FEAR: The #1 Obstacle to CPTSD Recovery (Resilience Series #1)
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- Опубликовано: 3 ноя 2019
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This woman has such extraordinary clarity...and she tells us she had extreme brain and emotional disregulation from childhood trauma ... so she has come such a long way! that plus her simple, uncomplicated compassion. I am really impacted. thank you.
Thank you, so glad it helps!
Couldn’t agree more. I feel blessed to have found your videos CCF!
Agreed
Great insight! Agree!
Yes, it's nice to hear this in basic words. Amen.
I so desperatly wanted someone to rescue me as a child. I would daydream about what that would be like.
Now as an adult, my inner child is alive and well, I finally made the decision to be that person for the child in me. It very much made a diffference, when I decided to be her protector, her rescuer. Which meant not letting my mother abuse her anymore.
It's such a relief when we really grasp we can now save ourselves :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy exactly. It's incredibly relieving and I'm so thankful to have gotten the gist of this, finally after 30 years...still at the beginning of my journey but looking forward to it, because I have ME as a protector 😭😭🙏
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Exactly. How beautiful is it to have what we need right here with us ALL THE TIME.
Margaret Paul is pretty good as well Inner bonding.
I used to wish I was adopted because I hoped that I had a different father out there that would actually love me.
I started, with this video, to take notes. Writing has always solidified concepts for me. @4:50 : "You are not broken forever..." has brought me to tears. I am 74, and have been a cPTSD sufferer since the age of 6 or 7. With little in my history to prove you right, I still have made much progress in healing over this past decade. I am determined to prove you right; and free my real self - a concept I have held dear for a long time. Thank you.
Bless you in this endeavor. I think 74 is an ideal age, with some time pressure to get free at last, and full agency to take productive action. Please stay in touch with the channel (or come join my member community) so we can all hear how it's going!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy - Your reply is uplifting; sincere thanks!
@Steve C your post brought me to tears.
If I could hug you now, I would.
I'm proud of you! I hope you're even more healed than 8 months ago❤️🩹🫂
@@Lyddiebits - Thanks. The healing, and the Living, continues...as do the tears.
@Steve C I agree. Absolutely. I'm 49, and at the same age as you, I am dealing with cptsd.
We have to keep living, healing and yes the tears are part of it.
I hope the sun shines on you today ✨️ 💜
“You are NOT your trauma”. I needed to hear that, thank you 🙏🏻❤️
I was raised by a parent who survived significant neglect, abuse and traumatic experience so I began watching you in order to understand and love her, but discovered that being raised by such a troubled individual is traumatic in itself. Granted, to a lesser degree but damaging nonetheless. I began to understand and, hopefully one day, love myself as well as to love her. Thank you.
That's beautiful. I'm moved that you would do that for her. You're a good soul.
This is the comment I needed. I survived a lot of abuse, and I now have two kids. A big fear of mine is passing off the effects of my trauma to my kids, even though I'd never abuse them.
Thank you for your perspective.
It’s so wonderful that you’re learning more about cPTSD to better love your mom AND yourself ❤️❤️
It’s a terrible feeling to know I passed on some maladaptive behaviors to my daughter.
"Let your faith be bigger than your fears."
Love that!
Amen. Thank you Jesus
This made me tear up because it felt like finally being seen, heard and understood. It felt very validating. Thank you. Just what I needed to hear right now. 🧡
Thank you @Jenny E! So grateful you are here!
She is amazing in this aspect. And she is genuine.
Jenny E. I feel this. God, I feel this.
Jenny E. Well said. Me too. No judgement in her voice. I just hear judgement in everything!
I have episodes of debilitating, crippling fear that completely unhinges my world. The only way through it, ironically, is what I call my $78 insurance policy (from a particular episode years ago). It was the cost of a cheap shotgun at the local department store. I never actually bought the gun, but just knowing I could relieved enough of the disabling fear to allow me to take another breath. And then another. And one after that.
Love your channel. I was abused physically, emotionally and religiously as a child. I finally went "crazy" at 21 years old from all the built up trauma. It has taken me 20 years to come out of the darkness, reclaim my identity, and begin the healing process.
So glad you made it! Thanks for being here.
