How Society Brainwashes Young Women - Jordan Peterson
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- Опубликовано: 7 фев 2025
- Watch the full episode here - • Jordan Peterson - Take...
Dr Jordan B. Peterson reacts to 50% of women being childless by 30. ONS has recently released data saying that 50.1% of women haven’t had children by age 30. Why does Jordan Peterson think that women are having fewer and fewer children? Why are women having children later in life? Does Jordan Peterson think that population collapse is imminent?
#jordanpeterson #birthrate #dating
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@@mosesking2923 What a terrible person
I was childless at age 58, when my partner of 20 years suggested children. I worked and was fine not having kids. He was age 60 and organized the birth of twins by egg donor/carrier. So, I raised my 13 year olds from birth at a late age, experiencing both states of womanhood in my lifetime. I would say childless women may be happier, have time for opportunities for self-expression, and lead more interesting lives. But, I deeply love my children and cannot deny that the experience is profound, my understanding of life broadened, and am a less selfish person as a result.
@@gracielchiu Sounds Ace, older parents have a richer comprehension of the pitfalls their children can face, which has to be benificial
You tease you 😂
@@Josh-tf9cr I understand his point, however I don’t think Christ himself would hope for tragedy in hopes of growth. The issue is “hoping” for bad things to happen. Obviously pain and suffering allow for growth but I personally think it’s better to hope they recover instead of hoping they deal with consequences.
I was raised by a narcissistic woman and I find that I meet too many narcissistic women. I'm great believer that "All children deserve parents, but not all parents deserve children." My greatest fear is to be trapped in loveless marriage and the children are the collateral damage.
That doesn't excuse ending your own bloodline like a dumbfuck.
@@Slavkleos
Bloodlines don’t matter. 😋
Same goes for women.
❤️
agreed! it`s awful and difficult to even see how wonderful family can be when your first, important years were ruined by family. Nowadays you dont wanna deal with any of that shit
would prefer option what guarantee: peace, no stress and anxiety all the time. Just saying pls do what you think its best for you. You know yourself better than anyone
I am a woman, aged 60, never married, no children. For me it was the right decision, it is the lifestyle that suits my personality. That being said, I encouraged all the young women who have worked for me through the decades, to remember that what they had was a job and only a job. We were all disposable at work. If what they wanted was a marriage, children and a family then they should save their money, plan ahead, find someone who they loved and respected and hand me their notice when they were ready to start their family. I could always replace staff. Their family could never replace them. Women fought for the right to choose our destinies. Wanting to be a wife and a mother is a fine choice and a service to our communities.
Wonderful sentiment. Your staff were lucky to have you
Women didn't "fight" for squat. You complained a lot in the streets. Hardly storming Iwo Jima.
@@tellercydeyou alright dawg?
@@tellercyde I agree that it has always been innate in men to give their lives to women and want to please them so no real fighting was needed. But no need to argue about that in this thread which has nothing to do with that.
Sounds like cope and backward rationalizing.
Its clear that human beings suck at BALANCE... Cultures constantly tip too far one way or too far the other way.
Look forward to seeing the full interview. Excellent visual and audio quality!
The societal momentum is hard to recognize before it’s to late.
@Ram Rod Its called "Sheit Testing" at the global level
Its because we are only meant to be in a small community of 25-50 humans. That's when there is balance. Technology more so social media has flat out turned the scale upside down.
@Ram Rod Women being more likely to vote for the left is more pronounced in the USA than elsewhere. In the UK for example both female PMs have been conservatives and many of the leading conservative and right wing populist leaders (Marine Le Pen, Giorgia Meloni etc) are women. In fact in inter-war France the French left feared extending the franchise to all women as they thought it would favour the conservative parties.
Not human beings per se. It's a small number of intelligent, persuasive people who have learned how to rule from afar, enslaving people to their will "for the good of all".
1. Women are shamed for being childless.
2. If women get pregnant there's no guarantee that the father sticks around
3. If they end up single mothers, they get shamed for that too. They get told (rightly) that they made the choice to have a baby and now they have to live with the consequenses.
I don't blame them for just going with the first option and remain childless.
1. They’re shamed by other women. Most men won’t care. Most of us are checked out.
2. Women leave the relationship 70% of the time.
3. Most men see single moms as the 70% that initiated the divorce and not the 30%.
Some women don't have children because simply they don't like them.The choice for a woman not wanting children and being aware of it helps preventing toxic parenting and mistreating children who in adulthood would bear deep emotional scars.It's not always about career,it can be a clear and simple conscious choice.
Many people don't like children who aren't their's.
Also, the way western society treats children makes them intolerable to be around
What a self-indulged cop out..
@@italiantraditionalcatholic2390 No such thing. No one owes you children you will never see or contribute to. You're selfish because you impose on others.
@@italiantraditionalcatholic2390 I have cousins in another state (USA) who are Catholic and they are early thirties. Most Catholics I know are (sorry) full of shut because they don't follow any of the rules but will insist that they are going to heaven. Blah blah blah. I barely know these cousins, but I heard they adopted a crack baby -- worked through the issues -- and then 3 months later, another unwanted newborn they heard about. If you're going to make me listen to your Catholic bs, then at least be like my cousins -- adopt crack babies and then we'll talk. I really admired them practicing what they preach. Rare.
Thank you.
I'm 28 and I'm so tired already without even having kids. Having kids would literally destroy me.
Same 😅
yeah riding the cockcarussel must be exhausting
Having a child is the best thing you can have in the world.
@@duncanhewitt6557
I’d rather have my trips to Japan. 😋
It's not for everyone. But, think about the topic enough to the point where you know you won't regret your decision in the future
As a preschool teacher I can tell you that 9/10 people would be better off never becoming a parent. It is just not for everyone and thats ok. I don't understand why some people get pushed into parenthood with no education, poor as all hell, anger issues, drinking problems...They have no idea what to do with a child so they take them to the kindergarten all day, take them home and put them to sleep. Don't be afraid not to have kids. These are not the ye old days. You should be happy to live like you want to. It can be with a baby and/or a job you like.And please don't think a baby will fix a crappy life or a crappy relationship. Young girls be smart, do better.
Thank you.
Exactly. That band aid baby or the golden goose. I have known 2 women that purposely got pregnant to get out of going to work or doing something they don't want to have to do. They lied to their boyfriend and the other one lied to her husband, went off the pill, didn't tell him and jumped on him when she knew she was ovulating. What gets me is their vile, manipulative plan works. They get pregnant no problem and get out of whatever it is they did not want to do. Yet, there are many women who would love a baby and plan on a baby because they actually want one, never use him or her as a pawn in their pathetic life and they cannot get pregnant to save their lives. I will never understand that one.
Going by your number than 90% of parents are drunks, druggies and psychos.... Which is plainly not true unless you live in a bad neighborhood. In which case your numbers are not representative. If you argument with numbers, give us the courtesy of using accurate data.
@@lauravergot9995 you’d be shocked how common child abuse is these days.
It’s called discipline!! No one has the discipline in the heat of the moment to use protection so most of us were accidents.
I’m 32, and as are my friends. None of my friends have children. My girlfriend, one that lasted 7 years, did not want children. And for the most part everyone’s reason seems to be general overwhelm and instability in the world. The ones that make enough money to feel like they could support a kid, are too busy working. And I think covid pushed people off the fence that were on the fence.
So true.. the cost of living also has went up sooo crazy. Especially if you live in a major city. Back when your parents were young, they could just move out and get a “regular job” and be able to hold down a 1 bedroom by themselves, even with not the best job. But at least have a stable place of their own until they get to the point where they can get a better job/career and then a better place. You would even be able to have a girlfriend, have a kid, have an apartment on your own, with a regular job back then.
You cannot do that anymore in this society. It’s not that simple anymore. The “American Dream” has changed, the whole structure has changed. People don’t even want the American dream anymore nor does America push that rhetoric anymore. This is the new world that we live in. NWO.
Ohh, I fell hard from the American cedar fence.....
That's a good point. Also, you can take out a 30 yr mortgage and 9 months later your employer says "we are going in a new direction. your job is no longer needed". Point being, employers have no problem sacking people with less than 2 years on the job, regardless of productivity. I even knew an employee ask his boss if it was safe to buy a house and relocate, and the boss said yes, and he still got laid off within a year. He didn't even want to live in that city. The boss did not have any discretion about the layoff.
Personally if that’s how they feel then they shouldn’t be having sex.
Well what’s the point then, not trying to force anyone here. But seriously what are we actually gonna do about the rapidly declining birthrates in the US? It could become a serious problem by 2050 and sheer immigration isn’t the solution.
I’m from an impoverished single parent household where I wasn’t valued and treated as a burden with frequent abuse. My focus in life has been on survival. Dating is difficult b/c men do not want to be tied down, help raise children or be monogamous. If a man cannot commit to me, I’m not having children without the necessary support to do so. I’ve broken the cycle of abuse and poverty and remain happily single and childless. I do have pets though.
Most of time women don't have an issue dating unlike an average guy who doesn't even get looked at as potential even if a good man. As women have it so easy and have many options then it is the women at fault for chasing wrong men if can't find decent one.
" Dating is difficult b/c men do not want to be tied down, help raise children or be monogamous." Look for different type of men and a different setting. I know so many guys my age that wanted exactly that in their 20s.
You seem like an extremely self aware, intelligent person. I think you will have a happier life knowing that you’ve made your choices so consciously, based on how well you know yourself. I think having another being to care for is an innate part of the human experience. However, there’s no reason you can’t offer that care and love to a pet, who will no doubt have an amazing life.
Before my husband and I met he had 2 children. I'm 35, no children, never wanted children. Now that I'm getting older, I want children and my husband doesn't want any. Haha
I'll be ur pet
Complicated issue. The ones who should be having kids are putting it off, often till it's too late, and the ones who shouldn't ever have kids are cranking them out like assembly lines, often with multiple (unmarried) fathers and social services involved.
100% accurate, good comment man
Nailed it. Reminds me of "Idiocracy". We're living it.
@@IdExCS "I'm gonna f**k all of y'all!! Wooo!!!"
this is literally it! the issue isn't people in general choosing to have kids or not, its the people who SHOULD NOT be having kids and doing it anyway, THOSE people are the problem.
Yup. The smart people create social welfare programs and then decide not to have kids so all those resources just go into raising dumber kids 🙄
I thought the lack of children had more to do with people simply not being able to afford children given the current state of the economy? People in the newer generations can't keep up with inflation, outrageous medical costs, rising housing costs, all alongside student debt. My partner and I consciously decided not to have kids for this reason alone, despite the fact we'd like to. We just can't afford it, even in our 30's.
Edit: We just had one child recently and are looking to grow our family, but our 830 sqft home can't accommodate. We decided to not have a 2nd kid since we can't afford a new house with the current housing prices. I guess economics strikes yet again.
Edit #2: My partner and I are now divorcing due to financial hardship straining our marriage after having a kid. She wanted to be a stay at home mom, but it wasn't possible on one teacher's income. Suffice it to say this ultimately drove a wedge between us. I feel so angry and frustrated. I hate this economy.
