99% of Guys Respect Women Who Know THIS!
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- Опубликовано: 16 окт 2024
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Get Him To Commit Before Sleeping Together (The Dating Vow)
Have you ever heard the saying: Women are the gatekeepers of sex, and men are the gatekeepers of commitment?
The "Dating VOW" Before Sleeping Together
I ___________________ agree to explore the process of getting to know you with the intent to declare something serious in the next 3 to 6 months.
I ___________________ agree to be monogamous sexual while we have regular sex together
I ___________________ agree to not actively seek to meet/date others while we are in this dating process (include taking down dating profile)
I ___________________ agree to speak up if this isn't working for me vs. pulling back, ghosting or disappearing
I __________________ agree to invest regular time in this process of getting to know you which looks like this ______________
90% of men will bail on this because thousands of women will have sex without any commitment/agreement whatsoever. If all women are banned together (going forward), this will change how men treat/view sex, but in the meantime, if he does agree, you have a better chance of commitment than without it.
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You hit the nail . What a fantastic advice . I rather go back to the 1980’s when dating was more genuine. Keep these great videos coming .
I always say thank you when a guy holds a door open for me when I’m entering either the grocery store or the post office etc.
👍🏼🙏👍🏼
I say thank you to anyone that holds the door for me. I hold the door for anyone as well. If they don’t say thank you, it’s on them. I don’t stop holding the door for ppl bc of a bad apple.
I never take things like that for granted
I've never needed anyone to feel good about myself, I swear to God.. but I want somebody that cares about me, who wants to be alone? but I'm not settling for people that disrespect me, I did that most of my life. I was a giver and a nurtured a rescuer, no more.
Good for you. I'm the same and I'm not doing it anymore
The Paradox of Choice is a great book that speaks to this. People are looking for the next best thing/person. Social media and dating apps have truly bastardized dating. Not to mention all the people, who have a partner who believe they're in a committed relationship, yet they're seeking attention, sex and the thrill of newness outside of the relationship.
Pain that is not transformed in us will always be transmitted from us
Exactly...
Online dating is far more frustrating than enjoyable. I’m one of the women who swipe right only 5 percent.
Based on 20 years of trial and error experiences in on-and-off online dating, my of my reasons are:
profiles that aren’t filled out, few or no pictures, short or no descriptions, anger towards and misconceptions of women in the descriptions, sounding overly romantic or needy, unkempt appearance in pictures, and demands and bossiness in descriptions.
I figure that, if they’re unwilling to show effort by filling out their profile, to show patience and respect of women, etc., in their profile, they will not do so in a relationship. If they are unwilling to show, at least, a little vulnerability in their profile, they likely won’t be honest and open up emotionally in a relationship.
amen sister!
You are spot on! I was dating this same thing yesterday while swiping to the Left
Jonathan as always thank you for putting yourself out there for us. I just walked away from someone. Wow you described him when you talked about yourself going through a divorce. I have self love & know my worth. I totally loved your questions. Part of my self journey is to watch you Jonathan. You give me faith there are kind beautiful men that want a no games commitment. I'm very grateful 🙏. Sending love to all.
I absolutely love your vulnerability, it is so refreshing, honest and forthright. thank you for being you and doing what you do-You are very much appreciated.
Really solid stuff here. As a man, I greatly value your content Jonathon. While your target audience is women, your views / comments are well balanced, in my opinion. I’d only wish perhaps you could expand your coaching to guys for a ‘reality check consultation’ call. I feel so related to what you’re saying and perhaps it would benefit you too reflect upon different male perspectives when speaking to all of us. As a Man, I started my work back in the early 90s with a book called The Dance Of Intimacy. Keep up your book recommendations; love all the reminders. This video is an affirmation I’m of the right mindset and path with my renewed journey to seek a whole partnership with someone. And, my atttitude for approaching a dating situation? treat them like I treat my friends.
I have worked with men...
