I couldn't think of a happy me as I've been drunk for the last two decades, but I'm one year and one month sober now and I've realized with your exercise that I AM HAPPY now. I am happy on my daily walks by the river, I am happy now waking up hangover free at 5 o'clock, I am happy journaling every day and I am happy with my job, the flowers I buy myself and all the little things in my life. Cheers from Madrid.
Thank you Mel for every single video you make. At 51 I feel genuinely happy. I just divorced a narcissist (self proclaimed vampire that beat me down so bad I was contemplating suicide) I left while he was at work. I left our brand new house and all contents and moved into a shelter. A year later, I have my own place and started a small cleaning business. Meditation, mindfulness, exercise, podcasts and a great therapist have led me to where I am now. Your podcasts have had such an impact on my it helped turn my life around. You have no idea. THANK YOU!! In many ways you saved me.
Wow! I’m so proud of you! It takes courage, inner strength and bravery to leave a Narcissist and I’m so glad you did! I’m speaking from experience…I grew up in narcissistic abuse..toxic family system and live with childhood trauma. Being free from them is taking your life back!
Congratulations to you for leaving toxic abuse and taking your life back. I went through this too. There are actually so many abusive toxic people out there but I have learned that I will never allow them into my life again. 💜💫
For those who dont have a happier time to remember: i do a similar journalling exercise where i ask: "how do I feel right now?" vs "how do I want to feel?" I find it also helps to ask "what do I need right now?" And it becomes quite clear how to move from your first list to the second 💜
Thank you for sharing this. I love tk write. I stopped for awhile because it was getting negative and nasty. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years...after my marriage of 10 years, and I picked up writing again. But its just word vomit. Nasty angry word vomit. Im going to try this. More structured. Thank you again.
@@valkyrie273 but is your writing only 'valid' when it meets someone ELSES standards? So what if its nasty or negative. Compared to what? Journal entries can mirror who you are at that time in your life. If you're only writing in carefully measured doses of what you think you should be writing or feeling, how will you ever capture the essence of who you truly are at any given time?
After a sad and lonely childhood, the happiest time of my life was when my ex-husband and I had just moved into our newly built home and I walked with my dog thru the neighborhood at night and was Christmastime with new snow on the ground…looking at all the other new homes with lights in the window with the snow gave me a feeling of comfort I had never known. I loved working part time at that time and cooking for my husband and I because I loved my new kitchen and being creative…and watching his eyes light up over what I had made.
I'm 53 and was beginning to worry when I couldn't find my happy time, then you said 'that's ok'. Just those words brought tears to my eyes and hope to my heart
It’s funny this video starts with Mel talking about portals. I just spent the weekend with my 9 year old grandson who is on the autism spectrum. He has learned how to change the time & date on his Nintendo switch & he does it whenever he decides he doesn’t like what is happening in the moment. When something isn’t going his way he says “it’s okay, I’ll just go back to 2 hours ago & make a different choice so this won’t happen”. He then proceeds to change the time on his switch to 2 hours earlier & does something different. I learn so much from this young boy. He will literally portal himself to different places around the world, via changing the time zone on his switch & it absolutely fascinates me.
Mel, one of my happiest times in my life was after a bad divorce I worked with an airline and started a small travel group with coworkers, three girls, and we would travel to Europe for quick 2-3 day trips. It was one of the best times of my life!
@@Khaegch-favhCheck out to see if there's a local travel group you could join. My mom does that with a few of her friends. Great way to see the world, make new friends, and I would feel safe traveling abroad with a group of experienced people.
My happiest time in my life was when I was on vacation with my family when I was young. My parents never fought, the were relaxed, and more attentive to us. Today doing this journal, I find at age 60, my happiest days are now at the beach. I love the sounds of waves, kids playing, the smell of the ocean, and the sand between in my toes. I now know, when I retire, it has to be near the ocean for the rest of my life. I can be there, without always driving there! I found my clues. Thank you Mel❤
Mel.. it’s not that simple. I’m happiest when I was with family and with my life partner ..well my family is all deceased, and my life partner, who I thought I was going to marry.. is an avoidant attacher, which I know you know all about that, and he suddenly left last year i’m doing all the things that normally made me happy ..working out ..playing pickle ball four days a week. volunteering at a rescue ..trying to hang out with friends but everyone’s married and has family.. I’m not happy. I miss my family I miss a life partner to Share every day and night with ..I’m older, so with everyone busy in their family lives and me keeping busy with workouts, rescue and my job ..I find myself constantly alone . I want a life partner to share with and plan my life , weekends etc and it just doesn’t come easy when you’re 64. I’m so lonely. Im not happy. I’m in therapy and even she agrees.. I just need a life partner.. it is my missing piece. and I try and keep my life full of things I enjoy, but there’s nothing like being loved and having a sense of family and I can’t just make that happen. Dating sites are a disaster, I’ve joined meet up groups etc.. . The missing piece is my own family.. and there’s no magic bullet to Make that happen
I feel so sad reading this. You are 100 right. It’s not that easy that she and other coaches tell you it is. I totally get what you’re saying. I truly wish u all the goodness in this world. Because you are so worth it, you are beautiful, strong and a great human being. Reading your comment truly speaks on how incredibly strong you are, you are amazing. Remember that, ❤️❤️❤️
Agree at 80 without a significant other life is empty.Filling days with volunteers and friends gets you through the day but nights are a killer.Sad to live longer but alone.
May I make a suggestion? Pay for a professional matchmaker, go on the blind dates with curated potential partners, follow advice and tips from @coffeewithCarey. Take directed action! Keep looking! Get out there! Good luck!
I agree that it isn't simple. I'm 70 and saw a graph recently that most people end up alone as they age. So while you are looking for a significant other or new friends because you've lost a ton what do you do? Well I tried changing my perspective. I wrote down all the advantages to being alone. I was surprised with how much was on the list. I looked at my situation differently and also I toughened my mindset. As the song says I can buy myself flowers, but also I can do a lot of things that do make me happy and not depend on someone else to make me happy. Best of Luck.
Heyyyyyy, I love this chapter! My happiest version is exactly 1 year ago. I traveled to Europe, alone. I was 49 years old, I never flew on a plane, I speak english veeery basic, I can understand, read and listen perfectly, but I´m so nervous whan I have to talk. Anyway, I traveled and visited Paris, Rome, Barcelona, Florence, Venice and Pisa. I never was so happy, before or after. I came up 8:00 o´clock, breakfast and went out to discover every corner, every statue, museums, even a litlle coffee shop. And guess what: two years earlier I began to do that things, take breakfast on a little coffe shop, take pictures of the lovely buildings in my city (Rosario, Argentina). When the great moment to travel, to finally trave to Europe, came after 32 years of dream with that, I was ready. Ready to go around with no schedules, just wander alone with my camera and take photos. The system that you mention on this video makes me understand that I applied magic without know about it. Thank you, I´ll do this exercise to travel and discover the world again. I love you!!! Thanks for everything!
I am listening to this right now (on Amazon Music) and I honestly cannot think of a time in my life when I was happier than I am now. I had an abusive childhood and have spent my life working through the healing process. I'm going to have to really think about this, because nothing is coming to mind. I have had happy moments, yet I cannot see a period of time when I felt happy in my life. Going to talk to my therapist about this, too. Thank you.
I completely relate to this so I think I am going to try imagining my ideal future life and journal based off that. I figure it could work both ways for past experiences or future experiences. I 'll give it a try it can't hurt.
At this juncture in your life, your main responsibility is to be true to yourself and the person you aspire to be. It is your BIRTHRITE to create as much happiness and joy as you possibly can and let these new memories create the template that you were not afforded previously.
Mel, I am completely ADDICTED to your podcasts. They, along with Tapping Therapy has helped me combat my anxiety and depression so much. I’m begging you to do a podcast on parents of estranged children, I’ve had to learn to stop worrying about things that are out of my control and to accept the fact that I just have to let my grown children go. It’s been such a long, painful road but I’m healing and learning to take care of me and to be the best person I can become. I know that there are many other heartbroken parents out there whose children have chosen to stop having any contact with them. It’s devastating and we could all use a little help in learning how to cope with such a traumatic experience. Thank you for all you do for your followers. We love you!
