Learned this lesson many moons ago: Just cause someone loves you or is in love with you doesn't mean they are looking out for your best interest. (This also includes familial relationships.)
My wife looks out for herself first, herchildren second, her boss third...... and reminds me that I don't live up to her fantasy. Into our 47th year, now. 😅 Love---- that is my wealth.
This is why I have always wanted financial independence. I’m not like a high power career woman trying to get on the Forbes 500, but I don’t want to ever feel like my safety and security is located outside of myself.
Not really it depends on the situation I don't have security like that and I'm still alive after all that happened to me women with trauma don't necessarily just give up and hide in a room that's what these people don't understand women all react differently to trauma after awhile we don't even see being alone the way other people do women process being alone as a reward it won't hurt us like an ordinary woman because they already damaged us so there's nothing left they can sabatoge but themselves. If they know this hurts women maybe they should stop doing it and if they're just looking for fun say it and stop pretending they want a deeper connection. Toying with someone's inner emotions like that just to get in there pants is totally different then just hooking up to have a good time if that's his only goal is to feel like he won then stay single do women a favor and don't corrupt anymore of us the way they did with my generation.
Ive had women tell me this and then argue that I shouldnt be allowed to own a firearm because they are dangerous and I should just call the cops in the case of something happening.
I am going to be absolutely honest - I felt most insecure, unhappy, unsafe and anxious while being in relationships with people who claimed they loved me. I left drained of my vitality, emotional well being, broken in a way. The highest currency we have is our precious energy - be very careful who you are giving it to. I have been single now for 4 years, the growth as a person I experienced is more than in my entire life. I am working for my money, my career, my financial independency. I don`t think all men are bad and only takers but I for sure learned that some people are only with you when it suits them.
Very true. Most men are very bad and untrustworthy. Romantic love is very flawed. You are doing the wise thing by building your own independence and practical foundation.
As a man i love hearing about women's perspectives, Teals videos are so illuminating. I hope women can be liberated from all forms of physical and mental chains
but what so many us middle aged folks have seen is exactly that, and all the while especially during this past decade or 15 years-ish when big parts of society were gaining knowledge about this, the old trends continued and compounded. I'm about to tell a woman friend that i've been profoundly discouraged by witnessing her remaining in an internally dysfunctional reality so she could attain what she thought was the right balance of success and financial security. I've postoned writing such a letter for 4 years, it's that difficult.
@@18_rabbit I think the problem is that after things are questioned people go back to obeying the institutions and social norms that caused the problems in the first place.
I appreciate and respect my husband. He is a real man. He protects and provides for me and our children. Coming from a home where I was abused and abandoned by my father, and then my brothers…this means a lot to me. I did have to do things on my own and build a hedge of protection for myself. As a woman we are responsible for our own inner strength and growth, but I appreciate my spouse for providing and protecting so that I can do the same for our children. The healthier our families are the better off our society becomes.
"He is a real man. He protects and provides for me and our children." Okay, so a man is a real man if he protects and provides. Then what's the thing a woman needs to do, in order to qualify as a real woman?
This woman in the video is absolutely delusional. Men wish there was equality. Women's privileges are insane in today's society. They have the right to destroy a man's life at a mere will, using false accusations that legal bills such as the VAWA accepts as truth even when evidence shows otherwise. Family court will rape men of everything he spent his life building and even his access to his children. And many women will falsely accuse him of abusing the children to make sure his honor and his soul is killed forever. So, it is not a problem of ownership. It is a problem of not being blind and stupid. Men want to stay clear of women. Especially knowing they have been tá through in their 20s by all semi criminals who only wanted to rearrange their insides. Now you want man to take up all the responsibility and the unacceptable risks of "owning" a woman? Again, you are delusional and providing a disservice telling women that. They will never have a man if they don't have a different mindset from the one you are feeding them.
This woman in the video is absolutely delusional. Men wish there was equality. Women's privileges are insane in today's society. They have the right to destroy a man's life at a mere will, using false accusations that legal bills such as the VAWA accepts as truth even when evidence shows otherwise. Family court will rape men of everything he spent his life building and even his access to his children. And many women will falsely accuse him of abusing the children to make sure his honor and his soul is killed forever. So, it is not a problem of ownership. It is a problem of not being blind and stupid. Men want to stay clear of women. Especially knowing they have been ran through in their 20s by all semi criminals who only wanted to rearrange their insides. Now you want man to take up all the responsibility and the unacceptable risks of "owning" a woman? Again, you are delusional and providing a disservice telling women that. They will never have a man if they don't have a different mindset from the one you are feeding them.
If he is marry to you? or marry to other? and in a relationship long without haven’t commit yet or with you or you just living together with no hold paper commitment enjoy while he is still there, cause probably you are in fantasy land Unfortunately.
I only found teal 7 months ago. It's so uncanny, almost every video is so relevant that I feel like she is talking directly to me...amazing she's been committed to this for 10+ years.....what an inspiration to me
Great! I came to this exact conclusion when I was badly broken hearted in my mid twenties. After that I decided to talk about my needs directly right in the beginning of a relationship. And the result was very surprising and good.
As a currently single 57 year old I would say you’re better off putting your energy into making your own security rather than putting it into finding a man to do it for you. Plus it changes the whole dynamic of your relationships for the better.
I will say that i hate that I was raised to be super independent. I was raised not to value marriage etc. Anyways now im in my 40s, married, financially independent and have an adult son. I have found that my hubby and every man i attract have all been poor or financially at lower level than me. Literally i have no idea how to attract a provider.
I'm a guy. I'd thank any woman who does that because I can't take on that burden for someone else, the pressure would crush me and I think I would also grow resentful. Relationships should be about feelings, how much we need and are drawn to each other on an emotional level. That whole concrete, materialist world is a burden and getting in the way of that. I think what I'm talking about is "agape". It keeps eluding me.
@annabanzon313 I'm always confused about the repetition that males are the providers...excuse me but females are rhe ultimate providers. We feed our babies from our bodies..and Look at the history of single mothers providing for their children.. many males step up..many don't. It should be the adults are providers
@@terrac6694just because you have your own doesn’t mean you need to go 50/50. I still expect a provider even if I have my own. A man who wants to go 50/50 isn’t a provider.
I come from a really violent household and was scared of men for most part of my life. First I wanted to hurt them back but eventually realised that that is not gonna get me closer to happiness. I worked through my hurt which took me years to fully understand and heal. After years of being alone I finally opened up to a man that I met and really liked but first keeping things friendly. I fell in love with him for his heart and his character. It’s still a struggle sometimes to learn to let go of control over my own safety, I was always one step out of the door. But now after 6 years I trust none on this earth like I trust him and I can observe myself slowly committing fully, which is so beautiful to see, the growth from being super avoidant to being able to let someone in so close. I want nothing but life’s best treats for this man, I love to be his partner and I am thankful for the lessons in trust and human connection our relationship has provided for me.
As a man that's looking for his other half, I want to provide security and protect. I watch Teal so I can learn in advance how to be the best husband and father I can be, to provide containment and safety.
That feels like a relief to hear. I know it sounds odd, coming from a woman, but if I put myself in the shoes of a man, I don't think I would be able to stand treating her poorly. Maybe that is just because I am a woman and I see it from my point of view, but so many men these days don't feel like they have any obligation to protect or provide for a woman in their life, and I feel like if the shoe was on the other foot (and while I protect myself and provide for myself as a woman of my own means) I cannot imagine being in a relationship with a woman and NOT wanting to do both of those things, like it was an honor to do it.
@@1984watchr Same goes for women. Most women these days don't feel any obligation to submit to their husbands. Naturally the urge to provide and protect is going to suffer as a consequence.
Men are not in a situation where giving their trust to a woman can be as physically vulnerable as women, yet they ask women to be physically vulnerable before they even want to make themselves slightly emotionally vulnerable. I feel like women give trust way too easily to men who don't even care about them. That's crazy. A woman should only give her trust when the man shows he genuinely cares about her and respects her, and simple lust bonding chemicals isn't enough to make a man moral.
If you are a vvomen you simply will never understand how women respond to emotional vulnerability in men. You can say all you want but you are speculating. I agree woman should be with who cares about them but that doesn't seem to entice many of them till their heart is destroyed and they throw the pieces at good men 15 years later when they don't even know how to be attracted to someone like that then he will have to pay the price. Messy game
The question is how do you distinguish between those that genuinely care about you from those that don't ? Teal also said that a men can change his behaviour once he gets what he wants etc
@@Tinna-no6rt That would be a series of important questions to be asked while dating. And you have to care more about what they seem to be saying than your own feeling of potential benefit from continued association.
@@DictatorDoPayou’re assuming their answers would be clear - men say whatever they think you want to hear. You won’t really find out the truth until you’re actually involved and see their actions…
the thing is: if your guy would be emotionally vulnerable, you would lose attraction and leave him for a badboy. you gals just dont know what you want, thats the problem
The way this is aligning with exactly what is changing in my inner world. Wake up ladies!! Most men cannot offer the security/happiness we are looking for. We're better off seeking that outside of a man. If one comes along that actually can offer you harmony, great! If not, no worries Edit- I just wanted to add, because this is important- my comment was not saying that men are incapable in any way. It wasn't a man-bashing comment. Even the best of men will not be able to satisfy every one of your wants and needs all the time. My comment was a call for women to take more responsibility and initiative in their own fulfillment.