Edit #3: My partner and I are now back together and decided not to divorce after lengthy discussions about moving out of country to achieve our financial, family, and child goals. We are currently living a much more manageable lifestyle without the worry of several things like high cost of rent, owning and maintaining a car (no real need for one anymore, public transportation is cheap and plentiful here), cost of food (local produce is sold down the street very cheap, no chemicals!), public health care services, and better work/life balance with our job giving us more vacation time. People also really appreciate teachers here, unlike in the United States where we felt very scrutinized and blamed for problem student's own poor choices and behavior. There is such a stark difference in how we now feel incentivized to have children with the local policies where we're at; so much more affordable child care and employment agreements for child leave and child sick days. It really is amazing how the lower cost of living has completely changed our lives. We have a second child on the way now. Living out of country has really put things into perspective for us; I feel really bad for all Americans and how, given the comments below, there is so much bashing on people not having children, yet nothing is being done to make it easier for Americans to have them. We do not plan on returning to the United States unless policies drastically change there to make things easier for raising families.
that sounds terrible :( are you located in the USA?
My experience (60+ mother & grandmother) is that we can always find a way to afford the things that really matter to us. So unless you are truly destitute, don't let a modest income or lifestyle stop you from becoming a parent. I can recall some pretty lean times raising my son and yet I have never once regretted it. We always found a way and he turned out very well.
Jordan peterson is very biased and traditionalist in these aspect and can only see one view when it comes to child bearing despite the fact that he prides himself on being open minded. Sometimes I pity his wife. He's one of those people who is so used to being the smartest person in the room, he becomes closed minded to external perspective on things.
funny how poor people have more kids
@@nancybatch7007 That is a disgusting way of encouraging people to raise children in povery.
50% of women dont have kids. 50% of all marriages in divorce. Meaning A LOT of kids got to see their parents struggle through their childhood. I love being a mom, but being a single mom is heartbreaking and hard. I fight every day to see the light. Im so tired.
If you don’t mind me asking, why are you a single mom?
why i belive its not just having kids. its about beingin a healthy relationship. many people today have fears, hurt, shame, blame, child hood truma, trumas and attachment. and fail choosing the right people becused of it. or they are chasing, or lonle, or choosing someoned based on the wrong reasons. and kids grow up in a toxic or stressful eviorfment also cuse them to have truma. so having kids not the issue, having kids with less ruma that choosing good relationships.
shouldn't have had a kid then
@@slapjuice maybe none of us should, so we are 100% guaranteed not to deal with BS comments like yours
50% of women AGED 30 don't have kids. By the time they look at the women at age 45, most will have had kids, or at least one (I'm going to guess about 90%).
I came from Eastern Europe, where most children grow up in dysfunctional families. The typical father is alcoholic, violent, unfaithful to his household unemployed wife. Many of my friends (including me) choose to pursue a career and gain financial independence first before thinking about marriage. So if we ever end up in a scenario as our mothers have, we could leave the broken marriage and spare our children of the trauma we've suffered as children. Choices for the career first and later marriage (or no marriage at all) came from poor father/daughter relationships, which lead to deep untrust/fear towards men and marriage in general.
Good for you, Eastern European men are all over Ireland and they're really horrible to even us native women who pay taxes to give them free housing. They're really aggressive too
damn speak for yourself. Calling every Slav dysfunctional.
Thank you for putting this in. I am from a middle eastern family and I am a witness of how my mother is being patient with my father, who mentally abused the entire family for more than a decade. I see this in 90% of my relatives relationships as well. Unfortunately it is a cultural thing for many, that the wife is a mother and is not independent and has no other choice than staying with a crazy husband ( it also happens to be the other way around, but this video is about women). You never know how things go, so it IS important to get at least a decent education so that you can have a secure job to survive, if things go totally wrong. But I still want to finish my studies because it is my highest interest to be a scientist and can't wait to become a mother one day!
@@BOZ_11 excuse me, so if a man is totally unhappy with his wife after a couple of years, how is it then? „ well, he married her“? You never know people 100%, we don’t even know ourselves. And especially in other cultures, you don’t get the chance to „try“ someone first as it is in western countries. People most likely think that people all over the world have the same freedom in choosing their partners the way it is in western societies.
Smart men are walking away from whamen and marriage big time now, so don't worry. Enjoy your career and cats ...
As a single mother if it were not for my career I would have been homeless as having a child is expensive. Unfortunately for me I bought into the concept that my husband would stay and provide for us, which now I realise was delusional. A woman should be financially independent.
That is the best point out of the motherhood conversation. All women should be financially independent before getting married and having kids, society today is not conducive to stay at home parents
exactly and all these men fighting for old gender roles are delusional
@@31minutesago It was always broken
@@lukegibson9410 Wait so are you saying if i make a child with a woman and then just fuck off, its the womans fault alone?
@@Swiss_Cynic yes, that's what he's saying. with the rise in gender equality also comes a rise in subjugation. a lot of men are extremely insecure and triggered by the fact that women are empowered to do what they want now instead of being forced to get married and become baby factory live-in maids. let's just hope society continues to slide in the direction of equality rather than back into female slavery.
Many women don’t have children because of life circumstances not always by choice. I’m 32, housewife, married for two years. I always wanted children, but three months ago my husband got aggressive type of cancer and fighting for his life. I can’t even imagine ever starting all over again with someone else. I might end up childless because of that but I can’t always control everything.
I'm sorry for your difficulties. I appreciate you sharing this though. For the conversation, yours is a good example of a situation where a woman does not have children despite wanting to do so.
I do hope the best for you no matter what, and for what it is worth, you are still plenty young if you did happen across someone. As you are able, it is always worth pursuing the goal if you wish. Or, if even you were to meet someone after 40, or thereabouts, adoption is always a great option for couples who want children but consider their age to be a risk factor for conceiving. In today's time, a couple in their 40s are plenty young to raise children even if biology makes it difficult.
Regardless, I wish you all of the best!
I have an example like this in the family, stay strong and good luck.
True, it is circumstantial for some. But you're much better off delaying in order to give yourself , your potential spouse, and your potential child the best shot at a stable life.
It's really hard out there nowadays, especially for single moms. And no shade....one of my best friends is a single mom. But she is struggling bigtime.
Do you think you have it worse than your grandparents?
@@hamzamahmood9565
Really inappropriate question. 😖
I had my first child at 27. And then my second at 31. I will tell you. All my energy that I put in my career developing and leading people was simply me acting out my maternal urges. Urges that were subconscious. Once I had children. My job has since become an irritant. I loved my career. Now I despise how high I’ve climbed. I’m currently looking to demote. My kids overwhelmingly bring me more joy than anything.
Achievement unlocked: get creampied (twice)
The world needs more moms like you. Too many children growing up with parents prioritizing work. When their real life’s work is getting neglected, the child
@@Benny_B0O0 I always tell my kids they are more important than my job. But I don’t think having employment equates to neglect. Neglectful mothers will be neglectful regardless of being unemployed or not. The key is that my childrens development and needs come first. Should my job ever come in the way of that, the kids come first. However I know plenty of neglectful mothers who have ever had a job.
And then you woke up
Lovely. Your husband is a very lucky man. Made my day. Thank you.
Some women simple don't wanna risk ending up as single mothers, struggling to take care of and financially provide for children on their own.
Fair point but the bitterness and hostility within your answer is very detectable. Having grown up my entire childhood as one of three children being raised by a single mother, I understand the difficulties of such a situation. And, I, like many others, am disturbed with the percentage of non-present fathers, so it is understandable why for many women have their guard up.
For everyone wanting to build a family, finding a proper Partner is not easy. Moreover, once a potential Partner is found, developing and maintaining the relationship long term is incredibly challenging. But, my ultimate advice is, even with all of this considered, not to stop trying. While children do grow up in a family with a single mother due to the father choosing not to be around, there is another significant factor that contributes to the number of single parent homes. Many people in relationships nowadays, men and women alike, do not try nearly hard enough to overcome obstacles and challenges with the appropriate level of determination to stick together. People throw in the towel much too quickly. And, this comes mostly at the expense of the children. People need to have the fact consistently reinforced that having and raising a child will add that much more challenge to any relationship, which is normal, but with the appropriate efforts and cooperation, a happy and loving family is not just possible, but necessary and endlessly rewarding.
But, too many people are forgetting that once a relationship involves a child, the responsibility for both parents to maintain the relationship grows tremendously. The situation mostly stops being about the parents and both parents have an obligation to the child to maximize their efforts towards cooperation and maintaining a healthy relationship and household.
Ultimately, I share all of this because, while there is merit to your comment, its tone indicates that you may have had relationships or other experiences that have caused your hesitation and aggravation with trying to build a relationship and family. But, it is important to try your best to recover and keep trying when you are able. It is true that, with three children and a single mother in the household, our family struggled a lot growing up. Yet, my mother undoubtedly considers here children to be her top accomplishment and she has always made it clear that her love for her children fulfill her happiness and keep her heart beating. While all women do not need to feel that same way, it only makes sense that having children is a top priority for many women and can be one of the most rewarding aspects of their lives. So, despite all the challenges of our time, and all of the risk involved, the reward involved is worth it. And if it helps, it is still the case that many men desire to build a happy family as well. So, while I can understand why women can feel hesitant and defeated at times following difficult relationships or other challenges, I always consider it worth it to take the necessary time and steps to recover from bad relationships, or other experiences, as needed, then always keep looking forward. For anyone willing to put in those consistent efforts, the reward is possible and of incomparable value.
This is what people don't get. I've seen so many women give up careers to be wives and moms and them get cheated on and left by their husband's. I will never give up my career and will always be financially independent because I'm not losing that to conform to what society keeps telling me I should do.
@@Megan-19 exactly. Even if I do ever get married, I'll always make sure I have an income so I'm not screwed if I become widowed or divorced.
Many women end up having children with the expectation that the man will provide and society pressures him to be the breadwinner for life or looks at him in disgust. On the other hand women are pressured to have children but many guys could be violent, or cheaters or abusive to you/children. A lot of people should not be parents.
@@Megan-19 if you don't want a husband or children, that's on you and it's perfectly fine. However, you make up only a small percentage of women who don't want a husband or children. He's talking about majority of these women will be miserable or full of regret when they exceed beyond the age of childbearing. Also, my mom was a single mother of 5 children and all 5 of us came out perfectly fine. She doesn't regret having any of us and all of us are glad we were born, even with being a single mother. There's nothing attractive about feminism and Jordan spends quite a bit of time dismantling it on a regular basis
I just turned 24 and see a lot of my High School classmates as Single Parents with one or even two children. I could not imagine how they can support themselves in this economy, especially having to divert most of their attention to take care of the baby.
exactly... one of my best friends is a single mom...she's in her late 40's but times are TOUGH for her. one of her kids is on college and is a total leech/spends so much unnecessarily. i feel for her!
@@EadsB7002 Leech 😂😂😂😂
That one of the main things that make if incredibly difficult. This economy. Its going to get worse. Having a newborn in this day and age is not a good idea.
Well you can ask them why they're simgle parents. It takes two people and two incomes in most cases in this economy in order to properly raise children. You're right, it's not fair for the child to have a single parent try to raise them all on their own, but investigate why they're single parents. I guarantee most of your friends had children out of wedlock, or have divorced their spouses over reconcilable shit. We need to reconstruct the family unit, but it doesn't start with the children. It starts with husbands and wives to form healthy marriages.
@@jacksonmills961 you're missing something there mate,in order to re establish marriage the way it's supposed to be , Religion has to take power again and dictate its laws and thus reconstruct marriage as God's wants it to be, unfortunately the west is anti religion and won't accept to have religion rulling,so people will just keep roaming as lustful animals and women will keep being sexually exploited and impregnated out of wed lock and be condemned to be single mothers for the rest of their lives.
Why don't we talk about having children is much more expensive nowadays than decades ago?
@@mmecharlotte👏👏👏👏👏
Not that it was more expensive it’s that there’s more to buy
@queefstormiest
It is, that's a fact.
