ULTRA ORTHODOX: This Hasidic Jewish Woman Reveals The Hidden Horrors
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- Опубликовано: 14 июн 2024
- Ex-Orthodox Hasidic Jewish woman Emily Green reveals the truth about the horrors of her ultra orthodox jewish wedding, as well as her new life in the secular world and almost losing her kids to the Orthodox community. It's like the Netflix series Unorthodox or famous ex-Hasidic Jews Shloime Zionce and Lev Tahor (from the Lev Tahor documentary). This is like a look inside the home of an orthodox jewish family - hanging with the hasidics.
Watch my new episode with Chavie Weisberger, who had a similar experience in New York: • ULTRA ORTHODOX: An Ext...
She explains what it was like growing up in the Hasidic community, a branch of the Jewish Orthodox group. Having broken out of the cult, she talks of the difficulties she had taking her children with her and compares it to the struggles of the protagonist in Netflix's Unorthodox.
#unorthodox #hasidic #judaism 
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Did you know much about the orthodox Jewish community? Does any of this ring true for other cults? Let me know below.
Thank you Andrew! Sorry missed live ! Kids not back untill next week, I do oppoligse sir ✌🏻
I was a nurse in maternity ward. Orthodox Jewish woman was our patient several times. She had 9 children and very poor health where each pregnancy was risk for her and baby's life but contraception was out of question. I learned bits about the culture taking care of her. 👉💜👈
@@vesnaya999 you do know that woukd be a private sector ! Same as the emergency services for Jewish people!! They solely volunteer 🚑 etc ! Trust .
@@vesnaya999 Ah that is fascinating!!
Cult? You have got to be kidding me. 👌 😆
I was a Jehovah’s Witness and we felt the same about being the chosen ones. So many same restrictions, but also in different ways, as well. I left and it was so hard because you were alone.,, away from your community. I lost my hair from stress! I am proud of this woman and her choice to leave. God bless her.
thank you cindy!
Cindy, just curious (and you don’t have to answer of course) but why did you join? What drew you in?
@Cindy Marie, there isn't any rigid mandate to shun "bad Jews" the way there is with Jehovah's Witnesses. Some Jewish people will shun their family members when they don't behave, but there are many who don't. In my family there are Conservative and Orthodox Jews. I'm an atheist. We all hang out, go to restaurants, celebrate holidays together etc. I think religion is craziness personally.
You're very strong Cindy and dont ever feel alone when you have wi-fi. 😉
Me too Cindy, I was jw and lost my hair through the emotional stress they put you through. I'm glad you're researching other cults and hope you are happy now xxx
OMG, having periods is bad enough, but being forcibly examined after every one is just horrifying!! 🤬
Eugh awful, imagine that!
Yes it is awful, if it actually happened. Which is doesn't. There are certain circumstances where according to religious law, Rabbi or female religious legal expert needs to rule whether the couple can be together. This is a complicated legal issue and doesn't happen on a monthly basis, as the video falsely implies. Judaism has a very complex legal system and it's easy to cherry pick and exaggerate one law out of 613 and wave it around as a banner of sexism.
@@spk2008 It's so disgusting and perverse. Why all these obsessions with sexuality? Complicated legal issues to make peeking legal? Sorry, I have no patience for this.
@@spk2008 do you mean rules? You can’t go to prison. It’s not like breaking a law and getting arrested.
It's not exactly true. Women attendants at our mikveh aren't watching us as we enter. Once we are immersed in the water she watches so we know we immersed completely. The situations described are part of the most extreme of the community.
I’m a Jew who was raised by an Orthodox father, and a reformed mother. My father didn’t enforce his religious upbringing on his children…because my mother opposed the orthodox lifestyle; but I was still raised to be proud of my heritage. I believe that the biggest challenge for the survival of the Jewish community (at large) is the discrimination and segregation between denominations. I’m not a practicing religious Jew; but I’m viewed as inferior…even though my ethic and ancestral identification is just as strong as all other Jews. 🤷🏻♀️
In the mid seventies just before I met my husband I dated a boy from a very orthodox Jewish family in London. He was going through a rebellious stage at the time, he cut himself off completely from his religion, ate bacon, uncovered his head every time he left the house and dated non-Jewish girls. I met his family and I did not expect to be welcomed by them as I am not religious but they were lovely to me and made me very welcome. He would like to have got married but even if I had loved him which I did not, he could have gone back to his roots at any time and I did not feel I could cope with that. His brother had seven children and the women wore wigs and I could not see that life for me at all.
I’m a muslim guy, no idea how the vid got in my feed but watched till the end. Reminds me much of the early muslim communities in England trying very hard to hold onto tradition and culture not realising that there is a middle way. This resulted in a backlash, an identity crisis that the community had no idea how to deal with. But now into the 2nd and 3rd generations there appears to be a balance. You can be religious, keep your culture AND live in the modern world with dignity and respect. I hope the lady keeps her Jewish faith.
thanks d c! hope you like the channel!