Abused religiously... So well said. I've experienced it too. But it's such a taboo topic, it's hard to express it without being criticised. It seems like one type of abuse that's forbidden to talk about, even within the healing communities. Thank you for your comment. It's very validating to know I'm not alone. All the best for you in the healing process.
I have been spiritually abused too. And, the tv evangelists use a lot of guilt messages to feed their pockets. Not all of them but most.
Justin Peters on I tube exposes a lot of them in his videos called clouds without water. God, please heal your children who.have been damaged by these wolf's!
Sophilia Lark-Woodbury so you will!!!!
❤️🤗
“There must be something deeply wrong with me”
It sucks to hear this verbally while also feeling it for 20+ years
Thank you for your kindness.
You’re not alone!
Letting go of fear is so difficult. I honestly feel paralyzed. I can't even have a simple conversation without beating myself up and putting myself down for hours or days afterward
Hi @Cherished, if your handle here on YT means you have a relationship with God, I suggest you try my Daily Practice and don't worry about "letting go" of fear. Ask God to remove it. I provide prayers as well as secular sign-offs a person can use. it's the only thing that ever helped me!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I'm still working up to doing it. I know journaling helps me. Actually I do artistic journaling, drawing, painting, writing lyrics, just pouring my heart out to God. it helped me get more stable a couple years ago. So I know it helps, right now I just have zero motivation. I'm hoping watching your videos will help nudge me towards action. I'm just exhausted, scared and tired of hoping only to have my world fall apart. I'm getting closer to feeling capable of the activity. I'm just not there quite yet
Same goes for me too.
You are such a blessing to so many people! I've listened to hundreds of RUclips videos and audio books to understand and get a handle on the symptoms of CPTSD, but none are as simple, direct, soothing and enjoyable as yours. I love that you named yourself a fairy because you really do spread the magic of hope and healing to others. May you be blessed a thousand times in return.
Aw, you have made my day @Donna Lowe. Thanks for your kindness and encouragement!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy
It's also good that you didn't set yourself up as some kind of guru or specially-titled person. You have kept yourself relatable, and you have kept things simple. That's important.
The years I spent in therapy felt like the “blah blah blah” sessions that reminded me of the sounds that the adults made in Charlie Brown’s world. Then I clicked on your video... and for the first time in my life I found someone that’s relatable to. Thank you for being so open. It’s 4am and I get some sleep and enroll in your course.
So glad you found me! Hope it's going well.
Same!!!!
I was told recently, that the letters in FEAR stand for: False Evidence Appearing Real…
Reminding myself of this abbreviation when I start experiencing fear & anxiety, has helped me a lot recently! 🙏🏼
I will remember that thanks
Thank you Anna. I’m seriously hurting and I’ve been scared that I was gonna change to a bitter person who’s barely making life happen. This gives me hope again.
Nothing could make me happier than to hear that you are aware of this. That's a very powerful place to be.
Wow, I could've written EXACTLY what you wrote!
@@user-or1ye3iz6d Me too.
When I was a child let’s say I was two and three my mother move to New York with me and my sister, who is a year older than me. She was unwed, and she had to go to work.. she left us in the house for more than eight hours a day when we had to listen to rats in the walls. We were so afraid we clung to each other until my mother would come home and even add that she was so tired she couldn’t pay us any attention. We would eat bread with sugar on it or bread and milk. We were so poor because of this, I have had seven marriages, and it isn’t until recently that I really started to do the work and then I found your program which is really helping me to do the work and not only that to spread the word throughout my community on my channel. Thank you for validating that I’m not crazy.
Less and less fear on this end, but its taken decades. Decades.
Healing is so very well worth the work; it feels as if the ‘work’ is all I do.
The rewards, though, integration, a sense of identity, a vision to actually plan for the next stage of life, having a date now and again -
Freer, stronger and a greater sense of self.
So worth it, Anna.
Thank you for your part in helping the many heal🙏
Thank you @Pete!
So happy to read about your progress! 🌟 I can relate, it’s also taken me DECADES. But at 48, I’m far less fearful & more serene than I’ve ever been. These videos are a goldmine for my continued healing 🙏🏻
Jillian: This content is definitely a good resource 🙏
“Looping in the side -effects of trauma...” - this really clicked for me. The mother of all side-effects is fear. I’m experiencing fear consciously for the first time in my life - it was always concealed by fawning, people-pleasing, denial or isolation. This kind of recognizable fear is so debilitating and to know it’s a fantasy is so helpful. I have to find the way to release this fear because it’s all in my head and I know it. Just have to figure out how to let it go.
