Why You Should Have Children | Dave Rubin & Jordan B Peterson
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- Опубликовано: 24 дек 2017
- Clip from "Jordan Peterson LIVE: 12 Rules for Life - An Antidote to Chaos". Rubin and I discuss why people should have kids. Children are the reintroduction to the unsullied paradise of being. Discussing my book 12 Rules for Life - An Antidote to Chaos - January 23, 2018.
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I remember someone saying "if you cant be happy alone, you will never be happy with others."
Tell that to extroverts
Right
Tell that "someone" you would not be posting here if your parents being happy alone.. it is not about having children or not.. it is part of natural life cycle ..
Id
@@gameformation2100 They won't either.
I was contemplating whether to have kids and this did not convince me.
damn it sucks that nobody cares
It come from instinct not from the brain
@@noemie6804 that made me want them even less lol
@@DrBitchcraft. whoops, sorry!
@@DrBitchcraft. Im sure you wouldnt be able to have them anyways
I can't imagine why he cares so much if other people don't want kids. My husband and I never had them, never regretted it. I don't think he understands human beings as much as he thinks he does.
His arrogance is getting the better of him
This generation dies with me
Hey SapNap 🤣
@@johnathanhumphreythompson8658 lol I instantly recognized
@@Nomatterwhat69 dude what? 🤣
Sorry i already have 5 and got the wife preggo again. Government gibs all day
You sound depressed lol
37 just had my first. Originally planned for 2, Changed our mind after the first one. The responsibility is nasty and so far I haven't seen the benefits or "happiness" that its supposed to come with it. So its all work and no fun. No wonder people don't want to have kids anymore it really does put you in a miserable state of unhappiness. Its ok if you decide to not have kids. You should only have them if you really really feel like you want them. If you are unsure, Don't.
Nah, I’ll pass on the parenthood thing. I have passions and dreams to chase, + I don’t have the temperament to be a father
But it will make you feel like a man to have a large family and your father will be so proud of you as you both celebrate your 8th child on the way with a couple of beers together.
@@patricksaxon3983 nah, that will never happen. Me and my father arnt close like that, never have been. My brother is getting married soon and they are planning kids so he can continue the family name, I’m in the clear
@@patricksaxon3983 You're talking as if you knew him which most likely isn't the case.
You don't actually have to choose just one thing..a person can have all if they see the value and possess a good amount of self-belief to work on things and not get guided by uncertainty or anything like that.
@@evilnet1 Wow... you people really don't get sarcasm huh?
I need Jordan Peterson to convince me to want kids. Still haven’t worked yet
Just don't have them, man. It's not worth the pain you'll give the kid.
@@user-te6um1rl1e What do you mean, speak for myself? It's immoral to have kids. It's well known that everyone has to suffer and die. And for what? So the parents can feel good about themselves?
@@cryingcrane8173 I mean speak for yourself with regards to "pain you'll give the kid." That's not the default. Reproducing isn't immoral. It's natural. If your life is only suffering and you're waiting to die, I am deeply sorry and I hope you find your way out of that situation. Suffering is part of life but it isn't the only part of life. Emerging from suffering, reducing suffering for others, making the world a better place are perfectly good reasons to bring new life to the world. And amazing reasons to fix your own life as well.
@@user-te6um1rl1e 1. Natural and immoral are not mutually exclusive. Murder and rape are perfectly natural. Should those then be okay? No, of course not.
2. I'm not saying that suffering is the only part of life. Listen closely: you may be of the opinion that the suffering in life is worth it. But many people don't think this is true. In fact, many people think it is so not worth it that they kill themselves over it. Do you really think it's okay to force someone into a situation that could potentially be so bad that they need to kill themself?
3. Emerging from suffering and all that shit wouldn't be necessary if we didn't suffer in the first place. In other words, if we were never born we wouldnt have to do all that shit. That's like spreading a disease because you personally think the treatment process is beautiful and meaningful, regardless of what the people you're spreading it to want.
4. What, are you just assuming that I need to fix my life? Right, because I must be a wicked loser with no life just because I think having kids is wrong right? Nobody with their shit together could ever disagree with you. You breeders always assume this sort of shit. Cut the egotistical bullshit, man.
I think we cynical miserable people have these thoughts and lookup these vids but, most other humans beings seem happy with their lives, why can't we be optimistic and assume that our kid will not be as messed up as us? xD
I've got four it's been a very difficult twenty years raising them. Yes they can be funny but the sense of responsibility, the financial burden, the very difficult teenage years, and the regret that I didn't pursue my chosen career and ambition is the price I paid. I raised them alone too. So just having kids because they are 'fun and make you laugh' is not a reason to have them, think twice before you go down the child path.
Exactly!!! Well said! I really been saying this for years.Yet, many don't truly understand because they see others doing it out of careless decisions.
Fuck can't imagine being a single parent of four, my hats off to you
@@buzzlightyearandco Hats off ? I think every mother should be applauded like the NHS workers in the UK as mothers work hard as well and deserves appreciation.
If you really didn’t like it or really didn’t want it you would’ve stopped at one or two so 🤷🏼♀️
i bet you didn't sleep well for thiose 20 years either. i love my 8 hours a night of sleep. and no expenses other than me. great life.
As far as I can tell, these are largely reasons to spend time with kids - not necessarily to have them yourself. And yet I don't see too many people desperate to babysit or work in childcare so that they can see the world anew etc. That's what I don't get
I constantly meet people that work in childcare for that reason.
@@snoozyq9576 I mean relative to the number of people keen to have kids :)
Only because most people, who would enjoy spending time with kids, are inert and society isn't motivating them in direction of caring for other people's kids.
Also, it requires continuous commitment.
Yesssss!!!!!!
I dont love kids, but I love hanging out with my kids.
I couldnt be a teacher, but I can do home schooling with my kids. Don't get me wrong I like my boys friends, but I get exactly what Peterson is saying, and it's all relative to them being your own kids, or as he says kids that you like.
Not just any old kids.
I'm a preschool teacher, looking after children in my job is currently enough..
I've heard people say working with children is the best form of birth control lol
Are you thirty?
@@Roarzan it is.
Because I'm so grateful coming home to my child free space!
It's quiet and clean.
@@mcq31mc not yet. In my mid 20's
Thank you for your service!