My brother's best friend is Sikh and had an arranged marriage with a girl from his grandparents village, which he fought tooth and nail to avoid. One thing is they don't have the religious demand that orthadox Judaism has that couples have sex immediately on the wedding night. They got to know each other a bit first, so there's not this institutional "rape". It stems from the origin of biblical marriage which simply involved a male taking a woman into his tent. They raised 2 kids and divorced when the eldest was 16. However his ex wife found a Facebook post of her daughter with a boyfriend, a boy in her class. She locked the daughter in her room for a week, took away her phone and beat her as did her brother. My brother's best friend got the police involved and emergency custody order. She's living happily with her dad now who says his kids will never have arranged marriages.
@@annabizaro-doo-dah such rubbish that a woman is forced to have sex on the first night, there is no law to suggest this. Perhaps there is the pressure to perform but that's about it.
@@petrova553 well, the law is that the married couple should consumate their marriage, if not the marriage is not considered valid. The pair cannot stay together in the same house, let alone in the same room if they did not consumate the marriage immediately. The pair would have to seperate and chaperoned, as long as they haven't consumated. This is practised by many in the orthodox jewish faith. Of course they are differences depending on how strict the community is.
I'm Jewish (not orthodox) and left my family traditions and am expereincing the same kind of isolation Emily has. It's so nice to hear I'm not alone in this.
Ah thanks Adrienne, so glad it resonated !
Stay strong on your journey.💚
Similar, I used to be Muslim but ended up leaving due to the queerphobia in my community. I have since come to peace with Islam and Allah, but it’s still not for me. So now I have to find a new community to be a part of.
The show is a smear, as is this video. I am not Heredi or even Orthodox, I simply know what I'm talking about.
I'm not Orthodox either. I've always felt they way they run Services, Sunday School and just Temple, make kids hate going to Temple. There's something wrong with so many FEELING Jewish, even liking some traditions, but hate going to services. This applies to the Reform and Conservative and then the Orthodox and Hasidic are forced.
She is so lovely! I’m so happy you shared her testimony with us. She exudes strength and tenacity. I cannot imagine having 5 children at 29. I had my first at 35 and even that’s been a challenge. Truly and inspiration!
I watched Orthodox and cried. I watched this interview and felt inspired. Inspired by her experience, intellect and resilience. How determined and independent she is to have fought for herself and her children. Truly inspirational
I wonder what you cry about? Because many things have been completely misrepresented?
@@Barbara-bl7xv Ms. Connolly obviously doesn't like Jews.
I grew up in a cult - a Christian one. We were told that we were "set apart" and that we shouldn't "be of the World." We had food laws, and couldn't celebrate Christmas or Easter. I told my friends that we were pseudo-Jews because we kept the Old Testament holy days. But I didn't fit in anywhere. I grew up an outsider. I left that cult in my early twenties, but it still colors my life to some degree forty years later.
Jehovahs witnesses?
What you should do is "accept Jesus Christ as your Lord & Saviour" and repent of the sin of the cult that you got involved in and you will be "free"
No more bondage tying to you to the cult.
And read the Bible, the New Testament.
Hope that helps
God bless you
All you Jewish peoples should know that whatever you try to practice will NEVER give you freedom!
ONLY Jesus Christ gives everyone freedom from everything.
Not your laws and regulations or whatever you claim as spiritual. NOTHING BUT JESUS, THE MESSIAH.
ALL Glory and Praise to God the Father!
Jehovah witnesses & Mormons/LDS are ALL cults - they have rules/laws that you have to practice and that keeps you in bondage/slavery, yuck, yuck...I would rather "Worship God in Spirit and Truth" than following a "bunch of man-made rules" that in the End got you into the pit of h...
I am a Christian and I'm on team Jesus!
Halleluia
I Love Jesus and I am free indeed!
I attend church every Sundays But I DON'T follow the "religious rules" of my church because the "majority" of our church members that follow them rules are just a bunch of "religious freaks".
I watched Unorthodox on Netflix out of curiosity, because I knew absolutely nothing about this community, ended up binge-watching the entire thing, it was shocking, very interesting and infuriating at the same time. I cried along with Esty when they shaved her head after she got married. Thank you both for this interview, I am glad Emily is free)
Thank you Nadia!
Have you seen shtisel yet? If not I can highly recommend it. It’s set in Israel, about an orthodox family. It’s very moving but also very funny at times too
@@littlemy1773 I have) Found very interesting and informative, thank you!
So did I two years ago. I also found it shocking and very interesting. I have a question: Could the wig and the clothing that teenage Hasidic Jewish girls and Hasidic Jewish women wear be their hijab in a sense? 🤔
@@AdultThirdCultureKid1971 I don’t think so, for many women hijab is a choice, the same can’t be said about the girls in this community.
Cults, no matter the religion are still cults. So sad. Loved this guest. So insightful, authentic, and genuine.
Not a cult!!! It’s Judaism!!!
@@ridinwithjake absolutely a cult.
Politics/Government is a Cult
It's judisum to the extreme! There's no reason to have arranged marriage today. That's just a way of control. Making women clean out there vaginas and do what she described. That's an o.d custom fo when you lived in a desert. Which made something like that more important but, not needed now.
Organized religion by its nature are ALL cults
I am Ashkenazi by heritage, not practicing. A cousin of mine met and married a Hasidic Jew while at Yale. Well, he made her sleep on the floor when she had her monthly. They divorced. It’s lunacy.
Oh my word !!
This is far from standard Hasidic practice. There is abuse in all communities
@@AndrewGold1 Muslims do worst.