I thought this was going to be about journaling. I take out time to get a hot coffee or tea and sit in my bedroom with the door closed and a candle and just sit there and go into deep thought of the times I was really happy and I think of what I was doing, where I was and how amazing it felt. I would love to have happy back.
I would have loved to post a pic of my joy…imagine being in your own van, travelling wherever you want, when you want. I just got back from 3 months in Arizona…as a Canadian, it was a big trip 💕
This episode was so powerful. I'm remembering spending time with my family discovering creeks and waterfalls. Nature and water bring me immense joy and I'm going to bring it back into my life. Thank you for being vulnerable and real with us.
I have to say I did not realize how miserable I was until I thought about a happier time. Last year I completed treatment for substance abuse disorder and even though I had to pick up the pieces of my life that I had broken, I felt proud, powerful, and dedicated to a better life. Today I am feeling defeated depressed and unworthy of happiness. I am stuck and haven't been able to figure out my next move.
I just did the exercise and OH MY GOD!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU MEL!!! I have abandoned myself, my confidence, my amazingly capable self for 14 fucking years!!!! And I have not realized it is the source of my psychological homelessness UNTIL I DID THIS EXERCISE!!!!! I am so ready to come home to myself now. In fact, I AM ALREADY HOME. I AM ALREADY HOME. I fucking love you, Mel. I love you. I am so grateful you exist!!!!
I went back to just a few years ago when I was feeling content; I've always loved spiritual pursuits but at the time I came to a place where that was replaced with contentment. From my out of body travels I know we are soul and all is fine. And when I do other things like travel I feel thrilled.
What if the things you remember doing when you were happiest were very age/time specific? I guess I could try and start an “old lady dance club” but I don’t know how many ppl would show up. Lol I’ve gone to music festivals or shows by myself but it’s not as fun, and I’m 51 - most friends are settled down now or have zero interest in journeying back to that time. There are definitely other times when I felt happy but that was the main one. Going to clubs with my group of friends, listening to great music, dancing, meeting new people etc. The rub is that I don’t necessarily WANT to be clubbing either. But that’s when I remember feeling happiest.
January was work work work. I vowed in February to do at least one thing that made me happy and looked back to figure out what that was. It was dance. I used to do it everyday when I was a teenager and young adult. I’ve been going to 2-3 dance classes a week since the beginning of February and it feels like coming home. Live this episode! Reading in bed is the next thing to bring back!
Did this along with your video. I realized that I am finally in a place where I am happier than I have ever been. It has been a LONG time coming. I am recently remarried to a wonderful man and am emotionally and mentally healthier than ever. The one thing that I felt I really am missing from my life is friends. I have never really been someone that has a bunch of friends. But I feel like I finally have the confidence and self-esteem to reach out to make friendships. So a gal I know but have never gotten to spend any time with popped in my mind. I put down my pen and messaged her to go out for coffee this weekend! She replied that she was very happy to and is looking forward to it. Thank you for this episode, and really everything you do!
I had a wonderful time in my early to mid twenties when I was doing TM. It gave me an instant community with whom I meditated regularly, week ends away, weekly meetings, and new sense of being alive. It helped me in my thirst ofr knowledge and gave me a focus as I began my life as a working adult. It gave me the courage to leave home and to take wonderfull cycling trips on my own in magical parts of Ireland. The link with today? I am going to say that it is embarking on a new journey doing Tai Chi/Cin Kung which I do alone but wihich I hope will lead me to a community...in fact I am thinking about forming that myself ....it just takes confidence and belief in myself, enabling me to do something of service with my local community's wellbeing in mind.. Wow! It may require a longer incubation than I envisage, and I probably need to stay with this training on till I am happy doing it on my own. Oh, this year I gave up 'recreational shopping'...for the entire year of 2024 I am not buying ANY clothes at all...not even a pair of socks!
I think itsboften our personal need for something we deeply desire that can lead to the forming of a wonderful community..I did that with a women's circle years ago, ended up holding them, because I was divorced, moved somewhere I didn't know folks and had not friends. Hard to make friends mid forties! Anyway fast forward 6 years and I have a brilliant circle of female friends some younger and some much older. We created a beautiful community! Doing it will bring confidence. Others may be pining for the exact same thing! X
Magical podcast! Got this, all I have to do every morning to remind myself "my clue"! I love drawing, yet weeks go by not doing it, sadly. Thank you , Mel! I grab my art supplies!
Being a stay at home Mom picking my kids up from school.Miss feeling needed.Miss hearing my kids laughter . Now I'm an empty nester and lost and sad while everyone else moves on.
Hey Mel! I did this exercise over 20 years ago when I was going through my divorce. It was transformative and shaped the journey of my single-parenting in the years that followed. I have used it during this time to realign where I spend my time and with whom I spend it with. Great episode and I am glad Sawyer is doing better!
I'm one of those that had childhood trauma and wow! Was that powerful. My guy and I are in therapy and no wonder I'm stressed out. This is exactly what is happening... I'm having to bob and weave my way through his emotions and its exhausting and very triggering. I didn't realize that connection! Thank you, Mel!!
Wow!! I needed this! I was a young single adult and my friend group would spontaneously go on hikes, spend time in nature, hopping rocks, swim in a water hole. This is something I can do!
Whoa Mel, at first I was thinking ugh, sci-fi books. And before that ugh journal? Then you mentioned coffee shop. Whaaat! I would love to go to a coffee shop on a regular basis. It totally gives me a cozy and relaxing feeling. I'm going to start doing that a few days a week and try to journal. I've never journaled. Thank you Mel ❤
Hi Mel! This was the most awesome exercise! I too have dealt with lots of trauma since childhood. I have dealt with addiction , I have gone from being completely homeless and living on the beach,to now living in a million dollar house within the span of seven years..I have raised three amazing humans. Of course my first instinct is to go back to when my children were little and I was a stay at home mom and thinking about them playing in the pool, my sister, and I-spending a lot of time together then, and we laughed and had the most fun and realized that our lives wouldn’t be like this forever. and although that was a very happy time for me, I was starting to experience a lot of CPTSD symptoms from my early childhood trauma that I had replaced with busying myself getting pregnant at 17 and continuing to have children until I was 29. I realized that the time I was happiest must’ve been when I decided to quit drinking and got myself into a program in Santa Barbara and I was there for three years. I was heavily involved in the AA community. I also volunteered with hospice and I was truly content and happy with myself. My heart was happy, because I was truly being authentic in the way that I was sober and I was actively trying to help people . That said, I decided that was missing from my life today is volunteering maybe I go to the homeless shelter? Maybe I go back to hospice? I don’t know but just with that small little piece of knowledge it has really made my heart open up today and I am filled with a new hope and I want to just thank you from the bottom of my heart. Much love ❤
Every morning while getting ready for work I listen to your channel. I can never express how much you have helped me get out of my 3 year funk! You Mel have helped remind me of who I am. Thank you from the bottoms of my heart for that gift! This morning as I listened to this episode I was transported back to when one of my favorite humans was still with us. My great grandfather Zoel. He used to take me, my Great Grandmother to the local ice cream shop. We would get Blackberry Ice Cream and sit on the hood of his car. Instantly when I remembered that a smile I haven’t seen in 3 yrs crossed my face. I can not Thank you enough for everything you are doing for the human race! You are a force of light, joy and happiness ❤
I loved this episode❤. Thank you so much for this excercise. I encountered many feelings during these 34 minutes. I was transported and realized some things that I hope to put into practice (like that walking in the morning makes me feel better) but I also reconnected with what made me happy and I couldn't help but shed some tears.💛
Thank you for your inspiration and teaching me how to change myself and learn to love myself and be happy. I recently just discovered your videos and it's helping me learn a lot about myself in order to grow and change more daily. I love this!!
