Very informative ! As a clinically diagnosed person with Asperger’s, I’ve come up against someone so incredibly accurate with your Narcissistic description and cannot understand how someone could be so manipulative, calculating, dishonest and almost evil. I can go from zero to 1000 rpm regarding emotions but have great empathy once I’ve calmed down ! Incredibly accurate video with well researched information, thank you !!
Autistic individuals actually have a great sense of empathy … like many other things empathy is broken down into sub categories - like you said they have trouble understanding aka cognitive empathy, however their AFFECTIVE empathy is very high and often overwhelming (affective based on instincts). They often have such big hearts but the way they express themselves is so off from neurotypicals that you can’t label it as the conventional term for that emotion . Sorry if I explained it bad this is just my point of view as well.
I'm autistic asperger with ADHD and highly sensitive and emotionally empathic, was raised by covert narcissistic parents and opened my eyes on the truth in my 30's.... Since then my CPTSD symptoms have gone really high and I'm still very affected and feel even more alone in the world..... to see the truth about people and feeling so much yet struggling to understand social clues and the narcissistic trauma makes life too hard..... 42 now and not sure if I will ever recover from this planet and cluster B personnalities.... especially cos many neurotypicals do not see what I see and do not like truth, they prefer nice lies which helps the abusive people.... I can't deal with this reality anymore.... so much superficiality everywhere and abuse and people keep acting like nothing of this is happening, I don't get it, all these fake people eveywhere, mean or not, people run away from the truth, how can I be in this world then?
I am sorry you feel so alone and life feels so hard! Having CPTSD as well as autism must be very tough! Thank you for sharing and being honest! We need more kindness and authenticity in this world!
For my own experience. I was raised by a narcissistic mother, and I have Asperger Syndrome. Now as an adult, I have learned more about what is appropriate and what’s not. I can see how much my mother was using my lack of understanding humankind, human social cues and human behavior to control my life. This was way too easy for her to do what she want to do to me, and she’s seems very much enjoying every bit of it. But I’m also sure she was very upset every time when I point out her faults and keep asking “Why?” for things that I wasn’t fully understand as a young child. Because she can’t be reason. She sees me as a trouble when her children ask her anything out of curiosity. All she was upset about was “Why my daughter doesn’t obeying me like her brother? What is wrong with her?” I totally agree with what you said about both parties are lack of empathy. For example, I would not hesitated to suggest someone have an abortion if her life is at risk by carrying a baby. I might even call her stupid to risk her life because using one’s life to exchange life is foolish. And thinking about leave the baby behind without a mother? But if someone could explain to me how much this pregnant woman been through psychologically. I will try to be more careful with my words, or maybe better to keep my mouth shut since I don’t know how to comfort her. But saying something just to hurt someone like my mother usually do is just not me. There’s no reason for me to do anything to hurt people. I would say the more I understanding narcissist personality the more I know (not understand) what’s the deal behind of themes. They’re just some sort of pathetic imbalances creatures. Sorry about my English, too hard to not to say something out my chest when both narcissistic and AS being compared. Thank you for your videos. They’ve been helping me gone through a whole year of hard time from choosing no contact with my mother. I don’t know what to do around her. Leaving her seems the most safest action for me to do. But then, I don’t know how to deal with my own emotions either. Your videos helps a lot truly. I’m glad that you are living with a way way better man than before with a cute little dog. Hope you have a wonderful life till end.
Thanks for making these distinctions so clear. I wonder whether you have heard of people having a mix of autistic and narcissistic traits. My mother has both, I think. Thanks for your comment.
@@CourageCoaching my latest insight is that my mother has developed a narcissistic pattern as a defence against her inferiority feelings due to her autistic handicap and that it has become so deeply ingrained that she is always on autopilot. It probably started in her primary school. Would that be a possible explanation ?
Excellent analysis. I have learned recently, that these spetrum conditions can overlap as well, and that a person with Asperger Syndrome can also be narcissistic. Have you found that the be true in your studies?
yes indeed! My dad is autistic and narcissitic! i realised this later in life.... he manipulates a lot through silent treatment and lack of reaction cos his autism doesn't allow him to manipualte with word salad like other narcissists do yet he has a public and private persona which are very different and has no empathy whatsoever even for his children. I'm autistic so I know this is not that he doesn't know how to show empathy cos in public circumstances with strangers he acts differently
I had 2 narc parents that had two children. I turned out an empath who fell in love with an aspie 😆 Not everyone who was a neglected child ends up being a narc either.
