I did NC for almost 2 years and then decided to contact my ex. She apologized almost right away about what happened between and said that shes been just too scared to contact me. Now we are going for a date, i know its not victory yet but i hope for the best. Thanks for the amazing tips Coach Lee! And i know i broke NC but still.
Coach Lee, Thank you. I followed your advice to the letter and my ex and I are back together and it looks way different than before. In the month we were apart I put all effort into improving my mental health and focused on improving everthing I could about me. My ex is now saying I'm the man she always new I could be, and I'm still improving. Thanks Again.
@@crystena4968 Don't break no contact. Some things to do instead: Join a gym, get 10 sessions at a tanning salon, buy new awesome outfits, join an ecstatic dance group, learn to meditate, go out and meet new people, change your routine, put yourself first. I did everyone of these.
Every time I feel hopeless or anxious or like I want nothing more than to talk to him I come straight to your videos and watch them until I feel better I really appreciate everything you do.
Today marks two weeks of NC. Day by day, the hurt feelings have begun to subside. Our relationship was pretty short but intense at two months. And I am hopeful that I will continue to grow and heal, that there may be a chance to rekindle the flame. The greatest lesson I have learned from watching Coach Lee is never to give up on yourself. You will come out of this experience with growth, understanding, and the capacity to live life more fully-with or without your ex. I love you guys and appreciate knowing I am not alone in this situation.
coming up 40 days now NC. I broke no contact twice (we frequent the same country dancing bar). I don't have the obsessive desire to be with her anymore. You are right on the money with fast-moving relationships sinking hard. I finally see my worth and after taking the time and distance I see that she wasn't good for me. Thank you for the kind words. ❤
11th of October will make it a month broke nocontact 2 times she said she love me don't mind us getting back together but not atm even if it's truth or not I'm not taking that chance since then I'm not contacting her until she contacts me or not her choice I didn't beg and plead
Personally, the hardest thing about my break up is not knowing if I should let go of her, my first love, to experience new things or if I should accept her back into my life when she does come around after no contact. Coach Lee’s videos help me make some sense of my thoughts and emotions. Definitely the best thing to boost my morale in these cloudy times!
Greatest gift a man could give to his women is the gift of his time. We know that we have limited time in our life. She didn't respect your time. She threw you away in a trashcan like a used condom. You mean nothing to her. This is a deal-breaker.
@@charliejordan438 As of this exact moment, I am waiting for her to come grab her things and move out, which should happen in 1-2 days. I know that it will take some time appart, but my gut (or my ego lol) is telling me she will come back one day. I’m trying to focus on getting my adhd and procrastination under better control, going to the gym and practicing mindfulness and meditation. It sucks, but every day I am trying to find at least one thing that was negative in the relationship, one thing that was positive, and one thing I can work on to improve myself. Hope your situation gets better and that you will find peace my friend!
To the people who are saying negative comments, coach Lee has said in the past, it would be great to be able to just 'move on', but in reality if you love someone, you can't just flick a switch and be over them. All that can be done is give yourself some time to heal and try using a different mindset. There is nothing wrong with having some hope as long as you're not obsessing over it and focusing on your own life. You can have hope and also self respect. That is Coach Lee's motto, at least that's what I've taken from his videos.
Coach lee, you have been keeping my sanity this past week since my breakup last week. If I never found your video I’d be making the same mistakes like how I did last week begging and crying for a week straight. You are like the comfort I go to when I’m feeling down and I’ve been binge watching your videos and rewatching to have the motivation to continue NC and focus on myself. Today was hard but I still will remain strong.
I broke-up on June 13th and i instantly went in nc. I didn't even know if i wanted my ex to come back, but i was leaning towards yes. Since then, i have been hospitalised and diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. The fact that she wasn't there for me and she doesn't even know what i have been through these last (almost) 70 days makes me not care anymore. It is in times like these that you need the support of a partner and when that person is absent something breaks inside you.
