Read our entire series here ► www.theguardian.com/us-news/series/childfree We want to hear from childfree women: share your experience ► guardiannewsandmedia.formstack.com/forms/being_childfree_in_the_us
The Guardian this is not accurate as people are not honest and you just want to make it sound so ok and normal there’s a lot more going on in a woman’s mind that’s decided I don’t want kids. But comes home to several cats and teddy bears.
The more childfree people of all ages share their experiences, the more the myths surrounding the childfree lifestyle will dispel. There are those who don’t want to believe or hear anything a childfree person has to say, but for any who are curious, there is a vibrant community.
Please pose this same question to men. Would love to see that b/c it's not a unique issue to women (maybe a few different nuances of course) but same endpoint...no kids. Thanks. If you already have, please post that video.
I used to nanny full-time, 10 hours a day. That was the moment for me when I decided, I don't want kids. I really get along with kids so easily, but it's been so enlightening for me to see that these next (hopefully) 30 or 40 years of my life will be filled with work, hobbies, volunteering and family and friends. What a gift that is!
It's controversial because child free women are just told they'll come around to it, change their minds, regret not having kids, etc. Several doctors also refuse to perform sterilization surgery for the same reasons. Women aren't complaining just to complain. They want their wishes to be taken seriously.
I will not see your reply. I think you misunderstand my post. I'm talking about the people who make it controversial because they're appalled by the mere fact that a woman can choose not to have children. That's Fucking Hilarious
I don’t understand how people go on about how painful childbirth is and what a complete struggle and sacrifice raising children is but judge people for not wanting it.
James Gillings typically ‘Karens’ are stay at home mothers and housewives of a certain generation that feel so bitter about not having their own career because they spent most of their lives cleaning up after their kids that they take their issues out on strangers and act as a ‘Karen’ as a cry for attention. Having kids does not guarantee that you won’t be lonely- your kids may not be in your life if they choose so. Grow up.
This mindset is the main problem. Nobody seems to think from the perspective of the child, only themselves and how they are benefitted by having a baby.
Jason Martin the problem that many people overlook is that a child isn’t there before conception. So before conception, only the parents are there to be benefitted. So fundamentally a child cannot benefit from being born, regardless of the state of the world.
Agree! I have never met a man who demanded children. LOL! Add to that, I have never known of any man who wants to raise another man’s child. These ladies are taking a BIG risk to have children. Look at all the single moms in this country! If the father of her child leaves, she decreases her desirability according to most men. That’s not my opinion…it’s fact.
Calling people who don't want children "selfish" is the most absurd thing of all. Bringing unwanted children into the world, that's what's truly selfish.
@@kiwi.1243 a child does not ask to be brought into the world, it is a decision made by the parents' based on a want. They *want* to pass on their genes, they *want* to raise a new human being, they *want* to conform to societal norms, etc. The child, of course, has no say in this decision.
I'm a 44 year old man, I don't have kids nor have I ever had the desire to. These women have the right to make the same decision without being shamed. A video like this shouldn't even be necessary in the 21st century.
Thank you so much for seeing things from a woman’s perspective and being brave enough to be vocal about it. Lots of men are too ignorant and cowardly to do that.
Or as your caregiver in your senior years. I’ve been asked sssoooo many times.... “well who’s going to take care is your when your old?” I’m like- yeah that’s a terrible reason to have kids. Save up for your senior care.... it’s selfish to expect your children to be your caregivers and do nothing to plan for your own care.
Im 27 years old and since I was 16 I decided that I did not want to be a mother and everyone tells me that I’m a self entitled brat and that I’m being selfish. Childbirth is very painful and it’s something that can cost you your life and that is what is truly selfish because you can’t force someone to practically put there lives at risk. I’m glad to see more and more men and women that agree and support others that want to live a child free life.
@@cassandra9581 How is it selfish to want a family? It's what the vast majority of humans want to do and is very hard work, you literally give your life to a other out of love
Why are people mad about some women not wanting to have children. The world is getting overpopulated anyways. Some people not wanting to have kids is not a crime.
Fall7Standup8 Chosen The world is overpopulated relatively to the ressources that we have left. There are too many people for not enough food, water etc. Mainly because of the overconsumption in industrialized countries and overuse of natural ressources for profit. Scientists predict that sooner or later, even in the richest parts of the world, there won’t be enough food and water for everybody. Some even say that the future generations will never know what it’s like eating some of the things we eat today like fish for example.
To anyone reading this message: If you are not absolutely certain that you want to have kids...PLEASE DO NOT HAVE KIDS! Every child deserves to be wanted.
I'm 41 and not a mother by choice. I've been called selfish many, many times. I've been told that my life would be pointless, that no one would take care of me when I'm old...like nursing homes are bursting with thankful sons and daughters 24/7. I realized that NOT having the desire was the #1 indicator. I'm proud if my choice, I honestly do not care what people tell me anymore. My happiness depends on something else.
@@GodsFavDrunkDriverIf breeding is the only purpose, then the lives of your children are worthless unless they have kids themselves. Does that sit well with you to admit that?
i think every child should have a parent but not every person should be a parent will be more suitable. Cause there are parents who no longer have a child
As a woman who doesn't want to have children ever, I'm so glad I ran into this video. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only woman to feel this way and suffer the pressure of conforming to the idea of procreation. Not enough people realize how damaging it is to put pressure on those that don't wanna have kids. That's how you create bad parents who will possibly resent their children for the rest of their lives. And the children do not deserve that at all.
@@trashnamedalana7524 Life is always going to be scary no matter what. Stick by your choices and forget about resentment, there is no way to avoid it sometimes and you are not responsible if they feel that way and don't need to sacrifice your happiness to avoid selfish resentment.
Right, even though I'm kind of in between on whether or not I want kids. At 21 years old, I'm already mostly in the position and decision of not wanting kids at all.
Omgg its so cool to see someone older than me who doesn't have kids cause people always tell me "i'm too young to know that" or "i'll obviously change my mind when i'm older" which sucks hearing
@@Hibiscus123 Kells and windmills and Shay Mccay dark wood cabinets above where there's oil and grease on the high school chemistry lab table leading to lots some complaints from classmates about that all in the different room across the hall you go in and sit down one day. Next, trip to Andover for music competition in 2 days but then when you're on the bus and when it's a bit dark at six in the morning to go there, and hear the noise while going fast, it reminds you of compounds of the oil and orangish red grease from food
@@Hibiscus123 Would you consider leaving on a red cloth regular table lamp in the bedroom and a tubular vintage oval bulb desk lamp in the office, and seeing which type of bulb burns out first after a while, "doing an experiment" ?
@Benghali In Platforms We are born to be so many things, from artists to scientists. I'm sorry but almost all mothers I know are misarable, on pills and some openly say they regret having children. We are not animals and civilization was build on us rejecting our biological "destiny".
@Benghali In Platforms well, in a biological sense we born to reproduce the specie, but not at all because we have other kind of mental development compared with other animals. We are the major plague in the world, this place doesn't need more humans, the world needs to be repaired. And we aren't baby incubators, due to our mental development, a human has the capability to create and explore other kind of things. Well, being a millennial mentally is not bad, this generation is more conscientious about world.
I hate "but who is going to take care of you when you're old?". That's what's really selfish to me. Your children deserve to have a life of their own. What if they want to move to the other side of the world? There are other ways to prevent loneliness.
My mother to!d me that having kids prevented her from living her life. She told me when you have kids your life ends. Needless to say I've never had kids. I don't regret it and I appreciate my mom's truth.
I'm single, childfree, and happy. I cannot believe people shame women like me. Why not devote that energy to parents that abuse and neglect their children? They are more detrimental to society than ladies like us.
The real tragedy is that our society makes children look like objects, we all have been kids once and having to see that an innocent creature is deemed as a tragedy is absolutely bad to say.
Keystone_XONE I think what the person is trying to say is that there I many people in the world that are having kids but don’t care to take the responsibility of having one, and then the kid ends up not having the proper care. It’s not the child itself that’s the tragedy, but’s it’s the suffering the kids has to go through when being taken care of by irresponsible people/parents that are having kids when they shouldn’t be that’s the tragedy
Having kids is not a life obligation, it's a personal choice, not everyone has the desire to be a parent. I sure know that my wife and I are happy with our lives without children. It's okay not to have children and there shouldn't be such a huge stigma to the subject.
Daniel Rumbacher then go have 8 and deal with 8 wardrobes, 8+ mouths to feed, 8 mfs to get ready for school, 8 mf cars, 8 mf college tuitions like bye😂😂
True I agree.. But does your wife really feel that way? I know when I was younger I didn't want children but the moment I got with my husband I knew I wanted children with him.
@@memyselfandimom Because you want children, they don't. Children are not the most important part of someone's relationship. One can have an amazing and fulfilling relationship without a need for kids. Having children drains you mentally, physically and financially. It is a decision you consciously make, you don't rush to it. And some people don't think that is important and that is totally okay.
Yeah, most people see kids as babies, and then complain when they discover that their children are not an extension of themselves and can’t govern their life .OH, and the best , they shame people that don’t want kids for not choosing the same ..it is a validation of choices I think
Exactly they're raising another person to compete in the rat race , defo ending my blood line , might adopt cause I believe kids in orphanages want a family or a proper house
Chosing to not have kids is so far from being selfish. For me i feel the world is over populated and there are so many children in care who need a family. I dont want to birth my own child but would love to adopt, and have known that since a teenager.