You may not know because you don't have any kids, and if you have, you are not taking proper care of them.
@@31tentaclesthe US government gives a $3600 income tax credit just 10 years ago it was about $500 credit… as a whole in our society we need a growing population cause they will take care of us at older age and keep the economy going.
@@gabrielgonzalez6456
OMG, what? Having children is not so they can take care of old parents, no offense but that's just fkd up, bro ❗️ if a man wants children so they can take care of him when he is old, he doesn't need kids, he needs a nurse (or she, whatever), children are people, not objects or property
This is a good thing. Women are getting smarter. Why would women want to force children into a society that will not even follow it's own laws and social contract?
I worked this out for myself. The ‘wanting it all’ of the 1980’s is actually having to do it all. I saw so many good, sensible women burnt out and thinking the problem was them. Cruel.
True. But society won’t notice this things that women go through.
Agree. If it’s between children and career, the later wins. A child is a huge commitment (when you care) and yet women are not compensated for this vital labour.
@@Coastpsych_fi99 that is a very sad way of looking at it. you care more about money than your own family glad your not my parent.
@@mike-pw8hi That is because your family will *die* if you don't have the money to feed them.
@@Coastpsych_fi99 ignoramus
This is a beautifully shot interview. Great attention to detail, Chris. You're killing it.
Nice quality but the close up is awful
agreed
Location is nice, could be better exposed I think.
seriously, the lighting, staging, it looks better than anything you'd see on tv. impressive!
You're a legend
I love this comment section because it has so many varying opinions.
People past 40’s with no kids & loving it.
People who had kids in 20’s loving it.
People who had kids later & regretting it
People who are unable to have kids and okay with it.
Guy who wants a family and kids but will likely never get chance due to not being wanted. Add that to the list.
And the 40s desperately wanted kids and devestated with her infertility person. Add that one, too.
There arw so many reason to be thankful
True. And they're all satisfied with their lives. There's a level of satisfaction with that.
@@PwerRanger01 I'm 34 and never been in a fulfilling relationship
No one "should" have children. If you WANT children, then it's great, go ahead and have them. If you don't want children, DON'T have them. I didn't have children, i chose not to have children and it's been the absolute right choice for me. I'm extremely happy with how my life is. Don't pressure people or fear monger people into having kids. That's a terrible reason to have children. There's plenty of people in the world. Every child should be a WANTED child
My mother never wanted children but had them because of society. I’ve been in therapy for 10 plus years, to deal with my CPTSD because of the abuse I suffered as my mother resented my very existence. Please don’t have kids unless you want them. I know the pain of being a child of a woman who had a kid just to have a kid for society sake.
This should be pinned. Many women did NOT want children. They had them because it was the next “step” . Then the child(ren) are abandoned emotionally and mentally. Then men pretend to not know about the neglect because they aren’t being a present parent either. I commend you for taking the necessary steps to ensure your own well being 💜✨
amen
Exactly!!! People should only have kids if they really want to have kids and can provide for their kids❤
Same unfortunately x
Would you rather have never existed?
22 years of education and in the last year of my PhD in STEM field, I realized I was missing a big time
My husband and I decided to have a child despite it being a very bad timing for me. But I realized the "right time" never seem to come. There is always something more to do, a paper more to publish, one more internship to go to, look for job post graduation, get the job and try to promote your rank as a newbie to get a fair salary, try harder because now you have even more responsibilities at hand in a senior role, etc, etc. I just figured I have to just draw the "stop" line somewhere and get back to my life. Now two months pregnant and I feel I just opened a new chapter in my life. I am scared, that is true. In my field, a few years away from market means you lose all your value, you turn into a useless old car. I have thousands of doubts about my future as a career woman, but one thing I never doubt; I am not gonna regret this. I just wish world was a bit kinder to women like me who decide to juggle the heck out of this seemingly "lose-lose" game.
Good luck. That is not an easy decision. I truly hope it works out for you ❤️
It's very commendable to take the route that to me, appears the more difficult one. You've done well, but every choice has a sacrifice.
You made the right decision. I had my first child at 35 and second at 37- they bring more joy and meaning to my life that I have never imagined was possible. I have experienced an unexpected renaissance in my midlife.
@@lucydoe1334 Glad it worked it out for you :)
I don't think there is a special brand of cruelty for women who prioritize children, it is just the reality of economics. Everyone wants to get the most productivity they can manage.
Men become 'disposable' and lose value in a workforce too. But because we can abuse our bodies for a longer period of time, it is different.
“Stay away from those people who try to disparage your ambitions. Small minds will always do that, but great minds will give you a feeling that you can become great too.” - Mark Twain
I was force fed that i must want a carrer and that raising kids was a lowly position. I was told that if my ambition was to be a mom and raise kids that was a lazy, lowly, stupid choice.
Beautiful quote. The question then becomes how do you as an individual define your own ambitions and your own greatness? From a very young age, I was discouraged from dating, discouraged from getting married, discouraged from having children... by people who genuinely cared about me and thought they were helping me. I love to work and I don't think I could ever be fully satisfied staying home and raising a family, but many many women are and I definitely think it is a worthwhile aim to pursue if you can be fulfilled by it. But by the same token, I don't think I could ever be 100% satisfied with my life if I pursued only my career and never had a family. My marriage is the most fundamentally important thing in my life, and now that I am pregnant with my first child, I already feel my priorities shifting. I cannot imagine ever intentionally choosing not to have this child or this family, even if it meant giving up my career. Luckily, I found a man to be my partner in life who wants nothing more in the world than to stay home and care for our children so I can continue to pursue my higher education and my career.
the problem is a good chunk of really successful people were REALLY lucky. And then they have the nerve to say, just do your best and you'll be successful too, when they themselves just got there by chance.
@@jebes909090 yap, that's true. Having the right ideas and being smart you can still get stuck in a lot of places
i really like that quote. it's short, yet so clear and important
Why is "regret" always thrown around like it is going to be the end of the world? Do you think there is anyone, anywhere, who lives totally free of regrets? It is the price we pay for being alive. We all have regrets. It should not be an excuse to badger others to reproduce.
Not to mention there is such a thing as regretting having children. Nobody talks about that.
@@lise7538I don’t think we should encourage it cause there are living human beings who could suffer because of this aka their kids and their grandkids.
@@Nastasyashanti Encourage what ?
Now if more kids could have fathers, than we would have something.
Well said. I know Jordan is emphasizing the positives of having a kid here (sorta) but it’s such a huge risk for a variety of reasons, and one is you can easily end up a single mother and if you don’t have that established career, you’re going to be fucked. Especially if you’re in the US where we tend to demonize single motherhood
@@GavinMichaels The us tends to "demonize" single motherhoods?!?!
are you out of your mind? the us is probably one of the places that pushes for single motherhood the most, saying things like "you don't need a man", "women can do it all" and other bullocks.
@@GavinMichaels Exactly. Well stated.
@@dude2410 Compared to other developed countries, we do demonize them. Look at other developed countries and the benefits they have for single mothers, and compare it to the US. The fact that "welfare mom" is an insult for many conservatives is telling. It doesn't mean we have ZERO programs to help single motherhood, but it means we've got a long way to go. And it makes single motherhood such a huge risk in the US. Also I think you're taking the phrase "you don't need a man" to mean that women don't need a partner in marriage, where (at least when I've seen it used) it's in reference to women having self-respect without feeling like they need to be hitched (without a child that is) when the norm for so long was if you're not married by such and such age, you're a failure, embarrassment etc.
That's the REAL problem. Well said.
Some of us know we would not be good mothers, some of us have mental illness and other struggles so it would definitely not be healthy or smart to bring a child into the world. Secondly, relationships are not what they used to be. Men and women no longer value long-lasting relationships anymore, with the rise of hookup culture it has taught us to treat relationships like flavors we can pick and choose from when in reality none of us are exactly easy to love. It takes real work and commitment to make things work, even in the best of relationships.
I could be a good mother even with my personal trauma and challenges. I just don’t want to spend 18+ years of my life living round someone else’s clock. I can’t even stick in a job for too long. I didn’t choose to be born so I just want to experience life for myself through my eyes at my pace with all my senses without worrying someone is depending on me and my choices ✍🏻
Children have an amazing ability to force people to grow up and be less selfish because someone else relies on you to live.
One of the major issues in modern western culture is that we value being young and free with no responsibilities and, ultimately no limits/hedonism. I look fondly on my youth, but as a 40 year old father of two with a loving wife; my life is infinitely better and I’m a better, more responsible person (and thus better for society) than when I was in my 20s.
We need to encourage all parties to be more personally responsible with our choices in life, and get people to grow up.
@@lt.2992 at least you're honest about being selfish.
@@BENR8108 not always... plenty of selfish and useless parents out there...
Yup.. people never recognise there is alternate to incel.. femcel. Annoying that always incels get the heat and femcels are forgotten. 😔
Gen X here. We were all told by our parents to wait until our 30s to have children. Society shifted and wanted our generation to experience a bit more life, become more financially secure, and mature enough to have that kind of responsibility. Now Society wants to reverse it for the next generation?!! However, the next generation faces never owning a house. Prior to this a family could be raised on one income and own a decent house.
I can totally understand why having children is becoming less achievable.
Don't think to much about material goods. There will always will be a solution, especially as people are dumping perfectly fine goods for nothing as second hand goods. The most important and beautiful things don't cost money: loving parents, time spend outside in the woods etc.
@@schulze6758there will always be rich people throwing away perfectly fine things. That doesn't mean a poor family can afford them, even thrifting, and the hours that costs to find useful stuff before the flippers do. Time outside in the woods is free, until you have to purchase the woods or land, or spend the time you dont have, while working to keep up payments on a shelter you'll never own. This really reads very out of touch with anyone being able to afford kids. but it shows you 'dont think too much about material goods' and don't know why anyone struggles
@@schulze6758 Oh yeah, because there are so many great jobs and affordable homes to purchase near "the woods" you'll send your children to play in...
You got! I told my daughter that you really can’t trust men to be providers or protectors anymore and men are just losing their minds. Instead of acknowledging that there is a problem with men wanting 50/50 now is when we look at alllll the responsibilities a woman must endure in order to be wifed plus having to work just as hard, marriage seems unfair for women. Now men use shaming tactics to force women to chase them. Makes no sense. I have 2 kids was married and stilll lived as a single mother. I would have never signed up for this shit if I knew that my husband was just going to find someone younger and dumber than me.🤷🏽♀️ oh well you live and learn the lies.
@@schulze6758 second hand furniture and clothing can NOT solve the problem of average house these days costing TEN average annual incomes, while 30 years ago it was only THREE.
No kids and absolutely thankful! WGTOW
Maybe it depends on the person, but I got pregnant at 29 and had my first child at 30 - I have no regrets. I didn't have a bad childhood, but I definitely had a few creases to iron out on my personality before becoming a mother. I wasn't ready in my 20s, and would have resented having a child of I had become a mother at 22 or something. So waiting until my late 20s/early 30s was the right thing for me.
Early and even mid 30s is a reasonable age to have children. My mom had my sis at 31 and me at 33. My grandmother had my aunt at 38 and my dad at 42.
Feminists try to drive this narrative that women don't need to think about their age and they can freeze their eggs, and they have plenty of time, etc. It's lunacy. There's definitely a time limit. On the flip side, it's frustrating how the more conservative types tend to drive the narrative that women need to have their children in their 20s. Its as though they think we hit menopause at 30. Both mentalities are flawed.
@@JessG_20 While you are correct, it's also true that men shouldn't have kids after their 40s. Testosterone plummets and autism becomes more prevalent.
