let's say there are 5 grades of women and men (A to E) with E being the least desirable. it's true that there are fewer women than men but if A and B grade women wait too long before they get married, all the A and B grade men will be taken. Apparently, these women won't consider C, D and E grade men. In short, it's a mismatch problem. This is why there are leftover desirable women while the poorest men are marrying Vietnamese or other SE Asian women.
+c0re yeah women don't do shit when they hit 30. In fact all my life goals and plans only extend to 30 years of age since we just lie down and die obviously.
Lol...😂😂😂. I am confused about this ironically speaking.. its very simple solution if they adopt “ when the desirable is unavailable, the available becomes desirable “.
First of all, I'm a guy from China. Most of the things in the video but not all are true. I just want to point out how media can "missed" some slight mistake and drastically change viewers' opinions. First of all, "leftover girls" in this video is a translation of "剩女“. But there is also a term called "剩男”, which is "leftover boys". What's said in the video "but they don't label men as leftover" is totally incorrect. If you google "剩男剩女" or “剩女剩男”, you'll find as least as many "剩男” as, if not more than "剩女“. This video just chose to pass on the "leftover boys" part to make this term more like a single-sided gender issue. It is not the Chinese society against strong independent women and men, but it's the Chinese culture against unmarried but "should-have-been-married" women and men. People are expected to get married. I don't understand why we should. But China has a family-oriented history of thousands of years long, and it may not go away easily. One another note, I think it is a good thing that more and more "剩男剩女" appear, which is quite a natural result of women and men are getting more and more educated, independent, and knowing more about what they want in their relationships. Leftover women and men, don't let the willingness to settle for anything kick in. You are independent. Why would stereotypes matter anyway? Domestic violence is something really need to end. But the video doesn't emphasize this. The stereotype of women should rely on men is quite common in China and other places. Recently in China, there is quite a controversy about a video of a female speaker telling her audience, mostly female, how they should be submissive. It's sad how she has become "herself", and how she believes it and keep the chain going. Girls, take good care of yourselves, and don't rely on anyone to take care of you. End the relationship as soon as you find it unequal. (Guys also) Last but not least, over the years, I have become more and more aware of how evil our media are. Misleading information gradually creates misunderstanding, which then inflames hatred and conflict, and then killings and wars. I see a comment "I don't understand how women can be scarce, yet considered leftoverrs." That's a good sign of a thinker. To be yourself, start from critically think about the daily information fed to us.
Thank you for saying these things! I was going crazy because of the inaccurate portrayal in this documentary. The interviewer is Swedish and I recognize her "cultural bias", what she's thinking behind her questions. I've been living in Sweden for 30 years so I know how things are here. It's practically a crime to NOT call your self a feminist in Sweden, whether you're man or a woman, and especially if you're a politician. My Swedish daughter is now living and working in China.
@@lynninpain so i guess you are from the country side? Do you even realise how big China is? Do you even realise how biased yours own media over there is? It really doesn't matter that much, what you call biased, its about what you call present. If you have that issues, and if you deny it, well that is your problem.. not ours so we could care less. Still human traffiking is a world wide issue.. but nvm. You must not have it. It depends on the region. But you dont get that.
I feel media everywhere is like this. Lots of money goes into studies to get people to do what 'they' (the magical they that is them) want. It's plastered everywhere so you are bombarded no matter where you go. I was happy to see your opinion on the matter. And don't listen to those who say 'that's your problem, nobody cares'. #@!& Them! I care! I've never talked to anyone worth talking to that didn't. We are one world and what happens on the opposite side from where you are will effect us all. May we get through this garbage to make it as a species.
Its funny how most "indenpendent, educated and strong wahmen" in the comments implicates pathriarchy in their comments, they even reply comments sharing that biased mindset, the comments that they reply are popular but they even take the time to agree with low popularity comments that are way harder to find in the comment section than this one, but they don't reply to this one. A clear example of feminism(3rd wave) strong bias. The colective that is most easy to brainwash is always the one that is told that they have rights that aren't respected and is respected for other colectives, just like this content.
that's how a lot of relationships in China are, many of them marry because of the societal pressure to have a family, not necessarily because they like each other. It's also part of the reason China's population is so large, couples marry and have children regardless of how they feel about each other.
I never said looks didn't matter at all, I just said that loyalty, humor and intelligence matter a little more to me. And trust me, Ive dated some beautiful people with no substance and its just tiring, its like you're dating a doll. They're beautiful but have nothing to say so they're so boring to be around. I do also have plenty of female and male friends who are average to very good looking who also have substance, humor and are interesting people, so physical and mental attractiveness don't always have to be mutually exclusive.
This is definitely an unspoken problem I'm only too familiar with. The ideal Chinese girl is pretty, healthy, never married, a virgin, filial, and if your parents were born before 1950, your star sign and name have to be 'compatible'. Obviously in this day and age this is pretty rare, but girls are still expected to conform to this bizarre and fantastical ideal. Even my parents who are pretty 'westernised' still can't shed their expectations. They brought me up to be competitive and career orientated, and now in my early 20s I'm fulfilling all my goals in those areas, but they're now suddenly changing their views in what I should be. Everyday I'm told that I should be more 'feminine', and I kid you not they have told me to wear dresses and skirts more often, to be a 小女人 when I speak to men, to not be so dominant and competitive in front of men. I really can't accept their words and I'm proud to be called a 女强人 no matter what others say.
i feel like we're on the same boat. my mom is okay with me being more career oriented, and my dad 100% supports it. however, the second i hit my 20's my mom will start pushing marriage into my life, telling me i'll only ever be happy and successful if i'm married with children. it's going to be a real shocker when i tell her i'm bisexual & an atheist lmaoooo
my chinese teacher once told us about this issue, She was a second child during the one child policy, so she told us that her parents paid an anual fine/tax for having her, and they told her and encouraged her to study in a foreign country to reach a happy life without social pressures that could go uppon her by being a second child and a woman who wants a carreer. she told us her parents loved her so much and wanted her to experience life. She's been out of china for 15 years and even if she miss her family she says she's happy and grateful for the family she got. another chinese teacher I got said He was also happy to be just free of looking for a bride, and that he doesn't feel the pressure of having a big house, a car and a big bank account. It's a problem for both sides.
No mention of the practice of sons living with their parents and wife moving in to take care of them. That's one of the reasons for female infanticide. Parents of a girl would end up dying alone with no support. The government never addressed this issue. No social security or nursing homes until recently. Still it affects women greatly.
Ramona O'Meally Because the man's family paid a dowry (large sum of money) to buy their 'servant' aka wife. Even though I would not be able to be forced to move in and take care of future in-laws, I'd never ask my parents to ask for a dowry because they'll always think they can control you. I'm good earning my own money and psychologically having my own freedom.
ltz888 "Because the man's family paid a dowry (large sum of money) to buy their 'servant' aka wife." Wrong. A dowry is money that the bride's family gives their daughter to support herself in her new family. When the husband's family pays for the "wife," that's not a dowry, it's a bride price, and that's not a Chinese marital convention.
To my Chinese sisters: Stay strong. Your toughness is your beauty. You are not left-over or "less than". You are beautiful and inspiring just the way you are! *hugz* from America! Peace.
In hindsight , women there kind of have the upper hand, due to the one child policy and therefore too many males ration to women. So women can be more selective
piglette0928 *In hindsight , women there kind of have the upper hand, due to the one child policy and therefore too many males ration to women. So women can be more selective* In theory women have more choices, but in reality this is not the case. The cold hard truth is that men are not interested in marrying old women.
Monika Sa *maybe we should start judging men on the matter of "slut" terminology?* I think they already do, well, are tying to at least. Women tried calling sexually promiscuous men sluts and man-whores for a while, but neither men or women cared very much about this. No matter what they were called, men were still proud that they were getting lots of sex from women, and women were still pursuing these men for marriage. The latest term I have heard is "fuck boy", but it seems like whatever term is used, people still don't care. This is because men and women are *different*. Men are the buyers of sex, and women are the sellers of it. Men have to work to get sex from women, and women simply pay men with sex. Men have to prove their worth in order to get sex from women, and women simply decide which men are worthy of sex from them. When a man has sex with several different women, this means several different women have seen him as worthy of sex from them. He has been screened by several women for worthiness, and all of them said yes. This is why sex increases a man's value. When a woman has sex with several different men, she has decided that several different men are worthy of sex from her. She would not have chosen to have sex with them if she thought that these men were below her value, so this means that she must have been below their value. This is why the more sex she has, the less value she has. Men and women are different biologically, and that is why sexually promiscuous behavior is viewed differently depending on whether they are male of female. It is based on the biological differences between men and women. Men and women are not the same. Slut shaming isn't something that men and women both use because deep down they all hate women. It is because men and women are different by nature. The only reason feminists claim that slut-shaming is done because men and women have deep rooted misogyny, is to encourage women to hate men. If you want to watch a video that explains the actual biological reasons (as opposed to the logical reasons I have provided here) then I recommend you check out the video "TL;DR - A Biological Reason? Slut Shaming".
There's nothing new here, but it's always shocking to me to hear of how it's the same all over the world. Women are told to be "strong" when it suits men's agenda, and "soft" when it doesn't. And it's always decided for us, what femininity really means... my takeaway, though, is just how bright and hopeful and resilient these Chinese women are! To think Wang Zheng turned out to be the girl in those movies! It heartened me and gave me hope in my own life to see them. I'll always be a fan!!
Female hypergamy has been revealed by science at this point. Women initiate 80% of all divorces. On Tinder women swipe acceptance only 15% of the time, and rate 80% of men as below average. This is the historical mate choice pattern with humans, and true of Chimpanzees as well (link below). This means 100% of women are chasing 20% of men. What is initially desired is a tall/attractive high status male with charisma (but in youth just 'hot' may do), and later they want 'the provider' to come with status and a bank account, so an alpha male becomes optional as a female ages and seeks security. This whole process is often exacerbated by baby rabies. 90% of women view any man (excepting the top 1-3%...maybe) as merely a placeholder in the equation for their dream fulfillment and entitlement, and generally without regard for anything he wants. In a legal marriage in the present day, a man submits himself in the same way that he forfeits his rights when he joins the military. Your choice and equality exists until the marriage license is signed and filed. Sperm banks, what women choose when they have complete control ruclips.net/video/pidF40AzzQI/видео.html Recap and succinct proof 1] Women initiate 80% of all divorces for the lottery style payout. 2] 100% of women rate 80% of men as below average. 3] Women are far more status and money oriented than men. 4] Here is a succinct summary of the data/proof: Gender Attraction Differential ruclips.net/video/7vqRbScCIPU/видео.html With your half-baked comment obliterated, you are left a boring solipsistic mega-whiner.
Amrita Ramesh, I guess you missed the part about the men who are shoved aside in society and considered "undesirable," for similar reasons, like not owning property in Beijing, not having a "good enough" job, etc. And you also seemed to have missed the part where the expert on the issue also said that men are not happy in this situation either. Actually, this *is* a new phenomenon, and absolutely not the same thing all over the world. Stop trying to use every single situation to fit your lazy, identity politics victim narrative. Inequality & discrimination are real issues in many societies around the world. You're being counter-productive by lazily saying that it's "all the same."
That older Chinese lady is so eloquent in her thoughts and answers. I'm glad my parents chose to migrate from Chinese to Australia - this sort of society doesn't quite exist in Sydney.
That old woman isn't eloquent, she is a delusional marxist. The left over women in this video aren't victims of a woman-hating society, they are entitled women who have made poor life choices.
+Gabriel Lewicki either you're really passionate about this issue or you're an Internet troll. You've commented on so many comments in this thread I'm starting to question your motive. Plus your answers are mainly blanket statements generalising the experience of leftover women. Unless you're one of them or had done intense research and studies on this topic, don't go around painting everyone with the same brush.
Primped and Primed *either you're really passionate about this issue or you're an Internet troll. You've commented on so many comments in this thread I'm starting to question your motive. Plus your answers are mainly blanket statements generalising the experience of leftover women. Unless you're one of them or had done intense research and studies on this topic, don't go around painting everyone with the same brush.* How about instead of attempting to invalidate what I have said, you address my comment with a counter-argument. Cause the comment you have left here just makes it look like you are trying to stifle an opposing view, because you are incapable of refuting it.
