Thank you!! The third reason helps calm my dysfunctional fears. The man I'm working to build a relationship with says he misses me often, as well as how much he appreciates me. Being long distance is so hard. Fortunately, I have a job that is portable and I'm exploring the possibility of relocating for a trial period to find out if after 20 years of being friends online there is enough substance to make a more permanent move. The three times he has come to visit me were amazing, but I need more than just amazing weekends whenever schedules allow. I want and need regular dates for a while to see what 'normal' life is like. I'm tired of the fantasy.
I appreciate you addressing the “ daughter issue” with mid life dating. I’ve encountered 3 men who are too caught up , if not codependent with their adult daughters life and neglect their own needs; dating.
It’s happened to me just recently. And, his daughter is a hot mess, and stresses him out. I told him that he doesn’t have to answer the phone…! Duh! I give up!
Lord have mercy you are a breath of fresh air regarding the information you offer freely. I read your book "What the Heack is Self Love anyway". I absolutely loved it. So much common sense in each chapter. It was like reading a letter from a very close fried. Thanks for all the informative videos.
I cannot have "chemistry" with someone that I do not truly know & trust. I can think a guy is "good looking", but that is it, & sometimes an "o.k looking" guy can become "good looking" if I get to know him & he is a good guy inside. You are forgetting church singles groups & their dances, potlucks, outings, Bible studies, small groups, etc. They are a great way to meet like-minded people & split up by age groups in the larger churches.
Love the analogy of crash and burn , chemistry vs trust. Just happened to me a lot of chemistry, not a lot of foundation and it's burning down! Hot cold push pull it is tiring
Very great video...I like your T shirt too. Thanks for recommending some good relevant books. I agree that its good to wait for a good relationship. High quality is worth waiting for.. ❤
I’m getting tripped up at the point of behaving as someone who the other person could FEEL comfortable with to truly open up HONESTLY and not leave out or misrepresent some really important aspects for fear of rejection…
I agree. I was so taken in when I met someone in the past that I was so attracted too that I lowered my standards. I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I ended up liking him more and more and craving that physical connection. I finally got over that infatuation.
Jonathan I have just become obsessed with your videos. You really have a way of personalizing your messages by sharing your own experiences. You really express wise common sense messages that we all need to hear repeatedly…obviously. Do you think your suggestions are as applicable for a youngish 66 yo dating 66-70’s year old men? We aren’t in mid life, but retirement chapter of life. It’s a scary place to try to connect, grow and establish another rest of life relationship. Do you have a different set of tips for us older ladies? Thank you for all your wonderful videos…you’re very funny in a real sort of way, and as handsome and cute as can be in the most endearing way. You have and share a true gift.
Hey! I'm 32 years old, divorced w/ 2 small little ones. I value your videos. They help a lot. Especially, this one! I've been in so many dysfunctional relationships that now my parents are afraid of seeing me date again. I told them about the guy I'm seeing now and already they're disapproving me to date at all. They want me to be single and just be there for my kids....mind you, my mom and dad divorced when I was 13...,my mom got married barely in 2015 and my dad is approaching 60 and finally ready to be in a relationship. That's not me. I want to find the right guy now and i've always been that way...so I'm learning how to be strong and sensitive to red flags now. I finally met someone who is really showing me he cares. He's different in a sense where he makes me feel like I'm the only one & puts me on a pedestal...the only red flag I got in the beginning was seeing myself push him away when he called a lot or always wanted to talk to me and worried if I wasn't answering his calls or worried where I was if I was going out with the girls, he wanted me safe. I was scared of him. He seemed to be serious about me and I'm not used to guys like that....I had to step away and look within myself and ask myself, "am I ready?" lol weird right?? lol we'll see where this goes! We've communicated and we seem to fit the discriptions so far of the iceberg pyramid. Thank you :)
Don’t waste your time You will be disappointed Once we make the mistake of marring and divorcing with children It’s almost impossible to meet someone They see you as a mom
@@motowngirl5891 this was a year ago lol. Not with that guy anymore. Wasn’t meant to be. However, started a new relationship. He’s someone dear to my heart. He has kids of his own and as do I. We want to be a family and discussing marriage. 💜 so he doesn’t view me as just a mom. It’s deeper than that.