@@JonathonAslay Great, I'll send email at some point. thanks
Nice
A lot of people victimise themself and then wait for others to fix them and give them all they want. But real connection needs to heal yourself and your expectations. If someone is treating you like trash, its about them and their inner wounded child, its never about you. When you kow this its easier to have healthy boundaris and give yourself a lot of respect. And when you heal yourself you dont need any strategy because you give and act from space of you deepest heart. Dont wait for others, fix yourself, read that book, go to therapy, bond with new friends, give yourself a lot of fun and confetti in your life
Exactly
To be respected, we all have to learn to respect ourselves first. Respect is earned, not given freely.
Like an answered prayer, you spoke to me!
It was as if someone heard what I’ve been pondering but unable to articulate.
Thank you for one of the most spot-on & relevant dating insights…
I especially valued focusing on common oversights & current practices that seem to condition us to disrespect ourselves and/or others:
1. online date site “swiping”. (it does actually seem very shallow - as if others are easily dispensable).
2. physical intimacy before confirming genuine care and/or commitment. I love acknowledging that we should WAIT first and “ask” real deep questions that really matter beforehand to become “very well-acquainted”
3. both guys & gals must treat each other with mutual politeness & consideration
4. chivalry
5. overload of dating tips full of game-playing with short-term benefits
- that tend to be counter-intuitive
6. self-care to heal trauma and to prevent dysfunctional entanglements
7. and all other recommendations
I might call someday - when I don’t feel l would break down in tears.
You nailed this video. I have gotten so frustrated with the men I have met lately - I don't get how smart, educated men have emotional intimacy issues and do zero work to heal. I say my standards upfront and scare off the WRONG men. Thank you.
Because a lot of men have been conditioned by this narrative in the last 20 years or so to just shag and run. Women made it easy for them to have sex with no strings attached, so why should men invest any emotions? If you don't spread your legs, they are going to find others who will. They are no tinterested in any work. And as long as women continue to be easy they will lose.
Jonathan you really hit the nail on the head. I truly enjoyed what you shared today. I went on eharmony and met someone who brought his 2 dogs 🐕 with him. I love animals however his two dogs were male and he wasn’t here for two minutes and one of his dogs crapped on my front porch. Allen cleaned it up, although his other dog lifted his leg the minute he came in the house. Allen did nothing to correct the dogs behavior. Allen seemed nice easy to talk to. Jonathan I’m sick of these men who thinks you’re going to go to bed with them on the first date. I explained to him that wasn’t going to happen, that he needs to get to know me first and foremost. We visited for a while then I sent him on his way. I haven’t heard from him since. True colors show’s me he was only in it for role in the hay. I appreciate your coaching here so very much. Thanks 😊😊😊
Excuse me why would you invite a man to your house for a first date
You're very welcome 🙏
@@jeanlives6032 true. You don't know him from Adam. He could've killed you. Thankfully he wasn't a criminal but still...
Jonathan, I love watching you and listening to you share your thoughts, ideas, experiences with us in your audience. I feel like I learn from you. Thank you for your RUclips channel. I’m loving that you are participating in a loving and learning relationship. You have my best wishes for your happiness.
Awe.. thank you 🙏
Hi Jon, I was feeling so lonely and the kindness in your voice soothed me. Thank you.
Awe... thank you 🙏
I agree with you on all of this. One advice guy was teaching how to trigger his childhood insecurities. Are you kidding me? I have to become some kind of evil manipulator to date? No thanks! The best thing that ever happened to me was enjoying my own company.
Exactly
I've seen some of your videos and yes you always nailed it!!!! All what you said are absolutely real unlike other advisers very conventional not realistic at all. Keep it up!
I appreciate that!
I love chivalry and thank goodness it still exists. I agree with you 100% on the destruction technology has reaped upon relationships and common sense! The dating game has become such a cesspool of mind games and manipulative tactics, right now, I just don't have the patience for the BS!