Yes, I absolutely feel the same way! Too many are worried about their bloodline only when there’s too many in the system without a family. adoption needs more promotion..
I guess people automatically forget that there are orphans and children in foster care. They just conveniently forget about abusive parents or children growing up in poverty. The wilful ignorance is a bit disgusting, quite frankly.
My hubby wants kids (we are 25 and 27) but as much as I love him, he is not ready. We fight over splitting bills or that he has a lot of savings and I have not and I think he does not see how a baby is very expensive and involves a lot of financial decisions. I also feel like I am not ready for kids at all. I want to travel the world and a child would ruin my plans. Covid made it even worse as I have a bucket list I want to do before even considering kids and I already am way behind and now travelling has been impossible for almost a year and it does not get better.
Would you consider leaving on 2 tables lamps with 2 different types of bulbs and seeing which lamp burns out first, how long it takes for each one, and why, a type of science experiment? ??
@@jasonvolta3657 They are generally still very happy with their decision. Childfree isn't that new of a concept. There are women in their 60s and older who are perfectly happy with their choice. You don't need to have children to be happy.
I told this guy I’m dating I don’t want kids, I don’t want to go through childbirth, he said “it’s the pain that makes it beautiful” sir how would you know?
@@asheru9254 I'm 37. Married 19 years. One cat. Two dogs. No kids. Since you're wanting to compare animals here. I seen a kid take a dump on the living room floor. Having kids and animals is messy. There's no difference. Animals are easier to care for than a human.
@saket adarsh you get to sleep, you're not at risk of having any complications/don't have to deal with the problems of being pregnant, you have more money, you will have more time for your friends and/or partner who will also give you love, you don't have to worry about being a bad parent and raising/teaching the kid, it won't be loud all the time, ...
Does anyone else get the impression that some of the women who criticize and question others for not having children are actually doing so because they felt pressured into it, and now they feel bitter seeing a woman living a full and happy life without children?
YES! YES! YES! YES! You’re absolutely correct! There are women who hate seeing another woman progress in life because she didn’t have that opportunity to be her best in life so these type of women go around sabotaging and insulting other women whose life is different than hers. It’s internal misogyny.
My parents are teachers and SO many kids are neglected by their parents. Putting them in every club possible, bed as soon as they get home, expecting teachers to fulfil more and more of the parental role - spending as little time with them as possible. You wonder why they had children it’s very sad. Often, it is to secure a wallet but I don’t think you should have kids if you aren’t committed to loving and raising them!
Ugh...tell me about it. Also, I have noticed women that have kids are taken more seriously in a social gathering, their opinions are respected more, even if they are way younger n inexperienced.
As a person whose mom told me many times how much she regretted having me, I'd say if you're not ready to accept your child's imperfections... Don't have kids.
There were hundreds of years when "non-behaving", authentic, beautiful, smart and individualistic women would be burned alive. Since then the mindset of most people hasn't changed much. They would love to see us childfree women burn again because they themselves never had the guts to stick to their own believes and principals and burst out of anger and jealousy.
Would you consider leaving on a red lamp in the bedroom and an oval light in the office and seeing which burns out first after a longtime, doing an experiment?
@@redredred8408 I have seen you and your alt accounts do this for the past year. Why do you spend your time 24/7 just trying to be wise/funny and not do something else?
A lot of people in these comments judge and say women who are child free will be "miserable and bitter"... Uhmm children arent magic. Ive seeb a lot of mothers being "miserable and bitter" too.
Yup some ppl think having a child is everything n den when you do its like i ruined my life.. some moms go tru post partum n hormonal issues n guess what kids dont care if ur having a mental breakdown sometimes a kid is not the best
Heck yes every dang mom I meet is always complaining about their kids (and husbands) and its like they're so unhappy all the time. I never want that to be me!
I'm 62...I've heard it all. You're selfish, you'll die alone, what about your legacy? I opted for serving my country in the military rather than motherhood. My legacy? Their freedom... that is my legacy as a veteran. Try calling a veteran selfish. I will spend my declining years alone in a nursing home with all the moms out there whose kids are too busy to visit.
"I opted for serving my country in the military rather than motherhood." You would have been more useful as a mother of 2+ children. Without an adequate birthrate, there is nothing to protect
I don’t want kids. Never did and never will. People don’t like that as a woman i don’t want to reproduce but for some reason, no one questions men for not wanting kids. The double standard is disgusting
Or they undermine women's choices by saying things like "oh you will someday" "oh you just haven't met the right guy yet" - listen Karen I don't want kids!!
I am a 40 year old man. I guess I just like my freedom to do what I want outside of work too much and the financial stress would be too much to deal with.
I decided not to have kids when I turned 23 and pandemic started , I had to compete and struggle to make ends meet also I still live with my parents alot of people in India do ,I have always wanted to adopt a kid
I do not want to have children, the world is not easy and everything indicates that it will only get worse. I don't want to put a child in the world to suffer.
The only people who judge women for not having children are people who most likely regret having children haha. Don’t project onto me. I love not having kids right now. Saves a lot of money and I’m young. Enjoying my youth not being burden down with kids.
Pez in my 20s. Twenties are for you to build your empire, discover yourself, enjoy your time. Etc. not a time for children. Just my opinion. Why waste young years on kids.
I was recently judged by a co-worker for getting Easter Sunday off from work. She went around to everyone explaining how I don’t deserve the day off because I “don’t have kids or a family” this is the type of thinking that has to stop.
@@nikhilnewse3318 people who don’t have kids aren’t alone and miserable. They often have other family and friends in there life and people who are child free need days off too you know. You don’t know what’s happening in there life.
@@nikhilnewse3318 no there not maybe some are but not everyone. I never said that they deserve more paid leaves but they do deserve paid leave in general. They might have something important to deal with, childfree/childless people have problems too you know.
@@nikhilnewse3318 the poster is talking about being judged by another coworker for having a day off NOT for having more days off than the coworker, so it has nothing to do with what you’re talking about. Your comment comes across as degrading to the poster and in defense of the coworkers gossiping/bad-mouthing.
They just want control over us. Men still barely help out with the kids if they don’t completely abandon thier family completely and then try to shame women who refuse to make the sacrifices they never make either.
Hey come on I'm a man and I don't want kids either, I respect and support all women who choose not to have kids, and both men and women shouldn't be pressured into having kids by their partners.
I was just talking to a friend yesterday and she started telling me that she was angry at her mom for not having telling her the reality about having kids, that she only told her a fantasy and never told her all the pains and horrors that happen to the body, mental health, financially etc... I felt sorry for her... So, women! Please stop sugar-coating maternity please.
this generation is raised non pain, only gain. Cannot understand that life is a struggle, nature is struggle, nothing is offered, all must be conquered.
Having a baby does alter a woman's body (and mind) and there may be negative side effects like post partum depression. Andrea Yates (the mother of her 5 drown children) is a prime example of what can go terribly wrong.
Im 34 and don’t want kids and don’t even want to date people with children. So my dating profiles say “I don’t want kids and I’m sorry but I don’t want yours either”
I have the same thing on my profile as well. Do you find you still have those with children still contacting you? That's ALL I get. I put it right at the beginning of my profile and I still get fathers contacting me.
@@solointheburbs ok, I thought I was the only woman who did this. And YES, I get single fathers who contact me all the time. I'm like, "why would you even consider someone who expressly stated that she doesn't want to date someone with kids?" I totally don't get it, but maybe more videos like this will help people better understand that if we don't have kids, we don't want yours
NamesIWantAreInvalid they are not saying it because of the actual feeling, they are referring to the fact that regretting having children actually affects your child, in ways that can be very damaging. if you regret not having children, it would be a terrible feeling but it wouldn’t affect another human being for the rest of their lives. plus, if you change your mind about kids, you could always adopt, but if you children you can never undo that.
Sarah Franz they probably say that because your parents want grand babies😊 And the reason ppl don’t say “you’ll change your mind” to kids who what babies is because that’s the norm. Ppl grow up and eventually have kids🤷🏾♂️
@@stardustnation2480 Im pretty sure she doesn't have to have kids if she doesn't want to . Imagine being raise by a mother that never wanted you but was forced to have you because of pressure .
People assume that women dont want children because they are selfish, self interested, afraid of childbirth or dont want to damage their bodies. The truth is some women have dreams that dont include childbirth and that doesnt make her a bad person. Also not wanting biological children doesnt mean you dont want children at all. Everybody is different.
I've never wanted kids but got a stepdaughter and have loved being her stepmom. She is now 17. I've nannied for years and LOVE children. I just have never felt that urge or calling to have my own. Ive heard other women talk about that feeling and I've just never had it. I have a lot of pressure on me from everyone (not my husband thank goodness) but I'm sure in 5 or so years people will back off when its not a choice for me anymore.
I'm a dude. This push to get pregnant freaked me out. Read into that what you want. I just can't believe that's a casual conversation. That sounds so violating.
Smart people don't have nearly as many children as dumb people. Sounds like more of a smart people problem. If you really cared that much, maybe you would've had kids.
Never underestimate less educated women for being mothers. Sometimes they are smarter, tough fighters and don't forget there are succesful person who raised by mothers who never enter school buildings.