He made her sleep outside bed beacause of what he believes not because he wanted to abuse her. I know nothing about such customs, but I guess people often lack understanding for each other. I grow up in sort of isolated ethnic group myself, one can't help but develop different mindset over time. This is why I find stories like this interesting.
It's customary for husband and wife to not sleep together or even touch during that time in ultra Orthodox sects. However, they usually prepare for that by having two beds. No reason why he should have subjected her to that - no justifiable one at least
This breaks my heart. Part of the struggle is the suppression of information and education - and that seriously the ability to leave the community. So many women powerfultake their lives after leaving due to inability to flourish on the outside. These organisations like Footsteps etc. literally save and change lives.
It takes a seriously strong character and mentality to accomplish such a separation.
Congratulations.
Thanx to this woman for trying to be herself and to live a happy life. She is so inspiring.
Cults are dangerous. I think anything too strict or says, "We are the chosen is just a side eye to me". Is just something to side eye. It's ridiculous. I'm so happy that she talked about institutional rape. It's absolutely vile.
LGBT is also a scary cult ,many gay people feel alienated by the community for having any non liberal opinions
¨" When we jews gather we laugh at a story of Gods chosen people´' influencial jew, Harold Wallace Rosenthal
Great interview. Emily, was totally captivating... And kudos to you Andrew, for your empathetic listening skills and allowing Emily to express herself without being interrupted. Great Job!
Aw thank you mddc
The courage, mental fortitude and bravery of this woman and all others like her who are willing to undergo this arduous, torturous journey to freedom all on their own is something too big for me to comprehend! I am in awe! You go girl, you make us all proud as women, and as members of the human race. You are one in a million!
She is still white and jewish so yeah she living comfortably even in "discomfort "
I couldn’t agree more. ❤
💕💕💕
As Emily is talking, I'm reminded of the marriages of earlier centuries among the wealthy/noble families who arranged marriages to cement wealth, power, or political connections. There is really very little difference. The idea that religion is the core of Emily's life rather than family power is still a recognizable prison.
The majority of marriages used to be arranged in basically all cultures until recently.
The current style of marriage is very abnormal in human history, and the divorce rates confirm it.
The whole thing is a lie. I grew up in the Orthodox Community there's no arranged marriages. The courtship is short because we are dating to get married. We can take two or three at a time because we are focused.
@@cantorcarmen- what nonsense, man! I actually know Emily and the Gesher EU organisation. Of course there are arranged marriages and the horrors inside those communities are very real. Is it every ultra-orthodox community? Possibly not but it certainly goes on, a lot.
Yes, when I was having problems with my husband hitting me, yelling and making me feel little. I went to 'First Step' here in Michigan. It helped me some what but he was terrible. Very hard with a little boy. My baby cried. I was going crazy with all the worry. He tried to rape me as well, and he had girlfriend. So much happened to me. Thank you for speaking out and telling your story. 'THE CIRCLE OF VIOLANCE' If he calls just hang the phone up, don't talk to him. It gives him power over you. Change the locks on the doors, get your own bank account and cancel credit cards if you can. Happy New Year!
Do everything that is kind to yourself and your children first. Safety comes from a place of kindness and care for ourselves and our children.
Sometimes you have to leave and tell NO one where you are. Not even your family because some psycho men will badger your family and friends relentlessly until they spill the beans to your location.
You should interview former Amish. I see a lot of similarities between them and the Ultra Orthodox.
They even both speak varieties of German amongst themselves, which is super interesting.
Similar but different.
Here’s an extreme I still remember seeing. I was at a major water park with my family some 40+ years ago. People were all climbing the stairs with the park’s swim tubes heading for the water slides. I saw a man about 30. He was wearing a yalmuka and swim shorts. He was also wearing a swim mask which of course, nobody does at a swim park. He had aluminum foil covering the top part of the swim mask so that while facing erect he could only see people’s legs and the ground. I respectfully acknowledged that he was Jewish and inquired about the foil. He said that his Rabbi had told him it was ok to go to a water park as long as he could only see people’s legs and nothing higher since he was not supposed to be around women who were not his wife.
NoFirst Gonzalez
That guy was Lying!! No Rabbi in his right mind would say something as idiotic as that😂
Sounds like a decent Rabbai 😊
Well done to this woman for breaking the cycle for her children. The part where she's talking about having to hide the router just screams toxic relationship!
I think it's ok to hate the practices, not just in this culture but in many others, without hating the people themselves. You can see that if something has been done for generations in every family around you, then it must be very, very difficult to change or stop those practices - especially if it means leaving behind everything you've ever known to do so.
Thanks to having periods, women give life, these men make women feel ashamed for giving life. How absurd.
That's a matter of perception. In Biblical days, men who had an emission of semen had to go to the mikveh, too. Also, people who came into contact with a corpse had to go to the mikveh, so it wasn't just women considered impure. In the case of a woman who has had her period, it is considered similar to death because had the egg come into contact with sperm, it would have produced life. As for the separation the husband and wife have to go through, they are supposed to communicate with each other verbally, so they are not being "separated," per se. They just shouldn't overindulge in sex. I also think people should know that not everything that goes on in the Orthodox community is mandated by law. Some communities are very insular and have held onto customs their ancestors may have had before leaving their mother countries.