1. In what way can I improve upon as a partner?
2. Do you have any needs that you feel are being neglected.
3. Is there something I have done that you are still hurt over, what do you need from me to help you heal.
4. What can I do to help you feel more loved?
Thank you! 🫶🏼
I Love Your Shirt! Thank You for Another Great Video! Much Love❣️
WOW, thank you 😊
Enjoying your videos Jonathon. Thank you for all the most recent! I’m dating from online dating site, and it’s going well. But I’ve been watching you for almost a year. Lots of learning with you. XXOO
The truth is I have a phobia of being alone getting hurt and having my heart broken and crying my eyes out wondering why people are so mean to me if I deal with anxiety and depression and other health issues I have a fear of it destroying my relationship with anyone who doesn't understand me and what I go through. Even parents can hurt you if you have a father who doesn't understand you or hurts you regardless of age if they make them feel bad about themselves because they don't understand what they are going through and the way men treat their daughters determins how men treat their girlfriend or wife and son as well their girlfriend or wife why can't they be better role models to them
It would be great if we all had perfect parents to lessen our challenges in this life. For me, which took me a very long time to learn is: They are just people too, and they have their own issues, challenges with how they were raised as well. At some point, we just have to accept the cards we are dealt and do the very best we can to heal & grow into who we want to be as a person. I hope this helps you.
I feel for you. I'm the sad. I have put my foot down !!!!
I appreciate and love how you teach , on love and respect yourself first and foremost. Your a God send.
Awe... thank you 🙏
Political opinions that differ on values are big deal breakers.
I really appreciate your dating advice. Just wondering though did you know that your microphone volume is low? I have to turn my volume all the way up on the video to hear you better.
Yes volume was very kow
Jonathon you are performing your mission in the NOW HERE life ( physical form). You came from NOWHERE ( spiritual form)...and the Highest Power ( God) equipped you with DNA, circumstances and life experiences...) preparing you to perform a specific mission in this human experience. You got flaws and qualities and hurts and strengths...everything boils down to this moment where you are doing your mission. I am glad my eyes are open to see this manifesting. I am privileged to learn from you every single day. I appreciate you Jonathon. My love life becomes better , mature and spiritual every single day because I get lucky to learn from your wisdom from free. Truly, you are living up to your mission in this physical life. I am changed and humbled and led to heal and focus on inner healing because of your work . I know I am experiencing love not lust...i know he has my best interests at heart...i know he wants to grow with me...a big testimony is coming your way.
Thank you Jonathon...i really appreciate your work.
ahhh thank you
Thank God chivalry is not completely dead. What woman wouldn’t love this extra special attention!! ♥️
🙏
You know, if a gentleman took me to dinner, I buy coffee at the shop down the Lane, I pay the parking toll ticket. I make dinner or lunch on the next date, Or I buy cream many times after dinner. But Jonathan, if I split the Bill or buy him dinner, I won’t feel like a lady, he’ll feel like a buddy. There’s the very basics that a man should do else it takes the romance out of the whole date. I’m also conscious of what I eat and drink and keep it to a limit. I’m mindful of that.
Can you elaborate why you won't feel like a lady?
@@JonathonAslay woman have an innate desire to be cared for by a provider. Sure, we nurture and take care of our man but we don't want to be the man.
It like pulling out a ladies chair on a date. If the lady has to pull out the chair for the man then the balance is off🤷♀️
Not a good vibe
TY DEAR JONATHON U SAID IT ALL TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO SAY THAT WHEN U MENTIONED I QUOTE IF U ARE SOME ONE NEW LOL NO I AM A MIDDLE AGE WOMAN LISTENING TO YOUR VERY WISE RECOMENDATIONS SENDING YOU A VERY BIG HUG AND YES THAT IS SO SWEET OF U TO SAY I NEED TO ASK MY GIRLFRIEND WHAT SHOULD I DO TO BE A BETTER MAN!!!!!!!!!1COMUNICATION IS VERY IMPORTANT
All those recommended books are so many and so thick that by the time we read them all it will be no time left to apply what we read.
Been months since checking in here. Chivalry is still alive, just more rare .
I have been out of the loop however did hear you say the words " my girlfriend" here. I believe you were still out there dating when I last checked in, I may be incorrect and mean zero pretention. I do need to get up to speed here. Newer love or longterm, what matters is growth.
Very nice presentation today,thankyou.
TY 🙏
One doesn’t need technology or the swipe you mentioned/apps in order to meet the right person in your life to make you happy and to look after you. Trust and respect are necessary for commitment purposes.