It depends how you raise them. Some kids parents ruin them
SOME?
@@Vyom108 You can't ignore the fact that the society is super complex, so there are things about everything.
Tam Annie
That’s the main reason that even if you are stuffed with goodness there will be people with negativity for real, so one way or another you have to suffer .
So pls don’t be ignorant and don’t procreate
@@Vyom108 ??? There are a lots of people that does not know how to be parents, and that does make kids suffer and perhaps till the end of their life.
@@Vyom108 "so please don't be ignorant and don't procreate"
WHAT if they can't add. If 1+1 equals 3
THEN How can they limit the number of kids to two???
For example.
I believe most women and men love the IDEA of having kids but do not understand what it's really like to have them. Expose yourself to that environment before deciding; volunteer at daycare centers, babysitting, etc. Also, be around kids with severe conditions like down syndrome, ADHD, autism, so you know if your kid ends up having those, you would know how to handle them or at least get an idea of what life will be like for you.
That's good but people who genuinely find want kids also don't want them because they just don't want them.... like me.
You nailed it.
Good advice
Let’s not forget that we do not see other children exactly like we see our own. We massively love and prefer our own than other people’s. It’s biological, and once you have them, there’s no going back. Obviously there are some exceptions, but generally speaking.
@@MetalTechify there are many exceptions ...
Kids just make the life easier for a lot of couples that have nothing in common. Which is just sad.
They do not. Unhappy couples stay together just because of kids
@Awaken King but so you think it's a strong argument? Still a gamble. Might be the case, might be not. I don't think it's a right reason to bring kids to this fucked up world atm
@Awaken King lol this isnt a Hollywood movie, kids very rarely strengthen bond between couples that dislike each other most couples stay together due to the kid and are forced due to kids .
need to stop watching Hollywood movies lol
I came to the conclusion that I don’t need kids because I never lost my sense of wonder.
Beautiful!!! ...maybe we don't loose our sense of wonder BECAUSE we have no kids ha ha ha...
I met someone. Got married. Later had kids. Never thought 'do I WANT kids?' It's just the next step in life's passage. Its evolution. It a legacy of my existence. No regrets whatsoever.
@@kerryfoster1 So you took a big chance, risking other people's lives without even thinking about it, and now you feel as if that's cool because you've got a "legacy" now? That's just stupid.
You have no legacy, man. You're not the king of England, Kerry XXIV. Do you remember your great grandparents? Do you know the name of even a single one of your great great great great grandparents? Stop treating your children like they're a vessel for your bloodline. Your bloodline doesn't mean shit, and you haven't won the game of evolution because anyone can have kids. It's not hard.
I feel strongly about this, but I usually don't comment. However, your careless attitude about it and your insistence that everyone should have kids in order to fulfill their life? Those are two things that really make me wonder at how stupid people can be.
@Peter Kile Totally agree. Some people should never be allowed to have children.
@@cryingcrane8173 end your own bloodline please, I don't want to and neither will my children want to deal with your petulant entitlement.
No thanks, but if you want kids go ahead.
MissArtsy Flare you are nuts!!!!
Ha ha. I am way past the age of jealousy OR external restraints. I know the freedom of contentment!
@@kerryfoster1 we all do haha but please, have the kids I never had 😂
No one asked for your permission.
@Bradley Wellington II Even if you say that, there are those who'd agree and still don't want kids. Leave it that way, it's not your choice to make.
I’m 29 and all my friends are at this phase and I’m no where close don’t have a girlfriend or anything. My dad tragically died when I was 8 and had a massive impact on me and the rest of my family. For as long as I remember, I never thought or wanted to be like my mum one day alone with 3 children. It’s definitely stuck with me for the fact of I don’t think I would be a good parent because those feelings don’t come naturally to me because I think of my past experiences growing up and I’m making a negative comparison.
Why can't you find that curiosity and interests within yourself ?
Thank you, yes. I'd rather make music, write, travel, etc. I don't need a child to help me see the beauty in a flower.
I think it's because most people are encouraged to leave it behind to be taken seriously as an adult. Then all the responsibilities of life drains them. I think it's crazy to have a kid to be dependent on them to show you a different side of life. Most people just follow tradition.
I agree, children are for those who don't have dreams anymore and who are naive about the efforts required in bringing them up. For those adults who lost their inner child-like curiosity...
@@user-ht9oc7gw1f I agree, it’s better to connect with your inner child than to expect your kid to enlighten you... first become enlightened and then have a kid
He says in this clip, that by the time you are 30 you’ve seen so much of the world that your memory replaces the curiosity like the house icons he described. So adults don’t have the same level of curiosity as children.
When he said he doesn't see the houses when he walks down the street anymore, that made me sad. Looking at houses and plants on my walks is one of my favorite things to do. Especially the plants, they're always changing. I always imagine what kind of people are living in them. I'm 31, so I hope I don't lose it. Everything fascinates me.
me too, I look at flowers, dull isolated trees from a far like I understand their language, you're so good for this world misty
Yeah, I'm close to 47 now and I still look at houses, other buildings etc. Everything is fascinating. So I really missed the point Jordan is making there.
So his advice
Have kids everyone
He still had depression at the time of this interview and suffered with it for most of his adult life. Depression tends to make you experience the world the way he describes here.
It kind of sounds like he needs the kid to relive his life... and having kids because they will help you see and enjoy the world. If you literally can’t find enjoyment just existing and need a kid to help you out... Find a therapist.
Dude, he IS a therapist.
@@bladewolfvii6383
He needs a supertherapist
Why do people have kids then? If everyone followed your line of reasoning, the human race would collapse because birthing and then raising children is hard af.
@@bladewolfvii6383 So what that he is? Therapists also use therapists. It's not like you suddenly become some wisdom god just by being a therapist xD
@@bladewolfvii6383 Sometimes therapists need other therapists to help them.
Like sometimes doctors need a doctor for their health.
Basically if you have no life, have kids and they'll fill that empty void, but don't have kids if you have a life cause you'll lose it and it'll become theirs.
The opposite should be the case. You assume that kids take away your whole life.
By the time they hit their teens they can function on their own without you. You can travel to your hearts content fill send them money for food and your good🤣. Leave the dog for a week and he'll die....