I've been single for almost 5 years because I don't want kids and I don't want to date a woman that has children. So basically my options are extremely limited since 90% of women have/want kids. 😩
Fair enough but why was trying to toughen up not the choice you made? It's very much true that life's meaning is found in voluntary adoption of responsibility.
Im 43 and have never wanted children. The pressure, hate and stupidity I faced in my 20s and 30s is fast becoming envy. I have a very happy stress free life without kids. I have no regrets. Happily married for 20 years, neither of us ever wanted kids and are perfectly happy. I am not a freak. We are not freaks. (And yes i have been called that) enjoy your kids and save your judgement. I’m happy
@@chooseaname30 Please stop. Judgement is judgement, not an evolutionary tool. Also please back up your claim that ''Most women realise this after a while & the regret hits like a freight truck''.
Why does everyone assume we'll be alone when we're old? Quite a few of my female friends don't want kids, so we'll just party together. I'm 19 and don't have kids, am I alone? No, I have my friends, I have my family, other people may have a significant other, children aren't the only people that count as not being alone.
It's very strange that people will praise women who have loads of kids and only feed them plain toast but condemn these women who have not done anything wrong.
Ik what you are trying to say but it's not poor people faults that they can't feed their children. The market can't satisfied the demand for jobs needed. Much less for quality job that let you have a decent standard of living (livable wage). You can have people working 40 hrs a week and just barely making ends meet.
@@jirafita123ify but why still have kids then if you know that youre poor? statistically poor people are always having babies more than rich people or middle class people sooo why??? like i genuinely wanna know. like why should i feel bad for my 23 year old ex friend who chose to have a baby while she was living in a tent? smh
With times today and the cost of living.. having kids is like a luxury. My husband and i simply have agreed that we can not afford a kid, so we decided not too. we have no regrets and happy.
@Me Dna Homophobic comment And anyday would we rather be a member of LGBTQ than to raise a child with hunger, no new clothes, no money for education and hobbies or vacation. Some people actually think before they bring a new life into this world.
@@HH-bz6me asking if you are a homosexual is being homophobic ? i wish i was so 💖 privileged 💖 that the things i could be offended over are LITERAL questions ... girl 💀
Yes this is what should be done! I learned my lesson, I used to openly discuss my life with people (not friends, I'm talking about like coworkers) and let's just say the conversation never made me feel better afterwards. They would critique me on everything (especially me leaving religion which shouldn't even be discuss at work) so from now on when anyone asks me anything personal I've been saying "I rather not talk about this." And I immediately change the subject
Yeah, I am 35, I was struggling so many years thinking I wanted kids. When I realized that I was struggling, because I really don't want kids, I finally felt free when I could tell myself: I don't have to have kids.
"You will regret it." - I'd rather regret NOT having kids than regret having kids. In the first scenario I am the one suffering. But in the latter there are two people who suffer - me and most importantly the INNOCENT child, who was born out of pressure from the society. Of course there is a possibility I will change my mind. But why is my opinion about not having kids dismissed so easily? When people ask me why I don't want kids I will answer truthfully with thought. But when ask why they want to have kids, a lot of times people don't even know. That is disturbing to me. You should KNOW why you want to bring a little human being to this world.
You’re so right. My mom married because of the pressure she was under (she lost her father before her time of marriage and no one wanted to marry her). She was basically looking for a marriage status more than love and she had the mindset that she will say yes to any man who asks her for marriage. When she told me this I realized why I am the way I am mentally, I finally knew why I grew up feeling so low and disgusted about myself. The way I was raised wasn’t out of love, I was just a solution to her inability to fit into her society. It sucks to know that I wasn’t the result of two people in love, and now the family she was forced to create is full of issues.
Nah. I dont want to bring a child into this world. In my life experience. Family is not there for you through your struggles and pain. What is the point of creating one. I will never get it.
Family is the only thing that would support you through your struggles and pain. Maybe it's just your family in which members don't care about each other. It's normal that during evolution different individuals get different traits, and one traits are able to survive and pass their genes further, others are not, and you are from the second category. Selfishness is obviously a downgraded extinctive trait.
@@joshuaberdouk7478 some people care enough to project their stuff on to other people, but not enough to roll up their sleeves and offer any practical help to struggling mothers and families.
I don't think women have to explain. I think they want to explain hence the video. I'd love to see older women talk about this because all these women are young so they have a different perspective.
Many women “want” children because they want something to love and to feel loved by it.... so they don’t grow old and “die alone.” I think that’s pretty selfish 😂 If you’re lonely, get a cat or a dog and call it a day
Doing what you want and being happy is not selfish... it’s just following your path whatever way it leads. To call your wants and desires selfish is batshit crazy
Selfish people say things like “who’s going to care for you when you are older” “ you will die alone “ ect. Does it really matter once you are dead ? Your “legacy” will be lost in a short time and you are just dust
As a 30 year old woman who lives in Africa, I completely understand where these women come from. Here your own parents will blackmail you you into having children. They force both men and women. No matter what you achieve, if you don’t have kids., you are considered a failure.
Same here in Jamaica. I was bullied everyday at work for not wanting any and by family members. I was often told by child abusers who have multiple kids, that I am wicked.
@@tianshi2662 YES, us childfree woman are selfish. At least we can admit that and be happy we did not bow to societal pressure to breed. Plus, the kids don't suffer from being unwanted.
I never, ever wanted children from around the age of 5 when I was given a baby doll and I didn’t want it and my mom and grandmother asked “ don’t you want to be a mom? “ and I clearly said “NO” and I never changed my mind. My husband never wanted any either and I’m now 57 and I have zero regrets.
I wish the video started with someone saying either neutral "I just dont want" or that they dont like children. Because those are also valid reasons and should be okay to say in our society. I'm getting tired of seeing this "I like kids but..." argument.
One of the women did mention that they never felt the want to have kids. For me it the same, I just never thought about it and never felt that I wanted any, there was never a strong pull towards having kids, it barely crossed my mind
I agree, I'm 38 and married. I honestly think that having kids is for selfish reasons sometimes. But not having kids is a very important and responsible thing to do.
honestly, flip the script. tell people that wanting kids is selfish, because how ethical is it really to raise a child in this world? how ethical is it to even raise a child when the only motivation is "because people wanted me to"? how ethical is it to make your own child when so many go uncared for? lots of ammo to fight back with.
I don't take that nihilist view but I do think that having kids is just as selfish. Coming from someone is considering having kids, I see nothing wrong with being "selfish", as long as it is a responsible choice.
Read our entire series here ► www.theguardian.com/us-news/series/childfree
We want to hear from childfree women: share your experience ► guardiannewsandmedia.formstack.com/forms/being_childfree_in_the_us
What if their moms didn't have them lol?
Guardian make a part 2 of this series maybe like 30 years down the line and we'll see.
The Guardian this is not accurate as people are not honest and you just want to make it sound so ok and normal there’s a lot more going on in a woman’s mind that’s decided I don’t want kids. But comes home to several cats and teddy bears.
The more childfree people of all ages share their experiences, the more the myths surrounding the childfree lifestyle will dispel. There are those who don’t want to believe or hear anything a childfree person has to say, but for any who are curious, there is a vibrant community.
@@paulgibbons2320 yeah , and that s what all co v i d 19 is about!!!
Please pose this same question to men. Would love to see that b/c it's not a unique issue to women (maybe a few different nuances of course) but same endpoint...no kids. Thanks. If you already have, please post that video.
The world would be a better place if adults who don’t want children or feel like they would not be good parents, would just not have any.
True a lot of people do it out of being selfish. Lack of control or responsibility AND some actually do it because they look at kids as accessories.
People are not educated enough to even think of that
amen
Str8 fax
Yeah true
Let’s be real: if ppl were more honest about not wanting children, there would be a lot less neglected or abused kids in the world.
THIS THIS THIS !!!!!
And less population
if ppl would be more educated and actually careful about how to avoid pregnancy
True
I don’t fully understand the correlation.
Let's be real a lot of parents aren't really parents even though they have kids
THIS.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
April Chow-chee words of truth, right there
Touche!
TRUTH
I used to nanny full-time, 10 hours a day. That was the moment for me when I decided, I don't want kids. I really get along with kids so easily, but it's been so enlightening for me to see that these next (hopefully) 30 or 40 years of my life will be filled with work, hobbies, volunteering and family and friends. What a gift that is!
It's funny that this is even controversial.
It's just women oppressing each other and themselves edit: I hate that so many people liked this comment lol
its not women just wanna complain
It's controversial because child free women are just told they'll come around to it, change their minds, regret not having kids, etc. Several doctors also refuse to perform sterilization surgery for the same reasons. Women aren't complaining just to complain. They want their wishes to be taken seriously.
@@kkurova9345 It's old men. It's almost always old men getting into women's business trying to control everything.
I will not see your reply. I think you misunderstand my post. I'm talking about the people who make it controversial because they're appalled by the mere fact that a woman can choose not to have children.
That's
Fucking Hilarious
I don’t understand how people go on about how painful childbirth is and what a complete struggle and sacrifice raising children is but judge people for not wanting it.
@@jamesedwards366 you sound really happy yourself and not at all judgemental. It's probably all those kids you had.