Can you higher you volume? Air conditioning and phone setting on max can't hear as well on cell phone. Thanks
I can’t even say that I swipe right only 5%. When I started out I thought the person on whom I swiped right had a chance to be a good fit. But now, a few years later, I know that just a photo and some text is not only minimum information, it is no information at all.
Mostly a catfish. So you have to validate you are dealing with a local potential person to date first before anything else.
You are a great coach Jonathon
So it’s up to the universe right now because my own efforts are not going anywhere.
I realize he is pulling away and there are so many reasons in his life he needs to pay attention to. When he can’t handle something he pulls away. He has difficulty in opening up. Yes you are so honest about issues, and I appreciate that.yes your right I wait for him to call. It’s rough. Part of me wants to let go. My life is not exciting when I was younger it was lots of fun. I guess I said enough. I enjoy your show it makes sense. Thanks
Thanks for sharing 🙏
Why not try to make your life exciting again as a single person before you start dating again? It will give you a whole new perspective
Hi Jonathan. Thank you as always for your invaluable help and information. It is much appreciated as always. You are so down to earth and your advice and explanations are so easy to understand and to follow. Your girlfriend is so lucky to have someone like yourself. Thanks again and very best wishes.
Wisdom & insight Jonathon.
I swipe most left
Why because no profile photo or any writing
Or have a cigarette in there hand or drink.
So many people profiles don’t sell themselves.
Sad opportunity on line.. They are really ugly, no smile, don't represent themselves by Not wearing a shirt, or if they look too good...it's a fake ad asking for money fishbait.
I met someone, and we were texting for a month or so. A week ago asked me to get a date, but he didn't show up. I got a text, while I was waiting for him, telling me he got a call from work, and that he couldn't make it. He texted me the next day and then disappeared. But is this disrespectful behaviour or a hurt person that we need to show compassion for? I choose to believe the second. I will continue to give giant hugs to people, like you Jonathon, no matter that. And keep my focus on loving myself.
Love is always a better option than judgment or worse, hate.
It is disrespectful. You need healthy boundaries
So, I talked to someone on a dating app yesterday and he was all ready to come and take me to dinner, he lived far but was so eager, when we connected on WhatsApp he called but I cut the call and made him see my picture first. Then I called him and after a few minutess and I went so are we catching up and he goes no no there’s a cricket match today i need to watch it.i forgot, may be another day. Made me feel sad but I realise its better. I know my value in his eyes and that I don’t want to see him if he’s free another day.
I agree with Johnathan, but this guy was very disrespectful towards you and actually wasted your time. I’m thinking if you texted for a month? Hmmm. That’s already kind of odd, I think. Not showing up is just plain rude. I don’t believe that excuse he gave you at all. If he was off that day but “on call” for some reason, he should have let you know that was a possibility in advance. It doesn’t matter if he is a “hurt” person or not. WE ARE ALL HURT people in some way or other. There’s no excuse for rude behavior.
@@suzannedawson6330 Suzanne is 1000% correct!!
I love this video, covers a lot of insight x
Good talk BIG BIG HUGGS TO YOU Jonathan ♥️
A first date should be a walk so you can learn about them.
Don’t criticize, don’t analyze, just realize.
It’s really not a mess it’s how you see it.
Wake up and use your intuitive skills.
I let him go. Yesterday I think.
You think?
I ask myself about the men who act this way (knowing women are guilty of it too) might be partially due to how they were raised as boys. We can get at the root cause if mothers are raising their boys to be responsible and respecting to all people. Sadly lots of moms are pulled in a lot of directions, whether due to finances or divorce and teenagers by their very nature are challenging.
Yes! We need more fun singles only events. There are a lot in Atlanta for couples but it would be great to go somewhere I think is fun with other single people there with similar interests. It would be so much easier to meet great people organically with low pressure.
I don’t know how other methods will work for me…I live alone, I work alone, and I don’t hang out on bars. I think what’s needed for me anyway, is perhaps a live matchmaker.
Which of course will be way over budget.
Love This, and Love Your Content Jonathon...
Thank You~🙏
TY 🙏
I am in process of letting a man in my life go. It's happening as I have health issues that depend on this. I will be focusing on my physical and mental health for at least a. Year. Thanks Jonathan et all.