You'll only lose your life if you're an idiot and don't know what you're doing. There have been many successful people who have kids and don't cry about it. Off the top of my head, I think Gordon Ramsay is a good example.
@@gameformation2100 he’s also a rich celebrity LMFAO
@@serenitybeats1677 Yes, that's my point. He managed to become a rich celebrity even though he has kids. Kids didn't stop him from achieving success.
Money quote: "You don't have to put up with any unnecessary, unpleasant nonsense from children."
Yeah...cut off thier hands and feet???
The same nonsense you gave your parents ??? I guess you dodged a bullet there !!!!
Yes, you just abstain from having them. Problem solved. xD
@Shutbyotch nah. plenty of us have been put in a situation where the nonsense is coming from an authoritative figure. one’s financial situation for example may not allow them to simply walk away from an abusive parent or boss, but they can always abstain from having children and avoid all those headaches.
@@michaelangelo1417 Or Discipline them.
If you carry bad genes, then having kids is cruel.
Define bad genes? Their is no such thing as bad genes the only bad "genes" comes from incest
@@BestMster Haven't you heard of the apoe4 gene, also known as the Alzheimer's gene? If that's not a bad gene then what is?
@@BestMster bullshit, some genes can make a person get destined for diseases like hemophilia, cancer, AD, etc.
I'm rich, handsome and kinda smart. Also I'm dealing with severe depression and anxyety. Good genes are not enough. Life has an important random component, no matter your genetic or socioeconomic features, you are not in position to guarantee a good life to your children. You are imposing him the burden of life.
@@BestMster I can define bad gene. Bad gene is gene which causes diseases or causes to be predisposed to illnesses. For example there is gene which causes hyperlipidemia. People with that gene have high cholesterol as children as supposed to middle age or higher. On my mom's side diabetes is disease of concern. Obesity is partially genetic. I have won that lottery as well. Some people have very rare disease which makes life mostly suffering. In those cases procreating is definitely cruel.
"I think children get a bad rap."
I work with children daily. I love kids. I just don't want to take my work home with me 🤷
LOL! I love the way you said that.
Well said friend.
well cause that would be illegal
Have children.....
Don't have children.......
No matter what don't judge others and be rude. Stop shaming people for not wanting kids, stop shaming people for wanting kids.
good comment 👍 i really hate that people have to persuade or shame people who have different paths
Finally, a comment that makes sense
Nah, it’s shameful to have kids, but a lot of other things we take for granted are also shameful. People who have kids are still hypocrites that breed unnecessary suffering and destruction.
Yeah make new humans beings so they could be clowns to make you happy ?
You bring them into life to make your life abit more spicy
And then you make it you lifes duty to beat it into a shape thats fits in to the illusion that we call the Society
All the pain that they endure in the life is on you thena
@@TheWelchProductions Can I see you take on this? Why do you think this?
I’m sorry but a child entertaining me is not a reason to have one. I always hated as a child how people look at you , just waiting for you to do someone entertaining . 😂
Sunshine Love congrats on missing the point and cherry picking one part and jumping to conclusions
If that's what you understood...that the advantage is that children are entertainment, you didn't underatand anything
You're pathetic.
Should’ve flipped them off lol, it’s good to see people on here that do disagree with Jordan on this subject. I dont hate him but he’s not putting out a good and wise message lol planets got so many mouths to feed man
I remember when my kid tried pronouncing the word fork for the first time (it sounded like she was cursing)
When she got older she took her frustration out on me by secretly writing on my bathroom wall “You facker” First off I taught her how to spell it correctly (fucker) secondly told her she really shouldn’t use that language until she was a little older and third it was a great opportunity for me to teach her that just because you say “I’m sorry” isn’t always enough especially if you hurt that individual too many times. My child was distraught cause she loved me as much as I love her she just had a moment of rage when she did it. So I had to tell her that I loved her but I don’t forgive her. She got very upset but I showed her how I would forgive her. I gave her a Magic Eraser which I had on hand and handed it to her. I told her that actions speak louder than words, you gotta try to make things right. She cleaned it off (it was just crayon) and then I told her I forgave her and loved her.
A better example of this lesson is with the broken dish though that’s a bit dangerous to do. You basically instruct an individual to break a dish. Instruct them to say that they are sorry to the dish for hurting it. If they do so they can see that saying sorry doesn’t magically fix the dish. You have to take action by gluing it back together and though you may never be able to eat from it again they made the attempt to make things right.
I'm 37 and have no kids. I had a vasectomy at 26. I never regret it. I have plenty of nieces that I take care of that bring me joy. Kids are a lot of work and extremely expensive. I can do whatever I want at anytime. Life is great!
Why did you make yourself sterile?
Holy fuck man
TheRichie213 I’m sure you’re happy because you can do whatever you want with no regrets. But if we all take that view then the planet would be empty. The fact it costs a lot to have kids means the decision not to have them it’s decided for us long before we discovered it. Having kids allows you and me to be here debating and experience the world. If we think the opposite then we might as well not have been born at all. Now that’s something.
Will Jones Sure, you're not wrong. But this guy isn't trying to convince everyone to adopt his lifestyle, he's just happy living life how he's living it. There's nothing wrong with that.
I don't want children. I'm still young, and that may change one day, but I really would prefer to not have children and focus on my own life. Some people say that's selfish but I'm just not the type of person who likes extended periods of time around children. I have a nephew. He's great... sometimes. Short amounts of time hanging out with him I can do. But anything too long and I just want to escape. As a parent, you can't do that. I understand this and figure it may be best for me to never have a child. I hope other people do. I like human progression but I'm not interested in doing that myself.
Straight White Male How so? How is not having children selfish? Like, there's nothing inherently selfish about that.
This man could be a doctor, giving his life to help others, but he's selfish because he doesn't want children?
Even if he's not a doctor, even if he's just a tattoo artist, he's still not selfish for not having children.
He's living his life. And good for him. Where do you find the righteousness to judge him? Just because he doesn't want kids.
That's insane man. It's insane to berate someone for that.
And I'm not even here to disagree with Dr. Peterson. I believe he's so very right. But I cannot see myself having children, at least not in the near future because it's just not where I think I want my life to be.
I don’t want to put my kids through all the crap in this world and I know I can’t protect them from everything, so the best thing I can do is not have kids. Just my opinion.
