Why do Hasidic Women SHAVE their heads? + Her child LEFT the Hasidic community; how she reacted!
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- Опубликовано: 14 фев 2023
- You might have heard that Hasidic women shave their heads. You might also have heard that when someone leaves the faith, their family shuns them. I asked the lovely Pearl, a Satmar Hasidic woman, to speak about these topics.
Pearl practices the custom of shaving the head - as is common in the Hasidic community. In this video, she talked about what it meant to her and what she thought of the portrayal of the custom in the show Unorthodox.
Pearl also has a son who left the faith. I asked her to tell her side of this story, and she shared it so warmly and openly.
I'm so grateful for the opportunity to share this conversation with you all and I look forward to your thoughtful comments.
--} Make sure to check out part 1 here: • The Ancient Hasidic Ma...
--} If this video makes you want to learn more about the customs and distinctions of different Hasidic female head coverings, see this: friedavizel.com/2014/05/27/a-...
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I sampled a little footage of a very vibrant Hasidic wedding from this wonderful live stream: • Wedding Mar 09 2022 li...
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Filmed by Keith Pressman / kepress1.wixsite.com/keith-pr...
Edited by Steve Milligan / www.cliquemojo.com/
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To learn more about my work visit:
Website - friedavizel.com
Instagram - / friedavizel
Facebook - / toursbyfrieda
#orthodox #hasidic #religion
I am a 62 year old Christian woman and oh my goodness. I enjoyed you both so much. I hung on every word of this interview. You are both such beautiful women. Thank you.
Thank you!
Wow I am not Jewish but this was very inspirational especially how she referred to the importance of God.
I’m in love with Miss Pearl. I am an “OTD Christian “. 😄 I shave no regrets; yet much of what Miss Pearl described about the “facts” of her belief system, my cousin would say about my “loss”. Religious themes are more similar than adherents realize.
Very enjoyable interview. BTW, Miss Pearl is a cutie sans the shitel (sic). ☺️
Peace.
I enjoyed it so much too, Annette.
Thank you. I am not Jewish but this loving interview was such a gift. You are both such beautiful women. ❤
Her best advice is "be loving to your child". Her waiting up for him with supper, without judgment, is amazing!
That was Pearl’s perspective..who knows what really happened..just leave it at that..
Sounds like you know what happened or you personally experienced it
It certainly is. As a non Jewish mother of a wonderful son in his twenties who is still finding his way, I like the little I g approach. She really should be so so grateful that is he is normal though; educated, employed married with children. Period. Mine hasn’t finished college yet …. She is lucky’
At 19/20+, if my mother was waiting up for me in the middle of the night with a hot meal? I would rather fix something myself instead of having Mom staring at the clock and out the window waiting for me to walk into the house so she could feed me. It would make me feel she still thought of me as a little kid who still needed Mommy to take care of him. Really. I would have found it annoying.
@@lydiarowe491 EXACTLY!!! “If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is DISGRACEFUL for a woman to have her HAIR CUT OFF OR her head SHAVED, she should cover her head."
(1 Cor 11v6 Amplified Version). See also Bemidbar 5:18
As someone who rejected my parents religion and was brutally rejected by them, this video made me weep. If only my own mother had reacted like this dear woman reacted to her son. This women has a deep well of motherly love that we can all learn from.
I think it’s more common now for kids to leave a religion when they are teens or young adults. You know the saying…13 bar mitzvah 14 atheist
.
Sorry for your pain....And yet her son still is somewhat OTD. My point is, with a very challenging childhood of my own, I am ultimately responsible for myself. Like the Rebbitzin said, it is not worth chucking the users manual of a car away because the person who gave it to you did so harmfully.
We are people, we make mistakes, and do all sorts of horrible things sometimes. That is what Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are there for. To do better and be better. So if you choose to do something harmful to a car because the manual was given in an unkind or inhumane way, how does that help the car? The car will be even worse off.
First learn what you are rejecting and Who you are rejecting, and who you are hurting by chucking the manual away.
Thank you for respectfully reading to the end. I wish you much wisdom, healing, and the opportunity to care for yourself and your family more by giving them the manual to live their best, happiest lives.
Content was excellent and so extremely engaging..❤❤
What a very wise woman she is. The word of God says whoever lacks wisdom should ask God who gives freely, so we should ask and receive.
I know who to go to now for wisdom, but feel bad that I didn’t know for so many years when my children were growing up here at home. I didn’t know the Lord then. Maybe things could have been different, better. Thank you for this wonderful documentary. The Lord bless you both. He’s coming back very soon. Johns wife.
My mother as well😢
I am a 64yr old Christian, and all I want to do now is visit Pearl, and sit listening to her wisdom! Her passion is truly infectious, and her compassion, moving. Thank you both for this wonderful message.... and the previous one too!
She will think you are crazy for being a Christian. I know Hasidic Jews and their religion sect is the only right sect.
100%. This grandmother's wisdom was fascinating to me. This interview was so wonderful and Frieda is very talented. I loved this.
She will not have anything to do with you in real life. Hasidic Jews don’t socialize with non Hasidic Jews. They are a tight community
Me too
Me too! Pearl is such an encouragement and her faith in God is inspiring. I am a Christian as well and have gotten so much out of these interviews with Pearl
I'm a religious orthodox woman and I must say that your interview was done so respectfully and put our religious practices in a much more favorable light than any other interview I've ever seen. Thank you
It is a beautiful interview. I have learned so much. I am so grateful.
You might like Peter Santenello's series on Chassidic Jews.
@@dmalka336 yup, I've seen some of it. TY
I second the notion. Great interview, great explanation of the different customs and laws.
Agree.
I wish there were more interviews of orthodox Jewish men talking about their lives and the day-to-day aspects.
As a Jew with no religious community where I’m currently at for law school, it’s hard to feel connected.
Most YT channels on this are of women & they occasionally feature their husbands.