Ugh our first date sparks flew everywhere . Just an instant attraction! Not just physically but spiritually as well. I just knew he was my soul mate!!💗💗 I cannot wait to see this man again I probably will not let him go
Thank you, I loved everything about this one... you're one to explain ideas so we can understand them ... for example high quality high value means an emotional grown up... Can't wait to investigate those dating vows 👀💜
Good Morning Jonathan I listening to this video and I can't agree more with alot of your points. I'm a 55 year old bachelor and retired business owner who works the nice easy-going retirement job in sunny Florida. My issues with dating echo all you've Said and I'm far from perfect. I'm damaged from my past and had some toxic relationships with Narcissistic woman. The relationship I've been in for the past 16 Months has been good but for me is missing the Nurturing side most women possess. My girlfriend is a workaholic not because she wants to, but because she financially has too. Two boys, one off to college now and other in two years. She still treats them as the most important thing in her life. I have no beef with that BUT and there's always a but. She rarely treats me as good as them and doesn't go out of her way to cook for Us. I do that 💯 at my house because I'm like to take care of someone and I'm a giver. After all thus time I see she really isn't. She so rapped up in her own life with all the responsibilities that there isn't alot energy left for us. Of course anytime I say sex, she is like ok because it's usually a great time. But besides that, our relationship lacks that touch of Nurturing woman who a man really grows to respect and love. I'm at a cross roads again Contemplating going back to being single. The dating world is horrible to say least but that's no reason to stay in something your not happy with. We've had serious talks but the actions don't last. Anyway your video touched upon the relationship with the children ansld thats what I deal with alot and I'm exhausted .
And yes there was a contentious ex situation and super close dad/daughter relationship. Definitely felt like I was walking in to more than one triangulation situation. He was very honest about his intentions however he did say he appreciated me and respected me all the time.. so that was confusing but we also had known eachother a long time prior.
If you’re dating a player or a love bomber but don’t know it yet, how will waiting to have sex say 3 months instead of 1 for example change the outcome?
Thank you for your teachings. Am learning a lot from the videos. What would you advise on long distance relationships...someone always saying he/she busy...
I'm 56 and never been married and men are just so predictable I have a son and found it hard to get into a relationship the last 5 years Last year got into a relationship nearly but he didn't want the same things and wasn't letting me be involved with hes family and I got it in the end He just wanted physical stuff and I didn't really get that far and he didn't come into my home Felt sad and desipointed I'm OK with being single Its the first time in a long time that I'm just happy with my own company xx
Dear Johnathon: love all your videos. I want to make a comment of course it's my appreciation. I don't know what's wrong: the more you reject a guy, the more they are interested. Why that? Disfuntional maybe? They just cannot accept rejection. I'm getting to the conclusion that Love is a sickness.
Jonathan, isn't it true that people want to work more/focus on their love interest and the relationship rather than themselves, which is what is needed to have a healthy relationship! It's backwards for most people. Thank you for guiding us to work on ourselves first. The rest will follow. 💕🧸
@@JonathonAslay I read and read and read and....and thought I knew "the answer" AND was right. I felt kinda tricked. Like that really long beginning and middle was filler to create a book they could sell.
Ya no trust understand. They can say trust all they want . But it got to be shown. some them get annoyed. so I been try get them to lead in the comfort zone they have. But only two have. so far.
I really could have used these vows (a real concrete tool) about 50 first dates ago. I love myself, and I am very much in my power…but even I have made errors in selection and investment. This was a great idea. PS. Love the imago and attachment stuff. Those books/information are among my first to recommend and I often share those too. 🙏🏻 Johnathon, one of the challenges I find about dating is how hard it is to have my family and friends watch me go on date after date, have short relationships so frequently, but nothing lasts. I get lots of friendships out of the deal, with great people, but statistically, when you break down the numbers, it IS a slog. Sometimes it takes one date, and sometimes it takes 8 weeks. Each time you have to be brave enough to step out there again. Married friends and family, just don’t get that. They’re starting to wonder if I’m “too picky”…and yet, I just know, THIS time I want to really SELECT my partner, not settle for my partner. Be conscious. Self-aware and with someone who is equally trying to be aware and grow. I try to keep stuff private…but it’s harder as an older widowed mom of young child, to date without the support of family and friends. Do you have any advice on how to explain modern dating easily?
