A "new place". That is so fitting right now as the narc I've been involved with did a 180 on me and is now buying a house with the new/old/new again supply.
@@TheHighwinder trying to heal not looking for labels found my ethreal hope and corpreal sense. Got married in less than 3.948 months or really a few weeks from meeting this acquaintance in all mental zeal. After much therapy and true prayer im asking myself am i the nark married to an other personality. Was young in military. Very naive n searching for a friend. Got married through the " god complex". Lost everything my merch my sense my kids my mammals. Now i say.... what part did i play. This is amazing. I hope i can heal soon. 45 yrs old feel like ive lost my whole life
"For I Know the Plans I Have For you," Declares the Lord, "Plans to Prosper you and NOT to harm you, Plans to GIVE you Hope and a Future." Jeremiah 29:11 God HATES abuse! He is a God of Love❤
So true! My narc married me after 3 months and after our honeymoon he started calling me a bitch and the abuse began! I was a child bride leaving a narcissist mother & jumped from the frying pan into the fire. After 16 years I finally left him. I’m now remarried over 26 years to a wonderful Christian man. But between marriages I dated another narc. There are so many narcissists out there, beware😮
I'm so glad I divorced my narcissistic ex, he told me he had to go work a day after our wedding. I was left to celebrate my "marriage" with my sisters. Thank goodness I found the strength to leave.
Marriage is a tricky situation to get stuck in a relationship, especially if it gets abusive. It gets bad when a child is concieved with a toxic person. Trying getting divorced from a toxic person. It's like going to hell and trying to get back unharmed. Good luck. Thank you Lee 🙏😎
Abso-bloody-lutely, long distance relationship so the red flags were in the distance. He wanted me to sell my house after a year of long distance relationship and wanted me to marry him ASAP. I was going to the next day; but we visited his friends and I heard a lot of lies were told, and that night he tried to put hands on me. I'm from the Eastside of Pontiac, we ALWAYS got protection. 1 and a half years of no contact, surviving and thriving 💪👍💯. Thanks Lee. That's when I found your content.
My ex-fiancé (19yrs older than me) tried to rush me to the alter w/i a few months of knowing me. He lovebombed me with expensive dinners, diamonds, shopping sprees and put me on all his financial stuff. He even tried to take me to DeBeers to buy me something on our first time seeing ea other in person (but I said NO)! After what I now know as Narc rage, I put the breaks on and noticed his patterns. Although I called off the engagement, he chased me for 3yrs or more afterwards until I went full no contact. I would’ve been his 4th marriage! Now, I know why he can get ‘em but can’t keep ‘em. He’s on his 5th marriage.
Can get emmmm but can’t keep em!!! That’s why I tell mine he said stop running- the thing is if I stop running yea you got me but you can’t keep me so why would I even slow down if I know the outcome?
@@MentalHealness Exactly! Once his mask falls off and the thrill is gone, he gets a divorce (it’s always been his exes fault of course) and finds new supply. Quickly. He does not want to be alone.
Before I knew what they were I spent my life on narcs. But the most recent one, told me flat out he was trying to marry me before I saw his baggage. 😱 I was like what 😧 Came right out with it... along with some other BS (so many stories I laugh my ass off about now) His Problem was he didn't know I was actually listening and had already been on my emotional recovery journey. I believed his simple ass and bowed out gracefully and quietly and stayed gone. No ego and no loss on my part 🤷🏾♀️I was grateful to catch it early so the damage was minimal. 🥳 I listen to you all the time tho and it's still trips me out how accurate of a description you give about so many of the behaviors of him. It's reaffirming somehow I guess. I knew I was right... But you really let me know I was right 😅😅😅 Thank you and for all you give!! ❤ And too all of the NARC survivors pushing thru... Stand in your mother father square🤨 because your life depends on it. You are not crazy! They do know what they're doing and they mean every bit of it! Stop giving them the benefit of the doubt! It is not your responsibility to pay for trauma you did not inflict!! And I promise you, you are worth every bit of happiness You dream of having... They just are not built to give it to you! And that is okay🌹Hold close to your chosen spiritual guide & strength! Godspeed 😉
Being with someone who has narcissistic tendencies is actually making me love myself more and looking at all the qualities I have. It did hurt and I was sad I'm also learning what I want and don't want in a partner.
Blind date. Mentioned marriage and babies 3 times Next day forced me to meet his parents by kidnapping me by car. I only agreed to lunch. Refused to go home and kept showing up at my place (stalking). When we had no date scheduled. But because nobody teaches this at the time, and the romcom movies are about guys who stalk and won't take no for an answer, we all (men and women) are trained to believe this unhealthy model of love is good.
And not to mention their parents spoiled them and movies influence us all on many levels it's deeply ingrained in our minds I definitely agree with you on this...and why I'm going to be meditating more OFTEN 😜 to get rid of the subconscious toxicity From indirect and direct sources...
I used to have a friend (may he rest in peace) that could predict what my x narc spouse would say and do EVERY TIME, he gave me such great advise. Of course I ignored all of it cuz I was in "love" Lee you remind me of him and I want to thank you for your insight, it helps me not feel so crazy.
..or moving in together, or having kids. Their fear of abandonment. They trap you like a venus fly trap. It’s like hotel california.. you can check in, but you can never leave
I have cancelled the wedding 5 weeks before the date , thanks God and the narc rage, at that time I still didn't know he was narc , I just understood there was something wrong in his behaviour, than talking with a clever friend of mine , who did some psicology exams at university, she made me notice that maybe he was a covert. Really a kind of dr Jekyll and mr hide
Did you have to pay$$$$$ That’s another thing that we are expected to pay for everything then you are trapped with paying for all the expenses It been going on forever We are losers from the start
@@jonhutchinson2902 lmao at you loser, thinking you are a sharp cookie for ridiculing her English, when it's clear that she has another native language and English is the language she learned as foreign language,most surely - along at least 1 more (min) other second language while your sorry ass can only mock and ridicule - go learn some languages, loser-bully, and along them - some emotional intelligence would greatly benefit you as well! Loser boy puffed up in arrogance over nothing!