The daily practice is helping me! I hope you'll try it.
Something that has really helped me personally is knowing who I am in Christ. It is truly the anchor for my soul. No matter what I feel from that time, all of the fear, worry, and self doubt, I have something that I can stand on and trust. Everything that I think I am, and everything that anyone else says that I am apart from what God's Word says is false. There was so much freedom for me when I learned this.
Amen!!!
I feel that my biggest weakness is..passion. Jobs or relationships that are ‘lukewarm’ tend to be ok for me. But when I get passionate about some people and jobs, I become insecure, controlling and anxious and all the CPTSD symptoms (dysregulation, insecurity, etc)comes up and ironically drive people and success away.
Important insight!!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I have been doing this technique for almost a month and it’s been really wonderful for me. I’m a Christian so my meditation is prayer, so I hand over all the resentments and fears to God. It’s been very freeing. I love all your videos. I am really starting to feel some healing and light come in. I started a low carb diet about 2 1/2 months ago, I’m down 25 lbs, I feel better. I deactivated my social media accounts because of addiction and way too much phone time and I have been doing a lot of different things and I’m more self aware. I became very disregulated last week, I tried some of the techniques you have shared and they helped, the writing technique has really helped with this, I was afraid I would feel worse, but I don’t, I feel better. I do cry when I write and pray, but it’s been healing and I feel better. I need to take the next step and do some of the courses, money is a little tight right now but I’m working on that too. Thanks for everything. It’s so wonderful to listen to someone who understands, again… thank you!!
Wonderful to hear about your progress!
-Cara@TeamFairy
So true I always want be rescued which is silly as I am an adult now
I hear you, because I am stupid, incompetent, a girl. What could I possibly know? A lot! But it took decades of therapy and self love to realize that.
Remember, it's that part that wants rescuing, it is not "you." You are the adult who can now rescue that part. ❤ I am learning that too.
So true!
Not silly. xo
My years of self abuse after my initial childhood traumas are now showing up as major physical issues. I can no longer medicate and run away. I deserve a chance at this life and so thankful someone has gone before me and is offering help out of the insanity.
Oh my gosh, I thought my baggage was unresolved resentment and feelings of injustice. Now I realize that the root of that is fear.
It's a great realization because you can do something about it!
-Cara@TeamFairy
HI Anna I just did the free connection quiz and said yes to all 25 questions, I could relate to about half of the questions on the CPTSD questionnaire. I have isolated to the point of having nobody close except a relative I just lost. I didn't truly realize how much I counted on that one everyday friendship. I do feel so awkward with people, like a have a lampshade on my head but see I need to work really hard on connections and I am ready now.
I am so afraid to go out where people are. Yet if I don't, I feel so hopeless, like I have no purpose at all on earth. It's gotten worse as I start to know what's happened and peel away the fake bravado. I'm old now, but, I mean, I used to work and see people. Not now. Thank you for caring!
Staying connected is important. We have many opportunities for that in our membership bit.ly/CCF-Membership
-Cara@TeamFairy
You are the mother figure I needed growing up. Thank you so much for what you do. I've never felt this understood before. :,)
Thanks for this kind note. I'm honored! And it's Mother's Day too.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Mother's Day and Father's Day are very difficult for me. My dad was abusive and my mom suffered from the effects of neglect herself, which drove her to prioritize my dad over the kids for what she thought was peace-keeping. So I would essentially be forced to be nice to my all-around abusive dad for birthdays and fathers days. I have a deeply gross feeling on father's day, and a general feeling of disappointment on mother's day. :/
I don't know how I stumbled across this channel, but I'm so grateful.
same here
I'm glad you're here!
And I'm glad YOU"RE here too!
I'm mostly here to find ways to help my wife deal with her anxiety and fears of abandonment(or more selfishly(which by itself is a huge guilt burden): help me dealing with the fallout of it), but damn...this is so much more than just lifting the veil on cptsd, it's an insight in the human psyche.
