Both her sons, actually. Because OPs BIL sent a bunch of horrid text messages ("after being swept up in the moment , in support of his brother") & he was made to apologize at the family lunch get together to OP...
I'm with op. The husband is a delusional piece of trash. The least he could do was take accountability and apologize like a man would do instead of making excuses like a baby. He acted like an idiot and made it worse by running away instead of communicating his anxiety.
When the story said the husband had a conservative family, I was expecting them to be the scum of the earth, glad I was proven wrong. Cause that MIL is a pure GEM.
@@YurinanAcquiline She meant that they've (the couple) been talking about having a family, and the husband was making fake stories about her that she "forced" to have a family with him, even he wasn't committed (and like it is so funny the fact that they were actually trying to concieve for a year too, like they can talk about it).
@@YurinanAcquilinethis happens very frequently. Men constantly avoid taking any contraceptive responsibility by refusing to use condoms or getting vasectomies and blindly rely on the woman to take birth control, but once an unwanted pregnancy happens (because the woman accidentally missed a pill or because the pill simply failed) they’re the first ones to whine and portray themselves as victims of ‚babytrapping‘. Logical gender my ass. Stop rawdogging and nutting inside women if you don’t want kids!!
If you don’t trust eachother or reciprocate loyalty then the relationship isn’t likely to work out, regardless of trying to repress feelings of vulnerability and doubts. Mutual trust and loyalty are way more important
This wasn’t a show of weakness or vulnerability. He confronted her, accused her, insulted her, and ran away. That’s hardly a show of needing support. If he’d come to her and said that he was having doubts about his ability to be a father, then that would be vulnerability. But it doesn’t mean shit for him to tell her all that after treating her like trash and showing just how little he thinks of her. Instead of talking to her, he projected everything onto her and blamed her for everything wrong. He was looking for a scapegoat, a means to shirk the responsibility of his own feelings. A means to validate his doubts and disconnection from the child. That’s his response to one of the happiest situations a person can be in, how the hell is he gonna respond to a genuinely stressful, bad situation? Like, idk, having a screaming baby? Not to mention that he hardly took responsibility for any of it. He admitted he made a mistake, but he never actually apologized to her or asked for her forgiveness. He didn’t say he wanted to make it up to her, or that he was willing to prove that he’s genuine. Seemed that he wanted to just sweep everything under the rug and move on. She can find someone better. And she will. And then he’ll probably be a weekend dad who’s hella bitter that his ex is doing better without him.
What a overreaction on both parts. Again a couple thats throwing away a healthy family life because lack of communication. Dude was wrong for even thinking that babytrapped BS. Girl was wrong for divorcing him because he made a mistake. WHy not talk it through, seek therapy and work it out for the sake of their daughter....
Also, you are only baby trapped if you let yourself be baby trapped. What idiot would stay with a woman he doesnt love anymore just for the kid? Just leave dude and share custody. You can still be there for the kid and watch it grow up. But I agree, the divorce was kind of an overreaction, though I can also understand her. Will he also run away when the upbringing of the child bears some complications? Or when the baby cries all night?
I agree BUT the husbands immaturity about it all is what makes me agree with the divorce, what else is he gonna believe on the internet? What else is he gonna fear? It just speaks volumes to the kind of person he is
Hell no, she did the right thing. If someone is ready to leave you and insult that fast, that’s not a person you should hang out with, even more as a husband and especially now he’s a father. He took the worst possible solution and did it so fast, surprised he didn’t get whiplash. That’s a heavy red flag that will leave to future headaches, and she was smart to cut it off before it could grow.
exactly, the whole thing was not a one off incident, he went back because his mommy forced him too. not because he understood what he did was wrong@@thestranger1475
@@thestranger1475 Relationships are hard work, if people broke up because every single argument or hurtfull thing there wouldnt be any relationships. You said she did the right thing, i say she needs to think about how this effects her daughters life. Shouldve went to therapy to attack the problems head on, instant she choose the easy way out that also gives her daughter a broken family to grow up with.
What he did is wrong sure, but I do believe everyone deserves a second chance, you shouldn’t throw a future away over something like this, good couples work through these things
So he can run away at the first advesity?, no!, dude is not a partner, he should do therapy and OP should find a real man she can count on when she needs it, not the excuse of a man that her baby dad is
True but at the same time there is stuff that you can't really go through it, that was pretty rough, i'm also about the family but if my man treated me this way with just a shitty excuse as 'i panicked', i would probably leave too. Think about the future of the fmaily, leaving your life with an husband, or wife, who treated you this way, no trust is possible anymore, it's like after cheating, the relationship is changed forever and it's just done.
I agree with this. He didn't cheat on her or anything like that. He was really sorry at the end. Why is that when women have emotional crisis need to be understood but when men deal with the same things, they get all screwed about it. I understand her pain and anger, but damn... He loved her and his baby...