James Gillings typically ‘Karens’ are stay at home mothers and housewives of a certain generation that feel so bitter about not having their own career because they spent most of their lives cleaning up after their kids that they take their issues out on strangers and act as a ‘Karen’ as a cry for attention. Having kids does not guarantee that you won’t be lonely- your kids may not be in your life if they choose so. Grow up.
Ellen W I think a lot of the people have trouble understanding that their opinions and feelings aren’t universal facts for everyone.
Yeah but you have never carried a child I’m guessing soooo you’ll never understand. It’s worth it.
James Gillings I agree.
Having children is a personal choice, and nobody’s business but yours.
This mindset is the main problem. Nobody seems to think from the perspective of the child, only themselves and how they are benefitted by having a baby.
@@red_spacecat the child doesn't exist yet so why does it matter?
@@red_spacecat Judging on how the world is, right now, how would it benefit a child to be born?
Jason Martin the problem that many people overlook is that a child isn’t there before conception. So before conception, only the parents are there to be benefitted. So fundamentally a child cannot benefit from being born, regardless of the state of the world.
There are consequences ...... I would agree with you if those consequences didn't affect me
As a guy who doesn't want children myself I support these women fully!
same
@@captainfalconmain6576square
Same bro. 8 billion people then why people are crazy to say they want 3 or 4 kids
Agree! I have never met a man who demanded children. LOL! Add to that, I have never known of any man who wants to raise another man’s child. These ladies are taking a BIG risk to have children. Look at all the single moms in this country! If the father of her child leaves, she decreases her desirability according to most men. That’s not my opinion…it’s fact.
Calling people who don't want children "selfish" is the most absurd thing of all. Bringing unwanted children into the world, that's what's truly selfish.
Heck, depending on the motivation, the act of bringing a child to the world *is* selfish.
how is it selfish
@@kiwi.1243 a child does not ask to be brought into the world, it is a decision made by the parents' based on a want. They *want* to pass on their genes, they *want* to raise a new human being, they *want* to conform to societal norms, etc. The child, of course, has no say in this decision.
Yeah, that's something I definitely agree wholeheartedly. I never wished to be born and yet here I am writing this comment. 😆
@@kaptenlemper very true. Not to mention the issues such as overpopulation, etc.
I'm a 44 year old man, I don't have kids nor have I ever had the desire to. These women have the right to make the same decision without being shamed. A video like this shouldn't even be necessary in the 21st century.
first thank you for your respect and recognizing this as a choice for all
Amen brother. It’s real. That’s why feminism is still needed today!!! Humanitarian and feminism are one and the same truly!!!
Well said! I once got told that having a baby was my duty to society...despite the fact there are too many people in the world.
Feed me cheese This! Plus we never asked to be born so we don’t owe anything to the society
Thank you so much for seeing things from a woman’s perspective and being brave enough to be vocal about it. Lots of men are too ignorant and cowardly to do that.
I think it’s pretty selfish to want to have kids as a retirement plan.
True and there’s no guarantee that they will be there for you when your old.
Very true
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾this
Or as your caregiver in your senior years. I’ve been asked sssoooo many times.... “well who’s going to take care is your when your old?”
I’m like- yeah that’s a terrible reason to have kids.
Save up for your senior care.... it’s selfish to expect your children to be your caregivers and do nothing to plan for your own care.
That's exactly what happened to me!
Im 27 years old and since I was 16 I decided that I did not want to be a mother and everyone tells me that I’m a self entitled brat and that I’m being selfish. Childbirth is very painful and it’s something that can cost you your life and that is what is truly selfish because you can’t force someone to practically put there lives at risk. I’m glad to see more and more men and women that agree and support others that want to live a child free life.
Vaccine is to 20th booster
As
Being maskless and unvaccinated is to catching co...
.. Wait what??? You tricked me!!!!
Nothing says selfless like demanding that others have unwanted children against their will to make the accuser feel better about their own choices!
@@gleelights9525 I'm trans. I want to nurse Justin Bieber's babies.
Who are you talking to? I’m a young mom and have only ever been called selfish 😂 no matter what you can’t win
Selfish is having children you know you can't take care of.
Don't think it's selfish - all that work, stress and worry
@@yingyang1008 Is irrelevant because people still constantly have children for selfish reasons.
@@cassandra9581 How is it selfish to want a family?
It's what the vast majority of humans want to do and is very hard work, you literally give your life to a other out of love
@@yingyang1008 I didn't say it was selfish to want a family... I said people still have children for selfish reasons, I didn't say everyone does.
exactlyyyyy
Why are people mad about some women not wanting to have children. The world is getting overpopulated anyways. Some people not wanting to have kids is not a crime.
YEAH
Explain to me how the world is overpopulated?
Even if the world wasn’t overpopulated though it’s still the woman’s choice and absolute madness that it needs to be justified
Fall7Standup8 Chosen The world is overpopulated relatively to the ressources that we have left. There are too many people for not enough food, water etc. Mainly because of the overconsumption in industrialized countries and overuse of natural ressources for profit.
Scientists predict that sooner or later, even in the richest parts of the world, there won’t be enough food and water for everybody. Some even say that the future generations will never know what it’s like eating some of the things we eat today like fish for example.
@@Darksecret_23 You're in this comment section, so you obviously have access to the internet. Go do your due diligence and look it up for your self.
To anyone reading this message: If you are not absolutely certain that you want to have kids...PLEASE DO NOT HAVE KIDS! Every child deserves to be wanted.
No Cap
Facts!!
Yes, Tony! I agree.
Yes
YOU cannot force peple to not have kids geez
I'm 41 and not a mother by choice. I've been called selfish many, many times. I've been told that my life would be pointless, that no one would take care of me when I'm old...like nursing homes are bursting with thankful sons and daughters 24/7. I realized that NOT having the desire was the #1 indicator. I'm proud if my choice, I honestly do not care what people tell me anymore. My happiness depends on something else.
41 childfree man here. All the best. We’re making the right choice for ourselves. 😎🍻
@@LucareonVee how much of a failure you gotta be to not be able to find a breeding partner, and then coping so hard in comments about it...
👏👏
I never wanted children,I'm in my 50's it's the best decision I have made for myself,No regrets..
@@GodsFavDrunkDriverIf breeding is the only purpose, then the lives of your children are worthless unless they have kids themselves. Does that sit well with you to admit that?
every child should have a parent, but not every parent should have a child
Yokubō amen 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I have 2 fur babies.
i think every child should have a parent but not every person should be a parent will be more suitable. Cause there are parents who no longer have a child
FACTS!!!
To be a parent means u have a child-
As a woman who doesn't want to have children ever, I'm so glad I ran into this video. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only woman to feel this way and suffer the pressure of conforming to the idea of procreation. Not enough people realize how damaging it is to put pressure on those that don't wanna have kids. That's how you create bad parents who will possibly resent their children for the rest of their lives. And the children do not deserve that at all.
as someone who has felt resent i’m scared of making someone else feel that way
You ran into it? Did it hurt? I hope your okay
Same. I really needed this
Same! Most of the comments were super supportive on here too which is nice.
@@trashnamedalana7524 Life is always going to be scary no matter what. Stick by your choices and forget about resentment, there is no way to avoid it sometimes and you are not responsible if they feel that way and don't need to sacrifice your happiness to avoid selfish resentment.
Having kids isn’t for everyone and that is 100% ok.
Right, even though I'm kind of in between on whether or not I want kids. At 21 years old, I'm already mostly in the position and decision of not wanting kids at all.
True. :)
Would you adopt a baby like Moses?
Plus it's not like the human race will go extinct anytime soon.
lolcano234 i think that anyone over the age of 18 is fully capable of making their own decisions:)
Interesting! I never met other women who felt like I do. I'm 71 now and never wanted kids and still no regrets.
Omgg its so cool to see someone older than me who doesn't have kids cause people always tell me "i'm too young to know that" or "i'll obviously change my mind when i'm older" which sucks hearing
@@ash.whothatGET OFF MY PROPERTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
63 no kids, no regrets
@@Hibiscus123 Kells and windmills and Shay Mccay dark wood cabinets above where there's oil and grease on the high school chemistry lab table leading to lots some complaints from classmates about that all in the different room across the hall you go in and sit down one day.
Next, trip to Andover for music competition in 2 days but then when you're on the bus and when it's a bit dark at six in the morning to go there, and hear the noise while going fast, it reminds you of compounds of the oil and orangish red grease from food
@@Hibiscus123 Would you consider leaving on a red cloth regular table lamp in the bedroom and a tubular vintage oval bulb desk lamp in the office, and seeing which type of bulb burns out first after a while, "doing an experiment" ?
Having no children is better than being a bad parent.
Have a child because you "want" one, not because you "can".
I agree.
But also make sure that you can support a child even when you want one :)
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
@@casstsj 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
would you rather be dead or have a bad parent?
When she said “It’s been important to find someone who is interested and cares about me for me and not what I can produce for him.” That’s a word!
I loved that !!! Just because we have place for caring a child in our bodies doesn't mean we are born to be incubators !
@Benghali In Platforms We are born to be so many things, from artists to scientists. I'm sorry but almost all mothers I know are misarable, on pills and some openly say they regret having children. We are not animals and civilization was build on us rejecting our biological "destiny".
Yeah. I had a boyfriend who wanted me to have his babies. I abandoned him because he was cheating me. He never loved me.