@@MentalHealness So should NARCS be with ppl that are used to high levels of neglect or trauma? Seems like it would balance or cancel out some of the emotional stuff?
@@hershekissedno that's just adding to the trauma already there. Should ppl who are traumatised become baggage handlers, no, no for anyone. Ppl should be aware of the different personality types and traits and make conscious decisions before entering a rship... In an ideal world of course
@@Juggz2busy587 ideally, they'd both be seeking treatment, and theoretically they should be equipped to deal with some amount of trauma from prior conditioning. If they loved each other I think it could work. Nobody mentioned baggage handling or whatever you said. Guess you just wanted to be apart of the discussion🤭
Thinking back, I think he only married me because he was afraid I would leave him. During the lovebomb stage, he future faked the promise of us getting married because he knew that’s what I was looking for. 5 1/2 months later I found out he was having an emotional texting affair with his ex-wife from 40+ years ago, who he caught cheating on him. They had been talking and planning about getting back together since me and him started dating. She knew more about me than the FBI. We lasted two years being married. 10 days after our anniversary. I left him.
@@MentalHealness Can you do a segment on why narcissists are cruel when they find out you’re ill or hurt? I was recently hit by a drunk driver and let my ex narc know and oh boy what a nasty response. It was shocking.
I appreciate you Lee, you have given me a point of view that I could not figure out. I crave him constantly, I realize he is not worth it. He was a type of person that put on a mask but I didn't know it till he started ranting and cursing me during our discussions. Your videos help me see things from his point of view, Insane. Now I wish I never met him. It cost me so much but I can redeem his behavior when I Iisten to your point of view, it helps me understand. I called him recently, he didn't answer, thank God, last time I called him, he listened to me for 30 seconds, I was trying to talk to him, he hung up in my face, but check this out, I witnessed him hanging up in his Mom's face before so I figured it was part of their dynamics. Pathetic. I'm working on me but he was an awesome man in so many ways. I can only pray for him at this point, and stop drunk dialing him. Lol. I will evolve.
Yes, you’re right, Lee. It didn’t take long at all after we got married before my narcissist ex showed his true color. He cheated on me, stole from me, mentally abused me, fake discarded me (said he wanted a divorce but never filed it even after I signed the paper), & much more. He believed I would never leave him just because we were married. I divorced his sorry a$$ so fast as soon as I found out he had been cheating on me. He was in disbelief when he got served & got the letter from the court that the divorce was final 6 weeks later. Good riddance!
their morality is different than a "normal" person....we care ---they care only about themselves staying with them confirms you are going to accept what they put you through we think it will get better so hang in there----nope on hope----it never works
All zodiac signs have the potential to be a narc. I know a bunch of Sagittarius; my sister, daughter, nephew, niece, and my adopted brother. Sags are known of all the signs to get alone with just about everyone, fun, very honest, and are laid back people. Yet. My ex fiance was a Sag and a full blown narc. He was a huge jerk!
Lee spreading facts, this is so true, and as a self aware narcissit I was inspired by this channel to start my own here, I am so happy this channel has grown!
I (23) was very young and went very fast with all my also younger narc 21 😮 Did everything too fast and got pregnant and then married 😢 Love my son with my life but all they wanted was his ‘papers.’ Not with him now, but he still doesn’t have his papers 😂
It's true, he wanted to get married and have a baby REAL quickly even though we were fighting so much over nothing. I am still happy that I escaped this misery.
Same, i told my ex i did not want kids, he agreed stating he already has two. 3 months in the relationship, he confessed saying he only agreed to not wanting kids so i wouldn't run away and that he had this entire plan to put alot of babies in me to keep himself attached to me for life. I told him i still wasnt having kids with him because i didnt find him healthy emotionally or mentally. next thing i know, hes forcing me to marry him and moving in with him and his son when that wasnt even the plan. When I would tell him how i didnt feel comfortable moving in with his 20 years old son and him, that it was too soon, he would constantly end the relationship , come back and make demands as a form of control to get his demands met. He is sick in the head and Im glad i escaped
Mine has been in and out of my life for 21 YEARS. He's currently married, with two young children and just contacted me after not hearing from him for 6 years.
they have NO morals--it never changes---time means nothing to them---their minds remain the same---------and I thought 5 years was enough---nope]---still hovering---they are NEVER satisfied God bless you---stay strong
Every single day for 3 years he pressured me to marry him. Oh thank Jesus I didn't. And I'm a Christian..... God doesn't want you to stay in an abusive marriage.
Man this is crazy. That’s how I always felt with my ex. I’m gay but I had never thought of marriage. When I met him he was so bullish about it and I proposed after a year. BUT I purposely had a long engagement because I knew something was weird. He also had two previous failed engagements so that should’ve been a red flag. I felt like a was a character in his play LOL. It’s like he wanted me there in place and he just did whatever he wanted to do. Not about cheating but it can be simple as they want to move freely without being checked, but they all check You if the tables are turned. They absolutely hate accountability.
They turn it off once they feel like they got you period. I asked my ex why he stopped doing things he use to do. He flat out said to me I guess because I got you. Right there I was working towards my exit strategy.
Awesome insight Lee 🙌Marriage for the narc is thus, among other reasons, used as a kind of "trap" because they think that their "beloved" won't abandon them after their broken & unhealed self emerges post-marriage, that is, the self they tried to suppress.
Your intro theme shots are hilarious and great for this channel. Thats how my narc gf acts/thinks she is; like some kinda talk show host intro theme showing her wanna-be mannerisms in action, but from a perspective of how she wants to look to others.
My ex-husband was just like what he's describing. He mentioned that now he had me that he didn't have to make the relationship work anymore. I'm so glad that's over. He put me through way too much.