+Gabriel Lewicki Change every "woman" word and replace it with "man" then it would somehow be weird. People can experience the world before settling down, because you do realise that Marriage is a huge life commitment??? People have thrown away dreams and aspirations for Marriage. In this time and age, especially in a Modernise country, it should be normal for woman to marry older. A woman would studies high education won't have time for anything else if you mean you have to get married before 25. Marrisge at 26-30 is still the best option in any soical context. Both genders should be free to pursue their shit before having to settle down, because raising a child requires a lot of effort for many years. So dude, your thinking is kinda backwards in our globalised world.
And here I am at 25 not wanting to even think of marriage and having kids. By the way, by Mexican standards in my town, I'm also considered a "leftover woman"
HelloDarling! Yo creo que es lo mejor, muchas de las parejas que se casaron jóvenes tienen pésimas relaciones y muchas terminan divorciandose. Es mejor esperar a ser suficientemente maduro no?
I’m Mexican myself as well and I’m 24 With no kids and not even married but I not looking for that any time soon. Most of my friends are married with kids or simply together with kids others are single parents too so yeah I’m one of them hand full that haven’t settle down yet
When I lived in DF (soy un gringo achilangado) I always dated women that were older than you. Educated, professional, able to approach the relationship as an equal friend. Esa me gusta. The cultural aspect that gave the most problems was “Malinche” I liked women that were proud of their Mexican culture.
HelloDarling! Dude I’m a Chicana with Mexican parents. I grew up witnessing domestic abuse and economic abuse. Not only between my parents but the neighborhood ladies as well. They all married and had kids at a young age. I won’t do that. I don’t plan to ever be married or have children. Have a life partner male or woman for sure. But I like being free and the machismo and homophobia in Mexican culture is making me move to SF for my studies.
That's where the real issue lie, because if you type left over men on youtube, you actually find docus of left over men (You don't need to type Chinese with it), but in this "documentary", it feeds you the idea that only the women are labeled as such.
As a Somali woman, I can relate to all of this. Age discrimination is so real against women, and any woman above 25 is considered too old for marriage. It's sad.
***** lol you're soo uneducated. Men don't age like wine. They look MUCH older because they can't look after themselves properly. And those who do and go for young women really delude themselves. Biologically? You believe bullshit theories which just defend pigs who really just want polygamy? If it was nature, most humans would do it but it happens only in backward and uneducated societies. Humans are another species which are meant to find lifelong partners. And this doesn't include someone half your age. You say reality, when really you live a sad delusion. No sane young woman is attracted to the guy who looks and IS her fathers age. You can't change reality. Gh Senior it is the newer kids taking selfies. Replaced by 18 yr olds? You want children to manipulate and bone only? Yeah you sound like a crappy catch. 😂
sorry twit, i know your hurting but men like me age like wine, I've been having with a few 36 and 31 year olds and I'm 40, they both think I'm like 27-30 years old, they look like milk with mold on it while i look like I'm still brand dam new. women today are not popular with men, your popular wit old men and young boys looking for a oldie (mid twenty something) party girl to train on as they are sick of the vapid mental midgets that 20 year old girls are.
Coco Pops my point isn't that your interesting in old men my point is you don't have options. your 30 sure you can find some fuck n chucks that will shag you but if you want a traditional guy to look after you at all you'll have to around 30 look to men maybe not 50 but def in there mid 40s. this is how it is today, date who ever but you'll be in a dutch experience, you'll pay hell pay, u want tradition you'll have to go much older. its not the 90s anymore sweetheart, hurts doesn't it.
The marriage market in China is creepy, marriage has turned into a superficial competition with men looking for youth and beauty, while women search for money and security. And everything else is secondary.
mekalunia Don't be delusional. That's how it is today generally. Especially in The West such as the United States. Men like young hot chicks and women like resources. You don't get attracted nor look at a guy solely on personality. As a matter of fact it's secondary. Anyone who says no is lying.
It’s the same with online dating in general and the evolutionary process of humans. This has been going on for centuries and is nothing new. Women are hypergamous, and men want to spread their seed. What’s changed is that we added so much extra B.S. to relationship expectations in a hyper hedonistic world that peoples egos are so inflated. Reality doesn’t set in until much later, if and when people grow up and stop stroking their egos.
Finding a man who can hold an intelligent conversation on a range of topics, reads, wants to get married, and isn't a conspiracy theorist is harder than it should be.
Yes, a tragedy on social perspective. Because these woman are well educated, intelligent, and financially strong woman who could be the mother of china's future generation. Their children is likely to be more productive and valuable to society, because they are capable of providing better education and environment, than those come from less privileged families. Also, in their pursue to give the kids the 'best', it creates markets and drives spending, which means improved economy. Chinese government ain't dumb, they won't push the agenda against the up raising feminism tide if there ain't any thing in it.
7uci4er A comment in perfect keeping with your moniker, that is honestly one of the most grotesque things I have ever read on youtube and that really saying something.
nope! thou it sounded grotesques, I believe the Chinese government actually learned something from the one child policy. Many Chinese sociologist believes 'one child' is a case of social engineering gone wrong. Coz during that period, people in the city working for the government and state owned companies only had one child and selective abortion is banned, while at the country side, selective abortion is common and families with several kids are common in some of the poorest regions. That have arguable consequences on many of China's now perceived problems, including gender ratio imbalance, influx of country side people into the cities, the growing low income population, 'stay at home children' where both the parents are out working in cities and kids stay with grandparents at the country side, just to name a few. So it is logical for Chinese government try to push agendas that they believe will right it's cause, while avoiding another social engineering policy. After all, China, a country only founded on the end of 1949, and by the 50's they've surpassed many countries on gender equality agenda. Do you really think a certain agenda can dominate the media when it's against what the government want, even the slightest?
7uci4er I think the Chinese government has conditioned you well, you seem to be able to glaze over the human costs and justify the tragedy as some kind of necessary sacrifice to the Gods of GDP. People are not just a means to an ends as your government (and perhaps now its citizens too) clearly seem to think, they have actual fears, hopes and dreams. Even if these women don't get their fairy tale ending they will still have access to money, regular sex and employment opportunities. What exactly do the men have to look forward to?
Unfortunately the Chinese haven't have chance to put anything in my mind yet. Some people are brought up thinking human, themselves are something special. Maybe seeing as an individual you are, but seeing from a group, you are just a dot on paper, a number in a board sense, to any government in the world. And unlike a country where the new leader can just throw what the previous one done out of the window, like Obama's healthcare and trump's wall. the Chinese government don't have a revolving door, they have to clean up they own shit, therefore they have to look into the future more than others. So while you focusing on the happy, sad of the 20 million minorities, CCP have to look at the bigger picture. How to afford utilities and infrastructures to them along with the others, who live in some of the poorest regions in the next 20 years? How to afford their age care and healthcare in the next 40 years? The answer is definitely not with a diminishing workforce. Plus, there's no solution to the marriage issue when one gender's clearly in abundance, what can they do? Allowing polygamy?
BAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! you wish! those women are strong and independent, itis not China's fault, it is their stupid sturbon headed clingling dependent parents!
5 лет назад+5
the Chinese girls already here are not worth it either.
My grandmother once asked me to let her hold a great grandchild before she dies. I asked her if "me being in a miserable marriage is an ok trade for her moment of joy."
Ze Li that's one of the saddest things I've ever heard, for both of you. Her moment of joy would respresent stability for you, the freedom for you to not have to go out to work (the pressure would be off you) and the continuation of the family. I bet she thought it would mean you'd be happily married and be overjoyed to have your own baby etc... it's also desperately sad that you feel like marriage and children equates to misery. Far from being selfish, I think your grandma was looking out for your best interests, as she saw them, so while I can understand that you don't feel the same way, I still think it's sad that she heard that.
+T LUCk COmpany Physically, yes we are different. Inherently, we are both HUMAN BEINGS capable of many things. Men are able to wash dishes and change diapers, women can be engineers and fly planes. Women have just as much intrinsic value as men.
I feel like they could have chosen a different host for this documentary. She doesn't have any grasp on Mandarin at all and I was kind of peeved by her calling what is daily, cultural activities in China as "people doing weird things." (at 8:33)
Plus, I find it very hard to believe that if translated properly, he would have had a hard time understanding what she said at 15:12. What she said wasn't out of place at all! I'm thinking of how the sentence, "someone who can make me laugh, is intelligent and read lots of books" would have sounded in Mandarin and it is absurdly basic. My parents watch tons of Chinese dating shows and this kind of sentence is said countless times by female participants. The confused face the host was making was clearly because she was speaking English in a country where that isn't the norm. While the documentary is very good, there are a lot of Western biases here that I'm not a fan of. Also, joining the dating event was kind of insensitive for the poor guy she ended up being paired with considering that she wasn't there as a serious participant.
Wow, I feel like she’s an amazing host. The low part of the documentary was probably when she said that ppl were doing “weird things” around her, because she just wasn’t familiar with that part of Chinese life-which I personally think is a very charming part of China. I think that this interview was mostly targeted at Western audiences though, and so having her as the host also provides some amount of familiarity for the audience as they’re taking in so many new things from another culture. I think overall, that the host is really a great one and seeks to respect the people she interacts with :)
Hannah W. I have found that this particular "reporter" is extremely biased and judgmental in all the cultures she covers. She tries to appear sincere and engaged to the people she interviews, but her voice is always dripping with a sense of superiority whenever she discusses a cultural component that is unfamiliar to her.
I can confirm everything discussed in this is true from my own experience in China. No coincidence that young female suicide rates in China are higher than the norm and Mich higher than male. These, worldly, educated, independent "leftover" women are exactly the kind of woman I would look for if I was single.
+Daniel Tynan The bad thing is that they only want to marry chinese men. I come from the United States and visited China 1 year ago. In Shanghai I met many beautiful chinese women who are well educated and still single. But everytime I asked them if they would start a relationship with me they refuse because they told me that they only dating with chinese men. Guess I should look elsewhere....
+Duvant Comet That wasn't my experience. . but Shanghai girls are probably leery of all the party boy/ playboy expats who gravitate to that metropolis. Did you meet anyone from 2nd tier cities?
Well, I visited also Hangzhou. The city is not far away from Shanghai. The women are also the same. They like to have a conversation with me but when I ask about relationship with a foreigner they let me know that they only want to date with chinese men. Afterward I was very upset when I saw how they started to flirt with another asian guy (I think they come from Korea). It's very disapointing. Especially when they talk perfect english and they're still single.
When Ting Ting was speaking at the end I teared up. I can't help but wish I could stand up fight the fight with them. And that quote at the end, "To pursue a society of justice and equality everybody has to fight." These women are all amazingly intelligent, strong role models 💗
"Today's consumerist culture is very oppressive to young men and women". At 30:30 That woman is extremely bright and insightful, on so many levels. I actually want to read her books if she wrote any.
+Leela Satya This woman is not intelligent. She is simply a marxist feminist. If you are interested in reading books by women like this, they are a dime a dozen.
Leela Satya *she is a professor at a prestigious US University.* She didn't say anything insightful though. All she did is spew out some tired and old marxist rhetoric. If this is the first time you have ever heard this stuff, then you will think that she is smart woman and that it is a good idea, but this stuff *old* and it is a *terrible* idea in practice. Look into marxism yourself. To give you another taste of it, here is a quote from another feminsit professor: _"No woman should be authorized to stay at home to raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one." ~Simone de Beauvoir, 1975_ *PS:* Most feminist professors in University are marxists, and the only reason they advocate for feminism to to push their marxist agenda.
google battlefield surgery and get back to me about who does the suffering... look up how many men have died doing all the dangerous jobs women won't do and then get back to me ... look up how many men died in WW2 and get back to me .. these women chose career over family and now they regret it .. and it is the men who are at fault ... talk about delusional
Athena lol ... Men have always provided for and protected women ... You pick a random number of years and say wow ... What the duck kind of idiot are you? What you said literally means nothing. It is not even anecdote ... It is just gibberish.