PS. Jordan Peterson had a lot to say on the statistics and gender differences associated with online dating…VERY enlightening on the approach men and women take, and the vastly different experience the genders face. You might be interested in incorporating these to your subject matter.
Where is the list of books you recommend? Where is the list of relationship vows? I can reverse the video and find the books but can't find the vow list anywhere and I am interested in finding it because I might need it.
you see I am from family . we might hate each other some times. But we do not put them back inside that womb. You had sex they was that part. They have a purpose. meaning. Both Parents must realize. Kids matter . If the child hates me . Nope it not right for him I be wrong girl of his dreams.
Thank you for today's video; I found it particularly helpful. If I'm totally honest, it scares me sometimes how I'm so easily able to rationalize my behavior. For that reason alone I appreciate the reminders of the important points & concepts on a regular basis.
I went out and He approached me with a really drunk friend (who left) and started a conversation. Stated he was a lawyer and then asked why I was there. I told him i was Bored. He then said silly things and tried to be charming, bit I got really turned off when he said he likes to spank! I told him we're both adults and I wasn't going there. I ultimately told him he was awkward and walked away. He was probably in 40's and I'm in 50's. I was not impressed 🤨
Thankfully though, he was honest instead of pretending to be normal and doing said “awkwardness” with random women and hiding it, for YEARS. This happens a lot. These men make life seem like a nightmare/horror movie, not reality sometimes.
My children ‘s father treated me like hirable even after we had sex . I met him when I was thirteen and we didn’t have sex until I was sixteen . I really thought I knew him . I have been divorced for almost seven years . All my children are grown and you have to include the children too. Eighteen years of marriage he asked for a divorce and told me he was not in love with me anymore
@@JonathonAslay i answered as your talking .One seems to connect but we write. another was more ordering his feelings. yet another seems as a couple attitude. we have not met yet. But writing shows how they are. so far.all want to meet in future. Like I have not dated for 47 years. aha you said it one is think of how I feel to. Like I say it writing so far.
Hi there, I know it's off subject of video. This happened to me this weekend. The wine me, dine me and 69 me. I pulled out the money to go Dutch and got scolded at. He drove 5 hours to come and see me. How could I have saved myself?
If a man got mad because you offered to contribute to the meal, what does that say about him? Why would any man get mad at generosity? Sounds like anger/control issues to scold someone for a generous act?
Children you say can undermined a new relationship. Might be it not meant to be. Before you hook up date all that . you talk with him and children . If they are not going to work out that matter. It family kids going to out live us. If I date and the child say no . It will be over. You want the entire thing your head of household . Unless they are 21 then that be different.
I'm tired of the complainers,and it's not just your channel either. They are all over. At least I don't have to worry about the ex spouse. But, I wonder how long you should date before introducing the man to my family?
My sister instantly disliked the narcissist I was involved with for 5 years and my son ended up hating him because of how he treated me. Should have listened to them sooner. I ended up losing my house and a lot of money because he was taking it out of my bank account. After I threw him out, he set my basement on fire and I had to sell my house at a financial loss and great emotional cost after living there almost half my life. I have learned a lot about narcissists and red flags since then and hope I never repeat the same mistake. Most of the love bombing was things he did for me, the rest was superior sex. It was the best I ever had at first, then became awful and selfish on his part. Should have ended it years earlier but I wasn't ready because I was so immobilized by disappointment and resentment. The fires were set one week after I told him to move out and I always worried I'd pay for that when I did it and I was right.
I don't think they understand why you are giving us all the background information to why you don't go straight to the point. I believe if you remind us why you do this you wouldn't get the complaints? Just my observation.
@@JonathonAslay it ok if he loves me. her feelings matter . it a family it not 2 it three. I come from seven in mine . you do not want her hate you. Might be jealous tendencys that is important to notice. Before you connected. ppl can not control that feeling so it about how do they deal with it. safe or vandictive. your not a home wrecker . understand?
@@JonathonAslay a family me a girl replace a mother. Lets tell ya if child is not happy. It not a family . She matters . or he matters if a male child. respect needs . fair play needs. if you do not. like I say it not a family. You want a family? it what it is.
@@JonathonAslay TY sir we see eye to eye. I intend on being a good person. I can not change this because I like being nice. Your good to listen to. For like I have said I do only know myself. I do not exactly know men points. Even though I got brothers. My advantage there. some are only child now adults. So they got to talk to females to learn. Like I must talk to guys. To learn. It is not instant . They awoke me. I must say.