@Benghali In Platforms well, in a biological sense we born to reproduce the specie, but not at all because we have other kind of mental development compared with other animals. We are the major plague in the world, this place doesn't need more humans, the world needs to be repaired. And we aren't baby incubators, due to our mental development, a human has the capability to create and explore other kind of things. Well, being a millennial mentally is not bad, this generation is more conscientious about world.
@Benghali In Platforms I'll happily be a wine aunt then. Lol
I hate "but who is going to take care of you when you're old?". That's what's really selfish to me. Your children deserve to have a life of their own. What if they want to move to the other side of the world? There are other ways to prevent loneliness.
THIS
Right. Not to mention if they saved their money instead of having kids they don't have to worry about being taken care of when they're old.
@@Vivian-oq5wz Oh yes. I've seen it too.
Exactly 👏
My grandma is at her 80's we don't even take care of her she just lives
My mother to!d me that having kids prevented her from living her life. She told me when you have kids your life ends. Needless to say I've never had kids. I don't regret it and I appreciate my mom's truth.
Respect to your mom👍 I wish mine was like yours
What a terrible mom, she basically didnt want you in her life…. If she could stuff you back in, she would💀
@@fjordbear3050 She didn't want him but still loved him enough if she didn't want him to repeat her mistakes
She lied to you
@@VolkovVolkovich Is that what people call "love" these days?
I'm single, childfree, and happy. I cannot believe people shame women like me. Why not devote that energy to parents that abuse and neglect their children? They are more detrimental to society than ladies like us.
@James one of the women in the video literally just responded to your question.
You’re absolutely right.
@James l am 40 and l am still awating to change my mind ...
My mother gave me away at 5. She should have just aborted me -only terrible things happened after that
l3l3Cakes sorry you didn’t have a great experience. Sending you virtual hugs x
Most people shouldn’t have kids. Yet they do. Too many actually. That’s the biggest tragedy in the world.
The real tragedy is that our society makes children look like objects, we all have been kids once and having to see that an innocent creature is deemed as a tragedy is absolutely bad to say.
Keystone_XONE I think what the person is trying to say is that there I many people in the world that are having kids but don’t care to take the responsibility of having one, and then the kid ends up not having the proper care. It’s not the child itself that’s the tragedy, but’s it’s the suffering the kids has to go through when being taken care of by irresponsible people/parents that are having kids when they shouldn’t be that’s the tragedy
LaVeNdEr LoVeR thank you! Children are not the Problem, but people who procreate are.
i don't mind, kids are beautiful.
I love how we are discussing this on a deep level before I think people didnt think about it but now because of social media we can be honest
Having kids is not a life obligation, it's a personal choice, not everyone has the desire to be a parent. I sure know that my wife and I are happy with our lives without children. It's okay not to have children and there shouldn't be such a huge stigma to the subject.
Sometimes women or girls don't have a choice. . sadly. .
@Daniel Rumbacher then go make 5 kids and have fun with your new mega hectic life
Daniel Rumbacher then go have 8 and deal with 8 wardrobes, 8+ mouths to feed, 8 mfs to get ready for school, 8 mf cars, 8 mf college tuitions like bye😂😂
True I agree.. But does your wife really feel that way? I know when I was younger I didn't want children but the moment I got with my husband I knew I wanted children with him.
@@memyselfandimom Because you want children, they don't. Children are not the most important part of someone's relationship. One can have an amazing and fulfilling relationship without a need for kids. Having children drains you mentally, physically and financially. It is a decision you consciously make, you don't rush to it. And some people don't think that is important and that is totally okay.
They are smart for not having kids.
Which lightbulb burns out first?
@@brownbrownbrown2938 What do you mean?
In this economy? Yeah that checks out
The chemicals in the chemistry lab
A woman shouldn’t have to explain why she doesn’t want to have children. Your body. Your choice. Your life. Your path.
I'm more and more respectful of that choice now, especially if a primary driver for people is the improvement of the current state of the world.
Yea let's all have fun in this beautiful western civilization. Children? Who needs that problems!
F*** yeah! I agree.
Soooooo it's a selfish decision...?
I really wish it would be that easy...It would be if you would live in a jungle or a desert , but unfortunately we live in a judgemental society.
Why do so many people take offense to childlessness? It doesn't hurt anyone.
Misery loves company. 🤷♂️
@Frank T , read the comments.
They feel like it's a personal attack on their choice to have kids, even though child free people don't care.
Yes it does, your legacy go's to the shiter.
@@gta4haterhq , legacy means nothing
People forget that their children are actual humans that will grow up into a completely unique individual, and not just decorative pieces.
Yeah, most people see kids as babies, and then complain when they discover that their children are not an extension of themselves and can’t govern their life .OH, and the best , they shame people that don’t want kids for not choosing the same ..it is a validation of choices I think
A lot of people unfortunately want a project, protégé, mini-me. but it just doesnt go that way.
Exactly they're raising another person to compete in the rat race , defo ending my blood line , might adopt cause I believe kids in orphanages want a family or a proper house
@@lotuswolf1518 Same, my bloodline is a failure anyway.
Yeah. They’re not a mini you. They’re different people.
Chosing to not have kids is so far from being selfish. For me i feel the world is over populated and there are so many children in care who need a family. I dont want to birth my own child but would love to adopt, and have known that since a teenager.
Yes, I absolutely feel the same way! Too many are worried about their bloodline only when there’s too many in the system without a family. adoption needs more promotion..
Just because you have a child DOES NOT MEAN you automatically become an amazing put-together person.
Say it louder for the people in the back. Some people just should not have kids.
I guess people automatically forget that there are orphans and children in foster care.
They just conveniently forget about abusive parents or children growing up in poverty.
The wilful ignorance is a bit disgusting, quite frankly.
TRUE. Lots of irresponsible parents out there
Children are destructive forces of chaos that makes life harder... but I still want one.
My hubby wants kids (we are 25 and 27) but as much as I love him, he is not ready. We fight over splitting bills or that he has a lot of savings and I have not and I think he does not see how a baby is very expensive and involves a lot of financial decisions. I also feel like I am not ready for kids at all. I want to travel the world and a child would ruin my plans. Covid made it even worse as I have a bucket list I want to do before even considering kids and I already am way behind and now travelling has been impossible for almost a year and it does not get better.
I am 46. No kids. Like kids but not for me full time. Will never regret this decision. Ever.
You go girl, I respect that
Me too I'm 48 no kids I'm v pleased I never had one
Sammy d that was really rude and unnecessary for you say hun
@@sammyd3577 If you cannot communicate without throwing insults and using mean words, you're a bully.
@@sammyd3577 you don't have a wife, let alone a girlfriend, do you ?
I don’t want children because I’m not able to take care of my own mentality, and I don’t want to risk breaking my own child’s mentality.
You're life!
T Martin thank you!
This comment
👍👍👍
TF is dat name doh dag
*”You don’t regret not doing what you don’t want to do”* 👏
Would you consider leaving on 2 tables lamps with 2 different types of bulbs and seeing which lamp burns out first, how long it takes for each one, and why, a type of science experiment? ??
@@hello-sz7hp be gone kid.
@@MarxMuruess are ess
Just because one can have children doesn't mean that one should. Not everyone is fit to be a parent.
When facing an ageing population this message is irresponsible
@@PointNemo9 The Earth is overpopulated. Bringing more children into the world is what's irresponsible.
Yeah, ask those young women when they are in their 60s. You may hear very different story.
@@jasonvolta3657 They are generally still very happy with their decision. Childfree isn't that new of a concept. There are women in their 60s and older who are perfectly happy with their choice. You don't need to have children to be happy.
@@PointNemo9 its irresponsible to bring children into world just so they could lower the median age of population.
Having a kid to not be lonely is probably the worst decision ever.
Yeah like go and make some friends, lol. There is 0 guarantee that kid will even like you, let alone be there and support you in old age.
@@mrjoe9545 selfish like few other things and nobody guarantees you the kid will look after you.
No way!
Having a child to save a marriage is even worse
THIS IS A WHOLE TOPIC THAT NEEDS TO BE DISCUSSED!!!!!!
People: "NEVER HAVE KIDS"
Me: "oh I won't"
People: "I mean you might change your mind..."
Me: ????
Oml my mom says the exact same thing drives me crazy
My mom has 4 kids and none of us want kids just cause they made us feel like a burden all our lives
Me. Daily.
I’ve actually had this said to me before 🤦🏽♀️
Yep ... I am like really .I say to be prepared to a have kid that is completely opposite what you want out a kid.
I told this guy I’m dating I don’t want kids, I don’t want to go through childbirth, he said “it’s the pain that makes it beautiful” sir how would you know?
I mean, I’m a man who also wouldn’t know, but… talk about delusional!! 🙄
I'm 61, never had kids and have zero regrets.
You’re a smart lady, I bet you’re so much happier. I’m following your footsteps and I’m 20!
@@shridhark6819 what? 😐
@@asheru9254 I'm 37. Married 19 years. One cat. Two dogs. No kids.
Since you're wanting to compare animals here. I seen a kid take a dump on the living room floor.
Having kids and animals is messy. There's no difference. Animals are easier to care for than a human.
@Ooki Cooki Ok buddy.
