So here is myy success story My ex broke up with me after 2 years of relationship cause she fellt that there was no spark between us. She actually broke because of loss of attraction. I cried, begged and pleaded for like 1 and a half month for her and wrote her like 20 letters but still she remained cold, rude and wanted to take police help to get rid of me. Then I saw Coach Lee's videos and did the No contact rule. I followed each and every words he said in his videos. As a result she came back to me after 20 days and contacted to me. I was so shocked and it worked like miracle! No contact rulle works and it drives your ex crazy!!..,at the moment I'm still following coach's instructions hopefully everything will be fine....Thank you Coach Lee
@@a.j.g1696 The break up happened cause I was not giving her much attention and didn't prioritize enough that's what caused loss of attraction.....she thought she was dating the wrong man which is me Soo she broke up saying we will never getting back together
@@silveraruchi2421 wait for around 45 to 75 days there's a great chance!! If this doesn't help then you should contact me or reply this comment...I'll help you
No contact with my ex saved my dignity, self esteem and made me stronger emotionally. He has reached out, but now with almost a year of NC protecting me, I realize that anyone who would throw me away like he did is not worth any more of my time or effort. I will let NC be my last word on his behavior. Love did not divorce me, a self absorbed narcissist did. I thought I wanted him back, but I got myself back instead. Thank you Lee.
No contact is HARD and it sucks. But it works. My no contact rule success story: overcoming heartbreak and moving on. I held on to my pride and dignity. Note, we had a great relationship and peaceful breakup/end. But I’m not the one who decided to throw things away. I deleted his contact info and removed him from my social media. As Coach Lee says, I “gracefully bowed out.” I can’t begin to describe how great it feels to NOT WANT an ex back after believing they were THE ONE. It took me 6 months of no contact to heal and move on. Stay strong everyone ❤
I have gain so much in no contact despite my ex coming back or not. It help me set things right again instead of me chasing him. It would be an utter disaster otherwise. Thank You Coach for listening to the insight in the comment section. We are all still learning as you can see.
Challenging, overwhelming at times, painful - oh yeah! But reacting as if you know your worth and value by giving them a breakup they've told you they want - definitely NOT a mistake!
Coach Lee, 5 years ago I went through a terrible breakup and I remember watching your videos for hours back to back to help me cope. Thank you for all that you do on this platform. Your advice helped me grieve and heal. I decided to stop dating alltogether. Havent dated since. I am now guarded and honestly do not want to get back in another relationship. Idk why but you popped up in my mind after all those years because your videos helped me.
Hi Tina, Coach Lee helped me after a 5 year relationship, and I also thought I would die without him. I made it! This was so heartbreaking for me. This happened a long time ago, and believe me, when you're ready, if you're ready, someday you'll want to date again. Everybody's different, this is part of my story. Coach Lee is the BEST!
My wife started having emotional affairs online after 8 years of marriage. I tried to talk with her, get her into counseling, get us into couples counseling, and she didn't want any of that. We divorced after 9 years. There really was nothing I could have done to prevent that, as I had been working a bunch of overtime due to the driver shortage and pandemic. It would have been nice if she would have communicated her feelings to me instead of her online friends. I still love her but really I love the version of her I built in my head. I don't even know who she is now. Got to stay strong and keep moving forward with my life to be the strongest I can be for my children. A true partner and best friend wouldn't devalue and discard you like you were garbage. Keep your chin up. Learn to Love yourself. ❤️👍
It is what it is. It gets better. I am so happy now. I didn't realize how terrible I was treated 😅. Been a year, I have custody, and I have a girlfriend that likes me, loves me,and RESPECTS me. It's weird. I always try my best to make her feel special. I treat her like a queen. But I am not used to being treated like I matter. I am so much better off now than with my ex. Even if I break up with my gf, it will still be a better relationship than my marriage 😂
60% of the time it works every time ! Ok seriously, leave them alone and give them what they want . I know it’s hard as hell but the only shot you have is to respect their wishes . I’ve seen this happen over and over , me included ! My parents were divorced in 1974, both remarried . In 1984 they got back together and still are to this day. Anything is possible!
29 days into NC after 4.5 years, started straight away after the blindside break up event (which was horrible - I got very emotional, cried, begged and got angry) really hoping he reaches out. These vids are keeping me sane 🤞🏼
No contact "worked" for me. It took 3 weeks. I begged for the first week, then I let go. I felt she had been heartless to ignore me and my pleadings and apologies. She reached out after the 2 weeks I used NC. So I prolonged my NC for another 3 months, and she showed up at my door apologetic. We spoke for 3 days, and now I'm in NC again. I got new girlfriends. I am letting her stew, perhaps indefinitely. If she's gone, she's gone.
I suppose you’re right Coach Lee, No contact is ideal at this point. It was a senseless breakup. I literally did all and everything I could throughout my relationship and it ended. At least this will salvage my dignity and self worth. I gave everything and maybe in her eyes I was just a pushover. I definitely feel I was disrespected and taken for granted because I overlooked things and was passive about so much. I really didn’t want it to fail. Somehow I feel responsible as to why she left. Thank you for reminding me I can come out of this with some dignity.
You are brilliant Lee.. I’ve just done the no contact rule as my boyfriend of 9 months described us as best friends … I was so hurt and did the No contact rule just holding enough anger to not contact him.. I focused on business , self healing, started boat sailing… it does feel like a hard gamble and I just kept telling myself.. I’m not in the sale.. he has to want me at full price…3 months later he has come back and has grown so much.. I must have made my self clear as he knows I’m never going to accept a low ball offer.. He’s the one now talking about moving in an getting married ..making plans for us We are like peas and carrots again and the future is much clearer and happiness is restored…. Thanks Lee .. your videos kept me commited and got me through❤️
Coach Lee you the man ! I can’t imagine if I didn’t use no contact I be in a terrible place today. No contact is for me ! I come from a household that never thought me things in life . Dignity is something I am learning on my mid 30s I live it I feel that I am worth as person now …. Thank you sir for all you do. Matter fact if it wasn’t no contact god protect the people out there but someone would tap out if they weren’t emotionally unstable. Been there. We start doing for the obvious reason for the person but I tell you after 3 months I can care less about if even reach out ! To little to late. Coach Lee know that you have save many life’s out there seriously. Thank you.
Great video. I think, most of us suffer after breakup it's because we do not forgive our exs for what they've done. We try to find out the why, when everything was great, why they sabotaged it, why they went cruel, why they did what they did, but as soon as you let go of the bitterness those emotions provoke, the sense of revenge, and think about how there are so many souls out there with new stories who deserve a good person like you, and you forgive your ex for what they did, everything becomes easier from there. Remember purpose of life is always bigger than reminiscing over past. Look ahead and find what you were sent here for.
It’s been a about 2 weeks of NC. We broke up august 14th for the simple fact that she was moving 2 hours away for college. We had a solid relationship, loved eachother a lot. I think she’s feeling like there might be something better for her out there and she’s testing the waters and it hurts like hell but I know we had a good relationship and she will realize it sooner or later. I really thank you coach lee for keeping me motivated to stay in no contact and not lose my mind during this hard time. Don’t know where I would be without finding these videos. Thank you.
Lets support Coach Lee by not skipping his ads.. Thank you for helping us to maintain our dignity and sanity during that most heartbreaking moments in our life,.
I thought NC was working and then today I realized she removed me on social media. It's only been 5 days so I hope she's just still processing everything. I will continue NC. I trust that everything will be OK for me. I can't rely on someone else to bring me happiness, I need to dig within because happiness is within all of us, not in another person. This has been the hardest day so far, really struggling..
No contact does work most of the time. Eventually they're going to message us in a sneaky way just to know if we're there, I experienced this recently, actually I experienced this last September and we broke up last 2020. Yes, no matter how long they will come back. However I know what's on her mind and I said what needs to be, I said it's nice talking to you but we have nothing to talk about, I wish you all the best and happiness in life. After that I block her and the silence was golden. She went nuts and desperately waiting at my work trying to talk to me. I told the security that I don't want to talk to her and they kicked her out. I'm going to be real here. There's nothing special about our exs that we want them back. Nothing at all. I was afraid of being alone but now that I'm old I realized that there are more important things than relationships. The real one won't run and wouldn't do such a thing to break up with us. I know it's hard and tough but in reality, they broke up with us because they don't see a future with us and that's enough or they're already doing behind the scenes. Dignity is more important than temporary stuff in life, especially relationship. Attachments are the cause of all suffering in life. I'm not saying cut people in our lives, I'm saying that accept them while they're with us and let them go whenever they want to cut us to their lives. We can blame ourselves once and after that move on. Focus on what's important, focus on our passions and what brings our lives value and along the way we will realized that this is all fed up to us. Be at peace and be happy, we can't expect people to make us happy and because of that we're doing all crazy things so we can get their approval. Be alone, it's ok to be alone and building ourselves to be the best versions of ourselves. Respect the fact that it didn't work and take it one day at a time. Trust no one. That's legit. Be good to people but don't give them so much that will eventually going to destroy your mental state. Purpose.
Yep coach Lee, you're exactly right. I couldn't take it and broke no contact and all it did was make things worse. Now she just completely ignores me, so now I'm starting no contact all over again, but this time it's permanent NC, it's time to move on and heal. I wish I would of listened to you coach Lee, but I didn't, so now I'm reaping what I sowed. It sucks, but I pray the Lord will comfort my soul. All I wanted was a good godly girlfriend/wife, smh. I never thought in a million years I would be going through this. 😔😞 I pray for everyone that is going through a breakup, that the Lord God comforts your soul, in Jesus Almighty name. Amen. ✝️🙏☦️💪💪💪 Coach Lee, you're doing a tremendous service for people, God bless you coach Lee, in Jesus Almighty name. ✝️🙏☦️💪💪💪
It wasn't a mistake for me. I did it by-the-book and 8 months later, he reached out for an actual conversation. I got the "how are you", "stuff back", and "miss you" texts but it took TIME. And now we're married. You just never know.
I am not tempted to text him, i just want to stop feeling sad and just be better... But days are so long... No matter what I do, i am having a hard time training my mind to put aside thoughts about him that won't help me at all. 😪
I've gone no contact 1.5 month after we split with my gf. It was a 4 year relationship proceeded by 1 year of being friends. There were problems that were making the life together Impossible, probably not ones that could not be conquered, but she surrendered and lost feelings, I did not, but accepted it. We tried to be friends as we still cared for each other but seeing each other made me miserable, so I decided to go NC until I will feel ready to continue the friendship without having expectations for getting back together. I said it may mean that we see each other for the last time. Well, it got emotional, I never have been so sad in my whole life and never seen her that sad. Nevertheless I will keep NC and see what happens. For now I feel better each day, still had no day without a single thought about her, and still sometimes wake up in the morning missing her. I tell myself that as long as this continues I am simply not ready to contact her. Watching these videos was helpful but I am going to stop for now as it makes me think about the break-up. I am leaving this comment for the future so thay maybe when I am completely over and I remember it I will give you an update. Reading updates from other people going through various breakups is what gives me the most hope that I will be okay and will find someone else at some point. Keeping fingers crossed for all of you. It was my first breakup so it hurts double as I don't have an empirical proof that I can fall in love in another person. So I am just going blind faith with that. We are all gonna make it. See you on the other side
I wish Coach Lee would make a video about after a long period of no contact, mine is 10 months. But maybe a video of from 6 months to a year in no contact, and as in my case below, your dumper ex starts indirectly communicating with you through pictures, and also trying to make you jealous with pictures, and emotionally everywhere, and emotionally extreme from anger to complete sobbing sadness. Like what does it all mean? I don’t think he has a video of this situation. I mean, I have my thoughts about what is going on. But I’m no expert, though I feel like I am to an extent after watching and reading so much of Coach Lee’s material. I think she’s freaking out because she realizes she still has feelings and she’s having a really tough time containing those feelings. And I’m not flinching and making any kind of contact with her. Anyway, it’s very fascinating.