@@VintageCardinal Agree, that's something else I was thinking but didn't mention.
@@JessG_20 It does seem like the narrative is either/or.
I had 3 kids in my 20's while working in aviation. And then I had twins at 40 years old last year. I've got to say, in my 40's, I realized I was too old and too tired to get through the pregnancy while holding down a job and definitely too old and tired to take care of twins and hold down a job. Eff that noise. But in my 20's I had a supportive husband and the energy and drive to hold down a job and be a mother. We shared parenting duties and I think we made a great decision going ahead and having kids in our 20's. 18 years of marriage and he's still wonderful.
The thing is, I did college but never saw my job as a career. I looked for a field that would provide well for me. I was in a male dominated field and didn't try to compete for promotions. I was never interested in working myself to death. I rejected overtime and was told I'm not a team player. I'd rather be a good parent than a team player.
@@runningfromabear8354 I can imagine having twins at 40 would be insanely hard. I was kinda shocked when I found out my grandma had my dad at 42. I've always felt the ideal age for me personally would have been 28 to 33..Sadly, I'm now 35 😂
I also notice that something else people don't take into account are the obesity rates when they're discussing women's ticking clock. Being overweight will usually affect fertility. From what I've read, overweight women tend to have much more difficulty getting pregnant. One of my older coworkers was telling me a couple years back that I need to "hurry up" because her own daughter who is 1 year older than I, started having issues with fertility around age 31 or 32. Well her daughter, who I've met, looks to be nearly 300 lbs 😐
I rather be a single than a single mom.
… and you can be a single mom, married or not.
good. get married before having kids
@@wade2boshRead the comment above you🙄
He is saying getting married is better than being a single mom with children born out of wedlock.
❤
I’m 31 and feel quite pressured to have a child. People around me say “there will be no one for you when you’re old” and “just get a baby, even if you’re alone”. Yes, if I had a supportive and loving partner with whom I could raise a new human being, I probably would get children. But saying to get a child just for my own self is extremely selfish. 😢
Too old tbh dont bring in a deformed kid for selfish reasons
So not having a child hey. Will you give 40% of your income to families in poverty who are having children then?
Or will you enjoy your child free, responsibilty free lifestyle to buy all the lavish crap you have all the freedoms to buy?
Ive always taught the same. I would love to have a child, I already attempted once with a not so quality choice partner...Sadly it didnt make it. I was very excited to have someone of my own, someone that would love and need me. And I can love them back, but i always go back to your last sentence, thats extremely selfish of me. Not only that, its difficult to find someone that isn't so selfish or self centered to have a family. Times have changed and we should just accept it. There is no love or empathy, just the next day
@@glenbenton4855 I believe that there definitely is love ❤️ just start spreading it around you and it will “infect” others 😃
@@agathles You know, I don't want to be that "but i do" person but man, lot of people just take advantage of that and abuse you. Its the tale as old time but, I am tired of suffering due to my good heart and the ill intent of others just looking to see how they can step on you. Not to be negative
Doesn’t always have anything to do with a “Career”. Has to do with personal choice and the actual true desire to have kids or not have kids.
so 50% of woman dont want kids is that what you saying?
I'm one of the women who have made it to 50 (I'm 54) and never had children. I'm ok with it. I'm naturally a happy person and one of those over achievers you describe. For context, I'm divorced. I have 3 adult step children who I love, great job and lots of friends and hobbies. We do exist.
Not only do you exist, you are also doing great. There is no formula to life and we should stop searching for one.
Same here, I'll be 40 next year and I'm still deciding if I want a puppy.
Well step children are a way to have children so, God bless
9:32
I'm childfree and so is my husband. It's even better if you can be stepchild-free!
This is all a fair discussion, but why is it always about why WOMEN are childless at 30? Why are we not asking why men are childless as well?
I'm in my 20s and still single. I really see a lack of men willing to grow up and be a father just as much as I see women who don't want to have kids. I'm not going to raise kids without a father- not just a dad, but a true paternal figure.
@get busy child
You have no answers
Just propaganda
It’s a super easy answer. Men can simply wait longer. Women lose 90% of their eggs by 30. 35 is geriatric pregnancy. Men aren’t under this time crunch from a biology perspective. This is the science, like it or not.
Women peak in the dating marketplace in their early to mid 20’s. Men like women with less baggage, better attitudes, no kids in tow, and that still have all their youth, beauty, and fertility. Like it or not this is reality.
Men are judged more on money, status, experience, maturity. Looks matter but a man’s looks don’t fade nearly as fast as women’s do (on average). Men as a result peak in their mid 30’s.
@@bannedbycommieyoutube5time920 1. Sperm quality also declines over time
2. Statistically men die sooner
3. As a woman in my early twenties, I don't want to date 30-something dudes
@@bannedbycommieyoutube5time920 You don't have to be so aggressive with your wording but what you say is true.
@@epicwoad8999 we need to stop tiptoeing around these issues. I would much rather have someone tell me the truth, even if I don’t like their tone, than lie to my face and mislead me. Things aren’t good right now between men and women, the data proves it. Shooting the messenger is a bad look.
I'm 36 and I will never have kids because I have already been worn out raising my mother and other siblings. Still am. I'm tired. Some of us just have fucked up lives. It's not fair but I guess I must accept that I will never have my chance on the "competence hietarchy". Dammit. That just sucks. 🙄
You're not alone, believe me. I didn't have the physical or emotional energy left for kids by the time I was grown, and possibly owing to the dysfunction of my family of origin, haven't had the urge to reproduce. Life's complex, and there are many ways of being a mother that don't involve giving birth. There will never be a shortage of orphans and neglected young people in this world - something my teaching job showed me. On the flip side of things, I 've seen so many women who've poured their everything in to their kids, only to be deserted by them, and are left feeling confused, hollow and so far out of touch with themselves that don't know what to do with their freedom. Peterson fails to factor any of that in.
If its any comfort, I will never have children either.
Never say never. God has blessed many women with children later in life. You may feel tired, but if you find the right husband he will share the burden with you and make it easier for you.
@@ccrow3355 Most people don’t believe in traditional marriages anymore. The divorce rate is astonishing. What happened to being bound to death by grace and love in God’s presence?
@@ExplodingVolcano777 like I said, find the right husband
Happily child free by choice in my 40s. I make my own informed choices instead of doing things ‘because that’s what people do’
As a young woman, I eventually had to ask myself the question: when I die what do I want to have, a family and husband who love me or a job that’s already replaced me? Money will go to the government if you don’t have kids to inherit. All your knowledge and best traits will die with you unless you have kids that you have raised to be responsible adults. A job title won’t love you back. I decided that I won’t ever chose a job or money over my family. I desperately want to have a loving family. I would like to have something to do outside my family that interests me, that I’m somewhat good at and benefits society at large. That would be the best life I can plan.
Edit: I didn't think I would have to say this because its obvious, but this is my opinion. I did not write this to convince anyone to be a stay at home mom, I wrote it because it's what I believe. I thought about this a lot, I used to think I needed a "career" or else I was lazy and a slave to a man. But life is not that simple, and motherhood is NOT oppression. It's a choice I make gladly, with full knowledge of what I am undertaking and what I am giving up. I'm not ashamed to say that I love my (future) kids more than any career. And once I am a mother, they will be my priority over myself. If you value a job more, then thats not my business nor do I care. It won't change my decision. After growing up in a pro feminist age and feeling ashamed of what I wanted, I no longer care what the main stream thinks about my desire for a family.
Problem is us men will not and not in increasing numbers accept women that age out and learn. We won't give our Prime based off what women find attractive to take care of and provide for women that squandered theirs. We aren't virgin or nothing, well some are, but we want your fertile prime or its not worth the risks.
You hit the absolute nail on the head. The funny thing is that all these women are prioritizing their education and career so they can be enslaved to an employer who will throw them away when they loose their value, due to age or other causes. I truly hope that these women spend the end of their lives childless and alone, so it can serve as a message to the rest of society that utilitarianism is nonsense. All your degrees, investments, and property is worthless. Your employer will throw you away in a heartbeat. Family is everything.
As another young women working in a very technical field I share your sentiment. My career is nothing more than a means for creating a stable environment, and if I someday have children, if it is in there best interest, I will be walking away from it.
@THE ZOLDICS yes. How the hell did you read what I said and take the exact opposite of what I said as my intent? That's what I said. Women want our Prime and young men are walking away because it's a raw deal.
@@mosesking2923 that's kinda harsh on women, but there is going to need to be a moment where something is understood more widely by them yeah.
If a woman doesn't prioritise her career, and focussed on marriage and children starting in young adulthood, she becomes dependent on her husband's character and stability for her quality of life. This did not turn out well for my mom and grandma - both intelligent women, but who didn't have careers (only part time jobs here and there). Their husbands were tempermental, emotionally abusive and controlled the money. My mom.snd grandma had unhappy lives.
Fair point, there's upsides to having a nice career. (Especially if you're happy with it, it's way better than living an unhappy life, guess nobody'd argue against that.)
But I think what Jordan was trying to draw attention to, is that when women become very successful career-wise (when independence has been taken care of already, so to speak), there's a good chance that going even harder (!) at the career front gives you diminishing returns.
Practically speaking, it probably makes sense to be financially independent, but going even further and trying to out-compete exceptional top-level psychos in their professional field of choice isn't necessarily a sane choice to make, that is, it's neither a particularly necessary nor a fruitful endeavor, on average (compared with the family-building alternative).
This has less to do with being dependent on someone but whom the person is you are depending on.
@@_munkykok_ Agree with you totally. I think when people get on one track in life, they are not good about making a change. Being thoughtful about the returns you are getting with the energies you are spending is something a lot of us need to learn.
@@pepy7779 The problem is still with women. It's always finances with you. Only women are affected negatively from being independent and successful. If something as shallow as money and material deters you from finding a partner, you're the one with the problem. You've never heard a strong and independent man struggle with relationships. That's because men are okay with dating down. We don't require someone to be rich, famous, or successful as us to give our love to. Women do because you don't enter with love on your mind, rather you enter with an idea of lifestyle. At the end of the day, women outnumber the available men in this country. Men already have higher rates of being single and not wanting to the date the women who are available. Yet you don't see men making videos about not wanting to die alone. Women do. Once again, this is a women problem.
@@GohanBeastss98 , what happens when the husband dies or gets hurt in the job, or loses his job and she doesn't have any financial backing for herself? In this economy, that's dangerous. Women in this day and age have to make sure they have skills, a job or a degree. Men are not immortal and women have to think about the future, if he was unable to work, isn't there or can't find a job. It's common sense that a women needs to have her own. Nothing in this life is guaranteed. Especially not finances. Especially if they have children together. She has no choice but to do what she has to do. But.... Why wait until the last minute. Any woman who does that is a fool. She should be worrying about finances on her in, just in case of an emergency. It's common sense and it's smart. Again, we are in a different economy. That man better be making really good money to pay for funeral expenses, rainy day funds, money for the children and wife to live on if he loses his job or dies(life insurance), savings, a house. Because if not, both her and the children will be living on the government. That's the truth.
But also our society isn't a child rearing society it's a work work work society. It's too fast paced and expensive to live.
@Pedro Ortega It's truly absurd.
@Pedro Ortega the real scary thing Pedro the Global Elites who run us ? they don't need 7.7 billion people to rule this planet they can easily lose 7.2 Billion and would be fine with just half a billion people so they are not worried about Population decline they will always have enough supply of cheap labor
The wealthiest people have:
-lower taxes on their primary income of wealth & sources: capital gains, dividends, and inheritance
-(through corporate positions or ownership) extreme political power through lobbyists, ownership of capital, and control over workers (Eg how much peer pressure gets applied for people at your office to vote for pro-business interests?)