Why do you look like someone I know
PSA: YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT A RETIREMENT PLAN
Yes they are, if a child cost 500k each then it’s going to be in my investments portfolio or it’s a failure of a investment
@Oat Meal you won't get that love, affection , unconditional instincts etc
@saket adarsh you get to sleep, you're not at risk of having any complications/don't have to deal with the problems of being pregnant, you have more money, you will have more time for your friends and/or partner who will also give you love, you don't have to worry about being a bad parent and raising/teaching the kid, it won't be loud all the time, ...
Children literally pay into the older generation's social security
@@mo.ka.9661 And that shouldn't be your only reason to have a child, they're humans.
Does anyone else get the impression that some of the women who criticize and question others for not having children are actually doing so because they felt pressured into it, and now they feel bitter seeing a woman living a full and happy life without children?
YES! YES! YES! YES!
You’re absolutely correct!
There are women who hate seeing another woman progress in life because she didn’t have that opportunity to be her best in life so these type of women go around sabotaging and insulting other women whose life is different than hers.
It’s internal misogyny.
This!!!
Or even women who don’t get married, there’s women with manchildren who make fun of single women
@@God.sDaughter The mad ramblings of a scared feminist.
1000000% YES
The suffering and the stress of living in this world made me make this decision my generation ends with me.
You are wiser than most.
Now is the best most comfortable time in human History believe it or not, stress of living lol get real, life will always have stress and discomfort
@@LutherusPXCsand meaningless
My reason also
My parents are teachers and SO many kids are neglected by their parents. Putting them in every club possible, bed as soon as they get home, expecting teachers to fulfil more and more of the parental role - spending as little time with them as possible. You wonder why they had children it’s very sad. Often, it is to secure a wallet but I don’t think you should have kids if you aren’t committed to loving and raising them!
I taught for ten years and this is soooo true 😤 bless your parents hard work
Absolutely agree 💯
Only white people do that lol.
Wdym “secure a wallet”?
Windflower Rainstorm Thank you ❤️
I just wish we didn’t have to justify our decision over and over even to complete strangers
Natasel wow. People have no problem asking straight out “do you have kids”, ‘why not”. Because it’s none of their business to ask why not.
Ugh...tell me about it.
Also, I have noticed women that have kids are taken more seriously in a social gathering, their opinions are respected more, even if they are way younger n inexperienced.
You literally don’t. ‘Cause I don’t anymore. I just leave people hanging. 🤣
adoption should be encouraged from different races, this way racism and world population crisis both will be checked.
Pauline Malone you don’t 🤷🏼♀️that’s a choice too!
As a person whose mom told me many times how much she regretted having me, I'd say if you're not ready to accept your child's imperfections... Don't have kids.
I just would rather not give up so much of my life just to force another human into this world for no reason.
Sending you love💗
I’m happy you are here, though, thank you for sharing this. ❤️ wishing you nothing but the best my friend
Oh my dear, I'm really sorry for this! ♥️
That's nasty. I hope you find your happiness
There were hundreds of years when "non-behaving", authentic, beautiful, smart and individualistic women would be burned alive. Since then the mindset of most people hasn't changed much. They would love to see us childfree women burn again because they themselves never had the guts to stick to their own believes and principals and burst out of anger and jealousy.
Would you consider leaving on a red lamp in the bedroom and an oval light in the office and seeing which burns out first after a longtime, doing an experiment?
@@redredred8408 I have seen you and your alt accounts do this for the past year. Why do you spend your time 24/7 just trying to be wise/funny and not do something else?
Please take your meds .
Some women who have kids, shouldn't have.
A lot of people in these comments judge and say women who are child free will be "miserable and bitter"... Uhmm children arent magic. Ive seeb a lot of mothers being "miserable and bitter" too.
That part☝🏿
Yup some ppl think having a child is everything n den when you do its like i ruined my life.. some moms go tru post partum n hormonal issues n guess what kids dont care if ur having a mental breakdown sometimes a kid is not the best
Some people find having kids to be intensely magical. Do what's right for you.
@@richthepup kids not being magical is not my point though but sure
Heck yes every dang mom I meet is always complaining about their kids (and husbands) and its like they're so unhappy all the time. I never want that to be me!
Society accepts the religious reasons why nuns are celibate. Why we shouldn't accept logical and responsible reasons of these women not to have kids
Exactly, you took the words out of my mouth.
Nope nuns are crazy
I jus taya
Another pretty face and genetic intelligence wiped out of human race. 👍
@@mo.ka.9661 nope, crazy people are crazy.
I'm 62...I've heard it all. You're selfish, you'll die alone, what about your legacy? I opted for serving my country in the military rather than motherhood. My legacy? Their freedom... that is my legacy as a veteran. Try calling a veteran selfish. I will spend my declining years alone in a nursing home with all the moms out there whose kids are too busy to visit.
I have a great respect for anyone who puts on the uniform with pride and honor for their country.
"My legacy? Their freedom... that is my legacy as a veteran. Try calling a veteran selfish"
Females are out of harms way.
"I opted for serving my country in the military rather than motherhood."
You would have been more useful as a mother of 2+ children. Without an adequate birthrate, there is nothing to protect
@@GK-op4oc are you like actually fcking slow?
@@GK-op4oc
With over 8 billion people on the planet, there won’t be any life at all. Not having children at this time is more important.
I don’t want kids. Never did and never will. People don’t like that as a woman i don’t want to reproduce but for some reason, no one questions men for not wanting kids. The double standard is disgusting
Or they undermine women's choices by saying things like "oh you will someday" "oh you just haven't met the right guy yet" - listen Karen I don't want kids!!
Agreed. My wife and I decided against children years ago, and she has gotten way more grief about it than I have. Not fair.
Plenty of people also give the stink eye to men for not wanting kids. I agree that there's more pressure on women to have kids.
@@rushrush1209 Yes.
@wattlesong Everyone is not like that
Kudos to these ladies. There’s too many women who have kids just to conform.
@Eugene Fisher exactly and am sure these lady's have there reasons
@Eugene Fisher Or single fathers taking care of the mothers kid cause she left ..
Where are such women? America's birthrates are pretty awful. So I don't know if there are a lot of women having children.
I agree. There are too many women who have kids for selfish reasons, like wanting to pass on their genes or family name.
@@VinnyLam How is that selfish? It's better than letting your family history die out.
I’m 55 with no kids. I took this decision when I was 14 and I have no regrets. I adore children but I never wanted my own.
I am a 40 year old man. I guess I just like my freedom to do what I want outside of work too much and the financial stress would be too much to deal with.
I decided not to have kids when I turned 23 and pandemic started , I had to compete and struggle to make ends meet also I still live with my parents alot of people in India do ,I have always wanted to adopt a kid
I’m 26. I didn’t want kids since i was 13
I do not want to have children, the world is not easy and everything indicates that it will only get worse. I don't want to put a child in the world to suffer.
@@juanpedro4083 exactly , I wouldn't do that either
Child free women are the most mature women out there.
You are the most dancing zookinis with mustaches out there
Poooolar.. EEEXPRESSSSS..
@@gleelights9525grow up
The only people who judge women for not having children are people who most likely regret having children haha. Don’t project onto me. I love not having kids right now. Saves a lot of money and I’m young. Enjoying my youth not being burden down with kids.
so true.
Truth!👀🙌
i’m 32 and couldn’t agree more! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Pez in my 20s. Twenties are for you to build your empire, discover yourself, enjoy your time. Etc. not a time for children. Just my opinion. Why waste young years on kids.
I bet you’re right !
My mom keeps telling me that no man will ever want me because i dont want kids. What makes you think I would want a man that wants kids?
Don’t listen to her. You’ll get a loving caring man and you two will live happily ever after.
Besides, there's alot of men who don't want kids,so doesn't sound to smart of her,in my opinion.
Lol women with kids aren’t very logical
My mum said exactly the same! She was so wrong! My gorgeous fiancee is 15 years younger and we totally adore each other.
Lol...exactly! 🙋♀️🙂🇬🇧
I was recently judged by a co-worker for getting Easter Sunday off from work. She went around to everyone explaining how I don’t deserve the day off because I “don’t have kids or a family” this is the type of thinking that has to stop.
She's miserable, lol.
@@nikhilnewse3318 people who don’t have kids aren’t alone and miserable. They often have other family and friends in there life and people who are child free need days off too you know. You don’t know what’s happening in there life.
@@nikhilnewse3318 no there not maybe some are but not everyone. I never said that they deserve more paid leaves but they do deserve paid leave in general. They might have something important to deal with, childfree/childless people have problems too you know.
depnds if you having the day off prevented show one with kids from having the day off or not.
@@nikhilnewse3318 the poster is talking about being judged by another coworker for having a day off NOT for having more days off than the coworker, so it has nothing to do with what you’re talking about. Your comment comes across as degrading to the poster and in defense of the coworkers gossiping/bad-mouthing.
The fact that some men feel so enraged by women who choose themselves is pathetic
They just want control over us. Men still barely help out with the kids if they don’t completely abandon thier family completely and then try to shame women who refuse to make the sacrifices they never make either.
@@Orb-w3averIt’s not “helping out with the kids” it’s doing his part as a father, helping implies it’s not something he has to do.
Hey come on I'm a man and I don't want kids either, I respect and support all women who choose not to have kids, and both men and women shouldn't be pressured into having kids by their partners.