I don’t think it’s inherently selfish to want to know how to deal with the fallout, though I agree, it can get tough and it does come with complicated feelings.
Rey_Nemaattori not selfish at all, we all gain by learning more about ourselves and having more compassion for others
-Cara@TeamFairy
Fear has ruined my life and has been the primary theme in it. I did NOTHING with the years I have been given and it is all because I have been afraid of when the next bad thing was going to hit me. I wish I would have had these insights 40 years ago. I want to try this to try to salvage what life I have left but it is hard to argue with the negative thoughts of "what's the point at 60 years old..." 😢
"what's the point?" is the C-PTSD talking. You can do this, start here bit.ly/3608opl
-Cara@TeamFairy
I'm 63. I did nothing too. I think in the end the fact that you were doing the work to overcome it is what matters. There's no finish line. You get as far as you get.
I hear ya. 60 is the new 40! Your next 30+ yrs could be THE BEST YET!!! ❤
Anna, I absolutely love the way you explain this.....stuff....you are talking to me....and I'm hearing you so clearly. I wish I'd been with you 25 years ago, too.....lol...but that's okay, I'm here now....🤗
Yep, here now! It's where all the fun is...
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy YES!😃
Karen...my first thought after finding Anna was the SAME! Im so glad we are here now!
Anna, I praise God for bringing you in my world. Listening to you feels like you've read my mail. God knows I need help. Thank you
I'm so glad Anna's videos have been helpful, thank you for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I've been attacked by so many different people over and over in childhood. Like I had a target painted on me. I feel like if I discard the fear, it will leave me open for more attacks. It has really shut down my life for decades.
We're getting rid of the fears that keep us stuck, nothing that you need for self-preservation will go :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
This is the goal. I think this video is the game changer. I've been looking for a trauma therapist and with the situation in the pandemic and scheduling, it's harder than I thought. My friends have offered to lend a listening ear but I don't want to bother them and all they're going to hear is me crying, a solution for all of it is not going to happen in one day or one weekend. I am willing to tell them what it is that day, but next week or tomorrow it will be different. Thank you for sharing.
Lighthearted and funny on the surface.
Man this is like me to a T.
Stop being afraid of showing vulnerability.
Glad you can relate!
Showing vulnerability is not appreciated a lot and gets the vultures to smell someone wounded😖 Meanwhile, being strong and happy all the time nobody sees how much we are struggling. I've literally been through hell and people didn't even notice. how is there a way to keep a middle ground? I'm either this or that...it's really hard
@@philimaI feel you
"The thing that happened, it's over". Never thought of it that way. "Your fear about what it means lives on". Hard to get my head around this.
Finally, something useful from the RUclips recommendations. Off to watch *all* videos now.
Lol! Glad you are here.
Thank you for this! I’ve heard so many people say things like, “ that happened in the past, let it go, you survived, it’s not important anymore, don’t dig up old stuff”, etc. Abuse and neglect did happen in the past and it’s over, but the affects of it, mainly the fear, still lives in my body and brain!! Thank you for putting words to something I have experienced my entire life!! I’m going to try your daily practice:)
Definitely try out the Daily Practice, it's a game-changer!
You are a gift from God to me! Thank you for doing the work and sharing your knowledge. 44 year old who is being transformed as we speak. ❤
Wonderful!
I found it's not always fear, or "flight", but also sometimes "fight" or an automatic aggressive response to things that are a problem but not as big of a problem as I make them out to be. I'm trying meditation and it helps change my outlook on things overall but doing it daily for that long is difficult. I don't know if it's because I'm just lazy or what but every little bit helps and I'm getting better slowly everyday.
These videos you do help so many people. Thank you. Unfortunately not everyone reaches out to get help so maybe they'll wander into this video and more. Thank you again.
And hello to my therapist if they are watching this too lol
Thanks for your comment. If it's any comfort, meditation bores me but I do it anyway because it heals me. And sometimes it's actually pretty pleasant.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy that’s the thing a lot of people who promote the self care movement should remember (not talking about anyone here), self care isn’t about actively seeking pleasure (though getting pleasure from regularly performed self care techniques isn’t a bad thing!). It’s making sure your needs are met, even the unglamorous ones!
I'm so glad you're doing this! I'm so excited for the rest of the series! Thaaaaank yewwwwww for existing! :)
Thank YOU!