Ladies is you do understand the children are supposed to be the most important . They are if you gave birth. They are more important because they rely on us to teach them leadership. How to care for themselves when they leave the nest. Fact.
Hey Jonathan I need to tell you something I need to tell you something because I've been watching your videos for a couple of months now. And it's interesting because I know exactly who I am I know exactly what I've always wanted and I look at you and I think that you're so passionate and motivational. At the same time I don't like you. Did some research and I see you as a kind of flaky individual. I mean you're cool for who you are and what you do but you don't come across as deep at all whatsoever. You even know what's happening in the world today? I mean yeah the stuff is important but it's not going to be that important six months from now. I don't know I guess you got to do you you know. You're just really absorbed and wrapped up in this relationship stuff and it's not even going to matter. Just just wait and see what I'm talkin about
FREE Discovery Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching
Thank you!! The third reason helps calm my dysfunctional fears. The man I'm working to build a relationship with says he misses me often, as well as how much he appreciates me. Being long distance is so hard. Fortunately, I have a job that is portable and I'm exploring the possibility of relocating for a trial period to find out if after 20 years of being friends online there is enough substance to make a more permanent move. The three times he has come to visit me were amazing, but I need more than just amazing weekends whenever schedules allow. I want and need regular dates for a while to see what 'normal' life is like. I'm tired of the fantasy.
Watch this video... ruclips.net/video/Y8twr6q0hCk/видео.html
I appreciate you addressing the “ daughter issue” with mid life dating. I’ve encountered 3 men who are too caught up , if not codependent with their adult daughters life and neglect their own needs; dating.
I have also met these daughter-dependent men - they are obsessed with them!
Yes, that happens with men & daughter just like moms & sons... UGH!
It’s happened to me just recently. And, his daughter is a hot mess, and stresses him out. I told him that he doesn’t have to answer the phone…! Duh! I give up!
I have only met two men like this. It was an immediate turn off. I found it very creepy.
@@amandavictoriasewell7393 obsessed from guilt after divorce.
He hasn’t disappeared yet. He still hangs on, comes back . I like the attention . I’m enjoying our moments together. Thank you.
YW...
I hugged my dog!!! This is my first time watching (listening!!!) To you. Loved ya!! Thank you.
Wonderful!
Lord have mercy you are a breath of fresh air regarding the information you offer freely. I read your book "What the Heack is Self Love anyway". I absolutely loved it. So much common sense in each chapter. It was like reading a letter from a very close fried. Thanks for all the informative videos.
Wow, thank you!
Congratulations, you're almost @ 100,000 subscribers!!
Yes! Thank you! Praying it happens on Connor's birthday this Tuesday...
💃💥🔥🙏💃✨
I cannot have "chemistry" with someone that I do not truly know & trust. I can think a guy is "good looking", but that is it, & sometimes an "o.k looking" guy can become "good looking" if I get to know him & he is a good guy inside. You are forgetting church singles groups & their dances, potlucks, outings, Bible studies, small groups, etc. They are a great way to meet like-minded people & split up by age groups in the larger churches.
I hear ya
Attached - my biggest breakthrough tool bar none.
Love the analogy of crash and burn , chemistry vs trust. Just happened to me a lot of chemistry, not a lot of foundation and it's burning down! Hot cold push pull it is tiring
I hear ya...
I am tired of the people that complain on your channels. You are great and thank you for all this wisdom. 🙏🏽
WOW, thank you 😊
Thank you.
I'm glad that you're teaching us.
I'm a Senior and have lots to learn.
Your videos are so helpful, I appreciate the big picture and this one in particular is pertinent! I'm also enjoying your self love book, Thank you!
Awesome! Thank you!
Very great video...I like your T shirt too. Thanks for recommending some good relevant books. I agree that its good to wait for a good relationship. High quality is worth waiting for.. ❤
Exactly and thank you 😊
Appreciation is the key to everything
Selfishness is typically a red flag; it comes in all kinds of packages
15:00 great summary Jonathon
Exactly!
It broke my heart .I thought he felt the same as me.
I’m getting tripped up at the point of behaving as someone who the other person could FEEL comfortable with to truly open up HONESTLY and not leave out or misrepresent some really important aspects for fear of rejection…
That is brilliant advice! Thank you so much. Really very helpful!!!