There are PLENTY of men saying it too.@@Prometheus7272
@@Orb-w3averoh brother
I was just talking to a friend yesterday and she started telling me that she was angry at her mom for not having telling her the reality about having kids, that she only told her a fantasy and never told her all the pains and horrors that happen to the body, mental health, financially etc... I felt sorry for her... So, women! Please stop sugar-coating maternity please.
I agree, it is often romanticized as if it was a fairytale, but in reality is devastating for some women and often a cause for splits in marriages 😒
Her mom told her a fantasy? Like the stork story? How old is your friend? in her teens?
this generation is raised non pain, only gain.
Cannot understand that life is a struggle, nature is struggle, nothing is offered, all must be conquered.
Having a baby does alter a woman's body (and mind) and there may be negative side effects like post partum depression. Andrea Yates (the mother of her 5 drown children) is a prime example of what can go terribly wrong.
@@kansasthunderman1
exactly thank you I’ve always been told by my mother that I am a mistake that I ruined her
Im 34 and don’t want kids and don’t even want to date people with children. So my dating profiles say “I don’t want kids and I’m sorry but I don’t want yours either”
You're a smart woman.
Why do single fathers date
Fact's
I have the same thing on my profile as well. Do you find you still have those with children still contacting you? That's ALL I get. I put it right at the beginning of my profile and I still get fathers contacting me.
@@solointheburbs ok, I thought I was the only woman who did this. And YES, I get single fathers who contact me all the time. I'm like, "why would you even consider someone who expressly stated that she doesn't want to date someone with kids?" I totally don't get it, but maybe more videos like this will help people better understand that if we don't have kids, we don't want yours
Regret of having kids would be way worse than regret of not having kids.
This. All over.
You actually wouldn't know that because its impossible to experience both in one lifetime
NamesIWantAreInvalid they are not saying it because of the actual feeling, they are referring to the fact that regretting having children actually affects your child, in ways that can be very damaging. if you regret not having children, it would be a terrible feeling but it wouldn’t affect another human being for the rest of their lives. plus, if you change your mind about kids, you could always adopt, but if you children you can never undo that.
NamesIWantAreInvalid yeah you could regret not having kids at a certain point and then eventually have kids and regret it
Exactly 👌🏽
It’s a personal choice. People have to stop criticizing each other.
In terms of regret, I feel the regret of not having a child is far less damaging than the regret of having a child.
That is so well put!!!
100%!
You may feel like how your life would be like if you did have kids, but the ultimate outcome is so much better.
Facts 💯
Deffo great perspective and never saw it like that
100%
I do not want kids either. I get tired of hearing “oh youll change your mind”. No one says that to people who want children...
Sarah Franz they probably say that because your parents want grand babies😊 And the reason ppl don’t say “you’ll change your mind” to kids who what babies is because that’s the norm. Ppl grow up and eventually have kids🤷🏾♂️
Sarah Franz I’m with you! I just hope that since you know this, you’re taking responsibility to NOT get pregnant? That’s a choice too
Because it's a biological prerogative to reproduce
@@stardustnation2480 Im pretty sure she doesn't have to have kids if she doesn't want to . Imagine being raise by a mother that never wanted you but was forced to have you because of pressure .
@@stardustnation2480 it's more of a choice.
Having children should be seen more as an opt-in rather than an opt-out
Well said!
YES.
I like that idea. I've never thought if it that way.
I agree
Best thing I had was finding someone who also didn't want kids, I hope to find that again.
“She’s too young, she can’t possibly know her mind” I hate when I hear this.
But she’s not too old to keep a kid
Age doesn't matter when it comes to decisional maturity, you see alot of older people making bad decisions
26 y/o woman doesn’t want kids: “Oh you’re still young, you’ll change your mind!”
16 y/o gets pregnant: “Oh my gosh isn’t she so mature!”
🙄
They think we’re too young to decide to not have kids, but old enough to have and care for kids.
“You’ll regret it one day.” I haven’t , because the reasons stood throughout time, and I knew they would.
Some of the most abusive child hating people have kids.
Chris Watts.. rest in peace to the kids and their mother..
My mom said the most toxic words to us, but appear nice in front of her friends.. She wonders why all her children has mental health issues.
@@iamtheruraljuror9257 Just tell her friends, infront of her, what a bad mother she is. She'll probably stop being two faced then.
All those poor kids 😭
Yuuupp, my mom had 8
People assume that women dont want children because they are selfish, self interested, afraid of childbirth or dont want to damage their bodies. The truth is some women have dreams that dont include childbirth and that doesnt make her a bad person. Also not wanting biological children doesnt mean you dont want children at all. Everybody is different.
Wanting children seems pretty selfish, really
I totally agree, my desire is to adopt children instead of giving birth yet my parents see that as bad somehow?
I've never wanted kids but got a stepdaughter and have loved being her stepmom. She is now 17. I've nannied for years and LOVE children. I just have never felt that urge or calling to have my own. Ive heard other women talk about that feeling and I've just never had it. I have a lot of pressure on me from everyone (not my husband thank goodness) but I'm sure in 5 or so years people will back off when its not a choice for me anymore.
Or we just hate kids 😂
Honestly, every one of those reasons is valid. No one owes the world a child. If a woman doesn't want one, she doesn't want one 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
I'm a dude. This push to get pregnant freaked me out. Read into that what you want. I just can't believe that's a casual conversation. That sounds so violating.
Agreed 😂
The people who’d better educate children prefere to have cats and dogs, while those who can’t even take care of plants are having children...
Smart people don't have nearly as many children as dumb people. Sounds like more of a smart people problem. If you really cared that much, maybe you would've had kids.
I'm sorry but that's none of their business. They shouldn't feel forced to have kids just because they'd be great parents.
It’s “the crazies” running the insane asylum.
You nailed it 👏🏽
Never underestimate less educated women for being mothers. Sometimes they are smarter, tough fighters and don't forget there are succesful person who raised by mothers who never enter school buildings.
I don’t want kids, they’re expensive and too much responsibility. Parenting is the toughest job, and I don’t think I could handle it.
It is your choice!! . Dont let the society judge you !!
This is my reasoning too.
I've been single for almost 5 years because I don't want kids and I don't want to date a woman that has children. So basically my options are extremely limited since 90% of women have/want kids. 😩
Fair enough but why was trying to toughen up not the choice you made? It's very much true that life's meaning is found in voluntary adoption of responsibility.
@@S_M_456-c8n society keeps you accountable. Without the boundaries society sets, we'd be lost. That's not to say society is perfect.
Im 43 and have never wanted children. The pressure, hate and stupidity I faced in my 20s and 30s is fast becoming envy. I have a very happy stress free life without kids. I have no regrets. Happily married for 20 years, neither of us ever wanted kids and are perfectly happy. I am not a freak. We are not freaks. (And yes i have been called that) enjoy your kids and save your judgement. I’m happy
@@chooseaname30 Please stop. Judgement is judgement, not an evolutionary tool. Also please back up your claim that ''Most women realise this after a while & the regret hits like a freight truck''.
chooseaname30 There's seven billion people on this planet. Childfree people will not cause our species to go extinct.
with you 1000000%. I hope to one day find a partner that is on the same page.
@@chooseaname30 check reddit and Facebook for all the "I regret having kids" groups.
Isn’t it so messed up that they persecute you for not having kids then turn around and want to be you when they are stressed?? 😂
Childfree today, childfree tomorrow, childfree forever ✊🏻 dont let kids ruin your freedom gals.
I say the same to men. A lot of us are childfree too. 😎🍻
@Asimpnamednutsack
Still having trouble with “your” and “you’re?” Keep at it, honey. 😋
@Asimpnamednutsack
Better. Now tell us how that makes any difference. 😘
how shallow and patheric
@@AliciaGonzalez-pk3mw How is that toxic?
"What are you gonna do when you're old and alone?"
"Whatever I want! _That's_ what I'll do!"
😂
🙁🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
She means no one will be there to take care of you.
@@neiya8862 Well, that's a valid point too I suppose. But that reason in itself sounds kind of selfish, doesn't it?
Why does everyone assume we'll be alone when we're old? Quite a few of my female friends don't want kids, so we'll just party together. I'm 19 and don't have kids, am I alone? No, I have my friends, I have my family, other people may have a significant other, children aren't the only people that count as not being alone.
Amen! Just like now! 😀
It's very strange that people will praise women who have loads of kids and only feed them plain toast but condemn these women who have not done anything wrong.
Ik what you are trying to say but it's not poor people faults that they can't feed their children. The market can't satisfied the demand for jobs needed. Much less for quality job that let you have a decent standard of living (livable wage).
You can have people working 40 hrs a week and just barely making ends meet.
👏🏽
@@jirafita123ify but why still have kids then if you know that youre poor? statistically poor people are always having babies more than rich people or middle class people sooo why??? like i genuinely wanna know. like why should i feel bad for my 23 year old ex friend who chose to have a baby while she was living in a tent? smh
@@jirafita123ify like i totally get how liveable wage is a huge issue but i just feel like, why keep having kids if you can barely get by yourself?
@@littleangel8344 EXACTLY. It's obvious that the less educated ones aka. poor people are having more kids out of ignorance.