I'm Chinese and turning "leftover", my opinion is that I'm woman, I like make up, nail polish, gossip,or more, but I am strong too. It's not defined as I'm feminine blabla, it's something in myself, undeniably man and woman are different, so just be a woman, but strong.
Marriage is for love. Men need to stop compartmentalizing women and themselves we are humans and we all have different passions and individual desires in life. We can not pose a standard like that on either sex.
hslkd hgelx // i literally agree with everything you said lmfao. aint got no time for childbearing and that shits nah. 3rd option: date if ya like spending time together ya know, no pressure for a future or whatever, just do what feels good
Bearded IBMOR In the Bible there's a whole book in the Old Testament called The Song of Songs which describes young lovers who fall in love romantically with eachother. I don't know about different cultures around the world, but at least in the judeo-christian cultural tradition marriage has ideally always been something that is tied between a man and a woman who are romantically in love with eachother. So romantic love relationship is not some new bs invention, but it is what God Himself has intended.
Everyone, women entering the workplace in China had NOTHING to do with feminism, and EVERYTHING to do with survival. As the video said in the beginning, Mao saw a shortage of manpower and introduced a practical solution to it, by encouraging women to work. Similar situations can be found in other countries (including mine). Back then, we were simply too poor to survive if our women didn't work. Hell, even children worked. And the same still applies for poor countries today. Women have always worked, and always will. You can't stop the tide, because it has nothing to do with feminism. As long as extremely harsh conditions exist, women will continue to put food on the table alongside men, so that their family will not die of hunger. Only people from countries with generally better living conditions like the US and modern China can delude themselves into thinking women must stay at home/ be meek or civilization will collapse, when the opposite is the very reality for some other countries.
You guys should moderate your comments. There's so much abusive and degratory language everywhere, its sickening. Its a place to share your thoughts, sure, but some people leave nothing but hate speech around.
Agreed, although I am learning a lot from the people who have contributed to the conversation. I have also reported the comments that were especially awful. RUclips needs our help in keeping things civil. Thank you for voicing exactly what I was troubled by.
This documentary shows what happens when you have many people uneducated about life.. These parents for example don't mention intelligence, compassion, values or any higher level human qualities. They're like animals.. "What's your height, weight, age, beauty?" Is this a shop or a zoo or the slave trade or something? Or are we in the 21st century..? Classic animal behaviour to go straight for "height, weight, age, beauty".. At least add some character on top of that and other things like ambition, compassion and so on?
Ever heard of arranged marriage? It's extremely asian thing, from west asia to east asia. Virtually every society in Asia has different forms of arranged marriage xD
The Chinese people seem to be much more honest and pragmatic about life. People from developed nations whose heads are in the clouds will have trouble understanding this.
this is changing but is a slow process. I have been living in China for a while and I had meet a lot of women who were very open minded about this topic and were not worried about not getting married soon. But the problem with the leftover men is even bigger, because those men are poor and they have to pay A LOT OF MONEY to the bride family to be able to marry, the expectations of men had become too high as a consequence. For example a woman would only choose a man if he has a car and a house and if he pays (or his parents) pay a lot of money to her family, so guys are under a lot of stress as a result of this.
So fucking interesting ! Also it seems to me that feminism is the new "f" word... But it's still cool to think about the place of woman and of the concept of feminism !
I'm only 21 and my parents already worry that I don't have a boyfriend yet (yes, I'm Chinese). We are considered too young to have boyfriends in high school, but once we get into college, parents just expect us to find a boy and get married after college.
@stuart little Hi! Glad to tell you I’m 26 now, finished collage and grad school, have a job and still single. My parents really can’t force me to get married, but the pressure is here lol.
personally, i think the biggest problem is the low social status of farmers. because of the blooming Chinese economy, farmers is treated unfairly, as a low income occupation. i have seen so many villages become extinct. there are some photographer who go to remote area, and record the last breath of those villages with perfectly good arable lands.
+Yaoxing Li Don't you guys have Agricultural subsidies? Food isn't a want. It's a necessity. The United States understands this, what's happening over there.
Boo Radley not really, dialects are understandable for most of the places. if you mean the minorities, since China is made of 56 ethnic groups. i think, i am not sure, minorities are well protected, their culture are one of the selling points for tourists.
I just always report such comments as hate speech, which it clearly is. I recommend you to do the same, cassandra. It is not worth answering such beings.
oppression of any person and of any form is never a joke. no matter if it is aimed at women, gays etc. if you ridicule oppression by saying it was a joke, you help the oppressor.
Oppression must be comparative. If there's no comparison, how could one claim that this country's women are more oppressed than another without any sort of comparative data. After all, those who claimed to be oppressed might be only expressing their own personal opinions.
The worst part is that they have still got incredibly double social standard for women... Like you need to be less educated, short but not too short (yes they have a specific height of 168cm for that), will cook and give birth to children, under the age of 30, good-looking and be a virgin when you get married. There will be a strong discrimination for a girl if she does not satisfy any of the above, what's even worse? The entire society is just normal to turn against her in any circumstances such as violence in marriage and even rape.
no such thing. Men become more attractive as they advance their careers. Women become less attractive as they age, until they reach the point where no man wants them and they are classed as left overs.
I don't know the chinese word but they use the term 'dead branches' for men. Those who will never produde fruit cause they can't find wives. Sadly, a lot of chinese men have resorted to human trafficking to solve their problems, buying or stealing women from other regions.
@@ChronosKat i am not arguing that undesirable men do not exist - they do. but there is a difference between being undesirable and being left-over. when a woman gets older and after he looks fade, there is very little she can do to attract a man as men do not select women based on income, status, etc. men on the other hand can still increase their desirable qualities (money, status) and attract women after they have aged. They are never considered left-over because they can always improve their attractiveness to women.
@Angel Rose *BS now the same men are complaining that the is no women left for men karma 😂😂 men are desperate for women in China hahahah* there is a difference between being left-over and there simply not being enough women. left-over women exist despite the fact that there are more men than women in china. this because after a woman's looks fade, after she becomes old, after she can not have kids anymore, they become invisible to men. It doesn't matter that there is not enough women to go around, men are just not interested in women after they get old. and there is no remedy for getting old, losing your beauty, losing your fertility. that is why they are "left-over". you can hate on men all you want but that does not change the fact that men and women are different, and the tools each has to attract a mate are different. the tools women have to attract a male have an expiration date, and past that date they become left-overs that no man wants. the tools men have to attract women do not expire, and if a man is considered undesirable to a woman he can always work to improve his money/status and become desirable to women.
Oh, good, I'm glad this video touches upon the fact that men so greatly outnumber women in China now. This means that women can now afford to be pickier. The men, however, are going to have to try harder.
no dear it means old unwanted girls will have to train boys and never experience the 7 year itch when they want to leave, no young guy with options will ever stay with a older girl more then a year usually. you can't be this in denial, men are not waiting for old girls these days, old men will date you though, if your around 26-35 i tell women look to men close to 50 or boys under 25 who want u for free. thats your choices today. men try harder for older women?? omg u can't be this lost.then again u probally don't have a passport and don't grasp that asian men don't put up with it at all. have never nor never will.
hilarious right, men will try harder for old frumpy women? women don't grasp yet that they didnt give it away for free in modern times no they must work and pay for it today and get less for it. its the most ironic joke going and men get to laugh.
Supply and demand, folks. If there are twice as many men as there are women, half the men aren't getting laid, *especially* if they won't date older women. But keep trying to convince yourself. Good luck finding someone. :)
You left out the part where in cultural revolution where 50 million to 100 million people were slaughtered during the cultural revolution. You paint a rosy picture of the cultural revolution, but in reality it was the most bloody in the history of the world.
Because after marriage they have to get pregnant to have a children, take care of them as well as in a lot of cases take care of the parents of the husband.
Old comment, but in China being married means having kids and taking care of your husbands family. That means, no time for pursuing career. It's sad, really.
They can. They just feel pressured to get married. I think this complaining is lame. Just don't get married, and especially don't have kids. China has 1.5 Billion people. Seriously, give the breeding a break.
I've heard that women are berated and cruelly pressured into "resigning" if they are in the family way... I would like to hear from someone there though... Is this true??
without him the women in china won't have any basic rights we see today, such as calling for a divorce. The first law passed by PRC was the marriage law, surprisingly, isn't it.
I'm a Chinese American guy at 5'11 turned 40 last year, would love to find a woman of equal or taller height. Strong, independent, and smart women are actually a major turn on for me. I don't want someone who stands silently beside me, I want someone who speaks her mind and pushes forward. That's quite difficult from my personal experience, why can't more women be like that here?
I get ashamed a lot of time for speaking my mind and loving to have conversations about philosophy and other topics. Intelligent women get so much shit that we at the end of the day try to never be vulnerable in front of people especially men. Good luck trying to get the trust of a intelligent women lol
Wow this makes me sad. I lived in China for half a year and had no idea this was going on while I was there. I don't understand why their requirements are so superficial??? Like why would I care if a man has a car and a house or whatever, when I already have those things, or could get those things myself. I remember being on a date in China, and after the guy kept bragging about his materialistic things, I simply replied with "Oh, that's nice. Good on you for working hard to earn those things." After that he got mad that I wasn't impressed, and asked what I wanted in a man. After I told him I wanted someone funny, positive, smart, and who loves me, he reacted much like how the people in the video reacted to the interviewer's ideal type. I just thought he was a douchebag, but boy I was wrong. I don't hate the men though, I hate their society that causes the men to adopt such a misogynistic and superficial mentality. This mentality is detrimental to men too, and causes them to over compensate for material things due to all the competiton. Not to mention the men's options are already very limited with there being way more men than women, so why was a stigma of being so picky and belittling women who don't fit their requirements created. If anything shouldn't they want a working woman who can help provide so that way all the financial struggles isn't just burdened on him??? Some things I'll guess I just never understand.
How is it even "feminist" when women don't want to marry just because of their parents and fulfill the duty of giving children? We are not talking about 15th century colonialism but the modern world.
This is so controversial... Everyone should be free to choose the person with whom live and love, and actually... Making a family should be a choice as well. There should be chemistry between lovers that both of them would enjoy, if not then please, don't marry. I bet there are many people who want to find their second orange and nobody can find. Don't worry, you are not alone, there are millions of people in your situation...
im an american dude and i have a 26 y/o female chinese friend who wants to pursue medical engineering and she routinely asks for my advice on this topic. i basically tell her that she should make her own choice and not let her parents influence her - that is the american way. the truth is, idk if that is good advice. Westerners sound all nice and goodhearted when they say "Go for it! Don't fall for the pressure! Be yourself!" The reality is though, that advice is probably more damning than helpful. My advice for her is only good advice if she can achieve permanent residency in America. If she is forced to live in China after her education, then I think it is bad advice.
I am from traditional Indian family..... I believe parents advice is the best and Always American way is too bad.... As it created failed family system
Tingting is role model for us all. Her courage, commitment and compassion for the equal rights of women, despite the huge risks to her own rights, is truly inspirational.
So in reality it's left over men that caused by preferences for sons. Then because of quality of economy has improved live of women. Women are preferring to stay single rather than marrying and taking care of male family with no real return except for being consider a house wife.
I see this in a lot of countries. I'm 24 and I'm already being asked by relatives about when I'll get married. The pressure is scary. I just got out of college for Pete's sake!
The gender imbalance is not caused by one-child policy, it's caused by Chinese traditional gender discrimination. One-child policy made a whole generation of girls raised as the only daughter in the family, they got the chance to become educated and independent women, they can decide what they want for their own life, and that's an improvement. If there weren't the policy, if the girls had a brother or brothers, they wouldn't have had the same chance and the same power like they have today. Even though the discrimination still exist nowadays, more and more chinese women are aware about it and fighting against it.
every country unfortunately have these problem hopefully in the future women n men willbe more equal , after living in china 6 years , been many villages . i see chinese women are much more stronger than many women in midd east , south america even in europe , so i believe chinese women will make a change in the near future
It's sad how so many are buying into the lies of feminism. Being ashamed of their femininity and thinking that they should be behaving like men. There is a reason women are becoming more and more unhappy. Because men are not equal to women.