The lifestyle of women now don’t want to get married. That is not the problem. The problem is that these same women will have children out of wedlock.chosing boys who are easy on the eyes and not young men who can be responsible. the biological fathers do not care or do not know because it’s a one time fling. So, they turn their attention to young men who at one time wanted them. These young men want nothing to do with them. Because it’s not their responsibility. These women had their chance and blew it. Now they want to prey on any simp to help them
I know, it's terrible...Freddo Chocolate Frogs have gone up 46% since the danpemic...awful.
It's not about careers guys. I don't want kids if I have a career or not. I just don't want kids because not everyone is meant to be a parent. Career women are mothers: yes and there are millions of them, even presidents and prime ministers. I have had so much damage, suffered depression, my childhood was not great. These experiences did not make me the best candidate for parenthood. I would even hate myself more if I went on to have children then end up being a bad parent. I would never be able to live with myself. Therefore not having kids is the best decision for myself and my potential children. It has nothing to do with chasing careers and shit.
Parenthood especially single parenthood is definitely not an enterprise for anyone who is not wholly committed.
Men will convince themselves that it’s anything other than the truth lol. They literally think their mothers and grandmothers wanted to have kids. News flash. They never did.
@@Mar1293Could you please tell me why they did have children? Because lack of birth control?
I’ve never wanted children as a child. I’m 39, don’t have kids, and gladly don’t want kids. Having a family, children isn’t for everyone. Stay blessed
Exactly! THIS is what's hapening, people are CHOOSING not to reproduce. Period.
@@clublulu399 is there any science to prove that or ...?
@@clublulu399 No, you should get out and talk to people more. You're making a silly assumption. Women are not hardwired to have kids, they just can if they want to. It's an option. Some of us don't want anything to do with it. Once you have kids, you can certainly understand the downside to it.
I've never wanted kids (I'm 38). I have a huge, dysfunctional family, and while I strive for and maintain a healthy lifestyle it's never been a desire for me. I've been with my husband 24 years, and we both love children but we are more than content loving our many neices and nephews. Don't let people make you feel like something is wrong with you. If it's in God's plan for you to have children, you will have children.
@@LapisPebble Humans are not bacteria whose only purpose is to reproduce mindlessly, many great minds of history died without children and they are still remembered, while the average family and parent is unremarkable.
Peterson's argument, being that "women are encouraged to value their careers", only represents one piece of a complex puzzle. To understand the decline of motherhood, we must also acknowledge the current state of manhood. Based on my own home environment and upbringing, I can clearly understand why a woman would ensure their career is established before entering marriage or motherhood. For women, this decision can be a safety measure rather than a "self-boasting, self-centered" action. I believe that women, including myself, tend to equip themselves with knowledge, skills and resources in order to withstand the possibilities of divorce, domestic violence, father absence, insufficient spousal support... Unfortunately, in my experience, women oftentimes prioritize financial and educational independence over early motherhood due to the possible unpredicatbility of men.
Exactly
It depends but yeah its a good point. I also think we have become way to obsessed with money and materialism in the west which has become an idol for us.
@@harlyf Very true.
Perfectly out. Thank you
@Drew Rushing It's interesting how in different cultures and countries mens tend to have the same mindset. I live in DR, where theres not support from the goverment for woman, there's no a win situation in signing up for divorce here. However most of the woman prefer breaking up due to the high rate of abuse, control, etc. so, i think that men should be humble and see that they are part of the problem too. I'm sorry for the ladys who feel down for not having a relationship in their 30s, no one can stand mistreatment. I just got out from a relationship with a guy who was a full follower of Kevin Samuel, and guess what? he cheated on me. Should i stay in a relationship like that?, no, so don't blame the girls who are in their 30 being single, i prefer being alone and happy than being in an abusive relationship, this is what is going on in real life.
I am 58 now but had my first child at 33, second at 38. I didn’t get the message that my career was the most important thing. It was more that “you better have a way of supporting yourself in case something happens to your husband, you don’t want to be caught flat-footed”. The economy was very rough for people my age and we ended up slacking and then grad school until things got better. Which they did. But the other internal urgency was that I wanted to make sure I had stability in my life before Bringing kids into the world. Finally, it was vitally important to me to have children and practice selflessness to raise them. Have to say it was not about patriarchy.
Adding: just because you’re a woman does not make you a natural for mothering. Some of us logical women have to work up to it .
can you please tell some advice to have kids at 38. Did you take vitamins or just live and let nature do the job or went under special care to get pregnant quickly?
@@alejandrarios4290 nothing special really. Think I had to lose some weight because we tried the year before without success. So, lost maybe 20 lb and then did the usual procreative sex. Lol
@@alejandrarios4290 every doctor tells you to just have regular sex. apparently regular sex every week for two years increases your chances by around 90%
You sound very smart and cautious :)
@@leedlbagginshield8492 thanks - you would be right about that. A lot of women my age delayed children. We all had to raise ourselves and didn’t want to do that to the next generation
I have never been pressured to have children nor have I possessed the desire to. Never been shamed for it either. I’m sorry for those women who live in that reality.
I’m an older, professional white female who’s never married, nor had children. I believe this interview comes from an upper class perspective. The assumption is that women are choosing career over marriage/children because they place more value on the career. While that may be the case with some of the elite women mentioned by JP, it’s certainly not true of women like me, who are financially successful, despite being born in poverty. Basically, my father abandoned us and had another family when I was five. We grew up on welfare, in public housing. Despite that, I went to college and did well. But when you grow up in the projects, all you see is women and children who have been abandoned and left in poverty by husbands and fathers. Thus I went to college with the focus on learning to take care of myself and never becoming vulnerable to a man who could walk out the door at any moment, leaving me and the children hungry and living in a car until we were able to get on welfare and into public housing. And yes, there are a lot of women like me. I would love to have children, but divorce and abandonment by my father left me scarred.
I agree, I grew up in a Northern UK city in decline and saw terrible poverty and the poor abandoned women and children and vowed I would never make myself and certainly no child of mine that vulnerable. I also felt sorry for the men as most of them had their self esteem destroyed too...
Poverty doesn’t mean a bad life. It means you will struggle with grace and mental fortitude. One day you will want kids
Lee B., has it occurred to you that perhaps it was your Mother who abandoned your Father, running off with you and raging at your father "You will never see her again, and she will hate you!" Don't believe the Pablum that your mom has fed you; that comes from people trying to rationalize their own appalling behavior.
@@jvaneck8991 - Or, perhaps, her mother acted irresponsibly and got pregnant by a man who should never have been selected or given the chance to breed with her.
Women file most divorces (they can even file for no reason), are most likely to get alimony, most likely to get custody of child. This has been happening for decades now. Men get financially and emotionally exploited in a lot of those cases. There has not been an acknowledgement, let alone an attempt to solve this issue by society.
I think Peterson simply cherry picks the things. For example, he said "We just lie to them all the time. The first lie is, there is nothing more important than your career."
That's REALLY simplistic. Women are ALSO told that there is nothing more important than beauty, and that there is nothing more special than having kids and a family. All of these things come from a variety of sources. He has simply chosen the one that drives his particular narrative.
Suits his agenda!
I agree that he is only highlighting this single viewpoint, but we should give him credit for talking about this specific "career" ideal. As a women in her mid to late 20's, other narratives about beauty and family have been a conversation for a while now. We know about accepting ourselves and our choices through media and our society, but infertility and its toll on families that DO want to have children is eclipsed.
His conversation is really less of an attack on those who choose to be childless, but is an eye-opener for those who are not sure and are surrounded by current trending narratives.
@@plaidword Why? He basically parrots things that are already well established. He also ignores where those narratives were derived from and whose interests they actually serve.
and when he cherry picked that womens fertility falls after 30 XD male/female infertility is 50/50 at all ages for variety of reasons.
I never married or had children and I am 52. I knew from a really young age I didn’t want any. I came from a very violent neglectful environment and didn’t want to make the mistakes my mother made. Having overcome deep loneliness in my 30’s and 40’s I have no regrets. I thought at one point I would like to marry or have a partner but I’ve spent so much time alone that I probably couldn’t do it and I feel that my time has come and gone. I still would like to regain control over my health - I regained weight that I had lost - and be happy and enjoy the life I have so be it alone. Not everyone has the opportunity in this life to be partnered and that’s ok. I’m at peace.
Wishing you the best!
At what point did either of them stop the video and say "Kelly Smith should have [insert your trigger]"? Never. This isn't about you. Stop being emotional. He's speaking in general.
@@johnnyBrwn of course he's speaking in general, but anyone can comment on the video and share their perspective/experience. Following your line of thinking, this person's comment isn't about you, so why would you reply to it? Also, how is this person being emotional? You seem to be way more triggered than them.
@@aleksandrasuso2043 Nice recursion trick, I refute her assertion underscoring how she's making a general statement self referential then you steal that and apply to me but your logic is flawed. I didn't refute her by using myself as a case study as she did. She's emotional because she took Peterson's claim personally, hence her self- reference.
@@johnnyBrwn Mansplaining at its finest. I still don't get what's wrong with sharing a personal story on a RUclips video, considering that the person never even undermined any of the points made by Peterson.
Over and out.
Find what makes you happy, it may be children, it may be freedom, it may be love and it maybe just loving yourself (good place to start though). As a women who is 41, with children, a decent corporate career, and a psychologist, I still need marriage and children to be an opportunity but I am not ready as yet. I want the opportunity but not at the loss of anything I have now. We all have our weighting of priorities in life. Find what yours are and lean in. I get terrified of missed opportunities, and guess what, that's both sides of this coin for me. But every choice and fork in the road will have both opportunities and consequence, we must bravely go into each one. Just mustering up the courage to make the decision.
I love being childfree but we're all different. Respect to parents and childfree people.
Isn't childless correct? Like you don't call homeless people home free... Asking cos eng not my native.
@@kiroshki I've mostly heard "childfree" so I think that's the widely used term
@@kiroshki But you day lactose free for lactose intolerant. Childless is general. Yes, childfree people are childless. But childfree adds meaning. They are free of children, because children would be a bab choice for them, a burden.
@@kiroshki childfree is the term used for people choosing not to have kids. If you search in Google you will find a lot about it
@@kiroshki Not the same :) Childfree means they are free of children. They are not less of anything, in fact having children would make their life lesser. Homeless people mostly tend to want homes but struggle to access them, hence the home*less* part. Homeless people can also call themselves nomads, gypsies etc. They crave the freedom of no fixed abode so they would be deemed, in a way, homefree ...just different terminology is used.
being 30 and childless is FINE. Too many trauma filled broken homes
Exactly. I love Jordan for lots of reasons and agree with 80%+ of what he says, but will never agree with his Christians puritanical views. Any hint of "a woman's life/essence is her motherhood/having a family, and if she doesn't have one by 30/40, then her life is meaningless." -puke-
I envisioned myself having kids.
But I went through a bit of trauma in childhood. I was depressed most of 20s.
I am in my 30s, never had a relationship.
I think I will be single forever.
I don't want history repeating itself, whatever that means.
I think I am OK. I have gone through the stages.
I am no longer angry.
I am moving on.
@@YaYousef5 I agreed. That is a gross opinion of what a human being’s self worth. I thought he was an atheist…
@Bak women and men are not the same men are designed to be alone women are not
no it’s not, listen closely to jordan.