To anyone going through some stuff right now just know this; you are not alone. My gf broke up with me right before the pandemic hit. I went through mental and emotional hell for many months. Eventually I gave up on the false hope and moved on. Got a new gf and started enjoying life again. Eventually that fizzled out and guess who came crawling back; My ex. The moral of the story is if you're waiting for your ex and counting the minutes you will never feel better. Let it go and move on. If it's meant to be it'll happen if it's not then something else great will happen. I been through this multiple times. Sometimes they come back sometimes they don't. Waiting for them is never the right answer. It's a bitter pill to swallow when your heart physically aches and yearns for them but trust me letting go putting everything that reminds you of them away and moving on is the right answer I promise.
Plainly No Contact is better than the alternative in most cases. What I was waiting for you to add, which you rarely (if ever) do, is that No Contact is by no means guaranteed to bring a dumper back to the table. My ex went NC very quickly after our final conversation, and as much as I respected him for that, I remained 100% done with the relationship. Some dumpers recognize when a relationship is irreparably broken and never worth rekindling, so they celebrate the loss of their exes and just move on with their lives.
No Contact is the way to go. I wish I would have known about it earlier in my life because God knows how many people I just suffocated when they wanted space. I was the kind of girlfriend who "fought for her man" and always wanted whoever to KNOW how much I LOVED them and I wouldnt GIVE UP on US. DONT FALL FOR IT. Its the wrong way to do it. Take it from me. I am day 5 into it after my boyfriend of 5 months is in a rebound that started 3 days after we fought. It is the most empowering feeling. I may be suffering right now but knowing HE doesnt know that gives me such strength. It gives you class, dignity and like Coach Lee says, its your only option and makes you not look GROSS. It also gives you time to realize what this person did to you and how they are STILL doing it without regard for your feelings. I can totally foresee myself not even wanting him when he tries to come back.
You know what’s worst we doing it for someone that is not even worth it. Hang in there your clarity will come . Trust me . Mind you when we broke up I was left homeless in the street . You can do it believe in yourself
it's difficult but benefit's you In the Long run. she split up with me last month and asked for time and space, now she's in a relationship with some guy that she works with, but I'm not phased by it in the slightest! she's on the rebound so she'll feel more miserable than I did☺️
4 year relationship ended by her, I messed up initially after she broke up with me and sent her several letters, and even tried to show up to her house with flowers trying to fix things. She told me to leave her alone and if I didn’t she would call the police. I haven’t contacted her for about two weeks now, I’m blocked from her life. She still is friends with my family and has our pics on her social medial still. These videos are what keep me sane, I’m going to trust the process and hopefully she will reach out to me again. My birthday is next week, I’m really curious if she will reach out, but I shouldn’t hope for it.
Be strong! Spend time creating other options for yourself. She'll either come back or you'll evolve into a better version of yourself and meet someone better suited to the new evolved you. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Try really hard to not form an expectation that she will reach out for your birthday. The more you expect, the more the disappointment can be if things don’t go how you expect. At this point I’m expecting to never hear from her again so that if I do, it’s a welcomed surprise
Bro trust me I just got out of a 4 year relationship it’s been 4 months no contact trust me it’s get better with time she didn’t wish me a happy birthday yesterday but I didn’t really care I lost myself at the last year of the relationship I got to focused on her. Find yourself, your purpose workout, get your money up, go to school, and please talk to other girls there so many out there distract your mind go to clubs plenty of chicks girls like that are just lost and ungrateful and thinking the grass is greener. It’s the forbidden fruit reached by the arm. Those kind of people are sick in the head lost. You are the prize but focus on you screw them there one person on this planet you will find someone ten times better everything happens for a reason. Trust me I called my ex a month after my relationship was over the way she acted was completely different it was a side I saw of her that I will never respect her again. Don’t contact them there on ego trip but there not shit your better trust me when they get rejected oh that will hit them hard.
She contact me twice today. The first time a cruel and cold call and next a more polite texting. 3 months of hard waiting. But I know there's a small and real hope. Thank you Coach Lee. Again, thank you
Thank you coach Lee you have helped me alot during my heart break 💔💔💔 I have been watching and following your RUclips channel for almost two years and now I have get over my ex and I don't want him anymore, now I'm dating again for 3 months now God bless me with a wonderful man in my life who respect me and appreciate me for who i am. I'm your number fun from Kenya coach Lee thanks for your help.
My ex broke things off due to his depression that became a problem when his career path changed suddenly. I have never initiated contact, but he has called, texted or visited me nearly every day since the break up 4 months ago. He has told me he still loves me, trusts me, etc. Is it wrong for me to just be supportive during his difficult time? We were together 2.5 years (first 9 months was all distance) We had a wonderful relationship...similar values, sense of humor, etc. Your videos are absolutely LIFE SAVERS to so many. Thank you! ❤
On day 697 waiting to hear back from my ex, no response yet. 😂 Tbh, the no contact rule is the best, for anyone reading this. This may help. I was with someone for 5 years engaged. She left me and from what I know had someone else behind the scenes. Was my soul mate and all that blah blah blah. I begged and prayed god to help 2 years ago to get her back, spend any moment of my life for months crying and being depressed watching videos to get her back. As time went on I felt like things never progressed and I was still depressed, I ended up getting a new job, making new friends, having fun encounters with new women and succeeding in every area of my life. I love life, I love myself and I’m so happy being single, I live in my own and I’m so fkn happy. I seriously NEVER want her back, if she came back I’d tell her to pisss off. Years ago, I begged for it. Be patient, your life will be better, focus on you, focus on growth and something new, you will appreciate it eventually. I can assure you. I was begging god to get her back, BEGGING, I couldent sleep for months, I was at rock bottom, and now, I’m the happiest ever, that can be you also. Just focus on you. Trust yourself and god
Hi Lee! This is a terrific video, and it makes a lot of sense. When you helped me years ago, I ALWAYS wait for your new videos and listen, (and read) a lot of the comments. You are a fantastic person to help all the people that really need you. I recommended 2 of my friends to you just recently. Just wanted to let you know that I love to hear your advice. Keep the vids coming. LOVE YOU..♥️💙
She won't come back folks. Don't take it personally. I too was in a long relationship. It's not your fault. What happens is, attraction fades and things simply don't work anymore. I bet a lot of you knew deep down that things weren't going to work with this person but stayed simply cause you loved them. Sometimes love isn't enough and in reality , this world is cruel. My most recent separation was brutal and the heartbreak I suffered was excruciating. I didn't think I was going to be affected as severely as I was but I was.
Rob, people get back together all the time. Denying that is denying reality. It doesn’t happen all the time, but it happens. So a blanket, generalizing statement like “She won’t come back folks,” is ignoring a heck of a lot.
@@RealCoachLee seems pretty hopeless on my end. Dumped, blocked everywhere and I'm thinking she's seeing somebody. I don't necessarily want her back but yah
@@RealCoachLee I did the text message you preach repeatedly…she answered JUST like you said she would by saying “thank you” and by the end of the week when I wasn’t talking to her she was on the verge of tears. I owe her coming back to you Coach. I tell anyone going through these situations to watch your videos.
@@robpz448 dude same shit happened to me. I was “blocked” everywhere. I can almost assure you one line is open, BUT don’t give in. Let her see a blank screen everyday.
My ex has a habit of disappearing, and after a month or so reappearing, making friendly conversation, apologizing for how she acted after our break up. Then vanishing again for an extended period of time. It's happebed 3 times now in the last 6 months. The constant abandonment is emotionally devastating, and it always tends to happen when ive reached a good place, then bam sends me back to damn near rock bottom everytime. I hope you can do a video on this type of situation. Either way, thank you for guiding me through the last half year Coach Lee.
I'm no expert at this, but someone who forms a "pattern" of coming & going every few months sounds like narcissistic behavior. Maybe she's seeing another supply. Who knows? I would NOT tolerate it and move on. Good luck to you.
I believe Coach Lee has stated that it's important for you to take your time e getting back together. Please, don't be so easy. Make her wait while you think it over. If she doesn't like it, too bad for her.
After 3 weeks i gave in and broke no contact sadly. I just wrote a short text saying that something i was doing reminded me of her and asked what shes up to. She left me on seen. Did i ruin it?
Currently going through a nasty breakup with my girlfriend. I was the one who finally announced last night that I don’t want to speak with them anymore. It wasn’t because I wanted to but I felt there was no choice because trust was gone and there was too much confusion on if we should stay together or not. I’ve done this no contact stuff many times , but honestly , it never becomes easier. I miss them a lot and find myself fighting the urge to reach out. Lots of crying and just pain , but it was my choice to have NC because I have to heal- we have to heal. We both were not strong enough to move on so I had to step up and do it for us. No contact is a great method. It hurts before it heals , but it definitely helps you to move on.
Ex left me after over 5 years.. I begged after we broke up and she was super rude and mean to me to the point of saying she hated me… I figured to end it at that she wanted to still talk to me when I was sick after told her nope.. and never responded.. been 10 months of no contact so far and and doubt she’s ever going to text me, she’s a manipulator. And blames everyone for everything she does! But these vids have helped me so much thank you !
There is absolutely no doubt that No Contact works; 1). not only to startle their attention back by means of the intrigue generated, but 2). by the sheer resolve it empowers you with because, after months of pain & uncertainty: now you actually have a PLAN. A dignified plan: you can simply 'go on your grind' and be 'you' again. With the enormous relief of this perspective, now you begin thinking: 'wait a minute... do I need THEM?' No Contact is the most effective means possible: nothing works more powerfully!
You're too awesome Coach Lee! I can't imagine anyone ever having anything negative to say about you. You're a miracle worker as far as I'm concerned. 👍
I have tried to 5 days to be the person of reason, found this video and was met by this response by my partner, So now im doing NC and following Coach Lee lol Yall wish me luck, because i do want this person back, but im focusing on me and my new job now.
Coach! I ran into an unexpected brick wall last night. I went to what used to be mine and my ex (52yr old) karaoke spot that she hadn't been back to in a whole year! I was poised, I smiled and spoke to her and her female company and kept it moving. Sat down a couple of tables back, heart was racing! So, she couldn't keep still. She went to the restroom multiple times just to see what I was doing... but I remained buried in my phone and remained social with other people that appreciated my singing. So at the end of the night she finally stopped and asked me "how are my cats"! We chatted, good vibes, I reciprocated. Karaoke was over, I told them both nice job singing. I held the door for the both of them and went our separate ways without saying goodnight 🤷♂️. Did I strike out?