Actually this happen all over the world not only in China. It happens where feminism and gender equality ideology get stronger. Modern (women) society.
Appreciate this informative documentary! However, some parts were overly dramaticized, some additions: 1) While it is true that there exist an inequal number of men and women in China, there is a large urban-rural divide, meaning that cities (such as Beijing) saw fewer abortions of girls. This is partially due to financial security in the city and more job opportunities for women. 2) Researchers have now "found" some of the "missing women", girls who were born in secret and were not reported to state governments. While these girls were not aborted or killed, they also don't have any legal rights (such as education, free movement, marriage, etc.) Overall, a good documentary that also shows men's challenge in becoming "financially attractive" and successful to find wives. The whole feminism debate in China really is much more multi-layered than meets the eye...
From abandoning and aborting baby girls to later calling them "left over women", pressuring them and guilting them to run into marriages that they don't want
"Leftover women" in Chinese is "剩女Sheng Nü" (pronounced ShenNyu). The video said "匈奴 Xiong Nu" which means nomadic peoples that once invaded the Han Dynasty. lmao
_"They were sent back to the kitchen when the men came back from war."_ No. Back then, families did not need two people working. You only needed one person working to support the family. Men were the ones to do that, and women were allowed to stay home and take care of the kids, so they didn't need to spend money on a nanny. "Staying in the kitchen" was a privilege that most people in all of human history did not have, and feminists raged over that exceptionally rare luxury, lol.
Ouu yeaaa.. and then the other day you will call them a hoe who depend on the man without make their own money. Whatever women did, man like you will always try to find your way to blame everything on woman. If a womann looking for man financial, you will say they are gold digger, but then when they work for themself to get money, then you say, women supposed in the kitchen and mann make the money for then. Bullcrap!
@@owwtelegramstalkerstoh3182no we call them a hoe when they’re sleeping around. If you’re required to pay for everything but she will open her legs for someone else she’s a hoe
1:35. An apple has been called the derogatory term "fruit"...it is interested that the documentary has a clear conclusion right at the start. I have been living in China for several years and I have been literally chased by many of these "leftovers". Most of them are far from independent, and they have rejected perfectly good men in their younger years, and instead went playing with lao wais (foreigners).When they reach their late 30s they find out that these foreigners are gone, there is no american or european visa, and the locals who used to chase them are long married...for some years they desperately try to get back to the game, chasing foreigners in a very obvious manner, but they are too old and too in a hurry to get married...so they end up alone.
so true, same thing happening in India. 10 yrs back I met a girl who rejected me saying I didnt make enough money and never had a girlfriend. She is not 35+ and not married and had close to 35+ boyfriends.
Some do find themselves much much older gents from the West and marry them. It's embarrassing to look at but hey, if he's deluded enough and she's desperate enough, good luck to both of them
Due to the 1-child-policy and female infanticide Chine has WAY more men then women. On every single woman comes around 5 or more single man. Yet it is only the single WOMEN who are brandmarked as "leftovers"
11:11 They are talking about how men are not considered left over but at the beginning they were talking about how there is substantial pressure on men to get married to continue the family line. I am certain families put immense pressure on their son to get married but they don't seem to want to and they should be free to choose their own route in life too.
Idk why that like getting signed up to be judged if a person is a suitable partner shit isn't seen the same way as dating apps in the U.S, all of this stuff is so dystopian
I appreciate that this examines this social issue through the lens of the individual, but also through the narrative of class struggle that is still a major driving force in Chinese society.
I wonder why don't they encourage both marriage and a career? If marriage is still promoted as a dead end (being the transaction it is still), it's no wonder why they have this issues of people not finding couples. Instead of saying "marriage is your chance at happiness", they should change the discourse to "career and marriage can go together"
Just finished watching the one about men in China not marrying (2017) & now this about women not marrying (2015). Everybody's under some kinda societal pressure! I see now the importance to teach kids to be aware of their societal climate but to learn to think for themselves too. Also how advertising can influence ppl too!
Wow how can the men afford to picky when they GREATLY out number women just find a woman you like and get married simple but they want young and cute while not having much to offer themselves LOL.
This is everywhere in the world. It's here in Singapore and back home in Pakistan. When I got married, my wife was 26 years old. The worthless majority in my family told me it was a mistake to marry an education career-driven person, much less one that crossed the age of 20. From the day she turned 18, my wife's family subtly directed her towards finding a spouse and considering proposals.
It interests me how in the west, when females are asked what they look for in a spouse, they answer with qualities (reserved, outgoing, humorous, intelligent). With my Chinese relatives (and from what I gauged in this video), they care more about worldly possessions than anything.
"i dont like being judged at this park with dinossaurs" --------- "I'm looking for somedoby who will make me laugh, and who's intelligent, and who reads a lot of books". Oh, the irony.
oh please, the problem is even though there are more men than women in china, 99% of the women are looking for that top 10% of men. Of course by this standard they will never find a husband. Parents need to accept the fact that society is changing. There is nothing wrong with staying single or simple living together
2018. And we still say Africa is oppressive to women, but see China, a developed nation still calling women leftovers!!!! We as African women have a loong way to go, but we shall keep the fight.
i love how these ladies are speaking about how strong, independent and proud they are but in the same time speaking with sadness in theyr voices and sound of oppression :D
Being partially Chinese, this is so interesting to watch. I'm a middle-class, college educated female. In the social groups I run around it, it's looked down upon to be a housewife or to get married young. My cousin was 23 when she got married, and we all looked at her like she was insane. I'm from the USA, so the environment I've grown up in is different (although there are pockets in the US where it is the norm to get married young and have children before 22). Thanks for this documentary.
I'm sorry for your situation. My daughter is a professional with a doctorate degree but she's also a young mom ( she's 27 so she isn't THAT young), but she's also really glad she has me, an early retired grandma to her kids, and I'm m age 46 so I'm still young enough to watch her twins so she doesn't have to worry about daycare. I'm glad I had her when I was only 19 because now I can be of use to her.
Haha they think Mao thought women could hold up half the sky :D He wanted to ship 10 million of them to America, even offered them to Nixon because he thought they were pariahs, good for nothing but breeding, that's why communists decided to break up the family and force women into the workforce, so they would no longer be useless pariahs in his eyes. His quote was more along the lines of "women could hold up half the sky" because he has a plan for them, and boy did he do it. Instead of sending them to America he decided to do the one child policy, creating more men, it was only after he died and China changed directions that they actually cared about a lot of sexually frustrated young men in their midst, because if the Arab spring is anything to go by, it never ends well. Had China not changed direction post-Mao then these men would have been an asset to the country, now they are the disposable ones, but what women fail to understand is that even if they don't want a man, these men can still work just fine, they have their hentai, their prostitutes, their money, and they are much more competitive in the workforce than men, even when men are pushed down and women dragged up in communist societies like they are today, they are still more competitive and better workers, so go on, forgo childbirth and a family because your standards are too high, but don't be surprised when it blows up in your face. Also, holy Jesus the Beijing accent in rancid.
so funny and weird to hear this. My dad told me basically every day that i could do what ever I wanted and that my mother was the toughest person he's ever known. I always rolled my eyes as in 'Duh!' But now have a whole new appreciation for it.
I am a Asian male, a feminist, and I'll choose to ignore biased opinions about being an Asian male. Chinese society is changing and these leftover men will inevitably have to covet the fact that there are successful women in society who are single with a shortage of women. Currently, China is at the crossroads of 1920 western socio-economic position and the hyper-behemoth that is our internet age. We cannot expect China to improve every aspect of their society over night. People need to realize that it's been merely 30-40 years since China's opening up. I think taking care of China's economic inequality and absolute poverty (which the government has pledged as its top priorities) will pave the way for women to further liberalize. However, I want to object to something here. I don't think it is bad for society to encourage women to get married.
I don't understand how women can be scarce, yet considered leftoverrs.
Because good men are scarce too.
you're like a virus in this comment section holy shit
let's say there are 5 grades of women and men (A to E) with E being the least desirable. it's true that there are fewer women than men but if A and B grade women wait too long before they get married, all the A and B grade men will be taken. Apparently, these women won't consider C, D and E grade men.
In short, it's a mismatch problem. This is why there are leftover desirable women while the poorest men are marrying Vietnamese or other SE Asian women.
It is because they don't settle down and hit the wall of 30+ and everything we know about biology and nature tells us they are past their prime.
+c0re yeah women don't do shit when they hit 30. In fact all my life goals and plans only extend to 30 years of age since we just lie down and die obviously.
desperate and picky? that's an interesting combo lmao
Picky beggars lmao
Right?
Becca... Becca shut your left over ass up. Just here to boost your own ego.
Clearly they aren’t desperate 😴 I think it’s their parents using that term and the documentary making it seem like that ☕️😴
Lol...😂😂😂. I am confused about this ironically speaking.. its very simple solution if they adopt “ when the desirable is unavailable, the available becomes desirable “.
First of all, I'm a guy from China. Most of the things in the video but not all are true. I just want to point out how media can "missed" some slight mistake and drastically change viewers' opinions.
First of all, "leftover girls" in this video is a translation of "剩女“. But there is also a term called "剩男”, which is "leftover boys". What's said in the video "but they don't label men as leftover" is totally incorrect. If you google "剩男剩女" or “剩女剩男”, you'll find as least as many "剩男” as, if not more than "剩女“. This video just chose to pass on the "leftover boys" part to make this term more like a single-sided gender issue. It is not the Chinese society against strong independent women and men, but it's the Chinese culture against unmarried but "should-have-been-married" women and men. People are expected to get married. I don't understand why we should. But China has a family-oriented history of thousands of years long, and it may not go away easily. One another note, I think it is a good thing that more and more "剩男剩女" appear, which is quite a natural result of women and men are getting more and more educated, independent, and knowing more about what they want in their relationships. Leftover women and men, don't let the willingness to settle for anything kick in. You are independent. Why would stereotypes matter anyway?
Domestic violence is something really need to end. But the video doesn't emphasize this. The stereotype of women should rely on men is quite common in China and other places. Recently in China, there is quite a controversy about a video of a female speaker telling her audience, mostly female, how they should be submissive. It's sad how she has become "herself", and how she believes it and keep the chain going. Girls, take good care of yourselves, and don't rely on anyone to take care of you. End the relationship as soon as you find it unequal. (Guys also)
Last but not least, over the years, I have become more and more aware of how evil our media are. Misleading information gradually creates misunderstanding, which then inflames hatred and conflict, and then killings and wars. I see a comment "I don't understand how women can be scarce, yet considered leftoverrs." That's a good sign of a thinker. To be yourself, start from critically think about the daily information fed to us.
Thank you for saying these things! I was going crazy because of the inaccurate portrayal in this documentary. The interviewer is Swedish and I recognize her "cultural bias", what she's thinking behind her questions. I've been living in Sweden for 30 years so I know how things are here. It's practically a crime to NOT call your self a feminist in Sweden, whether you're man or a woman, and especially if you're a politician. My Swedish daughter is now living and working in China.
@@lynninpain so i guess you are from the country side? Do you even realise how big China is? Do you even realise how biased yours own media over there is?
It really doesn't matter that much, what you call biased, its about what you call present. If you have that issues, and if you deny it, well that is your problem.. not ours so we could care less.
Still human traffiking is a world wide issue.. but nvm. You must not have it. It depends on the region. But you dont get that.
I feel media everywhere is like this. Lots of money goes into studies to get people to do what 'they' (the magical they that is them) want. It's plastered everywhere so you are bombarded no matter where you go.
I was happy to see your opinion on the matter. And don't listen to those who say 'that's your problem, nobody cares'. #@!& Them! I care! I've never talked to anyone worth talking to that didn't. We are one world and what happens on the opposite side from where you are will effect us all.
May we get through this garbage to make it as a species.
Its funny how most "indenpendent, educated and strong wahmen" in the comments implicates pathriarchy in their comments, they even reply comments sharing that biased mindset, the comments that they reply are popular but they even take the time to agree with low popularity comments that are way harder to find in the comment section than this one, but they don't reply to this one. A clear example of feminism(3rd wave) strong bias. The colective that is most easy to brainwash is always the one that is told that they have rights that aren't respected and is respected for other colectives, just like this content.