Unfortunately, my husband and I are infertile. We've tried to conceive for 11.5 years. I have a sister and lots of friends over 30 in the same boat. Many of us started trying in our early to mid twenties. 1 in 6 couples are infertile. So while some of this is caused by people choosing not to have children, there is also a rise in infertility.
What country are you from?
@@honkhonk6443 USA
Did you take hormonal birth control throughout your teen years? Are you vegan? Not asking to be offensive. Asking out of genuine curiosity. I'm so sorry that you're in this position. I can't even imagine.
I would go to a Traditional Chinese Medicine practice and see what they can do for you. They have herbs and acupressure that can help with infertility.
Not to be glib, but if you're wanting kids, there are plenty of opportunities for adoption and tax and other governmental benefits to help with costs.
I am a high achieving lawyer and I was told from a young age that a woman had to be independent, resourceful and successful - in order to be free from dependancy on a male spouse. It was the best advice I received. I went on to have a child in my late thirties and he has grown to be an all rounder. I am not sure of the analysis by Prof Peterson which is largely from a personal perspective without any supporting data. Why was the question raised in the first place - there was an underlying expectation that women had to have children before thirty. Who decides this figure for women? Not all women want to be career women; not all women want to be mothers; some women want to be career women and mothers - and the latter poses the greatest challenge for most institutions - which was not acknowledged in this discussion at all. In fact, it Is used against career women - the moment they have children - they are in some sort of disposal heap. So get real and start understanding the true challenges that women face - and that there isn't one single path for women out there
@RyanClone
That not all people want the same things. Did you not read her post?
@RyanClone
Just check out the childfree subreddit. Filled with people who don’t want to have children. You apparently know what they want better than they do? 😋
My parents were my children so I'm good thanks! I'm 30 and done raising my parents. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my life.
Same
You cant have kids any ways, so you are excused. Women have difficulty conceivi g after 30
@@ShowBizJunkie
My cousin had her son at 38. Doesn’t make a difference in this thread, of course, as she already stated she doesn’t want kids. 😋
@LucareonVee Just becuz your cousin had a child at 38, it does not prove me wrong. History AND biology are here to support my point. Throughout the world and in the east, mothers start worrying about their girl's marriage and start making an effort towards it.
Thankfully my sister got married early after graduation. She raised 4 beautiful kids. All adult now and off to their own lives. Now she is completing a biotechnology course which will give her a good job. She has the best of both worlds now.
@@ShowBizJunkie
You said above that she can’t have children now that she’s 30. I can understand you saying that she could have more trouble conceiving, but “can’t”… no, that’s just not true. 😋
And hey, good to hear your sister seems to be getting what she wanted out of life. Just accept that not everyone wants the same. I can’t even stand the thought of raising one child, let alone 4. 😉
I find Japan fascinating in this sense. Due to their cultures emphasis on education, they're about a decade or two ahead of us when it comes to this issue. Herbivore men didn't just appear from thin air, they were reaction to broad society changes.
You're already beginning to see the same thing in the west. Women, generally speaking, don't date down, so in order to compete with, and outpace, women who are make the same as, or in some cases even more than, them men need to put in even more time and effort. A lot of younger men just don't want to sink 70-80 hours a week into work just to pull in a marginally higher paycheque, all for the sake of getting a girlfriend or wife they'll never see because they're too busy working.
@@starrisesky dont bring rich celebrities into this. They don't have the same constraints as 99% of the other people
@@starrisesky Clearly this is a general rule, also if you marry before you carry this is usually not a problem.
@@starrisesky Which is why it's so rare for women to date down. There are a few exceptions of course, there is to practically everything, but it holds true for the vast majority.
Should probably also make a distinction between casual dating and a committed relationship.
Dating down means less education and financial earnings, statistically, black women date down at high rates. Anecdotally I have seen bw date/marry down and end up single mothers. Even though I love Chris Williamson's podcast I think there is definitely a cultural aspect of the show that does not include women like myself. I do not think the answer to the childless problem is asking women to date down.
Ye what is the point in having kids and family if i cant be with them
People who feel they have to do what society expects are either scared or can’t think for themselves. Do what’s right for you.
I bet you can't tell the difference between society and genetic need for human survival..
@@joshknight8973
The survival of any species requires members who procreate and those who don’t. We have 8 billion people on the planet. That number needs to go down.
@@joshknight8973 we have too many people as is, willbe just fine
@@lillianp-yj6yx It takes 80 years for all generations to die and 40 years to make enough children to replace them. Will be just fine if people keep reproducing.
@@lillianp-yj6yxno it won’t! When all those people start to get old and there is not a young generation in a sufficient number to be the work force and keep the economy going. Those who have no children and no money to pay for private retirement, then we will have a big problem!
It’s hilarious to me that two men (who will never have to deal with the trauma or stress of carrying a baby) talk about being child free as if it’s a bad thing.
maybe it's actually better when men talk about it. So it's not all about trauma or other victimhood.
@@paulb7207 yeah no, for sure it's not. Men are not in a position to decide if not having kids is a bad thing or not. They are literally not qualified.
@@paulb7207 No it's better when wome talk about it. Women are the ones who carry children, so the men's opinion on childless women do not matter at all.
You missed what she was saying @@paulb7207
@@paulb7207 Incorrect. Since they can't get pregnant, their opinions of childless women are not relevant.
I honestly just think that it is a combination of life being less and less affordable and the fact that more and more people are coming to the realization that having and raising kids isn't the end all be all goal of a fulfilling life.
It never was. People just had no birth control, hence the high number of pregnancies.
@@zuzanazuscinova5209 so ban birth control
@@zuzanazuscinova5209 exactly people act like everyone wanted to have tons of kids before but there was barely any choice for most people given their was no birth control
@@Coastpsych_fi99 and you forget that a lotta people just go along to get along. peer pressured to have a family.
Well what happens when there isn't enough young people to support the retired population?
Please check out how many childfree by choice women are happy - there are plenty of women who are 50 and do not regret at all not having a family.
Define "happy"
@@Friggsdottir satisfied, content, without losing identity,sleep and with a fulfilling life full of friends and no depression, ever. = Happy
Thats ironic because stats actually show that that age group of childless women is the least happy out of any other demographic at all.
@@lucilla97 keep telling yourself that then. Are these the women who are so “happy” with their decision that they just have to go write articles about how happy they are? Doesnt seem like something an actual content person would do
@@xhaanfilms2479 where are all those articles written by childless women? I had never seen any
It’s hard to find decent people these days. I’ve read a lot of comments of men blaming women and women blaming men but the reality is that society is sick and it’s hard for anyone looking for a genuine connection to find someone in the age of tinder and hook up culture.
80% of men are not even engaging in hookup culture so there you go
@@sleeper9638 just because it's easier for women to participate in hook up culture doesn't mean that we all do. you're just going to deepen the divide if you keep blaming women for society's problems. complaining about women in a RUclips comments section isn't going to help you get a date either. I'm in my early 20s and none of my friends sleep around. All in committed relationships or looking for a committed relationship. Lots of good women out there. Maybe if you change your attitude, you'll find one.
@@natashaw3244 Stop projecting your own singleness on me. I never blamed anyone, I just pointed out a basic fact and you go projecting your own problems and behaviours onto me. If all your friends are in relationships and you're not then it sounds like you're the one that needs an attitude change
@@fruitybubble3591 I came under her comment? What does that mean?
make the search without hypergamy.... the options will expand a whole lot
Why are men discussing this? They don’t give birth, mom raise the kids, moms have to quit work and take financial losses when they age. Most men just make the babies and often don’t stay once they are born. Single moms , lack of child support, having to work , having to pay daycare, and then not dating etc are all apart of this scenario. These videos guilt tripping women over not having kids need to end. Not to mention lots of women die in childbirth or have complications.
Yeah lots of women end up physically disabled for life after only giving birth to one kid and sometimes their vagina tears all the way to their anus when giving birth naturally, they have a hard time with holding in poop or pee and yet women still get shamed for not birthing naturally or for having a C-section
I’m sorry but no man is worth ruining my body and risking getting disabled, dying for they often leave women to be single moms anyways the majority of them don’t even help around with kids at all, if they helped around it would be nice but majority are of them don’t and put all the responsibility on the mother
As a man, I will always say that it’s never my business what women do with their bodies. Unfortunately, it seems that most in my sex are unwilling to give up power over others.
I was raised by a single mom. My dad abandoned us when I was 11 and it destroyed us. My mother dated 2 other guys after my dad and has now been single for over 10 years. I can tell you from witnessing it firsthand that no woman should have to raise and support women alone. These men aren’t trying to shame or put down women. They are trying to articulate very prominent issues in our society and they have just as many videos discussing the shortcomings and problems with men. Men and women want to be happy, but we can only be happy when we overcome our trauma and fear of the opposite sex
@vickiesorenson2383: What a toxic comment, "mom raise the kids", "moms have to quit work and take financial losses". "Men just make the babies and often don't stay once they are born". You should be ashamed of yourself.
Can we also look at men who abandon their families? Can we talk about why this is SO common?
Verdade! Isso acontece demais.
The women either select poor quality men or they drive away high quality ones. It's not really that deep.
And can we talk about divorce laws who are so incredibly risky for men that they would never take the risk of losing everything?
@@rusty1859 Oh yes of course! Everything is still women's fault. Yet 1 in 4 children live in a household with absent fathers. This is a bigger issue than women selecting poor quality men. Just like 50% of women in there 30's being childless can not be explained by just one thing. Stop being a dimwit.
Great point. And why they refuse to co-parent equally? Why do they offer the bare minimum or nothing?
I'm a 23 year old male, and a senior undergrad in college. My wife is 21 and 2 months pregnant. Was not planned, but we are very excited and a little anxious. Thank you Jordan, for offering your tools of wisdom. Your work has helped me become the man I need to be for my new family.
And of course, thanks Chris. Love the show. Keep up the great work.
Congratulations. I am also 21 year old woman, want same but finding a man is difficult for me
You are lucky to have become a husband and a father at a young age. God bless you and your family!
@Alicia Brady agreed, college is wildly overrated, now more than ever. It just happened to be the right fit for me. I am a STEM major so I can more or less avoid the garbage coming out of university humanity departments.
I'm always telling my little sister to go to a trade school instead.
dang I'm almost 23 i could not imagine actually being married at 23 never mind a kid on the way hell if i get married before 35 that would be a big achievement
Congratulations.
My God... if women didn't want to have babies before watching this video they are going to be less likely to now. Shiver.
having Kids are waste of time and energy, do job till your 70 and then have fun with retirement 👍
. I’m 32 and my mother had me at 40. She tells me I have plenty of time to conceive. I am not sure I want a child but I also wouldn’t put it completely off the table with my partner. I feel like he’s putting the fear of god into me when I watch these videos.
@@tessamarie8698 What you said makes no sense, why would women be paid more just because they're women?
Yep. The more I watched this type of content the more I become certain children are not for me. I’ve always been vigilant about birth control and looking into being sterilised. Would love to hear his wife’s perspective. Its easy to want kids when you don’t get pregnant, give birth or have to give up your career.
@@Coastpsych_fi99well the overarching point of these videos is that eventually the shiny career kinda loses it's novelty and appeal. And when that inevitably happens for some women, they find it's too late to turn back the clock. It's not pleasant and I don't wish that on anybody. Some ppl truly aren't for the parenting life. Either way, know yourself.
I'd rather regret not having children in the future.