Glad it was helpful!
you're chock full of golden nuggets! Thanks for all you do and say.
Wow, thank you!
I love your brutally honesty & truthfulness
I agree. I was so taken in when I met someone in the past that I was so attracted too that I lowered my standards. I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I ended up liking him more and more and craving that physical connection. I finally got over that infatuation.
Great video, but so are all your videos. I have been practically binge watching since I found your content.
awe... thank you.
Johnny Boy, enjoyed listening to everything you had to say. All is valide. Best of luck with your new lady. xxxx
Jonathan I have just become obsessed with your videos. You really have a way of personalizing your messages by sharing your own experiences. You really express wise common sense messages that we all need to hear repeatedly…obviously. Do you think your suggestions are as applicable for a youngish 66 yo dating 66-70’s year old men? We aren’t in mid life, but retirement chapter of life. It’s a scary place to try to connect, grow and establish another rest of life relationship. Do you have a different set of tips for us older ladies? Thank you for all your wonderful videos…you’re very funny in a real sort of way, and as handsome and cute as can be in the most endearing way. You have and share a true gift.
Appreciate you’ve actually thought over these dating vows, you must’ve gone through something to arrive at these conclusions n then share! ♥️
I felt quite a shift in my energy body when you did that prayer to God/universe felt like huge weight had lifted of my chest. Thankyou❤
Regarding complaining, for some people that is the tool they have for communication. Good reason to up those skills.
Hey! I'm 32 years old, divorced w/ 2 small little ones. I value your videos. They help a lot. Especially, this one! I've been in so many dysfunctional relationships that now my parents are afraid of seeing me date again. I told them about the guy I'm seeing now and already they're disapproving me to date at all. They want me to be single and just be there for my kids....mind you, my mom and dad divorced when I was 13...,my mom got married barely in 2015 and my dad is approaching 60 and finally ready to be in a relationship. That's not me. I want to find the right guy now and i've always been that way...so I'm learning how to be strong and sensitive to red flags now. I finally met someone who is really showing me he cares. He's different in a sense where he makes me feel like I'm the only one & puts me on a pedestal...the only red flag I got in the beginning was seeing myself push him away when he called a lot or always wanted to talk to me and worried if I wasn't answering his calls or worried where I was if I was going out with the girls, he wanted me safe. I was scared of him. He seemed to be serious about me and I'm not used to guys like that....I had to step away and look within myself and ask myself, "am I ready?" lol weird right?? lol we'll see where this goes! We've communicated and we seem to fit the discriptions so far of the iceberg pyramid. Thank you :)
Don’t waste your time
You will be disappointed
Once we make the mistake of marring and divorcing with children
It’s almost impossible to meet someone
They see you as a mom
@@motowngirl5891 this was a year ago lol. Not with that guy anymore. Wasn’t meant to be. However, started a new relationship. He’s someone dear to my heart. He has kids of his own and as do I. We want to be a family and discussing marriage. 💜 so he doesn’t view me as just a mom. It’s deeper than that.
Thanks for posting the vows!
Ugh our first date sparks flew everywhere . Just an instant attraction! Not just physically but spiritually as well. I just knew he was my soul mate!!💗💗 I cannot wait to see this man again I probably will not let him go
Thanks for sharing!!
This was excellent advice!!!
Thank you, I loved everything about this one... you're one to explain ideas so we can understand them ... for example high quality high value means an emotional grown up... Can't wait to investigate those dating vows 👀💜
Life Moves Pretty fast ....Ferris Beuller t shirt I'm getting that shirt. Love your channel. Thank 😊 🙏
You are wonderful and wise, JA! x
THX
Jonathon, you are the best! Thank you!
So true.,,these are all incredible key points!!! I’ve never been married but would like to some day & have valued a solid foundation.
Absolutely!!
Good Morning Jonathan
I listening to this video and I can't agree more with alot of your points. I'm a 55 year old bachelor and retired business owner who works the nice easy-going retirement job in sunny Florida.
