020 many churches still have livestream of their mass/service. And may have a group you can chat online with.
I don’t like to be alone at home at night. I feel ya on just about every topic of discussion in this chat. Finding comfort and safety is top of my list when I have nights alone. In what we can see, I think you’ve created a beautiful space!
I've found being a long term part of twitch communities really help me. And like engaging in the chat and having a home base favorite streamer that I believe in and follow who's vibe really matches my own. I've made so many friends and they've been such a support to me in tough times. They're international too so there's often someone online to chat to
Yes, this is so true!!
Yes! I don't even live alone but twitch chats are so helpful especially if it's small or a slower chat. Sooooo good!
A couple years back I wanted to start a RUclips channel and my husband told me that he would support me in me doing that… But whenever I tried to pursue it or make a video or spent time editing something or filming stuff… I could tell that he was annoyed by it and would become impatient and there were even times where he threw out stuff that I was using to film with that the whole idea of trying to do RUclips while I was with him became not even a choice… because I feared what he would think or if he would get irritated…and now that we aren’t together it’s made me reevaluate things and now I think I might possibly like to try that out in my free time. I don’t have anybody to come home to that I have any responsibility to take care of or please or make dinner for and so now is probably the perfect time for me to give my dreams a go. Whether it is successful or not… I might as well give it a shot because there’s nobody holding me back now like there was before.
I loved living alone. It made me independent.
This was wonderful, and so well done.
The hardest things for me after leaving my long term relationship were:
Walking into the grocery store and remembering I had to take the lead, and I wasn't there for things for the other person. Over the years my needs had been slowly pushed to the back, to the bottom of the list, to the if we have time list. Etc. And we got his things first in the store. And he hated me Walking in front of him. He said it made him feel like I was ignoring him. The first time I had to go to the store after leaving I was completely frozen in the entrance and for the life of me, could not remember a single thing I needed or where it was anyway. And it was so scary. It also felt like everyone was looking at me when I went shopping, for like 2 years.
Adjusting to having a different schedule. We'd had the exact same schedule for over a decade because we worked together. I had intense anxiety that I missing things or late for things I no longer did, because of how long that schedule had been the same.
Learning to feel confident driving again. He'd criticized my driving for so long, even when he was the one doing the driving that day. And I was so jumpy and frazzled trying to get used to driving without someone sitting next to me waiting for something to point out. It was like his ghost was still there looking for the tiniest mistake when I drove.
When something happens with my phone or computer, I have no idea how to fix it or what to do next. He always did. Now I don't have that resource.
Some of the best things:
I no longer had my phone on ring 24/7. And I no longer worried I'd get a middle of the night phone call that was an emergency.
I have trouble separating sounds. I now watch every single thing with the subtitles on, and no one's mad about it. And it makes every time I watch something so much easier and more relaxing
I do laundry whenever I want now. Not having to argue about is it a good or convenient time to wash dirty clothes, EVERY SINGLE TIME, is so satisfying. And like you said, if you clean it, you know it'll stay clean until you change it. No surprises.
I have a really hard time with a lot of sounds too. You're definitely not alone there. I can't stand mouth sounds. Chewing, swallowing, that kind of thing. Last relationship guy got so hung up on people have to eat together. He wouldn't eat if he was starving unless I ate with him. He'd get hurt if I ate without him. And he was such a loud chewer. The peace I have at meal times or with a snack are unprecedented.
I enjoyed reading your post
The feeling like a burden asking for something from a significant other /husband..I think what really for me hurt the most is when he stopped just "knowing " i didn't have to ask . I remember redoing my bedroom very feminine. Keeping it so clean . Except for the other side of the bed. It would stay made . But I would end up having a pile of stuff on it. A book,tablet ,magazines, packages, snacks🤣 ..I think anything to fill the emptiness 💚 You have handled this all with such grace . You are amazing !!
Look up misophonia, that helped my understanding of myself a lot around sensitivity to certain sounds! You seem to be such a lovely person, thanks for sharing vulnerability.
This was so good. I loved living alone and enjoyed the silence. But I love my own company. Thank you for sharing. Take care and stay safe 💝
This is super random, but UGH your makeup/skin is always so beautiful. You just look effortlessly flawless and I love it. I just can never get over how beautiful you look in your videos. Lol
Honestly, your videos are one of the biggest things that have helped me live alone during pandemic lockdowns! You have such a nice presence it honestly feels like I'm listening to a close friend :-)
I’m moving out into my first home at the end of this year and I’m definitely looking forward to being able to control the noise and energy of my space. I’m an empath and when you’re surrounded by people who make a huge deal out of nothing and voice their anxiety constantly, shout a lot due to a short fuse and don’t care if anyone else needs quiet due to working or sleeping, it’s tough! The light is at the end of the tunnel though 😊
I’m also a clean freak, when my space is messy or dirty, I can’t focus, it’s like an itch I can’t scratch so I’m basically looking forward to being able to control my environment and not have anyone interrupt it ☺️☺️☺️
First of all, congratulations to have some time alone! It helps you to dwell into yourself, know yourself better. Your triggers, pain points, insecurities and so much more thats just within us and we never really faced it, cz we are around people all the time. Taking this time is going to carve you stronger than before, a better person and ofcourse...an improved life awaits you!!! :)
This would be a great series to keep adding on to!
I'm going through a lot right now with family. Your vlogs/videos help to calm me.
I live alone and I myself am going through a divorce as well… But I do find that watching RUclipsrs vlogs or even just random videos on RUclips helps me get through things sometimes and so I do spend more time watching RUclips than I do regular TV. I could probably go a week without watching a TV show or a movie on Netflix and yet I will probably watch two or three RUclips videos a day if not more because I just feel more connected there.