What’s quite interesting is that there appears to be a parallel across multiple cultures and religions of women being considered impure. While I don’t know the reason why for all of them, one idea of women being considered impure was the contamination of water from their period blood back in the day.
@@Neis999 No, it is spiritual impurity in Judaism. Not physical
Huge thank you to this brave woman for sharing her story. I hope that it helps others in similar situations. 🤗🇨🇦
I hope so too!
A very intelligent, well spoken woman. Excellent insight into her life and how it relates to the world.
Thanks Nancy I’m glad you enjoyed it. Hope you continue enjoying the channel
Unorthodox also made me realize I had more work to do on myself. In the end when Esther’s husband is crying to her begging her to come back I felt so sorry and was thinking how sweet it was and I would go back with him. Even though that meant her giving up all her freedom. Idk especially with just having come out of a very abusive relationship it really stuck with me that I had the wrong reaction just because a man was crying for me.
Same I pity him and I thought he should stay with her in Germany and live a more relaxed life with kindness, love and respect I didn’t think they should go back but to start a fresh without all those people/families opinions
@Shann Simms - It has been quite a while since I saw Unorthodox; but if I'm remembering correctly, Esther's husband was a meek man .. and I mean 'meek' in the way that he wasn't mean or controlling .. he was a gentle man. I also felt sorry for him because of that .. because she wasn't leaving an abusive husband, someone who acted like cave-man .. he was a kind soul. I thought if only they could just leave that community together and live somewhere away from the pressures of family and others. Maybe they could actually stay married and be happy together. I definitely felt sad for both of them, really.
@@purpleandred7but they didn't love eachother and hadn't chosen eachother, that's the point. She didn't want to stay in the community or the marriage!
@@powderandpaint14 I understand 👍
I think if any of us were told we should marry a man that we didn't find attractive or love we would say, no ofcourse not! So I don't think it's reasonable to expect her to stay in a marriage like that either.
I used to teach comparative religions in secondary schools, I had several friends who were non orthodox Jews and I thought I knew quite a bit about how it worked, I went to non Orthodox weddings, and new the periferal things like separating milk from meat. One of my friend's mothers had a cropped head and wore wigs, but when I asked my friend, she just said, "well it's traditional, but I'd never do it." This has opened my eyes. I've seen Hasiidic men, but never realised the strictures put on Orthodox women before. Thank you for educating me.
Nothing is put on them, they actually choose it! And there are way more strictures put on the men
She is so brave, full of life. Great interview.
This is informative for all cultures which function in this way. So much bravery on her end!
Wow, she was brave and so sweet and bright! Wishing her luck with everything. Her kids are very lucky to have her as their mum! x
Great interview, Andrew. And lots of thoughtful questions along the way...
Ah thanks T K. One of my early ones that, before my posh camera set up haha
being Jewish is really fascinating because although we all have this cultural/historical thread in common, depending on where we grew up and live now, our lives and connection to our Jewishness is completely different. My grandparents were Holocaust survivors, but they were also staunch communists so they were not practicing at all. So we as a family obviously have that strong mark of WWII trauma and everything it carries with it, and we have a strong connection to our identity as Jews, but absolutely none of the actual cultural, traditional and/or religious aspect.
My father and I tried to celebrate Hannukah last year because we finally got a menorah, and we had no idea what we were doing. he had to keep calling his friends at every step to ask what we were supposed to be doing 🤣So it was fascinating to hear Emily talk about her experience and I'm so so glad she managed to get out of it. It's really sad that there isn't more help and support for people in her position. Lots of love ❤
So, so sad. this is your multidimensional inheritance you should explore. Just, out of curiosity look for the Chanukkah articles. It`s such a big difference between (some) jewish religion practices and jewish spirituality..it is for the last one that I converted to Judaism.
kabbalahsecrets.com/the-ultimate-reality-behind-the-universe/
Good for you guys! Exploring your cultural and racial heritage is important for future generations
My parents were survivors.
As for Khanuka, the candles are put in a khanukia (holds 9 candles) vs a menorah (which holds 7 candles) ... my recommendation, get an electric khanukia (candles are a fire hazard) and avoid the fried foods (they clog the arteries and cause heart disease among other illnesses).
Stick with Genesis 1:29 and follow The Golden Rule to live long and prosper. Skip the dogma. Biz hundert aun tsvantsik!
@@lilianavois4391 Who are you to tell other people they "should explore" something? What is "spirituality" (other than a sort of woo)?
Chabad can show you how to observe holidays.
They are also very friendly, and they are not judgemental.
Funny thing she mentioned her dad said that she would end up in a mental institute if she lives on her own but for me it was because of me ending up in A mental institute that I finally got my freedom away from my controlling parents. 🤣 and I never even had to get married. 🥳🥳
Wow🤗
As an ex Catholic atheist, I'm so glad I woke up to the idiocy of religions. The 3 monotheistic religions came from ignorant desert tribes, from the middle east. Why r people still believing this stuff? Why do Muslims & Jews hate each other, when they have the same traditions in diet & mysogeny? Same with the Catholic Church. Not diet. But the mysogeny is still there. I know, as a 75 yr old woman. I threw off the shackles of religion over 30 yrs ago. So wish I'd seen the light yrs before. Been great since then. Brought my 2 children up as Catholic. Wish I hadn't, but they're both atheists now, so that's ok. No influence from me!!! Now have a 12 yr old granddaughter who treats religions like Aesop's fables. She understands they're there, but just fables from a long time ago in a distant land.