My Narc thinks he’s so interesting that he told me he wants to write a book about all of his achievements in life. Marine,Bodybuilder, won an mma fight, mvp in HIGHSCHOOL!!?!! He’s 43…I said “so you wanna write a book bc you’re athletic?” These people think they really are so fascinating that people want to read a book about em!!😂😂😂😂
She wanted marriage so bad. 13 years, I refused. People looking at me like "when you gonna marry her?" By like year 6 and I'm like "ain't ready for all at yet!" *Trey from Boyz in the hood voice, lol. But nah I did want to marry her, but I realized there was something up with her, I knew I loved her, but marriage no small thing to me, I told her how I felt about marriage, how I feel like it's like a business contract between two people and there was certain things about her that I wanted her to improve on, and things I wanted to improve on in myself, before doing that, I watched my mom go through 3 horrible marriages where she was the antagonistic person in all three, I don't take that marriage thing lightly, she hated my reasoning but she didn't discard me. So yes, I spent 13 years with a narcissist being boyfriend, girlfriend. Well, I have this to say, before america there was no institution of marriage that is a legally binding contract that comes with a lot of responsibility in this country between 2 people, that's not how our way back ancestors did things. So to me, the way things are, i don't see an issue with putting it off until both people are ready no matter how long it takes, if it cultivates to signing your name to that person you better make sure its right. I stood on my square with her. Things never improved with her and I didn't make the improvements in me so I never committed to a legally binding contract like that, i could have. I ended up being discarded anyways, I didn't want things to end but she found new primary supply source behind my back. And I'm glad I didn't, I'm glad to not have kids with her either. I made the right choice. I wish I didn't spend those 13 years with her but it is what it is, it's a long chapter of my life that is now closed, never married never divorced. Like I've said before us ADHD people are kind of narcissists kryptonite because we don't bend as easy when we stand on certain principles. Other things a narcissist will lead us into some impulsive bs, and we can lead them there too unintentionally. She led me into sexual things i wouldn't normally do, I led her into riding rollercoasters she'd never get on but i convinced her and held her hand through it. Cute, but our relationship was absolutely atomic... the toxicity was otherworldly, she was incredibly manipulative and I caught it every time easily, huge argument. I was incredibly hard headed and absent-minded, narcissists hate it when you do something that looks like gaslighting but you actually forgot you told them something or moved their thing and forgot you did that, huge argument. We weren't good for each other...but the difference is narcissistic people who aren't working on themselves, aren't good for anybody...they do too much taking, they wear people out in a dogish way, i don't ans never done that to anybody, and I don't manipulate people, i hate lying and liars, i hjst got more and more disgusted with her all her stupid lies to me and other people close to her, i got tried of going with her lies when she'd lie to other people who love her, I couldn't stand it anymore.
@Siegefya you summarized my relationship. And this adhd realization is really good. I am so full of anger about my wasted time now , but as you said it is what it is :/ I wish all the best and quick healing for both of us 🫂
@@Siegefya 13 years?? I don't have any respect for narcs, but I don't have any respect for using anyone for 13 years, either. Pretty sure you got alot of benefits from that "relationship" though. Puhleeeeeze
My ex definitely wanted us to get married pretty quickly but luckily, that was one of my boundaries I upheld and we didn't. Because of that, for her, us moving in together was the "goal" and where everything started going downhill. 2 months after our relationship ended, she somehow met someone new and then married the guy the very next year. Our relationship was so abusive and toxic and all this, yet somehow she was able to move that fast into a new relationship no problem 🤔. Meanwhile, 2 years after our breakup, I'm still working on healing myself and not wanting to date for fear of going through another narcisstic relationship
He asked me to get engaged after 2 yrs I said to him like what your never here, I just laughed at him 😂😂 his a complete joke. The relationship was so unstable he kept walking away months at a time come back then go again he never supported me through hard times criticized me & my kids. I'm so glad I didn't fall into this trap his long gone like he don't even exist no more. 👋
This is why I am so terrified to get married. I’ve seen it happen to some of my family members. My ex loved bombed me I was 20 he was 32. Wanted to get married and have kids right away but hadn’t experienced life the way I wanted I’m a free spirit. When I refused the narc rage was nasty smh.
She’s over there having dv situations and getting evicted within a a year of discarding me and her kids! Keep that ish in the 305 Felicia! Feels validating. I have a nice home, good garden and big yard that me and the kids enjoy. They are doing well in school. They finally have a chance at a semblance of normal now that that dumpster fire is out of our lives.
Omg so true.... My tried to rush the relationship. I said no, im not buying a house with you after meeting in 4 months. He said I didn't love him. I waited a year still missed the red flags.
My ex narc dated me and her for 2 years (I just recently found out) . I found out they got engaged in June, married by September (on her birthday) LOL! He bought a house, she sold hers and moved in with him! She thinks he was God sent and I don’t say anything! But I’m glad she knows God cuz she’s gonna need him! So glad I dodged a bullet!
He wanted to get married on her birthday so he could ruin that too along with the anniversary. He’s trapped her too and the triangulation he did will keep her hostage for awhile.
I’ve watched a ton of your videos, but this one hit home very personally for me. The moment I was married, my relationship went off the side of a cliff and was never the same. Then after the birth of my first child and then second child, the relationship went off a cliff at those two milestones also. Right out of the narc playbook.
We didn’t even last a year and he had the nerve to blame me for it all and accused me of cheating through our whole relationship. Smh . 7 months separated now and he’s been with different females and getting all the attention on social media now .. crazy how he never talked about his mistakes ever..
Yes, he completely disregarded me during our honeymoon. It was totally embarrassing. I had no idea what was going on. I was only 21 years old. He wanted to get married a year from the night that we met
I didn't realize that I was the trophy wife for far too long. "We can't get a divorce, people will laugh at me for losing you. They will never believe that it was your fault!" 😂😂🤣
Got married November triangulation started December, when I kicked him out, his fiancé called me 3 months later, while we were still married, they need a cook a maid and someone independent to pay their way in life so they can strut their stuff , and steal from you. Destroy your livelthood
Lee, how do I find out how to get into Narcissist Therapy! I stg I have reactionary narcissism, from so long living in fight or flight mode for so many decades
She was talking about marriage within 2 months of knowing each other one of many red flags, she was married 3 times lol another of many red flags! Lol... I did want to know why some people are in a rush like that..