@@LadyKurta Yeah, he didn't cheat on her, but she gave her trust on him and the fact that she was left hanging while she was pregnant and him telling made up stories about her. It was not just the trust he broke but also herself. Cheating is not only the way to break your s/o's trust on you. And you know, you can still feel sorry and guilty for your s/o after you cheated on them.
@@LadyKurta "why is that when woman have emotional crisis need to be understood but when men deal with the same things, they all get screwed about it." Because in that scenario, she is pregnant. Emotional distress could cause her miscarriage. They could've both gone to couple theraphy or even talk the issue themselves in the next morning, they are literally married couple, so deal the issue like a married couple regardless how mentally unstable you are, especially if there's a literal fetus in your wife's body. (And like, if you can't, then apologize and say that they would talk about it later and reassure them. That's so simple to do when you genuinely love the person.) Third, instead of dealing with it like a married couple, he gave her silent treatment and an insult from the brother. Oh yeah, you panicked that you might be babytrapped, that's why you're treated your wife sh*t and making false stories about her where in fact they've been actually trying to concieve for a year. It goes the same way when a woman making false stories on his husband and insulted her husband, treating her husband a silent treatment. Her excusing that she's mentally unstable is not reasonable for you to treat people, especially your s/o *ss. + babytrapping is extremely *ss move too.
Ok, so first of all, there are always 3 sides to stories like that. Her side, his side, and the truth. All we got here is her side. We can only guess what actually was going on in the man's head. Not saying the dude did nothing wrong, btw. Ever been with a girl that serves you some food that she made. Food was edible, but the taste was kinda bland. But you wanna be polite, so you smile and say "Yeah, it tastes good". And now she just goes around telling everyone how you think she's the best cook on Earth, and you absolutely love all of the dishes she makes? That's totally the vibe I get from the "He was fine with us having kids before." It feels like she was more than happy to just roll with the polite "Yeah, having a kid is good" and make that whole story in her head that he was TOTALLY THRILLED at being a dad. So the dude is seeing this unfolding and thinking "She just doesn't give a crap about my feelings on this matter." Not completely unfounded, BTW. So he was trying to put his feelings being ignored on the back burner, where it was slowly simmering over time. Probably thinking "This is fine!" and things would all resolve themselves before soon. Dumb idea, but a mistake many people make. And that's when this whole mess with his friend getting baby-trapped happens. 2 huge grocery bags worth of anxiety that gets suddenly dumped in the pot of already simmering anxiety that was on the back burner for days. That was too much, he couldn't ignore it anymore. So he tried to bring it up with her. And that's when she starts laughing in his face about how his worries are ridiculous. Now don't get me wrong. Sometimes laughing at someone else's worries is fine and justified. But not when the main cause of their worries is YOU. When someone is worried that you do not care about them, laughing in their faces is NOT the right move. She complained later on how she couldn't trust him to protect her back, but she sure didn't had HIS back at that time. So then the dude is just too emotionally unstable to continue the conversation. She unilaterally decides "let's just sleep on it for tonight, and continue this tomorrow morning." But here's the problem. Was that enough? At that time, the dude IS emotionally unstable. And there's this chick just laughing at him. What if he had snapped and just punched her? Would you guys have been okay with that outcome? Maybe he was so pissed at her that staying the night wasn't enough, he HAD to get out of there to cool off. Maybe leaving the house without stirring up any more argument was the right move, we can't be sure without hearing his side. "My husband wasn't answering my phone calls or texts" Well yeah, he needed some time to cool off. Again, we don't know how pissed he was at you at the time. No mention how many hundreds of messages she was pestering him with, either. Please note this situation is different from when she was ignoring his calls later, after saying she wanted a divorce and was just ignoring him. There's a difference between needing time to process one's feelings over something and just ignoring out of spite. Also, yes the husband's brother is an dumba$$. But the wife's friends are even worse. The proper way of being someone's confident during a couple's crisis is to: 1) Listen to the person and let them vent out their frustrations and anxieties, 2) Try to get them to reflect and understand the partner's perspective and reactions to how the fight went down, The brother was an idiot for sending that text. Yeah he was trying to act out of solidarity, but what he should have done is to try explain to him that maybe he was wrong about his wife's intentions. But the wife's friends going straight to "You should divorce him!" are a hundred times sh!ttier. And don't get me started on those rotten reddit comments. >.< A big problem in our current society is this sh!tty attitude that people aren't allowed to make mistakes even once. "You screwed up once. I don't care if you learned your lesson and will never do this again, that's not good enough. Everything should have been perfect the first time." Is a rotten attitude to have. Yeah the dude f*cked up. He let his anxiety take over, and made some bad choices. But to be fair, even from this biased story, nobody had his back. Especially not the wife. The brother gets some points for efforts, but not for results. But wife is worse. She went straight to divorce when the idea came to her attention. She didn't tried to give him a second chance, or to see his point of view. She let herself get brainwashed against the one she falsely claimed she would cherish for better or worse. Yes he failed her temporarily, but she chose to make this permanent. Husband was right, she didn't had his back. She didn't cared about him nor his worries.