At 32 years old I’m finally finding my way out of the dark. This is so helpful, thank you.
So glad!
33 for me. I know the feeling.
@@kimsmith9605 33 here too
I have been looking for this for so long. Thank you for giving a name to this thing I have been blaming and faulting myself for in every way, every failure (real or perceived), every isolated keeping my ‘darkness’ away from others-decisions. Thank you for a light in this fog.
I've been praying for help, wondering what to do, I don't know how I found you but thank God I did
Yes you did!
I sure hope this is God's providence. I've also been praying for God's help.
Anna, you have no idea how much you have inspired me to heal and have helped me realize that what happened to me and who I am are not synonymous. I have felt so alone and so hopeless for so long. I literally whimpered at the part you said about feeling like life is passing you by. It’s not a feeling I’d wish on anyone, but it’s indescribable how relieving it is to know that someone else can not only identity with that, but put it into words that I never could so that I can understand what it actually is, beyond just another feeling about another thing wrong with me. I can’t wait to be absent of this fear, and I’m just so happy to be learning that it’s possible. I’ve been diagnosed with generalized anxiety, ADHD, and PTSD. I’ve never had a doctor ever mention the existence of complex PTSD, or any of the healing practices you show us. You and the other people that are educating people about it and helping them are truly heroes. THANK YOU!!
A very important video for those of us working on healing from codependency. After watching this video, I changed how I wrote my next column. Used a more confident voice, and it got a much stronger response. Thank you for this video and all your work.
Thanks so much for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Well....you are answer to prayer... thank you for being in the world thank you for enduring persevering and giving I am looking forward to the courses
Thank you for this kind comment! I'm glad you're here!
I reallyyyy want to believe I am not a magnet for crazy people.
Here's the secret: THEY are magnets for us. Until we get better.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy ooh, that’s a great way of thinking about it. I don’t meet many “crazy” people (I’m more of a hermit type, when I don’t have to go out), but I do still run into people who remind me of school bullies now and then, even if we only interact (or they interact “at me” as I’m trying to mind my own business) for a few seconds. Hope that makes sense!
My tears rolled down my face as I listened to you validating trauma. For the first time I feel as if someone truly understands. You are believable, genuine and truly caring and inspirational Thank you for posting these videos. I have suffered numeros very serious traumas over 40 years now. On top of this the love of my life my husband abandoned me recently. I feel total betrayal from him and in a place which is now filled with chronic depression, absolutely desperate for help, I have feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, anxiety/panic, grief, fear, pain even anger. I have started doing some terrible self soothing things like shopping and then hoarding recently, overdoing everything or doing lack anything at all. Feeling totally disregulated emotionally. I feel powerless to help myself even feeling lost, broken and very alone. Don't know how to crawl out of my despair.
Make your way over the the Crappy Childhood Fairy Land- we would love to help bit.ly/2rukHvh
-Cara@TeamFairy
Gratitude!!! I found my healer
I love this! I feel it. Hugs from Norway ❤🤟
Tusen takk @25johis!
Hey Norway
Thank you for your videos. I had no idea I have been experiencing CPTSD until I watched many of your videos. I had been thinking all these years that I was simply an angry and aggressive person, unmotivated and lazy, getting from bad to worse. In fact, I am typing this in a hospital ward because I fainted in the streets 7 days ago. This is the second or third time I was close to losing my life just like that (could be also due to binge eating and self hatred etc...) Being in the hospital for this long led me to watch RUclips and this is when I found your videos. Everything you said, clicked. I am starting to forgive myself, accept my past and starting to belief that I can also heal myself so that I can make my dreams come true. Thank you again for pushing forward with your blog that led to the creations of these videos.
Fear of being alone and abandoned.