2 things, not trying to be mean. A) most men want to protect and provide for their wife/gf/woman, and a large portion of us would, 'if we could' , make those we care about happy. Yes there are expectations for the woman in this scenario eg: kids, financial, emotional etc. 2) no one can keep safe or protect a party, that will not provide the authority to do so. Responsibility without the authority to meet that expectation is just asking for misery or failure. 3) you're responsible for your own happiness, not your spouse. If women don't want to be a new 'mommy' to their husband, why would you think a man wants an adult child for a spouse? Would love to hear your counterpoint, but not looking for an argument. Don't need to change your mind but it's always nice to get alternative views.
@derekhamel2991 no argument. I agree with each of your points. That's why I suggest women create their own happiness and satisfaction instead of expecting a man to do so for them.
@@derekhamel2991 absolutely well put sir! I was actually going to comment on the happiness piece myself. "Happiness" is an emotion that is mostly derived from an outside source, and often changes during time. Eating ice cream when I was a kid used to make me REALLY happy. Now at 50, I could take it or leave it. Joy in the other hand is what all of us really should be seeking, not happiness. And real joy comes from within, not from outside of us. And my experiences have been this. When I found my inner joy, I found much more that made me happy regularly. But I've never had it the other way around.
It’s not that it’s “broken “…..that presupposes that it was “perfect” at some point. Survival has always been the name of the game! Humans are like every other species who use whatever is available to them to survive and ensure the survival of their offspring. Perfection never existed.
Not for long. Ask them the right things, put up the right pressure. If you can't feel like you trust them, that's your fault, but it's ALSO their challenge. Are they alert to what's going on? Or are they ultimately about using you to take a vacation from their human experience?
@@jaymiller9724 while we must bring to light the bad people who hide under a disguise, it is equally important to stop writing off great men as losers just because it serves you. Women and men are equally responsible for great men NOT rising.
Just had this conversation with myself today! The answer I received: the safety I seek is internal not externalized through other beings...🦋 🎉 Congratulations on 2 Million Subscribers 🎉 It's right around the corner...You Go Girl...☺️
I would say what is difficult for women is to distinguish between sexual attention and relationship attention from men. They say it takes a village to raise a child perhaps it takes a village to protect women a good village that is.
Or fathers? Far easier than a whole community. But many women either don’t have or don’t listen to their fathers - who will likely know when a guy only has “one thing” in mind
I see your point but the same problem can happen even in stable relationships with men. That’s why teal made the point that just because a man “loves” you or is committed to you does not mean he will actually act in your best interests
Most people's approach to relationships is very selfish ("what can they do for me/what can they offer me''). Rarely does it have something to do with loving someone for who they are as a person and wanting the best for them. And when they find a new source of supply, they discard you coldheartedly.
For example, just think how many men would prefer to have their wives do housework for them in their limited free time instead of them spending their time learning something they enjoy for their development. Way too often relationships are arrangements that have nothing to do with love.
@@STeroidsnicca Self development. Learning attachment styles etc. Once we are happy and healthy with ourselves, we don't *need* to get something from someone else, except for stimulation, partnership, etc.
@@STeroidsnicca teach and give men and women their true natures back. As women we can help by not broadcasting ourselves as if “we don’t need a man,” we deeply need men. We have to acknowledge our needs and then let men know what they are. The next step is their job.
This is brilliant, Teal! It’s impossible to get away from the societal influence that pervades us as we develop from girls to women. I totally agree with you that it’s crazy for people to think that growing up in a non-group setting is healthy in any way. Having only two people watch out for you when you’re young is a recipe for disaster. It took me almost 7 decades to figure all this out. And I thank you for giving me something new to think about, which is, what am I afraid of and how can I meet my own safety needs, with or without a partner? I was similar to Juliet and jumped from relationship to relationship, trying to find someone who could “fix my problems“ and when I finally found someone who gave me unconditional love and true intimacy, I wasn’t capable of returning it in the way I had hoped. I did my best and I was there for him when he needed me, but the transactional exchange was unequal, and I took more than I gave, unintentionally. Thank you so much for your amazing insights. 💖🙏
One of the many ways women get secure housing is by living with a man. I've very deliberately chosen not to do this and to pursue co-ownership of a home with 3 other friends through an LLC. Were considering engineering and constructing a nontraditional home for ourselves as well. Creating infrastructure like this feels like a step towards the new world ❤️
@modickens1272 sure, but I would be paying them to build it. I was moreso referring to women who rely on men to pay for their housing, which has been insecure bc they can get kicked out at any time.
Living with other woman is no guarantee of trust or people who will look out for your needs. I.e. Lesbian relationships have higher levels of domestic abuse and breakups than Hetero ones.
The TIMING of this message is blowing my mind 🤯 THANK YOU - the truths you’ve provided were confronting AND empowering. You’ve articulated what I’ve been trying to understand about myself and the ‘safety’ I’ve been seeking (or at least seeking to understand) within my new romantic relationship. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 This perspective is life changing in such a positive (though not easy-breezy lol) direction. ❤
This is why I have up held so strongly to my values and self-respect. I look for friends and partners that are consistent with their values and belief systems. I've been open to negotiating timelines as well. Honour is honourable and feels good for some us. ❤
Much of this is cultured into us through the idea of romantic love. Many still believe that there is 'someone for everyone' meaning that someone who will save them from the loneliness and suffering of life, up to and including getting old. While this can potentially help ease our mutual suffering to a degree, the amount of wisdom and understanding it takes to choose the right person for this without any obligation to stay, is beyond most of us. Freedom in this regard, the ability to choose, can be a curse. It gives us enough rope to hang ourselves with, like giving a powerful tool to an ape who is incapable of understanding not only how to use it, but the complex implications that come with it. Trying to engineer and plan your entire life while you are living it, is as if you are about to strike a nail and you think to yourself, "is this the right place to put it?" It's thinking it out, in a situation where there really is no time to think it out. If life is a lesson then you learn when you're through, but it's not even a problem to be solved, it's an experience to be had.
The statistics reflect that the people most likely to hurt women are their own male family members: father, husband, boyfriend, son, brother. And we experience this growing up that men are the biggest source of threat to our well-being and happiness, it's no secret.
Can I get a source? While my father was no angel, my mother and my sister destroyed me psychologically more than anyone else. And I'm still in therapy years later about it.
@@paulv2348me too. I grew up in a single family home with only my sister, I get it. But the damage done by men in my life only made it all worse. Quite literally zero safety in my life. Again, probably comes back to men. My mom could’ve chilled if my dad did his job.
We're gonna need a source for this because I've seen studies that concluded that the safest situation for a woman statistically is in a monogamous marriage to a man.
I've never had a boy want to protect me. I have many examples where they, in relationship with me, threw me under the rug, allowed friends to treat me horribly, and didn't have my back. They are all betas.
That sucks. However many women have this experience, and this means you/they first of all chose this man, and then chose to stay for some period of time snd accept this bad behavior. I’m not excusing bad men for acting this way, however there is clearly a pattern of women choosing (subconsciously or consciously) men like this and then complaining about those same men. No one forced you to be with this man
I know why this is but it's deep knowledge and I don't know if I can go into it. And no I'm not trying to sound smart, but I'll just ask you one question. The key to this fact. If a woman is with a man, and it's not his money in this case cuz she complains that he's broke. It's not his mind cuz she complains that he doesn't even talk to her. It's not his personality cuz she calls him a hole. It's not his loyalty because he cheats. It's not his future goals cuz he Lacks ambition. What could be keeping the women there we ask? What's the one thing that they are NOT complaining about...... CLUE; they have this man's child.
Great subject. So true. Financial independence is one security, children are the other. Finding a great partner is syill a distant dream but at 53 feels like maybe I am better off without one.
@@ryanl1293 as a man watching this video of her explain this to her female audience .....im getting the realization that women in general dont like nor respect most men .....n more than likely cause a bigger divide.
I got into really bad situations as a teenager, and my father and i (even though married to my mom) didn't have much of a relationship. So unconciously i was desperate for a guy to protect me and i looked for that. So i was in a 9 and 11 year relationship with 2 men who weren't very compatible with me at all, but i just didn't want to be alone in this world. Trying to built more on my (female) friendships these days.
@@spiritofalaskaIt's not always the case. I know a woman that got married at 20 with a 10 years older man. The man got into a mid-life crisis at 46 and suggested to his 36 years old wife to get a divorce claiming that he got bored of the family life and its obligations prevented him to live the life he wanted, clubbing, meeting other women etc. Eventually, his wife agreed and then they got divorced. Now he's dating a 23 years old woman while his daughter is 14. I know an other case when a woman got married at 25 with a 41 years old man. When she was 36, her 52 years old husband left her for a 25 years old woman. Or another case when a man who cheated on his first wife in her early 30's when he was 39 or 40 with a 19 years old girl. When that 19 years old girl were în her late 30's, she was also left by the same man for a 28 years old woman. I know many more cases. I mean a woman can get married before 30 or before 25 but it's not 100% guaranteed that she won't be the starter wife for a man. Just time can prove it or not!
@@spiritofalaskaIt's not always the case. I know a woman that got married at 20 with a 10 years older man. The man got into a mid-life crisis at 46 and suggested to his 36 years old wife to get a divorce claiming that he got bored of the family life and its obligations prevented him to live the life he wanted, clubbing, meeting other women etc. Eventually, his wife agreed and then they got divorced. Now he's dating a 23 years old woman while his daughter is 14. I know an other case when a woman got married at 25 with a 41 years old man. When she was 36, her 52 years old husband left her for a 25 years old woman. Or another case when a man who cheated on his first wife in her early 30's when he was 39 or 40 with a 19 years old girl. When that 19 years old girl were în her late 30's, she was also left by the same man for a 28 years old woman. I know many more cases. I mean a woman can get married before 30 or before 25 but it's not 100% guaranteed that she won't be the starter wife for a man. Just time can prove it or not! P. S: RUclips, please, I ask you from the bottom of my heart to stop deleting my comments. Thank you!