I think thats a good thing boss, I'm no expert but it's okay to run into your ex naturally and have a pleasant exchange. Maybe she'll think about that and the good memories will come flooding back. I hope everything works in your favor. You handled it like a true gentleman
Broke up in June, did NC and she reached out to me on my birthday a month later. Then for some reason two months after that I decided to reach out to her and after a little bit of texting back and forth she left me on read. Pretty annoying but i just need to focus on myself
No contact really do work magic!! Coach I would like to suggest if you could do a video of signs that you have fully moved on from your ex and how to solve anger issues from the relationship
Hello Coach Lee. I am on Day 22 of NC. My ex has been delaying my stuff. Told her my free time (Day 10 of NC) but nothing from her. Then asked me a few days later when can we meet up, so she can return my things and so we could talk once and for all. (About everything that happened) That has been a week already. Btw she msg me two times already in NC. We broke up because her parents are against her being in a gay rship. She caved in and just followed her parents. We had a wonderful time we were happy and this break up is sudden. They just found out and went nuts on her. So i believed that this break up is decided fairly quickly and reactionary. I am wondering whether i should ff up about my stuff and the meet up? Just feeling anxious.
Hey Coach Lee 👋 I was waiting for your new video 😊 I have a story to share. I’m in NC 2 months and half. Two weeks ago I founded out, ex is checking me online. I felt it as big win. I got proof he’s thinking of me, maybe missing me and that’s enough for me, to feel, I’m not only one suffering. I’m working on myself. I’m doing great at work and I workout. And then it happened. Many men showed interest in me, but I’m not ready. And then someone different found me. He is showing big interest in me. I know I’m not ready yet, yet he shows more understanding and care in like a month, then my ex in 3 years. I will know him better, slowly. The best is, I discovered in NC, I can be ok completely alone 💪 Maybe ex will back, maybe new guy will be ok.. who knows, but no matter what… I will be fine ✅ thank you for all your videos. I watched them in tears. Thank you to help me go through hardest months in my life ❤️
DO NOT BREAK NO CONTACT! I contacted my ex girlfriend after over 2 months NC. To this day she's just ghosted me. Hasn't even blocked me. Don't risk making yourself look like an idiot or needy or weak by reaching out. It's not worth it. Unless something serious pops up just stay in no contact indefinitely. If they reach out, great. No contact is for you. All you can and should do for them is respect their decision. Work on yourself, rediscover lost passions and find new ones.
Coach Lee. Thank you. No contact works. You gave me the motivation and courage to “let her go.” After begging, crying, and pleading for a month I decided to implement no contact. 8 days later she comes back.
I get no contact is supposed to work by getting the dumpee to grow themselves and themselves in a better position mentally if not physically but I think a lot of us who were the ones dumped are frustrated and anxious bc for the vast majority of success stories out there where the dumper came back it’s been the guy dumping the girl where as girls don’t come back if they dumped you. Obviously there are exceptions but it seems to be the norm rather than the exception. I think a lot of us guys would appreciate a video whether by you, or others who promote the use of no contact after a break up, that really focuses on the anxiety and physiological issues faced by men who’ve been the ones dumped and how to best handle the situation. It’s a fact that men and women function differently and have different emotional and psychological tendencies that I think get overlooked in many of these videos.
As a female dumper, I can tell you that I didn't necessarily want to do it, but was fucking tired of being disrespected. I've gone back but with no communication, nothing actually gets resolved. And then I would get gaslighted and my feelings were invalidated. Eventually, you get tired of trying, and you just stop. Clearly I'm not as important to this guy as he claimed. So, from the female dumper perspective, they may not come back because you may have given them the perception they're not important enough to work on the relationship so they will find someone who will.
4 month of no contact. I broke it after 2 month, to ask him about the adress of a restaurant we were together. I got really fast a neutral/positive respond. Since then I am back in NC. I have no idea how he is feeling, because he never post or posted anything on social media. I still miss him, but it gets better everyday and I can already imagine a future without him.
1 month post break up now. 2 week no contact. At the day of the breakup i said yes to being just friends. Less than a week later I told him we had to talk and told him he ruined me and I couldn't be friends with him and cut all contact. One week later I sent him an email telling him I don't hate him, I forgive him, and I wish him the best. I also told him I needed some time to do some healing. He replied that it almost made him cry reading that and he would still want to be around me as a friend when I feel like talking to him again. That was two weeks ago. It's not the normal no-contact, but I like to think I did my best. The first week was terrible. I kept refreshing my email, looking if he had sent me a new one. The second one hasn't been easy either, but it is getting better. I am not ready to talk to him yet. I still dream about him in my dreams, and in my dreams I'm still angry at him. I am still sad. I scream at him for breaking my heart. But he never takes me back in my dreams, and I know he won't. I even talked to my friend in my dream, saying that i shouldn't have been talking with him yet because im not ready. I still need another two weeks. I hope to be mentally ready to talk to him in two weeks. I want to sound happy when I talk to him again. I know I don't need him, but I still want him. He is the kind of person I can actually imagine spending the rest of my life with, I love his family, my family loves him, everything was perfect and it's going to be really difficult to ever find a person like that again. The only thing wrong with our relationship was that he didn't want me anymore. And that hurts. I have accepted it, but being OK with it is difficult. And I need to be OK with it before I can talk to him again. No-contact is really helping me. I just hope it is working for him too.
My wife of 18 years dumped me a few weeks ago. I moved in the basement and live there while she lives upstairs. We do have to share the kitchen but I try to cook/eat at different times than her. This is temporary until we sell the house and sort the divorce (in which we do have to talk). It is hard to have NC while living in the same house (temporarily anyway) and having to deal with the divorce. What are your suggestions? Wait until I move out for NC or try as much as possible to do it now? help appreciated. Thanks, I love your videos. They helped me a lot!
It's good & bad. Pros: I did it to prepare myself for the unknown & gain self worth. I will not beg. Cons: It's unnecessary. My next relationship? If he asked for NC? See ya. I have no time for the mental game. So yes I went through hell for 30 days NC. Set up Family/Mar Therapy and we both agreed on it. On Day 35, he transformed into a horrible being saying "No. You were never the love of my life & tossed my belongings at my sister's front door." 7 yrs of deep love & friendship. Yes it broke me but thank god for the 30 days NC I already prepared myself. 2 weeks of that dreadful ordeal (his wonderful goodbye), I feel much better. Meditation in dry hot sauna & lotsa hot yoga. Love urself more & focus on YOU only. The rest? Karma. Thank you Coach Lee, you got me through many cried nights. Even Tofu ran of spit kissing me whenever I cried
Just create new options for yourself and someone fantastic will come along and if it does turn out that your ex wants to come back he will see the new evolved you which will make your relationship with him "exciting" if you want to consider taking him back. Good luck!
@@Rottimail I have already accepted it & choose to forgive forget & let go but when I meditate bc I feel the heavy in my heart not knowing why he treated me so horrible when I did nothing wrong. Saying goodbye peaceful is all I asked for. Thanks so much
He reached out 3 times... I ignored but eventually replied to a question (he asked if we had lost power when the hurricane hit us) I replied casually with "luckily we only lost power for a little while"... He opened and did not respond. What does this mean? He's been reaching out and when I finally reply he doesn't try to talk or start a conversation... Does he not know what to do and is conflicted??
Oh my goodness… when I watch your videos oftentimes there is an annoying ad of some guy screaming that no contact is a mistake. My thumb cannot hit the skip button fast enough.
@@pdh020386 yes!! He stresses me out- he is so intense and loud lol. I am trying to decrease my anxiety, not increase it. This is one of the reasons I appreciate Coach Lee. He is articulate and has a calming, level demeanor.
these videos of yours have been a godsend. i dont know if we'll ever get back together but there is a glimmer of hope since shes reached out to me albeit bitchy in the months since she broke up with me. complicated after 14 years. im definetely not willing to accept her seeing other people and ive told her as much. coach lee youve been a lifeline. a coach is exactly what I needed cause youve been able to put into words a lot of the internal dialogue that has been racking my brain; making me depressed and overthinking ever little detail post breakup. she wasnt exactly great to me but I loved her anyways (thats how i was raised?). could i do better, probably. Probably could everyone else reading this. At the end of the day both parties need to be willing to compromise. she wasnt- and now im in hell- doesnt make a whole hell of a lot of sense. im trying to be open to other things as sure as shit espouses she is. some people in this world i think are just inherantly selfish and moreover think they are going to live forever. im afraid i fell in love with a narcissist. i love her, but its been fairly brutal. Why wont she just work on things with me together?? maybe 2 sentences ago i answered my question 2 sentences ago. My financial situation went south during the pandemic and i took up drinking a lot. she subsequently bailed on me after 14 years. things were never ideal but it hurt.
I seen one of those such videos that you were talking about the other night. The coach on there was saying something about having a course about how to communicate and build a stronger connection with somebody that's broke up with you even somebody that's blocked you. They said that if they blocked you on all avenues of communication try sending them a letter. And I'm sitting there shaking my head thinking how ridiculous is that. As we all know when someone blocks you especially on all forms that's their way of saying it's over they don't want to talk to you they're done they're out even if it's only a temporary thing at that point in time they're done they're out they don't want to hear from you. So the idea of trying to communicate with them when that's going on as I said before is just ridiculous I do agree with you that no contact does work like you said maybe it doesn't fix the issues and the relationship but it at least makes the other person interested enough to want to try much more than if you would pester them. And another thing that people may also consider if they don't follow no contact another possible outcome could be is that the x that they won't leave alone especially if they live in a small town May spread it around how that person will not leave them alone or maybe everybody in town will see how they won't leave them alone and they'll be painted as a stalker and that will hurt or possibly prevent their chances all together of finding another relationship in that area after they've got over the person that they're chasing now because of how they are acting with their EX
i complety agree with you Lee no use to force the process my ex split up with me one year and half ago I gave the breakup just walked away and say good bye..I don't know if she will ever come back to me..but for me I have self respect and love of myself..so this is a good video .no contact and radio silence..
3 months of separation from my ex we kept in contact the whole time her being hot and cold me begging pleading we where together 8 years and the relationship was amazing at times and a deep rooted connection but there was also toxic times as well she got fed up and left 3 months ago . 6 days ago I gave her a ultimatum eaither we work it out or go our separate ways forever . She told me she don’t appreciate my ultimatum and goodnight I I went into no contact and found out she’s seeing someone else I’m broken and hope I heal . I hope someday we can talk because she was my best friend I will never let my guard down again or trust anyone
This is exactly right, how can you work it out if your blocked has I am and talk it over it's impossible, blocking someone is basically saying go away I don't want you to contact me, no contact is the only way
She’s ghosted me in the past for a bit of time here and there. Last time tho it was almost a year. A month ago she came back in my life and after 3 weeks she ghosted me again after I opened up a bit more about how I felt even though she opened up first days prior. I unfollowed her and removed her as a follower and set my account to private. I don’t know what to do else though. I’ve loved her so much for years. I want to go to her or call her and just try to talk it out. I’ve forced myself not to. She always came back time and time again, but this time after a week of no response, she liked my Instagram posts still, I removed her as a follower and unfollowed. I don’t know what to do. I feel so broken again. I’m scared this time she’ll never come back. The idea of her with someone else destroys me too.