Im the person who has Asperger's, but happened to married a narcissist. 😢 it's a painful experience. My disability became a forever weapon for my husband to use to against me in a conflict, and gain control over me. Because im lacking so much essential abilities as an adult.....😢
Most of the info on this video I find accurate...but there are a two points about individuals on the Autism Spectrum I disagree with. From personal insight in my experiences, I believe that an individual on the Autism spectrum are capable of giving the silent treatment. I had given someone the silent treatment by being distant and ignorant only after the person had harmed me maliciously and/or have bad intentions towards me. I was not doing just because I was upset, I was doing this to protect myself from the individual being able to do more harm to me. And last, I believe that some people on the Autism spectrum can be intuitive, but might be below average because of the neurodevelopmental condition. I would experience strong gut feelings telling me if the person truly has bad intentions towards me. After getting hurt by someone already one time or twice, I would respond to a full gut feeling that tells me the person is not someone I can trust.
My sister married a man whom she believes to has Aspergers. I have been doing research between Aspergers, Narcissism, Sociopathy, and Psychopathy and he seems to have traits of all. As he gets older (60's) he is getting worse. My sister claims she can live with it and deal with him. But nobody else can. My sister has lost out on invitations because of him. If he shows up at a function with her, people point at him and talk amongst themselves about him. He has lost friends, been kicked out of bands (bass player), etc. My husband and I no longer want to be in his presence as we find him intolerable. In his mind he is not the problem, everyone else is. He told my sister once that he knows he is "quirky" but he isn't going to change nor try. Everyone else is just "going to have to live with it." She wants to approach him about possible Aspergers but doesn't want him to get mad nor hurt his feelings. It's like a standoff.
If he has traits of psychopathy/narcissism, bringing up Aspergers isn't going to help. The other traits are what your sister needs to worry about and get out!
@@CourageCoaching Thank you. He has never been violent with her. Her first husband did towards thr end of their marriage. My sister believes in the sanctity of the vows she took with him. She states she will stay in the marriage unless he becomes violent or cheats on her. Unfortunately.
I think the people with aspergers (I'm one) are more towards one particular end of the social scale, typicals in the middle, adhd the other end. They can be selfish or unselfish 😂
I really think my father could be autistic ... sometimes he behaves like he could be narcissistic. But it´s different from my clearly narcissistic brother.
Oh gosh i should found your video at first it’s too late he did all he wanted to me and letting me go after 3 years but I’m happy after he let me go😔 he’s really hurt me on purpose he’s told me he’s an asperger but what he did to me he’s actually have narcissistic traits for sure
@@CourageCoaching thank you I’m still in pain but so much better now. wish that woman luck he cheated on me and left me for her right away after he wanted to ended our relationship and i had no clue, he simply e-mail (we were in LDR) me with long explanation after that two month for more apologize about the truth that he cheat on me and said it wasn’t his intention to cheat… bla bla 😐 and said like he thought i would move to live with him at first ( always said I’m far from him but also did nothing to come meet me which he was the one who said he will) then wish me find an other good guys bla bla 😐 but i can’t trust him anymore he said « sorry » many times but never changed, I think he was gaslight to me for long time , I’m glad I’m walked away from his life and took only good things with me 🥹🙂
@@CourageCoaching Thanks and the reason I bring it up is cause I'm in a situation were a certain in law I'm told has "Asperger's" but not diagnosed and I feel it's being used by enablers to defend abusive, toxic tendencies and put up with narcissistic abusive. The main message being "feel sorry for him he doesn't know what he says or does he has aspergers". However I find his attack far to thought out and crafted to be random acts of Asperger's.
@@scourneene There is always a personality in every person, Asperger's or not. It could be that your in law has Asperger's but has also got a nasty character/personality. Trust your gut!
"Austistics do lack empathy but it is not intended to hurt others." Wow. Thing is, the result is THE SAME. It hurts all the same. I would actually prefer it if they were purposely trying to hurt me. At least that would mean they see me.
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Very informative ! As a clinically diagnosed person with Asperger’s, I’ve come up against someone so incredibly accurate with your Narcissistic description and cannot understand how someone could be so manipulative, calculating, dishonest and almost evil. I can go from zero to 1000 rpm regarding emotions but have great empathy once I’ve calmed down !
Incredibly accurate video with well researched information, thank you !!
Autistic individuals actually have a great sense of empathy … like many other things empathy is broken down into sub categories - like you said they have trouble understanding aka cognitive empathy, however their AFFECTIVE empathy is very high and often overwhelming (affective based on instincts). They often have such big hearts but the way they express themselves is so off from neurotypicals that you can’t label it as the conventional term for that emotion . Sorry if I explained it bad this is just my point of view as well.
This is very true! Thank you for sharing!
As an auti and aspie I can assure you we DO have empathy.
