Q+A: Your Most Asked Questions (red flags, dating, divorce timeline, leaving CA, living alone)
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- Опубликовано: 20 июн 2024
- Thanks for asking these questions and bearing with me as I try my best to articulate my answers. I love you so very much.
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~How tall am I? 5'7
~Where am I from? Boerne, TX
~Where do I live? I spent 2016-2021 in Pasadena CA but have now moved to Austin, TX
~What did I study? Nutrition and Dietetics from ASU!
~How old am I? 24 (born in '97)
~Are you Christian? YES!
~What's your full name? Well it WAS Christiane Michel Janse but now it is Christiane Janse Smith so Michel is just a nickname now!
~How do you pronounce that? Like... Christy-Anne Mick-Elle Jan-See
~Do you have pets? YES! A rescue pupper named Max :-)
~Favorite Store? Everlane + Madewell
~Favorite Drink? Oat Milk Matcha or Lemonade Kombucha
~Favorite Friends? YOU
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I’m not sure why I am so anxious about this video going live - perhaps because I’m always wondering if I’m over or under sharing. My heart is to facilitate honest conversation to hopefully help someone else feel less alone in what they’re going through. Thank you for having grace when I’m not the most eloquent, respecting what I’m not yet ready to share + allowing me to process verbally as I come to new realizations. Though I’m eager to close this chapter soon, I’m thankful to be going through each phase w y’all by my side. Love you. 🖤
💗💗💗
😘😘😘
❤️❤️❤️
You’re amazing and your videos are my favorite to watch. I’m currently walking through a separation and working towards reconciliation but it’s hard and there’s so many parallels. I’ve listened to your podcasts with brook and my husband is also a 5 and I see so many similarities with my own husband. I just want you to know that you are so seen and loved and valued. Thank you for being so brave and open
I separated and divorced over thirty years ago. I can see the process I went through as you are going through it now. I do not have any regrets and I am thankful for the life moving forward.
I know that discussing divorce and separation is hard for you but I do need to say that I appreciate you being so open to it because obviously many people are going through the same thing. You are building a community and an openness for your friends to come together during a difficult time for them and for you. You are creating a safe space
Just came across your channel. RUclips must know me well. I got married at 20 and divorced at 25, so very same story. I moved to Austin, lived alone for the first time, similar to you. I can say, now I'm 31 - happily married, trying for a family, and thriving. This is a significant chapter, but will be one you look back on fondly for how much you grow. Good luck in this journey!
@@LouieTzepher maybe for u
Does anyone think that this divorce was the best thing that happened to her? I feel she is on her way to happier life and more successful career. Much love to you ❤️ I wish you all the love in the world.
Absolutely
Yes
Yes ❤
Agree 1000%
Amen!
Timestamps:
3:06 How is my friendship with Kalyce?
4:05 How do you deal with your ex having been your world and now not even part of it?
5:15 Do you see a therapist and if so, what are your main takeaways?
6:25 What are your tips and tricks to meeting and making plans with new people?
7:18 Would you use dating apps again? Would you consider going on a date?
8:47 What has been the most healing thing you've done for yourself at this time?
9:49 Best way to support someone going through a breakuo/divorce?
10:45 Thoughts on kids?
11:18 How do you deal with betrayal?
12:01 Have your opinions on getting married young changed?
13:05 Will there come a time when you will share the reason for your divorce?
13:43 What do you miss most about CA?
14:13 How do you feel about having old content of you and your ex that people can pick apart? Why have you left your old podcast, etc... up?
17:05 Have you been in touch with your ex at all?
18:28 Is it still your goal to own or buy a house?
19:25 What has been your favorite resto in Austin?
19:55 Specific reason you thought you needed to move out of CA? Why TX?
20:58 Something you are looking forward to in a partner one day?
21:08 Red flags
21:33 Religion and thoughts on LGBTQ+
22:46 Why Austin and not Boerne?
23:22 Why haven't you filed for divorce yet?
23:55 How do you stay positive?
24:30 Are you scared about your anniversary date?
25:25 Do you and your ex want to reconcile?
25:58 Bee tattoo?
26:11 Piece of advice for Michel 5 yrs ago?
26:18 Tips on living alone?
26:40 Will you get back into podcasting?
27:07 How did you know it was the right decision to split?
28:21 Favorite merit product?
28:39 Do you recomment couple's thewrapy?
29:15 How do you feel about intimacy in a long-term relationship outside of marriage/post-divorce
Thanks!
My advice for the intimacy question is to not overthink it. Intimacy/sex etc. Is natural and beautiful. Don't let society or people around you determine how you feel about it. It's different for everyone. Wether it's waiting for marriage or having multiple partners just for the fun of it, that's all up to you, nobody else.