Totally agree!
Samesies !!
Why think in a negative manner, what if your kid turns out to be a blessing for another person, what if your child changes people’s perspective about life and make people want to do something to improve themselves. Why do you want to die alone. If you spent time and invest in your children to be better than their parents, giving them more opportunities than what you ever had, and seeing your kids excel in life, don’t you think that will make you a proud human being. Its really sad to see that marriage nowadays is just so carnal in nature, there is no more understanding between couples. My father always says that his wife is the perfect person that God gave him. They both take care of each other’s short comings, they sit down and pray for grace to live, they sit down and cry and pray for their children. It is not a sudden process, but the longer you put Gold through fire, the better will be it’s purity. But leaving all that aside, man and women were meant to join together in unity and have children and see their generation continue.
It's a good opinion.
@@daniebaby2306 Life is more suffering than happiness FOR EVERYONE.
Happiness is contingent on pain. You can't be happy unless you have been deprived of it first. You are not happy that you eat unless you are hungry. And the more hungry you are... happier you get after starting to eat.
But there are numerous examples where there is no pleasure to compensate the suffering. Let's say your parents die.....there is no compensation for that in terms of pleasure. You just get used to it.
So the best possible scenario is 50/50 pleasure/pain. Because again...you can't be happy unless you have been unhappy or deprived in a way before that.
Non existence is the perfect neutral state. The state which is impossible if you are born.
Non existence is not only better than existence... it's actually the best possible scenario.
Huge Jordan B Peterson fan but I disagree with him on the entire parenthood thing. It's very irresponsible to push having kids on people. People that have kids that they didn't want are the source of all issues in this world.
Along with politicians
It really is lol
@@yomoma6141 of course they are. Nobody is saying they are not.
disagree
I agree with you. It should be a personal choice, not a societal expectation.
"kids are great company"
I worked for disney world.... Noooo...
Not the same
@Despair City did you not see the video 😂? Kids you like and have a connection with. And kids that are “trained” and know how to behave properly.
Like cars are good but you can’t just point at any car and expect it to be exactly what you’re looking for.
@@whychilly5303 thats still makes no sense. kids can be born with irreversible conditions and difficult to manage behaviours. there are no guarantees when having a kid. plus all kids, no matter how great, have bad moments. they’re human. if you dont want to deal with that at all, you should not have a kid.
My niece and nephews are great company. My friends kids are great company. They made me want kids.
@@meganhoggard2749 yeah it really all depends. kids are just people at the end of the day, some of them suck
Okay...but they're not going to discuss the MAIN reason modern young couple aren't having children anymore? You know, the elephant in the room: FINANCES. THE FISCAL AND TIME CONSUMING COST OF RAISING CHILDREN.
Miguel Rodriguez 1 or 2 kids isn’t expensive at all. That’s a myth.
My wife and I are both free lance musicians and aren’t millionaires. We have a 1 year old and have a 2nd one on the way. It’s hard but not impossible. It’s completely worth it. : ) The joy of children completely outweighs any financial burden you might incur
James DaSilva
So you're saying there's still a financial burden
If you really wanted one you’d figure a way. It’s also not as big as a financial burden as you’d think either.
For christ's sake It's not hard if you stop buying so much useless shit it's the same thing as millenials saying 8 dollars an hour is not a living wage well no shit sherlock when your kind of living implies buying every single expensive tech that gets updated in the market and eating outside everyday instead of cooking your own food and such things it's not gonna be a living wage.
i was an awesome uncle to my neices and nephews the best part of it was handing them back to their parents
i have never regretted not having kids
Yep. Sure you'll feel the same way on your death bed in 60 years.
@@learjetswatteam it's mind blowing how much you know about him to know what are going to be his regrets in 60 years... wait, and you also know when is he going to die? my god, I'm in dire need of your services to put my life in order
@eugene if you want to get your pathetic life in order, maybe listen to the people in the video trying to warn you.
@@AnAmericanMusician saying that my life is pathetic is an obvious attack to someone you think is challenging your beliefs, I wasn’t talking to you, and since you have been provoked by my perspective I will only assume you already have kids and deep down you regret your decision and you’re also desperately trying to convince yourself that the opposite is true, if I’m right, I hope you succeed convincing yourself for your kid’s sake, having angry and resentful parents can destroy their lives
@@learjetswatteamMy Grandma died at 87. All alone on her deathbed with nurses later finding her to be dead.
Having kids is no guarantee they will stick around.
And to have kids just so you're not alone when you're 60 or so, is kinda selfish, no?
I find it interesting that the economic costs of having children wasn't one of the factors mentioned. There are so many 1st time parents in their 40's because they lacked the financial means to have children sooner.
If you want it you can do it. Kids aren’t that expensive. I thought the same thing. I’m not pushing anyone to have children.
Alpha Centauri I have one kid it’s not anywhere near 15K.
Alpha Centauri you don’t even have kids and your telling me their expensive,why because you read it online?
Alpha Centauri I didn’t say you couldn’t talk about it. If your smart with your money/finances 1 or 2 kids isn’t expensive at all.
Alpha Centauri in 10 years of raising kids I haven’t experienced these costs you speak of. I guess I’m one of the lucky ones.
I was emotionally underdeveloped and hated children until I went through therapy. I like them now but I'm in my thirties with so much self development to catch up on I don't think I'll be ready for kids before I'm too old to have them 😞
and im in my 30s and still very childlike always was...and its not childish it's childlike
Why do people think if you don’t have kids you won’t be happy? It’s like people can’t accept that other people have found something else in their lives that drives them and makes them happy
it's because people are afraid of being alone they expect kids to be their play doll or vicariously live through them
Who even needs this debate? Why people can't choose themselves? Its your own life.
for conservatives its not enough. they want a complete totalitarian state to control your life
I came here just to write this, I don't want kids.
LegisioM ok
same
I don't either. Maybe that makes me selfish or a bad person, but it is what it is.