I'm autistic asperger with ADHD and highly sensitive and emotionally empathic, was raised by covert narcissistic parents and opened my eyes on the truth in my 30's.... Since then my CPTSD symptoms have gone really high and I'm still very affected and feel even more alone in the world..... to see the truth about people and feeling so much yet struggling to understand social clues and the narcissistic trauma makes life too hard..... 42 now and not sure if I will ever recover from this planet and cluster B personnalities.... especially cos many neurotypicals do not see what I see and do not like truth, they prefer nice lies which helps the abusive people.... I can't deal with this reality anymore.... so much superficiality everywhere and abuse and people keep acting like nothing of this is happening, I don't get it, all these fake people eveywhere, mean or not, people run away from the truth, how can I be in this world then?
I am sorry you feel so alone and life feels so hard! Having CPTSD as well as autism must be very tough! Thank you for sharing and being honest! We need more kindness and authenticity in this world!
For my own experience. I was raised by a narcissistic mother, and I have Asperger Syndrome. Now as an adult, I have learned more about what is appropriate and what’s not. I can see how much my mother was using my lack of understanding humankind, human social cues and human behavior to control my life. This was way too easy for her to do what she want to do to me, and she’s seems very much enjoying every bit of it. But I’m also sure she was very upset every time when I point out her faults and keep asking “Why?” for things that I wasn’t fully understand as a young child. Because she can’t be reason. She sees me as a trouble when her children ask her anything out of curiosity. All she was upset about was “Why my daughter doesn’t obeying me like her brother? What is wrong with her?” I totally agree with what you said about both parties are lack of empathy. For example, I would not hesitated to suggest someone have an abortion if her life is at risk by carrying a baby. I might even call her stupid to risk her life because using one’s life to exchange life is foolish. And thinking about leave the baby behind without a mother? But if someone could explain to me how much this pregnant woman been through psychologically. I will try to be more careful with my words, or maybe better to keep my mouth shut since I don’t know how to comfort her. But saying something just to hurt someone like my mother usually do is just not me. There’s no reason for me to do anything to hurt people. I would say the more I understanding narcissist personality the more I know (not understand) what’s the deal behind of themes. They’re just some sort of pathetic imbalances creatures.
Sorry about my English, too hard to not to say something out my chest when both narcissistic and AS being compared. Thank you for your videos. They’ve been helping me gone through a whole year of hard time from choosing no contact with my mother. I don’t know what to do around her. Leaving her seems the most safest action for me to do. But then, I don’t know how to deal with my own emotions either. Your videos helps a lot truly. I’m glad that you are living with a way way better man than before with a cute little dog. Hope you have a wonderful life till end.
Not ALL autistic people lack empathy. Only some. Many of us have a great deal of empathy. Also it's possible to be an aspie and a narcissist both
Thanks for making these distinctions so clear. I wonder whether you have heard of people having a mix of autistic and narcissistic traits. My mother has both, I think. Thanks for your comment.
This can definitely be possible..depends on their upbringing.
@@CourageCoaching my latest insight is that my mother has developed a narcissistic pattern as a defence against her inferiority feelings due to her autistic handicap and that it has become so deeply ingrained that she is always on autopilot. It probably started in her primary school. Would that be a possible explanation ?
@@turbanlisimge16Yes, please. I'd love to learn more about it.
@@turbanlisimge16 No problem at all. Feel free to share your insights.
she is literally reading just from a website...
This is an excellent video, concise and well-spoken. I actually think I may have NPD and be an aspie, so I'm a real catch...
Dr Ramani says this is possible. Now I'm wondering if that's what's going on with my sisters, maybe my mom
Lol
Excellent analysis. I have learned recently, that these spetrum conditions can overlap as well, and that a person with Asperger Syndrome can also be narcissistic. Have you found that the be true in your studies?
Yes this is indeed possible.
@@CourageCoaching Thanks, much appreciated.
yes indeed! My dad is autistic and narcissitic! i realised this later in life.... he manipulates a lot through silent treatment and lack of reaction cos his autism doesn't allow him to manipualte with word salad like other narcissists do yet he has a public and private persona which are very different and has no empathy whatsoever even for his children. I'm autistic so I know this is not that he doesn't know how to show empathy cos in public circumstances with strangers he acts differently
I had 2 narc parents that had two children. I turned out an empath who fell in love with an aspie 😆 Not everyone who was a neglected child ends up being a narc either.
I have Asperger’s and have too much empathy ❤
Same! Most of us do
Same here! I feel and understand empathy just like everyone else!❤❤
So sad that many narcissists try to blame their behavior on asperders or autism
They seem to overlap, can one be both.
Yes, they can be co-morbid
Can you explain when narcissist become psychopatic? Specially the ones using covert behavior?
Hi Maria. Psychopaths are born, not made. All psychopaths are narcissistic, but not all narcissists are psychopaths or sociopaths. I hope this helps.