@@goverlord Tell us you c@cked out without telling us you c@cked out like that. "Methinks the gentleman doth lets women get away with murder too much."
@@neetscholar4149 I mean, seriously. This story caused you to generate an ENORMOUS wall of text telling everyone that a seven year marriage can be baby trapped at all, and that a guy dipping four months into a planned pregnancy is fine and should be immediately forgiven.
@@goverlord Like I opened with, there's always 3 sides to a story. Here we only got one. The ENORMOUS wall of text you refer to is mostly a possible alternate story that might explain how things went down from HIS point of view, which is almost totally missing here. The fact that I could so easily fit such an ENORMOUS wall of text between the lines shows how lacking the original story was. Maybe that pregnancy had been planned BY HER. Sure as heck didn't looked like she had bothered to ask for his opinion beforehand. At the very least, it's obvious that he didn't felt like his voice had been heard before the whole argument. When talking about 2 people married for 7+ years, do you think it's possible for a man to r@pe his wife? If so, why is it not possible for a woman to baby-trap her husband? Does "being married for 7+ years" automatically implies consent for anything one partner wants, or not? But most of all, where the f&%$ have I said that he should be immediately forgiven? The whole ENORMOUS wall of text I have been saying "Yeah he was wrong, problem is she was wrong too" What I was saying was that sometimes, people screw up. Happens to everyone, even the best of us. And when that happens, yeah sometimes it's hard, but we should try to give them a second chance. A divorce should be a last resort when absolutely everything else failed. Not the first thing to jump on because the other person did something that annoyed you. How often in your life do you see a woman behave irrationally, and just go "Oh, no big deal" and just go business as usual? But if a man drops the ball just ONCE, then it's all "Off with his head!" straight away. "But how can you forgive him for not being rational while having ONE stress-induced irrational episode?" Easy. Just stop being sexist and treat him the same way you would have treated a woman that did the same. Maybe that fight would have been the one and only time in his whole life that he messed up big time, and would have otherwise been the perfect husband the other 99.999% of the time. But we will never know, because divorce = game over. The exact opposite of giving him a chance to redeem himself. If you think "Giving him a chance to redeem himself" and "Immediately forgiving him" are the same thing, you need to get out more.
Ngl I get where op is coming from, but she just destroyed here family over a dude with ovb anxiety for having a child. And even tho she can find a new man, she still just made her daughter's father walk out of her life (even if he gets rights to her it's not the same as a normal family) . Like good for her and everything but she was married to that man for 7 years and then acts like she don't know him when he fucks up once(not that he probably hasn't messed up in the past, but not to this caliber). Idek, she just seems to let her emotions get to her in my opinion instead of what's best for their daughter. Tell me if you agree with me or not because I'm very conflicted.
Well, The relationship is over, it's not like the baby Girl won't have a support system, she has her mom , grandparents and her dad can be there, It was a rushed decision but certainly she just could'nt forgive him and she has The right to end a relationship wIth no trust
From a woman's perspective I would never be able to trust him again regarding our daughter. Everyday I would think " is this gonna be the day he leaves again"? I would also automatically feel that he would resent me for the rest of his life. I would of walked too.
It took 10 years of hell and fighting in my marriage to to get to a point where i would die for my wife but this is crap anyone who gives up this easy doesnt deserve to be married. Sounds like she was just waiting for the right reason to leave from the begining.
Why is it when the man bolts, the woman is expected to make it work? It is always the woman fault, even when she stays while he dissapears for time and time again. Or in this case, he left first. Heck, he would probably leave again. If this story is real...
Yeah, cuz a husband she cant count on and will leave her at any opportunity is something worth fighting for, give me a break, incel, you probably see yourself in that excuse of a man that OP ex is and feel bad for the guy having to face consequences for his actions
I understand everything (Also, I know first handed some cases of baby trapping during the marriage, but was to avoid the imminent divorce). But all the family are AH, he had a mental crisis and instead trying to dealing with therapy, they decided to kick him out because he can't have a moment of weakness and react like an idiot. Also, he is a pos that never apologize properly. Poor girl, she is going to be raised in a broken home with shitty values.
That is what I am saying, don't get me wrong the husband handled it wrong off the jump. Just damn she was quick as hell to not even try to save that shit lol. Him being scared of being baby trapped was dumb though after that many years together.
dude was lucky to have good people around him for him to realize how stupid he was. but apparently she doesnt have people around her to tell her going through with this divorce is fucking stupid. dude is right, she really is throwing 7+ years away. yes the dude would've done it too, but at least his reasoning was because of a possible legitimate trust issue. she wants to throw it away because - she lost trust in him because he didn't trust her? and you're divorcing over that??? when nothing actually happened on either side? she's fucked. dude started out looking like the one in the wrong here and feeling sorry for the girl, but by the end that was reversed
His trust issue was unfounded and indeed nonsense as they were actively trying to have a child. Her issue wasn't unfounded, being ditched when pregnant is a legitimate trust issue. Reddit loves divorce and would advocate for it for disputes over pinapple on pizza, but he is a fucking idiot and in the wrong here.