You're welcome...
Jonathon I stopped the $20 that was charged on my credit card; I thought the $7.00 was a one time contribution toyou. I cannot give you $20.a month toward your Group. Thank you for the offer and I apologize for not being able to help any more.
I think in small places there are not a lot of choices. And i do swipe most because of distance and age gap.
Great work as always!
Awe... thank you 🙏
If a woman is experiencing continual disrespect from men, then she needs to look within and ask why she allows it and stop blaming men. Usually, there are common denominators and signs that those type of men put out there. She needs to learn to recognize the pattern and break it.
You could use a little more volume. My phone is on max and im struggling to hear you.
Can hear him fine on low volume here ?
@@megja1812 i watch youtube on my phone a lot, on my tv I can crank the volume up quite a bit but my phone is quieter.
Jonathon could you so kindly repeat these 4 main points again, thank you so much 💓 a
Will do, I'll shoot another video.
Have experienced disrespect much of the time. It's weird that people trust their most private, intimate parts having sex with strangers; which makes for many awkward situations, unrealistic expectations, hurt feelings, amongst other profound risks
While I'm on dating sites and apps (not at the moment), if men would be honest and forthright about their height, I'd be contacting a load more of them. Then I could get on to learning more about them. I'm 5'7 and strong from my work; my late spouse was 6'2." I regret I'm so tiresome a product of evolution, but ... it's damned hard to feel any electricity if he hasn't a physicality comparable to my own. So many of them figure they'll round it WAY up, then when we meet, they think they're going to wow me with their otherwise wonderful selves. Doesn't work. I'm so tired of the dishonesty. I'm thinking if I ever go back on (right now I'm reading your book, 8 Dates and the Hoffman Method is next), I'm going to say "Let's text driver's licenses to each other so we can see each other's real age and height. I'm also not wearing make-up on Zoom calls anymore. I'm trying to be real from moment one; I need them to do the same. And, I absolutely agree about the philistine entitlement mentality of some women.
THX for sharing
@biondna. As a Man that recently joined the online dating scene, I appreciate and got a chuckle from your reply. I really am 5 ‘ 9”, but first reviewed the profiles of men in my area and age, and was surprised to find almost everyone is 6 foot or taller! The laugh to myself was, I don ‘t stand a chance! I’m cursed - lol. Don’t know a better way of saying it, but people that are untrue about their age, height, etc, believe it gives them an edge. They are lying to themselves, and in turn to everyone else. I have to assume it’s coming from insecurity.
@@mrknowitall9778 A man with your confidence and graciousness will meet and charm all kinds of appreciative women. I wish you the best.
So what is the one thing?
It's not just one thing...
Yes. Lucky if I swipe right to 5 percent of profiles. Because pics or unkempt horrible men selfies, no information or widowed military scammer profile. Not wasting time in no nonsense profiles . There are men that are local but is feeling like finding a needle in a haystack!!
I had online dates and three fiancées, all online. Yet, none of them tried to meet with me in person. My first boyfriend asked me to be his girlfriend on Facebook and then he tells me on the phone that we had to have sex right away. I dropped him. Online dating is an interaction. I made two good friends on Second Life, so it feels nice to share things like virtual shopping, dancing, going to church, doing yoga, visiting libraries, swimming, native American reservations and skiing. It's fun, but it doesn't lead to sharing a home life. Once you turn off the computer, you're sleeping and waking up alone.
How can you be engaged and never having met them, that's madness.
@@endeavouringit You like each other. Then, you have the daily conversations. You share life goals. Many people fall in love online. I have a cousin that met his online fianceé, they got married, and had two children together. What's crazy is a superficial relationship that leads to marrying someone you never find out if you share values together and have no plans to do things together.
Treat others how you would like to be treated
Exactly
I feel bad for emailing him that he better not bring any of his girlfriends to my home. Our relationship was platonic. Maybe I should have supported his love life, even if we were so close. We should have respected each other.