I met my ex online June 10. He is (or was) I don't know right now working in Ireland and I live in Toronto, so it was a long distance relationship, just texting, sending each other videos and pictures. It was an instant and strong connection. We were getting married 2 days after he first messaged me on Facebook. And I thought I never would get married again. I have been divorced since 2005, and have just not met the right man. But this man took my breath away in every way and I was seriously considering moving down to where he lives, North Carolina. My children are grown, but my son is still with me. He is high functioning autistic. I met his young son online, my life changed at lightning speed. We grew to have issues which I won't mention here (would take too long) and he decided to end it after 3 1/2 months. His words were "if you message me, I won't be responding to your messages." Ouch! And that went from telling each other how we loved each other 5 times a day. You might ask "how can you fall so much in love with someone who you have never met, just texting and long distance. Well, it happened to me. I am devastated and binge watching these videos. Thanks Coach Lee for keeping me in no contact mode. Its only been 5 days but it feels like 5 years. I definitely want the relationship back and think our issues were just unlikely circumstances for the two of us. Hoping no contact works and my ex finds his way back to me! This man is the one!
Coach you were 100% right. I stayed in no contact since April and recently did the opposite this month and may have made it worse. I did say alot in reaching out but the ex said they have no interest KG
Love every videos of you coach lee i feel i am becoming more strong now and can stand alone without expecting anything from my ex...i am using the nc rule for almost a year,,and since my ex seems doesn't interested in fixing our relationship, i gave him up..if he doesn't care , i don't care...for now i am just giving all my attentions with my 3 children...they are the reason why i need to become more strong and strong everyday! They need me that's why i need to focus on their future than to think my deadbeat ex...i'm not sure but i found some symptoms of npd with my ex and that's the reason i made a firm decision for my self that this is a blessing to get out of toxic person...thanks coach lee for your videos... that's make me strong! Thank God for finding your videos! Good luck and more power to your show! This is a blessing to those dumpee like me!
I did not beg but I hovered for 10 weeks. I took the breadcrumbs, gave the fix and eventually she said horrible things. In no contact now 5 weeks. Feel great. Don't want her back
Coach thank you. I have been in NC 60 days, break was easy. I gave it as asked. I reach out because I wanted to. I choose that time to break it. I have no regrets. Other than that I don't do chasing or anything else. I always I ask myself 'what a mature me will do.?'
29 days into no contact, we were in limerence for about 3 months. Acted like we were in an official relationship even though we weren’t. Said all the things we shouldn’t have. Not sure if she will come back on her own, I know I don’t have much leverage so I might need to reach out first eventually. I bought the kit, not even for this situation but for future breakups and difficulties.
What about when they act angry toward you and give the cold shoulder and you have no idea what you've done wrong: do you ask "what the hell?" or just remain silent until they break?
One of two: Confront them directly and state it clearly but politely. Say that you don’t want this to hurt your relationship so you want to clear the air on it. Or, if they do this a lot, back off and wait for her to initiate.
@@RealCoachLee He's been doing this a lot and I think it's because he doesn't want me ruining his chances with someone else (he's very secretive and doesn't want people knowing and therefore talking about our past). I'll be in NC until he decides to approach me, but even then, I think I'm done with this one. Thanks, Coach Lee!
It's been over two months since my ex broke off a two year relationship. She had been breaking off intimate encounters, and slowly spending less time with me after having moved to a friend's house to get away from my parents for a while. She had always loved traveling, but took time off to marry me so we could travel together after I finished school. But, she didn't want to marry me anymore so she could travel by herself because I guess I had been emotionally troubled. I don't expect her to come back, and I didn't accept any of her breadcrumbs. It's debilitating to see love so pure and innocent turn into something unstable and hurtful. She seems happy from what I've seen on social media, and I don't expect her to reach out. I've finished school and am at a loss on what to do with myself, as me and her plans were a big part of my formative years as a young adult. I hope I can escape the grief and find someone more accepting of me.
Hey coach, been watching all your videos and I have a very unique situation I live in the UK and my girlfriend recently moved to the USA to study Me and her were madly in love, to the point she nearly didn’t leave but me being supportive told her she should go however She started saying that she didn’t like it there and was having a lot of doubts about whether she belongs there, about 2 weeks after that me and her had a big talk about the future and we decided to break up but she wanted to keep talking and I thought it would be too hard so I went for no contact, that only lasted for a day before we talked again and decided that was too hard and that we loved each other too much, but then a week later SHE turned around and said that us talking made her decisions for the future and her feelings too hard and that we shouldn’t talk and that she still loved me, I disagreed as we’d already tried it but accepted that amd told her I love her too and we haven’t spoken since My question is whether no contact now would be a good idea or should I try again again, I want her to know she can come home to study and things can work here but I feel no contact would push her into thinking she lost me and there’s no point coming home
My girlfriend left me 2 weeks ago after 9 months together. I tried during the relationship, she wouldn't fully commit and ended up ending things. Truth be told I was too nice to her and she didn't deserve that for how much effort she actually put in to spending time with me. When she shut the door for the last time I decided my time putting in effort or chasing her was done. 2 weeks and still no word. Speaks volumes i'm afraid. Likely another guy on the scene is my guess. Proud I haven't text her as she no longer deserves my attention
Hi during the first month of break up. It was obv that he was in a relief period but then he got in an accident and had to be the one to bring him to the hosp. After that he kept me on contact. Updates tex and calls/video calls. However. It was then almost a month of that when I learned abt NC. Then applied it since nov 04. Broke NC on 13th then back on it again up to this day. Was I wrong to be in nc? I still think that it was good that I went NC bcos that 1 month of back in communications felt that I am needy and attachd vs what I am now.
I've started and restarted no contact a bunch of times and am now on day 13 of my last try. The last time my ex and I spoke (13 days ago) she said she "hasn't even been able to consider letting me go" and she "can't commit but can't let go" and that she is having an internal battle with herself. I'm putting a lot of blame on myself, but 3 months after the break up am I fooling myself to think she can commit? Since the break up I've lost 55 lbs, workout, don't drink, got on new depression meds, started therapy, work more hours, and socialize more. Flip side of that coin is I also had a bad mental episode that hospitalized me and she came to visit. Really reaching for some hope here, I don't know why my self work hasn't resulted in self love but I guess that's times job and not mine.
Hi! My and my ex had been dating for 3 month. He broke up out of the blue, after seeing and talking to each other nearly every day for 3 months He stopped because he didn't feel romance for me. He asked if i wanted to stay in touch, but i did not reply, gor upset, and then he left. At least i didn't beg or got very mad. I realised after the break up i was still dealing with the death of someone i loved, and was not opening at all with my ex. Now that I feel like I can change things but i am doing NC... I feel like I cannot stay in NC for a long time in my situation, I know what i need to do to show him relationship was good. But i also don't feel strong enough right now. It has only be one week of break up, so it's short ofc... Question... no contact is neceswary right now, but i think i should break it within 2 weeks...
I have to say: It worked for me. Thanks for all your advice. Im in the same position again. With the same person, a long distance-relationship and bad communication. I broke up because he was indecisive again and again. We love each other But I had to leave and do NC. If he is not coming back and have changed for the better, I still feel that I won because I was true to myself. A huge Thanks from a bis fan in Denmark❤❤❤❤❤
I have to confess that I displayed low value behaviour when my ex dumped me 2 and a half years ago. I would go to his place to talk. A couple of times I drunk called him. What made me stop calling him was the night I called on a public payphone. He said hi then he asked how I had his number. I remembered it from when we were together. Then he asked where I was calling from. I told him. I could tell he was not happy. I stopped after that night. That was over 6 months since I have spoken to me.I know NC is great. I broke it too many times. I also know he is not coming back. It is what it is. Please don't judge me as a horrible person. I take full responsibility for my low value actions back then. No more.
Question for you Coach Lee. Two years ago, my guy broke up with me. I did the wrong things, trying to get answers, apologizing, blad blah blah... Now, he's been following me on FB, commenting, liking, laughing emogis, etc. I was very polite but didn't push. Then he starts messaging me. I have had conversations with him via messenger (not the phone) and only one instigated by me. He said he's been dreaming about me. So I sent him a friend request. Nothing. Everything closed down. Did I make a mistake? That's my question. I'm not asking him why or even initiating anything.
(5yo relationship, begged at the begging and kept contact and even went out a number of times for about a month) Hey, my ex reached out a couple of times to ask how i am doing and stuff and even said that she can't wait to go out with me(while drunk tho). I have been doing no contact for just about 2 weeks but kept our snap streak. Should I stop the snap streak now? If so, should I tell her that I'll stop? (She's been complimenting me and been nice whenever I would sent snaps.)
You are right, Lee... sometimes it is what you do NOT know. In my case he was seeing not only me, but 2 others. Not at same time. The one he really wanted was undecided. So he bided his time and got some relief and likely self-esteem while seeing others. He was a true gentleman and kind, but deceptive. I understand, but do not condone it! After 2 months of dating, I found out that he and HER are to be married in late October. 17 yrs. his senior!! She "changed her mind." And I am not considered ( to be ) young. At least not NOW!! 50 years of hoping and there was always some woman that had "one up" on me.
It works. Coach Lee helped me many times before. Back when I had to do it to heal and take my energy back and focused on myself. The ex often responds when you actually walk away, after some time (1 to 6+ months, depends on what happened at the breakup event and the relationship itself), but do it for yourself ultimately. Regardless, it works. Let your ex do the work to get back. No contact works.
I broke up with my ex fiancée in July. Our relationship was 4 1/2 years. My fiancé agreed to the break up. I realise I made a mistake, and have been fighting for 3 months to change her mind. My fiancé blocked me on Facebook, mobile, landline, but said we could stay in contact but only through email. We have stayed in contact through email for 14 weeks. Now the contact has almost come to a stop, she keeps saying I love you and I don’t know what the future holds, and she wants space and time & won’t talk or see me. Says she wants to see me again but when she is ready. Is it too late coach Lee to start no contact now?
So here is myy success story
My ex broke up with me after 2 years of relationship cause she fellt that there was no spark between us. She actually broke because of loss of attraction. I cried, begged and pleaded for like 1 and a half month for her and wrote her like 20 letters but still she remained cold, rude and wanted to take police help to get rid of me. Then I saw Coach Lee's videos and did the No contact rule. I followed each and every words he said in his videos. As a result she came back to me after 20 days and contacted to me. I was so shocked and it worked like miracle! No contact rulle works and it drives your ex crazy!!..,at the moment I'm still following coach's instructions hopefully everything will be fine....Thank you Coach Lee
im happy 4u man if you dont mind me asking howd the breakup happen?
hope mine turn out this way begged for 1month he's too stubborn I gave up. being in no contact for a month now
Bookmark your comment. Let us know about the final result in a year please :) I'm curious. You are just at the start of it.
@@a.j.g1696 The break up happened cause I was not giving her much attention and didn't prioritize enough that's what caused loss of attraction.....she thought she was dating the wrong man which is me Soo she broke up saying we will never getting back together
@@silveraruchi2421 wait for around 45 to 75 days there's a great chance!! If this doesn't help then you should contact me or reply this comment...I'll help you
No contact is your opportunity to regain your power and confidence back and to move away from being so attached. That alone can change the dynamics.
No contact with my ex saved my dignity, self esteem and made me stronger emotionally. He has reached out, but now with almost a year of NC protecting me, I realize that anyone who would throw me away like he did is not worth any more of my time or effort. I will let NC be my last word on his behavior. Love did not divorce me, a self absorbed narcissist did. I thought I wanted him back, but I got myself back instead.
Thank you Lee.
