'The Get' | what happened when I left Hasidic Judaism
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- Опубликовано: 28 июл 2024
- The name in this essay has been changed.
This is a reading of a very personal essay that I wrote in 2010, shortly after leaving the Hasidic community. It does NOT reflect my life today, and how I feel now. Many years have gone by, and many old wounds have healed. But the essay remains a time capsule of those hard times as I transitioned onto a different path. I read it for the camera when we had a camera set up in our home for a different project, and I found the experience of reading out loud those raw, heartbroken moments to be deeply moving.
Please be gentle. I've been agonizing over whether I should publish this as it's extremely personal and would appreciate your kindness.
Frieda, this was absolutley one of the most poignant and moving videos I have ever seen. You were able to convey such pain, strength, vulnerability and hope all at the same time. Please know this really touched my heart and I know a lot of people like me will relate deeply... you are truly helping to make a community that seems so foreign to most people relatable through your work and your words here in this essay. Thank you!!
I can't agree more.
I know the pain is real. I, too, had a divorce 😢
Thank you for sharing such a personal aspect of your life in such a beautiful monologue. You are a brave and courageous woman, following your life’s journey on your own terms. Mazel Tov Frieda .
Frieda, your essay and presentation touched my heart. So heartfelt and honest. Shalom.❤
🩵💙🌳🌳🌈🔆😇@@karajarvis2254
🩵💙🌳🌳🌈🔆😇@@karenoquinn4702
Frieda, your words have touched me so deeply. I'm sitting here in bed, on the other side of the world in Australia, coffee in hand before the work day begins and suddenly i have tears, silent tears trickling down my face and without realising it, i am holding my breath, transfixed by your words. This was simply so beautiful - i thank you for sharing.
I'm in Australia also and this gabbed my heart also
So beautifully relayed. The line about the Rabbi and his "acknowledgement of my presence" being seen as an act of kindness speaks volumes.
Your honesty and without putting anyone down is on another level. You're so genuine. I wish for you to find your place and be happy.
Thank you. Amen.🙏
Dear Dear Frieda, I was moved the first time you posted this. I am so happy you are sharing this to the wider group as well. You, my dear, are a writer. A beautiful writer. I can feel every second of this.
Frieda, I went through the GET experience many years ago, and even though I’ve moved on just like you did, your essay put me right back into the dreary basement room where the “ceremony “ took place and I got the chills. You’re smart, strong and beautiful and I wait for your videos every week. Love your courage. Hinda
As a Hasidic husband myself, I understand more than others what you went through.
חזק ואמץ! ס׳וועט נאך קומען גוטע צייטן.
איר זענט א הייליגע און לויטערע נשמה.
Beauty from ashes.
❤
❤💯%
💯!! Very touching to hear you say that!
Oy vey do you look at ALL as pure and holy souls, … ???
This made me cry. People really don't understand the pain. Not all marriages end in misery of abuse like the media wants you to believe. Some end in the misery of abandonment filled with love. So much love to you sister.
Remarkable, Frieda…I cried…and I was comforted
Thank you so much John.
🩵💙🌳🌈🔆😇🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵💙🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵@@FriedaVizelBrooklyn 💙💙💙
I'm moved by how poetically and vividly you describe your pain and sadness, and even more so that you do this without rancor or animosity. It shows your goodness, and is an example to me.
Unreal 💔😪 going through this struggle in my hasidic marriage right now, too.
It's scary how the feelings are so well expressed.
It felt like this presentation was a personal gift.
How are all of you Hasidic Jewish ppl seeing and responding to this? I thought you were not supposed to have access to the internet?
I am honored that you chose to share something so personal with me and the others on this channel who follow you. Your kind and endearing spirit are what keep me looking forward to each and every time you post. Thank you for sharing. Peace, happiness and blessings to you.
I am divorced, too, and I have carried the guilt of the divorce for almost 40 years. I have since remained, and I am happy. I'm Jewish, so the guilt is real. I applaud your honesty and fragility. I don't know any Hassidics, but I know how a cloistered community can be.
Im not jewish but i had the same feelings when my husband divorced me. I wasnt told about the court date. I just received a document in the mail. I can still feel the emptyness and hear the silence that enveloped me. That was 30 years ago.
@katherinemcmahon509 Did you not have warning? I hope things worked out well for you.
That is how I felt the day my husband left.
What country do you live in? Certainly not the US.
Yes. Same.
@@patarcher1813I'm in the US and that is how it works in my state. With no-fault divorce, if you are not the person who files, you don't know anything until you get a letter saying you are divorced. It's not even a copy of the official court document. I had to pay to get a copy of that.