She’s AMAZING! Such courage and strength! ❤️🌹
I’m so glad you re-uploaded this video. Emily is a smart, beautiful and brave woman. If she chose another relationship, I’m sure there would be many good hearted men interested in her. I didn’t realise there was this “acidic” part of the Jewish community that even existed. It would be ridiculous to blame all the Jewish people because of this one faction, especially when you and Emily are personally speaking out against them. I’ll never understand parents arranging marriages and setting up their daughters to be raped. I’ll never understand parents depriving their children of education, or teaching them to be morally superior so they don’t socialise and learn from others and diversity. So it’s 2023 and we still have this going on? Is this religion or a cult Andrew?
i guess it's the culty side of religion?
I believe some religions do arranged marriages but take precautions beforehand to try to ensure the couple are suited for each other. These seem to be successful to a degree. But you will always fortunately have people like Emily who have strong will and a desire not to be 'contained' by a religious dogma that micro manages their lives.
In my experience, most women have been raped at least once. I can count on two hands the women I know who say they never had any sexual interaction they did not consent to.
"Institutionalized rape" is deep in human history and we still have a long road to growing out of this behavior.
Sadly that's very true. And it's far worse nowadays than ever before in history.
Add me to your never raped count.
Sadly, we will never know a world without rape and abuse, never.
@Laura Sweet Unfortunately you are correct and many, many women experience unwanted sexual encounters. Fortunately your estimate is high, "most women" have not been raped at least once (actual forced intercourse), but the numbers are far higher than they should be for that and all non-consensual sexual interactions and it really is a shame...
I found this interesting and am impressed with the strength of Emily Green. Having been raised with no required religious belief system, I am fascinated/horrified by the lengths people will go to in order to indoctrinate and control their own children.
Thank you! She’s amazing !!
I hope you're not suggesting atheists do not go to great "lengths to indoctrinate and control their own children". If you have atheist parents they would blow a gasket if you suggested there just might be a God...
@@sisterkerry There are atheist cults too. Look at the Bolsheviks. Although the cult doesn't tend to form around a belief (or lack) in atheism/religion.
@@AndrewGold1 there are cults in every -ism. And the current Official Religion is the -ism you are not allowed to criticize.
@@AndrewGold1 Bolsheviks were not a cult. They were a political movement led by Vladimir Lenin. In Russian, "Bolshevik" means "One of the majority". In 1917 they seized control and became the ruling political power. It was a time of great political and social turmoil in Russia, where many lines were hazy, but none of these Marxist political movements, factions or parties qualify as cults.
I love her, she is so smart and capable and full of life. Great interview.
What a lovely and courageous lady she is. I did watch Unorthodox and was appalled at what young women were expected to be and to do. God bless you both for such an intelligent and intimate video.
Yeah, I'm appalled by the movie too. Thankfully most of it is false and us chasidic woman are treated with the utmost respect. That was based on abusive behavior despite them being orthodox. That is not what being orthodox and chasidic is meant to be at all.
very interesting learning about real life experiences. thank you for the space and the respect that you show
This is a phenomenal interview. Thank you for sharing.
This is eye opening! Thank you kindly for sharing. What a lovely interview.
Glad you enjoyed it LML!
It's super impressive that she managed to study at university level in that environment. Great interview.
Thank you for sharing your story on its eye opening to find out that all of this is happening to women up to this day in age and it's sad but someone is speaking out and I'm sure it'll help others.
Andrew, another insightful video from you that will keep me tuning in for more.
I truly enjoyed this podcast. Thank you for showing it again. I was glued to the screen, and left my chores to another time. . 😅
I used to work in upstate New York appraising real estate. I was never allowed assignments in a certain town that was primarily hasidic jewish because as a woman, I would have been completely ignored in the town offices.
I’m Jewish and had to go to an extra curricular class to learn English in Manchester. I spoke Russian and Hebrew but no English.
This was an early one. What a wonderful woman. So glad for her. Sometimes your family is the one you have to make for yourself. 💁🏻♀️
That's right, you're one of the few who was there when it came out! It felt like such a nice interview that it was so sad it was buried beneath so many others. So...re-release! :D
@@AndrewGold1 good call!💁🏻♀️
I can’t imagine if I was a mom given away my precious girls, knowing what they will have to endure 😞, so sad
Horrible!
And Muslim women put their daughters through genital mutilation even though they know the pain and the consequences.
@@jbtpa895 this is not a religious practice, it is cultural. There are people of many faiths who practice this horrific ritual.
Education, for both men and women, is the key to stopping these practices. Many of these women believe that if their daughters are not cut, they will never find a husband and therefore live lonely miserable lives. On the flipside, many of the men believe that a woman is unclean if she has not undergone FGM. It is a very hard cycle to break, particularly as an individual.
Hopefully education within these communities will stop this practice for good, but blaming a particular religion is unhelpful and just spreads misinformation which is the opposite of what these people need.