My issues with dating echo all you've Said and I'm far from perfect. I'm damaged from my past and had some toxic relationships with Narcissistic woman. The relationship I've been in for the past 16 Months has been good but for me is missing the Nurturing side most women possess. My girlfriend is a workaholic not because she wants to, but because she financially has too. Two boys, one off to college now and other in two years. She still treats them as the most important thing in her life. I have no beef with that BUT and there's always a but. She rarely treats me as good as them and doesn't go out of her way to cook for Us. I do that 💯 at my house because I'm like to take care of someone and I'm a giver. After all thus time I see she really isn't. She so rapped up in her own life with all the responsibilities that there isn't alot energy left for us. Of course anytime I say sex, she is like ok because it's usually a great time. But besides that, our relationship lacks that touch of Nurturing woman who a man really grows to respect and love.
I'm at a cross roads again Contemplating going back to being single. The dating world is horrible to say least but that's no reason to stay in something your not happy with. We've had serious talks but the actions don't last.
Anyway your video touched upon the relationship with the children ansld thats what I deal with alot and I'm exhausted .
Happy to hear it helped... 😊
❤️🙏❤️ for sharing and your guidance.
Yes tired of them.
Love health peace and light from a female Virgo from Denmark 🇩🇰😀
And yes there was a contentious ex situation and super close dad/daughter relationship. Definitely felt like I was walking in to more than one triangulation situation. He was very honest about his intentions however he did say he appreciated me and respected me all the time.. so that was confusing but we also had known eachother a long time prior.
If you’re dating a player or a love bomber but don’t know it yet, how will waiting to have sex say 3 months instead of 1 for example change the outcome?
Thank you for your teachings. Am learning a lot from the videos. What would you advise on long distance relationships...someone always saying he/she busy...
It doesn’t matter if you hold out, they will move on anywats
Amen 🙏😇🙌 Thank you Jonathan. 💋💕💕
I'm 56 and never been married and men are just so predictable I have a son and found it hard to get into a relationship the last 5 years Last year got into a relationship nearly but he didn't want the same things and wasn't letting me be involved with hes family and I got it in the end He just wanted physical stuff and I didn't really get that far and he didn't come into my home
Felt sad and desipointed I'm OK with being single Its the first time in a long time that I'm just happy with my own company xx
Interesting, would love to join! I live in South Africa Johannesburg 🇿🇦
Hope you can too
Thanks for this! It helped me a lot 😊 are you sure you're not a sociologist 😅????
Can a guy you like exhibit similarities to your Dad and be good for you or should you stay away from that person 🤔???
I'm not 😁
It's simple:) men and women have to see the BS for what IT is!😎🥳🍀
Indeed...
It’s crazy how much you almost look related to the actor Dennis Quaid!! I had to do a double take! Wow!
Wow, thanks!
Remind me never to be sipping liquids when I’m listening to you❣️
Everyone today is throwing each other under the bus....love is dead... Evil rules the planet...
Dear Johnathon: love all your videos. I want to make a comment of course it's my appreciation. I don't know what's wrong: the more you reject a guy, the more they are interested. Why that? Disfuntional maybe? They just cannot accept rejection. I'm getting to the conclusion that Love is a sickness.
Love isn't a sickness... mental & emotional health is lacking in most folks due to unhealed traumas from childhood & adulthood.
Jonathan, isn't it true that people want to work more/focus on their love interest and the relationship rather than themselves, which is what is needed to have a healthy relationship! It's backwards for most people. Thank you for guiding us to work on ourselves first. The rest will follow. 💕🧸
"Heck No"!! 😁👏🏻👌🏻🧡
(First but not last time here).
some say they miss me. I miss them too. I jump when they write. so far.
I understand...
Great T-shirt 👍
I read Harville eons ago and found they took a frustratingly loooong time to get to the point - at the very end.
why did that bother you?
@@JonathonAslay I read and read and read and....and thought I knew "the answer" AND was right. I felt kinda tricked. Like that really long beginning and middle was filler to create a book they could sell.
As always you are amazing 👍
Thank you so much 😀
Ya no trust understand. They can say trust all they want . But it got to be shown. some them get annoyed. so I been try get them to lead in the comfort zone they have. But only two have. so far.
I do like your shirt 😊😊 and advise
thank you for those “Vows” before sex
They are so important…
I really could have used these vows (a real concrete tool) about 50 first dates ago. I love myself, and I am very much in my power…but even I have made errors in selection and investment.
This was a great idea.