Terror really
You’ve done it once again! I felt so understood and closer to reality when you mentioned how things like “fearing not” work drastically differently for people & especially for those w/ childhood/complex PTSD
I appreciate everything you saying and your right. But the part that breaks my heart to pieces and pisses me off is, other people have crap about them too. They have issues, they have things they do that can be off putting, and I have always stuck with them. When you love someone you stand with them in their struggles, as they mature, when they get it right or wrong. Love does that. But then, they are capable of abandoning me. Not prioritizing me. My best friends of 20-30 years, family, new friends. Sure I do some of the things you've mentioned, as do they, as do we all at times but I hold too them, they discard me. I know I need this video because I've had a rough couple of days dealing with this fact. It's my daughter's sweet sixteen party and she wants a big one but we don't have people to invite. I've set a terrible example for her on how to have relationships. Anyway. I guess I needed to publicly throw a pity party lol but I subscribed lol so I'll probably throw another lol
We encourage trying out the Daily Practice- a lot of us have gotten free of needing others to recognize their bad behaviors and we want freedom!
-Cara@TeamFairy
"The Fear. Always the Fear." How many times have I written those words since I began trying to heal from a lifetime of trauma? Early into therapy was the first time, they just wrote themselves one day - and I was shaken to the core. For most of my adult life I've been able to project confidence, so much so I had myself convinced. Until all those decades of unresolved trauma started crashing down and crushing me under so.much.Fear. I'm working hard at healing. A large part of that, for me, is writing. I've heard you talk about this technique but I haven't checked it out yet (fear). This week I will.
Great! We believe in it-I've been using this techniqe for 12 years & Anna for 30 bit.ly/3608opl
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy huh, that's a commitment made and kept, I registered & downloaded, told myself I didn't have to watch the videos today... but I did...and I'm glad. It's enough for today. Thank you💜 Around the Fear, I look forward to using your suggestions.
This made me cry so much I am always scared I went to my doctor crying hysterically she kept asking me what was wrong and all I could say was I don’t know 😢
Thanks for being here, have you tried the Daily Practice? bit.ly/38JfzK1
-Cara@TeamFairy
So.... does this really good sounding advice apply to me if I’m already 58 years old and about to have to start everything all over again?
Absolutely!
Sounds like me...🙄 i looked so strong etc, people who were in roles to support me would instead use me for asserting themselves, and no one else, because they figured i could “take it.” 😡😢
Yes, I know what you're saying. Looking strong does come in handy. Allowing vulnerability to show is risky, but can balance things out.
I feel you
Crying while listening this video! I wish I heard this years ago.
Thanks for watching and sharing, glad. you're here!
I wish I could take a sabbatical away from work and every responsibility and just focus on myself and healing.. I can see you are genuine through your expression. You have made it to the other side of abuse and trauma.. I’d like to join you there 😊. BLESSINGS!! 🙏🏾
I’m afraid, because of physical abuse, I don’t tolerate the idea of someone doing injury to my body, the idea makes me panic, however irrational. I have to have a procedure and probably surgery, I can handle the first, but I don’t know about surgery. The injury is life saving in this case, doesn’t seem matter, my rationale mind may rule the day, but the rest of me is triggered, pretty much thinking I’d rather perish. PTSD just makes everything more complicated, on the other hand probably everyone is frightened by this diagnosis. All I want to do is scatter, flight! I can’t, I’m trapped, I know captivity. I’m in for some hard weeks my friend. If I were further along with PTSD it might be different, just not there yet. The truth is these feelings are the trap, I’ll be listening until the net unravels. ♥️🕊🌹
Glad you are here, there are some strategies on Crappy Childhood Fairy website that might not be as painful as you think :) crappychildhoodfairy.com/
-Cara@TeamFairy
My story well, been trying to rewrite it for 30 years. I started 12 steps then. I really, really did try. I tried sooooo hard. I wish everyone good luck. Many can surpass this stuff. Not all.
Always appreciate you!
I'm so excited to learn from you.
Oh good! Welcome!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you.Everything you talk about I can relate to in so many levels.
This is what is really needed right now. Well timed. Thank you.
Hey! My fairy sister! Glad you are here.
Mahalo for bringing me into the light, the darkness has been so consuming and overwhelming and you give me hope.