Thank you beautiful Mel 💛🌷✨ it’s wonderful to come across people who are aligned with their authentic self. We feel the love 💛✨🌷so grateful for your time and insight. Big changes are coming and you’re definitely helping me push through this shift 💪🏻🙏🏻 Do you have a PO box? Forever grateful ✨
Mel, love, love this episode. Thank you so much. My happiness moment is walk in nature and ear birds singing. I was born in the countryside, and walking and exploring nature, there is where i felt the most happier. Fortunately, after 50 years, i am living in a place that gives me daily that beautiful happy feeling. But i know that with this exercise, i can discover more clues, the ones i want to do, and the ones i do not want to do. Thanks ❤️ much love to everyone.
I can't say for sure this made me happier (I am actually in tears right now), but it certainly is an eye opener! It did give me some things to think about as well as focus on though. I will work on them. Thank you!
Crazy thing is…. I’m new at being an empty nester! I think about when I was happy was when my kids were younger! It’s so hard to live and learn who I am without being a mom 24/7! I also had a crazy life! But wow this is amazing… thank you so much Mel!! I’m going to dig deep I know I have to find it and I will!
I hope you embrace this time of your life and find your happiness in this new chapter. I'm 51 and cannot ever have that empty nest because I have a disabled 20 yo who will never be on her own. I'm still changing adult diapers. I would love to be in your place.
@@vickismith8533yes exactly!! I started young so a lot of my friends now are still raising their kids. I don't know who I am and what I like! I've been a mom since I was 18! Now 40 and I gotta learn!
@@ArgggggggggI'm trying to it's all new to me! I need to find myself again, that's why I'm into these inspirational and self love/growth videos! I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you're at least able to get some you time and someone else takes over to give you a break! You need that!
It's interesting that this video popped up as I have been thinking a lot about this over the last six months. One of my happiest times was when I was freelancing and had a lot of flexibility in my schedule, great work life balance, and amazing relationships. That was about 10 years ago. I just recently got laid off and instead of taking the first opportunities that came my way, I turned them down to take a freelance position. It felt right. It felt like a step in a positive direction.
My happiest has been when a group of us work towards a goal whether it was the fraternity and I developing the house to stay out of trouble or a musical theatre class I took that had an acting teacher, voice teacher, choreographer, and accompanist to.put on a showcase.
Omg I really needed this. I have no idea what happiness is anymore. Also my happy days were in my 20's, I used go out a lot with my girlfriends, I used to walk a lot on fut, I was never home, which was hell for me at home or my friends would come to my place. We would sing and play games and drink, I don't miss drinking, but I do miss all the other things. Now I go to work, pick up my daughter and go home or maybe outside. And that I it, no more me time. Now I have some ideas: I will find a dance klass and go out with my daughter for a hot chocolate and a pretzel, because I have no adult friends to go out with, but I will make beautiful memories with my daughter. Wish me luck, thank you for being a friend.
It took me a minute. My childhood was a bit dramatic between my parents. But as I really thought about, my happiness was with my best friends. Rose and Jennifer as a child. Melissa in college. Thank you ❤
I could not think of a super happy time but what was important to hear was that that was OK and to also learn from the times I wasn't happy and why I wasn't happy and create a future where I'm not repeating those patterns and I'm not doing the things that didn't make me happy then. I really needed to hear that today! Thank you so much Mel and crew!!
You covered so many great things! Cheers to the little things...🎉 It helps me to time travel back to the stuff i did as a kid which is allowed in adulthood! Exploring, making art i.e.sketch, journal, write a letter with pen and paper, paint/cut out magazines, paste, play or learn to play music, cup of hot chocolate/coffee/tea, pat your dog, smiles at strangers. Walks. Bike rides. Unclench. Be you, not comparing. (No social media is a key. Healthy, useful RUclips is an exception🌞. Useless Poison are Facebook, insta, tiktok) An expedition, a day trip on a day off, being a visitor to your own city or town. Bird watching. Any nature. Present tense. This all makes me kinder to myself and therefore kinder to others and able to help. Thanks, Mel. A friend died a few days ago and you have helped IMMENSELY with this exercise, and with all you do. ❤🎉 Life is temporary, and it's wonderful.
This exercise was interesting for me… at first, I saw myself in 2016 as the “Rave King”, before kids, lots of drugs and sex, surrounded by friends… until I remembered our honeymoon in Mexico last month. I was truly happy most days. Woke up early to get to the water, unlimited food and drinks, real relaxation, sun & palm trees, naps on Bali beds, break from kids… I’m still not sure what clues I can correlate. Other than maybe I just need to fuckin relax. Wake up earlier. And take naps.
Befit sewoch endemiketatelung salawek befit dess yamileng gize ke 4 eske 6 yaneberkubet timihert bet dess yeleng naber... Ahun laye gen yabefitu gize (2016 G. c) befit yalew gize kahulum yeteshale neber. Eske ahun yasalefkuten gize experience befit laye benoreng eyandandwan ken befisum desta enorew naber... Freedom is everything!!
This is incredible, Mel! Watching this brought back vivid memories of my high school dance troupe days. It wasn't just the practices and rehearsals that came to mind; I was transported back to those breaks when we'd share fried green peas and soft drinks with a partner. Those moments were filled with laughter and conversations that created a profound sense of belonging and community.
This exercise makes me feel sick in the stomach as it takes me back to a world which doesn’t exist for me anymore. It takes me back to when I was still raising my kids and had many genuine friends. Those friends are now scattered all over the world and we have drifted apart and the kids, who are now adults, also live in a different country. I would give anything to go back to that time in my life 😢
Same. The dark cloud over my head is a constant reminder of what cannot be again. I was happier when: my income was stable, my closest family member was alive, I was a stay at home mom, I had time for hobbies. I didn't choose to lose half my income, lose a very special loved one, spend so much time working to keep things going that I have no time for hobbies and less time for my kid. It just sucks. Childhood was awesome. No responsibility. No real world worries. Fuck it. Time to move back home and be a tax dependant on mom and pops again.
Thank you for this wonderful episode Mel! I did this exercise and found several things that I need to bring back into my life: spending time with my friends, singing and dancing freely, drawing freely, and doing crafts. I've been so tired and drained from my job in the last few months and wondered what made me so sad. The exercise you presented in this episode has shown me the clues to make my life happy again daily and weekly.