@@ked4 no, that does not make you selfish or bad person. that is the only stupid argument people use when a sheeple does not follow the herd. you are selfish they say. in this case they are the one being selfish. pretty much all the reasons they give you to have children are selfish, they do it for themselves not anyone else. many countries are looking to increase birth rate because they need more slaves to feed the system, does anyone stop to think about the new person they are forcing into this rat race? no. not once. they just need more slaves to pay taxes. they just think of them as tools for their own benefit. they do not give a fuck about this new person. then they glorify and over romanticize the fact they had children. they tell you how many sacrifices the had to make for their children. it is all about them, they want to be called heroes, they want to feel special for all the so called hardships they had to endure. oh the heroes. let's make a monument in their honor. they sacrificed themselves for what exactly, oh yeah, they did not want to be alone or just needed someone to take care of them when old.
ked4 It does NOT make you selfish. Your hypothetical child does not exist.
Before having children, more people should run a test drive on what other parents experience from pregnancy to birth to childrearing and at different stages of development from 0 yrs to 22 years old.
If more potential parents were educated, people would either choose not to have children that they can potentially damage or become a very good parent.
Misty Mayhem virtual reality parenting, that’s a great idea
@@jameezybreezy9030 😂😂😂Stop it! Lol
@@user-te6um1rl1e Those are interesting podcasts.
@@jameezybreezy9030 Wait, you were serious. That is a great idea.
great comment! i did it with my nephew
My wife and I are child-free and loving every fucking second of it.
Good for you! I hope to find a child free man one day to have a great time with, just the two of us (and maybe some pets, who knows)
but you can't compare it to having kids, the argument goes both ways
@@novembertwentytwenty3383 who needs to compare anything? Just do what makes you happy and stop comparing to other people.
@@novembertwentytwenty3383
Oh, compare competitions aye?
Only a jealous person would bully and compare the childfree life to parenthood.
What la la land is this guy from??? What if his kids, if he has some, don't pay him back?????
What if you're physically unable to have kids??? What's his answer???
I'LL. NEVER. HAVE. KIDS.
COULDN'T. BE. HAPPIER. ABOUT. THAT. DECISION. 😃😻
People have called me selfish because I never want marriage or kids. What would be selfish is bringing kids in the world you don’t want. My girlfriend and I live together and are happy having the time/freedom/finance to do what we want, when we want 👍😎
seems like you could describe a dog in the same way hes describing a kid lol
I love dogs; they're good people. Lol 😃
On a serious note, I'd rather own a dog.
@@mistymayhem9279 good animals. Animals are not people
@@caasi113 I was joking.
Only a dog won't be expected to sustain itself financially in a world where there's not enough jobs to go around.
Some people told me not to buy a dog, because a dog restricts your options. You can´t just stay somewere else at night, you can´t leave your dog alone for very long time, dogs cost money. You have to take care of a dog for 10 years or even longer. Same people a few years later :"You should have kids"
WTH? I never had kids, because they never interested me enough to have them. Nothing more than that.
That's the thinking process of someone aged 22 max.
@@florentchif4551 Anyone, of any age, can not be interested in having children. I’m 40, and have been with my husband for 20 years. Think again. 😂Maturity and wisdom are knowing that not everyone in life is interested in the same things.
It's a right of passage. Miss it and it's gone forever. Not much point in commenting here. If you chose not to have children You will NEVER know what you missed. But I would never again partner a childless woman!!!
@@kerryfoster1 I've already "missed it," by choice. Die mad about it. 😂Not everyone wants, or should, have children. I had 0 desire to take care of any children in my 20s, 30s, and now, my 40s. I want my husband to myself, and peace and quiet.
I'll be doing the exact same thing, no shame about not having any.
One way to look at something with newfound enthusiasm is to have a kid pointing out interesting things. Another far easier way is to find a reliable magic mushroom supplier.
😅😅😅😅
You make me chuckle
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I needed this laugh, though I don't partake in such plant medicine, I get the gist.
I have 2 kids but i wish i didnt actually have them cause i was already pretty happy as i was. now i have massive responsibility and boredom added to my greatlife.
That’s the saddest thing ever. Wish you enjoyed them. They are innocent and precious .
THOU MUST BREED TO SERVE PROFIT!!!
Nothing wrong with choosing to not have children. This is one guy’s opinion. I agree with Peterson personally.
@1:00 They are unbelievably good company "They pay you back for your care of them" seriously? So do you recommend having children for this reason?
I've been thinking about this lately. How children will someday keep their parents company and look after them. I don't like the idea of growing old and alone. And needing assistance, such as a maid, a housekeeper, or to be at a nursing home. It sounds depressing without children to keep you company and liven up your life and the atmosphere.
So the only reason you’re going to have children is so they can take care of you when you’re old and dying? How unbelievably selfish and narcissistic is that? Furthermore, there’s no guarantee whatsoever that your kids will grow up to love you enough to stick around. From the sound of it your needs are greater than theirs. That sounds like more than enough resentment material for your unbelievably pathological self-absorption from your kids for decades! Children are not to be created solely to be your personal handmaiden or nurse. God, the arrogance of people. How pathetic do you have to be? And don’t worry, you’re frightfully common. All too common. 🙄🙄🙄
liketanyanot Are you talking to me? If you are, I never said I was going to have children or that I wanted children, I was just pointing out a reason that makes some sense to have children from a certain point of view. I was making an observation. And don't get me started about this whole 'selfish Narcissistic self-absorbed' bullshit to have children. People used to have children with the sole purpose of taking care of their farms or homes. That was much more selfish and used to be common place in the old days. People used to have children for the very reason I pointed out, to take care of the elderly when they are older and can't take care of themselves. Also I guess you think having a child because it gives the parents something to love is also selfish. I never said I agreed or disagree with you for all these reasons, but I will now, and I mostly agree with you. I don't plan on having children myself so it's not a problem for me. Stop making assumptions based on my observations. It's just an observation, that's all it is.
liketanyanot stupid bitch didn't even read my comment.
@Bread Still not a good enough reason. especially to bring life on a planet with millions of orphans already here needing care.
He's just telling me why he likes kids....and he likes kids because they're entertaining
Having and raising children really is a great experience. The downside is the economic cost. I have two children and while I wish I could have more, I don't, due to economic reasons.
Especially in the U.S., where we have limited social programs and support for families.
What about environmental reasons? Every child adds a lufespan if consumption of ressources. And overpopulation will kill our Planet sooner or later.
@@CordeliaWagner Population growth would eventually stabilize. It's difficult to estimate the carrying capacity for humans but a population cannot extend past what the environment can withstand, well at least not for very long.