There are a multitude of similarities with orthodox Jewish I like to call it wrongness. I was raised as a very conservative Christian. My mother, who had the nerve to date Black people, Spanish people and all those people beneath us as well to do white people that it carried on to me and my brother. We were taken from our mother at a very young age and were reminded every single day, every single holiday, every single birthday that we were unwanted, unloved, and being cared for because my grandparents had to, that adoption would be out of the question, and that both of us were awful evil horrible people NOT because we actually WERE, but because we were my mother's children. I had absolutely NO idea that people hugged their kids or told them they loved them. I had no idea that family was SUPPOSED to be supportive. I had no idea that I was worthy of love until I left them, sought out a real life, became an emancipated youth (back then it was called "divorcing your parents") and forged a very difficult life without anyone there for me. It took many years of therapy, proper psychological diagnosis, and finally finding the right medications that would help me realize I really was allowed to be happy even if I was a girl. I didn't have to like people. I didn't have to stay in the corner. I didn't have to be unseen and unheard and unhappy. That is when my whole life changed at the very young age of 53. It takes your life away as if suddenly the very truths you were taught, the very dogma that alienated me from ever being a human being with real thoughts real emotions real feelings. I am grateful every day that I have had had without my "family" who were never family at all.
Any cult or sect that seeks to repress in the way described is beyond the pale. Emily is so human, clever, fair and honest. This is a brilliant interview and is an inspiration for all those who are victims of similar experiences.
Amazing show!! So glad I found this channel.
My ex-husband was NYPD in predominantly run Hasidic Boro Park, Brooklyn and I taught HS within the same area. The 66pct had a patrol officer who would visit schools and discuss age appropriate information with the kids in schools. The CPOP officer was told that she was NOT allowed to discuss appropriate / inappropriate sexual touching in the Yeshivas. I think that is one of the biggest problems with insulated (no matter the insulated cult) societies: You're taught to fear the outsiders more than the insiders. Sadly, the "insiders" are the ones that need to be feared the most.
i.e. I was stopped at a red light and there were two 11-12yo boys waiting to cross the street. The boys' backs were to me as a bearded 20-30yo man was walking toward them and me. *I watched the oncoming man check the boys up and down (as the boys were busy in conversation and they weren't paying attention) , pass the boys and then turn around to check out the boys from behind!* I rolled down my window and told the boys to hurry home. I also told the creep that I saw what he did and he should be ashamed of himself. All three gave me the fearful look associated with my goy status and they continued on... Insulated communities breed generational abuse and the only ones harmed are the most vulnerable.
You are definitely a hero for calling him out ❤
What a brave human being. I’m so happy that I grew up in a secular home. I discover Judaism later but never become Orthodoxy. Shavua Tov from Poland.
enjoyed this interview!
Newbie here. Subscribed after watching you on Dr K podcast. I love listening to you! Already going down the videos you’ve posted and I’m finding them all very fascinating. Please keep up the great work!
Awesome! Thank you, that's so nice of you to say. Hope we keep on chatting here, Julie.
Such a BRILLIANT WOMAN !!!! So impressed of you telling things for what they are !
As non-Jewish person I just wanted to reassure those of you worried about antj-semitism from this video. This video was done really well and because it was presented by Jewish individuals actually does set a very different tone.I thought they made it very clear that this was her experience with the orthodox community she was in but obviously doesn't reflect all Jewish communities or people. It was a very informative and important video, thank you for doing it.
Thanks A A, great to know !!
You know what I don't need? I don't need to be gentile-splained at. I know what antisemitism is more than you can even possibly understand, because I am jewish and I have experienced an awful lot of it. So for once in the history of gentile-jew relations maybe you can listen instead of telling us what to think?
@@aick Someone reaching out to reassure us because of the comment sections. And you bite their hand off. Lovely.
@@AndrewGold1 Yeah I don't appreciate people who aren't jews telling me what antisemitism is. I'm not the nicest person and I've had it with the attacks and the letting things slide. Never Forget.
L'chaim.
@@aick I don't think that's very helpful. L'chaim.
Thank you for this wonderful interview
Look forward to seeing more of your early wirk
Really enjoyed listening to this - I'm glad you replayed it
Thanks for listening!!
Great interview. I escaped from Satmar and wish all the best to Emily.
Such a great interview! She is a very strong and wise woman. Thank you for sharing your story in such an authentic manner :-) I would be nice to have another interview with her and see how is she doing now!
Oh thank you so much lynda! It's one of my favourite ever interviews. I'm not sure she'd be up for that, because when this video originally went up, her family (From the other world...) sent me and her abusive letters to desist. It wasn't nice.
@@AndrewGold1 I am sorry to hear that Andrew :-( These people....Anyways, thank you for your interviews, I started with the one on scientology and it was super interesting!
Thank you lynda! Great to have you aboard!
@@AndrewGold1 don’t be afraid or they will win by bullying you into silence.
@@sarashepard7504 Thanks!
Thank you both for sharing!
Fascinating.Really good, Andrew. I did have trouble hearing what you were saying but I could hear the lady. Thank you.
We have a large Jewish community in our city. I remember a mother and father bringing their child to the hospital for a medical appointment. I was amazed that the very young, barely adult looking husband could speak nothing but Yiddish. His wife had to do the talking. Way to keep your kids away from bad influences - make sure they can't speak the language of the country.
I've seen these assholes watch their children die because they refused MEDICAL AID at that point yall just abusers
It is so important to gain a balanced perspective. I have a dear friend that is a convert and is now orthodox. She is absolutely thriving.