I can honestly say that getting married quick didn't work for me. But, when my narc ex stuck around and locked me down, it was hard to get out. ( He considered himself a Christian and so am I.) I believed that once you're married, it's for life. I agree that God doesn't expect you to stay in a toxic situation. He did emotionally cheat which led to physically cheating. The affair he had was actually on and off THE WHOLE time we were together. I still feel the first child she had is actually his.They eventually got married, had another child, and he is divorced again (most likely due to cheating). Now he's a three time divorcee.😂😂😂
That was me, couldn’t divorce only except cheating. 5:00 He knew that about me. Only divorced when he was ready for the discard and made sure I ‘find out’ he’s cheating
All of a sudden my ex wants to marry me. 😂😂😂 He knew he lost me long ago and no one wanting him because he has burnt bridges especially with me because i have a child with him and he neglects and abandoned the child. He may have fooled me 2 years ago but now its 2 years too late to eat your cake and have it. No contact forever especially when you treat your own child like he doesn't exist, I his mother will treat you 10× worse. Karma is a b. You make your bed you lay on it. Narcs burn bridges and think grass is greener on the other side and find out the real way that the new supply is like them.
So many people said they had no clue the truth about soon to be ex because he was married to me. I could have curled their eyebrows with the stories I had to tell, lol.
Just found out the new wife has a mortgage in her name only and she just filed for bankruptcy like crazy … when I was married to him we were gonna buy a house and he ended up losing his mind And calling the realtor to get the money back.. we were married 7 months
I want to say as a Christian I stayed in because of my faith UNTIL I told my pastors what was going on. They told me to LEAVE. They said that thought was religious and tradition. It wasn’t Bible and no loving God who’s a father would want me there. I’m still grateful for that mental shift and my relationship with God changed too. So for anyone who’s using Bible to stay in abuse and infidelity don’t buy into the religious hype. God hates divorce but he hates sin more. LEAVE!
Where was this almost 10 year ago? 😅 I can say when my ex was trying to rush me down the aisle I said “I’ve seen this before.” Looked into him and found out he was a liar and manipulator. Saw myself right on out.
My ex wanted to get married quickly (never happened), or he wanted to move in with me or get a place together (he lives with his parents, and I live by myself). I was like naaaahhhh. He wasn’t even romantic about trying to get married, it was just something he wanted.
"Nobody falls in love faster than a narcissist who needs a new place to live." - Dr. Ramani
You ain’t never lied!!
My ex narcissist asked to marry me. All I did was say yes & wore the ring until I threw it way in the back of the apartment.
A "new place". That is so fitting right now as the narc I've been involved with did a 180 on me and is now buying a house with the new/old/new again supply.
IF.....and that's a big if. If they're doing anything they say they're going to do. It's gonna be a hot mess real quick.
@@TheHighwinder trying to heal not looking for labels found my ethreal hope and corpreal sense. Got married in less than 3.948 months or really a few weeks from meeting this acquaintance in all mental zeal. After much therapy and true prayer im asking myself am i the nark married to an other personality. Was young in military. Very naive n searching for a friend. Got married through the " god complex". Lost everything my merch my sense my kids my mammals. Now i say.... what part did i play.
This is amazing. I hope i can heal soon. 45 yrs old feel like ive lost my whole life
Yup. I felt that my marriage was a facade to validate him.
😩
I’m in the same situation. Warning: Get out now. It will ruin your health.
"For I Know the Plans I Have For you," Declares the Lord, "Plans to Prosper you and NOT to harm you, Plans to GIVE you Hope and a Future." Jeremiah 29:11
God HATES abuse!
He is a God of Love❤
Yes!!! Amen!!!
❤
♥️
@@truthseeker-mk4rt Amen still praying and waiting.
One of my favorites ❤️
They seem to want status and money -someone else’s money. They don’t want to give up the facade or status that someone else has earned.
They are users and thief’s
And divorse of property will take 9 years of fight
@@primitivedogs4638 absolutely just divorced. The damn judge was a narcissist it was a nightmare. They took her off the bench after my divorce
🎯
💯
So true! My narc married me after 3 months and after our honeymoon he started calling me a bitch and the abuse began! I was a child bride leaving a narcissist mother & jumped from the frying pan into the fire. After 16 years I finally left him. I’m now remarried over 26 years to a wonderful Christian man. But between marriages I dated another narc. There are so many narcissists out there, beware😮
I'm so glad I divorced my narcissistic ex, he told me he had to go work a day after our wedding. I was left to celebrate my "marriage" with my sisters. Thank goodness I found the strength to leave.
Hello Jennifer, how long were you married for?
Their Narc mind is like a calculator ,always one step ahead in every situation. Sending love from Serbia💫
👋
Sending love from Serbia back to you😊
Narcs are excellently recognized in Serbia, without mercy, in City social service.
Marriage is a tricky situation to get stuck in a relationship, especially if it gets abusive. It gets bad when a child is concieved with a toxic person. Trying getting divorced from a toxic person. It's like going to hell and trying to get back unharmed. Good luck. Thank you Lee 🙏😎
you’re welcome
I'm winning cuz I left him.
🙏
Same girl!! ❤
Yep
Amen
@@keyshahall9867 You sure did, someone else's problem now
Abso-bloody-lutely, long distance relationship so the red flags were in the distance. He wanted me to sell my house after a year of long distance relationship and wanted me to marry him ASAP. I was going to the next day; but we visited his friends and I heard a lot of lies were told, and that night he tried to put hands on me. I'm from the Eastside of Pontiac, we ALWAYS got protection. 1 and a half years of no contact, surviving and thriving 💪👍💯. Thanks Lee. That's when I found your content.
My ex-fiancé (19yrs older than me) tried to rush me to the alter w/i a few months of knowing me. He lovebombed me with expensive dinners, diamonds, shopping sprees and put me on all his financial stuff. He even tried to take me to DeBeers to buy me something on our first time seeing ea other in person (but I said NO)! After what I now know as Narc rage, I put the breaks on and noticed his patterns. Although I called off the engagement, he chased me for 3yrs or more afterwards until I went full no contact. I would’ve been his 4th marriage! Now, I know why he can get ‘em but can’t keep ‘em. He’s on his 5th marriage.