Oh heck - that was truly heartbreaking 💔. Your bravery in presenting this to the outside world is immense. Much love from an English Christian 💕💕
So heartbreaking, so
powerful. You express yourself beautifully.
"The same heart..." this was deeply moving and meaningful to share. It is received with respect and compassion!
That was deeply moving and brought me to tears. I really felt it. I hope your life now is filled with joy, beauty, and lots of love.
Thank you ❤️🌹
Oh sweet, Frieda! My heart breaks for you. I have felt your pain. I understand. How beautifully you presented your feelings. ❤️🙏🏻😢
There is something universal in your sentiments. The loss, the fear, the sadness, yet perhaps the relief. How frightening and profoundly sad it is when we become a stranger to someone. Beautifully written.
"They don't know how far I've come with your support, only to come too far."
So beautiful and so gut-wrenching to hear. It's clear that your son's father is a good person who helped you to flourish and supported you as far as he felt he could. To leave such a sheltered community for the complete unknown just isn't an option for everybody - not everyone can go on that journey knowing it's taking them away from the only way of life they've known. It sounds like you've made peace with that and built a new relationship with the community which is much healthier and more rewarding.
There are instances when words fall short, sending a virtual hug..
The raw emotion and gut level honesty is remarkable. What strength you have. May you continue to rebuild your life even as you poignantly share your story. All good wishes to you.
How could we be anything *but* gentle? This is stunningly beautiful and I think you for sharing it.
He must have been a fool!
Seriously, you need that simple typo explained? I thank (😊) it wasted both our time, lol, but then again I didn't need to answer so that's on me.@@rileyfox4001
No he wasnt. She decided to change the course of her life and no longer be religious. He does not have to hop on a ride away from his faith...
@@anonymousanonymous-qx7mv🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I heard your pain, I felt it, and I cried. You are valued and appreciated. ❤
Thank you ❤️
U are a woman with deep core values and sensitivity. The way u expressed the happenings to you during the divorce echoes many other women who have been thru it also no matter what background. U gave them a voice and expressed so poignantly what they physically and emotionally went thru. Thank you . 😢
What a stunning piece of writing. So brilliantly sharing the intimate alienation of a painful, powerful moment in your past. I'm sure that it remains not just in the past but in the fabric of 'you'.
Freida, you are dazzlingly intelligent but have a wonderful gift of emotional intelligence too.
Thank you for sharing, universally, for all of us stubborn but not bullish souls who feel it all but have to do it anyway.
❤
That was so very beautiful. You have honored the world by sharing it. Thank you.
My heart broke with yours Frieda. You're such a strong woman. I applaud your courage in taking such a difficult step alone, and thank you so much for sharing it with us. I pray that love has or will find you again xx
Thank you for sharing this painful and intimate moment with us. And in a manner that is very you - I remember you saying you always liked writing and poetry as a child and teenager.
Your words left me breathless. Thank you for sharing.
“I’m not alone…”
You’re right Frieda, and you never will be…much love to you and thank you for sharing such a raw time in your life with all of us. Shalom 🕊️🤍
Frieda, you’ve touched my heart and brought me with you during such a painful time. Go in peace. Find happiness.
Ha ha, בני יואל had rebbetzin alte feige for years!
This is heartbreaking and beautiful. Thank you for sharing your soul.
Wow. That was powerful. I needed a few minutes of silence when the video ended to process it. It touched my soul. Thank you for sharing.
Your pain and aloneness came through the screen and left me teary eyed. It's the price you paid for not being able to conform to a path laid out before you. I think you have since grown and found satisfaction and happiness. I have enjoyed your pursuits on video. Much success and love to you in your life ahead.
Hugs! You are a strong woman, my dear. There are so many things we aren't sure we can endure without dying!!!! And you did, you survived, and endured, as painful as it was, and thrived.
You're an excellent writer.
I am not Jewish but this transcends that difference. Your words reach out to each person who has gone through a personal heartbreak of whatever nature. If I were with you in person I think the only response to this would be to sit in silence letting our hearts feel the hurt and the healing together.
@MrsBrunke You sound quite poetic yourself.
My Goodness, how this text pulls on the heart-strings... A spot-on rendition of the complex, confusing and conflicting feelings of knowing the time has come to part ways, when the heart is still unsure... It reminds me of Led Zeppelin's song, "Babe I'm gonna leave you"...😭
Your ability to capture emotions with your writing and sharing your life is a wonderful gift you have been given!
I was able to slip away from my Chassidic background because I was untethered, but in that lack of tethering, I was able to avoid, rather than face, my decisions. And while that spared me the immensity of feelings and sadness that you expressed here, it also robbed me of the courage and clarity of facing and expressing them. Thank you for sharing this.