@@celestejacobs7386I'm from a third-world country, and you have absolutely no idea how pampered life in the US is.
@@seriousguy2160 Yeah, obviously every developed country is a lot better to live in than any third world country. But as far as developed countries go, the U.S. is at the very bottom regarding every important metric affecting quality of life. And we're actually regressing even further.
I wish I was born in any other developed country except for this one.
NAH, IM GOOD.
What child does not want to be born?
Bradley Maravalli One that reaches adulthood.
It's possible you may not be so much good as selfish.
how do you know you're a bad parent?
Jennifer Hunt not to downplay any suffering or situations out of your control but keep this in mind...you are here and anyone in your shoes that you encounter will be able to relate to you immediately. You are here for a reason and be grateful for each gift today brings.
Despite Jordan Peterson being such a dynamic thinker, I feel he has such a love for children that he struggles to take into account how individuals my vary on the topic of having children. I'd love to hear him in conversation with someone who doesnt want children, so they can discuss the two sides of it. It feels like all Jordan essentially says about having kids is "its great, its good for you, its the way things go" but what about the people who dont think its great, or who it hasnt been good for, or worry it may be one or both of these things(all which are surely important thoughts to face when it comes to something as massive as being a parent)?
Seems like their reasons to have kids is just pure selfishness.
people should not be force to have children.Each person has the choice to have them or not.
I've been following Jordan and have read his book and agreed on many subjects but not this one. having kids is totally up to individuals.
Of course kids are amazing but kids also grow up the they leave. It's you who make your life more worthwhile and happy.
you can engage with kids not only by being parent but also by persuing your career related to educations or doing volunteer works etc. I have also met amazing religious leaders that influence youths in fantastic ways.
Not to mention I have seen such horrible parents that absolutely ruin their kids life.
I had those type of parents. I would have rather never been born than born to them.
having kids is for everyone. It is your biological purpose
@@ineedaname8250 like the priests or nuns?
@@ineedaname8250you cant force people to have kids. the majority of childfree couples i've seen have zero interest in kids and regret nothing even when they are 70.
if you personally want kids, then i'm glad you're happy about it. but you can't force other people to do things they don't want.
so you dont want kids to leave? whats the point then
Umm...this is pretty presumptuous of him. Not everyone likes children. Not everyone is "fascinated" by them. And definitely not everyone finds that lifestyle desirable. I think some people KNOW they don't want kids. I am one of them.
cjaygrove yup, this exactly. Man is stuck in his own little world, not everyone agrees with you on everything. Amazing how people that age still have not discovered that... how
Agree. He sees it too much from his own perspective. But from my perspective I'd just get annoyed by what he has described. And I much more enjoy communicating with people who are on my own intellectual level.
Amen!
@@vitaminb4869 1st: if you get annoyed by that, you have real personnel issues that you should really tackle as of today, especially if you are 30 or more. 2nd: you talk about intellectual level. Do you consider yourself an intellectual person? If so, what about sharing your intellect with people that could benefit you, meaning kids and younger people ? You are so blind in your own individualism. Your life is not about you, believe it or not.
@@florentchif4551 so I'm not allowed to get annoyed by things you find pleasing? What kind of a nazi-communist regime is that? We're all individuals with different interests and perspectives. You like screaming, jumping kids beside you, then good for you. I enjoy peace. 2nd: I'm open to share my intellect with others. That doesn't mean I must surround myself with annoying things, getting myself tied up to them, essentially giving up on my own freedom and passions. My life is my own, and it is primarily about me. If you have a different view and rather be a slave to someone, then it is your own life too, you do what you want.
I love Jordan Peterson, he is such a father figure to many people, but in this argument, I don't necessarily agree with him, kids are a blessing of course, but it's selfish when you decide to have kids without being able to get them a good life when it comes to their education, health, and lifestyle in general. Personally, I am 25 year old dude from a middle eastern country, very introverted, and socially anxious and can't wait to go out and see the world I am missing. So even if I have kids one day it will be in my late thirties at least.
Jordan Peterson is a brilliant man. This is the one topic I will never agree with him on for me. It may be true for some people, but I cannot do it. I never wanted children and I never will.
Same here.
JP: Life is suffering, have kids.
Misery likes company.
Life is misery kids are a waste of time
Pay attention.
@@thereisnoheavenorhell8227 Completely missing every point he says.
@ no i dont think they are at all. all of petersons reasons for having kids are terrible and entirely self serving
Wow, you really don't understand what he's saying at all. Watch it again and try putting some thought into it this time. Life is suffering whether you like it or not or whether you believe it is or not.
My son has changed my life forever. My husband and I are having another this Spring (he was planned the first was not) so that was an experience. But I would never change it. I didn’t feel ready at first although my husband totally was. We had been married 7 months. He often says, “How could someone not want this?” Referring to our son. And I agree. He truly has changed everything. I’d do absolutely anything on this planet for him. I’m not as selfish and although I truly cared for others before, wow it really wakes you up! To enjoy life through his eyes is hard to describe. We wish to have four and I thank God for the two we have now ❤ just saying, it is amazing.
I'm 27 now and my divorced parents never even got me braces. I told them it's too late now the psychological damage is already done. So many times I had women smile at me in the hallway and I never had the confidence to smile back with my crooked ugly teeth.
You do realize that you can get braces or Invisalign as an adult and about half of orthodontic patients are adults?
At 18 you could've had a job with dental insurance and gone to get braces. You'll find that they're expensive either way and more because it's cosmetic than anything.
If you had so many women smiling at you randmly then I'd assume you aren't ugly. Consider being attractive as a gift from your parents?😂
19 year old male here and I can confidently say I will never have kids… I’m too distracted and unmotivated it would be wrong for me to bring a child into existence with me as the father it would just be unfair my family’s bloodline with be over once I die whenever that is
Shame on you
You are 19 years old. What is to say your perspective won't change in a year, 5 years, 10 years? Not to mention that your entire bloodline struggled for hundreds and thousands of years just for you to decide not to have children. That is extremely disgraceful. But at the end of the day it is your choice. 🤔
@@deafleopard337 my stance on it is not going to change ever …. And tbh the whole “blood line struggle” thing is old I never asked to be a part of said bloodline so I will not bear responsibility to continue it
@@hello-sz7hpstfu. Love your life lmao
@@deafleopard337how is that disgraceful for ending bloodline?