Can get emmmm but can’t keep em!!! That’s why I tell mine he said stop running- the thing is if I stop running yea you got me but you can’t keep me so why would I even slow down if I know the outcome?
5th!?!?!?!
@@MentalHealness Exactly! Once his mask falls off and the thrill is gone, he gets a divorce (it’s always been his exes fault of course) and finds new supply. Quickly. He does not want to be alone.
Good grieve!😮🙈
@@MentalHealness BTW, he’s also a Cancer. 😂😂😩
Before I knew what they were I spent my life on narcs. But the most recent one, told me flat out he was trying to marry me before I saw his baggage. 😱 I was like what 😧 Came right out with it... along with some other BS (so many stories I laugh my ass off about now) His Problem was he didn't know I was actually listening and had already been on my emotional recovery journey. I believed his simple ass and bowed out gracefully and quietly and stayed gone. No ego and no loss on my part 🤷🏾♀️I was grateful to catch it early so the damage was minimal. 🥳
I listen to you all the time tho and it's still trips me out how accurate of a description you give about so many of the behaviors of him. It's reaffirming somehow I guess. I knew I was right... But you really let me know I was right 😅😅😅 Thank you and for all you give!! ❤ And too all of the NARC survivors pushing thru... Stand in your mother father square🤨 because your life depends on it. You are not crazy! They do know what they're doing and they mean every bit of it! Stop giving them the benefit of the doubt! It is not your responsibility to pay for trauma you did not inflict!! And I promise you, you are worth every bit of happiness You dream of having... They just are not built to give it to you! And that is okay🌹Hold close to your chosen spiritual guide & strength! Godspeed 😉
😩😩
@@MentalHealness We live & we learn 🫡
Being with someone who has narcissistic tendencies is actually making me love myself more and looking at all the qualities I have. It did hurt and I was sad I'm also learning what I want and don't want in a partner.
I appreciate your insight. and I wish no one had narcissism. Thanks Lee
Good for you for getting therapy for yourself and your helping others.
you’re welcome
Blind date. Mentioned marriage and babies 3 times
Next day forced me to meet his parents by kidnapping me by car. I only agreed to lunch.
Refused to go home and kept showing up at my place (stalking). When we had no date scheduled.
But because nobody teaches this at the time, and the romcom movies are about guys who stalk and won't take no for an answer, we all (men and women) are trained to believe this unhealthy model of love is good.
Oh my goodness
@@recoveringsoul755 That's just awful. Geez.
And not to mention their parents spoiled them and movies influence us all on many levels it's deeply ingrained in our minds I definitely agree with you on this...and why I'm going to be meditating more OFTEN 😜 to get rid of the subconscious toxicity From indirect and direct sources...
My very dangerous ex.!! Married for less than a year. Police were involved.
@@nicolebavlnka7503 meditation is the one thing I haven't really tried.
I used to have a friend (may he rest in peace) that could predict what my x narc spouse would say and do EVERY TIME, he gave me such great advise. Of course I ignored all of it cuz I was in "love" Lee you remind me of him and I want to thank you for your insight, it helps me not feel so crazy.
you’re welcome
No lies detected. They flip the switch quickly.
Especially coverts!!!! Being married works in well for a good image
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Coverts also need someone to mimic to appear better as they are afraid of who they really are, which is emptiness for life.
..or moving in together, or having kids. Their fear of abandonment. They trap you like a venus fly trap. It’s like hotel california.. you can check in, but you can never leave
Very well said ❤
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mind blown! I love this song and never thought of it in this way. really powerful imagery
I have cancelled the wedding 5 weeks before the date , thanks God and the narc rage, at that time I still didn't know he was narc , I just understood there was something wrong in his behaviour, than talking with a clever friend of mine , who did some psicology exams at university, she made me notice that maybe he was a covert. Really a kind of dr Jekyll and mr hide
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Did you have to pay$$$$$
That’s another thing that we are expected to pay for everything then you are trapped with paying for all the expenses
It been going on forever
We are losers from the start
Lol cleaver and psicology. Lmfao.
The irony. Cleaver. Lmfao.
@@jonhutchinson2902 lmao at you loser, thinking you are a sharp cookie for ridiculing her English, when it's clear that she has another native language and English is the language she learned as foreign language,most surely - along at least 1 more (min) other second language while your sorry ass can only mock and ridicule - go learn some languages, loser-bully, and along them - some emotional intelligence would greatly benefit you as well! Loser boy puffed up in arrogance over nothing!
Its worked on me, he was so sweet i was sure i could learn to love him
That’s how it goes
@@MentalHealness So should NARCS be with ppl that are used to high levels of neglect or trauma? Seems like it would balance or cancel out some of the emotional stuff?
Yeah, we need to be careful. Next time, stick with honey or chocolate ;)
@@hershekissedno that's just adding to the trauma already there. Should ppl who are traumatised become baggage handlers, no, no for anyone. Ppl should be aware of the different personality types and traits and make conscious decisions before entering a rship... In an ideal world of course
@@Juggz2busy587 ideally, they'd both be seeking treatment, and theoretically they should be equipped to deal with some amount of trauma from prior conditioning. If they loved each other I think it could work. Nobody mentioned baggage handling or whatever you said. Guess you just wanted to be apart of the discussion🤭
Thinking back, I think he only married me because he was afraid I would leave him. During the lovebomb stage, he future faked the promise of us getting married because he knew that’s what I was looking for. 5 1/2 months later I found out he was having an emotional texting affair with his ex-wife from 40+ years ago, who he caught cheating on him. They had been talking and planning about getting back together since me and him started dating. She knew more about me than the FBI. We lasted two years being married. 10 days after our anniversary. I left him.
stay safe and protect yourself
Possible she didn’t cheat but was cheated on
@@MentalHealness ty
Nothing more permanent than a child
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Yep… no truer words were ever said!!