Act in her best interest and take responsibility for her wellbeing…I’ve seen fathers, brothers, uncles, teachers, boyfriends, coaches, ministers and husbands not do that so it was never a good idea to assume they would or even continue if they ever did.
Thank you so much for braking this down! It has taken me a long time to come to the understanding that my choice in a relationship was really about how secure and safe the man made me. As well as my part in the manipulation of making sure that, that need was met. I really appreciate the Self inquiry questions that you offer. They are always so helpful.🙏🏻❤️
As a widower at 57 whose wife battled breast cancer over years, I believe it is judicious to seek that security on your own first as a woman, but that ideal of a loving partner providing complete security for you, is attainable. It creates a relationship dynamic that is transcendental in the experienced love. Absolute positive ownership, absolute trust, absolute dependency, absolute appreciation (both ways!). When your heart bursts with love looking into the eyes of your wife 35 years on, you know both of you have done right.
I think most Men naturally have protective instincts towards women. Teal is normally a positive advocate for both Men and women, but she’s seems a bit off the Mark here and I think being overly self serving on behalf of woman kind in her rhetoric in this video.
I literally just had this exact epiphany a few days ago. Mourned and grieved my old self as I walk into a more empowered me. Thank you for this validation ❤
I would rather live in a cabin together with my guard dogs with no man on my side and protect my dogs from burglars on my own. For that it's good to be guarded through cameras, Internet and self defense modalities. That's why we need our original constitutional rights restored.
Thanks Teal!! Your video touches on my experience being a housewife and going through a nasty separation after 12 years. It’s so tough to face the reality of survival of the fittest for me. I’ve compromised so much in my relationships. I do accept the reality and choose daily to gain self sufficiency.
There may be truth to a lot of this. AND it makes sense why men also feel so undervalued and unappreciated. This has helped me to see why my work is to give this support to men and as we try to navigate relationships going forward, make sure women can own their part too and not be in a blame or victim stance. Thank you for helping me see this.
Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.
Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.
I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤
Also even if you have a man who caretakes your emotional and physical safety, he is most likely to die before you. Hence why friends and community is so important too. Love this video. Thanks Teal for the thought provoking questions at the end 🙏💕
The "so that" motivation is the reason so many women keep men on their toes constantly chasing the carrot, with little tidbits of reinforcement, so that the man will continue investing in her. It is really sad. I have never done this which is why I have not been very successful in relationships. I don't care what people are saying about you because your advice is solid gold!
5:30 This is why I NEVER let my young daughter watch fairytales. I even made a video short about it, highlighting how it falsely teaches girls that a man has your best interest just because he finds you beautiful and other dangerous things.
@@smferreiro2610 You're just sorry that you have one less potential victim. Only a creep would have a problem with a child being protected. Have a nice day!😄
Isn't this attitude a bit controlling.? Your daughter lives in a world of fairy tales.. How long until she starts watching them for herself.? Surely watch them with her whilst breaking down the false narratives together..
@@ancienthamatendiscipline3533 My daughter is seven and I'm setting boundaries as a parent. She can break down all the fairytales she wants when she's an older kid/teen, past the deep brainwashing stage. If that's "controlling"... Oh, well! Better than being controlled by a man who will use those fantasies against her when she's a woman.
I agree with you. Saddly I don't have link to great RUclips channel who represented from where fairytale came from. You would be soo suprised! They didn't come from Disney Always read stories with children but THEN TALK ABT IT!
Please consider the distortion modernity has brought to women's mindset. Still to this day most women in countries like Africa, Indonesia or Philippines consider children a blessing and their actual future security. They invest in their children and the children invest back in their parents. This is how normal society has functioned for forever.
women in those countries do not have much of a say as to what they want. You are assuming that if they had a choice, they would choose what they get now.
Yeah, and they can also be more feminine... actually bringing joy and happiness, commitment, inspiration to a man. There is a video of a woman who dressed up and impersonated a man for 2 years (lasted 1.8 months) and realized how HARD it is to be a man. And as a woman even started to DESPIZE other women. But hey... it's all men's fault, right? Or how about women choosing "cool" and "awesome" guys... instead of men who are fun, but also secure and stable, respectful and also a bit shy? And unless you "entertain them with smooth talk"... they will move on to a guy who will do that and then later COMPLAIN that this "smooth-talking player boy" doesn't want to commit to them... 😂 Hey... I like the video! And will gladly bring security to women in my life, and I see men around me doing that too. But honestly Teal's rhetoric (as much as I love her content) about how "bad men are" and never addressing what women are doing WRONG in their connection to them.... honestly is starting to piss me off. 😅
When the need for security is pursued to its limit, it undermines the need for loyalty in the man. When the need for loyalty is pursued to the limit, it undermines the need for security in the women. Seeking group security (from other men)by the women is just as much of a violation toward men as controlling isolation by men is a violation toward women. Both ultimately deprive either loyalty or security respectively.
Thank you. I have personally experienced this. (Extremely difficult and painful). Now that I “see”, my awareness is firing and I am on the other side of this. ❤
This has been creeping up in my mind and life (and marriage) so much lately. This helps clarify what I’ve been noticing and feeling. When you mentioned “this is manipulation,” I was like, yes! It’s just true. I have been wanting to figure out what transactional exchange I want to go for. Not to mention…getting him to see this too, and knowing what his true needs are as well. And wondering if it could still work. I thought having an “outside the box” marriage was the only way we could move forward. But thank you for helping me see that this is actually the way of relationship going into the future. More consciousness. Oye!! So much to release!!!
Speaking of the point about disney princesses not being helped altruistically, they are helped by the forest animals, which to me represent the friends around you girls and the men that you manage to get in good graces with even when its clear there are not romantic intentions available. It happens.
Yeah I don’t like that one because like all the original tales the girls are helped by people or animals they helped despite their extremely limited or shitty situation. Which is truth in life. At least Disney kept that.
I do think it used to be provided by family and friends. It's just family dynamics are all screwed up right now. I grew up in an environment where grandma and aunts where heavily involved in child rearing. And the men were teaching men stuff. Ya know fishing killing animals for food cooking them. Now the dynamics are way off. Family members usually split apart. They have children at vastly different times too. I grew up with like 10+ cousins or friends to hang out with at all times. So a group dynamic is really just a fix for what used to be a family dynamic in my opinion. Society kind of splits families apart due to the amount of flaws that have accumulated in the system due to many external pressures. Like society or organized religion which tend to shape a person's ideals and morals. That and can't romanticize the past either which means we can as individuals choose to fix and improve upon all previous systems. Day cares outsource what use to be a village type thing.
That’s why women need to learn how to protect and care for themselves! And a lot of times men ruin that by being too reactive and I’ve never understood why.
Maybe these men unconsciously do not want their partners to feel safe. We could think critically and deeply about why that might be, like maybe these men were conditioned in such a way that they believe(again, unconsciously) that they are very bad, and that they don’t deserve a partner. So they behave in ways that would serve to drive women who are relatively emotionally healthy away(thereby saving these women from them). The women who stay with them are already very damaged, so it’s not a big deal, in the unconscious minds of these men, to have relationships with them. In short, antisocial tendencies and behaviors are unconsciously intended by men to drive healthy women away, towards men who are much less traumatized and even towards other women. Just a thought
@@katieandnick4113I'm a man and I think its mostly weakness or projection why a man would fall short of making his woman feel safe. Weakness as in reactive, low resilience, cowardly etc. Projection as in that the man assumes that women are like himself. He assumes that they feel more secure than that they truly do. Thus they underestimate how much of a sense of security they need to provide to her. Projection and weakness are both caused by psychological repression. So a man that is badly individuated and thus doesn't know himself.
The problem is that the approach of the independent babe doesn't work either. These women have either no relationships or very unsatisfying ones. Because if a woman doesn't need her man then she won't respect or love him. Women generally crave men that are better than them when it comes to things like confidence, status, job and income. The only thing I'm convinced that works is if a woman picks a man that is so formidable that he can provide everything she needs including security. But this is easier said than done because if the woman is not psychologically mature enough she will just repel such men. Teal has videos on this.
Women in relationships with women have the highest divorce rate in the world, and are very physically and mentally abusive. In theory, it should be the opposite because then you have a person just like you to match all your needs. That can read you.
Everything she's said was just fear based, leading to more fear. And, more manipulation. And then when actively deploying the manipulation you cannot love, thus none of it is real. And you lose anyway.
Living in a modern day commune sharing partnrs doesn't make sane women feel secure, safe, or healthy. At best, it's a sure way for jealousy drama and STDs.
Letting go of someone you love so they can be happier equals love. Doing it is another whole thing. I do knows this though I truly cared for my ex wife. Sadly I did not learn how to share my feelings and talk about them till long after she was gone. My ex wife was absolutely gorgeous, but what made her truly awesome was what was inside. All she wanted was for me to help that's all, do my part, talk to her, respect her, be honest And faithful. Sadly, I was unable to do any of those things. At that time in my life I was on the end stretch of a 30 something year hard-core drug habit. She really never even got to know the real me. Heck I am still figuring that out myself.