Holy fuck this is very insightful, thank you so much for this
'Young, never married, and pretty', what about funny, loyal, intelligent or kind? That sounds like a marriage doomed to end up sexless and loveless.
that's how a lot of relationships in China are, many of them marry because of the societal pressure to have a family, not necessarily because they like each other. It's also part of the reason China's population is so large, couples marry and have children regardless of how they feel about each other.
Are extramarital affairs common?
Yep.
Then you are married to a female funny, loyal, intelligent and kind verion of Quasimodo. No thank you. Looks matter, and they do to you. Admit it.
I never said looks didn't matter at all, I just said that loyalty, humor and intelligence matter a little more to me. And trust me, Ive dated some beautiful people with no substance and its just tiring, its like you're dating a doll. They're beautiful but have nothing to say so they're so boring to be around. I do also have plenty of female and male friends who are average to very good looking who also have substance, humor and are interesting people, so physical and mental attractiveness don't always have to be mutually exclusive.
This is definitely an unspoken problem I'm only too familiar with. The ideal Chinese girl is pretty, healthy, never married, a virgin, filial, and if your parents were born before 1950, your star sign and name have to be 'compatible'. Obviously in this day and age this is pretty rare, but girls are still expected to conform to this bizarre and fantastical ideal. Even my parents who are pretty 'westernised' still can't shed their expectations. They brought me up to be competitive and career orientated, and now in my early 20s I'm fulfilling all my goals in those areas, but they're now suddenly changing their views in what I should be. Everyday I'm told that I should be more 'feminine', and I kid you not they have told me to wear dresses and skirts more often, to be a 小女人 when I speak to men, to not be so dominant and competitive in front of men. I really can't accept their words and I'm proud to be called a 女强人 no matter what others say.
Stay single, my friend.
earn yourself a great career doing what you love, then find love for someone you truly care about. 💪 just do what you think is right for yourself
Agree, I guess you know about MGTOW too.
+Manoffriendship
You did not read what she wrote, did you?
i feel like we're on the same boat. my mom is okay with me being more career oriented, and my dad 100% supports it. however, the second i hit my 20's my mom will start pushing marriage into my life, telling me i'll only ever be happy and successful if i'm married with children. it's going to be a real shocker when i tell her i'm bisexual & an atheist lmaoooo
my chinese teacher once told us about this issue, She was a second child during the one child policy, so she told us that her parents paid an anual fine/tax for having her, and they told her and encouraged her to study in a foreign country to reach a happy life without social pressures that could go uppon her by being a second child and a woman who wants a carreer. she told us her parents loved her so much and wanted her to experience life. She's been out of china for 15 years and even if she miss her family she says she's happy and grateful for the family she got. another chinese teacher I got said He was also happy to be just free of looking for a bride, and that he doesn't feel the pressure of having a big house, a car and a big bank account. It's a problem for both sides.
No mention of the practice of sons living with their parents and wife moving in to take care of them. That's one of the reasons for female infanticide. Parents of a girl would end up dying alone with no support. The government never addressed this issue. No social security or nursing homes until recently. Still it affects women greatly.
Ramona O'Meally
Inlaws can be fucked up
Ramona O'Meally Because the man's family paid a dowry (large sum of money) to buy their 'servant' aka wife. Even though I would not be able to be forced to move in and take care of future in-laws, I'd never ask my parents to ask for a dowry because they'll always think they can control you. I'm good earning my own money and psychologically having my own freedom.
ltz888 "Because the man's family paid a dowry (large sum of money) to buy their 'servant' aka wife."
Wrong. A dowry is money that the bride's family gives their daughter to support herself in her new family. When the husband's family pays for the "wife," that's not a dowry, it's a bride price, and that's not a Chinese marital convention.
ltz888 sorry but can you be more polite by not say that they are a servant. Please use more proper word, like dishwasher for example. Hehe.
Yeah, I think that is the main problem. But most reasonable husband would accommodate his wife's family too. It is a reasonable expectation.
To my Chinese sisters: Stay strong. Your toughness is your beauty. You are not left-over or "less than". You are beautiful and inspiring just the way you are! *hugz* from America! Peace.
they are left overs, that is all.
looool
In hindsight , women there kind of have the upper hand, due to the one child policy and therefore too many males ration to women. So women can be more selective
piglette0928
*In hindsight , women there kind of have the upper hand, due to the one child policy and therefore too many males ration to women. So women can be more selective*
In theory women have more choices, but in reality this is not the case. The cold hard truth is that men are not interested in marrying old women.
Monika Sa
*maybe we should start judging men on the matter of "slut" terminology?*
I think they already do, well, are tying to at least.
Women tried calling sexually promiscuous men sluts and man-whores for a while, but neither men or women cared very much about this. No matter what they were called, men were still proud that they were getting lots of sex from women, and women were still pursuing these men for marriage. The latest term I have heard is "fuck boy", but it seems like whatever term is used, people still don't care.
This is because men and women are *different*. Men are the buyers of sex, and women are the sellers of it. Men have to work to get sex from women, and women simply pay men with sex. Men have to prove their worth in order to get sex from women, and women simply decide which men are worthy of sex from them.
When a man has sex with several different women, this means several different women have seen him as worthy of sex from them. He has been screened by several women for worthiness, and all of them said yes. This is why sex increases a man's value.
When a woman has sex with several different men, she has decided that several different men are worthy of sex from her. She would not have chosen to have sex with them if she thought that these men were below her value, so this means that she must have been below their value. This is why the more sex she has, the less value she has.
Men and women are different biologically, and that is why sexually promiscuous behavior is viewed differently depending on whether they are male of female. It is based on the biological differences between men and women. Men and women are not the same.
Slut shaming isn't something that men and women both use because deep down they all hate women. It is because men and women are different by nature.
The only reason feminists claim that slut-shaming is done because men and women have deep rooted misogyny, is to encourage women to hate men.
If you want to watch a video that explains the actual biological reasons (as opposed to the logical reasons I have provided here) then I recommend you check out the video "TL;DR - A Biological Reason? Slut Shaming".
There's nothing new here, but it's always shocking to me to hear of how it's the same all over the world. Women are told to be "strong" when it suits men's agenda, and "soft" when it doesn't. And it's always decided for us, what femininity really means... my takeaway, though, is just how bright and hopeful and resilient these Chinese women are! To think Wang Zheng turned out to be the girl in those movies! It heartened me and gave me hope in my own life to see them. I'll always be a fan!!
Female hypergamy has been revealed by science at this point. Women initiate 80% of all divorces. On Tinder women swipe acceptance only 15% of the time, and rate 80% of men as below average. This is the historical mate choice pattern with humans, and true of Chimpanzees as well (link below).
This means 100% of women are chasing 20% of men. What is initially desired is a tall/attractive high status male with charisma (but in youth just 'hot' may do), and later they want 'the provider' to come with status and a bank account, so an alpha male becomes optional as a female ages and seeks security. This whole process is often exacerbated by baby rabies. 90% of women view any man (excepting the top 1-3%...maybe) as merely a placeholder in the equation for their dream fulfillment and entitlement, and generally without regard for anything he wants.
In a legal marriage in the present day, a man submits himself in the same way that he forfeits his rights when he joins the military. Your choice and equality exists until the marriage license is signed and filed.
Sperm banks, what women choose when they have complete control
ruclips.net/video/pidF40AzzQI/видео.html
Recap and succinct proof
1] Women initiate 80% of all divorces for the lottery style payout.
2] 100% of women rate 80% of men as below average.
3] Women are far more status and money oriented than men.
4] Here is a succinct summary of the data/proof:
Gender Attraction Differential
ruclips.net/video/7vqRbScCIPU/видео.html
With your half-baked comment obliterated, you are left a boring solipsistic mega-whiner.
Good thing they weren't forced and brainwashed to be strong and die on warzones, because that would be extra spicy.
Amrita Ramesh, I guess you missed the part about the men who are shoved aside in society and considered "undesirable," for similar reasons, like not owning property in Beijing, not having a "good enough" job, etc. And you also seemed to have missed the part where the expert on the issue also said that men are not happy in this situation either. Actually, this *is* a new phenomenon, and absolutely not the same thing all over the world. Stop trying to use every single situation to fit your lazy, identity politics victim narrative. Inequality & discrimination are real issues in many societies around the world. You're being counter-productive by lazily saying that it's "all the same."
You are not married, right?!
Your hair says allot
That older Chinese lady is so eloquent in her thoughts and answers. I'm glad my parents chose to migrate from Chinese to Australia - this sort of society doesn't quite exist in Sydney.
That old woman isn't eloquent, she is a delusional marxist. The left over women in this video aren't victims of a woman-hating society, they are entitled women who have made poor life choices.
+Gabriel Lewicki either you're really passionate about this issue or you're an Internet troll. You've commented on so many comments in this thread I'm starting to question your motive. Plus your answers are mainly blanket statements generalising the experience of leftover women. Unless you're one of them or had done intense research and studies on this topic, don't go around painting everyone with the same brush.
Primped and Primed
*either you're really passionate about this issue or you're an Internet troll. You've commented on so many comments in this thread I'm starting to question your motive. Plus your answers are mainly blanket statements generalising the experience of leftover women. Unless you're one of them or had done intense research and studies on this topic, don't go around painting everyone with the same brush.*
How about instead of attempting to invalidate what I have said, you address my comment with a counter-argument.
Cause the comment you have left here just makes it look like you are trying to stifle an opposing view, because you are incapable of refuting it.
greenabyss
*douchebag's also into 2d porn, which is why he's so "passionately" anti-women. he salty*
That's not an argument bro.
+Gabriel Lewicki Change every "woman" word and replace it with "man" then it would somehow be weird.
People can experience the world before settling down, because you do realise that Marriage is a huge life commitment??? People have thrown away dreams and aspirations for Marriage. In this time and age, especially in a Modernise country, it should be normal for woman to marry older. A woman would studies high education won't have time for anything else if you mean you have to get married before 25. Marrisge at 26-30 is still the best option in any soical context. Both genders should be free to pursue their shit before having to settle down, because raising a child requires a lot of effort for many years. So dude, your thinking is kinda backwards in our globalised world.
And here I am at 25 not wanting to even think of marriage and having kids. By the way, by Mexican standards in my town, I'm also considered a "leftover woman"
HelloDarling! Yo creo que es lo mejor, muchas de las parejas que se casaron jóvenes tienen pésimas relaciones y muchas terminan divorciandose. Es mejor esperar a ser suficientemente maduro no?
I’m Mexican myself as well and I’m 24 With no kids and not even married but I not looking for that any time soon. Most of my friends are married with kids or simply together with kids others are single parents too so yeah I’m one of them hand full that haven’t settle down yet
I am 26, I am from an African country so... I am old kkkk
When I lived in DF (soy un gringo achilangado) I always dated women that were older than you. Educated, professional, able to approach the relationship as an equal friend. Esa me gusta.
The cultural aspect that gave the most problems was “Malinche” I liked women that were proud of their Mexican culture.
HelloDarling! Dude I’m a Chicana with Mexican parents. I grew up witnessing domestic abuse and economic abuse. Not only between my parents but the neighborhood ladies as well. They all married and had kids at a young age. I won’t do that. I don’t plan to ever be married or have children. Have a life partner male or woman for sure. But I like being free and the machismo and homophobia in Mexican culture is making me move to SF for my studies.
Numerically speaking, there are zero leftover women. There are 20m leftover boys.
That's where the real issue lie, because if you type left over men on youtube, you actually find docus of left over men (You don't need to type Chinese with it), but in this "documentary", it feeds you the idea that only the women are labeled as such.
Not if none of the men wants them. Then they are indeed leftovers.
Numerically speaking this is inaccurate
Shhhh! Don't tell the menfolk! You'll hurt they're egos!
Which can overthrow any government. 🤔
As a Somali woman, I can relate to all of this. Age discrimination is so real against women, and any woman above 25 is considered too old for marriage. It's sad.
that's so true. what a time to be alive
should've taken men seriously instead of taking selfies and partying now you can be easily replaced by a 18 yr old
***** lol you're soo uneducated. Men don't age like wine. They look MUCH older because they can't look after themselves properly. And those who do and go for young women really delude themselves.