PS. Love the imago and attachment stuff. Those books/information are among my first to recommend and I often share those too. 🙏🏻
Johnathon, one of the challenges I find about dating is how hard it is to have my family and friends watch me go on date after date, have short relationships so frequently, but nothing lasts. I get lots of friendships out of the deal, with great people, but statistically, when you break down the numbers, it IS a slog. Sometimes it takes one date, and sometimes it takes 8 weeks. Each time you have to be brave enough to step out there again. Married friends and family, just don’t get that. They’re starting to wonder if I’m “too picky”…and yet, I just know, THIS time I want to really SELECT my partner, not settle for my partner. Be conscious. Self-aware and with someone who is equally trying to be aware and grow.
I try to keep stuff private…but it’s harder as an older widowed mom of young child, to date without the support of family and friends.
Do you have any advice on how to explain modern dating easily?
PS. Jordan Peterson had a lot to say on the statistics and gender differences associated with online dating…VERY enlightening on the approach men and women take, and the vastly different experience the genders face. You might be interested in incorporating these to your subject matter.
Where is the list of books you recommend? Where is the list of relationship vows? I can reverse the video and find the books but can't find the vow list anywhere and I am interested in finding it because I might need it.
Nice tee shirt!
Same High school together. Meant up again 1997.
Stop and listen to what's been said ladies
Earn and build are different words, same meaning.
In my book, earn is one sided and build is co created... or at least, that's what I meant.
Building is mutual 💞
Where did you post the vows, Jonathan?
It's in every description on the videos...
@@JonathonAslay Oh!! Okay! Thank you!! I just found it and took a screenshot! Thanks!! 🌷✨
Cool as a cucumber tonight there Jonathan. Lol 😎
When you meet a man and really want a relationship with him at an older age...really older....is it still a HUNT ??
Do older women always look for younger men??
Hunting what?
Thank you!
You're welcome!
So, you mean to say there are no well meaning real men who want a relationship, who are interested in the person the girl is?! How can one tell?
There are lots of men emotional mature enough for a secure relationship and I teach how to spot the ones who are vs the ones who will waste your time.
You're COOL JONATHAN 😚🌹
11:39 🤣🤣🤣
you see I am from family . we might hate each other some times. But we do not put them back inside that womb. You had sex they was that part. They have a purpose. meaning. Both Parents must realize. Kids matter .
If the child hates me . Nope it not right for him I be wrong girl of his dreams.
I like your shirt , Jonathan , and I greatly appreciate your talks and videos . They certainly are worth it !
yes Nancy is correct.it just she writes better.
Thank you for today's video; I found it particularly helpful. If I'm totally honest, it scares me sometimes how I'm so easily able to rationalize my behavior. For that reason alone I appreciate the reminders of the important points & concepts on a regular basis.
I went out and He approached me with a really drunk friend (who left) and started a conversation. Stated he was a lawyer and then asked why I was there. I told him i was Bored. He then said silly things and tried to be charming, bit I got really turned off when he said he likes to spank! I told him we're both adults and I wasn't going there. I ultimately told him he was awkward and walked away. He was probably in 40's and I'm in 50's. I was not impressed 🤨
Thx for sharing
He was fetish shopping
Thankfully though, he was honest instead of pretending to be normal and doing said “awkwardness” with random women and hiding it, for YEARS.
This happens a lot. These men make life seem like a nightmare/horror movie, not reality sometimes.
@@Linda-eo1tc THIS. You hit the nail on the head.
So tired of the complainers!
guys always take time .
On what?
Really intense, solid stuff. ..
Great points to internalize + use. .
Really makes me think about the person's we run into. .
Thank you, Jonathon ❤
@@JonathonAslay They just have to think for 24 hours they work it out. They need time. which they should.
So, men are self sufficient, no need for a secure, happy, healthy, functional relationship?!
My children ‘s father treated me like hirable even after we had sex . I met him when I was thirteen and we didn’t have sex until I was sixteen . I really thought I knew him . I have been divorced for almost seven years . All my children are grown and you have to include the children too. Eighteen years of marriage he asked for a divorce and told me he was not in love with me anymore
GO AND GET A KLENEX LOL U ARE FUNNY BUT WHAT U SAY ABOUT PEOPLE IS SO RIGHT SENDING U A BIG KLENEX LOL AND A BIG HUG DEAR JONATHON
I need that cup😉🤣🤣🤣❤
i think one does.