This is powerful you thought you wanted them back but you got yourself back instead. Wow I love that. !! That hits home and is powerful
Proud of you 👏🏻 well done girl
No contact is HARD and it sucks. But it works.
My no contact rule success story: overcoming heartbreak and moving on. I held on to my pride and dignity. Note, we had a great relationship and peaceful breakup/end. But I’m not the one who decided to throw things away.
I deleted his contact info and removed him from my social media. As Coach Lee says, I “gracefully bowed out.”
I can’t begin to describe how great it feels to NOT WANT an ex back after believing they were THE ONE. It took me 6 months of no contact to heal and move on.
Stay strong everyone ❤
I have gain so much in no contact despite my ex coming back or not. It help me set things right again instead of me chasing him. It would be an utter disaster otherwise. Thank You Coach for listening to the insight in the comment section. We are all still learning as you can see.
Challenging, overwhelming at times, painful - oh yeah! But reacting as if you know your worth and value by giving them a breakup they've told you they want - definitely NOT a mistake!
Coach Lee, 5 years ago I went through a terrible breakup and I remember watching your videos for hours back to back to help me cope. Thank you for all that you do on this platform. Your advice helped me grieve and heal. I decided to stop dating alltogether. Havent dated since. I am now guarded and honestly do not want to get back in another relationship. Idk why but you popped up in my mind after all those years because your videos helped me.
You free for coffee, Tina?
Hi Tina, Coach Lee helped me after a 5 year relationship, and I also thought I would die without him. I made it! This was so heartbreaking for me. This happened a long time ago, and believe me, when you're ready, if you're ready, someday you'll want to date again. Everybody's different, this is part of my story. Coach Lee is the BEST!
His voice is soothing....
My wife started having emotional affairs online after 8 years of marriage. I tried to talk with her, get her into counseling, get us into couples counseling, and she didn't want any of that. We divorced after 9 years. There really was nothing I could have done to prevent that, as I had been working a bunch of overtime due to the driver shortage and pandemic. It would have been nice if she would have communicated her feelings to me instead of her online friends. I still love her but really I love the version of her I built in my head. I don't even know who she is now. Got to stay strong and keep moving forward with my life to be the strongest I can be for my children. A true partner and best friend wouldn't devalue and discard you like you were garbage. Keep your chin up. Learn to Love yourself. ❤️👍
Why do women do this? I'm sorry to hear this
It is what it is. It gets better. I am so happy now. I didn't realize how terrible I was treated 😅. Been a year, I have custody, and I have a girlfriend that likes me, loves me,and RESPECTS me. It's weird. I always try my best to make her feel special. I treat her like a queen. But I am not used to being treated like I matter. I am so much better off now than with my ex. Even if I break up with my gf, it will still be a better relationship than my marriage 😂
60% of the time it works every time ! Ok seriously, leave them alone and give them what they want . I know it’s hard as hell but the only shot you have is to respect their wishes . I’ve seen this happen over and over , me included ! My parents were divorced in 1974, both remarried . In 1984 they got back together and still are to this day. Anything is possible!
True words bro
🎉 wow! That is a beautiful Success story... No Contact does work.
29 days into NC after 4.5 years, started straight away after the blindside break up event (which was horrible - I got very emotional, cried, begged and got angry) really hoping he reaches out. These vids are keeping me sane 🤞🏼
Why he brokeup with you?
Did u identify ur problem?
Girls have the 90% problem nowadays.
Girl should take accountability.
please dont wait for someone who does that to you
you want to be with someone who wants to be with you
Update?
No contact "worked" for me. It took 3 weeks. I begged for the first week, then I let go. I felt she had been heartless to ignore me and my pleadings and apologies. She reached out after the 2 weeks I used NC. So I prolonged my NC for another 3 months, and she showed up at my door apologetic. We spoke for 3 days, and now I'm in NC again. I got new girlfriends. I am letting her stew, perhaps indefinitely. If she's gone, she's gone.
Cruel but sweet 😂
Beautiful
I suppose you’re right Coach Lee, No contact is ideal at this point. It was a senseless breakup. I literally did all and everything I could throughout my relationship and it ended. At least this will salvage my dignity and self worth. I gave everything and maybe in her eyes I was just a pushover. I definitely feel I was disrespected and taken for granted because I overlooked things and was passive about so much. I really didn’t want it to fail. Somehow I feel responsible as to why she left. Thank you for reminding me I can come out of this with some dignity.
Move on
You are brilliant Lee.. I’ve just done the no contact rule as my boyfriend of 9 months described us as best friends … I was so hurt and did the No contact rule just holding enough anger to not contact him.. I focused on business , self healing, started boat sailing… it does feel like a hard gamble and I just kept telling myself.. I’m not in the sale.. he has to want me at full price…3 months later he has come back and has grown so much.. I must have made my self clear as he knows I’m never going to accept a low ball offer.. He’s the one now talking about moving in an getting married ..making plans for us
We are like peas and carrots again and the future is much clearer and happiness is restored….
Thanks Lee .. your videos kept me commited and got me through❤️
Liz, please email my assistant Amber with your story if you would. We have questions and would appreciate using an anonymous testimonial.
@@RealCoachLee
I will.. can I get the email please…🥰
Coach Lee you the man ! I can’t imagine if I didn’t use no contact I be in a terrible place today. No contact is for me ! I come from a household that never thought me things in life . Dignity is something I am learning on my mid 30s I live it I feel that I am worth as person now …. Thank you sir for all you do. Matter fact if it wasn’t no contact god protect the people out there but someone would tap out if they weren’t emotionally unstable. Been there. We start doing for the obvious reason for the person but I tell you after 3 months I can care less about if even reach out ! To little to late. Coach Lee know that you have save many life’s out there seriously. Thank you.
Great video. I think, most of us suffer after breakup it's because we do not forgive our exs for what they've done. We try to find out the why, when everything was great, why they sabotaged it, why they went cruel, why they did what they did, but as soon as you let go of the bitterness those emotions provoke, the sense of revenge, and think about how there are so many souls out there with new stories who deserve a good person like you, and you forgive your ex for what they did, everything becomes easier from there. Remember purpose of life is always bigger than reminiscing over past. Look ahead and find what you were sent here for.
It’s been a about 2 weeks of NC. We broke up august 14th for the simple fact that she was moving 2 hours away for college. We had a solid relationship, loved eachother a lot. I think she’s feeling like there might be something better for her out there and she’s testing the waters and it hurts like hell but I know we had a good relationship and she will realize it sooner or later. I really thank you coach lee for keeping me motivated to stay in no contact and not lose my mind during this hard time. Don’t know where I would be without finding these videos. Thank you.
How are you now? I'm on 3 months of nc. We broke up Aug 7th. I'm good now. Excited about my future.
Update?
This method really works. It makes you wean off of contacting and whining begging someone back. Gained a new subscriber!!!
Lets support Coach Lee by not skipping his ads.. Thank you for helping us to maintain our dignity and sanity during that most heartbreaking moments in our life,.
I thought NC was working and then today I realized she removed me on social media. It's only been 5 days so I hope she's just still processing everything. I will continue NC. I trust that everything will be OK for me. I can't rely on someone else to bring me happiness, I need to dig within because happiness is within all of us, not in another person. This has been the hardest day so far, really struggling..
No contact does work most of the time. Eventually they're going to message us in a sneaky way just to know if we're there, I experienced this recently, actually I experienced this last September and we broke up last 2020. Yes, no matter how long they will come back. However I know what's on her mind and I said what needs to be, I said it's nice talking to you but we have nothing to talk about, I wish you all the best and happiness in life. After that I block her and the silence was golden. She went nuts and desperately waiting at my work trying to talk to me.
I told the security that I don't want to talk to her and they kicked her out.
I'm going to be real here.
There's nothing special about our exs that we want them back. Nothing at all.
I was afraid of being alone but now that I'm old I realized that there are more important things than relationships.
The real one won't run and wouldn't do such a thing to break up with us.
I know it's hard and tough but in reality, they broke up with us because they don't see a future with us and that's enough or they're already doing behind the scenes.
Dignity is more important than temporary stuff in life, especially relationship.
Attachments are the cause of all suffering in life.
I'm not saying cut people in our lives, I'm saying that accept them while they're with us and let them go whenever they want to cut us to their lives.
We can blame ourselves once and after that move on.
Focus on what's important, focus on our passions and what brings our lives value and along the way we will realized that this is all fed up to us.
Be at peace and be happy, we can't expect people to make us happy and because of that we're doing all crazy things so we can get their approval.
Be alone, it's ok to be alone and building ourselves to be the best versions of ourselves.
Respect the fact that it didn't work and take it one day at a time.
Trust no one. That's legit.
Be good to people but don't give them so much that will eventually going to destroy your mental state.
Purpose.
Yep coach Lee, you're exactly right. I couldn't take it and broke no contact and all it did was make things worse. Now she just completely ignores me, so now I'm starting no contact all over again, but this time it's permanent NC, it's time to move on and heal. I wish I would of listened to you coach Lee, but I didn't, so now I'm reaping what I sowed. It sucks, but I pray the Lord will comfort my soul. All I wanted was a good godly girlfriend/wife, smh. I never thought in a million years I would be going through this. 😔😞
I pray for everyone that is going through a breakup, that the Lord God comforts your soul, in Jesus Almighty name. Amen. ✝️🙏☦️💪💪💪
Coach Lee, you're doing a tremendous service for people, God bless you coach Lee, in Jesus Almighty name. ✝️🙏☦️💪💪💪
It wasn't a mistake for me. I did it by-the-book and 8 months later, he reached out for an actual conversation. I got the "how are you", "stuff back", and "miss you" texts but it took TIME. And now we're married. You just never know.
Always nice to hear success stories like this
Wow
I am not tempted to text him, i just want to stop feeling sad and just be better... But days are so long... No matter what I do, i am having a hard time training my mind to put aside thoughts about him that won't help me at all. 😪
Did u get back with your ex I’m 13 days NC I’m going crazy
I've gone no contact 1.5 month after we split with my gf. It was a 4 year relationship proceeded by 1 year of being friends. There were problems that were making the life together Impossible, probably not ones that could not be conquered, but she surrendered and lost feelings, I did not, but accepted it.
We tried to be friends as we still cared for each other but seeing each other made me miserable, so I decided to go NC until I will feel ready to continue the friendship without having expectations for getting back together. I said it may mean that we see each other for the last time.
Well, it got emotional, I never have been so sad in my whole life and never seen her that sad.
Nevertheless I will keep NC and see what happens.
For now I feel better each day, still had no day without a single thought about her, and still sometimes wake up in the morning missing her. I tell myself that as long as this continues I am simply not ready to contact her.
Watching these videos was helpful but I am going to stop for now as it makes me think about the break-up. I am leaving this comment for the future so thay maybe when I am completely over and I remember it I will give you an update.
Reading updates from other people going through various breakups is what gives me the most hope that I will be okay and will find someone else at some point. Keeping fingers crossed for all of you.
It was my first breakup so it hurts double as I don't have an empirical proof that I can fall in love in another person. So I am just going blind faith with that. We are all gonna make it. See you on the other side
I wish Coach Lee would make a video about after a long period of no contact, mine is 10 months. But maybe a video of from 6 months to a year in no contact, and as in my case below, your dumper ex starts indirectly communicating with you through pictures, and also trying to make you jealous with pictures, and emotionally everywhere, and emotionally extreme from anger to complete sobbing sadness. Like what does it all mean? I don’t think he has a video of this situation.