@@jmac8834 , The only thing left to do is pick up the pieces and carry on. I need to work on me now. That is the kinda person my ex wife was , that's what she would have wanted. That is what made her so great. She was the type to hold you accountable, but she would want to see you succeed in life. She was not a hateful person. She was humble, loving and compassionate. I just need to look forward now and not backwards in the past.
I miss these little lessons. this is a good one; I live for energy exchange & never see that i’m “wrong” bc I live by it due to history with money & trade. I ain’t playing with my Time :)
@ghironsingh I don't understand what you are saying.( English is not my native language). I have learnt, better says the life learnt me to enjoy every moment living how and what I am. I don't need any acceptance from anyone to do it. 🙏❤️
Strange that women are shocked that help or protection is not altruistic when they themselves will, even if they are married, check out of a relationship mentally while misleading and mooching resources from one man while searching for the next man that can give them more. Before you say not all woman do this. Yes, nothing is 100% but all women KNOW they can and the world will just say “you go, girl.”
They want men to be their producto-security bots to do all their yucky biddings and cry foul if their is any expectation of value exchange. "The big bad wolves aren't pampering me out of the kindness of their hearts!?" They want us to be more moral than they are to farm us of our merits. That's why I reject all the attempts to morph me into their shamed redeemers.
@@courtneyharris1006interesting amount of projection going on here It is men that leave for younger models. And overwhelmingly leave their sick wives, even after 40 years.
Women are nothing if extremely proficient at being hypocrites. Idk why YT recommended me this video but this woman is so jaded, I guess that explains the lack of a ring on it. If men weren't altruistic we would have never given women the right to vote, among all the other rights that have been afforded to them.
my answer to real security is to integrate al the parts of yourself that you have been rejecting as a result of trauma's. the only threat i see in other people is the disattachment from themselves and not willing to do something about it. and project it to any other person to give a short term feeling of false safety. not willing to tane ewsponsibility for it. that's where divorces are coming from. you don't do my inner work for me!
Exactly. Men should feel extremely unsafe in the world as well if you look at statistics of violence. But they don't. This is by far a lack of inner work, and if that's not enough at scale to make civilization work then we will need to go back to old roles because they're obviously correct about male and female nature.
This is a train wreck of a video in terms of its hodgepodge borrowing and mangling of well established and understood psychological concepts ( codependency , love addiction ) and fusing them with the woke version of women’s lib and then completely stripping them of their evolutionary contexts. I do love though how most of the comments are infinitely more wise than the video
Agreed! I love the way you presented this relationship dynamic. I have so many thoughts, see so many paths when it comes to this topic. Ownership is a spectrum.
see what she did ? it is true that women could"t get credit cards. but she did"t say women could"t charge stuff,they just did"t have to pay for it their husbands did. dose it still sound like women where victims? so she got to buy dresses and food or what ever and charge it to her husband's account . boy did miss brandy from the brady brunch have it bad?
Men will naturally go over, above, and beyond for a woman if trust is present. In these times where being loyal to someone is frowned upon society is about self gratification under the guise of freedom. Where theres trust there will be safety.
False! Ive been loyal for 20 years....hes been cheating the entire time. Im still home raising the kids alone bc my family always comes first, idc. He doesn't even know us anymore bc hes too busy being a 45 year old bachelor. I couldn't be any more trustworthy, and we couldn't be any less safe.
That whole part about loyalty is 100% true. Today's society seems to ridicule loyalty as a form of subservience and naivete, then cries out that nobody has their back and everyone is completely selfish. 🤣
Fwiw, we're in east TN rn, living in between 3 peds. We have all girls. He took the g.u.n. and went to miami for the winter, after finding out our door lock(and washer and kitchen lights)broke and was like oh, sucks for yall💁♀️
@@LostNFound432 women likes guys other women likes. Did you like him in the beginning because you liked competing for attention with trashy women. Your a lady so likely hood of you telling the truth if it makes you look bad is low. If all this is true you changed and he didn't which means you didn't care who you started a family with you just wanted some clout and D. You might be better now but you weren't better then and it you karma. Will you lie to young women because misery loves companie or will you tell the truth so young ladies can do better?
Interesting. Falling into this super common assumed energy exchange women can do by agreeing to a sexual relationship with a man in return for safety is something I have known about since I was 12yrs old. I am so super grateful she has placed it all so eloquently into words so everyone else can finally get the picture.
It's unfortunate to say this, but reality is is really savage. Even when you want to help and protect every woman in the world, it's not possible because a man has a limited amount of time, energy, and money... And women generally require a lot of work. You can't save everybody. Just like I wouldn't expect a woman to wait around for me to get myself together while her time is running out to have a family and children... That would be selfish of me to make her wait when she can find somebody else to give her what she needs. She only has a limited amount of time to have children or fulfill whatever other dreams she might have.
Objectively women of the west have never been safer or more empowered. If you look at the data on physical violence from other men, men should also feel extremely unsafe. But, it doesn't even arrive on their radar, even though lots of other men could destroy us. No, this is an internal battle in the woman as proven by cross sex violence data. They need to win this battle against their own emotions inside then they will have peace., as men have despite the possibility of being killed by other men. Emotions are not always based in reality, and the data on men being calm yet also facing the possibility of violence proves it.
Learned this lesson many moons ago: Just cause someone loves you or is in love with you doesn't mean they are looking out for your best interest. (This also includes familial relationships.)
💯💯💯💯💯
Great point ✅
My wife looks out for herself first, herchildren second, her boss third......
and reminds me that I don't live up to her fantasy.
Into our 47th year, now. 😅
Love---- that is my wealth.
Indeed
Ain't that the truth
This is why I have always wanted financial independence. I’m not like a high power career woman trying to get on the Forbes 500, but I don’t want to ever feel like my safety and security is located outside of myself.
I also knew and early kn realized about this “false security “
It always is outside yourself.
I hear ya. Chronic health issues and no security is hell
Not really it depends on the situation I don't have security like that and I'm still alive after all that happened to me women with trauma don't necessarily just give up and hide in a room that's what these people don't understand women all react differently to trauma after awhile we don't even see being alone the way other people do women process being alone as a reward it won't hurt us like an ordinary woman because they already damaged us so there's nothing left they can sabatoge but themselves. If they know this hurts women maybe they should stop doing it and if they're just looking for fun say it and stop pretending they want a deeper connection. Toying with someone's inner emotions like that just to get in there pants is totally different then just hooking up to have a good time if that's his only goal is to feel like he won then stay single do women a favor and don't corrupt anymore of us the way they did with my generation.
Ive had women tell me this and then argue that I shouldnt be allowed to own a firearm because they are dangerous and I should just call the cops in the case of something happening.
I am going to be absolutely honest - I felt most insecure, unhappy, unsafe and anxious while being in relationships with people who claimed they loved me. I left drained of my vitality, emotional well being, broken in a way. The highest currency we have is our precious energy - be very careful who you are giving it to. I have been single now for 4 years, the growth as a person I experienced is more than in my entire life. I am working for my money, my career, my financial independency. I don`t think all men are bad and only takers but I for sure learned that some people are only with you when it suits them.
❤❤❤❤❤
Good for you. I completely agree with this.
Very true. Most men are very bad and untrustworthy. Romantic love is very flawed. You are doing the wise thing by building your own independence and practical foundation.
hugs to you sister
@@EgleA-u8e preach
As a man i love hearing about women's perspectives, Teals videos are so illuminating. I hope women can be liberated from all forms of physical and mental chains
Me too
but what so many us middle aged folks have seen is exactly that, and all the while especially during this past decade or 15 years-ish when big parts of society were gaining knowledge about this, the old trends continued and compounded. I'm about to tell a woman friend that i've been profoundly discouraged by witnessing her remaining in an internally dysfunctional reality so she could attain what she thought was the right balance of success and financial security. I've postoned writing such a letter for 4 years, it's that difficult.
@@18_rabbit I think the problem is that after things are questioned people go back to obeying the institutions and social norms that caused the problems in the first place.
So in other words a man will protect his access to poonyeeti?
@LanceKeller-b5v what are you talking about? And what does that have to do with my comment?
"Manipulation is all about not feeling like you can go for your needs directly." Huge insight. Thanks!
This is what it feels like sometimes at work with your boss or coworkers (as well)
I appreciate and respect my husband. He is a real man. He protects and provides for me and our children. Coming from a home where I was abused and abandoned by my father, and then my brothers…this means a lot to me. I did have to do things on my own and build a hedge of protection for myself. As a woman we are responsible for our own inner strength and growth, but I appreciate my spouse for providing and protecting so that I can do the same for our children. The healthier our families are the better off our society becomes.
"He is a real man. He protects and provides for me and our children."
Okay, so a man is a real man if he protects and provides. Then what's the thing a woman needs to do, in order to qualify as a real woman?
This woman in the video is absolutely delusional. Men wish there was equality. Women's privileges are insane in today's society. They have the right to destroy a man's life at a mere will, using false accusations that legal bills such as the VAWA accepts as truth even when evidence shows otherwise. Family court will rape men of everything he spent his life building and even his access to his children. And many women will falsely accuse him of abusing the children to make sure his honor and his soul is killed forever.
So, it is not a problem of ownership. It is a problem of not being blind and stupid. Men want to stay clear of women.
Especially knowing they have been tá through in their 20s by all semi criminals who only wanted to rearrange their insides.