During 2016-2017, I was searching for God and ended up spending some time at Standing Rock (mass encampment on Native American land in North Dakota). Every morning I’d wake up in a big tent surrounded by my friends. We’d roll out and go to morning ceremony, eat breakfast at one of the kitchens, and then split off to do our daily work routine during the daylight hours. We’d reconvene for sunset, eat dinner, escape the cold night air in our sleeping bags, and talk until we fell asleep. It felt like we were participating in a grand experiment, a movement that would change forever the way we live our daily lives. Our time together eventually came to an end, but the spiritual shift we experienced stayed with us forever. /woowoo
Mel Robins you are so amazing and very caring. Thank you so much for sharing and yes I shared this video with my granddaughter who has my heart. I love this information because it simple and it works. God bless you and continue to help us realize it’s the small steps to happiness that create a happy me!!! High Five 👋🏼🥳💕
Thank you Mel. As I was trying to look back at a time I was the happiest it’s actually now. I’ve made it my mission to completely change the direction of my life I’ve lost 75 lb move to a new state and pursuing everything I’ve always wanted. I feel like I’ve had to endure all that dark stuff in order to really enjoy the light. The problem I’m facing is patience. I want things to fixed in a day. This video reminded me that my happy place is today and to not sweat the little stuff :)
Oh my... that was extraordinarily painful for me, but also wonderfully freeing. It's not that I don't remember being happy in the past, but they tended to be 'moments', not extended periods. What really set me off was when you mentioned something about the garden and I remembered making rivulets of water with my brother weaving them through the flowers. And then I remembered that I had forgotten all about it until the 12th April 2020, when we were chatting on the phone about it because he was doing it with his son in his garden where he lived and that was the beginning of COVID. I said I would try and get to see him but was not sure when and that was the last time I spoke to him because he died on the 21st. (from alcohol-related liver disease) and I cried so much yesterday remembering that! You also mentioned feeling safe and I remembered that, as a child, I didn't feel safe. I've never felt very safe and, as a result, I've made ill-informed decisions and daft mistakes, because I panicked! But it reminded me of my resilience and the strength I've found through multiple setbacks and my current journey and the book I'm editing, which I have researched and written for 6 years and how all that pain from my childhood and my recent past is only serving to create a much happier me. So... when I transport myself back, I can choose many, many happy moments, as a child, growing up and travelling, bringing up my two wonderful kids, working as a university lecturer, but when I bring myself back to the present and think about how I feel, right here, right now. I think this is my happiest time. So I want to say a HUGE thank you to you Mel Robbins, you beautiful being,, because that exercise yesterday released something deeply profound and necessary. I had something of an epiphany yesterday and I feel happy and free
I ALWAYS used to do photography. Even before I had a dedicated camera, on my little metro slide phone even haha. Listening to this, I realized that I haven’t gotten out in nature and just taken pictures since COVID began. Thank you Mel 🖤
I went back to when I was in middle class. Going to school, learning new things, spending time with my family, have many friends and a bestie, going to church and praying often. I felt whole, confident, worthy and didn’t care about being validated by guys and just wanted to have fun with my friends and family. It was such a beautiful time in my life. Life was different
Even though I have many of those things today, it’s interesting how life never felt broken back then. Anxiety and overthinking wasn’t a big part of my reality when I was a kid and I didn’t even know what that meant lol. Fun exercise, I will embrace more of that little version of myself that loved life and just went after exactly what she wanted and kept her promises to herself😂🥰
I remember before covid I was in a traditional arts school. I would go into the studio in the mornings and make coffee, and set up my station just in time to see the sun rise, So I would run to the window and watch it go up. I would sit in silence and watch as life came alive, students were slowly on the move and I was feeling more awake and fresh. then I would start creating, I would put on a podcast, music, or a movie and just create. I could seriously be there all day and only really stop when my friend came to the studio to get me for dinner. Then at dinner we would connect on our days and if I had my sketch book I showed him my ideas, and shared my thoughts with him. I am no longer in contact with my friend, but I do think of him often. :)
Yes! I'm so glad your coworker talked about her childhood. I completely relate and feel the same way. After childhood, I was always working 2-3 jobs or 1 job plus going to college. Always too much on my plate. But I can locate brief happy moments during all of that.
First happy memory that comes to mind if my first trip to Hawaii. I hit to see what people described as paradise. Traveling to the mountains in Scottsdale and Sedona (fresh mountain air). As a kid, playing with play-dough and making Barbie furniture of of recycled things around the house. I was so good at it. Seeing my parents impressed with my creativeness. I see how my list is growing by the minute. Thank you Mel ❤
I recently realized that I desperately missed doing something creative that resulted in a finished product. This came after a few (more than a few if I'm honest) years of feeling stuck and bland in my own life. I recently took up latch hook rug making. It is amazing to feel satisfied in the creation process that results in a beautiful rug. I didn't realize just how much I missed that feeling.
Mel, this podcast spoke directly to me and I've listened 3 times already. I'm a seasoned woman of wisdom who needed to hear everything you had to say here. Bless you. I'm working on my paper with the column down the middle. You're right, we know the answers and sometimes we just need a nudge. :)
I love this! ❤ When I look back I was happiest when I was in nature - in the forest, at the beach, surrounded by our animals. And when I look at the things that bring me joy now, it’s nature and my animals. One thing that I love is when I go out and feed the birds - it’s so simple but just brings me joy. Being out with my dogs is the same - happiness. It’s definitely a sign that I need more nature in my life ❤️🌲🍁💐🐚🍄🪻
I’d think this would be much easier when one is still healthy and in a certain age range like Mel’s daughter, but at 70, with multiple health issues and operations, which keeps me from doing what I used to love - sports, hiking and such, even gathering with family as much as I’d like to, and having endured losses of parents and others much loved, and my happiest time being birth to about 12, it’s quite a challenge to find anything I could bring from that lifetime into this one. Health is everything.
Wow, I've missed a few pod-cast. So glad I caught this one. I found my Happy Place. It was so easy. It's my time with family and friends and also when I'm moving my body. I'm going to spend some more time going back and forth through the portal. The list just keeps growing. Thanks again for what you do!
Thank you Mel. I was a little surprised that my happiest moment was being at home with my only daughter for her first year. We took nature walks, long naps, played, etc. She was a long awaited dream come true. It was a such a slow, gentle and dreamy time in my life. What does this mean? I need something to nurture & grow, to get outside in beautiful places and follow the rhythms of the natural world.
Ugh, I discovered I was happy when I had people around who I had some bond with, not necessarily my tribe but a bunch of people who liked me, accepted me and wanted me around. It made me realise the extent of my isolation throughout the years due to trauma. Now, it's easy to find people when you go to school, it's not as easy as an adult. I wanted to move, one reason is to get distance from my unhealthy family dynamics, but now I'm worried I will be alone and it doesn't serve me.
one of my best friends who i met at a job i had , passed away at new year 💔 he was an amazing true and best friend to me for almost 16 years . i miss him so much 💔 xxx
Great post Mel ❤👍🙏🙌 You are right, the little things makes us happy….i couldn’t actually visualise or go back when I was happy as I am usually only happy on my holidays 😃 But I am like you …I like being outside, being able to walk to work.i remember being happy to hang out with my family and now I live overseas as I did the big change 16 years ago ….
Oh my goodness, I just did this exercise and the happy me vs the now me are so total opposites. I think I need professional help! What a great way to pin point life! Not sure if I want to cry or be excited about finding my way back! Day 1 - we will see!
I couldn't think of a happy me as I've been drunk for the last two decades, but I'm one year and one month sober now and I've realized with your exercise that I AM HAPPY now. I am happy on my daily walks by the river, I am happy now waking up hangover free at 5 o'clock, I am happy journaling every day and I am happy with my job, the flowers I buy myself and all the little things in my life. Cheers from Madrid.
@despropositos my life is similar to yours, thank you for posting this. Salud de Maryland, cuidate much. Sobriedad es vida
@@LaMachitaSalvajita ¡Sobriedad es vida!
I can relate to every word you said ❤
Thank you Mel for every single video you make. At 51 I feel genuinely happy. I just divorced a narcissist (self proclaimed vampire that beat me down so bad I was contemplating suicide) I left while he was at work. I left our brand new house and all contents and moved into a shelter. A year later, I have my own place and started a small cleaning business. Meditation, mindfulness, exercise, podcasts and a great therapist have led me to where I am now. Your podcasts have had such an impact on my it helped turn my life around. You have no idea. THANK YOU!! In many ways you saved me.
I wish for all good things to keep coming your way. 💕
You are so brave. Well done.
Keep up the good work darling woman ! You're going to good plces !! Prayers for you !
Wow! I’m so proud of you! It takes courage, inner strength and bravery to leave a Narcissist and I’m so glad you did! I’m speaking from experience…I grew up in narcissistic abuse..toxic family system and live with childhood trauma. Being free from them is taking your life back!
Congratulations to you for leaving toxic abuse and taking your life back. I went through this too. There are actually so many abusive toxic people out there but I have learned that I will never allow them into my life again. 💜💫
For those who dont have a happier time to remember: i do a similar journalling exercise where i ask: "how do I feel right now?" vs "how do I want to feel?" I find it also helps to ask "what do I need right now?" And it becomes quite clear how to move from your first list to the second 💜
Thank you for sharing this. I love tk write. I stopped for awhile because it was getting negative and nasty. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years...after my marriage of 10 years, and I picked up writing again. But its just word vomit. Nasty angry word vomit. Im going to try this. More structured. Thank you again.
Thank you for this cause i have childhood memory problems and your comment here could help cause its in the moment not the past.
@@barbarabarr9195 same 💗 hope it's helpful
@@valkyrie273 I go through journal phases like that too, I guess sometimes it's needed until you're ready to be positive again
@@valkyrie273 but is your writing only 'valid' when it meets someone ELSES standards? So what if its nasty or negative. Compared to what? Journal entries can mirror who you are at that time in your life. If you're only writing in carefully measured doses of what you think you should be writing or feeling, how will you ever capture the essence of who you truly are at any given time?