How on earth is thinking your wife baby trapped you with a baby you both planned...a legitimate trust issue? But she doesn't have a legitimate trust issue when she's been accused of heinous character by her husband, he refused to communicate with her, and he abandoned her? 🤔😐
It is so funny that y'all precieve her decision to divorce her husband as shallow when in fact, it almost made her loose her child because she was extremely emotionally distress (btw, the first trimester of prgenancy is the most vulnerable, and her a-hole husband just left her in that state). And yes, divorce should be one of the options after a man literally abandoned a woman during her first trimester, and bringing her emotional trauma. And remember, just because they are married for years, it does not mean red flags would not occur anymore on that stage. She tried to reached out for him and fixing the relationship, he said no. So, she did the same, and yet y'all so pressed about it. I told my fiance to communicate and talk our problems out, either call me out of my red flags and what our boundaries are, or to call the relationship off if I hurt him completely (i.e cheating or insulting to the point that would cause him trauma).
@@tinytina6056 Divorce was never off the table, it just appeared like she pulled the trigger on that quick. I am very interested in hearing his side of the story because sounds like once he left she was already done with him. Just saying if you've been married to someone for that long at least consider their mental health as a factor if their behavior changes drastically. That is the only concern I have about. It really sounds like he had a mental break and the people around him just looked down on him for it instead of trying to figure out what is going on in his head to just up and leave.
So......women can cancel pregnancies at their leisure and it's totally fine, but if a man is scared to be a fater he's a coward and gets shit all over? Was it planned? The pregnancy? Cause it sounds like, from this story anyway, that you decided without his input to get pregnant. Which btw, is exactly what baby trapping is. Which is why he confronted you about baby trapping him, because that's how he felt. Or is it only female feelings that deserve consideration? Misandrists
She said in the story, that they had _both_ been trying to get pregnant for the better part of a year, you nincompoop. Tell me you didn't fucking listen-
I'm more on the unfortunate ex-husband's side. I feel for both sides but feel for the ex husband more. But she did say they had been trying for a year to get into a pregnancy.
She basically said “stay with your mommy because you’re not ready to be a daddy” lol But seriously she’s an asshole. Men can’t show emotions so a lot of time things build up. Babies are a huge step in life so I understand how he could feel overwhelmed. How he carried it was wrong but no one is perfect. He stepped up and said he wanted to be in the babies life. But being an emotional female she decided to break up a family and continue the statistic of a fatherless home
Doesn’t a relationship need trust and communication? If he had come back on his own then maybe it would be alright but he was practically forced back by his mother. Who knows if he would have came back without his mom being around. What if something like this happens again and he doesn’t end up going to someone who can change his mind? a real man does not abandon his family and I can’t imagine the child being happy in a home where there is no trust.
If his mom did not FORCE him to apologize he would never do it. He’s pathetic and HE broke the marriage and trust. How he reacted to being scared was leaving that’s not a partner that’s a pathetic behavior and a man child. When me and my husband got pregnant he was scared but he talked to me like a normal partner. Boohoo to this guy it’s the consequences to his actions
Shout out to the MIL for holding her son accountable.
MIL saves the day
Both her sons, actually. Because OPs BIL sent a bunch of horrid text messages ("after being swept up in the moment , in support of his brother") & he was made to apologize at the family lunch get together to OP...
having to be dragged back home to apologize to your wife by your own mother like a little boy is so pathetic
This feels like a creative writing assignment.
I'm with op. The husband is a delusional piece of trash. The least he could do was take accountability and apologize like a man would do instead of making excuses like a baby. He acted like an idiot and made it worse by running away instead of communicating his anxiety.
He did the righr thing lol.
@@Zack-slash-Godzilla-o77 That’s why he’s the one sad, lonely, and crying back for HER right?🤣😂
@@domaniquehuckaby6224 no..?
@@Zack-slash-Godzilla-o77 telling us you didn't watch the video without telling us you didn't watch the video XD
@@Zack-slash-Godzilla-o77 Yes🥰🙏🏽
MIL is the greatest
She is the MIL everyone wishes for
When the story said the husband had a conservative family, I was expecting them to be the scum of the earth, glad I was proven wrong. Cause that MIL is a pure GEM.
1:20 "Accusing me of forcing my husband into this pregnancy"
💀 hold up
Lmao. No way this is real. If it is real, the man is crazy.
@@YurinanAcquiline She meant that they've (the couple) been talking about having a family, and the husband was making fake stories about her that she "forced" to have a family with him, even he wasn't committed (and like it is so funny the fact that they were actually trying to concieve for a year too, like they can talk about it).