Now you want man to take up all the responsibility and the unacceptable risks of "owning" a woman?
Again, you are delusional and providing a disservice telling women that. They will never have a man if they don't have a different mindset from the one you are feeding them.
This woman in the video is absolutely delusional. Men wish there was equality. Women's privileges are insane in today's society. They have the right to destroy a man's life at a mere will, using false accusations that legal bills such as the VAWA accepts as truth even when evidence shows otherwise. Family court will rape men of everything he spent his life building and even his access to his children. And many women will falsely accuse him of abusing the children to make sure his honor and his soul is killed forever.
So, it is not a problem of ownership. It is a problem of not being blind and stupid. Men want to stay clear of women.
Especially knowing they have been ran through in their 20s by all semi criminals who only wanted to rearrange their insides.
Now you want man to take up all the responsibility and the unacceptable risks of "owning" a woman?
Again, you are delusional and providing a disservice telling women that. They will never have a man if they don't have a different mindset from the one you are feeding them.
Im so happy to be in a relationship with a man who makes me feel safe, the most healing connection I've ever experienced!
Is he married to you? Is he having sex with you outside of marriage?
If he is marry to you? or marry to other? and in a relationship long without haven’t commit yet or with you or you just living together with no hold paper commitment enjoy while he is still there, cause probably you are in fantasy land Unfortunately.
@@alera520do you really believe that a piece of paper will keep someone next to you?
@@bellejour559 Oh, so you think lowering standards is the solution?
Feeling triggered by a positive comment - your shadow work is cut out for you :)
I only found teal 7 months ago. It's so uncanny, almost every video is so relevant that I feel like she is talking directly to me...amazing she's been committed to this for 10+ years.....what an inspiration to me
Yeah she's pretty cool and smart
She is An incredible truth and resource for many of us especially at this time in the world ❤❤❤
She's the best!! 💛💛💛💛💛
So inspiring!!
This was me in 2022, isn’t it amazing? By 2027 you’ll be listening and nodding along because you already know
@@thunder.ceases Do you know about mushroom robots ???? And fungal technology????
Great! I came to this exact conclusion when I was badly broken hearted in my mid twenties. After that I decided to talk about my needs directly right in the beginning of a relationship. And the result was very surprising and good.
Happy for you!!
As a currently single 57 year old I would say you’re better off putting your energy into making your own security rather than putting it into finding a man to do it for you. Plus it changes the whole dynamic of your relationships for the better.
Does it? I know plenty of unappreciated woman in 50/50 relationships.
I will say that i hate that I was raised to be super independent. I was raised not to value marriage etc. Anyways now im in my 40s, married, financially independent and have an adult son. I have found that my hubby and every man i attract have all been poor or financially at lower level than me. Literally i have no idea how to attract a provider.
I'm a guy. I'd thank any woman who does that because I can't take on that burden for someone else, the pressure would crush me and I think I would also grow resentful. Relationships should be about feelings, how much we need and are drawn to each other on an emotional level. That whole concrete, materialist world is a burden and getting in the way of that. I think what I'm talking about is "agape". It keeps eluding me.
@annabanzon313 I'm always confused about the repetition that males are the providers...excuse me but females are rhe ultimate providers. We feed our babies from our bodies..and Look at the history of single mothers providing for their children.. many males step up..many don't. It should be the adults are providers
@@terrac6694just because you have your own doesn’t mean you need to go 50/50. I still expect a provider even if I have my own. A man who wants to go 50/50 isn’t a provider.
I come from a really violent household and was scared of men for most part of my life. First I wanted to hurt them back but eventually realised that that is not gonna get me closer to happiness. I worked through my hurt which took me years to fully understand and heal. After years of being alone I finally opened up to a man that I met and really liked but first keeping things friendly. I fell in love with him for his heart and his character. It’s still a struggle sometimes to learn to let go of control over my own safety, I was always one step out of the door. But now after 6 years I trust none on this earth like I trust him and I can observe myself slowly committing fully, which is so beautiful to see, the growth from being super avoidant to being able to let someone in so close. I want nothing but life’s best treats for this man, I love to be his partner and I am thankful for the lessons in trust and human connection our relationship has provided for me.
I love this. Healing is so hard after trauma. Amazing job. God bless you.
Made me very happy to hear this - what a beautiful journey in healing and opening
Awesome, I'm glad you finally get to relax in this life time.
As a man that's looking for his other half, I want to provide security and protect. I watch Teal so I can learn in advance how to be the best husband and father I can be, to provide containment and safety.
That feels like a relief to hear. I know it sounds odd, coming from a woman, but if I put myself in the shoes of a man, I don't think I would be able to stand treating her poorly. Maybe that is just because I am a woman and I see it from my point of view, but so many men these days don't feel like they have any obligation to protect or provide for a woman in their life, and I feel like if the shoe was on the other foot (and while I protect myself and provide for myself as a woman of my own means) I cannot imagine being in a relationship with a woman and NOT wanting to do both of those things, like it was an honor to do it.
Okey-doke, sounds great; just remember "provide security" and "protect" do not mean "control." In any way, shape, or form. Ever.
💛💛 💛
@@1984watchr Same goes for women. Most women these days don't feel any obligation to submit to their husbands. Naturally the urge to provide and protect is going to suffer as a consequence.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart - thank you
Men are not in a situation where giving their trust to a woman can be as physically vulnerable as women, yet they ask women to be physically vulnerable before they even want to make themselves slightly emotionally vulnerable. I feel like women give trust way too easily to men who don't even care about them. That's crazy. A woman should only give her trust when the man shows he genuinely cares about her and respects her, and simple lust bonding chemicals isn't enough to make a man moral.
If you are a vvomen you simply will never understand how women respond to emotional vulnerability in men. You can say all you want but you are speculating. I agree woman should be with who cares about them but that doesn't seem to entice many of them till their heart is destroyed and they throw the pieces at good men 15 years later when they don't even know how to be attracted to someone like that then he will have to pay the price. Messy game
The question is how do you distinguish between those that genuinely care about you from those that don't ? Teal also said that a men can change his behaviour once he gets what he wants etc
@@Tinna-no6rt That would be a series of important questions to be asked while dating. And you have to care more about what they seem to be saying than your own feeling of potential benefit from continued association.
@@DictatorDoPayou’re assuming their answers would be clear - men say whatever they think you want to hear. You won’t really find out the truth until you’re actually involved and see their actions…
the thing is: if your guy would be emotionally vulnerable, you would lose attraction and leave him for a badboy. you gals just dont know what you want, thats the problem
The way this is aligning with exactly what is changing in my inner world. Wake up ladies!! Most men cannot offer the security/happiness we are looking for. We're better off seeking that outside of a man. If one comes along that actually can offer you harmony, great! If not, no worries
Edit- I just wanted to add, because this is important- my comment was not saying that men are incapable in any way. It wasn't a man-bashing comment. Even the best of men will not be able to satisfy every one of your wants and needs all the time. My comment was a call for women to take more responsibility and initiative in their own fulfillment.
2 things, not trying to be mean.
A) most men want to protect and provide for their wife/gf/woman, and a large portion of us would, 'if we could' , make those we care about happy. Yes there are expectations for the woman in this scenario eg: kids, financial, emotional etc.
2) no one can keep safe or protect a party, that will not provide the authority to do so. Responsibility without the authority to meet that expectation is just asking for misery or failure.
3) you're responsible for your own happiness, not your spouse. If women don't want to be a new 'mommy' to their husband, why would you think a man wants an adult child for a spouse?
Would love to hear your counterpoint, but not looking for an argument. Don't need to change your mind but it's always nice to get alternative views.
@derekhamel2991 no argument. I agree with each of your points. That's why I suggest women create their own happiness and satisfaction instead of expecting a man to do so for them.
@@derekhamel2991 absolutely well put sir!
I was actually going to comment on the happiness piece myself. "Happiness" is an emotion that is mostly derived from an outside source, and often changes during time. Eating ice cream when I was a kid used to make me REALLY happy. Now at 50, I could take it or leave it.
Joy in the other hand is what all of us really should be seeking, not happiness. And real joy comes from within, not from outside of us.
And my experiences have been this. When I found my inner joy, I found much more that made me happy regularly. But I've never had it the other way around.
@@derekhamel2991amen!
@derekhamel2991 I agree with most of what you said but men often time want their women to take care of them like they are an adult child.
Humanity is so broken the people in it are always using one another as objects of something.
It’s not that it’s “broken “…..that presupposes that it was “perfect” at some point. Survival has always been the name of the game! Humans are like every other species who use whatever is available to them to survive and ensure the survival of their offspring. Perfection never existed.
No only some of us and they win the most.
Not for long. Ask them the right things, put up the right pressure. If you can't feel like you trust them, that's your fault, but it's ALSO their challenge. Are they alert to what's going on? Or are they ultimately about using you to take a vacation from their human experience?
Enter: OF😮😂😂
@@jaymiller9724 while we must bring to light the bad people who hide under a disguise, it is equally important to stop writing off great men as losers just because it serves you.
Women and men are equally responsible for great men NOT rising.
This is so enlightening. Difference between “IN love” and “TO love”…just blew my mind.
Just had this conversation with myself today! The answer I received: the safety I seek is internal not externalized through other beings...🦋
🎉 Congratulations on 2 Million Subscribers 🎉 It's right around the corner...You Go Girl...☺️
I would say what is difficult for women is to distinguish between sexual attention and relationship attention from men. They say it takes a village to raise a child perhaps it takes a village to protect women a good village that is.