Those definitely are still valuable and help my wife a lot. It’s just hard to find balance for myself as there’s different responsibilities.
I’m a Black woman, mid 50’s and I thoroughly enjoyed this interview. I have so much respect for this woman and her open minded thought process toward her son and her children. She is self assured but yet vulnerable at the same time. Her absolute belief in her faith is unwavering. I learned a lot from this interview. We mothers are more alike than we know. Thank you for sharing!
What a beautiful comment. Thank you for sharing your perspective & how this effected you. I share your perspective & appreciate your having shared it w/others. I bid u peace🙏
Lovely!
@@kayoticmind You said what I felt exactly.
Eloquently put Madame -
She also hates gentiles and people of color. Trust me. I know Hasidic Jews and they are very prejudice. They know Jews are marrying outside the faith and their numbers are declining
This interview is a prime example of how two people can experience the same thing and have two totally different views. One married woman may enjoy this lifestyle and another may absolutely hate it. This is quite engaging and insightful.
I don't see any reason to shave hair. That is another way to keep women subdued and controlled. Hair is NOT evil. Nor is food.
@@littleme3597 of course you don't, it's not your religious or cultural custom.
Remember it is not surface success, but true fulfillment, genuine satisfaction and peace, and happiness that determines the difference. Who is truly happy, the 1 seeking, questioning, doubting, or the 1 with a deep sense of purpose and meaning that provides joy no matter what the circumstances. Who is truly free?
@@hollyyoung649 No need to do this. HAIR removal does not prove anything. Harm's the woman. 2023.
@@gilashroot8697
🫤
If it’s imposed on you, you are not free.
What a lucky family to have Pearl as their mother, so wise, kind and educated
And FANATICAL
So fanatical 🤣
All cults are similar down to the insulting advice "educate yourself" a favourite with vegans.@@deidradahl2802
@@deidradahl2802Your obsession with the “patriarchy” is fanatical. Get a grip.
I am not Jewish but find watching Pearl extremely interesting and informative.
Same here. I have had a number of Jewish friends over the years, some fen had kosher kitchens, but none were strict orthodox. It’s very interesting to learn more about the orthodox side. It also amazes me how closely the old health/medical customs are aligned with modern science.
I'm wooed! I'm smitten with the desire to experience her joy and contentment
It’s funny the things you stumble upon on RUclips. I’m not Jewish. In fact I’m Catholic and my husband is Muslim. But something about Pearl is very special. Your love and faith in her religion and how it permeates every word that comes from her mouth is truly so pure. As a mother I connected with her love and worry for her children. Her sacrifices for their well being. I don’t know how else to say it but I just needed to hear her words today. All the videos were incredibly calming and comforting to me. Proof that even In religious differences we can still find common ground and love. I wish her and her family all the best. ❤
Pearl is the “light” in a dark world!
It is so heartwarming to hear all the comments of different women from different religions. We all agree 100 percent that both you and Pearl are extraordinary. You both need to do a podcast together . When it comes down to it we are women that love our children, families and love our God. You and Pearl are a light where now there is so much darkness.
I feel exactly the same way.
Yes, she embodies the faith - she walks the walk with complete authenticity. You can feel it through the computer screen.
@@faganquin6483 Yes I love her devotion: both inspirational and moving. This interview was so fascinating and so educational. I was really impressed by Frieda's questions, her compassion and the absolute eloquency of this grandmother's responses, her wisdom, her intelligence and her sage and wizened comments.
I'm a not-so-very religious Jewish man, 60s and I loved watching this interview. Pearl is wonderful, and I love that she didn't refuse her son who left Satmar way of living.
Whichever nomenclature your group has, never forget you are first and foremost: Jewish!
as a mother, she is so understanding and feels her child's pain despite wanting him to believe in the religion, she continued to accept him and did not shun him or treat him differently. "i'm suffering for him" , that's true motherly love...i am in awe of this woman.
Did she really? She says in this very interview that basically he put her in the hospital. Guilt tripping and control take many forms. Her husband and the rabbis surely gave her permission to do this because of the way she is telling the story
oh ok@@RETate-kk8yi
She’s an excellent ambassador for her religion
*Ethnoreligion
@@ES-wn4oq *no need to correct them, because the type of Yiddishkeit Pearl is sharing focuses heavily on her faith. Of course certainly ethnic heritage is included in the dialogue, but there was no need to correct the person above. You need a hobby.
Go Pearl!
@@ES-wn4oq I agree with you and was about to comment similar
I thought to myself: "she should be a Rabbi".
It would be very interesting if you could interview Pearl’s son to get his thoughts about being OTD. Thank you and thanks to Pearl. You are both dynamic women.
Your son sounds like he’s a good man and that’s great , treasure him , I lost my son 2 years ago , so long as he’s leading a good life with his wife and kids be happy for him and be thankful
So sorry to hear that.
Pearl is one of the most remarkable and empathic Jewish souls. She truly embraces her life while a bright light shines from her heart and soul. There are not many like Pearl. Thank you for this second heart-to-heart discussion.
Pearl is the most darling woman. I am not Jewish, but the Christian faith and the Jewish faith are so intimately connected, that it resonates really strongly. Pearl said something that I've repeated many times, and people find it so confusing. God wants us to love him and each other, and further, he wants us to want to love him and each other. Not a double entendre, but like that. To want to want. One of the great truth's. I could listen to Pearl for hours and hours. Great interview. Thanks so much for showing us.
agreed!
She reminds me of my grandma that I miss dearly. A compliment of the highest order!
I watched another Hasidic you tube person, and I found the similarities between the Hasidic customs and the Muslim customs disturbing.
@@celiamartin2907 respectfully, may I ask why disturbing?
I’m southern Baptist in Alabama and had gone to nyc 7 years ago. I love the modesty and how they celebrate and love their family. We need society to be more like them. God’s Chosen people!