Having kids or not having kids is like any other decision: there’s a risk of regret. That’s just the nature of making choices. That’s why experience and introspection are so vital - to be as sure as possible you choose the right path. It’s more accurate to say parenthood CAN be fulfilling rather than IS fulfilling.
Wowzers. You ate for real. Straight facts
Having kids is (if at all!) a decision like no other.
This is the way The Doctor describes having a companion!!
I agree a lot with this conversation, in particular when Dave Rubin mentions that he was fascinated by his nephew's response when he figured out that Darth Vader tells Luke he was his father! That struck me because it means you can enjoy those experiences without actually having children of your own. With insights like those, you can have your cake and eat it , too!
No you can't. It's not the same and everyone knows it.
For such an intelligent man this is very narrowminded.
maybe the houses he no longer sees we can use for a metaphor for how he sees every potential parent
Having a child is just one of a million choices one can have.... it's ridiculous that people support eating and sexual choices more than having a choice in this matter...no amount of Ur logic can deny my rational of not having them. Period.
Well you its there life so its there choice to have kids or not. I can understand you don't want to have kids and you must have good reasons. For it but at the end of the day everyone is free to what they want to do
So weird that you’re here watching this then.
There's a quote from Walt Disney that reminds me of how children sometimes see the world differently from adults. It's this: “Everybody in the world was once a child. So in planning a new picture, we don't think of grown-ups, and we don't think of children, but just of that fine, clean, unspoiled spot down deep in every one of us that maybe our pictures can help recall.”
What if you have multiple genetic issues like autism, bipolar, depression etc... not to mention unfavourable financial circumstances?.... Has he considered that a lot of people don't want to pass down their genetic flaws.....
They can't address every single argument in a 7 minute video...
This coment section is a breath of fresh air.
Im never having children. I don't have the patience to deal with them.
I'm 65 and I had no patience for my girlfriend's dog. How can I be in an inclosed room with myself, a girl and some screaming kids...
Same here
I haven't a father I'd like to be the best for my sons
1. children are expensive to have, id rather spent that money into travelling around the world with business class... 2. having children is like lottery draws, and i dont have the best luck in the world. . 3. i can see that i am going to be a terrible parent, why let the children suffer?
is this comment a joke? or do you mean those 3 points?
Fair.
@@suumcuique4530 Why would it be a joke?
Agreed~
Expensive, travelling, lottery, suffering...yeah..it is better for you to stay away from parenthood...you are still child enough.
This is the first time I've seen Peterson give anything but a multi-perspevtive well thought out answer.
That's because it's a 12 minute clip and he's summarizing his point of view. If you want his opinion, that is fully unpacked, you'd have to watch a whole host of videos.
I'm not having children because I want to spare them from having a bad day or working their whole lives only to be forgotten because they were NOT a celebrity and let's be honest when you're born HERE there's going to be a few bad days and "a few bad days " is me being polite.
Jordan describing how he doesn’t see houses when walking down the street and everything seems like dead memory icons because he’s seen it all before sounds like his depression speaking as he still had it at the time of this interview.
Depression takes away the ability to appreciate and enjoy the nuances, subtleties, colours, sights and sounds of everyday life. I’m 25 and still feel like I’ve barely experienced what the world has to offer. It’s sad to think he felt like this by only 30.
He is a cruel breeder to have known his family medical history and still deciding to have children, through which passing his mental illness (probably illnesses on the physical front too) to his daughter who struggles with both mental and physical ailments from childhood (and is bound to repeat the trauma cycle as a mother of 1).
Psychologists always seem to have the most whacky and dysfunctional families. I’ve known quite a few and all are as tapped out and crazy as their clients. And their kids- often just turn out to be failures who never could live up to expectations.
If you have intergenerational trauma in your family, don't have kids! If you dont have the resources, dont have kids! If you're emotionally abusive, neglectful, immature etc, dont have kids! Coming from a 32 year old woman who had parents that were bad at life and now has Complex PTSD
Agreed
This should just be common sense. He’s not speaking about the type of people you just described though.
Same here, I had horrible parents as well.
Misery loves company.
Has he ever heard of child abuse? Ppl who had kids and then treated them like shit. My mother was a raging narcissist and her kids meant less to her than the clothes in her closet. I grew up emotionally tortured and in a loveless house. My mother never wanted kids. So why did she have us? Because society makes ppl would don't want kids feel defective. So they have kids they don't want and the kids suffer. Go look at some videos about narcissistic parents.
He touches on many great points; but let's face it, not everyone is fit to be a parent! Plus, there are people who struggle with love and never end up finding someone to have them with! Lastly, it just isn't for some people!
The video is not actually convincing. But having been around kids I know how much joy and happiness they bring.
-Peterson : "The older you get the more what you see of the world is your memory"
-LSD: "Why do you think I'm here for?"
Jordan is truly gifted in his field. He could probably do half of the Muppet voices, if he wanted.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 this is hilarious
Lmaooo 😭
Moron
Love this !
"I actually found it more enjoyable to do things with little kids than with the adults." -JBP 1:51 - 1:57
LMAOO PEDOPHILE QUOTES
@@neonxnational 😂😂😂😂😂
@@neonxnational Any teacher could have literally said that phrase
there is no fun in not having children, but a peace of mind that you've spared them the burden of experiencing an inherently cruel reality. not selfishness, but emapthy should be the driving motor of antinatalism.
I'm having plenty of fun not having kids lol, I can go out and enjoy good times with friends while friends with kids are at home because they can't find a babysitter and they are enjoying their evening watching same episode of thomas the train for the 5th time that day.
@Alpha Goat I also find it hard to bring someone into the world knowing they have to suffer to progress, and suffer to exist. Somehow people like to argue that it's a good thing to suffer. As if we couldn't be happy if we didn't suffer. Even if that is true, it doesn't mean we should be keen on creating beings who can come suffer. Isn't that why we despise the devil
@@brod2man Bravo!!! See you get it.
@@HikaruYamamoto 😒 have fun when you are the fifty year old hanging at a bar with 20 something. the sense if empityness will fill you when it's too late.