@@YurinanAcquilinethis happens very frequently. Men constantly avoid taking any contraceptive responsibility by refusing to use condoms or getting vasectomies and blindly rely on the woman to take birth control, but once an unwanted pregnancy happens (because the woman accidentally missed a pill or because the pill simply failed) they’re the first ones to whine and portray themselves as victims of ‚babytrapping‘. Logical gender my ass. Stop rawdogging and nutting inside women if you don’t want kids!!
STBXH forgot the grandchild rule. Grandparents will take the side of whomever has the grandchildren in favor of their own adult children.
Stay single!
Both were hurt, but only one got the (emotional) support. Be careful who you pick, they might become your worst enemy.
OP's husband is living life with 5k ping
Mother In Law has to be one of the biggest GOATs of all time.
MIL was so sweet 😭
The 9th yard fumble always makes me wince
This is what I watch instead of soap operas lol. Maybe I should start.
Divorce in one day? Weird.
He did wrong but divorce? Oooof.
This story is a great example to never show any weakness, vulnerability, or doubt to your woman.
They need security.
If you don’t trust eachother or reciprocate loyalty then the relationship isn’t likely to work out, regardless of trying to repress feelings of vulnerability and doubts. Mutual trust and loyalty are way more important
No? He could’ve done all of those things by communicating his fears instead of accusing her of bs and running away like a coward
This wasn’t a show of weakness or vulnerability. He confronted her, accused her, insulted her, and ran away. That’s hardly a show of needing support. If he’d come to her and said that he was having doubts about his ability to be a father, then that would be vulnerability.
But it doesn’t mean shit for him to tell her all that after treating her like trash and showing just how little he thinks of her. Instead of talking to her, he projected everything onto her and blamed her for everything wrong. He was looking for a scapegoat, a means to shirk the responsibility of his own feelings. A means to validate his doubts and disconnection from the child.
That’s his response to one of the happiest situations a person can be in, how the hell is he gonna respond to a genuinely stressful, bad situation? Like, idk, having a screaming baby?
Not to mention that he hardly took responsibility for any of it. He admitted he made a mistake, but he never actually apologized to her or asked for her forgiveness. He didn’t say he wanted to make it up to her, or that he was willing to prove that he’s genuine. Seemed that he wanted to just sweep everything under the rug and move on.
She can find someone better. And she will. And then he’ll probably be a weekend dad who’s hella bitter that his ex is doing better without him.
too bad the baby will have no father cuz he left
His fault
this account is going to blow up
What a overreaction on both parts. Again a couple thats throwing away a healthy family life because lack of communication.
Dude was wrong for even thinking that babytrapped BS.
Girl was wrong for divorcing him because he made a mistake.
WHy not talk it through, seek therapy and work it out for the sake of their daughter....
Also, you are only baby trapped if you let yourself be baby trapped. What idiot would stay with a woman he doesnt love anymore just for the kid? Just leave dude and share custody. You can still be there for the kid and watch it grow up.
But I agree, the divorce was kind of an overreaction, though I can also understand her. Will he also run away when the upbringing of the child bears some complications? Or when the baby cries all night?
I agree BUT the husbands immaturity about it all is what makes me agree with the divorce, what else is he gonna believe on the internet? What else is he gonna fear? It just speaks volumes to the kind of person he is
Hell no, she did the right thing. If someone is ready to leave you and insult that fast, that’s not a person you should hang out with, even more as a husband and especially now he’s a father. He took the worst possible solution and did it so fast, surprised he didn’t get whiplash.
That’s a heavy red flag that will leave to future headaches, and she was smart to cut it off before it could grow.
exactly, the whole thing was not a one off incident, he went back because his mommy forced him too. not because he understood what he did was wrong@@thestranger1475
@@thestranger1475 Relationships are hard work, if people broke up because every single argument or hurtfull thing there wouldnt be any relationships.
You said she did the right thing, i say she needs to think about how this effects her daughters life. Shouldve went to therapy to attack the problems head on, instant she choose the easy way out that also gives her daughter a broken family to grow up with.
What he did is wrong sure, but I do believe everyone deserves a second chance, you shouldn’t throw a future away over something like this, good couples work through these things
So he can run away at the first advesity?, no!, dude is not a partner, he should do therapy and OP should find a real man she can count on when she needs it, not the excuse of a man that her baby dad is
True but at the same time there is stuff that you can't really go through it, that was pretty rough, i'm also about the family but if my man treated me this way with just a shitty excuse as 'i panicked', i would probably leave too.
Think about the future of the fmaily, leaving your life with an husband, or wife, who treated you this way, no trust is possible anymore, it's like after cheating, the relationship is changed forever and it's just done.
I agree with this. He didn't cheat on her or anything like that. He was really sorry at the end.
Why is that when women have emotional crisis need to be understood but when men deal with the same things, they get all screwed about it.