I am 48 and have never felt maternal. I didn’t fight the urge to have children in pursuit of a career, I just never felt the urge. I lead a happy and fulfilled life. A bigger mistake would have been to cave into societal pressures, and have a child because ‘that’s what women do’ I meet a lot of people who should probably never have become a parent. There are enough people having children for it not to matter if I don’t. I too have witnessed old people who have effectively been abandoned by their kids, and their sadness is crushing. I believe in freedom of choice as much as freedom of speech. You don’t tell me how to live my life, and in return I won’t tell you how to live yours.
beautiful
"I meet a lot of people who probably never should have become a parent" all of this 100%.
So having kids is a bad thing? You people are weird
@@carolcity1919 no it’s a choice
@@carolcity1919 Nah, it's the people who can't understand that not everyone wants or values the same things in life that are weird.
It’s also getting more difficult for couples to get pregnant due to endocrine disrupting compounds in our daily lives.
@@just_me6392 tons.
@@just_me6392 Andrew Huberman is probably a good start for literature. He has podcasts on RUclips that you can watch and learn a lot from.
Not only that but due to many plastics and other chemicals getting into our foods certain health issues are becoming more common. Testosterone levels has been abnormally dropping for years. Lots of stress out on people decreases fertility in both sexes
@@just_me6392 Infertility rate is increasing drastically on the Imperial core, don't know why that is the case but the decrease of testosrone is in effect as well.
I think the birth control they give a lot of women is going to accidentally make like 25% of them barren. You should read the side effects of those arm implants they get. I was worried for the future of like every girlfriend I’ve ever had.
I would have loved to have had kids but never wanted to do it without a reliable, faithful husband.
Thank you. Ditto. JP doesn't seem to consider that some of us women haven't found someone suitable....
@@LittleMissHoop JP hasn't considered much. His views on women are plain shallow.
I belive he married his teenage girlfriend so he couldn't possibly relate to the minefield that exists for women simply finding a suitable, reliable male mate of good conscience and integrity as he's surrounded by a sea of very lost sycophantic men as religious organisations have left voids in men who don't fit the apex of capitalistic achievement. I believe he does have compassion and insight and appears quite an interesting lecturer but he lacks so much insight when it comes to what a woman might choose in life. The majority of people would ideally like a mate, whether male or female and rich relationships (whether this includes children or not but the intensity and bonds of having children is undoubtedly amazing yet also incredibly exhausting and stressful). Why for example might he not have said to his female lawyers, you can always adopt children and experience the beauty of child rearing in this way, and have you considered where you could apply your highly sought after skills to careers or your own company where you aren't working to exhaustion? Isn't that a rational argument? Or does everything in his narrative always lead to marriage (where the statistics are 50% in Divorce!). How is that rational?
@@LittleMissHoop He covers that and a lot of why. But hypergamous tendencies and having the deck stacked are preventing a lot from finding men who can be better in enough ways to be acceptable. Irony that hypergamy dies on the hill of entitled demands, love seeing it.
@@LittleMissHoop And just out of curiosity, do you really think you haven't had a lot of good options? The market abounds for young women, just justifying choices subjectively prevents a lot of good options from being taken while seeking best. It's a self inflicted wound in most cases imo.
Whether people decide to stay child-free or become parents,as any choice in their lives ,is their and only their business. There are also different factors to consider in the matter: 1. Financial security,2. Emotional intelligence and maturity,3. Health and mental issues,4. Your support system ,5. What type of romantic partner you have and if you are single or not ,6. The environment,7. The ability to be responsible for another human being,8. Type of education and career you have,9. If you and/or your partner have problems with fertility or not,to name a few . It's true that having children is in the name of continuing the human race ,but it's wrong and unnecessary to force everyone to be parents. It's situational and delicate topic and it depends not only in the choices you make for yourself but also what kind of luck you have and the circumstances - you can't have control (at least not full) over the result. Everyone has their own path and battle
This describes my journey regarding education, career and motherhood. I was bless to conceive at 29 and am now the mother of three precious boys. I really wish someone had helped me understand when I was growing up how important, valuable, beautiful and powerful the role of mother is.
It’s not necessarily for every woman or man on this earth. Petersen insinuates that it is and this is arrogant
@@margaretcampbell2681 No he doesn't. He has, over multiple podcasts, RUclips videos and lectures stated that these are generalisations and that there is a great deal of diversity not just between but also within genders. Apologies Margaret, but your post is simply not fair.
@@margaretcampbell2681 Sure, if you're too preoccupied taking of yourself where you wound't be a good parent then don't have kids. But saying no to kids simply for the fact that you're the product of your generation where kids are divorced from sex, well, then you're rather pathetic.
@@margaretcampbell2681 Almost as if reproduction is the main purpose of a human life 🤔
Have you used your power to secure your economical status as well as that of the kids' - in case of the worst happening?
The mindset of career above all is so easy to fall prey to.
In my twenties I vowed I would never marry and definitely NOT have children. But as the years went on, exactly as the doctor describes, my career did not provide enough meaning or happiness. I was desperately lonely even though I had many friends.
I am thankful to say that a charming man changed my mind and we are now married with four children. Thank God.
Lovely , and I’m glad you had more than one child . I have 2 and they are amazing children , why didn’t I have 4 , I wish I had now …..this one child or no children in 30’s generation is very sad …we are not China with a one child policy ……have more children and God bless you …..in fact you are blessed already with your young family and enjoy every moment with them .
I'm male, in my 50's , great career but no kids. Life is empty. I don't recommend going the childless route.
@@schmingusss yeah but if you have your stuff together and your body, confidence and paper straight you can date a woman in her 20s or 30s. Time works In a man's favor. That's your choice to remain single.
@Marie Baker ??
"And the Lord God said, *It is not good that the man should be alone;* I will make him an help meet for him.
19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, *This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh:* she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24 *Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."*
@Marie Baker God does not tell us to follow humans, but he does say we need to be with other people. Yes, plenty of Christians are terrible at actually following what they say they believe, but that's just the way people are. Everybody does wrong, but we still need to be in community with each other. Living for people and living with people are very different.
I was always encouraged to reserve sex for marriage, and to avoid having children until I was married. I’m still
not married and I don’t want to raise kids on my own even though I want them. I think some of us just haven’t found suitable partners.
you are one of a kinda, cause a lot of your peers are chasing the seed of someone who is not gonna commit
That’s a HUGE part of it.
For me it's that I don't see it as being financially possible.
They’re too expensive
Children are not commodities. They are people who will suffer in this world and die. That is not life-affirming; that is immoral.
what's wrong with being unmarried and childless?! people should do what fits them..
I think the real issue is that only around 10 percent did it on purpose. Child free by choice. Based on large scale surveys.
Sometimes it’s as simple as luck. I never found the right partner, and that is unlucky. I’m glad I didn’t bring a kid into the world with the wrong man.
This. 31 F. Same here.
Same! I never found a partner worth having kids with. Then at 30 years old my kidneys started failing very fast. That option is off the table for me now. I feel like it is a no win situation. I get criticism for being childless and told i will die miserable. Yet, I'd also get criticism if i had made the choice to have a child knowing my partner wasnt going to be a good parent. I'm fine with my life. I have friends and family that i enjoy spending time with. I am financially comfortable. I like JP but i wish he would understand its not so black and white.
If you're so picky that you're eliminating yourself from the gene pool, then you're too picky for your own good.
Same. 37.
You listened to all the feminists 😂😂😂 enjoy growing old with your cats.
You overlooked all the good men over the years. This is your karma.
What about childhood trauma? Women aren't expected to have kids young and those with trauma might be delaying it or choosing not too. Society needs to be talking about child abuse and healing trauma.
Society insists on having kids young so you don't come to your senses and realize that having kids is for society's benefit, only. No one asks to be born.
We've got overflowing prisons to prove pregnancy is a joke to most!!
Exactly very good point of view.
50.1% got trauma? 😐
You’re talking about a minority not the rule
I'm male, 59, childless and single. Having experienced life being childless and single for so long, I can guess a woman might have a lifestyle similar to mine. For me, and a lot of people, this is my best lifestyle.
Single forever , 47, child free and loving it ! Happy Xmas 🎅🏻
I'm male, 59, happily single and childless!! I wouldn't change anything I did in my past!! 🍷🍷🍷😎😎
Male, 41, boyfriend living with me, and no children. 🍻
You have no idea what you’re missing but that’s your choice. Children can be a blessing or curse however.
@@dilipanthonypinto1620 That's a risk I wasn't willing to take. 🤔🤔💀💀💀💀💀
Yep happy to be part of the movement. Childfree and solo by choice.
😎🍻
Yes!!!! Women are so much more than mothers. But this kind of old white men will never get it. They will hold on to the idea of sexism and biologism until their death.
That’s Horrible. You aren’t doing society a favor
@@lv3575 And how does a person having an unwanted child benefit society …?
As a woman who just turned thirty I feel totally screwed over. I went to college got the 9-5 and now I’m stuck. Even with my partner’s income I can’t stop working due to student loan debt. I can’t afford a baby or taking time off work and my clock is running out. I am beyond pissed that I was allowed to sign for a loan at the age of 17 that would decide not only my life but my future child’s (or lack there of) life.
It is a tragedy that college was pushed so hard on my generation rather than trade school or even no school. I would be living off more money if I worked minimum wage at McDonald’s than I am now with over 20$ per hour because it all goes to student loans. I was 17, a kid and signed away my life.
Dang I didn't go to college and I make 17 an hour. I support my son and me on my income alone, have a house half paid off, no government assistance, no debt other than house.
I went to community College for a sec and quickly realized that thr boomers had turned college into pretty much a scam so I left
Seethe more roastie
If I ever have children, my advice to them will be to only choose college if they want to be a doctor/engineer/lawyer/scientist. Otherwise go to a trade school.
It’s $20 not 20$.
We got married when my wife was 29. She had our first child at 33 and our second at forty. The first was very easy, but four subsequent miscarriages were painful which is why there was a seven year gap. The second child was a difficult pregnancy too.
Evolution has done this to prevent kids with birth defects from being born. This is actually a good thing.
My mother had me at 39, and I was the second and only successful pregnancy out of six attempts.
My father remarried at 36. They tried 2-3 years to have a child. Suffering major loss. Including losing a child at 6 months. They were eventually successful in having my brother. The toll it took on her mentality was devastating.
As a 33 yr guy I'm not married and don't have kids but I can say that my mom had me when she was my age and her mother had her when she was 40yr however a few years after my mom had me she tried again but miscarried and required a hysterectomy so she was never able to try again so I'm their only kid other than though I'd say that everybody is different some women can have kids older and some can't there's no way to know for certain but I think a lot of people my age " the millennials" don't care about marriage, kids and family etc it's just doesn't matter to them and certainly doesn't have any value to them.
@@fraserfir19 you are so right. I agree! Women who have kids older live longer that is why they can have kids older. The healthier woman and man, the chances of having a healthy baby increases. The women in my family have had kids in their 40s (one had her last one at 49!). But the men were healthy too. And we are mixed genetically from two continents for several generations, so I wonder if that has had a role. Women have always had kids till they stopped their cycles. Just we lived shorter lives then. Also, it is expensive to have families now. This is common in all developed countries. Not sure why we are all shocked. It has been like this for a few decades.
Why are childfree women such a problem for some people? Get over it. Worry about your own life.
Kkkkk because human life has infinite value and every inch of our budies was made to have child. When someone doesnt want, had some really bad going on
Exactly 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
@@israeluct7420some people are even born infertile so that isn’t right lol 😂 plus there’s 8 billion people in the planet now. If half of population decide to not have kids there’s still tons of people to have kids anyways
@@israeluct7420Tell us about how it's like to be impregnating women daily since you were 12. Do you have more then 1000 kids by now, right?