One does what?
@@JonathonAslay i answered as your talking .One seems to connect but we write. another was more ordering his feelings. yet another seems as a couple attitude. we have not met yet. But writing shows how they are. so far.all want to meet in future. Like I have not dated for 47 years. aha you said it one is think of how I feel to. Like I say it writing so far.
nope
Hi there, I know it's off subject of video. This happened to me this weekend. The wine me, dine me and 69 me. I pulled out the money to go Dutch and got scolded at. He drove 5 hours to come and see me. How could I have saved myself?
If a man got mad because you offered to contribute to the meal, what does that say about him? Why would any man get mad at generosity? Sounds like anger/control issues to scold someone for a generous act?
@@JonathonAslay thank you so much. This went through my mind. Now I have you where I want you. You don't find men who respect a woman.
@@whynot5846 I know lots of men who respect and value women...
@@JonathonAslay yes, lots of them
Children you say can undermined a new relationship. Might be it not meant to be. Before you hook up date all that . you talk with him and children . If they are not going to work out that matter. It family kids going to out live us. If I date and the child say no . It will be over. You want the entire thing your head of household . Unless they are 21 then that be different.
I think it was sow seeds. not hunting. Your too funny. lol
Thx
I'm tired of the complainers,and it's not just your channel either. They are all over.
At least I don't have to worry about the ex spouse. But, I wonder how long you should date before introducing the man to my family?
Exactly!
My sister instantly disliked the narcissist I was involved with for 5 years and my son ended up hating him because of how he treated me. Should have listened to them sooner. I ended up losing my house and a lot of money because he was taking it out of my bank account. After I threw him out, he set my basement on fire and I had to sell my house at a financial loss and great emotional cost after living there almost half my life. I have learned a lot about narcissists and red flags since then and hope I never repeat the same mistake. Most of the love bombing was things he did for me, the rest was superior sex. It was the best I ever had at first, then became awful and selfish on his part. Should have ended it years earlier but I wasn't ready because I was so immobilized by disappointment and resentment. The fires were set one week after I told him to move out and I always worried I'd pay for that when I did it and I was right.
Stop complaining. Let this man speak his mind and his truth. Complaining gets you nowhere fast.
I don't think they understand why you are giving us all the background information to why you don't go straight to the point. I believe if you remind us why you do this you wouldn't get the complaints? Just my observation.
Good point
the weeds lol funny. the daughter should come first. it is a family she is added. but ya child in my ideas would come first.
Doing that give the daughter a lot of power...
@@JonathonAslay it ok if he loves me. her feelings matter . it a family it not 2 it three. I come from seven in mine . you do not want her hate you. Might be jealous tendencys that is important to notice. Before you connected. ppl can not control that feeling so it about how do they deal with it. safe or vandictive. your not a home wrecker . understand?
@@JonathonAslay a family me a girl replace a mother. Lets tell ya if child is not happy. It not a family . She matters . or he matters if a male child. respect needs . fair play needs. if you do not. like I say it not a family. You want a family? it what it is.
oh nothing is ideal we understand. You be realistic. look for good ethics quality.
Exactly!
@@JonathonAslay TY sir we see eye to eye. I intend on being a good person. I can not change this because I like being nice. Your good to listen to. For like I have said I do only know myself. I do not exactly know men points. Even though I got brothers. My advantage there. some are only child now adults. So they got to talk to females to learn. Like I must talk to guys. To learn. It is not instant . They awoke me. I must say.
Ladies is you do understand the children are supposed to be the most important . They are if you gave birth. They are more important because they rely on us to teach them leadership. How to care for themselves when they leave the nest. Fact.
That's true and at the same time, children can undermine new relationships.
Hey Jonathan I need to tell you something I need to tell you something because I've been watching your videos for a couple of months now. And it's interesting because I know exactly who I am I know exactly what I've always wanted and I look at you and I think that you're so passionate and motivational. At the same time I don't like you. Did some research and I see you as a kind of flaky individual. I mean you're cool for who you are and what you do but you don't come across as deep at all whatsoever. You even know what's happening in the world today? I mean yeah the stuff is important but it's not going to be that important six months from now. I don't know I guess you got to do you you know. You're just really absorbed and wrapped up in this relationship stuff and it's not even going to matter. Just just wait and see what I'm talkin about
Ok