You’ve helped a lot and keep me reigned in to not do something dumb. Thank you.
you’re welcome
@@MentalHealness Can you do a segment on why narcissists are cruel when they find out you’re ill or hurt? I was recently hit by a drunk driver and let my ex narc know and oh boy what a nasty response. It was shocking.
Pfft. Your welcome. What a narc
@@monaatkins6394 Narcs are sadists and enjoy seeing others in pain and hurting.
I appreciate you Lee, you have given me a point of view that I could not figure out. I crave him constantly, I realize he is not worth it. He was a type of person that put on a mask but I didn't know it till he started ranting and cursing me during our discussions. Your videos help me see things from his point of view, Insane. Now I wish I never met him. It cost me so much but I can redeem his behavior when I Iisten to your point of view, it helps me understand. I called him recently, he didn't answer, thank God, last time I called him, he listened to me for 30 seconds, I was trying to talk to him, he hung up in my face, but check this out, I witnessed him hanging up in his Mom's face before so I figured it was part of their dynamics. Pathetic. I'm working on me but he was an awesome man in so many ways. I can only pray for him at this point, and stop drunk dialing him. Lol. I will evolve.
Yes, you’re right, Lee. It didn’t take long at all after we got married before my narcissist ex showed his true color. He cheated on me, stole from me, mentally abused me, fake discarded me (said he wanted a divorce but never filed it even after I signed the paper), & much more. He believed I would never leave him just because we were married. I divorced his sorry a$$ so fast as soon as I found out he had been cheating on me. He was in disbelief when he got served & got the letter from the court that the divorce was final 6 weeks later. Good riddance!
This is what I'm in the thick of exactly right now. I was praying it would have been finalized already
their morality is different than a "normal" person....we care ---they care only about themselves
staying with them confirms you are going to accept what they put you through
we think it will get better so hang in there----nope on hope----it never works
Omg the same exact thing happened to me
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Congrats
My entire engagement was only 3 months!! Got married on 10-4-16, he was a covert narc LEO 😂
Looking forward to hearing your point of view as always!
All zodiac signs have the potential to be a narc. I know a bunch of Sagittarius; my sister, daughter, nephew, niece, and my adopted brother. Sags are known of all the signs to get alone with just about everyone, fun, very honest, and are laid back people. Yet. My ex fiance was a Sag and a full blown narc. He was a huge jerk!
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Scorpio is a full blown Narc.
Mine loves being married as her husband has taken her back after two long term affairs and she knows he will never leave her.
That's exactly what happened to me. As soon as we got married, I had a different person. Rude and unavailable
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Lee spreading facts, this is so true, and as a self aware narcissit I was inspired by this channel to start my own here, I am so happy this channel has grown!
Thank you Lee for giving me hope! I needed to hear this. I feel like you are in my marriage you described everything to the T!
I (23) was very young and went very fast with all my also younger narc 21 😮 Did everything too fast and got pregnant and then married 😢 Love my son with my life but all they wanted was his ‘papers.’
Not with him now, but he still doesn’t have his papers 😂
you are brave and SMART-----love to your son------you won the gem
healing season
It's true, he wanted to get married and have a baby REAL quickly even though we were fighting so much over nothing. I am still happy that I escaped this misery.
And yet there's another red flag...fighting over nothing...goodness! I had plenty of those with the narcissistic ex.
@@cecillebalignasay7358 He was fighting for my energy. I was fighting for my sanity and peace. No more of that 🌈💗
Same, i told my ex i did not want kids, he agreed stating he already has two. 3 months in the relationship, he confessed saying he only agreed to not wanting kids so i wouldn't run away and that he had this entire plan to put alot of babies in me to keep himself attached to me for life. I told him i still wasnt having kids with him because i didnt find him healthy emotionally or mentally. next thing i know, hes forcing me to marry him and moving in with him and his son when that wasnt even the plan. When I would tell him how i didnt feel comfortable moving in with his 20 years old son and him, that it was too soon, he would constantly end the relationship , come back and make demands as a form of control to get his demands met. He is sick in the head and Im glad i escaped
Excellent episode❤
Hey Lee, I just want to say thank you so much. You have no ideal how much you have helped me. I left my ex and have not looked back. Again thank you
you’re welcome
Mine has been in and out of my life for 21 YEARS.
He's currently married, with two young children and just contacted me after not hearing from him for 6 years.
Why???? He should be blocked
No reason to speak to this monster
they have NO morals--it never changes---time means nothing to them---their minds remain the same---------and I thought 5 years was enough---nope]---still hovering---they are NEVER satisfied
God bless you---stay strong
Obviously looking for more supply.
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I really hope that some day you guys are able to do these sessions live in other countries too! 🙏🏻🍀
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In fact,God may use you to expose narcissists...end that marriage divinely to safe others not to be hurt!
Thank you Lee
Can you make a video about narcissist, reaching out to you on their birthday and on holidays?
Every single day for 3 years he pressured me to marry him. Oh thank Jesus I didn't. And I'm a Christian..... God doesn't want you to stay in an abusive marriage.
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This spoke to me soooo clearly. Thank you!
You are so welcome
Man this is crazy. That’s how I always felt with my ex. I’m gay but I had never thought of marriage. When I met him he was so bullish about it and I proposed after a year. BUT I purposely had a long engagement because I knew something was weird. He also had two previous failed engagements so that should’ve been a red flag. I felt like a was a character in his play LOL. It’s like he wanted me there in place and he just did whatever he wanted to do. Not about cheating but it can be simple as they want to move freely without being checked, but they all check
You if the tables are turned. They absolutely hate accountability.
They turn it off once they feel like they got you period. I asked my ex why he stopped doing things he use to do. He flat out said to me I guess because I got you. Right there I was working towards my exit strategy.
True! Every word! Don't be close to 50. They will trap you and when you do leave, it won't be as easy as being in your 20s or 30s. Trust me on that.
Excellent big brother coach! 💯9:07 Estpm
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Man this is so true!!
Thank you for the videos🙏🥰
Awesome insight Lee 🙌Marriage for the narc is thus, among other reasons, used as a kind of "trap" because they think that their "beloved" won't abandon them after their broken & unhealed self emerges post-marriage, that is, the self they tried to suppress.