@@ItsEricaBeyetch Oh I don't even like alcohol lol. Isn't the bar a place for parents to run away from their kids and drink away all their sorrows? Instead I will be having fun traveling with the love of my life for many many many of years. I won't be empty with all my friends and my husband. I think you will be a bit more empty if your children end up abandoning you. I see it happen all the time. Instead I will be happy I didn't rip open my vagina and have pee or even poop incontinence fro popping one out. Never will I be a single mom trying to desperately date someone. I won't ever have an ex lingering in my life. I won't ever have to deal with grief from losing a kid either. I won't be losing my freedom or identity. I don't need to pop out some people to keep me company. I'm not that unpopular lol. Also how am I going to sleep in so much and play video games for hours on end if I have to keep taking care of a kid? Most parents seem to be the most lonely and miserable and I really want no part of that. So I will enjoy the beach with my husband when I am 50 something :D
Not necessarily a why you should, but more of a why people think they shouldn't
Love most of Jordan Petersons’ ideas , however this one in my opinion seems to come of as a very selfish set of reasonings. It’s all about what can make “my life” fresher or happier , or spark a new light in my life. As if I’m bored with life now so let’s bring a kid in to make it more fun. Forgetting what almost all will have to go through in there time here.
I honestly have no desire to have MY OWN biological children in any way, shape or form and I absolutely love kids of all ages. I've always wanted to be a step mother though. Weird. This is a beautiful conversation and I hope the people who need to see it see it
You would have probably been a great stepmom. Some out there though 😢😏🙄
Same !!
I still don't see any good reason to have them.
edit : nice to see people agree with me
Nether Fel lonely old you.....
@@kerryfoster1 it is sad to see people not wanting kids , they give you endless trust and love , and they act like your legacy in some way .
Who wants to die alone with no family.
Your wife is not fulfilling that for you
@@captainjow1518 Wow... So if that is the only reason you want kids that is absolutely selfish to create a human being because they will be burden with crucial reality. How can you do that to a pure innocent soul?
@@tamannie2175 do what exactly? You make sound like am torturing them or smth
@@captainjow1518 First of all, children aren't the only ones that can give you endless trust and love. You can also have that relationship with other humans and animals. But if you choose to create a human being for that purpose, the child also needs to live in a crucial reality world that would destroy their pure innocent soul.
So you have the capacity to see the world in a new light through conscious effort & art. Yet, JP wants me to have children so i can use them to achieve this - which will only last through their brief childhood until they become like everyone else.
Great argument (not)
My god your are such a pathetic teenager in the body of a grownup who thinks is smarter than any body. You don't get the point at all and here you talk...
Florent Chif I think he does get the point quite clearly. The argument is that the reason you should have kids is so that you can enjoy life again and see things in a new light for bike isn’t boring. You can achieve the same thing by taking a few college courses are going to therapy
@@florentchif4551 No, you are the one that doesn't get it at all! All the things Jordan argues for having a child is beneficial are all purposes for absolutely only himself. And he totally ignores the fact that children will grow to how he sees the world.
Jordan peterson said he spent more time with his kids than with his friends...he said his father spent a lot of time with him as a kid... my parents did not spend lots of time with my brothers and myself as kids. What do parents in our culture today do that would make their kids want to grow up to have kids of their own?
7:17 it's so good just to have this acknowledged out loud because it's a legitimate shame/burden/fear to carry on one's shoulders. So heavy.
He partially generalizes kids as being charming and funny and all positive things, at least in the beginning. Maybe he'll cover this later in the video but kids don't always turn out that great and entertaining. My brothers are legitimate sociopaths. It mostly depends on who you are and who you reproduce with (they're mostly sociopathic because of who their father is). However some of them just turn out to be bad eggs spontaneously
maybe you're the sociopath
Nah, almost all of them are very charming
@@SeptimusTSS no you regret having kids.
I'm a big fan of JP. But this hasn't convinced me. I'm in a weird place where I kind of assumed that I'd have kids. I fell in love with someone who doesn't want a family. So although I thought I'd have kids, I struggle to visualise it and I just don't know what to do. I worry about potentially regretting it. But I also think that having children out of fear of regret is not the right reason to have them. Besides, my other half doesn't want them, we don't have a support network to help us (like all of my friends do), my friends who have kids don't particularly look happy, they look stressed out and I know that I'd worry sick too. I'm also on the brink of turning 40. Seems like life is pointing me towards the no kids route. But I do feel sad that one of us will be alone when we're older. My other half has even said that she doesn't want me to be unhappy and understands if I want to try to find someone else to start a family with. But there's no one else for me. I don't want to be with anyone else. I just wish that I could stop thinking about this now and move on.
I would say in your situation, don't have kids if you are content with how your life is. A kid will turn everything upside down. If you don't have a big support system that's even worse, and it will be much harder for you guys, which may end up splitting you apart.
I had 4 kids they are spaced out and I love kids, love being around kids, I would have had many more if it wasn’t so expensive and my body could handle it. I think we all make choices, kids or not it should be each persons choice. I don’t think we should force anyone one way or the other, just respect each other. I always wanted to be a mother and it was literally my only dream in life and as amazing of experience I have had it’s not what other people would want for themselves and that’s okay.
Why didn't you just become a kindergarten teacher instead of contributing to overpopulation?
@@CordeliaWagnerwhy do you chose to argue her choice over her body rather than contribute to peace amongst eachother?
Difference is … a lot of people can’t afford houses and it’s hard to want a kid when they might have to switch school on your landlords watch
I have a newborn. Rough! I wish I could enjoy more time with him but work is so stressful and trying to improve myself to make more is really tough too.
He won't remember, so cut yourself some slack.
awww
Why didn't you first improve yourself?
Dogs are also really funny and playful soooooooo. I just feel that this is just Jordan's personal opinion.
Spot on JP! As a 61 yr old father, soon to be 1st time grandparent, as one ages, you become desensitized to life's regularities, where the dynamics of children keep life full. Then the dial turns up further with the advent of grandchildren! Yippee! Bring it on, I say!
true but women don't want the burden of a full-time job and full-time mothering forever.
Children are awesome! My daughter has given both her father and I so much purpose in life. Work used to be absolutely miserable. Now that we have a life to provide for, it has become so fulfilling.
“It’s efficient, but sort of dead” man, Peterson is great