Please tell Pearl how much she is loved by your audience. I am Catholic and was always taught Judaism is our older sibling in religion. I could feel Pearl’s closeness to God. Her love for her son melts my heart. Please have her back for more conversations. ❤️❤️❤️
I too love Pearl and I too am a Catholic and believe they are our older siblings. I have also been taught, that the Jewish people have so much to teach us and share with us and Pearl IS doing this at least for me. Thank you Pearl and thank you Freida. Baruka Attah Adonai. LindaM
I agree. Pearl is so thoughtful, so obviously caring and loving for her children. I have thoroughly enjoyed Frieda's conversations with her and hope to see more!
Lutheran/Catholic. (Dad Catholic, Mom Lutheran). We were raised that without Judaism, the Son never would have been born. Christians cannot be Christians without Jews. We are like a tree on different branches, it all leads to the trunk directly to God
Same here, Jesus was Jew we come from Judaism. My parents lived their religion, it is a great example, seems that Pearl’s father was a lot like mine, believed 100%!
I can feel her faith, her love and her passion. I just hope there will be more wisdom from both of you soon.
If all mothers were like Pearl there would be a lot less violence & poverty of spirit in the world today. Her wisdom is impeccable. Her name fits her perfectly. She is blessed beyond measure. Shalom
I love this woman! So many “Pearls of wisdom” -wanting her son to want Hashem, and her proclamation, “it’s not about me darling.!” I too understand this deep ache of a child’s decision. Indescribable. Thank you for sharing Pearl.❤🙏🏻
I don't think Pearl realizes that her lifelong ambition to help the world has been fulfilled in these two videos. More than she might realize, and from within a life that many would consider limited and confined, she has brought a great light and understanding to us, and we are blessed. G-d bless her.
Amen.
Pearl’s love for her faith is so beautiful. I wish all people felt that way.
As a Christian I am so grateful to Pearl for being prepared to share her faith and traditions with all of us … it really just goes to show how that by talking and listening so much can be learnt…. Such an witness for her faith!!!
She has a purpose, she knows where she came from, what she is doing, and where she is going.
What a beautiful answer!
"Heavy eyeliner?" "No, he wasn't Gothic." As someone married to a former Goth teen, I thought this was adorable.
The fact she knew the difference says a lot about how they are not " clueless" about the secular world.
@@green1eyed1leopardes To be fair Pearl is far from your average Satmar woman. I'm almost certain 90%+ of Satmar women would have no idea what a "goth" even is.
When she said that I said to the screen "She's adorable!!!"
I want to know what band he was in now!!!!
She stands out…many Hasidic people wouldn’t know the difference.
@@juliancohen9561I can easily imagine a group of satmar women seeing a goth person when they venture out to a local park or something, and then gossiping about it in the community. Or maybe one of their kids was exposed to goth subculture just like her son was exposed to heavy metal sub culture.
So she hates her hair and hated it back then. And her mom was aware it is a big step, that’s why she did it reasonably. What if you loved your hair? Why is it unreasonable to have emotions about it? About the new and unknown life she will have as a married women. And I interpreted that scene as her emotions about the wedding, she felt pressured into marriage.
I agree. For the young woman who doesn’t want to get married in the first place, cutting her hair can feel like the final chain being attached to her. There’s no going back once you are physically “marked” as a married woman.
Mmmmm
But I think it's instructive that Frieda, too, didn't have an emotional connection to her hair when she got married, while she was still in the community. And she's a *very* different person from Pearl, with a very different life experience. Though the part of the Torah-observant world I participate in (not in NY) just completely covers the married woman's hair (with a "tichel"-nice scarf or snood or "sheitel"-wig), I knew almost nothing about the Satmar hassidim before these videos. But if I understand rightly from what Pearl (& to an extent Frieda) said here, it would be very unusual in the Satmar world for a young girl to "love" her hair, or carry a strong emotional bond with it, since all her female role models whom she loved & grew up with shaved theirs. It's a sign of adulthood; young people usually "can't wait" to be fully grown up. Just my 2 cents.
@@sherila4834 it’s entirely possible that most women in the community don’t see it as a big deal. I don’t see being a stay at home mom as a big deal, because I’m a feminist and believe women should choose their occupation. But there are plenty of feminist women who HATE the idea of being a stay at home mom for themselves. If they were forced to be one, they would have a similarly strong (a misogynist would call it hysterical) reaction. Both views are valid. That’s all I was saying. Explicitly saying that a visceral reaction is just being dramatic, like Pearl did, is myopic. And hugely unempathetic. But again, it’s clear that open mindedness and empathy for difference isn’t culturally relevant for their community. It’s more about conforming for the good of the community. There are wonderful aspects to that. Unless you are different. If you’re the nail that sticks out, you get hammered down. It just doesn’t HAVE TO BE that way, you know?
That’s was my take. She didn’t want to get married and lose her hair.
What a fascinating woman. I am Jewish myself, but a secular Jew. My family is about 3 generations removed from Orthodox practices, so my knowledge is very limited. I very much enjoyed hearing the “inside” perspective.
Pearl makes me wanting to be a better mother, a better human being. Than you for this interview❤❤
Pearl is great but Freida is AWESOME!!! I'm sure many things Pearl said to her weren't easy for her to hear and she so respectfully smiled and nodded!
She seem fine. Youbdo not knownl what she was thinking unless you can read minds. She actually thanked Pearl and said it had helped her and she became more informed herself.
One of my fave moments: When Pearl explained to Frieda what CBGB is! 😂
Me too, that made me laugh, Pearl knew CBGB and not Freida, too funny
A true New Yorker
Yes! Pearl is hip!
I thought that was funny, too!
“Who is rich? He who is happy with his life!” I will remember this … soooo true! Loved you both… Pearl’s passion and love and concern for her son …. And Frieda for her gentle spirit and empathy. So educational … I shall return! 💕
Thank you so much for the way you chose to define the yiddish words that were used in this interview! It was great to see the word spelled out along with the definition. ❤
"He was wearing eyeliner?"