I understand her pain and anger, but damn... He loved her and his baby...
@@LadyKurta Yeah, he didn't cheat on her, but she gave her trust on him and the fact that she was left hanging while she was pregnant and him telling made up stories about her. It was not just the trust he broke but also herself. Cheating is not only the way to break your s/o's trust on you.
And you know, you can still feel sorry and guilty for your s/o after you cheated on them.
@@LadyKurta
"why is that when woman have emotional crisis need to be understood but when men deal with the same things, they all get screwed about it."
Because in that scenario, she is pregnant. Emotional distress could cause her miscarriage. They could've both gone to couple theraphy or even talk the issue themselves in the next morning, they are literally married couple, so deal the issue like a married couple regardless how mentally unstable you are, especially if there's a literal fetus in your wife's body.
(And like, if you can't, then apologize and say that they would talk about it later and reassure them. That's so simple to do when you genuinely love the person.)
Third, instead of dealing with it like a married couple, he gave her silent treatment and an insult from the brother. Oh yeah, you panicked that you might be babytrapped, that's why you're treated your wife sh*t and making false stories about her where in fact they've been actually trying to concieve for a year.
It goes the same way when a woman making false stories on his husband and insulted her husband, treating her husband a silent treatment. Her excusing that she's mentally unstable is not reasonable for you to treat people, especially your s/o *ss. + babytrapping is extremely *ss move too.
Ok, so first of all, there are always 3 sides to stories like that.
Her side, his side, and the truth.
All we got here is her side. We can only guess what actually was going on in the man's head.
Not saying the dude did nothing wrong, btw.
Ever been with a girl that serves you some food that she made. Food was edible, but the taste was kinda bland.
But you wanna be polite, so you smile and say "Yeah, it tastes good".
And now she just goes around telling everyone how you think she's the best cook on Earth, and you absolutely love all of the dishes she makes?
That's totally the vibe I get from the "He was fine with us having kids before."
It feels like she was more than happy to just roll with the polite "Yeah, having a kid is good" and make that whole story in her head that he was TOTALLY THRILLED at being a dad.
So the dude is seeing this unfolding and thinking "She just doesn't give a crap about my feelings on this matter."
Not completely unfounded, BTW.
So he was trying to put his feelings being ignored on the back burner, where it was slowly simmering over time.
Probably thinking "This is fine!" and things would all resolve themselves before soon. Dumb idea, but a mistake many people make.
And that's when this whole mess with his friend getting baby-trapped happens. 2 huge grocery bags worth of anxiety that gets suddenly dumped in the pot of already simmering anxiety that was on the back burner for days.
That was too much, he couldn't ignore it anymore. So he tried to bring it up with her.
And that's when she starts laughing in his face about how his worries are ridiculous.
Now don't get me wrong. Sometimes laughing at someone else's worries is fine and justified.
But not when the main cause of their worries is YOU. When someone is worried that you do not care about them, laughing in their faces is NOT the right move.
She complained later on how she couldn't trust him to protect her back, but she sure didn't had HIS back at that time.
So then the dude is just too emotionally unstable to continue the conversation. She unilaterally decides "let's just sleep on it for tonight, and continue this tomorrow morning." But here's the problem. Was that enough?
At that time, the dude IS emotionally unstable. And there's this chick just laughing at him.
What if he had snapped and just punched her? Would you guys have been okay with that outcome? Maybe he was so pissed at her that staying the night wasn't enough, he HAD to get out of there to cool off.
Maybe leaving the house without stirring up any more argument was the right move, we can't be sure without hearing his side.
"My husband wasn't answering my phone calls or texts" Well yeah, he needed some time to cool off. Again, we don't know how pissed he was at you at the time. No mention how many hundreds of messages she was pestering him with, either.
Please note this situation is different from when she was ignoring his calls later, after saying she wanted a divorce and was just ignoring him.
There's a difference between needing time to process one's feelings over something and just ignoring out of spite.
Also, yes the husband's brother is an dumba$$. But the wife's friends are even worse.
The proper way of being someone's confident during a couple's crisis is to:
1) Listen to the person and let them vent out their frustrations and anxieties,
2) Try to get them to reflect and understand the partner's perspective and reactions to how the fight went down,
The brother was an idiot for sending that text. Yeah he was trying to act out of solidarity, but what he should have done is to try explain to him that maybe he was wrong about his wife's intentions.
But the wife's friends going straight to "You should divorce him!" are a hundred times sh!ttier.
And don't get me started on those rotten reddit comments. >.<
A big problem in our current society is this sh!tty attitude that people aren't allowed to make mistakes even once.
"You screwed up once. I don't care if you learned your lesson and will never do this again, that's not good enough. Everything should have been perfect the first time." Is a rotten attitude to have.
Yeah the dude f*cked up. He let his anxiety take over, and made some bad choices. But to be fair, even from this biased story, nobody had his back. Especially not the wife. The brother gets some points for efforts, but not for results.