I mean, I have my thoughts about what is going on. But I’m no expert, though I feel like I am to an extent after watching and reading so much of Coach Lee’s material.
I think she’s freaking out because she realizes she still has feelings and she’s having a really tough time containing those feelings. And I’m not flinching and making any kind of contact with her. Anyway, it’s very fascinating.
To anyone going through some stuff right now just know this; you are not alone. My gf broke up with me right before the pandemic hit. I went through mental and emotional hell for many months. Eventually I gave up on the false hope and moved on. Got a new gf and started enjoying life again.
Eventually that fizzled out and guess who came crawling back; My ex. The moral of the story is if you're waiting for your ex and counting the minutes you will never feel better. Let it go and move on. If it's meant to be it'll happen if it's not then something else great will happen. I been through this multiple times. Sometimes they come back sometimes they don't. Waiting for them is never the right answer. It's a bitter pill to swallow when your heart physically aches and yearns for them but trust me letting go putting everything that reminds you of them away and moving on is the right answer I promise.
Plainly No Contact is better than the alternative in most cases. What I was waiting for you to add, which you rarely (if ever) do, is that No Contact is by no means guaranteed to bring a dumper back to the table. My ex went NC very quickly after our final conversation, and as much as I respected him for that, I remained 100% done with the relationship. Some dumpers recognize when a relationship is irreparably broken and never worth rekindling, so they celebrate the loss of their exes and just move on with their lives.
No Contact is the way to go. I wish I would have known about it earlier in my life because God knows how many people I just suffocated when they wanted space. I was the kind of girlfriend who "fought for her man" and always wanted whoever to KNOW how much I LOVED them and I wouldnt GIVE UP on US. DONT FALL FOR IT. Its the wrong way to do it. Take it from me. I am day 5 into it after my boyfriend of 5 months is in a rebound that started 3 days after we fought. It is the most empowering feeling. I may be suffering right now but knowing HE doesnt know that gives me such strength. It gives you class, dignity and like Coach Lee says, its your only option and makes you not look GROSS. It also gives you time to realize what this person did to you and how they are STILL doing it without regard for your feelings. I can totally foresee myself not even wanting him when he tries to come back.
You know what’s worst we doing it for someone that is not even worth it. Hang in there your clarity will come . Trust me . Mind you when we broke up I was left homeless in the street . You can do it believe in yourself
it's difficult but benefit's you In the Long run.
she split up with me last month and asked for time and space, now she's in a relationship with some guy that she works with, but I'm not phased by it in the slightest! she's on the rebound so she'll feel more miserable than I did☺️
4 year relationship ended by her, I messed up initially after she broke up with me and sent her several letters, and even tried to show up to her house with flowers trying to fix things. She told me to leave her alone and if I didn’t she would call the police. I haven’t contacted her for about two weeks now, I’m blocked from her life. She still is friends with my family and has our pics on her social medial still.
These videos are what keep me sane, I’m going to trust the process and hopefully she will reach out to me again. My birthday is next week, I’m really curious if she will reach out, but I shouldn’t hope for it.
Be strong! Spend time creating other options for yourself. She'll either come back or you'll evolve into a better version of yourself and meet someone better suited to the new evolved you. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Try really hard to not form an expectation that she will reach out for your birthday. The more you expect, the more the disappointment can be if things don’t go how you expect. At this point I’m expecting to never hear from her again so that if I do, it’s a welcomed surprise
Bro trust me I just got out of a 4 year relationship it’s been 4 months no contact trust me it’s get better with time she didn’t wish me a happy birthday yesterday but I didn’t really care I lost myself at the last year of the relationship I got to focused on her. Find yourself, your purpose workout, get your money up, go to school, and please talk to other girls there so many out there distract your mind go to clubs plenty of chicks girls like that are just lost and ungrateful and thinking the grass is greener. It’s the forbidden fruit reached by the arm. Those kind of people are sick in the head lost. You are the prize but focus on you screw them there one person on this planet you will find someone ten times better everything happens for a reason. Trust me I called my ex a month after my relationship was over the way she acted was completely different it was a side I saw of her that I will never respect her again. Don’t contact them there on ego trip but there not shit your better trust me when they get rejected oh that will hit them hard.
She wished me a happy birthday and went right back to blocking me
did she reach out?
No contact teaches you how to live without the person and realize if you really needed them in your life or were just another rock in the shoe..
Guys, Coach Lee is so right. Listen to the man.
She contact me twice today. The first time a cruel and cold call and next a more polite texting. 3 months of hard waiting. But I know there's a small and real hope. Thank you Coach Lee. Again, thank you
Thank you coach Lee you have helped me alot during my heart break 💔💔💔 I have been watching and following your RUclips channel for almost two years and now I have get over my ex and I don't want him anymore, now I'm dating again for 3 months now God bless me with a wonderful man in my life who respect me and appreciate me for who i am. I'm your number fun from Kenya coach Lee thanks for your help.
My ex broke things off due to his depression that became a problem when his career path changed suddenly. I have never initiated contact, but he has called, texted or visited me nearly every day since the break up 4 months ago. He has told me he still loves me, trusts me, etc. Is it wrong for me to just be supportive during his difficult time? We were together 2.5 years (first 9 months was all distance) We had a wonderful relationship...similar values, sense of humor, etc. Your videos are absolutely LIFE SAVERS to so many. Thank you! ❤
On day 697 waiting to hear back from my ex, no response yet. 😂
Tbh, the no contact rule is the best, for anyone reading this. This may help. I was with someone for 5 years engaged. She left me and from what I know had someone else behind the scenes. Was my soul mate and all that blah blah blah. I begged and prayed god to help 2 years ago to get her back, spend any moment of my life for months crying and being depressed watching videos to get her back. As time went on I felt like things never progressed and I was still depressed, I ended up getting a new job, making new friends, having fun encounters with new women and succeeding in every area of my life. I love life, I love myself and I’m so happy being single, I live in my own and I’m so fkn happy. I seriously NEVER want her back, if she came back I’d tell her to pisss off. Years ago, I begged for it. Be patient, your life will be better, focus on you, focus on growth and something new, you will appreciate it eventually. I can assure you. I was begging god to get her back, BEGGING, I couldent sleep for months, I was at rock bottom, and now, I’m the happiest ever, that can be you also. Just focus on you. Trust yourself and god
Hi Lee! This is a terrific video, and it makes a lot of sense. When you helped me years ago, I ALWAYS wait for your new videos and listen, (and read) a lot of the comments. You are a fantastic person to help all the people that really need you. I recommended 2 of my friends to you just recently. Just wanted to let you know that I love to hear your advice. Keep the vids coming. LOVE YOU..♥️💙
She won't come back folks. Don't take it personally. I too was in a long relationship. It's not your fault. What happens is, attraction fades and things simply don't work anymore. I bet a lot of you knew deep down that things weren't going to work with this person but stayed simply cause you loved them. Sometimes love isn't enough and in reality , this world is cruel. My most recent separation was brutal and the heartbreak I suffered was excruciating. I didn't think I was going to be affected as severely as I was but I was.
Rob, people get back together all the time. Denying that is denying reality. It doesn’t happen all the time, but it happens. So a blanket, generalizing statement like “She won’t come back folks,” is ignoring a heck of a lot.
@@RealCoachLee seems pretty hopeless on my end. Dumped, blocked everywhere and I'm thinking she's seeing somebody. I don't necessarily want her back but yah
@@RealCoachLee I did the text message you preach repeatedly…she answered JUST like you said she would by saying “thank you” and by the end of the week when I wasn’t talking to her she was on the verge of tears.
I owe her coming back to you Coach. I tell anyone going through these situations to watch your videos.
@@robpz448 dude same shit happened to me. I was “blocked” everywhere. I can almost assure you one line is open, BUT don’t give in. Let her see a blank screen everyday.
There is so much sophisticated subtlety in this presentation -- such substance and insight.
My ex has a habit of disappearing, and after a month or so reappearing, making friendly conversation, apologizing for how she acted after our break up. Then vanishing again for an extended period of time. It's happebed 3 times now in the last 6 months. The constant abandonment is emotionally devastating, and it always tends to happen when ive reached a good place, then bam sends me back to damn near rock bottom everytime. I hope you can do a video on this type of situation. Either way, thank you for guiding me through the last half year Coach Lee.
Me right now. 5 years of this with her.
Block all contact, don't check their social media, and tell yourself that it is you that's moving on. Otherwise, you're perpetuating self-torture.
I'm no expert at this, but someone who forms a "pattern" of coming & going every few months sounds like narcissistic behavior. Maybe she's seeing another supply. Who knows? I would NOT tolerate it and move on. Good luck to you.
I thought I was the only one. You’re not alone. No Contact and work on yourself we got this!
I believe Coach Lee has stated that it's important for you to take your time e getting back together. Please, don't be so easy. Make her wait while you think it over. If she doesn't like it, too bad for her.
After 3 weeks i gave in and broke no contact sadly. I just wrote a short text saying that something i was doing reminded me of her and asked what shes up to. She left me on seen. Did i ruin it?
Currently going through a nasty breakup with my girlfriend. I was the one who finally announced last night that I don’t want to speak with them anymore. It wasn’t because I wanted to but I felt there was no choice because trust was gone and there was too much confusion on if we should stay together or not. I’ve done this no contact stuff many times , but honestly , it never becomes easier. I miss them a lot and find myself fighting the urge to reach out. Lots of crying and just pain , but it was my choice to have NC because I have to heal- we have to heal. We both were not strong enough to move on so I had to step up and do it for us. No contact is a great method. It hurts before it heals , but it definitely helps you to move on.
Found out my ex has started stalking me. What do you make of that?
Not unusual.
Coach Lee knows exactly what he’s talking about !!!!!!!!!
Ex left me after over 5 years.. I begged after we broke up and she was super rude and mean to me to the point of saying she hated me… I figured to end it at that she wanted to still talk to me when I was sick after told her nope.. and never responded.. been 10 months of no contact so far and and doubt she’s ever going to text me, she’s a manipulator. And blames everyone for everything she does! But these vids have helped me so much thank you !
There is absolutely no doubt that No Contact works; 1). not only to startle their attention back by means of the intrigue generated, but 2). by the sheer resolve it empowers you with because, after months of pain & uncertainty: now you actually have a PLAN. A dignified plan: you can simply 'go on your grind' and be 'you' again. With the enormous relief of this perspective, now you begin thinking: 'wait a minute... do I need THEM?' No Contact is the most effective means possible: nothing works more powerfully!
You're too awesome Coach Lee! I can't imagine anyone ever having anything negative to say about you. You're a miracle worker as far as I'm concerned. 👍
I'm all healed and better. Remember guys the one that hurted you isnt the one that will heal you. You have to heal yourself.
I have tried to 5 days to be the person of reason, found this video and was met by this response by my partner, So now im doing NC and following Coach Lee lol Yall wish me luck, because i do want this person back, but im focusing on me and my new job now.