The SQUEAKS in basketball!! They absolutely drive me up the wall. You are not alone.
This was helpful. I'm retired, I live alone and find myself to be noise adverse more recently. When I divorced, I craved hugs too. I'm a recent subscriber and love watching your journey.
love this!
Congratulations on 125k!!
Living alone is also a great opportunity to become a collector. Like if you were living with someone and had to compromise on decor. Living alone is the chance to get an entire set of Alice in Wonderland teapot and mugs, thrift art just because it's pretty, go overboard with decorative cushions. The world is your oyster when you're alone!
Great conversation
Great tips and good points and suggestions! 💖
Oh my gosh!! I totally share your disdain of sports especially squeaky basketball sneakers 😂🤣😂
THIS WAS SO HELPFUL!
Gorgeous hair!
This was great HUG
Great video! ! alot of important information.
My washing machine stopped mid-cycle yesterday and announced there was a problem with the filter so it couldn't drain water. I've spent at least a couple hours dragging that thing out, tilting it precariously backward so I could check the filter, calling my dad to tell me what tubes under the sink to check for obstructions (he made me BLOW on one of those disgusting things!), and then shimmying a very difficult clamp back onto a tube under the bottom of my washing machine after I (hopefully) pulled out the obstruction.
Ugh I just looked over and the test cycle has stopped yet again and the same error is flashing. Time to email the landlords. But yeah, sometimes you feel the horrors of living alone more than others.
I love when Max chimes in! 😊
Perfect timing!!! I was just thinking about watching a video like this!
100% absolutely loved and needed this video! Very helpful! ♥️
Great video and tips. You are ahead of the game addressing all these things and feel them. Great job 👏
The background you have of your bedroom makes these videos so cozy! Love it!
I’m obsessed with what we said such a good listen 💕
Hey! I instantly feel less alone! Thank you! ❤🌞🌷😘
We might be the same person. Dog mom guilt, touch deprived (both in previous relationship and now living alone), and having the most supportive parents on earth. Watching you has helped me feel less alone in this season, so thank you for that. ❤️
Love this sit down video!! I’d love if you make more like these 💕
New subscriber here! I just want to say that I love your videos, they make me so calm and put me in a better mood everytime. Keep up the great work ❤
I'm happy to see you thriving and learning to be kind to yourself, as well as grab the bull by the horns and meet your challenges head on. I can relate to so many things you talk about, and that you and I are so much alike, it feels like I'm watching myself if I were to time travel in the past lol. Thank you for sharing these tips, they are very helpful.
I LOVE your videos! I just found you, and you’re so down to earth and real🤍
I love your tips and tricks. There are a lot of benefits:)
I love watching you
Just got off of work.. and saw that you have another vlog.. it’s nice that you’re loving living alone and that you’re so open to what you’d like to say about everything 🥰
Love your tips! and having a pet is the best, your videos make my day and lift my mood💖
i love your videos and i’m so glad you made this one. post relationship i’ve been living alone for nearly a year now.
So many great tips. I have been living alone for several years now, but learned some new tips today! Thank you!
Michel, you’re such a gem. I enjoy getting to know more with each video. ❤️
We love you too! Your honesty and openness I know has helped me and I'm sure so many.
Thank you for being you🌸
I'm so happy to see that you're embracing this phase of your life. Keep living and loving it!
hey just wanted to say i’m super proud of how well you’re getting through a difficult time ❤ your video calmed me down so much and i appreciate you for that. Also i love the sage green going on it’s my favourite colour, just got mine painted a cooling sage colour!
I think the worst part about being a woman and living alone is not having a sense of security. I am glad you have Max.
this was so helpful thank you! just subbed! i was searching matcha tea reviews and stumbled across your channel 💚
Michel, you are so amazing. I’ve been alone for 10 years, it’s so good, I’m with you on music and pet, it helps so much 😊
I agree with comments here, plus, I have noticed, you look so much better! Especially physically. Example: Lack of Rash and Fingernail issues.
I can tell you that you are absolutely helping people by sharing your experiences (both positive and negative). I went through something somewhat similar a few years ago, and watching your videos now I know that they would have helped me more than I can express had I had them back then. Even though I am in SUCH a better space than I was back then, your videos make me feel retroactively less alone, so I can only imagine how much you're helping people currently going through these situations
Awww this is too sweet! I’m finally moving out this weekend from my exes place and I’m way too excited to be able to be myself!
I just discovered you via this video, looking for tips on this, and didn't even realize that I already implemented like 90% of these unintentionally since I started living alone 2 years ago. I relate to literally every single thing you said here and totally agree with every tip! Wonderful video!
Always feels like sitting down with a close friend! Thank you for all you share! 🥰
YES on the asking for help!! I'm the same way!!!!!
Omg potato!!! ✨🐢🥔💚🙏🏼✨ Wow… I can’t believe how long I’ve been subscribed! I feel like I’ve experienced so many seasons of life with you. And I’m here to say, you are thriving! I don’t want to sound weird, but I just feel so proud watching you grow and come into your own power! 💗✨
Another fabulous video with lots of up to date, helpful information. I learnt a lot today while watching this.
Thanks for all the time and effort you put into your You Tube channel. I appreciate everything you share here. Have a great day xoxo
You should be so proud of yourself! You are doing great!
Thank you for posting this. I’m entering this stage of life right now after a relationship ending. Your video gave me hope that I can do this too ❤️
Touch is my love language, I find that a monthly 90 min massage helps with that. I can’t afford more often, but I take what I can get.
Michel, you are doing great, so inspirational to everyone no matter what the situation is!!Be proud!!!
These tips are so helpful and realistic
I enjoy your vlogs and feel less alone while watching. It's like catching up with a close friend. ❤️
Your channel is definitely one of the way I cope with the transition to living alone ! 🌱