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HAPPY DAY 😊
Your intro theme shots are hilarious and great for this channel. Thats how my narc gf acts/thinks she is; like some kinda talk show host intro theme showing her wanna-be mannerisms in action, but from a perspective of how she wants to look to others.
Yes I also feel it ended the night we got married. Love bombing over. Bored of me
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"Go forth and suffer..." Lol! That was funny... 😂
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My ex-husband was just like what he's describing. He mentioned that now he had me that he didn't have to make the relationship work anymore. I'm so glad that's over. He put me through way too much.
Great Video….. FACTS….
Appreciate that
My Narc thinks he’s so interesting that he told me he wants to write a book about all of his achievements in life. Marine,Bodybuilder, won an mma fight, mvp in HIGHSCHOOL!!?!! He’s 43…I said “so you wanna write a book bc you’re athletic?”
These people think they really are so fascinating that people want to read a book about em!!😂😂😂😂
@@chelseakal-q2b wow 🤣 this is hilarious mine is doing the same. It’s hilarious
@@summerrayne678 😂😂 Wow…it really does make me feel better knowing I’m not alone in this!
My ex that’s a narc is writing a book too smh until people online called him out for scamming lol
@@Shaylaset hahaha 😂 that had to hurt the ol ego lol
@@chelseakal-q2b Mine wrote about love and didn’t include me. His mother was mentioned however 💀💀💀
She wanted marriage so bad. 13 years, I refused. People looking at me like "when you gonna marry her?" By like year 6 and I'm like "ain't ready for all at yet!" *Trey from Boyz in the hood voice, lol. But nah I did want to marry her, but I realized there was something up with her, I knew I loved her, but marriage no small thing to me, I told her how I felt about marriage, how I feel like it's like a business contract between two people and there was certain things about her that I wanted her to improve on, and things I wanted to improve on in myself, before doing that, I watched my mom go through 3 horrible marriages where she was the antagonistic person in all three, I don't take that marriage thing lightly, she hated my reasoning but she didn't discard me. So yes, I spent 13 years with a narcissist being boyfriend, girlfriend. Well, I have this to say, before america there was no institution of marriage that is a legally binding contract that comes with a lot of responsibility in this country between 2 people, that's not how our way back ancestors did things. So to me, the way things are, i don't see an issue with putting it off until both people are ready no matter how long it takes, if it cultivates to signing your name to that person you better make sure its right. I stood on my square with her. Things never improved with her and I didn't make the improvements in me so I never committed to a legally binding contract like that, i could have. I ended up being discarded anyways, I didn't want things to end but she found new primary supply source behind my back. And I'm glad I didn't, I'm glad to not have kids with her either. I made the right choice. I wish I didn't spend those 13 years with her but it is what it is, it's a long chapter of my life that is now closed, never married never divorced. Like I've said before us ADHD people are kind of narcissists kryptonite because we don't bend as easy when we stand on certain principles. Other things a narcissist will lead us into some impulsive bs, and we can lead them there too unintentionally. She led me into sexual things i wouldn't normally do, I led her into riding rollercoasters she'd never get on but i convinced her and held her hand through it. Cute, but our relationship was absolutely atomic... the toxicity was otherworldly, she was incredibly manipulative and I caught it every time easily, huge argument. I was incredibly hard headed and absent-minded, narcissists hate it when you do something that looks like gaslighting but you actually forgot you told them something or moved their thing and forgot you did that, huge argument. We weren't good for each other...but the difference is narcissistic people who aren't working on themselves, aren't good for anybody...they do too much taking, they wear people out in a dogish way, i don't ans never done that to anybody, and I don't manipulate people, i hate lying and liars, i hjst got more and more disgusted with her all her stupid lies to me and other people close to her, i got tried of going with her lies when she'd lie to other people who love her, I couldn't stand it anymore.
@Siegefya you summarized my relationship. And this adhd realization is really good. I am so full of anger about my wasted time now , but as you said it is what it is :/ I wish all the best and quick healing for both of us 🫂
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@@MentalHealness lmao I be so long winded, but thank you for allowing this space for us Lee, to tell our story and get that stuff out.
@@Siegefya 13 years?? I don't have any respect for narcs, but I don't have any respect for using anyone for 13 years, either.
Pretty sure you got alot of benefits from that "relationship" though. Puhleeeeeze
@@jenniferraymond9766 lol, hit dogs holler.
My ex definitely wanted us to get married pretty quickly but luckily, that was one of my boundaries I upheld and we didn't. Because of that, for her, us moving in together was the "goal" and where everything started going downhill. 2 months after our relationship ended, she somehow met someone new and then married the guy the very next year. Our relationship was so abusive and toxic and all this, yet somehow she was able to move that fast into a new relationship no problem 🤔. Meanwhile, 2 years after our breakup, I'm still working on healing myself and not wanting to date for fear of going through another narcisstic relationship
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They really do just switch.
they do
Wow on point ! That’s why he still wanted to be married to me for the facade 😮
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He asked me to get engaged after 2 yrs I said to him like what your never here, I just laughed at him 😂😂 his a complete joke. The relationship was so unstable he kept walking away months at a time come back then go again he never supported me through hard times criticized me & my kids.
I'm so glad I didn't fall into this trap his long gone like he don't even exist no more. 👋
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This is why I am so terrified to get married. I’ve seen it happen to some of my family members. My ex loved bombed me I was 20 he was 32. Wanted to get married and have kids right away but hadn’t experienced life the way I wanted I’m a free spirit. When I refused the narc rage was nasty smh.
Yeah. Night of the wedding she totally disconnected emotionally. Brutal and confusing as hell.
She’s over there having dv situations and getting evicted within a a year of discarding me and her kids! Keep that ish in the 305 Felicia! Feels validating. I have a nice home, good garden and big yard that me and the kids enjoy. They are doing well in school. They finally have a chance at a semblance of normal now that that dumpster fire is out of our lives.
Lee you should talk about BPD if you know anything about it. My ex wife has BPD but she definitely has narcissistic traits
Yup mine left me and married to get back at me from my reaction to him discarding me in the most horrible way!!!