Coach! I ran into an unexpected brick wall last night. I went to what used to be mine and my ex (52yr old) karaoke spot that she hadn't been back to in a whole year! I was poised, I smiled and spoke to her and her female company and kept it moving. Sat down a couple of tables back, heart was racing! So, she couldn't keep still. She went to the restroom multiple times just to see what I was doing... but I remained buried in my phone and remained social with other people that appreciated my singing. So at the end of the night she finally stopped and asked me "how are my cats"! We chatted, good vibes, I reciprocated. Karaoke was over, I told them both nice job singing. I held the door for the both of them and went our separate ways without saying goodnight 🤷♂️. Did I strike out?
I think thats a good thing boss, I'm no expert but it's okay to run into your ex naturally and have a pleasant exchange. Maybe she'll think about that and the good memories will come flooding back. I hope everything works in your favor. You handled it like a true gentleman
Broke up in June, did NC and she reached out to me on my birthday a month later. Then for some reason two months after that I decided to reach out to her and after a little bit of texting back and forth she left me on read. Pretty annoying but i just need to focus on myself
No contact really do work magic!!
Coach I would like to suggest if you could do a video of signs that you have fully moved on from your ex and how to solve anger issues from the relationship
Hello Coach Lee. I am on Day 22 of NC. My ex has been delaying my stuff. Told her my free time (Day 10 of NC) but nothing from her. Then asked me a few days later when can we meet up, so she can return my things and so we could talk once and for all. (About everything that happened) That has been a week already. Btw she msg me two times already in NC.
We broke up because her parents are against her being in a gay rship. She caved in and just followed her parents. We had a wonderful time we were happy and this break up is sudden. They just found out and went nuts on her. So i believed that this break up is decided fairly quickly and reactionary.
I am wondering whether i should ff up about my stuff and the meet up? Just feeling anxious.
Hey Coach Lee 👋 I was waiting for your new video 😊
I have a story to share. I’m in NC 2 months and half. Two weeks ago I founded out, ex is checking me online. I felt it as big win. I got proof he’s thinking of me, maybe missing me and that’s enough for me, to feel, I’m not only one suffering. I’m working on myself. I’m doing great at work and I workout. And then it happened. Many men showed interest in me, but I’m not ready. And then someone different found me. He is showing big interest in me. I know I’m not ready yet, yet he shows more understanding and care in like a month, then my ex in 3 years. I will know him better, slowly. The best is, I discovered in NC, I can be ok completely alone 💪 Maybe ex will back, maybe new guy will be ok.. who knows, but no matter what… I will be fine ✅ thank you for all your videos. I watched them in tears. Thank you to help me go through hardest months in my life ❤️
DO NOT BREAK NO CONTACT!
I contacted my ex girlfriend after over 2 months NC. To this day she's just ghosted me. Hasn't even blocked me.
Don't risk making yourself look like an idiot or needy or weak by reaching out. It's not worth it.
Unless something serious pops up just stay in no contact indefinitely. If they reach out, great.
No contact is for you. All you can and should do for them is respect their decision. Work on yourself, rediscover lost passions and find new ones.
Coach Lee. Thank you. No contact works. You gave me the motivation and courage to “let her go.” After begging, crying, and pleading for a month I decided to implement no contact. 8 days later she comes back.
You have to do no contact for either result. To get them back or to move on
I get no contact is supposed to work by getting the dumpee to grow themselves and themselves in a better position mentally if not physically but I think a lot of us who were the ones dumped are frustrated and anxious bc for the vast majority of success stories out there where the dumper came back it’s been the guy dumping the girl where as girls don’t come back if they dumped you. Obviously there are exceptions but it seems to be the norm rather than the exception. I think a lot of us guys would appreciate a video whether by you, or others who promote the use of no contact after a break up, that really focuses on the anxiety and physiological issues faced by men who’ve been the ones dumped and how to best handle the situation. It’s a fact that men and women function differently and have different emotional and psychological tendencies that I think get overlooked in many of these videos.
As a female dumper, I can tell you that I didn't necessarily want to do it, but was fucking tired of being disrespected. I've gone back but with no communication, nothing actually gets resolved. And then I would get gaslighted and my feelings were invalidated. Eventually, you get tired of trying, and you just stop. Clearly I'm not as important to this guy as he claimed. So, from the female dumper perspective, they may not come back because you may have given them the perception they're not important enough to work on the relationship so they will find someone who will.
@@ragingphoinix9144 😢
4 month of no contact. I broke it after 2 month, to ask him about the adress of a restaurant we were together. I got really fast a neutral/positive respond. Since then I am back in NC.
I have no idea how he is feeling, because he never post or posted anything on social media. I still miss him, but it gets better everyday and I can already imagine a future without him.
1 month post break up now. 2 week no contact.
At the day of the breakup i said yes to being just friends.
Less than a week later I told him we had to talk and told him he ruined me and I couldn't be friends with him and cut all contact.
One week later I sent him an email telling him I don't hate him, I forgive him, and I wish him the best. I also told him I needed some time to do some healing. He replied that it almost made him cry reading that and he would still want to be around me as a friend when I feel like talking to him again.
That was two weeks ago. It's not the normal no-contact, but I like to think I did my best. The first week was terrible. I kept refreshing my email, looking if he had sent me a new one. The second one hasn't been easy either, but it is getting better.
I am not ready to talk to him yet. I still dream about him in my dreams, and in my dreams I'm still angry at him. I am still sad. I scream at him for breaking my heart. But he never takes me back in my dreams, and I know he won't. I even talked to my friend in my dream, saying that i shouldn't have been talking with him yet because im not ready. I still need another two weeks.
I hope to be mentally ready to talk to him in two weeks. I want to sound happy when I talk to him again. I know I don't need him, but I still want him. He is the kind of person I can actually imagine spending the rest of my life with, I love his family, my family loves him, everything was perfect and it's going to be really difficult to ever find a person like that again.
The only thing wrong with our relationship was that he didn't want me anymore. And that hurts. I have accepted it, but being OK with it is difficult. And I need to be OK with it before I can talk to him again.
No-contact is really helping me. I just hope it is working for him too.
update?
My wife of 18 years dumped me a few weeks ago. I moved in the basement and live there while she lives upstairs. We do have to share the kitchen but I try to cook/eat at different times than her. This is temporary until we sell the house and sort the divorce (in which we do have to talk). It is hard to have NC while living in the same house (temporarily anyway) and having to deal with the divorce. What are your suggestions? Wait until I move out for NC or try as much as possible to do it now? help appreciated. Thanks, I love your videos. They helped me a lot!
It's good & bad. Pros: I did it to prepare myself for the unknown & gain self worth. I will not beg. Cons: It's unnecessary. My next relationship? If he asked for NC? See ya. I have no time for the mental game. So yes I went through hell for 30 days NC. Set up Family/Mar Therapy and we both agreed on it. On Day 35, he transformed into a horrible being saying "No. You were never the love of my life & tossed my belongings at my sister's front door." 7 yrs of deep love & friendship. Yes it broke me but thank god for the 30 days NC I already prepared myself. 2 weeks of that dreadful ordeal (his wonderful goodbye), I feel much better. Meditation in dry hot sauna & lotsa hot yoga. Love urself more & focus on YOU only. The rest? Karma. Thank you Coach Lee, you got me through many cried nights. Even Tofu ran of spit kissing me whenever I cried
Just create new options for yourself and someone fantastic will come along and if it does turn out that your ex wants to come back he will see the new evolved you which will make your relationship with him "exciting" if you want to consider taking him back. Good luck!
@@Rottimail I have already accepted it & choose to forgive forget & let go but when I meditate bc I feel the heavy in my heart not knowing why he treated me so horrible when I did nothing wrong. Saying goodbye peaceful is all I asked for. Thanks so much
He reached out 3 times... I ignored but eventually replied to a question (he asked if we had lost power when the hurricane hit us) I replied casually with "luckily we only lost power for a little while"... He opened and did not respond. What does this mean? He's been reaching out and when I finally reply he doesn't try to talk or start a conversation... Does he not know what to do and is conflicted??
Oh my goodness… when I watch your videos oftentimes there is an annoying ad of some guy screaming that no contact is a mistake. My thumb cannot hit the skip button fast enough.
lol
That Dude with the accent on the beach?
@@pdh020386 yes!! He stresses me out- he is so intense and loud lol. I am trying to decrease my anxiety, not increase it. This is one of the reasons I appreciate Coach Lee. He is articulate and has a calming, level demeanor.
Man I thought I was the only one they idiot doesn’t know anything and he sounds stupid say “noo contacct” lmao..
these videos of yours have been a godsend. i dont know if we'll ever get back together but there is a glimmer of hope since shes reached out to me albeit bitchy in the months since she broke up with me. complicated after 14 years. im definetely not willing to accept her seeing other people and ive told her as much. coach lee youve been a lifeline. a coach is exactly what I needed cause youve been able to put into words a lot of the internal dialogue that has been racking my brain; making me depressed and overthinking ever little detail post breakup. she wasnt exactly great to me but I loved her anyways (thats how i was raised?). could i do better, probably. Probably could everyone else reading this. At the end of the day both parties need to be willing to compromise. she wasnt- and now im in hell- doesnt make a whole hell of a lot of sense. im trying to be open to other things as sure as shit espouses she is. some people in this world i think are just inherantly selfish and moreover think they are going to live forever. im afraid i fell in love with a narcissist. i love her, but its been fairly brutal. Why wont she just work on things with me together?? maybe 2 sentences ago i answered my question 2 sentences ago. My financial situation went south during the pandemic and i took up drinking a lot. she subsequently bailed on me after 14 years. things were never ideal but it hurt.
I seen one of those such videos that you were talking about the other night. The coach on there was saying something about having a course about how to communicate and build a stronger connection with somebody that's broke up with you even somebody that's blocked you. They said that if they blocked you on all avenues of communication try sending them a letter. And I'm sitting there shaking my head thinking how ridiculous is that. As we all know when someone blocks you especially on all forms that's their way of saying it's over they don't want to talk to you they're done they're out even if it's only a temporary thing at that point in time they're done they're out they don't want to hear from you. So the idea of trying to communicate with them when that's going on as I said before is just ridiculous I do agree with you that no contact does work like you said maybe it doesn't fix the issues and the relationship but it at least makes the other person interested enough to want to try much more than if you would pester them. And another thing that people may also consider if they don't follow no contact another possible outcome could be is that the x that they won't leave alone especially if they live in a small town May spread it around how that person will not leave them alone or maybe everybody in town will see how they won't leave them alone and they'll be painted as a stalker and that will hurt or possibly prevent their chances all together of finding another relationship in that area after they've got over the person that they're chasing now because of how they are acting with their EX
i complety agree with you Lee no use to force the process my ex split up with me one year and half ago I gave the breakup just walked away and say good bye..I don't know if she will ever come back to me..but for me I have self respect and love of myself..so this is a good video .no contact and radio silence..
I hope u soon make a new good video lee. Keep up the good work!
I was in love with someone I meet a few times, but he disappeared for 2 months. When he came back to me I was not interested anymore.