Hi. I live in the UK, I’m 65 years old and I have lived through more fearful moments than most people can imagine. I grew up in the Irish Troubles, basically a civil war. I left that to be a police officer in London! Frying pan/fire! I have been diagnosed as severely depressed, autistic, adhd etc and had therapy for nearly 35 years. I received awards for bravery but, I have never ever stopped being afraid! Nothing worked. Then I searched RUclips for videos on ‘who am I?’ and you popped up. Here we go again I thought. But you started talking and immediately and I mean immediately I knew you were different because everything you said I knew was describing me including Limerence! I’d never even heard of it! But, boy did I know it! I’d had that since I was about 4-5 years old. So, thanks, you are the real deal and I’m working on the daily practice and I will see how it goes. I hope to join either your course or maybe even a class if you come here, but no matter what, thank you for finally making my life sense and also finally I realised where it all began. I was 17 months old and had a baby sister of 12 weeks. My father, mother and us were in a two bed apartment and my little sister died. I now know that my life and my relationship with my parents changed forever that day and for some unknown reason my father disliked me intensely from that moment of time and my mother’s love evaporated. You have already helped me more than you may know. Thank you
Wow, I'm so glad the channel has been helpful. We're all here to support you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Such a great source of information
Glad you think so!
I’m watching a long ad so you can get paid. This information you share is so reassuring and comforting. Thank you so much.
You are so welcome! And thank you!
Increasing safety and security is something helpful for fear.
Thanks so much!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I've been lost again since I lost my mom a couple years ago. My abuse lasted through ages 8 to 15 and she was the only one who was really there and aware as I went through all the various therapies as it took me time over the years to open up.
You might change the world by the souls you're healing.
Also, that shirt is super rad and super distracting.
I started to write the personal inventory and some days later I got afraid from the exercise itself because it arised more negative feelings..this is how I am resisting the change, I got back to it today, it feels good to let things out on paper but as humans we tend to run away from bad experiences, fear is what had damaged me the most and it takes over sometimes I feel like loosing my mind :(
Thanks Anna for starting this series.. I don't feel alone in this anymore.
Hi @Randomly, one thing I emphasize to many is that writing fears and resentments is not a "search and destroy" mission. You are ONLY writing what is already in your mind. There is no need to dig or analyze. If you write 2x daily everything that needs to surface will, in due time. But the writing is meant to *relieve* you from troubling thoughts, not encourage you to look for them!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy ok thank you, I'll certainly try to see it as a relieve for my fears, it does help indeed.
I guess I started analysing them that's why I felt that way!
Thanks again, God bless you :)
Dear Anna, my situation is unique. Not only did I grow up the whipping post, 2 learning disabilities, isolated and bullied by my parents and school mates. I have severe cPTSD. However, one year ago after an 11 month marriage I was strangled to unconsciousness. I live in fear as all the trauma I've experienced have now risen to my consciousness and I am come undone.
@Julia I'm so sorry you had to go through all this! Sounds like you are at last free of that marriage? You can do this! Keep moving forward, no matter what the CPTSD is telling you. You are absolutely in the right place!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you for the encouragement. My resilience has left me for now but your videos are half of my therapy and you help us all. My PsyD therapist is incredibly impressed by your advice and perspective. I have 3 master's degrees and unable to work for now, the irony. I am divorced after a long battle and found out Monday he will walk with misdemeanor 4. Life feels imbalanced at the present but I am in the right place. Thank you for preaching your advice. It takes people like you to help people like us.
@@juliakennedy2995 hello Julia... i can relate to your abusive childhood experience.?. My mother was very brutal... growing up in the 1960s... child abuse wasn't recognized as a problem.?. Today is my first time hearing of CPTSD/ The crappy Childhood Fairy. It is impossible to imagine a life before trauma. My mother tried to kill me when I was 3 years old because my father didn't like me... i thought she killed my brother one day when he was about 9 years old.. By the time I was 13 years old I had 4 stepdads... had been in 4 foster homes... many different schools.?. Always the new kid... getting bullied, ridiculed, made fun of... Funny thing is... im 62 now and until January of this year I never said a word about all the traumatic experiences I have endured... can't go talk to my mother... she's dead... nor my brothers thier dead... my CPTSD is so ingrained and apart of who I am... I just can't imagine life any different... no matter how hard I try. I am so tired of anger... but yet... without it... ive got nothing.?. No motivation.?. No sence of courage.?. No stamina.?. No purpose etc etc ... can't afford a therapist, counselor, or even one of these online classes offered. This story doesn't end here... it's a whole lot worse.?. Except I'm positive someone else's story is even worse than mine...