The grass is no greener in another yard. It is all your personal pespectve
Loving this content 💜 Will be back to watch with interest tomorrow ( when I should be studying )
This is studying! :D
Loved this episode!!
thanks robin!
I just found your channel & have subscribed. You have a terrific interview style; you allow your guest to speak. I’ve read your response about receiving harassment for this interview. I understand your reluctance to do a follow-up, but I’m hoping: are she & her children safe & well? I look forward to watching your programming. Thanks for shining light in the darkness! 🌹
Aw thank you sparky! I am trying to do something with survivors of Lev Tahor, so will keep you all posted
I was at this lake in New Jersey and I was about to go kayaking and an Orthodox family was walking nearby and the girl asks her father what it was and he said it was a canoe and I said it was a Kayak. They totally ignored me like I didn't exist. The whole family ignored me. Didn't even look at me.
I'm a hasidic woman and the lack of manners in my community, especially socially, annoys me to no end. I'm teaching my children that every person is worthy, jew or nonjew, and they all deserve the basic human respect of being acknowledged. I'm so sorry you experienced that, please know that we are not all like that
Great conversation with Emily. She is a strong, delightful woman. Her parents should have been on her side. I wish her and her children only the best in life
I have just come across this channel Andrew. This topic was very informative and interesting
thanks mareka!
I have a great deal of respect for this lady. I loved the bit regarding getting the internet so she could learn more about the world and then go on to doing an OU degree - amazing !
Great respect and admiration for this lady. May she and her children know peace, safety, health and happiness all their days and may she always be surrounded by people who love and support her. Blessings x
Great video! Loved hearing her speak 💖
As soon as she called the character Esty, I had a feeling this was about that series. I watched it a few months ago. And I understand a similar approach about the period and ritual cleansing etc, through Eastern culture and even in the West a couple of centuries ago.
Isn’t it heartbreaking that these poor Jewish women think that is love!
They never experience the stolen glances, the excitement of catching them looking at you, the excitement of that first impromptu conversation, the butterflies, the feeling of that first wanted kiss, the passionate intimacy, it has all been stolen from them, the men included, because they also are doing what they are told to do by men who did it to their wives….heartbreaking 💔
So true. The obsession with women's bodies, and 'impurity' could be classified as mental illness in an individual, but because it is a collective obsession, this is acceptable to many. All these insane religious groups are extremely damaging. The reality for men and women should be to grow up free from the obsessions of men who believe they are ultra-important, and to enjoy a happy, free childhood. They should enjoy the friendships, and innocent romances of teenage years. If they fall in love they should be able to be with each other, marry if they like. They should walk down the aisle happily in love. Children should be conceived in love. As a Midwife, reproduction itself is a gift from a Higher Power, and should never be made dirty by such ridiculous rules. A happy family life is the basis for a strong and healthy adult, and society in general. Men and women are equal in every possible way. Societies that do not allow or encourage women to contribute to the arts, business, health, science, research, government etc. are always going to be backward, because half of society is missing. Peace 💜
I was born Jewish but my grandparents left the sthetel and many of its ways. I was raised a reform Jew. I was horrified when I learned of these sects. Unorthodox was fascinating. I give to Footsteps because I am hoping more will be able to leave. Women are dirt with no rights in these sects and boys are kept dumb. They don,t want to talk to anyone outside the sect but they know how to apply for money from the outside world and pay off the politicians.
Emily is a brave heart woman ❤️
OOMMGGG......this is so full of baloney......this woman spins crazy ideas from practices that are holy and beautiful. She represents everything with complete dishonesty and lies. CRAZY!!!
Thank you to Emily for sharing this, very powerful. Thanks to you for shedding light
🙏🌑🌹
I can't even imagine.
thank you for sharing this.
You’re welcome !
As a kid in Brooklyn near me were a lot of Orthodox. Remember being dissuaded from playing with their kids. But when I witnessed the family's car stolen and told my parents who let them know. I was allowed to play with their kids again, just not go past the front door.
Now Unorthodox and the CBC Fifth Estate show opened my eyes as to the intense religious control and aversion to secular law enforcement and my experience as a kid makes more sense now.
Please don't let one sided Netflix shows color your view of a rich, diverse and beautiful culture. 💔
This is really great content!
I'd really like more interviews like this.
I am also curious to hear more about your own background and current spirituality.
Thank you! I’m Jewish and grew up learning Hebrew etc. but I don’t have any faith ! I love people from all backgrounds and beliefs though
@@AndrewGold1 Thank you! According to my mother Hebrew is really difficult to learn when it is not ones first language.
@@mailill correct!! although i only learned enough to read the symbols! my mum speaks it though
@@AndrewGold1 I find it a bit heartbreaking to read what you wrote: "but I don’t have any faith !". It is as if you get-down on those who have Emunah. Emunah is a word with a huge difference than "faith". Emunah is knowing your very existence each moment is supported by G-d, that G-d is there. The "pintele neshama" is there, you just have to find it. In your interview above - how YOU acted was superb in supporting Emily, who it seems also has very little Emunah. "Emunah" is NOT taught in most schools - but it is taught in Kiryat Arba - Hebron, as part of the kids' curriculum. I think each child can absorb if his 'religious' parents have Emunah or not, and it greatly effects that child.