The problem with female independence is that men no longer have the authority to guide and protect them.
Or fathers? Far easier than a whole community. But many women either don’t have or don’t listen to their fathers - who will likely know when a guy only has “one thing” in mind
@gm9460 I agree upbringing plays major role and shaping of our lives.
This 💯
I see your point but the same problem can happen even in stable relationships with men. That’s why teal made the point that just because a man “loves” you or is committed to you does not mean he will actually act in your best interests
Most people's approach to relationships is very selfish ("what can they do for me/what can they offer me''). Rarely does it have something to do with loving someone for who they are as a person and wanting the best for them. And when they find a new source of supply, they discard you coldheartedly.
For example, just think how many men would prefer to have their wives do housework for them in their limited free time instead of them spending their time learning something they enjoy for their development. Way too often relationships are arrangements that have nothing to do with love.
And how can we fix that?
@@STeroidsnicca Self development. Learning attachment styles etc. Once we are happy and healthy with ourselves, we don't *need* to get something from someone else, except for stimulation, partnership, etc.
@@STeroidsniccamen can learn empathy and doing things for others bc it’s right and not because they’ll get a cookie or win or something 😂
@@STeroidsnicca teach and give men and women their true natures back. As women we can help by not broadcasting ourselves as if “we don’t need a man,” we deeply need men. We have to acknowledge our needs and then let men know what they are. The next step is their job.
My whole life I have been chasing the feeling of being cared for and protected and I "fell in love" with the prospect of that in all of my partners. 😮
This is brilliant, Teal! It’s impossible to get away from the societal influence that pervades us as we develop from girls to women. I totally agree with you that it’s crazy for people to think that growing up in a non-group setting is healthy in any way. Having only two people watch out for you when you’re young is a recipe for disaster. It took me almost 7 decades to figure all this out. And I thank you for giving me something new to think about, which is, what am I afraid of and how can I meet my own safety needs, with or without a partner? I was similar to Juliet and jumped from relationship to relationship, trying to find someone who could “fix my problems“ and when I finally found someone who gave me unconditional love and true intimacy, I wasn’t capable of returning it in the way I had hoped. I did my best and I was there for him when he needed me, but the transactional exchange was unequal, and I took more than I gave, unintentionally. Thank you so much for your amazing insights. 💖🙏
One of the many ways women get secure housing is by living with a man. I've very deliberately chosen not to do this and to pursue co-ownership of a home with 3 other friends through an LLC. Were considering engineering and constructing a nontraditional home for ourselves as well. Creating infrastructure like this feels like a step towards the new world ❤️
Men built that house. You will never not have housing without a man, directly or indirectly.
@modickens1272 sure, but I would be paying them to build it. I was moreso referring to women who rely on men to pay for their housing, which has been insecure bc they can get kicked out at any time.
@somasafya2058 fair point. Yes its always better to at least have ones own money, otherwise you're at the mercy of the moods of others.
Living with other woman is no guarantee of trust or people who will look out for your needs. I.e. Lesbian relationships have higher levels of domestic abuse and breakups than Hetero ones.
Many women learn this as little girls if their father was not their protector.
The TIMING of this message is blowing my mind 🤯 THANK YOU - the truths you’ve provided were confronting AND empowering. You’ve articulated what I’ve been trying to understand about myself and the ‘safety’ I’ve been seeking (or at least seeking to understand) within my new romantic relationship. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 This perspective is life changing in such a positive (though not easy-breezy lol) direction. ❤
This vid should’ve been done 10yrs ago. Better late than never. This vid is everything.
20
💯
About time someone speak the truth an take them blind folds off love is blind 💯
You like Scorpions.
Learning what people can do to others has kept me self motivated to look after my future ..so glad I have drive ❤ it brings real joy and safety
I’ve been a stay at home mom my entire life. I can see why things have been the way they were in our relationship. Crazy.
This is why I have up held so strongly to my values and self-respect. I look for friends and partners that are consistent with their values and belief systems. I've been open to negotiating timelines as well. Honour is honourable and feels good for some us. ❤
This video is PHENOMENAL 🎉
Way to go Teal.
It reflects the paradigm so many women are experiencing
Much of this is cultured into us through the idea of romantic love. Many still believe that there is 'someone for everyone' meaning that someone who will save them from the loneliness and suffering of life, up to and including getting old. While this can potentially help ease our mutual suffering to a degree, the amount of wisdom and understanding it takes to choose the right person for this without any obligation to stay, is beyond most of us. Freedom in this regard, the ability to choose, can be a curse. It gives us enough rope to hang ourselves with, like giving a powerful tool to an ape who is incapable of understanding not only how to use it, but the complex implications that come with it. Trying to engineer and plan your entire life while you are living it, is as if you are about to strike a nail and you think to yourself, "is this the right place to put it?" It's thinking it out, in a situation where there really is no time to think it out. If life is a lesson then you learn when you're through, but it's not even a problem to be solved, it's an experience to be had.
This couldn’t have come at a better time. You’re my angel Teal, Thankyou so much.❤
The statistics reflect that the people most likely to hurt women are their own male family members: father, husband, boyfriend, son, brother. And we experience this growing up that men are the biggest source of threat to our well-being and happiness, it's no secret.
Can I get a source?
While my father was no angel, my mother and my sister destroyed me psychologically more than anyone else. And I'm still in therapy years later about it.
@@paulv2348me too. I grew up in a single family home with only my sister, I get it. But the damage done by men in my life only made it all worse. Quite literally zero safety in my life.
Again, probably comes back to men. My mom could’ve chilled if my dad did his job.
We're gonna need a source for this because I've seen studies that concluded that the safest situation for a woman statistically is in a monogamous marriage to a man.
@@randygomez9595 @paulv2348
It's not letting me post the link but Google "Female victims of violence--Bureau of Justice Statistics"
@@paulv2348 there are also other statistics worth noting such as domestic violence committed by men increased during football season
I've never had a boy want to protect me. I have many examples where they, in relationship with me, threw me under the rug, allowed friends to treat me horribly, and didn't have my back. They are all betas.
That sucks. However many women have this experience, and this means you/they first of all chose this man, and then chose to stay for some period of time snd accept this bad behavior.
I’m not excusing bad men for acting this way, however there is clearly a pattern of women choosing (subconsciously or consciously) men like this and then complaining about those same men. No one forced you to be with this man
I know why this is but it's deep knowledge and I don't know if I can go into it. And no I'm not trying to sound smart, but I'll just ask you one question. The key to this fact.
If a woman is with a man, and it's not his money in this case cuz she complains that he's broke. It's not his mind cuz she complains that he doesn't even talk to her. It's not his personality cuz she calls him a hole. It's not his loyalty because he cheats. It's not his future goals cuz he Lacks ambition.
What could be keeping the women there we ask? What's the one thing that they are NOT complaining about......
CLUE; they have this man's child.
@chrisrikuudo I've been smart enough not to have children with these boys.
Same sadly
Well they are the one’s you chose
i used to have this belief, thank god i could identify it and change it, i realized ive beeb happiest while single so there this..
Same
I've identified it; doesn't stop me from wanting it😢
Great subject. So true. Financial independence is one security, children are the other. Finding a great partner is syill a distant dream but at 53 feels like maybe I am better off without one.
Women want collectivism, men want individualism. Got it.
And that is why men are bad leaders
meaning ...marriage between man n woman was a waste of human time ?
@@bkthedefbeatzNo, it worked forever were just doing it wrong now.
@@ryanl1293 as a man watching this video of her explain this to her female audience .....im getting the realization that women in general dont like nor respect most men .....n more than likely cause a bigger divide.
"WombMan Know thyself" Security comes from alignment with self n source an a man is merely along for that journey.
I got into really bad situations as a teenager, and my father and i (even though married to my mom) didn't have much of a relationship. So unconciously i was desperate for a guy to protect me and i looked for that. So i was in a 9 and 11 year relationship with 2 men who weren't very compatible with me at all, but i just didn't want to be alone in this world. Trying to built more on my (female) friendships these days.
Hard for a lot of guys to relate to that because most of us have been single our whole lives.
Teal should have said that post wall women can't land a protective man. Alot of oldies in this comment section are coping
@@spiritofalaskaIt's not always the case. I know a woman that got married at 20 with a 10 years older man. The man got into a mid-life crisis at 46 and suggested to his 36 years old wife to get a divorce claiming that he got bored of the family life and its obligations prevented him to live the life he wanted, clubbing, meeting other women etc. Eventually, his wife agreed and then they got divorced. Now he's dating a 23 years old woman while his daughter is 14.
I know an other case when a woman got married at 25 with a 41 years old man. When she was 36, her 52 years old husband left her for a 25 years old woman.
Or another case when a man who cheated on his first wife in her early 30's when he was 39 or 40 with a 19 years old girl. When that 19 years old girl were în her late 30's, she was also left by the same man for a 28 years old woman.
I know many more cases.
I mean a woman can get married before 30 or before 25 but it's not 100% guaranteed that she won't be the starter wife for a man. Just time can prove it or not!
@@spiritofalaskaIt's not always the case. I know a woman that got married at 20 with a 10 years older man. The man got into a mid-life crisis at 46 and suggested to his 36 years old wife to get a divorce claiming that he got bored of the family life and its obligations prevented him to live the life he wanted, clubbing, meeting other women etc. Eventually, his wife agreed and then they got divorced. Now he's dating a 23 years old woman while his daughter is 14.