That essay absolutely penetrated my heart. I’ve watched your videos with other folks who are OTD, like yourself but this is the first time I’ve ever heard something that captures the contemporaneous experience as one makes their exit. It’s so achingly human. Thank you for publishing something so personal.
Wow, Frieda...my eyes are filled with tears of understanding as you recited this profound, magnificent piece. I am filled with gratitude to have heard these words, coming from your beautiful, authentic heart. Thank you for being so courageous and for sharing your soul.
It's so moving how you could discribe your pain in such beautiful words. You have the spirit of a poet and a big heart ❤
That’s not an essay, it’s a poem. And it’s beautiful. ❤❤
This is so beautifully written and read ❤
OMG!! I just cried when I heard this. So vulnerable, so deeply painful and so overwhelming. Bless your strength.
Lovely, sweet Frieda, your essay is so authentic and beautiful. If i were Jewish, I would now be an old Bubby and I want to wrap you in my arms, ease this heartache and give you a little extra current that has ran throughout womanhood since our complicated beginning!❤❤❤ I'm so happy time has passed and the talented entrepreneurial life you have forged is proof of the strength the Rabbi knew God had given you. Even if he could not openly tell you so.❤❤❤❤✡️🕎
This is the most heartbreakingly beautiful piece. Frieda you have such a unique capacity to see life, Judaism, culture through all its facets.
This is astonishingly well crafted. Thank you so much for sharing. I hope you are able to share it with even wider audiences.
You brought me to tears, and I have nothing but love and respect and thanks for your stubbornness and your intelligence and your ability to write.
I applaud your bravery in posting this. It is difficult to share our most heart felt feelings with the public , and this is exactly what you did. I applaud you.
Absolutely beautiful essay! ❤ my heart breaks for the pain you went through and I’m so happy you found your way and are thriving. Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal story. It is truly compelling.
So sad, so beautiful, my heart is weeping for you.
❤️
I'm honored that you opened up to share this with us. It's so profound. thank you.
Thank you for this. You risking the vulnerability to share this essay is a gift for us.
This is so moving, so powerful, so poignant. Strenght and vulnerability into one. You are a very talented courageous woman. Thank you for sharing this with us. Sending hugs. 😢
Divorce is so heartbreaking no matter how it happens. Mine was fraught with so many court proceedings and was drawn out for years. But the death of a partnership and dream is always so painful. I have flourished and moved on, and it seems as though you and your son have done the same. Many prayers and blessings to you!! ❤
Frieda, thank you for sharing something so deeply personal. You are brave to share your story. You are brave to remain true to yourself. Thank you.
This essay is just as poignantly beautiful, thematically complex & thoughtfully laid out as I find ALL of your interviews and docu / stories. What a generous gift you have shared Frieda. Thank you
Thank you Judith 🙏
Frieda you have such a way with words, and none moreso than with this baring of your soul. I would enjoy hearing more personal essays in the future.
Wow Frieda, what beautiful yet heartbreaking words.
Oh Frieda, my heart aches for the pain you were feeling on this fateful day. Your prose is heartbreakingly beautiful You were brave beyond measure to take this journey. I so hope you have found peace and joy in your new life. You have more than earned it.
I almost feel ashamed to have such personal feelings given to me! it does give me a window into your life. you tugged at my Heart Strings today, The loss of a Child is very Painful and a lifelong struggle, grieving for a child is forever. Thank you for helping me know you!
Oh my word. Poignant and tragic and beautiful.
Oh Frieda! I can only imagine how hard it was for you to speak this all in front of the camera, sharing, and baring your feelings to help us understand the depth of what you went through. You are brave, kind, gentle, and brilliant. Many others here have expressed more eloquently than I can how you have touched our souls today and how much we appreciate you and your channel. Thank you for your willingness to share all aspects of Hasidic life with us. You are a blessing to us and a real Mentsch. I know what it’s like to be stubborn, too, and leave behind family, friends, and religion. Now here I am all these years later converting to Judaism. Thank you again, dearFrieda. 💖🇮🇱❤️🩹
Thank you for your generosity of spirit. Your truth frees my heart. Incredible writing. I feel blessed to have found this.
Gosh, this was powerful. I'm in awe of your honesty and ability to put words to those feelings. I got married and divorced young as well and I don't think I've ever acknowledged the emotions as clearly as you did here.
You just left me with my eyes full of tears, you are a great and strong woman, I admired you! Hugs
That was beautiful Frieda! You are very brave for sharing such a personal piece.