But wife is worse. She went straight to divorce when the idea came to her attention. She didn't tried to give him a second chance, or to see his point of view. She let herself get brainwashed against the one she falsely claimed she would cherish for better or worse. Yes he failed her temporarily, but she chose to make this permanent.
Husband was right, she didn't had his back. She didn't cared about him nor his worries.
tell us you fecked up like that without telling us you fecked up like that.
"Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much."
Ok incel, woman are all bad and are coming for your lunch money, run to the hills to escape
@@goverlord
Tell us you c@cked out without telling us you c@cked out like that.
"Methinks the gentleman doth lets women get away with murder too much."
@@neetscholar4149 I mean, seriously. This story caused you to generate an ENORMOUS wall of text telling everyone that a seven year marriage can be baby trapped at all, and that a guy dipping four months into a planned pregnancy is fine and should be immediately forgiven.
@@goverlord Like I opened with, there's always 3 sides to a story. Here we only got one.
The ENORMOUS wall of text you refer to is mostly a possible alternate story that might explain how things went down from HIS point of view, which is almost totally missing here.
The fact that I could so easily fit such an ENORMOUS wall of text between the lines shows how lacking the original story was.
Maybe that pregnancy had been planned BY HER. Sure as heck didn't looked like she had bothered to ask for his opinion beforehand. At the very least, it's obvious that he didn't felt like his voice had been heard before the whole argument.
When talking about 2 people married for 7+ years, do you think it's possible for a man to r@pe his wife? If so, why is it not possible for a woman to baby-trap her husband? Does "being married for 7+ years" automatically implies consent for anything one partner wants, or not?
But most of all, where the f&%$ have I said that he should be immediately forgiven? The whole ENORMOUS wall of text I have been saying "Yeah he was wrong, problem is she was wrong too"
What I was saying was that sometimes, people screw up. Happens to everyone, even the best of us. And when that happens, yeah sometimes it's hard, but we should try to give them a second chance.
A divorce should be a last resort when absolutely everything else failed. Not the first thing to jump on because the other person did something that annoyed you.
How often in your life do you see a woman behave irrationally, and just go "Oh, no big deal" and just go business as usual? But if a man drops the ball just ONCE, then it's all "Off with his head!" straight away. "But how can you forgive him for not being rational while having ONE stress-induced irrational episode?" Easy. Just stop being sexist and treat him the same way you would have treated a woman that did the same.
Maybe that fight would have been the one and only time in his whole life that he messed up big time, and would have otherwise been the perfect husband the other 99.999% of the time. But we will never know, because divorce = game over. The exact opposite of giving him a chance to redeem himself.
If you think "Giving him a chance to redeem himself" and "Immediately forgiving him" are the same thing, you need to get out more.
Ngl I get where op is coming from, but she just destroyed here family over a dude with ovb anxiety for having a child. And even tho she can find a new man, she still just made her daughter's father walk out of her life (even if he gets rights to her it's not the same as a normal family) . Like good for her and everything but she was married to that man for 7 years and then acts like she don't know him when he fucks up once(not that he probably hasn't messed up in the past, but not to this caliber). Idek, she just seems to let her emotions get to her in my opinion instead of what's best for their daughter. Tell me if you agree with me or not because I'm very conflicted.
My thoughts exactly. She"s acting like a psychopath.
Well, The relationship is over, it's not like the baby Girl won't have a support system, she has her mom , grandparents and her dad can be there, It was a rushed decision but certainly she just could'nt forgive him and she has The right to end a relationship wIth no trust
From a woman's perspective I would never be able to trust him again regarding our daughter. Everyday I would think " is this gonna be the day he leaves again"? I would also automatically feel that he would resent me for the rest of his life. I would of walked too.
@@a.j.johnson6755 A woman's perspective doesn't matter, they aren't real people and they don't feel emotions properly like the rest of the population.
Na, she can't trust him anymore. He showed that he would rather walk out than to work it out. OP and the baby are better off without him.
It took 10 years of hell and fighting in my marriage to to get to a point where i would die for my wife but this is crap anyone who gives up this easy doesnt deserve to be married. Sounds like she was just waiting for the right reason to leave from the begining.
Feel bad for the baby having to grow up with a mom that gives up so easy she is gonna have a hard life and a lot of step dads
Why is it when the man bolts, the woman is expected to make it work? It is always the woman fault, even when she stays while he dissapears for time and time again. Or in this case, he left first. Heck, he would probably leave again. If this story is real...
@@kingsalavis5722 too bad the baby will have to live without a father
the husband left after 7 years
Yeah, cuz a husband she cant count on and will leave her at any opportunity is something worth fighting for, give me a break, incel, you probably see yourself in that excuse of a man that OP ex is and feel bad for the guy having to face consequences for his actions
I understand everything (Also, I know first handed some cases of baby trapping during the marriage, but was to avoid the imminent divorce). But all the family are AH, he had a mental crisis and instead trying to dealing with therapy, they decided to kick him out because he can't have a moment of weakness and react like an idiot. Also, he is a pos that never apologize properly.