I know an other case when a woman got married at 25 with a 41 years old man. When she was 36, her 52 years old husband left her for a 25 years old woman.
Or another case when a man who cheated on his first wife in her early 30's when he was 39 or 40 with a 19 years old girl. When that 19 years old girl were în her late 30's, she was also left by the same man for a 28 years old woman.
I know many more cases.
I mean a woman can get married before 30 or before 25 but it's not 100% guaranteed that she won't be the starter wife for a man. Just time can prove it or not!
P. S: RUclips, please, I ask you from the bottom of my heart to stop deleting my comments. Thank you!
Act in her best interest and take responsibility for her wellbeing…I’ve seen fathers, brothers, uncles, teachers, boyfriends, coaches, ministers and husbands not do that so it was never a good idea to assume they would or even continue if they ever did.
Thank you so much for braking this down! It has taken me a long time to come to the understanding that my choice in a relationship was really about how secure and safe the man made me. As well as my part in the manipulation of making sure that, that need was met. I really appreciate the Self inquiry questions that you offer. They are always so helpful.🙏🏻❤️
'breaking'
Community is required for a woman
@@stevelichtwark4259 💯💯💯
What happens when they don’t have it
@Jdawn92 most don't, anxiety and depression is through the roof
@@Jdawn92 They literally implode.
jk.
As a widower at 57 whose wife battled breast cancer over years, I believe it is judicious to seek that security on your own first as a woman, but that ideal of a loving partner providing complete security for you, is attainable. It creates a relationship dynamic that is transcendental in the experienced love. Absolute positive ownership, absolute trust, absolute dependency, absolute appreciation (both ways!). When your heart bursts with love looking into the eyes of your wife 35 years on, you know both of you have done right.
@@ralfm7989 God bless u. I wish there were more like u.
❤❤❤❤❤
It doesn't matter how long or how well you think you know someone, you won't know who they truly are until you tell them, "no."
I think most Men naturally have protective instincts towards women. Teal is normally a positive advocate for both Men and women, but she’s seems a bit off the Mark here and I think being overly self serving on behalf of woman kind in her rhetoric in this video.
I literally just had this exact epiphany a few days ago. Mourned and grieved my old self as I walk into a more empowered me. Thank you for this validation ❤
This! Emotional security is vital.
@@littleblackbabycat 💯💯💯
I would rather live in a cabin together with my guard dogs with no man on my side and protect my dogs from burglars on my own. For that it's good to be guarded through cameras, Internet and self defense modalities. That's why we need our original constitutional rights restored.
Internet ruined relationships. The illusion is much bigger now
Some things first need to get more obvious so they can come to light before being integrated, don't worry :)
Also before.
Tael just decribed all my exes before the internet.
But nice to hear, really affirming.
She should definitely do a Video on the illusion of the Lesbian...profound knowledge
Relationships were complacent before the internet and women didn't have access to information and opportunities.
Back to the Bible my friends 🙌
Thanks Teal!! Your video touches on my experience being a housewife and going through a nasty separation after 12 years. It’s so tough to face the reality of survival of the fittest for me. I’ve compromised so much in my relationships. I do accept the reality and choose daily to gain self sufficiency.
There may be truth to a lot of this. AND it makes sense why men also feel so undervalued and unappreciated. This has helped me to see why my work is to give this support to men and as we try to navigate relationships going forward, make sure women can own their part too and not be in a blame or victim stance. Thank you for helping me see this.
Thanks Teal! This video is very eye-opening and I think every women should have this awareness.
Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.
Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.
It's interesting! How can I contact a spiritual counselor most efficiently, and how did you find one?
Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.
He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.
I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable
I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤
Also even if you have a man who caretakes your emotional and physical safety, he is most likely to die before you. Hence why friends and community is so important too. Love this video. Thanks Teal for the thought provoking questions at the end 🙏💕
The "so that" motivation is the reason so many women keep men on their toes constantly chasing the carrot, with little tidbits of reinforcement, so that the man will continue investing in her. It is really sad. I have never done this which is why I have not been very successful in relationships. I don't care what people are saying about you because your advice is solid gold!
5:30 This is why I NEVER let my young daughter watch fairytales. I even made a video short about it, highlighting how it falsely teaches girls that a man has your best interest just because he finds you beautiful and other dangerous things.
I'm sorry for your daughter. I hope you don't have more than one.
@@smferreiro2610 You're just sorry that you have one less potential victim. Only a creep would have a problem with a child being protected. Have a nice day!😄
Isn't this attitude a bit controlling.?
Your daughter lives in a world of fairy tales.. How long until she starts watching them for herself.?
Surely watch them with her whilst breaking down the false narratives together..
@@ancienthamatendiscipline3533 My daughter is seven and I'm setting boundaries as a parent. She can break down all the fairytales she wants when she's an older kid/teen, past the deep brainwashing stage. If that's "controlling"... Oh, well! Better than being controlled by a man who will use those fantasies against her when she's a woman.
I agree with you. Saddly I don't have link to great RUclips channel who represented from where fairytale came from. You would be soo suprised! They didn't come from Disney
Always read stories with children but THEN TALK ABT IT!
Please consider the distortion modernity has brought to women's mindset. Still to this day most women in countries like Africa, Indonesia or Philippines consider children a blessing and their actual future security.
They invest in their children and the children invest back in their parents.
This is how normal society has functioned for forever.
women in those countries do not have much of a say as to what they want. You are assuming that if they had a choice, they would choose what they get now.
Yeah, and they can also be more feminine... actually bringing joy and happiness, commitment, inspiration to a man.
There is a video of a woman who dressed up and impersonated a man for 2 years (lasted 1.8 months) and realized how HARD it is to be a man. And as a woman even started to DESPIZE other women. But hey... it's all men's fault, right?
Or how about women choosing "cool" and "awesome" guys... instead of men who are fun, but also secure and stable, respectful and also a bit shy? And unless you "entertain them with smooth talk"... they will move on to a guy who will do that and then later COMPLAIN that this "smooth-talking player boy" doesn't want to commit to them... 😂
Hey... I like the video! And will gladly bring security to women in my life, and I see men around me doing that too. But honestly Teal's rhetoric (as much as I love her content) about how "bad men are" and never addressing what women are doing WRONG in their connection to them.... honestly is starting to piss me off. 😅
Teal, i love you & your perspective & boldness to broach subjects most reject. Thank you
When the need for security is pursued to its limit, it undermines the need for loyalty in the man. When the need for loyalty is pursued to the limit, it undermines the need for security in the women. Seeking group security (from other men)by the women is just as much of a violation toward men as controlling isolation by men is a violation toward women. Both ultimately deprive either loyalty or security respectively.
@lysanderspooner6178 underrated comment. I've never heard it put that way - but it's brilliantly articulated and true.
@@1984watchr kind words, thank you.
Yes
Thank you. I have personally experienced this. (Extremely difficult and painful).
Now that I “see”, my awareness is firing and I am on the other side of this. ❤
this video is a much needed birthday gift for me. thanks teal!
Happy birthday 🎉
Wishing you a healthy birthday, welcoming your growth❤
Happy birthday! Mine is next week 💗
This has been creeping up in my mind and life (and marriage) so much lately. This helps clarify what I’ve been noticing and feeling. When you mentioned “this is manipulation,” I was like, yes! It’s just true. I have been wanting to figure out what transactional exchange I want to go for. Not to mention…getting him to see this too, and knowing what his true needs are as well. And wondering if it could still work. I thought having an “outside the box” marriage was the only way we could move forward. But thank you for helping me see that this is actually the way of relationship going into the future. More consciousness. Oye!! So much to release!!!
Speaking of the point about disney princesses not being helped altruistically, they are helped by the forest animals, which to me represent the friends around you girls and the men that you manage to get in good graces with even when its clear there are not romantic intentions available. It happens.
Yeah I don’t like that one because like all the original tales the girls are helped by people or animals they helped despite their extremely limited or shitty situation. Which is truth in life. At least Disney kept that.
Thank you @Teal for being brave to go through and further more turn around to help others find their way through. HUGS.
I do think it used to be provided by family and friends. It's just family dynamics are all screwed up right now. I grew up in an environment where grandma and aunts where heavily involved in child rearing. And the men were teaching men stuff. Ya know fishing killing animals for food cooking them. Now the dynamics are way off. Family members usually split apart. They have children at vastly different times too. I grew up with like 10+ cousins or friends to hang out with at all times. So a group dynamic is really just a fix for what used to be a family dynamic in my opinion. Society kind of splits families apart due to the amount of flaws that have accumulated in the system due to many external pressures. Like society or organized religion which tend to shape a person's ideals and morals. That and can't romanticize the past either which means we can as individuals choose to fix and improve upon all previous systems. Day cares outsource what use to be a village type thing.
👍 AGREE
Agree with much of what is said. The big issue is taking ownership and responsibility but having no authority over the relationship
There is no love in an open relationship there's only pain and heartbreak
I´ve been waiting for someone to talk about this
Me too
Thank you Swan, your tribute is great, may you be blessed for ever n ever ♾️
That’s why women need to learn how to protect and care for themselves! And a lot of times men ruin that by being too reactive and I’ve never understood why.