Biologically? You believe bullshit theories which just defend pigs who really just want polygamy? If it was nature, most humans would do it but it happens only in backward and uneducated societies.
Humans are another species which are meant to find lifelong partners. And this doesn't include someone half your age. You say reality, when really you live a sad delusion. No sane young woman is attracted to the guy who looks and IS her fathers age. You can't change reality.
Gh Senior it is the newer kids taking selfies. Replaced by 18 yr olds? You want children to manipulate and bone only? Yeah you sound like a crappy catch. 😂
sorry twit, i know your hurting but men like me age like wine, I've been having with a few 36 and 31 year olds and I'm 40, they both think I'm like 27-30 years old, they look like milk with mold on it while i look like I'm still brand dam new.
women today are not popular with men, your popular wit old men and young boys looking for a oldie (mid twenty something) party girl to train on as they are sick of the vapid mental midgets that 20 year old girls are.
Coco Pops my point isn't that your interesting in old men my point is you don't have options.
your 30 sure you can find some fuck n chucks that will shag you but if you want a traditional guy to look after you at all you'll have to around 30 look to men maybe not 50 but def in there mid 40s.
this is how it is today, date who ever but you'll be in a dutch experience, you'll pay hell pay, u want tradition you'll have to go much older.
its not the 90s anymore sweetheart, hurts doesn't it.
The marriage market in China is creepy, marriage has turned into a superficial competition with men looking for youth and beauty, while women search for money and security. And everything else is secondary.
mekalunia
Don't be delusional. That's how it is today generally. Especially in The West such as the United States. Men like young hot chicks and women like resources. You don't get attracted nor look at a guy solely on personality. As a matter of fact it's secondary. Anyone who says no is lying.
Robert Marr 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
It's like that in all of Asia
Good for them. Too many pf those people on our planet
It’s the same with online dating in general and the evolutionary process of humans. This has been going on for centuries and is nothing new. Women are hypergamous, and men want to spread their seed. What’s changed is that we added so much extra B.S. to relationship expectations in a hyper hedonistic world that peoples egos are so inflated. Reality doesn’t set in until much later, if and when people grow up and stop stroking their egos.
Finding a man who can hold an intelligent conversation on a range of topics, reads, wants to get married, and isn't a conspiracy theorist is harder than it should be.
Lmao no for real
That’s your problem right there, if he’s intelligent he’ll realize marriage is a scam
“Isn’t a conspiracy theorist” LMAO
@@KillerKatt66 true why would.anymen want to loose 50% of his wealth
LOL. True. I'm married but I've seen many women and men complaining about the conspiracy theorists.
So twenty million men are going to die alone but career women who missed the boat are the great tragedy?
Yes, a tragedy on social perspective.
Because these woman are well educated, intelligent, and financially strong woman who could be the mother of china's future generation. Their children is likely to be more productive and valuable to society, because they are capable of providing better education and environment, than those come from less privileged families.
Also, in their pursue to give the kids the 'best', it creates markets and drives spending, which means improved economy.
Chinese government ain't dumb, they won't push the agenda against the up raising feminism tide if there ain't any thing in it.
7uci4er
A comment in perfect keeping with your moniker, that is honestly one of the most grotesque things I have ever read on youtube and that really saying something.
nope! thou it sounded grotesques, I believe the Chinese government actually learned something from the one child policy.
Many Chinese sociologist believes 'one child' is a case of social engineering gone wrong. Coz during that period, people in the city working for the government and state owned companies only had one child and selective abortion is banned, while at the country side, selective abortion is common and families with several kids are common in some of the poorest regions.
That have arguable consequences on many of China's now perceived problems, including gender ratio imbalance, influx of country side people into the cities, the growing low income population, 'stay at home children' where both the parents are out working in cities and kids stay with grandparents at the country side, just to name a few.
So it is logical for Chinese government try to push agendas that they believe will right it's cause, while avoiding another social engineering policy.
After all, China, a country only founded on the end of 1949, and by the 50's they've surpassed many countries on gender equality agenda. Do you really think a certain agenda can dominate the media when it's against what the government want, even the slightest?
7uci4er
I think the Chinese government has conditioned you well, you seem to be able to glaze over the human costs and justify the tragedy as some kind of necessary sacrifice to the Gods of GDP. People are not just a means to an ends as your government (and perhaps now its citizens too) clearly seem to think, they have actual fears, hopes and dreams. Even if these women don't get their fairy tale ending they will still have access to money, regular sex and employment opportunities. What exactly do the men have to look forward to?
Unfortunately the Chinese haven't have chance to put anything in my mind yet.
Some people are brought up thinking human, themselves are something special. Maybe seeing as an individual you are, but seeing from a group, you are just a dot on paper, a number in a board sense, to any government in the world.
And unlike a country where the new leader can just throw what the previous one done out of the window, like Obama's healthcare and trump's wall. the Chinese government don't have a revolving door, they have to clean up they own shit, therefore they have to look into the future more than others.
So while you focusing on the happy, sad of the 20 million minorities, CCP have to look at the bigger picture. How to afford utilities and infrastructures to them along with the others, who live in some of the poorest regions in the next 20 years? How to afford their age care and healthcare in the next 40 years? The answer is definitely not with a diminishing workforce.
Plus, there's no solution to the marriage issue when one gender's clearly in abundance, what can they do? Allowing polygamy?
Dear China, send us your professional women. Love, USA
Tom Ramirez hahahaha
Please!
BAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! you wish! those women are strong and independent, itis not China's fault, it is their stupid sturbon headed clingling dependent parents!
the Chinese girls already here are not worth it either.
@ they are not worth it? lol, it sounds like you can't get any.
My grandmother once asked me to let her hold a great grandchild before she dies.
I asked her if "me being in a miserable marriage is an ok trade for her moment of joy."
+Ze Li And then she died of heart pain.
Ze Li that's one of the saddest things I've ever heard, for both of you. Her moment of joy would respresent stability for you, the freedom for you to not have to go out to work (the pressure would be off you) and the continuation of the family. I bet she thought it would mean you'd be happily married and be overjoyed to have your own baby etc... it's also desperately sad that you feel like marriage and children equates to misery. Far from being selfish, I think your grandma was looking out for your best interests, as she saw them, so while I can understand that you don't feel the same way, I still think it's sad that she heard that.
Ze Li wtf is wrong with you?
You all are attacking her for saying the right thing.
Hellybelle, did you forget that 50% of men abuse their wives? Is that what you call happiness?
I'm so glad that Broadly is also addressing gender equality around the world, rather than just focusing on the current storm of Feminism in the west.
+Aii Suri LOL you think men and women are equal?..We are different for a reason... To say we are equal is pretty funny.
+T LUCk COmpany Elaborate.
+T LUCk Company Explain your statement please.
+T LUCk COmpany Physically, yes we are different. Inherently, we are both HUMAN BEINGS capable of many things. Men are able to wash dishes and change diapers, women can be engineers and fly planes. Women have just as much intrinsic value as men.
were is the inequality? I don't see it
I feel like they could have chosen a different host for this documentary. She doesn't have any grasp on Mandarin at all and I was kind of peeved by her calling what is daily, cultural activities in China as "people doing weird things." (at 8:33)
Plus, I find it very hard to believe that if translated properly, he would have had a hard time understanding what she said at 15:12. What she said wasn't out of place at all! I'm thinking of how the sentence, "someone who can make me laugh, is intelligent and read lots of books" would have sounded in Mandarin and it is absurdly basic. My parents watch tons of Chinese dating shows and this kind of sentence is said countless times by female participants. The confused face the host was making was clearly because she was speaking English in a country where that isn't the norm. While the documentary is very good, there are a lot of Western biases here that I'm not a fan of.
Also, joining the dating event was kind of insensitive for the poor guy she ended up being paired with considering that she wasn't there as a serious participant.
All my same thoughts!
Wow, I feel like she’s an amazing host. The low part of the documentary was probably when she said that ppl were doing “weird things” around her, because she just wasn’t familiar with that part of Chinese life-which I personally think is a very charming part of China.
I think that this interview was mostly targeted at Western audiences though, and so having her as the host also provides some amount of familiarity for the audience as they’re taking in so many new things from another culture.
I think overall, that the host is really a great one and seeks to respect the people she interacts with :)
Hannah W. I have found that this particular "reporter" is extremely biased and judgmental in all the cultures she covers. She tries to appear sincere and engaged to the people she interviews, but her voice is always dripping with a sense of superiority whenever she discusses a cultural component that is unfamiliar to her.
I can confirm everything discussed in this is true from my own experience in China. No coincidence that young female suicide rates in China are higher than the norm and Mich higher than male. These, worldly, educated, independent "leftover" women are exactly the kind of woman I would look for if I was single.
+shehbaaz shaikh Do you share the opinion that you are attributing to Chinese men about desirable women?
+Daniel Tynan The bad thing is that they only want to marry chinese men. I come from the United States and visited China 1 year ago. In Shanghai I met many beautiful chinese women who are well educated and still single. But everytime I asked them if they would start a relationship with me they refuse because they told me that they only dating with chinese men. Guess I should look elsewhere....
+Duvant Comet That wasn't my experience. . but Shanghai girls are probably leery of all the party boy/ playboy expats who gravitate to that metropolis. Did you meet anyone from 2nd tier cities?
Well, I visited also Hangzhou. The city is not far away from Shanghai. The women are also the same. They like to have a conversation with me but when I ask about relationship with a foreigner they let me know that they only want to date with chinese men. Afterward I was very upset when I saw how they started to flirt with another asian guy (I think they come from Korea). It's very disapointing. Especially when they talk perfect english and they're still single.
+Duvant Comet well you are not going to have a good response if you just go up to strangers and ask them out. Relationships take time to develop.
When Ting Ting was speaking at the end I teared up. I can't help but wish I could stand up fight the fight with them. And that quote at the end, "To pursue a society of justice and equality everybody has to fight." These women are all amazingly intelligent, strong role models 💗
"Today's consumerist culture is very oppressive to young men and women". At 30:30
That woman is extremely bright and insightful, on so many levels. I actually want to read her books if she wrote any.
+Leela Satya
This woman is not intelligent. She is simply a marxist feminist. If you are interested in reading books by women like this, they are a dime a dozen.
Gabriel Lewicki
she is a professor at a prestigious US University.
Leela Satya
*she is a professor at a prestigious US University.*
She didn't say anything insightful though. All she did is spew out some tired and old marxist rhetoric.
If this is the first time you have ever heard this stuff, then you will think that she is smart woman and that it is a good idea, but this stuff *old* and it is a *terrible* idea in practice. Look into marxism yourself.
To give you another taste of it, here is a quote from another feminsit professor:
_"No woman should be authorized to stay at home to raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one." ~Simone de Beauvoir, 1975_
*PS:* Most feminist professors in University are marxists, and the only reason they advocate for feminism to to push their marxist agenda.
Gabriel Gabe baby, you're so pressed about nothing 😂😂😂
K226 yup marxist feminism? makes ZERO SENSE.
It's always the women who suffer no matter where in the world.
google battlefield surgery and get back to me about who does the suffering...
look up how many men have died doing all the dangerous jobs women won't do and then get back to me ...
look up how many men died in WW2 and get back to me ..
these women chose career over family and now they regret it .. and it is the men who are at fault ... talk about delusional
wow WW2 versus 3,000+ years?
Cry more please.
Athena lol ... Men have always provided for and protected women ... You pick a random number of years and say wow ... What the duck kind of idiot are you? What you said literally means nothing. It is not even anecdote ... It is just gibberish.
its always the women who imagine they suffer no matter were in the world
It is always woman who demand special treatment over logic and reason..
great doc, coming from a chinese family its not unfamiliar but glad to see the a new generation that defines themselves the way they want to
I'm Chinese and turning "leftover", my opinion is that I'm woman, I like make up, nail polish, gossip,or more, but I am strong too. It's not defined as I'm feminine blabla, it's something in myself, undeniably man and woman are different, so just be a woman, but strong.