"No, no, he wasn't Gothic!"
This part sent me, even though I'm sure that suddenly discovering that your Chasidishe kid is drumming in a heavy metal band is a huge shock. Pearl's comments about belief and practice are also really interesting to me and really illustrate a significant difference, I think, between the way Christianity approaches the concept of faith versus the way Judaism does.
For SURE!
Well, pop/rock is a big thing for Christians. I figure people of all religions should also be able to enjoy updated music with lyrics matching their faith in addition to traditional stuff.
Certainly depends on the domination!
I was brought up in a church with a heavy emphasis on knowledge versus feelings. We were expected to study the Bible and know why we believe.
But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.
1 Peter 3:15-16
Pearl knows exactly who she is and who she was meant to be. I'm jealous. ❤
I feel you!
❤
Don’t be jealous. I get it, I really do. But though Pearl is a lovely, intelligent woman, she bases her life on doing what has been done because it has been done. At the simplest most basic level, there are no choices to be made. Everything is laid out for you. No decisions. No options. Is it easier? Yes? No? Not for me. I will always take the struggle.
@@fionastube2011 love everything you're saying!😍 I meant jealous in the 'admiring' Pearl's sense of self not coveting her choice and direction. I don't think it's fair to think her life is without struggle. I think you're very self aware and I admire that.
Thank you, Frida, Pearl and HaShem for this frank, open and warm discussion on Satmar life today. All was deeply comprehensible - between the depth of committment and belief, the necessity of good Jewish education and the struggle for some people to find their own life's path. None is easy, as explained, but the main thing is always the tie to HaShem with happiness and satisfaction.🌺🌹⚘🌺🌹⚘🌺🌹⚘
I'm a Roman Catholic and we experience the same loss. I loved how Pearl said before you leave, educate yourself. What a wonderful woman. You both have such beautiful spirits. Thank you so much for sharing.
Such an interesting conversation. I’ve learned a great deal. Thanks to Pearl for opening her home, her heart, and her mind to all of us. I hope that Pearl knows how appreciative we are of her generosity! We’re trying to educate ourselves and she is a wonderful teacher!
Your goal is Nobel. I hope, and know (because it is promised he who seeks shall find), that this pursuit will bring all the answers and knowledge to help you achieve your best life.
I have to disagree with Pearl about women shaving their hair at their weddings. I am not Chasidic, but my family is, and I've been to dozens of weddings in New Square, which is more right wing Orthodox than Satmar. I've watched the brides looking cheerful and happy, and then they have their heads shaved before the Chuppah and they look absolutely traumatized. Every bride in that community is used to shaved heads, and they're still traumatized when it happens to them. Pearl seems like a lovely woman but she's portraying an idealized view.
How anyone can blindly follow some rules made by a leader hundreds of years ago is beyond me. Cary Grant the movie star, told a host in an interview that he regretted not standing up for himself against the producers, who told him and other actors, to extract their good teeth and put in dentures in order to get a part. Now these Jews have to shave off their good hair, and wear ''dead hair'' wigs, and everyone goes with it. They do not even realize that all the wig shops are owned by the leaders. Now I see how the Jones Town Murder in Guyana came about. Everyone like sheep, just goes along with the program, no one questions it, or rebels
@@deidradahl2802
You living in a nation with laws means you simply blindly obey laws, whether you like it or not, why you pay taxes, pay insurance, send your kids to school, and many other laws and rules necessary to live in your country, without even questioning or doing anything about them. Furthermore, you as lay and average person are not smart enough to understand what's good for you or not, why divorce rate is at 50%, why you get sick, why you aren't wealthy, and make mirriads of mistakes because of your own misjudgements. If you were smart enough to make your own decisions, you'd be producing best sellers.
Religious Jews survive over 3000 years, do you even know who your ancestors are? Will you even be remembered in a hundred years?
Could be denial consciously or unconsciously. I mean even if we believe in sth and know sth will happen it can still be traumatizing and that isn‘t judgemental, doesn‘t say if it‘s good or bad, it‘s just a possibility. When you get rid of sth you were used to for a long time, it can hurt.
I picked this up also, as she walked around the answer several times. Thanks for sharing your more realistic perspective.
I think any women would be traumatized having their hair shaved. And for what reason? What new husband wants to see his wife bald? And then wear a wig which is hot and scratchy. This is not in the Bible, this is a new sect started in the late 1890’s and the leader said to do this.
I am a atheist and don't do any traditions but I love understanding traditional people. I absolutely love Yiddish. I have lived around so many Yiddish speakers and they are the funniest people I've ever met. There are so many beautiful things in Jewish traditions. Even people like me can really appreciate the beauty of tradition. Pearl is amazing! I love her!
I know your comment is a couple months old, but I just wanted to give my reply as a fellow atheist. I was raised catholic, but have always been fascinated with other religions. I have spent a large portion of my adult life studying and learning about different cultures and find deep seeded traditions and rituals quite beautiful. I 100% support the right of all humans to live the life they choose, as long as it is truly their choice and causes no harm to others.
@@nerdy_nurse Ditto!!
Same here, I’m atheist and I’m health worker based in the community with a very diverse population; I like to learn about other’s culture and religion to better understand their needs and behaviour.
@@Metonymy1979Ray Comfort interviews.
She is not accepting her son. She is talking to him and not shunning him but it is made very clear hear that she massively disapproves of his choice, and that it is not OK with her
its a real mitzvah to let people hear off these dealings and also to speak truth and be honest about how you are dealing with the things that they dealt with ... and everything .
I liked this because this woman is so good at knowing her own worth. 🎉
At 2:18 that is a very high level of commitment from a mother to sit up waiting until 2 AM while your child is struggling through their faith just waiting to feed them dinner.
no, that's emotional blackmail. The son is not struggling: he's off the derech, he's left.