Maybe these men unconsciously do not want their partners to feel safe. We could think critically and deeply about why that might be, like maybe these men were conditioned in such a way that they believe(again, unconsciously) that they are very bad, and that they don’t deserve a partner. So they behave in ways that would serve to drive women who are relatively emotionally healthy away(thereby saving these women from them). The women who stay with them are already very damaged, so it’s not a big deal, in the unconscious minds of these men, to have relationships with them. In short, antisocial tendencies and behaviors are unconsciously intended by men to drive healthy women away, towards men who are much less traumatized and even towards other women. Just a thought
I think Teal would highly disagree with your conclusion. She's teaching about mutual exchange.
@@katieandnick4113I'm a man and I think its mostly weakness or projection why a man would fall short of making his woman feel safe.
Weakness as in reactive, low resilience, cowardly etc.
Projection as in that the man assumes that women are like himself. He assumes that they feel more secure than that they truly do. Thus they underestimate how much of a sense of security they need to provide to her.
Projection and weakness are both caused by psychological repression. So a man that is badly individuated and thus doesn't know himself.
The problem is that the approach of the independent babe doesn't work either.
These women have either no relationships or very unsatisfying ones.
Because if a woman doesn't need her man then she won't respect or love him.
Women generally crave men that are better than them when it comes to things like confidence, status, job and income.
The only thing I'm convinced that works is if a woman picks a man that is so formidable that he can provide everything she needs including security.
But this is easier said than done because if the woman is not psychologically mature enough she will just repel such men.
Teal has videos on this.
Women in relationships with women have the highest divorce rate in the world, and are very physically and mentally abusive. In theory, it should be the opposite because then you have a person just like you to match all your needs. That can read you.
Yes, exactly what I’ve been thinking & feeling 🙏 thank you 🙏🦢❤️
The manipulated man: Esther Vilar
Yup. It’s a perspective we’ve forgotten and is sorely lacking in any modern discussion surrounding sex and gender.
Absolutely
Everything she's said was just fear based, leading to more fear. And, more manipulation. And then when actively deploying the manipulation you cannot love, thus none of it is real. And you lose anyway.
Bingo!
Bingo!!!!!
Living in a modern day commune sharing partnrs doesn't make sane women feel secure, safe, or healthy. At best, it's a sure way for jealousy drama and STDs.
Letting go of someone you love so they can be happier equals love. Doing it is another whole thing. I do knows this though I truly cared for my ex wife. Sadly I did not learn how to share my feelings and talk about them till long after she was gone. My ex wife was absolutely gorgeous, but what made her truly awesome was what was inside.
All she wanted was for me to help that's all, do my part, talk to her, respect her, be honest And faithful. Sadly, I was unable to do any of those things. At that time in my life I was on the end stretch of a 30 something year hard-core drug habit. She really never even got to know the real me. Heck I am still figuring that out myself.
You need to accept that your addiction is included in your "real me". All of our actions build us into who we are.
There’s still time and a good chance it can happen again ❤
@@jmac8834 ,
The only thing left to do is pick up the pieces and carry on. I need to work on me now. That is the kinda person my ex wife was , that's what she would have wanted. That is what made her so great. She was the type to hold you accountable, but she would want to see you succeed in life. She was not a hateful person. She was humble, loving and compassionate.
I just need to look forward now and not backwards in the past.
@@angel794 ,
I am well aware of that Angel. I live with it everyday.
I loved your insight so much, Teal. ❤️
I miss these little lessons. this is a good one; I live for energy exchange & never see that i’m “wrong” bc I live by it due to history with money & trade. I ain’t playing with my Time :)
You are a blessing Teal!!
The best security for me is no men around me.
Enjoy the bears.
@ghironsingh I don't understand what you are saying.( English is not my native language). I have learnt, better says the life learnt me to enjoy every moment living how and what I am. I don't need any acceptance from anyone to do it. 🙏❤️
@@IDA...15amen. If a woman is introduced in my life, then I'll welcome it. If not, then I'll be okay.
@@ghironsinghamazing a woman can’t even walk away without a man threatening her with death. This is why we don’t want you.
@@namedrop721You live in a bad place 😢
I've known this for a long time. Men ensure their own self interest is secure first above all else.
Strange that women are shocked that help or protection is not altruistic when they themselves will, even if they are married, check out of a relationship mentally while misleading and mooching resources from one man while searching for the next man that can give them more. Before you say not all woman do this. Yes, nothing is 100% but all women KNOW they can and the world will just say “you go, girl.”
They want men to be their producto-security bots to do all their yucky biddings and cry foul if their is any expectation of value exchange. "The big bad wolves aren't pampering me out of the kindness of their hearts!?"
They want us to be more moral than they are to farm us of our merits. That's why I reject all the attempts to morph me into their shamed redeemers.
@@courtneyharris1006interesting amount of projection going on here
It is men that leave for younger models. And overwhelmingly leave their sick wives, even after 40 years.
Women are nothing if extremely proficient at being hypocrites. Idk why YT recommended me this video but this woman is so jaded, I guess that explains the lack of a ring on it. If men weren't altruistic we would have never given women the right to vote, among all the other rights that have been afforded to them.
ooh my god, the way you introduce and explain the subject is clear. thank you Teal! for real
my answer to real security is to integrate al the parts of yourself that you have been rejecting as a result of trauma's. the only threat i see in other people is the disattachment from themselves and not willing to do something about it. and project it to any other person to give a short term feeling of false safety. not willing to tane ewsponsibility for it. that's where divorces are coming from. you don't do my inner work for me!
Exactly. Men should feel extremely unsafe in the world as well if you look at statistics of violence. But they don't. This is by far a lack of inner work, and if that's not enough at scale to make civilization work then we will need to go back to old roles because they're obviously correct about male and female nature.
💯
Thank you Teal for sharing your wisdom as always
Interesting take. Thanks for sharing
This is a train wreck of a video in terms of its hodgepodge borrowing and mangling of well established and understood psychological concepts ( codependency , love addiction ) and fusing them with the woke version of women’s lib and then completely stripping them of their evolutionary contexts. I do love though how most of the comments are infinitely more wise than the video
TEAL!!, YOUT PERFECT TIMING AS ALWAYS !!! 🎉🎉
THANK YOU TEAL FOR THIS TOPIC & POINTING OUT THE MYTHS !! 👏🏻👏🏻🎊🎊😼
Love Your No Nonsense approach Teal!!
Men too... this ,perfectly, resonates with myself as well :) just sharing. And thank you , so deeply
This is the best video on relationships that has so far been made. ❤❤❤
Thank you Teal!
This is such a great video. A very deep message that’s needed
We need communal living and villages now more than ever
There is always the danger these places become cults of narcissists and psychopaths.
Agreed! I love the way you presented this relationship dynamic. I have so many thoughts, see so many paths when it comes to this topic. Ownership is a spectrum.
Nailed it 👌🏻 love you Teal
Thank you, Teal. I wish I knew this a long time ago. I've been trying to figure out my patterns, and this video makes it so clear!!
Being in love is a state of being, you are in love together as if it is an ocean you both wade into…
Ignorance really is bliss
see what she did ? it is true that women could"t get credit cards. but she did"t say women could"t charge stuff,they just did"t have to pay for it their husbands did. dose it still sound like women where victims? so she got to buy dresses and food or what ever and charge it to her husband's account . boy did miss brandy from the brady brunch have it bad?
Men will naturally go over, above, and beyond for a woman if trust is present. In these times where being loyal to someone is frowned upon society is about self gratification under the guise of freedom. Where theres trust there will be safety.
False! Ive been loyal for 20 years....hes been cheating the entire time. Im still home raising the kids alone bc my family always comes first, idc. He doesn't even know us anymore bc hes too busy being a 45 year old bachelor. I couldn't be any more trustworthy, and we couldn't be any less safe.
That whole part about loyalty is 100% true. Today's society seems to ridicule loyalty as a form of subservience and naivete, then cries out that nobody has their back and everyone is completely selfish. 🤣
Fwiw, we're in east TN rn, living in between 3 peds. We have all girls. He took the g.u.n. and went to miami for the winter, after finding out our door lock(and washer and kitchen lights)broke and was like oh, sucks for yall💁♀️
Healthy men, yes. But most aren't.
@@LostNFound432 women likes guys other women likes. Did you like him in the beginning because you liked competing for attention with trashy women.
Your a lady so likely hood of you telling the truth if it makes you look bad is low.
If all this is true you changed and he didn't which means you didn't care who you started a family with you just wanted some clout and D.
You might be better now but you weren't better then and it you karma.
Will you lie to young women because misery loves companie or will you tell the truth so young ladies can do better?
Interesting. Falling into this super common assumed energy exchange women can do by agreeing to a sexual relationship with a man in return for safety is something I have known about since I was 12yrs old. I am so super grateful she has placed it all so eloquently into words so everyone else can finally get the picture.
It's unfortunate to say this, but reality is is really savage. Even when you want to help and protect every woman in the world, it's not possible because a man has a limited amount of time, energy, and money... And women generally require a lot of work. You can't save everybody. Just like I wouldn't expect a woman to wait around for me to get myself together while her time is running out to have a family and children... That would be selfish of me to make her wait when she can find somebody else to give her what she needs. She only has a limited amount of time to have children or fulfill whatever other dreams she might have.
Objectively women of the west have never been safer or more empowered. If you look at the data on physical violence from other men, men should also feel extremely unsafe. But, it doesn't even arrive on their radar, even though lots of other men could destroy us. No, this is an internal battle in the woman as proven by cross sex violence data. They need to win this battle against their own emotions inside then they will have peace., as men have despite the possibility of being killed by other men. Emotions are not always based in reality, and the data on men being calm yet also facing the possibility of violence proves it.