You're a lifestyle creator, it's only natural to post about what you're feeling or doing every day. We've all been loving your vlogs, so don't feel bad about the influx of content based on your divorce and move. Ii would be so strange for you to act like it didn't happen, when we are aware of it as the audience. Keep being you, keep doing what you're doing because I've seen dozens of lovely people sharing their stories and advice alongside your journey.
I can’t put into words how much I appreciate you, Ele. Thank you for always bringing such eloquent wisdom!🤍
@@MichelJanse I feel the same way, you brighten my day every time I watch your videos. Thank you, friend 💖😊
If you haven't heard "Tolerate It" by Taylor Swift you should give it a listen. It's sad and might make you cry but I feel like it reflects a lot of the things you've said about your marriage.
Thank you for being so vulnerable ❤️ you are impacting so many more lives than you realize! We are all grateful for you!
This means so much. Thank you! I always get so anxious about sharing too much so thus truly means a lot to know 🤍
@@MichelJansehi my name is Mike Horton do you hate my name just asking
A thought that occurred to me while you were answering the last question: anyone who's ok dating a divorcee is also going to be fine knowing you've been intimate before. Even other Christians. It would be ludicrous for them to think you got married and then were never intimate. I don't think you have anything substantial to worry about on that front. And I was raised very much with purity culture and sex outside marriage is wrong. I never personally believed that, but most of the people around me did. And the reality for them, the ones who got divorced later, was that new dating partners later were kind about knowing they'd been divorced. I never personally saw or heard any of them having trouble with a new dating partner having issues with knowing they'd been intimate before.
I've adopted the phrase "season of life", it's really refreshing to refer to periods of time this way. Thank you for your vulnerability
For that day, you could change its meaning and do a yearly “Michel celebratory day” where you celebrate yourself and how much you’ve grown by doing everything that brings a smile to your face & a hug to your heart! However big or small the action may be. 🥰
Michel, you have no idea how much your videos and vlogs bring me joy. Anytime you’re not posting, I’m going back and watching old vlogs! I’ve built such a connection to you although we don’t know one another. I want to send you love and hugs. Thank you for always being so open, honest and always so genuine. Love you so so much🥺❤️
AWE! Love and hugs right back at you, friend 🥺🤍
It's so empowering to hear a woman say that she's open to having children alone. Thank you for being such an inspiration to me and to this wonderful community that you've created!
I think on your wedding anniversary you should definitely do something really special for yourself. Even if it's just treating yourself to your favorite take-out. Also I'd love to see the video about the best & worst aspects of living alone! Don't ever feel bad about talking about what you're going through. It's the season you're in. People don't have to watch. ❤ You are incredibly brave for sharing & have done it very mindfully & with grace.
Girl, I was so alone when I went through my divorce after 14 years of marriage. I didn’t have a support system, so watching your support system brings me great joy. I think it took me 2 years before I felt normal again. You are making great strides to take care of yourself.
I'm in your position. He had addiction problems and isn't working on them. Two years? I was hoping it would be less. I don't know if I have the energy to get through two years like this. Any tips?
Phewwwwww, thank you for answering the LGBTQIA+ community. I struggled in the Catholic school system being told I’d be going to hell since being a teen. I am a lover of your videos, as a queer woman experiencing divorce with my ex wife which was so hard for my teen and I, I felt really seen. Thank you.
As a fellow daughter of the utmost high🙌🏼, I love & agree wholeheartedly how you answered the LGBTQ question. Christ orders us to love others as he loves us & to treat others w/kindness. I wake up daily & try my best to do that. Your channel has been such a blessing to me😊TY & much love 💕💋
Gosh for a 24 yr old, you most certainly appear very mature. I think you articulate wonderfully at the stage you are at, just share what feels right for you Michel, and don't feel pressured to explain what you don't feel ready xxxx
I waited until 22 to have an intimate relationship (outside of marriage), and the most important thing for me was to understand what intimacy means to me. I felt at 22 that I was very secure in myself and was okay with intimacy in a long term relationship even if the relationship didn’t “work out.” When we broke up, I never felt like I “lost” anything or that intimacy made the break up harder. With age and maturity you learn how to navigate physical relationships in a loving and empowering manner. ❤️
Hi Michel I’m ready for the open conversation and honesty 🤗
🤍🤍🤍
I got teary so many times during the video because you deserved so much more in your past. BUT you're in a better place now and things will only continue to look up from here. ❤️
You've already proven that you're more than capable of handling multiple projects, running your own business, being self-employed, a full time content creator, blogger, actor, and product designer. But just because you can do all those things, doesn't mean you have to. I'm glad you're taking a step back from all the side hustles to just be with yourself. It's amazing that you're being so mindful and intentional about it all! You're wise beyond your years to be able to recognise the need to slow down. And when or if you're ready, we'll all be here to support wherever you go next 😊💖
Thanks for being so vulnerable and open. Praying for you❤❤
I am so proud of you. Share as much as you feel comfortable you are helping so many.