@@urbandiscount Depends on how you look at it.
I’m sure it could be both depending on circumstances, but if I were in that situation, I’d consider myself to be struggling with my family’s faith. Without knowing more, and it’s none of my business, it could be a reach to assume either way.
Even if you leave and are 100% sure it’s right for you, I’d still consider it a struggle as it’s been your whole life. Staying connected to family isnt always easy. It’s better than writing him off as some families of all faiths have done in similar situations.
@@Noname-wi8xp I agree. It would be worse if she showed little care and concern.
@@urbandiscount naah it's more of a parent thing ...my dad would stay up to 2am and pick me up home from parties when I was 19. He used to complain about it though then I got my own licence and it was "Why don't you ever ask me for a ride anymore?" Lol 😂 parents. I think he really enjoyed picking me up from parties so he could make sure I was home safe. His dadness got flexed. This mum might think her son is leaving the faith but she'll make him a dinner because she needs to mother him and keep him cared for. It's about flexing her mum-ness not about control. Must have been fabulous for the son to get a good meal into him after a gig. Heavy metal! Lolololol what a contrast. That dinner ritual was a bridge.
Frieda, this interview truly tops all the others. and the others were great too. I wish i could give you the equivalent of a grammy award for your superb conversation with Pearl. It's because of your humility that you have so much success. May Hashem bless you with tremendous Bracha.
Frieda, I fully agree. Your personality and genuine curiosity allowed for such an honest open interview. Well done!!!
אמן
You can be observant within a secular world without so many restrictions.
Modern Orthodoxy is an option.
Her son wanted more options in his life. My guess he felt restricted.
Pearl is a very kind and sweet.
I understand that it seems normal and expected for Pearl. But we can also recognize that not every woman has the same experience, right? What seems ridiculously hysterical to some can and is genuinely traumatizing for others. We can agree on that, right? The story of Unorthodox was one woman’s experience. And even IF it were a singular, unusual experience - it’s still VALID.
I absolutely love this interview! As a baal teshuva (a Jew that grew up secular and decided to become Orthodox in her late 20's), I am happy to see a positive and honest representation of an Orthodox Jew. Most Jews rejecting Judaism today do not know why they've rejected it or what they're missing out on, it was a decision made by generations before them. Shabbat is my saving grace! To rest, to relish in family & friends, it is such a big blessing! Thank you Pearl for being so candid and honest.
@Alexis Geffen I love your comment !
Being a Sephardic Yeshivish woman I am so sadden by the representation of our orthodox communities at large and to have a non bias look at yiddishkeit is amazingly refreshing BH!
Stay safe and blessed!
What do all the men work as? I have seen some programs from Israel and I really Wonder. Many study religious and wife and a lot of kids. What does They make money on?
@@lindalund9621 there are a lot of entrepreneurs, mom and dad’s shops , teachers, rabbi, rebbi, social workers, special Ed,… as highly educated people MD, lawyers, judges, engineers,… there’s a bit of everything!
@@lindalund9621 the wife earns, or charity
Just read what psychologist Nancy Hartevelt Kobrin PhD wrote about covid and the orthodox. And psychologist Ronald Goldman PhD's book.
I am Muslim and I simply love Pearl. I loved this episode so much. The way Pearl feels about her faith is the similar to how I feel about mine. What a wonderful, warm, and accepting woman. I also love your questions because most of them is what I am asking in my mind. I have been living among Orthodox Jews for decades and learning only so much now from Pearl. I don’t know if she will ever see this but if she does I hope she knows how appreciative we are of her to allow us all to see her home, lifestyle and mature mind.
Same! I was raised jewish and converted to Islam years ago, I love these videos.
@@arosemorose may Allah bless you tremendously and give you Jannah. Ameen.
@@arosemorose well aren’t you silly
@@whitemailprivilege2830 I am quite silly
Me as well. As an orthodox Muslim mom it is a fear of mine that my children will go OTD( off the deen). May Al Raheem save them and have mercy upon them from that faith. I love listening to her and picking up all the Hebrew/ Yiddish words like hukum(wise guy) similar to hikmah(having knowledge in Arabic) . And the fasting on Mondays and Thursdays, Muslim is called the fast of Prophet Dawud(David peace be upon him)
Love how Pearl breaks it down ❤ she’s a real credit to the community and very likable even when people may disagree with what she’s saying.
Thank you, Frieda, for giving us this beautiful interview with Pearl, such a special and luminous person!
I am a Ukrainian Catholic woman and I could feel the love, respect, tradition and goodness which emanates from this wonderfully intelligent woman and the brilliant interviewer. I am a diaspora born Ukrainian who is proud of my heritage, family and faith. God bless you all
What love? She hates everything and everyone that is not Jewish. Can't you see how evil that person is?
Such a delight to watch these two women being so frank and generous to each other!
Pearl has a remarkable wit and clarity of thought.
Thanks for sharing this.
What a beautiful sweet loving woman !!! I can see her heart from here. I'm not a jew. I'm black Christian and enjoy so much listening to her. Love is really a beautiful thing ! To the interviewer I say "hat tip" to you lady you did a fantastic job !!! Probing but sensitive and professional at the same time. Well done 👏 ❤🙏🏼
The thing is this IS going to be a big deal, all of it, the head shaving, the arranged marriages, the expectation to have as many children as possible, if this simply isn’t the right life for you. So you know, this woman’s perception is valid but so is the perception of those for whom that head shaving might well have been very traumatic because they just don’t want to live this way.
I'm Danish - a goy - and I thank you for this educational journey, sprinkled with wisdom, joyousness and laughter - even when it got serious, complex and unexpected. Pearl is truly living up to her name.
So true, her name really fits her. She is a beautiful Pearl.