When someone does not even bother to check on you once during your illness, clearly they do not give a fck about you My ex did same I had terrible foot injury N was on foot rest whole 2 weeks And he was busy giving me silent treatment, completely ghosted me but kept watching every story of mine on all my socials during my injury time n he clearly saw i was hurting But did not even bother to check on me lol Maybe he was dealing with another girl Trust me when the ppl they ditch you for Endup doing the same to them Only then they realize n it dawns on them that how shit they treated you
Hi Lee! This is a very good video. I listened to it twice. I like to check in on ALL your videos now and then, just to hear how wonderful and intelligent you are. Your advice is the BEST, and people understand you. I remember back when I was with my ex and I was devastated when I had no choice but to leave him. I found you immediately and I binge watched you for weeks. You hit the nail on the head with 2 particular videos. I realized after 5 years, why am I so miserable? Why the heck am I engaged and feel so drained? I got my answer thru those 2 videos and took off from there. I'm doing fine, and I'm always going to follow your videos. You have a "calming" voice, and you are a Godsend to thousands of people. God bless you, Lee. LOVE ❤️ YOU!!
@@jannlewandowski5540 Thank you for telling me. I will listen to them. Yeah... still going through a rough time. We brokeup 5 months ago after dating for 11 years. I recognize I am the one to blame so need to respect him and his space.
It’s been over 3.5 months of NC. He’s been liking my posts for the last 3 months and have still stayed strong and not contacted him. It gets easier. Trust me. Thanks CL!
Thank you Coach Lee, you’re a God send. You always breath life into what feels like a hopeless and impossible situation. I pray everyday for his return but I think he’s forever gone, all I’ve got left is hope and faith. Blessings to you and your wonderful soul.
If he is not afraid to lose you! Then you are not part of his core valued! 12 weeks for a man 16 for a female, if they haven’t reached out! Then they are not afraid!
@@darwincollado8993 that’s not true all the time.. it depends on the details of the relationship… in my case I was best friends w a married man for 7 years on the six n a half year our love grew deeper n we entered in a relationship.. his wife found out we where friends for all them years n threatened him to leave our friendship she knew nothing about the affair… he was very afraid to loose me but had to let go.. other reasons he was a Christian musician n had to let go to be right w God n his family n himself.. we dearly loved each other.. but it was a hard choice he had to make as his wife made his life impossible n even threatened to tell the pastor.. he was soo overwhelmed he let me go.. in some cases ppl have to let you go but they still love you
I miss the days when I wasn't so faded Love wasn't always invasive & I could embrace it Just innocent, waitin', not always livin' in anguish When did I break and become overtaken? What was the moment I caved and Gave away all of my faith and made a replacement? I miss the days when… I miss the smiles we had when we were young I miss the memories of feeling love I miss us runnin' underneath the sun Staring out the window when the rain would come I miss the smiles we had when we were kids, I feel like life was so much simpler then, When we had joy and we were innocent I'd give it all to feel that way again…
Coach Lee , you have have been my rock since Dec 2021. I finally accept my ex gf blindsiding me. I'm in a different and better place now. Not sure if I would want her back if she was to contact me. You're videos are awesome; you taught me so much!!! She know's nothing about me, total radio silence, as if I dropped of the face of the earth!!! Thank you!! :)
I found that it was almost impossible and deceitful to myself to act playful when she broke up with me. I was never going to be mean, but I defaulted to cold, because being jokey and upbeat was a form of lying to myself. She was never hurting in the same way I was, or at least, healing at a different time
The same to me. I couldn't be ok or just nice after what's happened in my marriage and still living in the same house for some time. I constantly had disrespect. Walked away. Now living separately and getting better emotionally and mentally.
Same, I tried to be a bit flirty and joke around but it felt so painful to me and later on I became cold with out even trying to be like that. It takes lot of strength to be kind to someone who broke your heart like that.