I’m looking for a Chinese lady to date or marry
I did not know that Chinese have access to RUclips.
then stay by yourself and be strong
Marriage is for love. Men need to stop compartmentalizing women and themselves we are humans and we all have different passions and individual desires in life. We can not pose a standard like that on either sex.
You fuck off lol
OK
Bearded IBMOR 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
hslkd hgelx //
i literally agree with everything you said lmfao. aint got no time for childbearing and that shits nah. 3rd option: date if ya like spending time together ya know, no pressure for a future or whatever, just do what feels good
Bearded IBMOR In the Bible there's a whole book in the Old Testament called The Song of Songs which describes young lovers who fall in love romantically with eachother. I don't know about different cultures around the world, but at least in the judeo-christian cultural tradition marriage has ideally always been something that is tied between a man and a woman who are romantically in love with eachother. So romantic love relationship is not some new bs invention, but it is what God Himself has intended.
"Being in your 30s is like being in your 20s all over again"
*COPE*
Everyone, women entering the workplace in China had NOTHING to do with feminism, and EVERYTHING to do with survival. As the video said in the beginning, Mao saw a shortage of manpower and introduced a practical solution to it, by encouraging women to work. Similar situations can be found in other countries (including mine). Back then, we were simply too poor to survive if our women didn't work. Hell, even children worked. And the same still applies for poor countries today.
Women have always worked, and always will. You can't stop the tide, because it has nothing to do with feminism. As long as extremely harsh conditions exist, women will continue to put food on the table alongside men, so that their family will not die of hunger. Only people from countries with generally better living conditions like the US and modern China can delude themselves into thinking women must stay at home/ be meek or civilization will collapse, when the opposite is the very reality for some other countries.
Yes I agree with you.
You guys should moderate your comments. There's so much abusive and degratory language everywhere, its sickening. Its a place to share your thoughts, sure, but some people leave nothing but hate speech around.
Agreed, although I am learning a lot from the people who have contributed to the conversation. I have also reported the comments that were especially awful. RUclips needs our help in keeping things civil. Thank you for voicing exactly what I was troubled by.
There are people in the comment section who disagree with me so they must be moderated out.
This documentary shows what happens when you have many people uneducated about life.. These parents for example don't mention intelligence, compassion, values or any higher level human qualities. They're like animals.. "What's your height, weight, age, beauty?" Is this a shop or a zoo or the slave trade or something? Or are we in the 21st century..? Classic animal behaviour to go straight for "height, weight, age, beauty".. At least add some character on top of that and other things like ambition, compassion and so on?
@Joker Many mensa members dont have uni degrees or dropped out and this is the top2% in IQ
Ever heard of arranged marriage? It's extremely asian thing, from west asia to east asia. Virtually every society in Asia has different forms of arranged marriage xD
Those are WESTERN values of marriage. Don't try to impose your truths on a 2000 year old culture
just like tinder
The Chinese people seem to be much more honest and pragmatic about life. People from developed nations whose heads are in the clouds will have trouble understanding this.
this is changing but is a slow process. I have been living in China for a while and I had meet a lot of women who were very open minded about this topic and were not worried about not getting married soon. But the problem with the leftover men is even bigger, because those men are poor and they have to pay A LOT OF MONEY to the bride family to be able to marry, the expectations of men had become too high as a consequence. For example a woman would only choose a man if he has a car and a house and if he pays (or his parents) pay a lot of money to her family, so guys are under a lot of stress as a result of this.
So fucking interesting ! Also it seems to me that feminism is the new "f" word... But it's still cool to think about the place of woman and of the concept of feminism !
I'm only 21 and my parents already worry that I don't have a boyfriend yet (yes, I'm Chinese). We are considered too young to have boyfriends in high school, but once we get into college, parents just expect us to find a boy and get married after college.
@stuart little Hi! Glad to tell you I’m 26 now, finished collage and grad school, have a job and still single. My parents really can’t force me to get married, but the pressure is here lol.
That commercial killed me 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 no Kardashian can dream about so much drama than it was shown in such a short commercial
personally, i think the biggest problem is the low social status of farmers. because of the blooming Chinese economy, farmers is treated unfairly, as a low income occupation. i have seen so many villages become extinct. there are some photographer who go to remote area, and record the last breath of those villages with perfectly good arable lands.
lol, this match maker was in an episode with Thomas
+Yaoxing Li That is really sad. That means a lot of dialects are probably lost forever too, right?
+Yaoxing Li Don't you guys have Agricultural subsidies? Food isn't a want. It's a necessity. The United States understands this, what's happening over there.
lol, man. the food is not a problem. just social status are very polar, young women left rural area move to cities.
Boo Radley not really, dialects are understandable for most of the places. if you mean the minorities, since China is made of 56 ethnic groups. i think, i am not sure, minorities are well protected, their culture are one of the selling points for tourists.
This is so sad :( Why are women still so oppressed in 2016? :( The world would be such a beautiful place if oppression would finally end
+Rizal Jose you are so ignorant
I just always report such comments as hate speech, which it clearly is. I recommend you to do the same, cassandra. It is not worth answering such beings.
oppression of any person and of any form is never a joke. no matter if it is aimed at women, gays etc. if you ridicule oppression by saying it was a joke, you help the oppressor.
+X Servex women weren't allowed to go to war all they could do were be nurses. Oh what but colleges barely allowed women.
Oppression must be comparative. If there's no comparison, how could one claim that this country's women are more oppressed than another without any sort of comparative data. After all, those who claimed to be oppressed might be only expressing their own personal opinions.
The worst part is that they have still got incredibly double social standard for women... Like you need to be less educated, short but not too short (yes they have a specific height of 168cm for that), will cook and give birth to children, under the age of 30, good-looking and be a virgin when you get married. There will be a strong discrimination for a girl if she does not satisfy any of the above, what's even worse? The entire society is just normal to turn against her in any circumstances such as violence in marriage and even rape.
"left over" men
no such thing. Men become more attractive as they advance their careers. Women become less attractive as they age, until they reach the point where no man wants them and they are classed as left overs.
I don't know the chinese word but they use the term 'dead branches' for men. Those who will never produde fruit cause they can't find wives.
Sadly, a lot of chinese men have resorted to human trafficking to solve their problems, buying or stealing women from other regions.
@@ChronosKat
i am not arguing that undesirable men do not exist - they do. but there is a difference between being undesirable and being left-over. when a woman gets older and after he looks fade, there is very little she can do to attract a man as men do not select women based on income, status, etc. men on the other hand can still increase their desirable qualities (money, status) and attract women after they have aged. They are never considered left-over because they can always improve their attractiveness to women.
@Angel Rose
*BS now the same men are complaining that the is no women left for men karma 😂😂 men are desperate for women in China hahahah*
there is a difference between being left-over and there simply not being enough women. left-over women exist despite the fact that there are more men than women in china. this because after a woman's looks fade, after she becomes old, after she can not have kids anymore, they become invisible to men. It doesn't matter that there is not enough women to go around, men are just not interested in women after they get old. and there is no remedy for getting old, losing your beauty, losing your fertility. that is why they are "left-over".
you can hate on men all you want but that does not change the fact that men and women are different, and the tools each has to attract a mate are different. the tools women have to attract a male have an expiration date, and past that date they become left-overs that no man wants. the tools men have to attract women do not expire, and if a man is considered undesirable to a woman he can always work to improve his money/status and become desirable to women.
Oh, good, I'm glad this video touches upon the fact that men so greatly outnumber women in China now. This means that women can now afford to be pickier. The men, however, are going to have to try harder.
"Women can now afford to be pickier."
-Which is exactly why they can't find husbands. The men that they want can get way better women than them.
no dear it means old unwanted girls will have to train boys and never experience the 7 year itch when they want to leave, no young guy with options will ever stay with a older girl more then a year usually.
you can't be this in denial, men are not waiting for old girls these days, old men will date you though, if your around 26-35 i tell women look to men close to 50 or boys under 25 who want u for free. thats your choices today.
men try harder for older women?? omg u can't be this lost.then again u probally don't have a passport and don't grasp that asian men don't put up with it at all. have never nor never will.
hilarious right, men will try harder for old frumpy women? women don't grasp yet that they didnt give it away for free in modern times no they must work and pay for it today and get less for it.
its the most ironic joke going and men get to laugh.
+Hung Lo lol that's true
Supply and demand, folks. If there are twice as many men as there are women, half the men aren't getting laid, *especially* if they won't date older women. But keep trying to convince yourself. Good luck finding someone. :)
You left out the part where in cultural revolution where 50 million to 100 million people were slaughtered during the cultural revolution. You paint a rosy picture of the cultural revolution, but in reality it was the most bloody in the history of the world.
Why can't they get married and pursue their career at the same time?
Because after marriage they have to get pregnant to have a children, take care of them as well as in a lot of cases take care of the parents of the husband.
Old comment, but in China being married means having kids and taking care of your husbands family. That means, no time for pursuing career. It's sad, really.
They can. They just feel pressured to get married. I think this complaining is lame. Just don't get married, and especially don't have kids. China has 1.5 Billion people. Seriously, give the breeding a break.
I've heard that women are berated and cruelly pressured into "resigning" if they are in the family way... I would like to hear from someone there though... Is this true??
@@taunoctua245 but the country needs new people to keep the old people alive so breeeeeeeed.
This was weirdly pro mao
It's because this is a feminist channel, and feminists are communists.
even a broken clock is right twice a day,,,
without him the women in china won't have any basic rights we see today, such as calling for a divorce. The first law passed by PRC was the marriage law, surprisingly, isn't it.
+NamelessHere Forevermore knows what's up
Natalie Nichols Alam yeah the interviewer tried to label the Nicole as a feminist even though she said she felt like she wasn’t one
I'm a Chinese American guy at 5'11 turned 40 last year, would love to find a woman of equal or taller height. Strong, independent, and smart women are actually a major turn on for me. I don't want someone who stands silently beside me, I want someone who speaks her mind and pushes forward. That's quite difficult from my personal experience, why can't more women be like that here?
I get ashamed a lot of time for speaking my mind and loving to have conversations about philosophy and other topics. Intelligent women get so much shit that we at the end of the day try to never be vulnerable in front of people especially men. Good luck trying to get the trust of a intelligent women lol
because nature cannot be beaten with words
See women want a masculine dominant man, your a nice guy and hence why at 40 you are single
this is one great channel I tell ya.
Wang Zheng's words are very inspiring
Wow this makes me sad. I lived in China for half a year and had no idea this was going on while I was there. I don't understand why their requirements are so superficial??? Like why would I care if a man has a car and a house or whatever, when I already have those things, or could get those things myself. I remember being on a date in China, and after the guy kept bragging about his materialistic things, I simply replied with "Oh, that's nice. Good on you for working hard to earn those things." After that he got mad that I wasn't impressed, and asked what I wanted in a man. After I told him I wanted someone funny, positive, smart, and who loves me, he reacted much like how the people in the video reacted to the interviewer's ideal type. I just thought he was a douchebag, but boy I was wrong.
I don't hate the men though, I hate their society that causes the men to adopt such a misogynistic and superficial mentality. This mentality is detrimental to men too, and causes them to over compensate for material things due to all the competiton. Not to mention the men's options are already very limited with there being way more men than women, so why was a stigma of being so picky and belittling women who don't fit their requirements created. If anything shouldn't they want a working woman who can help provide so that way all the financial struggles isn't just burdened on him??? Some things I'll guess I just never understand.
Same thing is in India also.
@@hwfq34fajw9foiffawdiufhuaiwfhw ??? Not true
On the flip side, most women are not willing to date men who are less successful or less educated than them.
Really excellent documentary.
How is it even "feminist" when women don't want to marry just because of their parents and fulfill the duty of giving children? We are not talking about 15th century colonialism but the modern world.
I think the same thing happens in America but it's less talked about. But women are extremely stigmatized in America.
This is so controversial... Everyone should be free to choose the person with whom live and love, and actually... Making a family should be a choice as well. There should be chemistry between lovers that both of them would enjoy, if not then please, don't marry. I bet there are many people who want to find their second orange and nobody can find. Don't worry, you are not alone, there are millions of people in your situation...