You did a great job answering all of these tough questions. You're so well spoken. Stay strong!
Love you 💞 Glad that you are hanging in there and focusing on what bring you joy!
Loved this video! Your videos feel like a moment of peace and comfort. I watch every single one! Thank you for being so real and vulnerable 💗
You are amazingly open in this Q&A. It's hard to make yourself this vulnerable, and I appreciate the strength you continue to show us in both your vlogs and this. 💜
You are amazing and being this vulnerable is hard to do. So proud of you💕
I'm so proud of you. Thank you for being vulnerable and showing all sides of your life, I know it isn't easy for you. Sending hugs!
I’m so impressed by how you are handling this situation. Through this, I have learned a better way of handling hurt than I have done in the past. Thank you. I’m praying for you. 💕
Your videos brighten my day so much! I also just want you to know I have already seen so much growth in you over the past few months and it doesn’t go unnoticed! I’m proud of you!❤️
I appreciate your honesty and showing how important it is to really know yourself! ❣️❣️ I love you so much and your heart! ❣️❣️
Thank you for your genuineness, good energy and openness. You’re helping so many people and it’s healing to listen to you truly. Life has beautiful things in store for you I know it.
Sending so many hugs to you!! Thank you for being so awesomely open at your own pace. So authentic and honest, and just incredible.
I can see how confident and sure of yourself you've become through these videos. We appreciate everything that you feel comfortable to share 💛
Thank you for sharing your life with us and wanting to help others. Love you and wish nothing but the best for you and your family! Prayers for healing are being sent your way!
You’ve done such a good job dealing with how your life has changed. Thank you for being so honest and open about your whole process. I can’t relate to what you are going through but I’m studying for the CFP exam and my stress level and anxiety are extreme. I love watching your videos, they give me some sort of peace and calmness that is nice during this time in my life. Thank you soooo much!!
I just wanted to let you know that your content and personal reflections are really helpful from the perspective of someone approaching marriage as well. Your insightfulness about such a tough situation is both inspiring and informational. I'm happy that you're finding ways to move forward and enjoy your twenties. I pray for you regularly and hope you're doing okay today!
Thank you for being so real. Love yourself and always remember that you are doing great!
💜
Honestly I'm loving your content way more post-separation. I'm sorry you're going through something so painful but I love this vulnerable, freer side of you. You answered the questions so well!
I so appreciate how open you were in this video. I am sure it was difficult but this is your story to tell and I am glad you are sharing it with us.
I feel so honored that you felt safe sharing more of what is on your heart and mind. Still praying for your sweet lady. You are so strong and so brave. And such a light in our world. Sending you tons of love this week.
I'm so proud of you and how far you've come since this all happened. Your honesty is refreshing but also that you're allowing yourself to heal and giving yourself Grace when sharing these incredibly personal things. Thank you for being vulnerable with us!
As far as 2/2, I think that's a great day to celebrate you! Do something you love, spoil yourself a little. Maybe a night at a fancy hotel downtown somewhere where you can do a food tour!
my goodness he is going to have a hard time finding someone who shines as bright as you, its his loss and he doesnt deserve you, sending you love and prayers for healing💕
You are stronger than you think and I hope you are proud of yourself. 💜
I remember someone telling me during my separation ' when you make someone your world, and they leave, your world collapses!' My hard lesson was learning to know that I too am a priority and worthy, and that when I met my new partner, it felt all the lessons of the break up/ heartache, brought me the place where I could love myself and as such let someone love me ! So you hold on in there ! Stay strong and true to you ! Believe that the storm clouds will pass, and brighter days will come !
I was literally about to comment the same thing as your prayer! You might not realise, but you are doing a world of good, and creating a little corner on the Internet that is warm, accepting, authentic and welcoming. Whilst I'm not going through what you've been through, I've seen loads of comments, here, Instagram, the community tab, and especially our Online Friend Group on Facebook. Even if you never see the comments or get a chance to respond to everyone, please know that you are doing so many amazing things for people, just by being your lovely, friendly, authentic self
I appreciate so much how candid and honest you are with what you feel comfortable sharing. I feel that this awesome group of online friends you’ve created is so caring that you could share as much as you want to and we wouldn’t think its oversharing. We so appreciate you!!