With times today and the cost of living.. having kids is like a luxury. My husband and i simply have agreed that we can not afford a kid, so we decided not too. we have no regrets and happy.
I think this is way more true than people care to admit ❤
Enjoy each other!:)
@Me Dna Homophobic comment
And anyday would we rather be a member of LGBTQ than to raise a child with hunger, no new clothes, no money for education and hobbies or vacation.
Some people actually think before they bring a new life into this world.
@@HH-bz6me asking if you are a homosexual is being homophobic ? i wish i was so 💖 privileged 💖 that the things i could be offended over are LITERAL questions ... girl 💀
I wish the average person had this much foresight. 🖤
Having kids just costs way too much money, the end.
@Patrick Greatest and Best of best For both married and single parents kids cost way too much money too.
Agreed
Normally you end up getting the " you're just bad a managing money " line from people.
Not all of it. But definitely a big factor.
Money, time, health…
I just politely reply with “oh I don’t talk about that” and move on to another subject. Don’t even leave it open for discussion.
I wish that was always possible 🥺
Say "If you really think I would've wanted your input, I would've asked, so please stop, change the subject, or don't speak to me"
I need to remember that line for next time, thank you!
100%!!! people should mind their business - they don’t have a clue what’s going on in other people’s lives or minds
Yes this is what should be done! I learned my lesson, I used to openly discuss my life with people (not friends, I'm talking about like coworkers) and let's just say the conversation never made me feel better afterwards. They would critique me on everything (especially me leaving religion which shouldn't even be discuss at work) so from now on when anyone asks me anything personal I've been saying "I rather not talk about this." And I immediately change the subject
This was powerful. I'm glad they spoke out. Not everyone wants kids.
DeSean Blackwell oh absolutely I’m a 27 year old male and I love kids but for the past 4 years I have made a decision not to have children
Yeah, I am 35, I was struggling so many years thinking I wanted kids. When I realized that I was struggling, because I really don't want kids, I finally felt free when I could tell myself: I don't have to have kids.
Marriage too!
Cats cats cats cats cats cats cats cats
g cats
"You will regret it." - I'd rather regret NOT having kids than regret having kids. In the first scenario I am the one suffering. But in the latter there are two people who suffer - me and most importantly the INNOCENT child, who was born out of pressure from the society.
Of course there is a possibility I will change my mind. But why is my opinion about not having kids dismissed so easily? When people ask me why I don't want kids I will answer truthfully with thought. But when ask why they want to have kids, a lot of times people don't even know. That is disturbing to me. You should KNOW why you want to bring a little human being to this world.
you've summed it up so perfectly.
Spot on 👌🏾
You’re so right. My mom married because of the pressure she was under (she lost her father before her time of marriage and no one wanted to marry her). She was basically looking for a marriage status more than love and she had the mindset that she will say yes to any man who asks her for marriage. When she told me this I realized why I am the way I am mentally, I finally knew why I grew up feeling so low and disgusted about myself. The way I was raised wasn’t out of love, I was just a solution to her inability to fit into her society. It sucks to know that I wasn’t the result of two people in love, and now the family she was forced to create is full of issues.
Exactly. Well said. 👍👍👍
Well put!
Nah. I dont want to bring a child into this world. In my life experience. Family is not there for you through your struggles and pain. What is the point of creating one.
I will never get it.
danny reflection on the ceiling
Family is the only thing that would support you through your struggles and pain. Maybe it's just your family in which members don't care about each other. It's normal that during evolution different individuals get different traits, and one traits are able to survive and pass their genes further, others are not, and you are from the second category. Selfishness is obviously a downgraded extinctive trait.
Why is this an issue that someone doesn’t want children? Seriously don’t understand... 🤷♀️
some people just want to pollute the world with overpopulation I guess
Is it that rare? I don't get it, why does anyone care?
People love making a problem where there’s not.
People get mad because you're not miserable and have free time
@@joshuaberdouk7478 some people care enough to project their stuff on to other people, but not enough to roll up their sleeves and offer any practical help to struggling mothers and families.
Wanting a kid because you want somebody to take care of you when you're old, is SELFISH
Ironically when children are adults they don’t even visit their parents in nursing homes 🥴
@@Pink_pr1ncess yeah and when they pass the siblings fight over money 😂.
Like anyone actually does that.
@@David-qk7lc 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😆
... and it's also presumptuous.
I'm a guy and I don't want kids either. Nothing wrong with these women's choice at all.
Get a dog instead.
thank you, john wick, for your wisdom
Your lifestyle wouldn’t allow it. Smart decision.
When you are 75 and lie on that ICU bed, you will desperately need some children, physically and emotionally.
@@davidzhai01 Having kids doesn't mean they'll be there when you're at death's door.
Being childfree is best decision i ever made.
3.0555555555555555555555555555555
It is 2020 and people actually have to explain their position of not wanting kids? That’s a shame.
True. Its already quite obvious there has been an explosion of narcissism in past 3 decades
I don't think women have to explain. I think they want to explain hence the video. I'd love to see older women talk about this because all these women are young so they have a different perspective.
Well there still many countries in world ,where girls are not exposed to having a choice, so this video is a must.
Star Lah I hope so because it saddens me women have to explain the choices they make that have absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.
apparently not "people", only women...
Shouldn't be a big deal. Some women just don't want to have kids. Other women should respect that.
Exactly!
Everyone should respect that.
A: I don’t want kids.
B: That’s selfish.
A: Well, why do you want kids?
B: Because I want kids.
Anybody sees what’s happening here?
Exactly! 🙌
It seriously doesn't make any sense. How is it selfish to live without someone that does not exist. lol
Many women “want” children because they want something to love and to feel loved by it.... so they don’t grow old and “die alone.” I think that’s pretty selfish 😂 If you’re lonely, get a cat or a dog and call it a day
Thisssssss
Doing what you want and being happy is not selfish... it’s just following your path whatever way it leads. To call your wants and desires selfish is batshit crazy
Selfish people say things like “who’s going to care for you when you are older” “ you will die alone “ ect. Does it really matter once you are dead ? Your “legacy” will be lost in a short time and you are just dust
Just because I have an uterus don't mean I have to reproduce. A lot of people who have kids end up alone 🙄🤷🏼♀
Yeah, I think for now it’s completely ok, since we’re overpopulated and there are kids in adoption centers.
Definitely not having kids. Not in this world.
💯 Just like how everyone has a brain but not everyone uses theirs 🙄
As a 30 year old woman who lives in Africa, I completely understand where these women come from. Here your own parents will blackmail you you into having children. They force both men and women. No matter what you achieve, if you don’t have kids., you are considered a failure.
That's insane. Coercion culture has to stop.
Rishi
It’s not a competition on who has it worse. She didnt mention anywhere else in the world, just the struggle in where she lives.
Same here in Jamaica. I was bullied everyday at work for not wanting any and by family members. I was often told by child abusers who have multiple kids, that I am wicked.
Do whatever you want hun I know it hurts what they say but leave the way you want
Happy " failure" here... I can take occasional naps and don't have to worry about anyone else. Also TOO BROKE!!!
I like my money, complete freedom, sleep and stress free life
So you are selfish
@@tianshi2662 Yes lol
@@tianshi2662 It's more selfish if you have kids for the wrong reasons.
@@tianshi2662 What does being selfish meant to you?
@@tianshi2662 YES, us childfree woman are selfish. At least we can admit that and be happy we did not bow to societal pressure to breed. Plus, the kids don't suffer from being unwanted.
I never, ever wanted children from around the age of 5 when I was given a baby doll and I didn’t want it and my mom and grandmother asked “ don’t you want to be a mom? “ and I clearly said “NO” and I never changed my mind. My husband never wanted any either and I’m now 57 and I have zero regrets.
I wish the video started with someone saying either neutral "I just dont want" or that they dont like children. Because those are also valid reasons and should be okay to say in our society. I'm getting tired of seeing this "I like kids but..." argument.
You're right!
Most childfree people do like children thou, most who dont like kid are parents lol.
Agreed. I personally don't like kids. Never have. And I openly admit that when somebody asks me why don't I have kids.
One of the women did mention that they never felt the want to have kids. For me it the same, I just never thought about it and never felt that I wanted any, there was never a strong pull towards having kids, it barely crossed my mind
EXACTLY!!!
Why is this even a controversial topic? If a woman doesn't want to have kids, it's none of your business so why do you care?
I know right.
I agree! Who cares?!!
It’s even more frustrating when every person says ‘you’ll change your mind’. That’s why it’s a topic. Because people can’t accept it
Yeah! It´s strange that it is still a topic worth discussing!
It IS our business. Are we just going to pretend that this doesn't have socio-economic effects?
Selfish? By not wanting to bring kids into this hellhole of a world?
I agree, I'm 38 and married. I honestly think that having kids is for selfish reasons sometimes. But not having kids is a very important and responsible thing to do.
honestly, flip the script. tell people that wanting kids is selfish, because how ethical is it really to raise a child in this world? how ethical is it to even raise a child when the only motivation is "because people wanted me to"? how ethical is it to make your own child when so many go uncared for? lots of ammo to fight back with.
I don't take that nihilist view but I do think that having kids is just as selfish. Coming from someone is considering having kids, I see nothing wrong with being "selfish", as long as it is a responsible choice.
Exactly..it is empathetic actually
Yes