What is the end message with hand gesture was covered...??? with next video recommendation
thank you for sharing and i decided to subscribe...in order to know the point of view from a male perspective. Have observed that there are a lot of disrespect. Personality counts,inner self assesment of who we are, emotional maturity matters,values spiritual aspect is one important factor to consider etc. etc. We are all dysfunctional people often making mistakes, and it varies how each individual face it. There are many differences, cultural is one thing and so on..In my perspective a lot of women and men would want a relationship that will last forever. a give & take relationship with domino effect...by reflecting on it and ask will i go for a love story (which may last or just for a season) or for a life story that goes along until you grow old,side by side building each other up and facing whatever comes your way with full of trust, honesty and respect and above all love for God, if youlove God everything follows....
I think most women have been a door mat at one time or other
Yes and men do that as well.
In fact, right now I follow a guy’s
Videos on TikTok and think he’s pretty much a 10 but then there was a scene where he moved around a bit and his face only looked handsome from one angle. And he was overweight.
Yes, I matched with someone the other day, he told me after 6 months of matching with BOTS he finally met a really person that’s me. So in India, tinder shows a lot of Chinese girls profiles do you know? He was so nervous and the first question he asked was hi, are you a bot?.
Let me state first, that I am not a prude, but the abundance of pornography I think has really messed everyone up
There's no doubt it has desensitized people
@@JonathonAslay abundance but actually access as well.
Go to 15:23 for the answers.
Goood Morning💙👑
Hey 👋 👋 👋 😊
@@JonathonAslay ☺️☺️☺️
I got a feeling for my friend when I told him that I felt about him and I told him that I want a future with him we keep on kissing each other and then he told me that he is emotionally attracted to me and he wants me to find someone who can buy me everything I do want spend time with him and gets more about him and after that he choose this girl on dating website…. Do you think they probably work out or no
Do you do you think you can get rid of some of your commercials thank you
I don't control that...
Get an adblocker extension for your browser. Never see an ad again
If he’s not married to her and especially he doesn’t have to pay her every bill but definitely she does not pay anything for a man as women we do more and we give up more and we are a lot more vulnerable it’s OK for a man to sleep with 100 women but if a woman does that get my drift that’s why the men pay the only somewhat fair thing to do in this man’s world
... i give birt ,
so a half of " my " life , to 3 boy's ...
I build my own house alone , i plant my land and animal's love me ...
Dear man's ,
... verry sorry for 95% of you ...
... compassion ...
...
good stuff
Awe... thanks
Is it possible for someone to start a healthy relationship with someone if they work and go to school FT or should they not start one if they cannot invest more than a day per wk for a yr until their schedule slows down?
Yes
You did not leave your place fully yet? Are you going to film at your new place?
Yes, in about a month.
I clicked on this video because of the title, I stayed because the first 2-3 mins talks about the current dating scene, but then you go into how to get respect but you address it from being in a relationship already, what about questions to ask before you get into a relationship. You skipped about 20 steps in my opinion. Kinda disappointed in the video because of that it was like a cliff hanger.
Thank you 🙏
Porque dime, porque????.... Porque?????..
?
🙏
Well too bad if you wanted connection you should’ve waited and got healthy because that’s what you expect a woman to be is healthy all the time right how narcissistic
There's a teddy bear in front of you? Haha sweet
Yes... 🐻
❤️
🙏
Nope! Never any respect for women or girls that I can remember. And I’m 68 years old! Men, even strange men have been totally disrespectful towards me since I’m around 10 years old, actually sooner. So, this has nothing with trying to date. It has to do male entitlement and misogyny learnt form a patriarchal society. This disrespect simply continues into the dating scene. You are seeing things uniquely from a male perspective.
In my circle of male friends, they are very respectful human beings. 🙏
@@JonathonAslay I doubt it!
I'm ten years older than you and can honestly say when I was a young woman the men I dated were very chivalrous; picking me up from my home and accompanying back later. No demands were made for physical compensation! Of course there was always the odd one who got out of hand but they took 'no' for an answer
Thank you!
@@janetblanc7658 I agree! I've experienced the same.
🙋♀️🇨🇦🤗
Jonathan you are amazing!!! Thank you for being real raw and rare!!! I love how open and real you are!!!! @jonathonaslay
What’s the thumbnails?
The image for the video...
Four great questions Jonathan!! I’m going to ask my bf.