Found you through this video, and I just want to say I’m so excited to see your journey. Grow through all the feelings, and remember to be kind to yourself. 💛
I gotta say, I'm new here but the level of maturity I see in you is immensely! Praying for you in this season of life.
Appreciate your honesty and the clear boundaries you set for yourself on what you feel you can share. You don't have to be an open book to demonstrate integrity and genuineness. Lots of love right back to you!
Family and friends along with your RUclips family will always be here for you ❤️
You're so strong, Michel 🙌🏼🧡 I send you all the love from here
A podcast with your parents would be AMAZING! I need that in my life!
You are such a truly beautiful soul 🤍 thank you for continuing to be here and for being vulnerable
I appreciate you being so vulnerable and open.
You are so so so sweet. You deserve the BEST. I’m going to pray you heal and then find the prince of your dreams with a beautiful relationship dynamic 💜
thank you for welcoming us into your life with vulnerability and honesty. I watch every single one of your videos now and they really make me feel less alone on the lonely days. I'm going through a pretty big life change myself, and I hope the best for both us in 2022.
I love the down to earth and humble honesty you use when being open. None of us are perfect, and I can relate so much to you avoiding conflict, validating others more and not stand up for yourself. I appreciate that the old podcast and videos are still up, we get to know you before and now and see your growth and that’s always great for followers. I agree with loving everyone as a Christian , love the person but not the sin, I also have had friends in that community, but we had an open honest relationship where they knew where I stood on the issue but I still loved them. We aren’t suppose to embrace the sin but we are to embrace the person.
I’m very happy you will spend 2/2 with us even if the day comes and you change your mind that’s okay too. We are here to support you in whatever way we can. ❤️
You seem incredibly genuine & the next person that you choose to share your life with, will actually deserve you❤️
I’m all for podcast with the parents!!!! They are so inspiring and what more rewarding to get all these lovely talks, and inspiration from youre family.
You are being very authentic in the way you are sharing, we can tell it’s difficult but I hope you find it helps you to process it by talking to us. You are stronger than you realise 😌
Thank you for your vulnerability & honesty. It is refreshing to hear you talk about what you’ve learned, what you want (& don’t want), & what you deserve. Truthfully, it continuously gives me courage to make some difficult decisions that I have put off for too long. I’m more than twice your age, but I learn so much from you! So, thank you! 😘
Im so proud that you set boundaries for yourself. You deserve love darling 🥰
Sending you love and light. Thank you for sharing your heart with us! Love you always ❤️
Thank you, Michel, for your authenticity. I don’t at all get tired of hearing the wisdom you share through this process in your life. It’s honest and encouraging, so thank you. God bless you♥️♥️
I did hear some red flags listening to your podcast here and there where there was no support. I hope that you stay safe, find happiness in yourself, and continue to be vulnerable because that is such a strength that is overlooked ❤️🙏🏼
Good Q&A. I’ve only been following for a short time. You are a wise mature woman with a solid foundation. Keep moving forward. Life has so much for you. But right now is a time for you to nurture and feed your soul 🌸
You are such an amazing human Michel. You have so much love and kindness within you that is evident even in such a hard time like this. I wish I had anything to say that would help bring you strength. I am praying for you.
💛 Bigs hugs Michel!! I know this Q&A must’ve been hard for you to answer some questions, but you handled it with Grace. Continuing to pray for you during this season. God Bless you!
I love the rapid fire answers, you can tell it's the real you and a real answer. You are going through a hard season but by sharing you will help so many to know they are not alone and that it's okay to not be okay sometimes, and it's okay to be okay too. I hope that makes sense. Love you my sister and I would gladly sit and watch Netflix all day with you. (That makes my introvert heart happy)
I love q&a’s and every one of your vlogs! You’re such an amazing and strong person ❤️
What a wonderful video! I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this but, I hope that you continue to find what makes YOU happy and content. Thank you for opening up ( when you didn’t have to) and Sharing this incredibly difficult journey with us. 😘
You are so brave.
I was in your place several years ago. I see your light and positivity shining through all this, and know you will one day look back and know you are stronger for having this experience. Sending you my prayers and blessings as you learn new things from here forward. Im so glad you have Max to keep you smiling!
Michel, I so wish someone was as open and wonderful as you when I was going through a breakup after a toxic relationship. It would have helped me leave that relationship so much sooner. I’m so happy now but I know you are making the world of a difference to people going through separation. Please know we all love you and are here to listen every step of the way. We are so excited to watch all of your updates because little by little your light has come back and is shining more than ever.