After a sad and lonely childhood, the happiest time of my life was when my ex-husband and I had just moved into our newly built home and I walked with my dog thru the neighborhood at night and was Christmastime with new snow on the ground…looking at all the other new homes with lights in the window with the snow gave me a feeling of comfort I had never known. I loved working part time at that time and cooking for my husband and I because I loved my new kitchen and being creative…and watching his eyes light up over what I had made.
I'm 53 and was beginning to worry when I couldn't find my happy time, then you said 'that's ok'. Just those words brought tears to my eyes and hope to my heart
I feel this.
Yep. 🤗
It’s funny this video starts with Mel talking about portals. I just spent the weekend with my 9 year old grandson who is on the autism spectrum. He has learned how to change the time & date on his Nintendo switch & he does it whenever he decides he doesn’t like what is happening in the moment. When something isn’t going his way he says “it’s okay, I’ll just go back to 2 hours ago & make a different choice so this won’t happen”. He then proceeds to change the time on his switch to 2 hours earlier & does something different. I learn so much from this young boy. He will literally portal himself to different places around the world, via changing the time zone on his switch & it absolutely fascinates me.
Mel, one of my happiest times in my life was after a bad divorce I worked with an airline and started a small travel group with coworkers, three girls, and we would travel to Europe for quick 2-3 day trips. It was one of the best times of my life!
I want to do that! Well, I’d just be happy to have 3 friends haha
@@Khaegch-favh
Hi there
@@Khaegch-favhCheck out to see if there's a local travel group you could join. My mom does that with a few of her friends. Great way to see the world, make new friends, and I would feel safe traveling abroad with a group of experienced people.
My happiest time in my life was when I was on vacation with my family when I was young. My parents never fought, the were relaxed, and more attentive to us. Today doing this journal, I find at age 60, my happiest days are now at the beach. I love the sounds of waves, kids playing, the smell of the ocean, and the sand between in my toes. I now know, when I retire, it has to be near the ocean for the rest of my life. I can be there, without always driving there! I found my clues. Thank you Mel❤
Mel.. it’s not that simple. I’m happiest when I was with family and with my life partner ..well my family is all deceased, and my life partner, who I thought I was going to marry.. is an avoidant attacher, which I know you know all about that, and he suddenly left last year i’m doing all the things that normally made me happy ..working out ..playing pickle ball four days a week. volunteering at a rescue ..trying to hang out with friends but everyone’s married and has family.. I’m not happy. I miss my family I miss a life partner to
Share every day and night with ..I’m older, so with everyone busy in their family lives and me keeping busy with workouts, rescue and my job ..I find myself constantly alone . I want a life partner to share with and plan my life , weekends etc and it just doesn’t come easy when you’re 64. I’m so lonely. Im not happy. I’m in therapy and even she agrees.. I just need a life partner.. it is my missing piece. and I try and keep my life full of things I enjoy, but there’s nothing like being loved and having a sense of family and I can’t just make that happen. Dating sites are a disaster, I’ve joined meet up groups etc.. . The missing piece is my own family.. and there’s no magic bullet to
Make that happen
I feel so sad reading this. You are 100 right. It’s not that easy that she and other coaches tell you it is. I totally get what you’re saying. I truly wish u all the goodness in this world. Because you are so worth it, you are beautiful, strong and a great human being. Reading your comment truly speaks on how incredibly strong you are, you are amazing. Remember that, ❤️❤️❤️
Agree at 80 without a significant other life is empty.Filling days with volunteers and friends gets you through the day but nights are a killer.Sad to live longer but alone.
May I make a suggestion? Pay for a professional matchmaker, go on the blind dates with curated potential partners, follow advice and tips from @coffeewithCarey. Take directed action! Keep looking! Get out there! Good luck!
It is that simple. Your making it too hard. The remainder of your life can be an every day vacation ! Feel it - believe it.😊
I agree that it isn't simple. I'm 70 and saw a graph recently that most people end up alone as they age. So while you are looking for a significant other or new friends because you've lost a ton what do you do? Well I tried changing my perspective. I wrote down all the advantages to being alone. I was surprised with how much was on the list. I looked at my situation differently and also I toughened my mindset. As the song says I can buy myself flowers, but also I can do a lot of things that do make me happy and not depend on someone else to make me happy. Best of Luck.
I’m only in the first minute…. I just wanted to say YOU LOOK AMAZING
Doesn't she tho?? 😍
I thought so too!!!
Yasssss .. I was like, "Go, Mel ❤❤
I thought the same thing! @melrobbins you are looking like a hottie! 😉 🔥
Super healthy and happy!
Heyyyyyy, I love this chapter! My happiest version is exactly 1 year ago. I traveled to Europe, alone. I was 49 years old, I never flew on a plane, I speak english veeery basic, I can understand, read and listen perfectly, but I´m so nervous whan I have to talk. Anyway, I traveled and visited Paris, Rome, Barcelona, Florence, Venice and Pisa. I never was so happy, before or after. I came up 8:00 o´clock, breakfast and went out to discover every corner, every statue, museums, even a litlle coffee shop. And guess what: two years earlier I began to do that things, take breakfast on a little coffe shop, take pictures of the lovely buildings in my city (Rosario, Argentina). When the great moment to travel, to finally trave to Europe, came after 32 years of dream with that, I was ready. Ready to go around with no schedules, just wander alone with my camera and take photos. The system that you mention on this video makes me understand that I applied magic without know about it. Thank you, I´ll do this exercise to travel and discover the world again. I love you!!! Thanks for everything!
Beautiful!! So inspiring and I get it. I get what you did..bravo! ❤🎉❤
@@charlottekessler8934 thanks!! Sorry for my english, I did my best effort jajajaja
I began painting again. I used to be so creative painting and knitting and thinking of inventions.
I forgot about that! I used to love sewing and quilting and I don't make time for that anymore. Thank you for sharing!
Same! I’m picking up where I left off in my 20s painting again, and I’ve never felt so alive.
Keep going dear😊
I don’t even listen to music anymore when I’m working out… it’s all you Mel… my life is changing you video at a time… thank you and I love you Mel!!!
Same here
Me too!
I am listening to this right now (on Amazon Music) and I honestly cannot think of a time in my life when I was happier than I am now. I had an abusive childhood and have spent my life working through the healing process. I'm going to have to really think about this, because nothing is coming to mind. I have had happy moments, yet I cannot see a period of time when I felt happy in my life. Going to talk to my therapist about this, too. Thank you.
Then go forward and imagine yourself happy and pay attention to your habits. ❤
I completely relate to this so I think I am going to try imagining my ideal future life and journal based off that. I figure it could work both ways for past experiences or future experiences. I 'll give it a try it can't hurt.
At this juncture in your life, your main responsibility is to be true to yourself and the person you aspire to be. It is your BIRTHRITE to create as much happiness and joy as you possibly can and let these new memories create the template that you were not afforded previously.
I share the same experience
Mel, I am completely ADDICTED to your podcasts. They, along with Tapping Therapy has helped me combat my anxiety and depression so much. I’m begging you to do a podcast on parents of estranged children, I’ve had to learn to stop worrying about things that are out of my control and to accept the fact that I just have to let my grown children go. It’s been such a long, painful road but I’m healing and learning to take care of me and to be the best person I can become. I know that there are many other heartbroken parents out there whose children have chosen to stop having any contact with them. It’s devastating and we could all use a little help in learning how to cope with such a traumatic experience. Thank you for all you do for your followers. We love you!
In your shoes. Not handling it well.
Wow! I’m not alone!❤
I can’t think of a time where I was happier. I’ll keep thinking.
I thought this was going to be about journaling. I take out time to get a hot coffee or tea and sit in my bedroom with the door closed and a candle and just sit there and go into deep thought of the times I was really happy and I think of what I was doing, where I was and how amazing it felt. I would love to have happy back.
I would have loved to post a pic of my joy…imagine being in your own van, travelling wherever you want, when you want. I just got back from 3 months in Arizona…as a Canadian, it was a big trip 💕
Omg I just got back to Minnesota from Az living in my van for 3 months lol.