Because of the vast numbers of them. That influences the demography of a country in many ways and NONE are positive for that country.
Look, I know most Americans have had a very bad school experience. But for heaven's sake, before you make such comments, can't you just search the internet for the obvious answer? You might want to do it now. Or stay pretty much very ignorant indeed.
There are a LOT of reasons why I don’t want a child. But one of the biggest reasons is that if the man decides to leave, I will not only be stuck as a single mother, but I’ll be blamed for it 100%.
I don’t want to risk becoming a single mother.
In my country (🇫🇮) It's expensive to have a baby. Most women now get children after turning 30, because we want to have a good education and career, so we can support our children in the best possible way.
It’s not because your country is expensive or something. It’s because the culture in your country is broken to such an extent that you all put career over life. There is no such thing as expensive to have babies. By your logic, people in the global south would stop reproduction altogether.
Too expensive because when you have women competing for mass jobs with men then society waters down a single parent incomes power so both spouses must work to be above poverty and kids are then not possible or are raised by electronic devices, left to their own, gangs and then we are surprised when they grow up warped or school shooters….
@@neerand there's nothing wrong in having babies after 30. Women want to go to school too, so what? We want a good career to support our families.
@@gidi7663 It’s not wrong. But that doesn’t mean it is right too. I am not blaming your country alone. Sorry If I made bad choice of words. But the whole life we all are living irrespective of countries is to some extent similar and most of us are pursuing a materialistic life. I am also a victim of such mindset. We all have been informed that career should be the first priority when the process of procreation at the right time should be our top priority. During our late 20s and whole 30s, we think we could conquer the world if we make the right career move. But things go south when we hit 30s and life seems so late and we tend to run against the time. The whole career thing and the life process is so upside down that many of us are suffering from all kind of depression in one way or the other.
@Número uno indeed
There are many other factors that contribute to why women don’t want children and it isn’t just because they want to become career obsessed boss babes.
Exactly.
100%. I really don't understand why a lot of men consider themselves to be authorities on the female rationale that informs the reproductive choices we make.
Correct. I don't put my life into my career. I'd rather retire early and spend my life on cruise control helping people along the way.
@@joy5191 Yeah all men are so bad 😡
@@joy5191 More rights for women, trans and everyone other than men, yes who's with me 🖐
All my friends are having kids. They all seem pretty miserable and ask me when I’m going to join in their misery. They say it’s not fair that I get to be happy.
They made their beds. 😉
How there misery connected to having children? People with no children haves mental breakdown in 60s , just look at reasons for suside of people above 50s.
@@alfabeta6817
Many people have mental breakdowns for a multitude of reasons. Prove that there’s an actual connection. 😘
@@LucareonVee Why should I?
@@LucareonVee Humans are social animals and Family is a ultimate social connection, no one cares about you after 50s except your children.
I am in my 40's and have 2 kids under 12 I work from home and take care of the home. I can't handle everything. Some always has to give. I have not enough money or I am not around. It makes you think having kids is a mistake because men enjoy 10 times more freedom and no guilt
So, the father is not around to do his part. That sucks!
But when he abandoned his children, he is guilty alright! Men ought to fully support their families, instead of being so selfish.
I've been working 40 to 60 hours a week for too long. However, I do it out of necessity. Some women really do get a choice, but not all of us do.
Exactly.
Is it really necessary or just necessary to sustain the lifestyle you've grown accustomed to?
@@Opethfeldt i think it's a case by case basis but i do believe alot of these people could have kids and not work but really don't want to do it because they think everything has to be Harvard fancy when not realizing you can literally get just as a good an education at a Community College that will be far far cheaper all Harvard and Yale are is just brands they have existed a very long time and are just an expensive brand
Stop lying to yourself. You DO have a choice.
@@Opethfeldt She has grown accustom to eating and having a roof over her head. So entitled. XD
Had my first child when I was 27 and my second when I was 28. I honestly wish I would have started sooner. I am one of the lucky ones who graduated without college debt, same as my husband. I worked very hard I college to get scholarships, I had several jobs during the school year and summers, and my parents helped. I feel very deeply for the people I know with heaps of college debt. Honestly, even with having no debt, I don't find it worth the cost. I reconnected with my future husband in college who I actually met in high school. Beyond that, I wish I would have decided on a simpler life that would have allowed me to stay home with my kids. Something happened by going to college that led me to believe I need stuff to be happy. Now, I feel like I am paying for that decision with hours of my life working a job I don't particularly like when I could be spending more time with my kids.
Yea I figured that out before I had a kid at 39. Plenty of time to save cash and make dumb decisions. Buying shit is worse mistake. Cause then you are stuck at your job.
27/28 is not old to have kids. Would you have been ready at 21?
ngl it's interesting to see people think 27 is old when my Mother had me she was 34 and 36 when my sister was born
You lucky you got someone waiting before it becomes harder to make one. I've read a story about someone who had kept her eggs in storage only to find out they're no longer viable years later when she finally decided to have kids.
@@kurtpunchesthings2411 We're talking from the standpoint of having kids. 27 is still not too old to have kids, but it gets harder for many women by their 30's. Many will not be able to conceive or keep a pregnancy by 36.
So I don’t get what the problem is. Are we supposed to reproduce for sake of reproduction or do our best to create prerequisites for raising a child in a healthy environment with the right person? How many women who had a child in their 20s are good at parenting and raising a moral human? How many rushed marriages have ended in divorce by 30 leaving kids unhappy? How many marriages between incompatible partners in their 20s have resulted in traumatized children who have grown into mentally damaged adults later in life?
Why are all women/men expected to have a child? Why is an individual's worth equated to his/her reproductive ability? There are people with questionable qualities who should not have a child at all. So why do we promote this idea of conceiving as if it's not an ethically responsible act but a biological milestone? Maybe designing a test/exam to allow people to have a child would be a more sound argument because that might effectively weed out 70% of population.
Yes I agree.. we need baby mama's and a guy can pay for it. Many women are not equipped to raise children. Raising 6 kids takes same time and attention as raising 1 kid. It's waste of resources for every women in society to have 1 child instead multiple men impregnate a hot chick and pay welfare. It is best for society.. 👍
Yes, eugenics. Let's sterilize those who fail the test
@@briggy4359 Not eugenics. Don’t distort my words, please. I’m speaking about people working on their mental and emotional health and developing parenting skills before having a child.
@@EpistemicFomo yeah, people can choose to do that now if they wish.
The issue you see is that some people just want to make a baby regardless of preparedness.
Its animal intuition.
@@EpistemicFomo quote: "maybe designing a test/exam to ALLOW people to have a child would be a more sound argument because that might effectively WEED OUT 70% OF THE POPULATION."
You're telling me that allowing certain people to reproduce doesn't inherently imply DISALLOWING others? What about effectively stopping 70% of the population from reproducing?
You must be a Bill Gates alt account.
When financial stability is uncertain, some people simply prefer not to bring children into the world to suffer.
Poor economic times are not a new thing. One can always say "right now" is not a good time to have children. Financial stability is never guaranteed.
Have children People! Love them and teach them your wisdom so they can carry on when you're gone!
They need more servants in the coming years.
ppl had kids during hungers world wars colonization etc
our generations just lazy entitled and dont care
@@dennisdill5771 It's not just economic failure. Where are they supposed to live when the planet keeps heating up?
I'm so looking forward to this interview, the last one you did with Jordan Peterson was my favorite interview of his ever. Beautiful lighting, audio, and setting for this. It's been a joy to watch you grow and climb the competence hierarchy
Yup it looks like a movie
*dominance hierarchy 😉
Also look up JP with Theo Von, if you haven’t seen it yet, he really gets JP laughing. But I agree, CW interview of JP is what introduced me to his channel….and he does the best interviews out there….just clear, concise interviews that are easy to follow and enjoy.
@@anneb889 I loved that one
@Women's rights was a Mistake reinvading czechoslovakia soon?
I mean, I spent most of my life suffering, I think that putting a child into this sick world would be making them a huge disservice. So every time I hear people say "not having children will make you miserable", well at least the children won't, and that's more important. I think that to these people the children are just a tool to achieve something.
Finally found someone in this comment section who said it.
I grew up in an environment where i felt like i did not matter, like i was an inconvenience. I refuse to bring a child into this world just to feel the same way i did and still do
your outlook on life is heartbreaking. I dont think having kids is the answer to anything, but i do hope you find joy in the world. The world has sickness in it, but it's not just sick. There's plenty of positive in it. We wouldn't appreciate the good if it weren't for the crap.
indeed! and yet when kids are not what they thought it is they are angry cause they cant undo what they did....+ angry at people who chose different path
so angry that they try so hard to change their minds. How sad
I’m the same. I don’t want to put kids in this word to suffer. I rather just raising cats and I’m very happy with that ❤
I never wanted children. Then when I got married my husband also didn't want to have children. When I was 34 I felt an overwhelming desire to have a child but my husband wasn't ready. Fast forward 2 years later and my husband asked me why we didn't have children. So, we decided to start a family. It was the best decision I ever made. My son filled a void in my life I didn't know I had. Especially, since I wasn't considered by many to be maternal. Becoming pregnant and having a child is a life changing experience. Fast forward to the present moment and we are expecting our 2nd child in May. I will say that parenthood shouldn't be rushed into if you aren't ready to commit. Parenthood is an extreme joy that nothing in life can compare to but it is also the hardest life journeys you'll ever embark on. So, be ready to fully commit and have a partner who'll support you on this journey. You'll find its one of the most fufilling things you've ever done.
by nature women have a maternal instinct, you can't ignore it, glad it's working out well, sadly too many people are NOT FIT for or will ever be ready for parenting, why? they did get good role modeling to do this growing up, we have too many children growing up in single parent homes, they don't get role modeling for marriage or parenting, they often become dysfunctional adults with kids later -- not good for them or society
fast forward to now and no one cares. then fastforward some more and i still whipe my a** with your story.
Children are not things that you can "fill the void in you with". That's deplorable, narcissistic mindset! Poor kid, will be eff'd up with a parent like you.
"Don't rush into parenthood if you aren't ready to commit."
At 34 you were already leaving it late. People more so than ever are really getting carried away with arrested development. Wasting so much of their 20's on vacuous nonsense that they like to call fun. Only to approach family with some poorly understood notion of settling down.
@@ThermicLight, you make a mistake. It is not "arrested development", it's called using brains instead of your crotch. Intelligent, well-educated people do not breed- they have much better things to do that deal with endless puke and sh*t. never-ending temper tantrums, sleepless nights and idiotic Play-doh.
Becoming a mother is a life sentence for better or for worse.
Fathers can just walk away any time they please.
A lot of women don't want to be single mothers which is what happens to most mothers.
"Harsh reality?" Dont threaten me with a good time 😂
😎🍻
Ikr, so hilarious to think that we are scared to be single and childfree
👌😆
There are more options than just 80 hour workweeks or children. Life can be so much more
nahh u would look much cuter taking care of my seeds
@@lordgreed1 comments like these is why dudes keep saying having kids is so great. Y'all don't even take care of your own spawn. Being a dad sounds great indeed 👍🏻
Better to not have children, than risk raising them in poverty and debt. Strong career or no career, we all work non-stop for low pay while inflation is going up
👏🏽👏🏽
It is OK that we Muslims in Canada have 5 to 6 kids per family. We will make up the difference for you.
@@abumuhammad8611 Good luck funding 18+ years for them
@@almamater489 What does that even mean?
@@abumuhammad8611 how are you going to make those 18 children’s lives good? Lol good luck. European families have less children, but at least they can afford everything.