Don't say goy. Just say not Jewish
You can tell she's a proud Jewish mother. From when she mentioned CBGB, and that he must have made it if he played there...And then the psychology degree. She's kvelling, even if she wants him to want to be connected to his Yiddishkeit. Bless her. He is blessed to have a mother who cares so much.
Yup! I thought the same thing when she mentioned CB's (and that made me smile. I saw so many shows there). She was clearly very proud of him
Fantastic interview. What a joy to be happy with one’s life and know one’s path. Thank you for this.
I am not Jewish but I live in the main Hasidic neighbourhood in Montreal. Thank you Pearl and Frieda for educating me and helping me learn about my neighbours!
Frieda, you have a gift as an interviewer that very few people have. Your reactions always invite the guest to share more about their thoughts and the reasons behind their statements without judging in any way. I am in awe of that skill.
I am a 69 year old Christian woman who was married 25 years to a Messianic Jew. Many of Pearl's responses are almost word-for-word the very same concerns as many Christian women. We want our children to have the same depth of faith as we profess. We want our children to experience the same joy that we have found thru our faith. Sometimes this happens naturally and sometimes it doesn't. Then mothers grieve for their children without a spiritual foundation. I identify with Pearl. I heard the sweetness of her heart and of her spirit. Thank you for this video. It was a view into a community so different from mine, and yet, so similar.
Pearl is such a dynamic person. I can feel her love and joy during your talks with her. I am not a Jewish person, but I have had many Jewish friends and because of the kindness of one Jewish person I was able to go to school to become a nurse. That was over 40 years ago. The thing that impresses me the most about Pearl is how she does everything with love in her heart. That is truly having faith and following Gods path. Please tell Pearl that she touched my heart and how special she is to others who have had the opportunity to listen to her speak with you. Thank you
Plus, she is incredibly wise. I really admire her love for her faith
I absolutely enjoyed every second of this beautiful conversation with this loving mother, amazing lady, so peaceful and wise. There's so much love and respect in her voice. Respect ❤
I’m not Jewish and I learned a lot from your show. Thank you and also a big thank you to Pearl for being so open and brutally honest.
So thankful to Pearl for her honesty. She really does have a beautiful sense of "enoughness" and is a great model for being not just satisfied, but joyful about what we are meant to be.
Pearl is great, we need more interviews with Pearl. She is so interesting and honest. Hungry for more!!!❤
This series is so very special as are you. I think Pearl is a rare gift that you thankfully have shared w/the world. She is so kind-hearted & truly brilliant (as are you). Blessings & peace to you & yours.
I am a woman of faith. Years ago a devout, Jewish family were friends of mine. I was proud that their sons wore their yarmulkes to school. They didn't even consider not to. The greatest compliment I've ever received was from the father who said that he respected me because I also loved and practiced my Christian religion the same way that his wife did.
So the best compliment you ever received was for being submissive ?
Grow a backbone !
Pearl seems like such an amazing person.Her family is so fortunate to have her in their life. I Feel lifted by her words.
I’m a Catholic woman and I wish I have the same passion that this woman have, what a beautiful and enjoyable interview, what a beautiful soul, what a beautiful woman ❤
What a fantastic video! Pearl is so wise and such a generous person for sharing her life with us.
I am not a Jewish woman. I am a Catholic. However, I loved your interviews with Pearl. She is such a warm and loving woman and a treasure to her family and her community as well as we viewers. I love her and her love of God. If all people could be like her we would have such a wonderful world! Thank you for such a wonderful program. I applaud all the work you have you have accomplished. God bless you both. And, God bless all your future endeavors! Thank you
But WHAT IF YOUR OWN MOTHER was like this "Pearl"?! OY!
I, too, love watching Pearl. I am not Jewish but I still love this channel. I love learning about different cultures and Frieda's videos are so informative without being boring.
What an amazing interview! Pearl is a real gem. I wish her the very best. You, too.
Thank you so much for facilitating this enriching conversation!
She has such a gentle soul. Her words are full of conviction and wisdom. I hope this is not the last time that we hear from Pearl. All the best to her and her family!
As a frum Lubavitch woman who worked in the Satmar community and now works with Skver, I wanted to thank you for shedding light on the beautiful and rich lives these communities live. I've always been made to feel welcome in the Skver community even though lubavitch is so different!
Thank you!!!
So well said Roch ❤️❤️
I thoroughly enjoyed this interview. Very educational I have nothing but respect for this community.
Wonderful words and thoughts. Such a respectful interview. I loved every minute of it ❤
I’m chasidic and I am so happy she is speaking about the true attitude and life of the satmar community.
She is a lovely warm woman who has absolute belief in her religion’s customs . I am Catholic and I have absolute belief in God , God’s love , forgiveness and future in heaven for all except the completely evil . I do not believe in the rightness of customs . If people want the customs and rules then that is fine if that is their free happy choice . Shaving women’s hair after marriage is abusive , humiliating , degrading and controlling . I find the continual use of Jewish words off putting and excluding as this is for general viewing , I assume . I wish that she would speak in English .
@@BlackStump172 I’m married and it’s not abusive or controlling at all. It’s just something you can’t understand because you weren’t raised like us… you can say you view it as but you can’t say it is. That’s not factually correct but rather an opinion. She talks in her native tongue for certain words that she finds harder to replace with English words. Any other culture and you wouldn’t have minded. Imagine an Indian woman sporadically using Indian phrases. Why does it irk you so much when she does the same? God absolutely has different rules for his chosen people and that’s a fact. With greatness come great responsibility and duty. You don’t believe in anything that makes you do anything you yourself don’t want to do so in essence you believe in yourself and your own desires most. More than God. You justify it by saying God loves all except completely evil. What constitutes completely evil? Do you understand that there are many steps down to the completely part all which are treacherous and wrong? An affair doesn’t begin with the act. Every glance and every nuance that leads to it is evil. And there are many many more examples. Jewish woman are diamonds and diamonds are kept secure and safe. Hidden in the safe. Gaurded from the dangers outside. Valued and appreciated and ultimately priceless.