@@richardlong9785 You must feel incredibly frustrated. Your cPTSD, as well as mine, formed who we are, why we feel so intensely, how we make decisions, maintain relationships, hold a job, it affects every single aspect of us so of course it’s impossible to understand how not to feel in constant trauma. I’m in the baby stages with my therapist distinguishing myself between me and my traumatized self. Identity work helped.
I can’t afford her classes either but as a prior therapist, I have resources. Sadly, I do not have friends or family and progress is 50% slower. I’m sometimes fearful to get better because change is scary. Fear is our enemy and we conquer it at our own pace. I hear you - I hear and acknowledge you. You are valid and worthwhile. It is very hard to walk towards fear. You’re not alone.
Fear has held me back for so many years and I never knew why I feared so much.people closest to me have hurt me so much I think everyone is out to hurt me. Anxiety and depression and fear etc. it’s hard to know who I am and why I can’t feel anything anymore. Ty for the videos
Thank you!! I feel I’m always in fear of something. I believe my narcissist mother really placed fear in me. I’ve always thought it was because I’m shy and an introvert but it’s my mother. Never being good enough for her and her always questioning me. Where are you going. What are you doing? Who are you hanging out with? And the Why questions. Why are you doing that, it’s dangerous. Don’t do it. Don’t go there. Be careful. Not letting me be independent. Put fear in me. I am afraid to look for a job. The ones I really want I don’t apply for and the ones I do, I’m let go from them or I’ve quit because boss or coworker is a narcissist. I want to heal from all this and I believe I’m on my way.
We support you!
-Cara@TeamFairy
The "support" has been right here! My gosh, resonated so much!!!! Thanks to you "hope!!"Anna thank you 100!!
This is me all over!. I live an insular life now because it's easier to keep myself separate. I avoid my neighbours for example because they will sooner or later start thinking me odd.
If you don't like staying separate, check out the website where there are more tools and techniques for healing
-Cara@TeamFairy
I know fear has been a problem since childhood. I aquired a belief that the world is violent and cruel. I have a problem with how people see me. I worry about their reaction to me and what I do.
thank you, this is what i needed to hear
Welcome.
you are saving lives. Thanks.
The more important You are not damage forever and you are not your trauma.
Precisely!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you, this is extremely helpful ☺️
You are the absolute best! Your work is so useful to me. I really appreciate your Insight!
I feel understood, and enlightened. I’m so excited learn more about this! Thanks for what you do 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Gosh, I love your teachings and your way of delivering a message in a non-judgmental and compassionate way. Many thanks, Anna, I hope you feel encouraged that your very hard work is bearing fruit among many...
Thank you for your kind words! I'm sure Anna will appreciate this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
You are an extraordinary person!
This message truly touched me; I'm crying out of self-love and joy.
I see you as a light in my life and my feelings.In the World with people like you,i can imagine to find true happiness ❤️
I respect this channel, and I'm so glad it was in my recommendations. God bless you.
All of your videos have awakened me
Thanks for your kind comments!
This channel taught me about Limerence. I don’t think I would be able to heal from it if I wasn’t able to identify it.
My God, this has been so validating. I cried so much. It's both illuminating as to what I can do going forward and confirming some of the healing I already experienced and where I'm free and more myself. Thank you so much Anna, God bless you 🤍🙏🌷
A series of unfortunate events led me to getting involved with some toxic people which was like taking a bat to the head. Upside, I'm awakening, and now am healing it all. Videos in toxic relationships were step one. I am very aligned with how you describe CPTSD, experiences with people and life, etc. Our paths were different yet I can relate to well. Thank you! Taking free mini course now. Likely will take the longer course, may do full membership for max value.
THIS! I am in tears! THANK YOU!!! It's like you pulled my innermost thoughts out of my head. I am so thankful to have stumbled on your channel. You said this is the first in a weekly series. Is there a playlist of the series so that I can follow in order?
I am so glad I found you today! Thank you so much for your work!
Thank you for this helpful video! It was much needed words of wisdom.❤️
Thank you this brings me tears to my eyes... 😢
Aw. You belong here.
I needed this so much
🙏🙏🙏
Thank you
Thank you thank you thank you!
I get great support by seeing your video.
Did the daily practice and I feel good and I will do it tomorrow thank you crappy childhood fairy. Much love
I have watched tons of self help videos! She is my absolute favorite!
You are an extraordinary person!!