3 months of separation from my ex we kept in contact the whole time her being hot and cold me begging pleading we where together 8 years and the relationship was amazing at times and a deep rooted connection but there was also toxic times as well she got fed up and left 3 months ago . 6 days ago I gave her a ultimatum eaither we work it out or go our separate ways forever . She told me she don’t appreciate my ultimatum and goodnight I I went into no contact and found out she’s seeing someone else I’m broken and hope I heal . I hope someday we can talk because she was my best friend I will never let my guard down again or trust anyone
This is exactly right, how can you work it out if your blocked has I am and talk it over it's impossible, blocking someone is basically saying go away I don't want you to contact me, no contact is the only way
She’s ghosted me in the past for a bit of time here and there. Last time tho it was almost a year. A month ago she came back in my life and after 3 weeks she ghosted me again after I opened up a bit more about how I felt even though she opened up first days prior. I unfollowed her and removed her as a follower and set my account to private. I don’t know what to do else though. I’ve loved her so much for years. I want to go to her or call her and just try to talk it out. I’ve forced myself not to.
She always came back time and time again, but this time after a week of no response, she liked my Instagram posts still, I removed her as a follower and unfollowed. I don’t know what to do. I feel so broken again. I’m scared this time she’ll never come back. The idea of her with someone else destroys me too.
Today marks 90 days since the break up. I’ve lost all hope of ever talking to her again. I feel as though I’m a completely different person now.
I met my ex online June 10. He is (or was) I don't know right now working in Ireland and I live in Toronto, so it was a long distance relationship, just texting, sending each other videos and pictures. It was an instant and strong connection. We were getting married 2 days after he first messaged me on Facebook. And I thought I never would get married again. I have been divorced since 2005, and have just not met the right man.
But this man took my breath away in every way and I was seriously considering moving down to where he lives, North Carolina. My children are grown, but my son is still with me. He is high functioning autistic. I met his young son online, my life changed at lightning speed.
We grew to have issues which I won't mention here (would take too long) and he decided to end it after 3 1/2 months. His words were "if you message me, I won't be responding to your messages." Ouch! And that went from telling each other how we loved each other 5 times a day. You might ask "how can you fall so much in love with someone who you have never met, just texting and long distance. Well, it happened to me. I am devastated and binge watching these videos. Thanks Coach Lee for keeping me in no contact mode. Its only been 5 days but it feels like 5 years. I definitely want the relationship back and think our issues were just unlikely circumstances for the two of us. Hoping no contact works and my ex finds his way back to me! This man is the one!
Coach you were 100% right. I stayed in no contact since April and recently did the opposite this month and may have made it worse. I did say alot in reaching out but the ex said they have no interest
KG
On and off 7 times this year. It's devastating. I really hope coach makes a video on how to keep them when they come back.
Love every videos of you coach lee i feel i am becoming more strong now and can stand alone without expecting anything from my ex...i am using the nc rule for almost a year,,and since my ex seems doesn't interested in fixing our relationship, i gave him up..if he doesn't care , i don't care...for now i am just giving all my attentions with my 3 children...they are the reason why i need to become more strong and strong everyday! They need me that's why i need to focus on their future than to think my deadbeat ex...i'm not sure but i found some symptoms of npd with my ex and that's the reason i made a firm decision for my self that this is a blessing to get out of toxic person...thanks coach lee for your videos... that's make me strong! Thank God for finding your videos! Good luck and more power to your show! This is a blessing to those dumpee like me!
I did not beg but I hovered for 10 weeks. I took the breadcrumbs, gave the fix and eventually she said horrible things. In no contact now 5 weeks. Feel great. Don't want her back
Coach thank you. I have been in NC 60 days, break was easy. I gave it as asked. I reach out because I wanted to. I choose that time to break it. I have no regrets. Other than that I don't do chasing or anything else. I always I ask myself 'what a mature me will do.?'
29 days into no contact, we were in limerence for about 3 months. Acted like we were in an official relationship even though we weren’t. Said all the things we shouldn’t have. Not sure if she will come back on her own, I know I don’t have much leverage so I might need to reach out first eventually. I bought the kit, not even for this situation but for future breakups and difficulties.
Explained it very rationally and nicely, thanks ❤
What about when they act angry toward you and give the cold shoulder and you have no idea what you've done wrong: do you ask "what the hell?" or just remain silent until they break?
One of two: Confront them directly and state it clearly but politely. Say that you don’t want this to hurt your relationship so you want to clear the air on it. Or, if they do this a lot, back off and wait for her to initiate.
@@RealCoachLee He's been doing this a lot and I think it's because he doesn't want me ruining his chances with someone else (he's very secretive and doesn't want people knowing and therefore talking about our past). I'll be in NC until he decides to approach me, but even then, I think I'm done with this one. Thanks, Coach Lee!
It's been over two months since my ex broke off a two year relationship. She had been breaking off intimate encounters, and slowly spending less time with me after having moved to a friend's house to get away from my parents for a while. She had always loved traveling, but took time off to marry me so we could travel together after I finished school. But, she didn't want to marry me anymore so she could travel by herself because I guess I had been emotionally troubled. I don't expect her to come back, and I didn't accept any of her breadcrumbs. It's debilitating to see love so pure and innocent turn into something unstable and hurtful. She seems happy from what I've seen on social media, and I don't expect her to reach out. I've finished school and am at a loss on what to do with myself, as me and her plans were a big part of my formative years as a young adult. I hope I can escape the grief and find someone more accepting of me.
Listening n watching yr videos,cools me down n looking at it positively n different perspectives👍
Hey coach, been watching all your videos and I have a very unique situation
I live in the UK and my girlfriend recently moved to the USA to study
Me and her were madly in love, to the point she nearly didn’t leave but me being supportive told her she should go however
She started saying that she didn’t like it there and was having a lot of doubts about whether she belongs there, about 2 weeks after that me and her had a big talk about the future and we decided to break up but she wanted to keep talking and I thought it would be too hard so I went for no contact, that only lasted for a day before we talked again and decided that was too hard and that we loved each other too much, but then a week later SHE turned around and said that us talking made her decisions for the future and her feelings too hard and that we shouldn’t talk and that she still loved me, I disagreed as we’d already tried it but accepted that amd told her I love her too and we haven’t spoken since
My question is whether no contact now would be a good idea or should I try again again, I want her to know she can come home to study and things can work here but I feel no contact would push her into thinking she lost me and there’s no point coming home
CAN you do a video about long no contact ? Is it worthy to reach after several month for example ? Thanks
My girlfriend left me 2 weeks ago after 9 months together. I tried during the relationship, she wouldn't fully commit and ended up ending things.
Truth be told I was too nice to her and she didn't deserve that for how much effort she actually put in to spending time with me.
When she shut the door for the last time I decided my time putting in effort or chasing her was done.
2 weeks and still no word. Speaks volumes i'm afraid. Likely another guy on the scene is my guess.
Proud I haven't text her as she no longer deserves my attention
One of your best and most inciteful videos Lee.
Hi during the first month of break up. It was obv that he was in a relief period but then he got in an accident and had to be the one to bring him to the hosp. After that he kept me on contact. Updates tex and calls/video calls. However. It was then almost a month of that when I learned abt NC. Then applied it since nov 04. Broke NC on 13th then back on it again up to this day. Was I wrong to be in nc? I still think that it was good that I went NC bcos that 1 month of back in communications felt that I am needy and attachd vs what I am now.
I've started and restarted no contact a bunch of times and am now on day 13 of my last try. The last time my ex and I spoke (13 days ago) she said she "hasn't even been able to consider letting me go" and she "can't commit but can't let go" and that she is having an internal battle with herself. I'm putting a lot of blame on myself, but 3 months after the break up am I fooling myself to think she can commit? Since the break up I've lost 55 lbs, workout, don't drink, got on new depression meds, started therapy, work more hours, and socialize more. Flip side of that coin is I also had a bad mental episode that hospitalized me and she came to visit. Really reaching for some hope here, I don't know why my self work hasn't resulted in self love but I guess that's times job and not mine.
Hi! My and my ex had been dating for 3 month. He broke up out of the blue, after seeing and talking to each other nearly every day for 3 months He stopped because he didn't feel romance for me. He asked if i wanted to stay in touch, but i did not reply, gor upset, and then he left. At least i didn't beg or got very mad.
I realised after the break up i was still dealing with the death of someone i loved, and was not opening at all with my ex.
Now that I feel like I can change things but i am doing NC... I feel like I cannot stay in NC for a long time in my situation, I know what i need to do to show him relationship was good. But i also don't feel strong enough right now. It has only be one week of break up, so it's short ofc...
Question... no contact is neceswary right now, but i think i should break it within 2 weeks...
I have to say: It worked for me. Thanks for all your advice.
Im in the same position again. With the same person, a long distance-relationship and bad communication. I broke up because he was indecisive again and again. We love each other But I had to leave and do NC.
If he is not coming back and have changed for the better, I still feel that I won because I was true to myself.
A huge Thanks from a bis fan in Denmark❤❤❤❤❤
I have to confess that I displayed low value behaviour when my ex dumped me 2 and a half years ago. I would go to his place to talk. A couple of times I drunk called him. What made me stop calling him was the night I called on a public payphone. He said hi then he asked how I had his number. I remembered it from when we were together. Then he asked where I was calling from. I told him. I could tell he was not happy. I stopped after that night. That was over 6 months since I have spoken to me.I know NC is great. I broke it too many times. I also know he is not coming back. It is what it is. Please don't judge me as a horrible person. I take full responsibility for my low value actions back then. No more.
Question for you Coach Lee. Two years ago, my guy broke up with me. I did the wrong things, trying to get answers, apologizing, blad blah blah... Now, he's been following me on FB, commenting, liking, laughing emogis, etc. I was very polite but didn't push. Then he starts messaging me. I have had conversations with him via messenger (not the phone) and only one instigated by me. He said he's been dreaming about me. So I sent him a friend request. Nothing. Everything closed down. Did I make a mistake? That's my question. I'm not asking him why or even initiating anything.
(5yo relationship, begged at the begging and kept contact and even went out a number of times for about a month)
Hey, my ex reached out a couple of times to ask how i am doing and stuff and even said that she can't wait to go out with me(while drunk tho). I have been doing no contact for just about 2 weeks but kept our snap streak. Should I stop the snap streak now? If so, should I tell her that I'll stop? (She's been complimenting me and been nice whenever I would sent snaps.)
Break the Streak go radio silence 🔕
You are right, Lee... sometimes it is what you do NOT know. In my case he was seeing not only me, but 2 others. Not at same time. The one he really wanted was undecided. So he bided his time and got some relief and likely self-esteem while seeing others. He was a true gentleman and kind, but deceptive. I understand, but do not condone it! After 2 months of dating, I found out that he and HER are to be married in late October. 17 yrs. his senior!! She "changed her mind." And I am not considered ( to be ) young. At least not NOW!! 50 years of hoping and there was always some woman that had "one up" on me.
It works. Coach Lee helped me many times before. Back when I had to do it to heal and take my energy back and focused on myself. The ex often responds when you actually walk away, after some time (1 to 6+ months, depends on what happened at the breakup event and the relationship itself), but do it for yourself ultimately. Regardless, it works. Let your ex do the work to get back. No contact works.
amazing break down of details love this guy
I broke up with my ex fiancée in July. Our relationship was 4 1/2 years. My fiancé agreed to the break up. I realise I made a mistake, and have been fighting for 3 months to change her mind. My fiancé blocked me on Facebook, mobile, landline, but said we could stay in contact but only through email. We have stayed in contact through email for 14 weeks. Now the contact has almost come to a stop, she keeps saying I love you and I don’t know what the future holds, and she wants space and time & won’t talk or see me. Says she wants to see me again but when she is ready. Is it too late coach Lee to start no contact now?