Im so happy I found you. My husband and I recently decided to divorce and I'm struggling with how to move forward and make life happen on my own. Hearing from others experiences is helping me cope!
Yes!! Another MJ video. So glad I came across your channel. Your positivity is so contagious!! 🥰
Thank you for sharing your feelings. It was very brave of you to answer those questions. I am also going through a separation after 13 years of marriage. It is soothing to know that one is not the only one going through a really tough time. God bless you. I wish you all the best.Stay strong and healthy, you are worth it!
Sending you massive hugs! Thank you for the honesty xx
I am nowhere near the situation you are in but you are such a calming presence/person to see experience something so difficult. I know you don’t show the super difficult times but just keep it up girl! So glad your faith has helped you through this.
You could always try one of those sip and paint at home things even if it’s just sipping on kombucha or something, like they do at painting parties! Make it a good day for YOU!
One thing I’ve learned coming through a very similar season of life is that there is so much freedom in vulnerability and I’m very proud of you for being so open and honest in regards to your divorce. You are helping so many other women who are going through similar situations even if you don’t fully realize it. Praying for you in this season Michel!! Keep being who you are! You are so loved! ❤️
Loooveee the amount of content you’ve been blessing us with! 😍 Also love your honesty and vulnerability. Thank you for being so real and opened with us, Michel! You truly inspire me to be a better person every day. ❤️
I am loving all the content! Such beautiful growth and transitions! You are such a breath of fresh air!
2022 is my year of GROWTH!🥰 thank you, I appreciate you so much 🤍
@@MichelJanse 🌱 🪴 🙏🏻
You are smart to wait until you are ready to share and sharing piece by piece. It’s your info to share or not to share, but I appreciate your perspective because it helps the rest of us gain perspective too!
So much grace and maturity. Thanks for sharing with us and sending you so much love
I love when you share about your divorce in your videos! It makes me feel less alone in my own (similar but different) problems.
You make in difference in the lives of so many people and I always look forward to your videos. Although you are going through a rough season in your life, you seem genuinely happy about this new chapter in Texas. It's so nice to hear that you are focusing on yourself, your happiness and dividing up your time doing the things you like and spending time with the people you love. You deserve all the good things in life, surrounded by happiness and love! Thank you for being brave and sharing your story. We love you, Michel!
I don’t usually comment on your videos but I always watch your videos whenever they come out and I just felt like saying this today…. Girl I am so sorry. It hurts to see how hurt you are and I hope you know it is NOT what you deserve. You didn’t deserve this, and better days will come for you. You did the right thing and I am so proud of you. You deserve the world and we love you and appreciate you so much
I don't watch many you tubers..I love your honesty & grace no matter how it makes you feel. Thank you for sharing. Praying for you.
Michel,
I am SO proud of you. I’ve been a long time subscriber. I’m going through a divorce right along with you and you give me so much validation to my feelings. You are doing so wonderful, and I am every day praying for you and your heart. Seeing your growth is wonderful and seeing happy, carefree Michel is just wonderful. I love you. Take care hun.
Right track now...move to Texas with Max + family + friends + finding a church is huge! Breathe & continue to put yourself out there to new experiences. Glad bestie & hubby are headed your way!
February 2nd should be the ultimate self-care day with all your favorites! I would love to watch/join in on a self-care day with you. 💕
Although you can tell you are hurting you genuinely seem so much more confident in yourself - so much more certain in what you are saying. I admire your growth and the way you are challenging yourself, your efforts to be more kind to yourself, acknowledge your emotions, and embrace new beginnings. I think your openness to share and be vulnerable is so impressive and has such a positive impact on all of your viewers. Thank you for being so genuine and for sharing this process with us. You do not owe us, as viewers, anything, but we appreciate you and love you regardless 💛
I’ve been loving how honest and real you have been in this new season of your life! Regarding your anniversary I think you should have a day go for lunch go shopping get your nails done just treat yourself that day you deserve it! Invite your mom or a friend or go yourself!
Here to support you lovely!! You are a role model for sure. So proud of your bravery and integrity.
Thanks Michel...you did great answering these questions with eloquence and grace. *hugs to you and Max* 💖
Hi Michel! I am a fairly new subscriber to your channel and I want to tell you that I LOVE your videos! I really admire you for the way you are putting yourself out there online about your real life struggles and joys. And I also admire how joyous you are and self aware. I think you are truly doing such an amazing job navigating this season of life. I know you might not feel like you're doing a great job, it's evident that you are looking at everything so clear minded and you are doing the very best you could possibly do!! Sending love your way Michel!!! ❤️