It would be so helpful if the voices were heard of those who go OTD and leave. Especially in Satmar, but also Ger.
@@BlackStump172 how different are the men’s overcoats from a priest’s cassock?
Your comments reveal serious misinformation about people who are not YOU.
I’m not frum Orthodox, but I’ve been very close to that line. Tichel, but I was lax generally (because of my job).
People have different ways of living their faith, and as long as it doesn’t breed hate or violence, so what? (I do have issues with generally hateful faith leaders and followers.)
As far as the language goes, the translations fall in “pretty much that”. They aren’t exact.
And the entire world doesn’t speak English.
In homes, Satmar Jews speak Yiddish, not English. Their experience is bilingual.
@@BlackStump172 I am not even Jewish, but I consider the complaint about Jewish words offensive. This was a conversation between two native speakers of Yiddish, both of whom learned English in school as a second language. Frieda now lives in an English speaking environment and speaks perfect English as people do after a few years of immersion. She did her best to explain the words that might be confusing for people from another culture. Pearl, however, still rarely speaks or hears English at all. For her it seems to be primarily a written language. The most obvious sign of this is probably her funny pronunciation of "realm" as "real" with an "m" added at the end, which came up several times and is a Yiddishism that also happens to be a Germanism: It is identical to how most of my colleagues here in Germany pronounce the word. (It's a technical term in IT.) Simply because they have never heard the word spoken by a native speaker, followed by reinforcing each other's wrong guess.
Also, the specifically Jewish words in how many Jews in New York speak are the natural result of language contact. All English speakers have at least traces of their regional and social origin in their speech. Usually it's mostly pronunciation, but in bilingual communities (and also in regions in the UK and Ireland!) it's also the use of different words. Even New York Jews who grew up with English as their first language probably did so in the Jewish sociolect of English, which includes some Yiddish words because it arose out of the non-native English spoken by Yiddish speakers and is still in contact with native Yiddish speakers. Most of the time when Pearl speaks to native English speakers, those will be speakers of this sociolect, so that she gets no opportunities to practice saying, for example, the more general English term synagogue instead of shul or yeshiva (which appear not to have exactly the same meaning, so in a way they are even required as technical terms for precision).
As someone who is OTD, wow…😢 this is really quite powerful and painful. I appreciate her sharing this, as i know this will be healing and helpful for many. Does it ease my guilt and pain, no but it does both make me long for the community I left and also be grateful I’m free. As I’m doing things I could never do. I’m glad-so glad she shared this. I know that it has to be hard knowing that goyim will see it, and I know others in the community will judge for this, as it’s often something we want kept in our community but there’s no way to really reach to our OTD family. But Pearl…please know I may not be frum but I feel Hashem everyday, i don’t deny him i have found hashem in my own way and i know I’m not the only one. Maybe it means I will return someday?
❤️
As a Christian mum whose son left the Christian faith and can so understand and have compassion! May our Lord hear our prayers as we pray for our sons!!❤ I understand what she says, she wants him to WANT to Love the Lord!! That’s what I want for my son too!! To love the Lord himself!❤
What a beautiful sentiment! Thanks for sharing your precious thoughts and feelings in this comment. I'm not Jewish but I completely understand.
Do you think you would be accepted if you returned?
Absolutely one of the best interviews I have seen on RUclips. She is a delight 😊❤🙏🤗
Well done.
Lovely, respectful interview with an open, lovely lady. Thank you
I am a breast cancer survivor, nearly six years post mastectomy. Emotionally, losing my hair was the hardest part of my treatment. However, had it been done in a calming, quasi-ritual experience with love between mother and daughter, it would have been a much less traumatic experience. I kind of tried to look at it as an Orthodox woman beginning a beautiful new phase in her life, in the sense that I tried to look at it as the beginning of a new phase in my life as a woman fighting to become well. Unfortunately, my mother caught a cold and couldn’t be around me because I had already started chemo and I had to be so careful not to get sick. Instead, my in-laws shaved it, and didn’t really give me the opportunity to look at it as a step from one phase to another, from sickness to wellness. Rather, they just kept trying to make jokes and be silly about it. Nothing was going to make that situation fun or funny for me. Introspective and in a way, positive, yes. Instead it was completely traumatic. Of course my sweet in-laws were only trying to make me feel better, and I was not angry. It was just sad and traumatized. Thankfully, although my treatment was hard, and involved lots of bumps in the road, my breast cancer is in remission, and my hair grew back. Thank you Pearl! ❤️
So glad you are better now. I admire your strength.
I didn’t find losing my hair to my cancer treatment to be traumatic, but I did find wearing a wig to be very uncomfortable and not something I wanted to do on a regular basis.
I just stumbled upon your channel today, and I'm so glad I did! This interview was phenomenal 👏🏼
As someone who grew up with a Satmar background, I absolutely loved how eloquently Pearl describes our lifestyle. She has a passion and contentedness for yiddishkeit that is contagious! What a wonderful ambassador for our way of life.
And her attitude/mindset regarding her son, as well as all kids struggling with their yiddishkeit, is so heartwarming. It made me tear up, seeing how she approached it with love and acceptance rather than shame or anger.
Overall, this video deserves a standing ovation 🙌🏼
Me too, my eyes filled with tears listening to this grandmother. This interview was truly fascinating and amazing. I'm not Jewish but I was totally swept off my feet listening to both women.
Very informative, warm, and common sense-filled. Thank you so much!😊
I learned so much from Pearl. Through understanding comes respect. Thank you, Freida, for sharing this important interview with us.
It took me a while to be able to watch these videos, because I was afraid I would hear the same painful rhetoric I've heard so many times as an OTD person. But Pearl is amazing. Thanks for doing this series, Frieda 💜💜
Except for the bit about "don't confuse me with the facts" - my mother used that on me to say that I was refusing to listen to fact, when she just had a very different definition of fact.