Im the person who has Asperger's, but happened to married a narcissist. 😢 it's a painful experience. My disability became a forever weapon for my husband to use to against me in a conflict, and gain control over me. Because im lacking so much essential abilities as an adult.....😢
I am so sorry to hear this! Have you got outside support?
Most of the info on this video I find accurate...but there are a two points about individuals on the Autism Spectrum I disagree with. From personal insight in my experiences, I believe that an individual on the Autism spectrum are capable of giving the silent treatment. I had given someone the silent treatment by being distant and ignorant only after the person had harmed me maliciously and/or have bad intentions towards me. I was not doing just because I was upset, I was doing this to protect myself from the individual being able to do more harm to me. And last, I believe that some people on the Autism spectrum can be intuitive, but might be below average because of the neurodevelopmental condition. I would experience strong gut feelings telling me if the person truly has bad intentions towards me. After getting hurt by someone already one time or twice, I would respond to a full gut feeling that tells me the person is not someone I can trust.
Every individual with Aspergers or not, is also unique and has their own personality so may choose to act differently to what is expected.
My sister married a man whom she believes to has Aspergers. I have been doing research between Aspergers, Narcissism, Sociopathy, and Psychopathy and he seems to have traits of all. As he gets older (60's) he is getting worse. My sister claims she can live with it and deal with him. But nobody else can. My sister has lost out on invitations because of him. If he shows up at a function with her, people point at him and talk amongst themselves about him. He has lost friends, been kicked out of bands (bass player), etc. My husband and I no longer want to be in his presence as we find him intolerable. In his mind he is not the problem, everyone else is. He told my sister once that he knows he is "quirky" but he isn't going to change nor try. Everyone else is just "going to have to live with it." She wants to approach him about possible Aspergers but doesn't want him to get mad nor hurt his feelings. It's like a standoff.
If he has traits of psychopathy/narcissism, bringing up Aspergers isn't going to help. The other traits are what your sister needs to worry about and get out!
@@CourageCoaching Thank you. He has never been violent with her. Her first husband did towards thr end of their marriage. My sister believes in the sanctity of the vows she took with him. She states she will stay in the marriage unless he becomes violent or cheats on her. Unfortunately.
What will happen if the person with autism also has nassisistic traits
Well then you need to set boundaries or end the relationship. It does happen!
I think the people with aspergers (I'm one) are more towards one particular end of the social scale, typicals in the middle, adhd the other end. They can be selfish or unselfish 😂
How can I contact you for a session.
Please email me at courageisallyouneed@gmail.com
I’m sure you can be both too. I see about 50/50 signs from each.
I really think my father could be autistic ... sometimes he behaves like he could be narcissistic. But it´s different from my clearly narcissistic brother.
Oh gosh i should found your video at first it’s too late he did all he wanted to me and letting me go after 3 years but I’m happy after he let me go😔 he’s really hurt me on purpose he’s told me he’s an asperger but what he did to me he’s actually have narcissistic traits for sure
Sometimes individuals with Aspergers also have NPD as well. I am sorry you had to go through this.
@@CourageCoaching thank you I’m still in pain but so much better now. wish that woman luck he cheated on me and left me for her right away after he wanted to ended our relationship and i had no clue, he simply e-mail (we were in LDR) me with long explanation after that two month for more apologize about the truth that he cheat on me and said it wasn’t his intention to cheat… bla bla 😐 and said like he thought i would move to live with him at first ( always said I’m far from him but also did nothing to come meet me which he was the one who said he will) then wish me find an other good guys bla bla 😐 but i can’t trust him anymore he said « sorry » many times but never changed, I think he was gaslight to me for long time , I’m glad I’m walked away from his life and took only good things with me 🥹🙂
I'm going to guess that a lot of marriages fail because spouses think their ASD partner is a narcissist.
on purpose
Ok...can somebody suffer from both?
Absolutely!
I think so - let’s say you got picked on for having ASD then yes
@@CourageCoaching Thanks and the reason I bring it up is cause I'm in a situation were a certain in law I'm told has "Asperger's" but not diagnosed and I feel it's being used by enablers to defend abusive, toxic tendencies and put up with narcissistic abusive. The main message being "feel sorry for him he doesn't know what he says or does he has aspergers". However I find his attack far to thought out and crafted to be random acts of Asperger's.
@@scourneene There is always a personality in every person, Asperger's or not. It could be that your in law has Asperger's but has also got a nasty character/personality. Trust your gut!
"Austistics do lack empathy but it is not intended to hurt others." Wow. Thing is, the result is THE SAME. It hurts all the same. I would actually prefer it if they were purposely trying to hurt me. At least that would mean they see me.
Had to be targeted manipulations & fake persona