Where are you? I’m BC@@Vangela1
This episode was so powerful. I'm remembering spending time with my family discovering creeks and waterfalls. Nature and water bring me immense joy and I'm going to bring it back into my life. Thank you for being vulnerable and real with us.
Great podcast.. Thank you, Mel..❤
This brought me to the realization that those "happiest of times in my life" were when I was my most authentic self.
I have to say I did not realize how miserable I was until I thought about a happier time. Last year I completed treatment for substance abuse disorder and even though I had to pick up the pieces of my life that I had broken, I felt proud, powerful, and dedicated to a better life. Today I am feeling defeated depressed and unworthy of happiness. I am stuck and haven't been able to figure out my next move.
Same!
I just did the exercise and OH MY GOD!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU MEL!!! I have abandoned myself, my confidence, my amazingly capable self for 14 fucking years!!!! And I have not realized it is the source of my psychological homelessness UNTIL I DID THIS EXERCISE!!!!! I am so ready to come home to myself now. In fact, I AM ALREADY HOME. I AM ALREADY HOME. I fucking love you, Mel. I love you. I am so grateful you exist!!!!
What an inspiring episode!
We love you, too, Mel ❣️
I went back to just a few years ago when I was feeling content; I've always loved spiritual pursuits but at the time I came to a place where that was replaced with contentment. From my out of body travels I know we are soul and all is fine. And when I do other things like travel I feel thrilled.
What if the things you remember doing when you were happiest were very age/time specific? I guess I could try and start an “old lady dance club” but I don’t know how many ppl would show up. Lol I’ve gone to music festivals or shows by myself but it’s not as fun, and I’m 51 - most friends are settled down now or have zero interest in journeying back to that time. There are definitely other times when I felt happy but that was the main one. Going to clubs with my group of friends, listening to great music, dancing, meeting new people etc. The rub is that I don’t necessarily WANT to be clubbing either. But that’s when I remember feeling happiest.
January was work work work. I vowed in February to do at least one thing that made me happy and looked back to figure out what that was. It was dance. I used to do it everyday when I was a teenager and young adult. I’ve been going to 2-3 dance classes a week since the beginning of February and it feels like coming home. Live this episode! Reading in bed is the next thing to bring back!
Did this along with your video. I realized that I am finally in a place where I am happier than I have ever been. It has been a LONG time coming. I am recently remarried to a wonderful man and am emotionally and mentally healthier than ever. The one thing that I felt I really am missing from my life is friends. I have never really been someone that has a bunch of friends. But I feel like I finally have the confidence and self-esteem to reach out to make friendships. So a gal I know but have never gotten to spend any time with popped in my mind. I put down my pen and messaged her to go out for coffee this weekend! She replied that she was very happy to and is looking forward to it. Thank you for this episode, and really everything you do!
So proud of you ❤
I had a wonderful time in my early to mid twenties when I was doing TM. It gave me an instant community with whom I meditated regularly, week ends away, weekly meetings, and new sense of being alive. It helped me in my thirst ofr knowledge and gave me a focus as I began my life as a working adult. It gave me the courage to leave home and to take wonderfull cycling trips on my own in magical parts of Ireland. The link with today? I am going to say that it is embarking on a new journey doing Tai Chi/Cin Kung which I do alone but wihich I hope will lead me to a community...in fact I am thinking about forming that myself ....it just takes confidence and belief in myself, enabling me to do something of service with my local community's wellbeing in mind.. Wow! It may require a longer incubation than I envisage, and I probably need to stay with this training on till I am happy doing it on my own. Oh, this year I gave up 'recreational shopping'...for the entire year of 2024 I am not buying ANY clothes at all...not even a pair of socks!
I think itsboften our personal need for something we deeply desire that can lead to the forming of a wonderful community..I did that with a women's circle years ago, ended up holding them, because I was divorced, moved somewhere I didn't know folks and had not friends. Hard to make friends mid forties! Anyway fast forward 6 years and I have a brilliant circle of female friends some younger and some much older. We created a beautiful community! Doing it will bring confidence. Others may be pining for the exact same thing! X
Wonderful start to my Tuesday morning. I'm going to apply this. Have a prosperous day. ❤❤❤
Magical podcast! Got this, all I have to do every morning to remind myself "my clue"! I love drawing, yet weeks go by not doing it, sadly. Thank you , Mel! I grab my art supplies!
Being a stay at home Mom picking my kids up from school.Miss feeling needed.Miss hearing my kids laughter . Now I'm an empty nester and lost and sad while everyone else moves on.
Maybe volunteer at a school or daycare - I know it isn't exactly the same, but you would be needed and could enjoy the kids laughter...
Hey Mel! I did this exercise over 20 years ago when I was going through my divorce. It was transformative and shaped the journey of my single-parenting in the years that followed. I have used it during this time to realign where I spend my time and with whom I spend it with. Great episode and I am glad Sawyer is doing better!
I'm one of those that had childhood trauma and wow! Was that powerful. My guy and I are in therapy and no wonder I'm stressed out. This is exactly what is happening... I'm having to bob and weave my way through his emotions and its exhausting and very triggering. I didn't realize that connection! Thank you, Mel!!
Wow!! I needed this! I was a young single adult and my friend group would spontaneously go on hikes, spend time in nature, hopping rocks, swim in a water hole. This is something I can do!
Whoa Mel, at first I was thinking ugh, sci-fi books. And before that ugh journal? Then you mentioned coffee shop. Whaaat! I would love to go to a coffee shop on a regular basis. It totally gives me a cozy and relaxing feeling. I'm going to start doing that a few days a week and try to journal. I've never journaled. Thank you Mel ❤
Hi Mel! This was the most awesome exercise! I too have dealt with lots of trauma since childhood. I have dealt with addiction , I have gone from being completely homeless and living on the beach,to now living in a million dollar house within the span of seven years..I have raised three amazing humans. Of course my first instinct is to go back to when my children were little and I was a stay at home mom and thinking about them playing in the pool, my sister, and I-spending a lot of time together then, and we laughed and had the most fun and realized that our lives wouldn’t be like this forever. and although that was a very happy time for me, I was starting to experience a lot of CPTSD symptoms from my early childhood trauma that I had replaced with busying myself getting pregnant at 17 and continuing to have children until I was 29. I realized that the time I was happiest must’ve been when I decided to quit drinking and got myself into a program in Santa Barbara and I was there for three years. I was heavily involved in the AA community. I also volunteered with hospice and I was truly content and happy with myself. My heart was happy, because I was truly being authentic in the way that I was sober and I was actively trying to help people . That said, I decided that was missing from my life today is volunteering maybe I go to the homeless shelter? Maybe I go back to hospice? I don’t know but just with that small little piece of knowledge it has really made my heart open up today and I am filled with a new hope and I want to just thank you from the bottom of my heart. Much love ❤
Every morning while getting ready for work I listen to your channel. I can never express how much you have helped me get out of my 3 year funk!
You Mel have helped remind me of who I am. Thank you from the bottoms of my heart for that gift!
This morning as I listened to this episode I was transported back to when one of my favorite humans was still with us. My great grandfather Zoel.
He used to take me, my Great Grandmother to the local ice cream shop. We would get Blackberry Ice Cream and sit on the hood of his car. Instantly when I remembered that a smile I haven’t seen in 3 yrs crossed my face.
I can not Thank you enough for everything you are doing for the human race! You are a force of light, joy and happiness ❤
I loved this episode❤. Thank you so much for this excercise. I encountered many feelings during these 34 minutes. I was transported and realized some things that I hope to put into practice (like that walking in the morning makes me feel better) but I also reconnected with what made me happy and I couldn't help but shed some tears.💛
Thank you for your inspiration and teaching me how to change myself and learn to love myself and be happy. I recently just discovered your videos and it's helping me learn a lot about myself in order to grow and change more daily. I love this!!