Ha ha, thanks Dainy.
I had that same impression, too, Dainy: That Pearl’s definition of ‘fact’ is different from the factual definition of the word “fact.” 😂 In other words, I’ve a hunch her “facts” are predicated on her beliefs rather than any empirical proofs. So whereas Pearl is starting from a place of “The Torah is the truth” - others approach it as “Let’s see what the Torah offers that would enrich my life.”
Similarly, methinks the way Pearl uses the word “educate” is broader: not just to learn, but to study, accept and believe.
Pearl make a fair point that many don’t have open minds, and are unwilling to educate themselves. I would offer that some others may be more willing to engage in critical analysis of what they’re being offered as fact, best practices, beneficial, or what constitutes the will of Hashem.
Let’s take female head shaving as an example (which Pearl euphamizes as “cutting of the hair”). It’s tradition, but not a directive in the Torah. That tradition may have originated in support of the commandment to be faithful and in support of one’s vow to Hashem, i.e. to protect a Jewish wife from being involuntarily “taken” by another man in an era where that was commonplace. Someone engaging in faith-driven critical analysis today might ask, “If the Torah says I’ve been created in His image and to provide companionship for a male, then absent any compelling reason to the contrary, isn’t it a transgression to alter what Hashem created to be pleasing to my husband?”
Understandably, to avoid seeming to challenge Pearl, Freida didn’t provide some of her own factual counterpoint to Pearl’s perspectives - such as the story of her friend with beautiful long golden locks who wanted to keep her hair after marriage - and who locked herself in the bathroom the day her mother arrived to shave her head, and was traumatized after relenting. That’s an instance of a woman raised her whole life among the Satmar who “knew what was coming” but for whom it absolutely WAS a big deal.
Who’s to say that Freida’s friend isn’t more inherently devout for instinctively wanting to retain that which Hashem endowed her with? Likewise, if Hashem saw fit to create someone with fainting hair, how do we not know that it was His will that the person learn to accept her hair?
Pearl touched upon women wearing headscarves vs. sheitel as being “more pious” because the Torah implies (not directs) that married women should cover their hair. Except that there’s no way to know whether the scarf is a reflection of a woman’s piety - or of her fear of retribution from non-conformity - or even of poverty (since sheitel are expensive). And this is where critical reasoning hasn’t been employed in favor of reinforcing how the community chooses to interpret what scarf wearing (and head shaving) represent.
I’m putting these thoughts here - as a reply instead of as a direct comment - because I want everyone’s love and appreciation for Pearl (which I share) to remain forefront. I am happy for Pearl’s blessings - her joy in her life - her certainty in her beliefs - her feeling of belonging and fulfillment in her community. She deserves this and so much more. 💙🌟🕍
@@dainybernstein4751 Or you might have been at a stage of refusing to accept because you had already determined your future steps, or were hurting too much to hear anything clearly.
@@momfrombrooklynDainy was starting to use her intelligence to consider the truths and facts . She was smart enough to assess what really was so and what were just past traditions and their relevance to modern reality .
It was a wonderful eye-opener against all the wrong propaganda in films and books made against the haredi society. The interview by Frieda Vizel was held in a delicate professional way and Pearl could open up and explain her way of life openly. Thank you so much!
Thank you for this interview. It has helped me to understand how to go forward with my child.💙
I am a Christian and I like how Pearl speaks about the Thorah and Shabbat. God wants our heart and made us a gift with his word and Shabbat.
Pearl, I hear your heartache. All believing mothers cry out to Hashem to save their children from this world. I know I do. Prayers for you and your family.
Aunts too!!
Thank you for such wonderful sensitive & educational video. Pearl is an amazing woman & shows her deep love of her faith & family.
I have loved watching all of these interviews. Thank you so much for making this happen tzadika.
You both were amazing. Listening to Pearl helped me brush up on my Yiddish. Does she realize what a hit she has been? Waiting for Part 3, please!!!
I don't get how shaving your head, is a good thing for a woman.
@@littleme3597 - If it is part of her faith & doesn’t lead to any feelings of disempowerment - & it couldn’t be more obvious how empowered of a woman Pearl is - then I don’t think it falls in that same category. Making me very hard for us to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and see it from their perspective, but I think that’s what’s necessary here, imo.
Frieda, you and Pearl are a blessing. Not only to Orthodox Judaism, but to humanity. Thank you both, lovely women.
This is such a beautiful and candid video. I give both women a lot of credit for sharing sooooo much! thank you!
What a wonderful mother and woman. So glad I was able to learn about Pearl on this channel. Thank you both.
Frieda, Pearl's reflections of her son going OTD is so heartfelt, raw, and honest. I so appreciate how she sees beyond the.break from Satmar and loves her son for who he is.
As someone who has went on Freida’s tour and whose family has lived in Williamsburg as Viznitz Chassidishe, she is doing such a Kiddush HaShem with her tours and videos. Exposing our history and culture in a positive way אור לגוים. A message for Pearl, I was once OTD for many years. Your son will never forget who he is, he will teshuva. We all have our path to HaShem. The meaning of ישראל when you break it down, means to “struggle with G-d”, but also “triumphant with G-d”. Yaakov’s wrestling with the Maloch was symbolism of how klal Yisroel struggling not only as a nation, but on an individual level. He has to struggle spiritually in order to be triumphant. אים ירצה ה׳
That is very good of you to say the road ahead will probably lead to teshuvah for Yoely. We all hope so.
Wow so beautifully said
I just discovered your channel yesterday and I love it so much. I love learning about all this. Pearl is a true gem and I thank her for opening her home and heart. ❤️
Watching this from Brazil. Im a catholic, and Ive been so deeply touched by this conversation. Thank you for this vídeo!!
I'm a Reform Jewish woman. I love you and Pearl . Thank you both for teaching me, and enriching my own Jewish journey.