By that logic 60% of women will never get married. 80% chasing 20% men. What about your parents, how was there chemistry before they got married?
im an american dude and i have a 26 y/o female chinese friend who wants to pursue medical engineering and she routinely asks for my advice on this topic. i basically tell her that she should make her own choice and not let her parents influence her - that is the american way. the truth is, idk if that is good advice.
Westerners sound all nice and goodhearted when they say "Go for it! Don't fall for the pressure! Be yourself!" The reality is though, that advice is probably more damning than helpful.
My advice for her is only good advice if she can achieve permanent residency in America. If she is forced to live in China after her education, then I think it is bad advice.
I am from traditional Indian family.....
I believe parents advice is the best and Always
American way is too bad.... As it created failed family system
Sure," God made man before woman, but then you have to make a rough draft before the final masterpiece"
You are a product of all that bleeding, now I understand why men are rejecting women for me, they are in love with themselves
Tingting is role model for us all. Her courage, commitment and compassion for the equal rights of women, despite the huge risks to her own rights, is truly inspirational.
So in reality it's left over men that caused by preferences for sons. Then because of quality of economy has improved live of women. Women are preferring to stay single rather than marrying and taking care of male family with no real return except for being consider a house wife.
It's pretty much the same in India, without the 'leftover' tag.
I see this in a lot of countries. I'm 24 and I'm already being asked by relatives about when I'll get married. The pressure is scary. I just got out of college for Pete's sake!
The gender imbalance is not caused by one-child policy, it's caused by Chinese traditional gender discrimination. One-child policy made a whole generation of girls raised as the only daughter in the family, they got the chance to become educated and independent women, they can decide what they want for their own life, and that's an improvement. If there weren't the policy, if the girls had a brother or brothers, they wouldn't have had the same chance and the same power like they have today. Even though the discrimination still exist nowadays, more and more chinese women are aware about it and fighting against it.
every country unfortunately have these problem hopefully in the future women n men willbe more equal , after living in china 6 years , been many villages . i see chinese women are much more stronger than many women in midd east , south america even in europe , so i believe chinese women will make a change in the near future
It's sad how so many are buying into the lies of feminism. Being ashamed of their femininity and thinking that they should be behaving like men. There is a reason women are becoming more and more unhappy. Because men are not equal to women.
Wang Zheng the spoke person is very talented in speech. Clear and coherent.
That crusty old fossil really just called her old. Yikes.
Not that it should be considered an accurate portrait of China but remember when MuLan's grandma sais she should have brought back a man?
In the end, she did bring back a man.
Actually this happen all over the world not only in China. It happens where feminism and gender equality ideology get stronger. Modern (women) society.
Women aged 25-40 are seen as undesirable? What a gold mine for Westerners
Appreciate this informative documentary! However, some parts were overly dramaticized, some additions:
1) While it is true that there exist an inequal number of men and women in China, there is a large urban-rural divide, meaning that cities (such as Beijing) saw fewer abortions of girls. This is partially due to financial security in the city and more job opportunities for women.
2) Researchers have now "found" some of the "missing women", girls who were born in secret and were not reported to state governments. While these girls were not aborted or killed, they also don't have any legal rights (such as education, free movement, marriage, etc.)
Overall, a good documentary that also shows men's challenge in becoming "financially attractive" and successful to find wives. The whole feminism debate in China really is much more multi-layered than meets the eye...
i like what u are pointing out since there is more guys that girls
From abandoning and aborting baby girls to later calling them "left over women", pressuring them and guilting them to run into marriages that they don't want
I'm 42 and never married so if I lived in china I would never have a chance...this is so sad.
"Leftover women" in Chinese is "剩女Sheng Nü" (pronounced ShenNyu). The video said "匈奴 Xiong Nu" which means nomadic peoples that once invaded the Han Dynasty. lmao
Well, look take a screenshot of this and put it in Google translator and seems true
LOL!!! Preshate the education. 👍🏾
有剩男吗? 怎么多剩男可是有人遍地男人叫他们剩男吗?
_"They were sent back to the kitchen when the men came back from war."_
No. Back then, families did not need two people working. You only needed one person working to support the family. Men were the ones to do that, and women were allowed to stay home and take care of the kids, so they didn't need to spend money on a nanny. "Staying in the kitchen" was a privilege that most people in all of human history did not have, and feminists raged over that exceptionally rare luxury, lol.
Ouu yeaaa.. and then the other day you will call them a hoe who depend on the man without make their own money. Whatever women did, man like you will always try to find your way to blame everything on woman. If a womann looking for man financial, you will say they are gold digger, but then when they work for themself to get money, then you say, women supposed in the kitchen and mann make the money for then.
Bullcrap!
@@owwtelegramstalkerstoh3182no we call them a hoe when they’re sleeping around. If you’re required to pay for everything but she will open her legs for someone else she’s a hoe
1:35. An apple has been called the derogatory term "fruit"...it is interested that the documentary has a clear conclusion right at the start. I have been living in China for several years and I have been literally chased by many of these "leftovers". Most of them are far from independent, and they have rejected perfectly good men in their younger years, and instead went playing with lao wais (foreigners).When they reach their late 30s they find out that these foreigners are gone, there is no american or european visa, and the locals who used to chase them are long married...for some years they desperately try to get back to the game, chasing foreigners in a very obvious manner, but they are too old and too in a hurry to get married...so they end up alone.
so true, same thing happening in India. 10 yrs back I met a girl who rejected me saying I didnt make enough money and never had a girlfriend. She is not 35+ and not married and had close to 35+ boyfriends.
Some do find themselves much much older gents from the West and marry them.
It's embarrassing to look at but hey, if he's deluded enough and she's desperate enough, good luck to both of them
For a country with 120 men for every 100 women, they sure do seem to think they have the right to be choosers when they're beggars.
Due to the 1-child-policy and female infanticide Chine has WAY more men then women. On every single woman comes around 5 or more single man. Yet it is only the single WOMEN who are brandmarked as "leftovers"
Linda B here’s a good question. If there are 5 men to every woman how are there any single women?
11:11 They are talking about how men are not considered left over but at the beginning they were talking about how there is substantial pressure on men to get married to continue the family line. I am certain families put immense pressure on their son to get married but they don't seem to want to and they should be free to choose their own route in life too.
“I’m not a feminist - men & women shouldn’t fight each other all the time” Amen.
When my parents tried to find matches for me I just laughed and made it clear that It was my choice who to get married to
Idk why that like getting signed up to be judged if a person is a suitable partner shit isn't seen the same way as dating apps in the U.S, all of this stuff is so dystopian
I appreciate that this examines this social issue through the lens of the individual, but also through the narrative of class struggle that is still a major driving force in Chinese society.
I wonder why don't they encourage both marriage and a career? If marriage is still promoted as a dead end (being the transaction it is still), it's no wonder why they have this issues of people not finding couples.
Instead of saying "marriage is your chance at happiness", they should change the discourse to "career and marriage can go together"
Just finished watching the one about men in China not marrying (2017) & now this about women not marrying (2015). Everybody's under some kinda societal pressure! I see now the importance to teach kids to be aware of their societal climate but to learn to think for themselves too. Also how advertising can influence ppl too!
Wow how can the men afford to picky when they GREATLY out number women just find a woman you like and get married simple but they want young and cute while not having much to offer themselves LOL.
Because they want to have children not sex.
Actually not only the men are picky.women in china also very picky they have very higher standards .but men with their standards are already married.
That last quote made me cry because it's true
This is everywhere in the world. It's here in Singapore and back home in Pakistan. When I got married, my wife was 26 years old. The worthless majority in my family told me it was a mistake to marry an education career-driven person, much less one that crossed the age of 20. From the day she turned 18, my wife's family subtly directed her towards finding a spouse and considering proposals.
This was really inspiring.
"Is this considered good looking in Sweden"
"He's cute"
"Just cute? its over"
HAHAHAHA
It interests me how in the west, when females are asked what they look for in a spouse, they answer with qualities (reserved, outgoing, humorous, intelligent). With my Chinese relatives (and from what I gauged in this video), they care more about worldly possessions than anything.
"i dont like being judged at this park with dinossaurs" --------- "I'm looking for somedoby who will make me laugh, and who's intelligent, and who reads a lot of books". Oh, the irony.
oh please, the problem is even though there are more men than women in china, 99% of the women are looking for that top 10% of men. Of course by this standard they will never find a husband. Parents need to accept the fact that society is changing. There is nothing wrong with staying single or simple living together
A Chinese guy once told me “Marrying for Love only happens in movies.” He said it was a Western fantasy.
Im moroccan born and raised in Holland.
Took a while to understand this shit.
You marry to build the next generation , so you better be ready.
He's right.
And he's right
2018. And we still say Africa is oppressive to women, but see China, a developed nation still calling women leftovers!!!!
We as African women have a loong way to go, but we shall keep the fight.
It's weird to have a reporter say "like" so much, she's so bad, it ruined the story
The pressure applies equally on both men and women. Nothing to do with gender.
HabituallyObsessed shut the fuck up
i love how these ladies are speaking about how strong, independent and proud they are but in the same time speaking with sadness in theyr voices and sound of oppression :D
Being partially Chinese, this is so interesting to watch. I'm a middle-class, college educated female. In the social groups I run around it, it's looked down upon to be a housewife or to get married young. My cousin was 23 when she got married, and we all looked at her like she was insane. I'm from the USA, so the environment I've grown up in is different (although there are pockets in the US where it is the norm to get married young and have children before 22). Thanks for this documentary.
I'm sorry for your situation. My daughter is a professional with a doctorate degree but she's also a young mom ( she's 27 so she isn't THAT young), but she's also really glad she has me, an early retired grandma to her kids, and I'm m age 46 so I'm still young enough to watch her twins so she doesn't have to worry about daycare. I'm glad I had her when I was only 19 because now I can be of use to her.
The guy towards the beginning is like Mitt Romney, with his "binders of women"
Haha they think Mao thought women could hold up half the sky :D He wanted to ship 10 million of them to America, even offered them to Nixon because he thought they were pariahs, good for nothing but breeding, that's why communists decided to break up the family and force women into the workforce, so they would no longer be useless pariahs in his eyes. His quote was more along the lines of "women could hold up half the sky" because he has a plan for them, and boy did he do it. Instead of sending them to America he decided to do the one child policy, creating more men, it was only after he died and China changed directions that they actually cared about a lot of sexually frustrated young men in their midst, because if the Arab spring is anything to go by, it never ends well. Had China not changed direction post-Mao then these men would have been an asset to the country, now they are the disposable ones, but what women fail to understand is that even if they don't want a man, these men can still work just fine, they have their hentai, their prostitutes, their money, and they are much more competitive in the workforce than men, even when men are pushed down and women dragged up in communist societies like they are today, they are still more competitive and better workers, so go on, forgo childbirth and a family because your standards are too high, but don't be surprised when it blows up in your face.
Also, holy Jesus the Beijing accent in rancid.
My respect for the Chinese culture just grew astronomically
so funny and weird to hear this. My dad told me basically every day that i could do what ever I wanted and that my mother was the toughest person he's ever known. I always rolled my eyes as in 'Duh!' But now have a whole new appreciation for it.
"Female infanticide was not a concern of the government, but man cannot find wife is a concern of the government." DANG this is SO screwed up.
I am a Asian male, a feminist, and I'll choose to ignore biased opinions about being an Asian male. Chinese society is changing and these leftover men will inevitably have to covet the fact that there are successful women in society who are single with a shortage of women. Currently, China is at the crossroads of 1920 western socio-economic position and the hyper-behemoth that is our internet age. We cannot expect China to improve every aspect of their society over night. People need to realize that it's been merely 30-40 years since China's opening up. I think taking care of China's economic inequality and absolute poverty (which the government has pledged as its top priorities) will pave the way for women to further liberalize. However, I want to object to something here. I don't think it is bad for society to encourage women to get married.
In Japan, they say No one wants to each Christmas cake on the 26th, so women over the age of 25 are considered beyond marriage.
I really don't get it, it would feel like 25+ would be a good marrying age and anything lower is just to early.