Thank you beautiful Mel 💛🌷✨ it’s wonderful to come across people who are aligned with their authentic self. We feel the love 💛✨🌷so grateful for your time and insight. Big changes are coming and you’re definitely helping me push through this shift 💪🏻🙏🏻 Do you have a PO box? Forever grateful ✨
Mel, love, love this episode. Thank you so much. My happiness moment is walk in nature and ear birds singing. I was born in the countryside, and walking and exploring nature, there is where i felt the most happier. Fortunately, after 50 years, i am living in a place that gives me daily that beautiful happy feeling. But i know that with this exercise, i can discover more clues, the ones i want to do, and the ones i do not want to do. Thanks ❤️ much love to everyone.
It feels like Mel talks straight at me and answers my questions that I am asking. She really is a best friend!!!!
I can't say for sure this made me happier (I am actually in tears right now), but it certainly is an eye opener! It did give me some things to think about as well as focus on though. I will work on them. Thank you!
Crazy thing is…. I’m new at being an empty nester! I think about when I was happy was when my kids were younger! It’s so hard to live and learn who I am without being a mom 24/7! I also had a crazy life! But wow this is amazing… thank you so much Mel!! I’m going to dig deep I know I have to find it and I will!
Oh I struggled so hard with this. Like who am I now if I’m not a mum. Do I just sit and wait to get old and that’s it?
I hope you embrace this time of your life and find your happiness in this new chapter. I'm 51 and cannot ever have that empty nest because I have a disabled 20 yo who will never be on her own. I'm still changing adult diapers. I would love to be in your place.
@@vickismith8533yes exactly!! I started young so a lot of my friends now are still raising their kids. I don't know who I am and what I like! I've been a mom since I was 18! Now 40 and I gotta learn!
@@ArgggggggggI'm trying to it's all new to me! I need to find myself again, that's why I'm into these inspirational and self love/growth videos! I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you're at least able to get some you time and someone else takes over to give you a break! You need that!
@@stephaniepetrikis1057 same. Had my children young so only late forties and they’ve all moved out. My friends are still doing the school run
Interesting one...New in a different country and trying to figure out new ways of doing things .This video is really helpful.
Loved this , shared with my friends. I'm going to try this THANK YOU
It's interesting that this video popped up as I have been thinking a lot about this over the last six months. One of my happiest times was when I was freelancing and had a lot of flexibility in my schedule, great work life balance, and amazing relationships. That was about 10 years ago. I just recently got laid off and instead of taking the first opportunities that came my way, I turned them down to take a freelance position. It felt right. It felt like a step in a positive direction.
My happiest has been when a group of us work towards a goal whether it was the fraternity and I developing the house to stay out of trouble or a musical theatre class I took that had an acting teacher, voice teacher, choreographer, and accompanist to.put on a showcase.
Omg I really needed this. I have no idea what happiness is anymore. Also my happy days were in my 20's, I used go out a lot with my girlfriends, I used to walk a lot on fut, I was never home, which was hell for me at home or my friends would come to my place. We would sing and play games and drink, I don't miss drinking, but I do miss all the other things. Now I go to work, pick up my daughter and go home or maybe outside. And that I it, no more me time. Now I have some ideas: I will find a dance klass and go out with my daughter for a hot chocolate and a pretzel, because I have no adult friends to go out with, but I will make beautiful memories with my daughter. Wish me luck, thank you for being a friend.
Thank you so much Mel, its literally what i needed today to realize how happy i was back in college. I will keep it up to take care of myself.
Wait until you are in the second book, it's amazing! I read the 3 books like 5 years ago, and I loved them, a lot of surprises and love im the book.
It took me a minute. My childhood was a bit dramatic between my parents. But as I really thought about, my happiness was with my best friends. Rose and Jennifer as a child. Melissa in college. Thank you ❤
I could not think of a super happy time but what was important to hear was that that was OK and to also learn from the times I wasn't happy and why I wasn't happy and create a future where I'm not repeating those patterns and I'm not doing the things that didn't make me happy then. I really needed to hear that today! Thank you so much Mel and crew!!
You covered so many great things! Cheers to the little things...🎉
It helps me to time travel back to the stuff i did as a kid which is allowed in adulthood! Exploring, making art i.e.sketch, journal, write a letter with pen and paper, paint/cut out magazines, paste, play or learn to play music, cup of hot chocolate/coffee/tea, pat your dog, smiles at strangers. Walks. Bike rides. Unclench. Be you, not comparing.
(No social media is a key. Healthy, useful RUclips is an exception🌞. Useless Poison are Facebook, insta, tiktok) An expedition, a day trip on a day off, being a visitor to your own city or town. Bird watching. Any nature. Present tense. This all makes me kinder to myself and therefore kinder to others and able to help.
Thanks, Mel. A friend died a few days ago and you have helped IMMENSELY with this exercise, and with all you do. ❤🎉 Life is temporary, and it's wonderful.
I haven’t gone to sleep yet and it’s 4:44am and I was just about to lay down and I saw your video notification
This exercise was interesting for me… at first, I saw myself in 2016 as the “Rave King”, before kids, lots of drugs and sex, surrounded by friends… until I remembered our honeymoon in Mexico last month. I was truly happy most days. Woke up early to get to the water, unlimited food and drinks, real relaxation, sun & palm trees, naps on Bali beds, break from kids…
I’m still not sure what clues I can correlate. Other than maybe I just need to fuckin relax. Wake up earlier. And take naps.
Befit sewoch endemiketatelung salawek befit dess yamileng gize ke 4 eske 6 yaneberkubet timihert bet dess yeleng naber... Ahun laye gen yabefitu gize (2016 G. c) befit yalew gize kahulum yeteshale neber. Eske ahun yasalefkuten gize experience befit laye benoreng eyandandwan ken befisum desta enorew naber... Freedom is everything!!
This was great Mel thank you❤
A great exercise, I was wondering how to help my granddaughter, this is going to change her life. ❤️
🥰 listening to your podcasts and John Kims,, today is the happiest day I have had in a very very long time. Thank you 😄
Wow, just started listening to this podcast and I already liked the idea
This is incredible, Mel! Watching this brought back vivid memories of my high school dance troupe days. It wasn't just the practices and rehearsals that came to mind; I was transported back to those breaks when we'd share fried green peas and soft drinks with a partner. Those moments were filled with laughter and conversations that created a profound sense of belonging and community.
This exercise makes me feel sick in the stomach as it takes me back to a world which doesn’t exist for me anymore. It takes me back to when I was still raising my kids and had many genuine friends. Those friends are now scattered all over the world and we have drifted apart and the kids, who are now adults, also live in a different country. I would give anything to go back to that time in my life 😢
Same. The dark cloud over my head is a constant reminder of what cannot be again. I was happier when: my income was stable, my closest family member was alive, I was a stay at home mom, I had time for hobbies. I didn't choose to lose half my income, lose a very special loved one, spend so much time working to keep things going that I have no time for hobbies and less time for my kid. It just sucks. Childhood was awesome. No responsibility. No real world worries. Fuck it. Time to move back home and be a tax dependant on mom and pops again.
Thank you for this wonderful episode Mel! I did this exercise and found several things that I need to bring back into my life: spending time with my friends, singing and dancing freely, drawing freely, and doing crafts. I've been so tired and drained from my job in the last few months and wondered what made me so sad. The exercise you presented in this episode has shown me the clues to make my life happy again daily and weekly.
I love you Mel, you're my hero!!!
💪♥️🥰
Thanks so much for this!
During 2016-2017, I was searching for God and ended up spending some time at Standing Rock (mass encampment on Native American land in North Dakota).
Every morning I’d wake up in a big tent surrounded by my friends. We’d roll out and go to morning ceremony, eat breakfast at one of the kitchens, and then split off to do our daily work routine during the daylight hours. We’d reconvene for sunset, eat dinner, escape the cold night air in our sleeping bags, and talk until we fell asleep.
It felt like we were participating in a grand experiment, a movement that would change forever the way we live our daily lives.
Our time together eventually came to an end, but the spiritual shift we experienced stayed with us forever.