Would love to listen to any other of your essays in the future!
😢 heartbreaking! Thanks for sharing such an intimate moment. It is as sad as poetically beautiful. You are an amazing person! Thanks for this beautiful channel!!
Unbelievably moving. I admire your courage, your honesty with yourself and others, and your deep thinking.
This essay and you reading it out loud was so touching, so moving and so heartfelt. I'm lost for words.
Dearest Frieda What you're saying and in the way you're saying it is heartbreaking, heartwrenching, beautiful and so full of feelings and pain. Tears welled in my eyes as I listened to you read your essay. You're an amazing person. I've seen so many of your videos, and I love them all.
Thank you for this video, The Get, where you bear your heart, which resonates with me.
For a different reason, I've been there.
I feel sad for both you and your ex-hubby. When couples grow apart, it doesn't make one person right or one person wrong but it does cause such sadness in both people in dealing with the changes. I hope both of you have been able to heal and have happy lives.
This has broken my heart and made things in my life clearer to me. Thank you for sharing this with us.
beautifully written, beautifully delivered, eloquent, poignant, and touching❤ thank you for sharing.
Thanks for listening
Dear dear Frieda, you have expressed so beautifully the heartache many of us have felt in having to leave someone deeply loved and cherished because of the comfort that was once enough but no longer is enough. I express it poorly but you have expressed it poignantly and honestly. I am truly sorry our had to experience the pain of the end of your marriage. The Hasidic traditions you share with us truly speak to human experience so very deeply. ❤
Frieda what a beautiful video! You are a fantastic woman.
You are so strong. Sending much love and hugs for you.
Words cannot adequately express my amazement and tears for you for your vulnerability, openness, and courage. You expressed pure humanity and interconnectedness of humans. I can feel your ambivalence, sadness, and determination.
Thank you for this gift you have given to all of us, in your own voice, from your own memories, and from the deep places of your heart and soul.
Wow!!!! Can I cry!!! I can relate with my own divorce as a Christian.
Dear Frieda, thank you so much for sharing this intimate, powerful and heartbreaking glimpse into this most seminal moment in your life. You have such a beautiful way with words. You describe even the emotionally painful, jarring moments and the finality of the ‘Get’ so poetically, and with such dignity. Thank you again for sharing yourself at your most vulnerable and at this moment of aloneness and exile. Regards, Mary x
So powerful. I like that you were able to be vulnerable and respectful at the same time.
😭 this was so intense... I could picture the whole scene in my mind... very emotional and at the same time so powerful!!
thank you ❤️
It is so moving. I am, we are, honoured that you shared it with us, so that we understand wtih more than just our mind, but also our souls and hearts. Thank you. xxx
Thank you Anne, so much
I felt such anguish for you while watching this video. I have no words except I send peace and love and admiration and hugs. What a strong woman you are!
Heart breaking ❤
I am so moved by this Frieda. How tough that was for you and how brave you were. I really feel your pain and sense of loss. Thank you so much for sharing something so intimate but difficult with us xx
So proud of your bravery in sharing this personal essay. As a fellow writer, I know the strength it takes to let your most personal, emotional moments out there for the world to see. Thank you for allowing us to be in that moment with you.
Very emotional and powerful. Amazing
Thank you for being so brave to share this with us. I’m so touched by your honesty and willingness to open up about your former life. Much love
That was beautiful, thank you for expressing it in such a way. I think any divorce is a rending (speaking from experience) that it takes a very long time to get past and move on with any kind of sense of normalcy or goodness, but I had the support of my family and even his father I had to push away to support his son instead because we were very close. I cannot imagine the strength and love for yourself and your son it took to leave. I admire and respect you so much.
Thank you for sharing your most vulnerable moment with us. This was stunningly beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time
you are an absolutely genius writer. Truly the emotions in the piece made it so startlingly clear, I felt I was there with you in the room as you spoke to the rabbi, to your former husband, as you watched what went down. I cried.
Lovely. Very discriptive and sad, yet hopeful.
I cried through this whole video
Frieda, that was so touching and sad and beautiful. I had tears in my eyes. I am really sorry for the pain you went through. You seem like a very special person and that you had a very special relationship in your marriage. It must have been so deeply hurtful that it came to an end because of differences in levels of religiosity - differences that can and should be worked through, or respected and accepted. I hope you have healed from this pain, and can go on to live a happy and meaningful life, without allowing this pain and hurt to inform your choices. Lots of love.
Oh Frieda. How beautiful and how sad.
Two things can be true at the same time. Thank you for sharing your two truths with me, with us. Keep writing, I know you have. Your words are heart felt, heart shared.