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I’ve experienced all of this , we’ve been together almost 30 years
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I’m went through it 6 years I couldn’t imagine 30 may God give you strength to walk away and be free in Jesus name!
My advice don't marry one don't get involved in one.
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You’re hilarious 😂 awesome videos. Wish I saw them before my experience LOL
🙏 you have them now
My narcissistic wife married me and committed adultery four months into the marriage
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Omg so true.... My tried to rush the relationship. I said no, im not buying a house with you after meeting in 4 months.
He said I didn't love him. I waited a year still missed the red flags.
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I don't have to try now . Classic comment. This is so accurate, there is a good future people.
stay empowered
My ex narc dated me and her for 2 years (I just recently found out) . I found out they got engaged in June, married by September (on her birthday) LOL! He bought a house, she sold hers and moved in with him! She thinks he was God sent and I don’t say anything! But I’m glad she knows God cuz she’s gonna need him! So glad I dodged a bullet!
He wanted to get married on her birthday so he could ruin that too along with the anniversary. He’s trapped her too and the triangulation he did will keep her hostage for awhile.
I’ve watched a ton of your videos, but this one hit home very personally for me. The moment I was married, my relationship went off the side of a cliff and was never the same. Then after the birth of my first child and then second child, the relationship went off a cliff at those two milestones also. Right out of the narc playbook.
We didn’t even last a year and he had the nerve to blame me for it all and accused me of cheating through our whole relationship. Smh . 7 months separated now and he’s been with different females and getting all the attention on social media now .. crazy how he never talked about his mistakes ever..
You are SO RIGHT!
I try
Yes, he completely disregarded me during our honeymoon. It was totally embarrassing. I had no idea what was going on. I was only 21 years old. He wanted to get married a year from the night that we met
I didn't realize that I was the trophy wife for far too long. "We can't get a divorce, people will laugh at me for losing you. They will never believe that it was your fault!" 😂😂🤣
Got married November triangulation started December, when I kicked him out, his fiancé called me 3 months later, while we were still married, they need a cook a maid and someone independent to pay their way in life so they can strut their stuff , and steal from you. Destroy your livelthood
My wedding night - I was 29 years old and he didn’t even want to sleep together. He was like nah, it’s alright. I’m going to get Chinese food. Bye.
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Mine took off his wedding band 2 weeks after the wedding. He thought I was weak. He was dead wrong.
Lee, how do I find out how to get into Narcissist Therapy! I stg I have reactionary narcissism, from so long living in fight or flight mode for so many decades
I understand that… I do too!
you have to want it for yourselves. i found my therapist on psychology today .com
She was talking about marriage within 2 months of knowing each other one of many red flags, she was married 3 times lol another of many red flags! Lol... I did want to know why some people are in a rush like that..
I can honestly say that getting married quick didn't work for me. But, when my narc ex stuck around and locked me down, it was hard to get out. ( He considered himself a Christian and so am I.) I believed that once you're married, it's for life.
I agree that God doesn't expect you to stay in a toxic situation. He did emotionally cheat which led to physically cheating. The affair he had was actually on and off THE WHOLE time we were together. I still feel the first child she had is actually his.They eventually got married, had another child, and he is divorced again (most likely due to cheating). Now he's a three time divorcee.😂😂😂
A lot of people are narcissistic and too low on the assessment requirements to be considered to have NPD.
That was me, couldn’t divorce only except cheating. 5:00
He knew that about me.
Only divorced when he was ready for the discard and made sure I ‘find out’ he’s cheating
FACTS HE CHEATED ON ME RIGHT AROUND OUR FIRST YEAR. ANNIVERSARY MADE ME PROMISE TO MARRY HIM AFTER THREE MONTHS, IF DATING
Unstuck divorce finally finalized today!!! I feel like I just got out of prison and she didn’t show up thank Heavens!
I was with this guy and he literally got a high from mistreating me and i did him a favor, I blocked him and walked away.
All of a sudden my ex wants to marry me. 😂😂😂 He knew he lost me long ago and no one wanting him because he has burnt bridges especially with me because i have a child with him and he neglects and abandoned the child. He may have fooled me 2 years ago but now its 2 years too late to eat your cake and have it. No contact forever especially when you treat your own child like he doesn't exist, I his mother will treat you 10× worse. Karma is a b. You make your bed you lay on it. Narcs burn bridges and think grass is greener on the other side and find out the real way that the new supply is like them.
So true 💯
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Thank you ❤
You're welcome 😊
So many people said they had no clue the truth about soon to be ex because he was married to me. I could have curled their eyebrows with the stories I had to tell, lol.
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He acted as a single man day one.
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He has to get the hell out!
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Just found out the new wife has a mortgage in her name only and she just filed for bankruptcy like crazy … when I was married to him we were gonna buy a house and he ended up losing his mind And calling the realtor to get the money back.. we were married 7 months
38 yrs. I am destroyed. It’s too late for me to start over
it's healing season
I'm also 38 and feel destroyed but I'm fighting to restore my mental it is hard but I have no choice to believe it is possible
@@eboneep6354no not to late! I'm 63 and I'm finding a way to get out.!
I want to say as a Christian I stayed in because of my faith UNTIL I told my pastors what was going on. They told me to LEAVE. They said that thought was religious and tradition. It wasn’t Bible and no loving God who’s a father would want me there. I’m still grateful for that mental shift and my relationship with God changed too.
So for anyone who’s using Bible to stay in abuse and infidelity don’t buy into the religious hype. God hates divorce but he hates sin more. LEAVE!
Having flat but moneyless?
Ok, GET MARRIED!
Where was this almost 10 year ago? 😅
I can say when my ex was trying to rush me down the aisle I said “I’ve seen this before.” Looked into him and found out he was a liar and manipulator. Saw myself right on out.
My ex wanted to get married quickly (never happened), or he wanted to move in with me or get a place together (he lives with his parents, and I live by myself). I was like naaaahhhh. He wasn’t even romantic about trying to get married, it was just something he wanted.