/woowoo
Mel Robins you are so amazing and very caring. Thank you so much for sharing and yes I shared this video with my granddaughter who has my heart. I love this information because it simple and it works. God bless you and continue to help us realize it’s the small steps to happiness that create a happy me!!! High Five 👋🏼🥳💕
I love that book and I read them all. Have fun 🥰
Thank you Mel. As I was trying to look back at a time I was the happiest it’s actually now. I’ve made it my mission to completely change the direction of my life I’ve lost 75 lb move to a new state and pursuing everything I’ve always wanted. I feel like I’ve had to endure all that dark stuff in order to really enjoy the light. The problem I’m facing is patience. I want things to fixed in a day. This video reminded me that my happy place is today and to not sweat the little stuff :)
I love your style and your mind
Oh my... that was extraordinarily painful for me, but also wonderfully freeing. It's not that I don't remember being happy in the past, but they tended to be 'moments', not extended periods. What really set me off was when you mentioned something about the garden and I remembered making rivulets of water with my brother weaving them through the flowers. And then I remembered that I had forgotten all about it until the 12th April 2020, when we were chatting on the phone about it because he was doing it with his son in his garden where he lived and that was the beginning of COVID. I said I would try and get to see him but was not sure when and that was the last time I spoke to him because he died on the 21st. (from alcohol-related liver disease) and I cried so much yesterday remembering that! You also mentioned feeling safe and I remembered that, as a child, I didn't feel safe. I've never felt very safe and, as a result, I've made ill-informed decisions and daft mistakes, because I panicked! But it reminded me of my resilience and the strength I've found through multiple setbacks and my current journey and the book I'm editing, which I have researched and written for 6 years and how all that pain from my childhood and my recent past is only serving to create a much happier me. So... when I transport myself back, I can choose many, many happy moments, as a child, growing up and travelling, bringing up my two wonderful kids, working as a university lecturer, but when I bring myself back to the present and think about how I feel, right here, right now. I think this is my happiest time. So I want to say a HUGE thank you to you Mel Robbins, you beautiful being,, because that exercise yesterday released something deeply profound and necessary. I had something of an epiphany yesterday and I feel happy and free
Thank You for sharing Your story x
Got some great clues… thank you! 🙏 Will try 🎉
I ALWAYS used to do photography. Even before I had a dedicated camera, on my little metro slide phone even haha. Listening to this, I realized that I haven’t gotten out in nature and just taken pictures since COVID began. Thank you Mel 🖤
You really are Amazing Mel ! Thanks from the bottom of my heart for ALL the Love and ENCOURAGEMENT your give to everyone listening!! Love YOU
I went back to when I was in middle class. Going to school, learning new things, spending time with my family, have many friends and a bestie, going to church and praying often. I felt whole, confident, worthy and didn’t care about being validated by guys and just wanted to have fun with my friends and family. It was such a beautiful time in my life. Life was different
Even though I have many of those things today, it’s interesting how life never felt broken back then. Anxiety and overthinking wasn’t a big part of my reality when I was a kid and I didn’t even know what that meant lol. Fun exercise, I will embrace more of that little version of myself that loved life and just went after exactly what she wanted and kept her promises to herself😂🥰
I remember before covid I was in a traditional arts school. I would go into the studio in the mornings and make coffee, and set up my station just in time to see the sun rise, So I would run to the window and watch it go up. I would sit in silence and watch as life came alive, students were slowly on the move and I was feeling more awake and fresh. then I would start creating, I would put on a podcast, music, or a movie and just create. I could seriously be there all day and only really stop when my friend came to the studio to get me for dinner. Then at dinner we would connect on our days and if I had my sketch book I showed him my ideas, and shared my thoughts with him. I am no longer in contact with my friend, but I do think of him often. :)
U r just amazing Mel ❤
Yes! I'm so glad your coworker talked about her childhood. I completely relate and feel the same way. After childhood, I was always working 2-3 jobs or 1 job plus going to college. Always too much on my plate. But I can locate brief happy moments during all of that.
I have been journaling for years…truly a game changer!! Loved this episode.
Best times riding my bike with my friends….totally carefree!!
First happy memory that comes to mind if my first trip to Hawaii. I hit to see what people described as paradise. Traveling to the mountains in Scottsdale and Sedona (fresh mountain air). As a kid, playing with play-dough and making Barbie furniture of of recycled things around the house. I was so good at it. Seeing my parents impressed with my creativeness. I see how my list is growing by the minute. Thank you Mel ❤
I recently realized that I desperately missed doing something creative that resulted in a finished product. This came after a few (more than a few if I'm honest) years of feeling stuck and bland in my own life.
I recently took up latch hook rug making. It is amazing to feel satisfied in the creation process that results in a beautiful rug. I didn't realize just how much I missed that feeling.
Mel, this podcast spoke directly to me and I've listened 3 times already. I'm a seasoned woman of wisdom who needed to hear everything you had to say here. Bless you. I'm working on my paper with the column down the middle. You're right, we know the answers and sometimes we just need a nudge. :)
Mel I just want to say Thank You💗
I love this! ❤ When I look back I was happiest when I was in nature - in the forest, at the beach, surrounded by our animals. And when I look at the things that bring me joy now, it’s nature and my animals. One thing that I love is when I go out and feed the birds - it’s so simple but just brings me joy. Being out with my dogs is the same - happiness. It’s definitely a sign that I need more nature in my life ❤️🌲🍁💐🐚🍄🪻
Hi I'm from Cambodia I love ur podcasts 😊
I’d think this would be much easier when one is still healthy and in a certain age range like Mel’s daughter, but at 70, with multiple health issues and operations, which keeps me from doing what I used to love - sports, hiking and such, even gathering with family as much as I’d like to, and having endured losses of parents and others much loved, and my happiest time being birth to about 12, it’s quite a challenge to find anything I could bring from that lifetime into this one. Health is everything.
Wow, I've missed a few pod-cast. So glad I caught this one. I found my Happy Place. It was so easy. It's my time with family and friends and also when I'm moving my body. I'm going to spend some more time going back and forth through the portal. The list just keeps growing. Thanks again for what you do!
Thank you Mel. I was a little surprised that my happiest moment was being at home with my only daughter for her first year. We took nature walks, long naps, played, etc. She was a long awaited dream come true. It was a such a slow, gentle and dreamy time in my life. What does this mean? I need something to nurture & grow, to get outside in beautiful places and follow the rhythms of the natural world.
My happiest times of a day are my morning meditation and my daily nature walk! ❤
Ugh, I discovered I was happy when I had people around who I had some bond with, not necessarily my tribe but a bunch of people who liked me, accepted me and wanted me around. It made me realise the extent of my isolation throughout the years due to trauma. Now, it's easy to find people when you go to school, it's not as easy as an adult. I wanted to move, one reason is to get distance from my unhealthy family dynamics, but now I'm worried I will be alone and it doesn't serve me.
Super strong SENIORS !!! POSSIBILITIES??? 60s & 70 yrs. Young wonderful precious SENIORS RESPECTABLE DIGNIFIED WOMEN EARTHWIDE !!! REAL STABILITY!!!! YES?
one of my best friends who i met at a job i had , passed away at new year 💔 he was an amazing true and best friend to me for almost 16 years . i miss him so much 💔 xxx
First one i watching with you and iloved you thank you mel ❤️🥰
Maybe she was writing in her journal at that cafe, that she was a filmmaker, working with amazing team, committing to a change in the world, etc.😊
Great post Mel ❤👍🙏🙌
You are right, the little things makes us happy….i couldn’t actually visualise or go back when I was happy as I am usually only happy on my holidays 😃
But I am like you …I like being outside, being able to walk to work.i remember being happy to hang out with my family and now I live overseas as I did the big change 16 years ago ….
Thank you Mel for your episodes, they have helped me so much, especially when I was feeling lost…I am regaining my path and feeling centered again 🤗
Aha, I do this..i have been doing this- so, I am on the right track. Love it.
Oh my goodness, I just did this exercise and the happy me vs the now me are so total opposites. I think I need professional help! What a great way to pin point life! Not sure if I want to cry or be excited about finding my way back! Day 1 - we will see!
Was obsessed with A Court of Thorns and Roses back in 2014! It's honestly addictive and the second book is even better! 😂
How interesting that something only gets attention 10 years later. 🏜👩🦳💚🍀
I love you, Mel ❤
You're real, relatable, and have an inner light that feeds us all.