Poor girl, she is going to be raised in a broken home with shitty values.
TL;DR: Husband got a mental health crisis, rest of the family and woman blame him and divorce.
That is what I am saying, don't get me wrong the husband handled it wrong off the jump. Just damn she was quick as hell to not even try to save that shit lol. Him being scared of being baby trapped was dumb though after that many years together.
@@Wumbology378fr like she was married to him for 7 years and he fucked up big time once she destroyed her family. Smh 🤦♂
dude was lucky to have good people around him for him to realize how stupid he was. but apparently she doesnt have people around her to tell her going through with this divorce is fucking stupid. dude is right, she really is throwing 7+ years away. yes the dude would've done it too, but at least his reasoning was because of a possible legitimate trust issue. she wants to throw it away because - she lost trust in him because he didn't trust her? and you're divorcing over that??? when nothing actually happened on either side? she's fucked. dude started out looking like the one in the wrong here and feeling sorry for the girl, but by the end that was reversed
His trust issue was unfounded and indeed nonsense as they were actively trying to have a child.
Her issue wasn't unfounded, being ditched when pregnant is a legitimate trust issue.
Reddit loves divorce and would advocate for it for disputes over pinapple on pizza, but he is a fucking idiot and in the wrong here.
How on earth is thinking your wife baby trapped you with a baby you both planned...a legitimate trust issue?
But she doesn't have a legitimate trust issue when she's been accused of heinous character by her husband, he refused to communicate with her, and he abandoned her? 🤔😐
Of course you weak boys are gonna defend the weak boy 😂
Who the heck gave her the idea of divorce
Biggest BS story ever heard
It is so funny that y'all precieve her decision to divorce her husband as shallow when in fact, it almost made her loose her child because she was extremely emotionally distress (btw, the first trimester of prgenancy is the most vulnerable, and her a-hole husband just left her in that state).
And yes, divorce should be one of the options after a man literally abandoned a woman during her first trimester, and bringing her emotional trauma. And remember, just because they are married for years, it does not mean red flags would not occur anymore on that stage. She tried to reached out for him and fixing the relationship, he said no. So, she did the same, and yet y'all so pressed about it.
I told my fiance to communicate and talk our problems out, either call me out of my red flags and what our boundaries are, or to call the relationship off if I hurt him completely (i.e cheating or insulting to the point that would cause him trauma).
@@tinytina6056 Divorce was never off the table, it just appeared like she pulled the trigger on that quick. I am very interested in hearing his side of the story because sounds like once he left she was already done with him. Just saying if you've been married to someone for that long at least consider their mental health as a factor if their behavior changes drastically. That is the only concern I have about. It really sounds like he had a mental break and the people around him just looked down on him for it instead of trying to figure out what is going on in his head to just up and leave.
@@Wumbology378couldn't have said it better my friends
Now this is what I call juicy a$$ story
So......women can cancel pregnancies at their leisure and it's totally fine, but if a man is scared to be a fater he's a coward and gets shit all over?
Was it planned? The pregnancy? Cause it sounds like, from this story anyway, that you decided without his input to get pregnant.
Which btw, is exactly what baby trapping is. Which is why he confronted you about baby trapping him, because that's how he felt.
Or is it only female feelings that deserve consideration?
Misandrists
She said in the story, that they had _both_ been trying to get pregnant for the better part of a year, you nincompoop. Tell me you didn't fucking listen-
I'm more on the unfortunate ex-husband's side. I feel for both sides but feel for the ex husband more. But she did say they had been trying for a year to get into a pregnancy.
ok, incel, ok, now get back to the basemant
Well said
Damn, that girl is crazy and in the end she baby-trapped him
How when they both agree, they were trying for over year
She basically said “stay with your mommy because you’re not ready to be a daddy” lol
But seriously she’s an asshole. Men can’t show emotions so a lot of time things build up. Babies are a huge step in life so I understand how he could feel overwhelmed. How he carried it was wrong but no one is perfect. He stepped up and said he wanted to be in the babies life. But being an emotional female she decided to break up a family and continue the statistic of a fatherless home
Doesn’t a relationship need trust and communication? If he had come back on his own then maybe it would be alright but he was practically forced back by his mother. Who knows if he would have came back without his mom being around. What if something like this happens again and he doesn’t end up going to someone who can change his mind? a real man does not abandon his family and I can’t imagine the child being happy in a home where there is no trust.
If his mom did not FORCE him to apologize he would never do it. He’s pathetic and HE broke the marriage and trust. How he reacted to being scared was leaving that’s not a partner that’s a pathetic behavior and a man child. When me and my husband got pregnant he was scared but he talked to me like a normal partner. Boohoo to this guy it’s the consequences to his actions