I found it a strong thing for her to divorce her abusive husband; but it has nothing to do with her becoming irreligious; if she had Emunah she would have remained religious and divorced or could have remarried to someone kind. These are 2 separate things.
Another problem with airing interviews like this are the anti-Jewish-Jews and nonJews who glee at a 'haredi' going secular. There are even groups trying to drag religious Jews away from being religious. But maybe this is just a 'weeding-out' process before the Geula takes off - which will be real soon!
@@chayawitkin6374 i would love to believe in a god, as it must be reassuring. But I can't make myself believe in magic fairies unfortunately. I am pleased that it brings comfort to some people though!
This was a very good interview.
My heart aches for this beautiful lady.
I hope she realise how precious she is with or without the Jewish title.
God loves her just as she is
How do you know?
Sorry , but she is not beautiful
@@baronmeduse Why do you ask?
@@ellenvillian5790 Because it's claim she can't possibly substantiate.
As A Christian.. I know God loves me and all of us, Christian, Jew, Muslim, non-believer. All of us. It is up to us to do what we will with it.
Brave lady. Thank you for telling your story.
Amazing lady. I read the book Unorthodox first then saw the Netflix film. I cried for Etsy…she was so sweet.
Fascinating, thank you both.
Hi all
I’m a chassidic woman (with internet connection:-)). I do feel for Emily, this journey must have been very painful for her. It is however important to know that the spectrum within the ultraorthodox and within the chassidic community is huge. It’s not all black and white. For example I did grow up reading secular books. I like leading an ultraorthodox lifestyle and there are many benefits to it. Still I would never say our community is perfect, there are many problematic issues. This doesn’t mean that it’s all bad and it also doesn’t mean that I just have to quietly accept them. There have been minor changes towards the right direction and I’m hopeful that we’ll get there one day. Please just remember that we are no freaks, even if we might look and behave differently from you. We are people with emotions, hope, dreams and fears just like you.
For a deeper understanding check out peter santenellos channel, he has a series about chassidic Jews and their lifestyle.
Malky thank you for your beautiful and understanding message. I am sorry that I have contributed towards shining you guys in a bad light, and it does make sense to me that there is a spectrum. It sounds like you are happy with your life, and that it is very different to Emily’s. I wish you the best, and hope you continue to enjoy the channel. You might like the videos about other religions, like last night’s episode about Scientology or next week’s one about the Children of God cult. Much love, Andrew
Dear, so if i understand well Hassidic religion is different fm ultraorthodox ?
I don't know what to say other than I like your idea of sticking with what I know. It is very difficult to try and understand others and stand up for myself and specifically my thoughts, that is how I feel. Is this what you tried to explain or did I just read to much of myself into it?
It's cool you listened to this!
Is that why your kids dont go to regular schools? Y'all should be ashamed of the way yall treat Daughters of Eve, and NYC needs to stop coddling you.
Wow! I'm so sorry you went through that! I saw the movie called Orthodox, I think. I was appalled at the lack of sex education for both men & women! It sure did seem like rape! No foreplay, no emotional connection, no nothing, more like torture! No religion should be soooo afraid that their children will stay by being so oppressive!
No need for sex education nor forplay ,not everyone needs that
@@SRBOMBONICA86 I’m talking about what men need to know that women need to be turned on. Wham bam doesn’t cut it! We hav come a long way from the fifties!!
I'm chasidic, and men definitely learn about woman's needs and foreplay. It's just done in the weeks before the wedding and not in their early teens when it's not necessary yet
A great interview! I don't know much about Judaism and less about Orthodox communities. What she went through was horrendous and she seems to be a very strong, independent and critically thinking woman. Learned a lot - thanks! And her former community has a lot in common with JWs and Scientology (eg shunning, early marriage)
Thanks Michael! She's brilliant isn't she!
I knew this video was doing nothing but arousing hatred towards a religious community, but reading the comments has shocked me. I assure you, sir, you have learned what one disgruntled woman has to say about her upbringing. If you watch and listen to people who are balanced and happy with their lives as Orthodox Jews, then you could be said to have learned something.
@@sisterkerry if you heard anyone who is inside any cult they will also sound very happy. Besides that, nobody here if feeling any hatred, we feel sorry for people like you, not hatred.
@@fraufuchs9555 no one's looking for your pity 🙄
@@yochshap1 and no one is looking for what you have to say, so welcome to the club 😘
Excellent episode!!
thanks!
I am a VERY secular Jew but married orthodox. I had only once the Mikva experience just before I got married. As Emily says, you just go along with it. I found that one experience with a complete stranger observing me violating and awful. I can’t imagine having to do that every month!
Wow. I’m going to rewatch Unorthodox (which I always thought was incredible). I really felt like I had a better understanding of it means to be a woman in that community. This video has explained parts of it I didn’t understand.
Glad you enjoy and rewatch things that are incredibly inaccurate and which cause harm to our communities
As as Jew I feel that I can still have religion, and still have respect and reverence for Hashem, keeping in mind that we live in the modern world now, and that some practices need to adapt and evolve.
Perhaps separate man's laws from Ha Shem's holy Commandments!
Good work Andrew! 💪
Incredible story so honest. What a lovely lady. Excellent interview as well. Thank you