It’s been about 1.5 months since the break up. And about 1 month of no contact. I feel my attachment to her slipping away gradually. I write in my journal every day “x is not my partner”. Just to help reinforce the reality. It takes time, but you will get over it. Project that sense of love into yourself. Try to really feel it. You don’t need anyone to feel love. You still love a family member after they pass. You have the memories. You rode that rollercoaster. Let the experience transform you into a better person. Move on. Whether or not they come back, you will be ok.
Ghosting is the meanest most immature and worst way to end a relationship. If you can ghost her back, you would feel awful. My point is Don't follow her lead. She wronged you bad.
@@cintasfreshpoint5195 Cinta, I'm way ahead of you. I've accepted the fact that my relationship with my ex is over. She has been texted me like crazy and I will not respond. I'm in my 50's and I'm burned out on failed relationships. I think I will be a lone wolf for life. I got my motorcycle, old muscle truck and a nice car. I'll be fine.😎
I lost my girlfriend 5 months ago. I did the no contact rule and never heard from her either. There’s so much to the story. I truly love this person but as you know it’s hard to love someone who doesn’t love you. I tried to get her back severely times. Just let them be I made it’s billion times worse I my case. I will never get her back and I feel that in my heart. I have “moved on” but think about he everyday but have no hope to where it’s easy to accept my situation.
Coach Lee, I actually made the decision to leave my wife of 7yrs. However that doesn't help me sleep at night. I want her back but so many things on her end would have to change. Your videos have been a God send. Thank you.
Keep going strong. My ex wanted for us to meet at the 8 months mark. Mentioned he wanted to ask for us to meet for a long time. Don't give up now! Good luck! 💫
12 weeks she reached out nothing big just happy birthday but still she reached out. The no contact rule works. Like a cake iin the oven indeed. Keep going kids resist and persist and let it work for you too
I have recently had an interaction with my ex after we bumped into each other I just smiled and kept walking. I got messaged later that day to tell me that what I had done was unacceptable and that I should address what ever problem I had!! She was previously a hot and cold person after the break up, I needed the space as I was not ready to talk, our communication is always so healthy and productive.. I don't know whether to speak or keep my silence?
she sounds crazy like she wanted attention. don’t go for the bait, you did nothing wrong if anything you responded perfectly. assuming she left you stay silent
After 2 rounds of NC, My ex came back and left again, so I signed up for the Emergency break up kit. I also wrote a clean slate letter too. Your work an videos Coach Lee have help grow me as a person. Thank You Coach
@@splitzyentertainment7995 I told him I was sorry for over doing it on the text messages and that I would give him his space, I hope for the best for him too
Well, she already with a new guy going on holidays and doing the things we planned on doing together. She said she's in love and never being so happy and I wished her good luck and peace, it hurts but it's been 6 weeks now. I never did anything wrong to her, she said she was never in love with me after 1,5 years. I'm not trying to get her back in anyway, I'm just focused in working on my self and healing. I'm in a much better place than ever though it still hurts, healing takes time and helps to create space for someone new in the future.
No contact has been insane for me. But it has made me hate my ex. What I’ve seen how he can be towards me after everything I did for him, what I thought we had. Abandoning me only once he had someone else. I want to disappear from his life forever and never want to hear from him again. If he came back it wouldn’t make things better at all. This wasn’t just a breakup it was a complete discard and abandonment, cheating, betrayal, coldness, selfishness. And the way he dealt with me doesn’t deserve these tactics coach lee is offering. I hope he does see the ugly side of me, he should feel attacked by my anger, and I hope his image of me changes and he knows he killed whoever he thought he knew, that person doesn’t exist anymore. There’s nothing to miss but a memory and hopefully that keeps him away forever. I didn’t want to click this video bc I know I’ve done everything wrong but it’s ridiculous now to think I ever was trying to get him back. He never deserved me or all this effort it takes to get someone to come back. That was never going to work bc even if it did, things will never be the same.
I have a question, if my ex comes back because of fear of losing me, how do I know he's not going to break up with me again when we are together and stable and doesn't feel this "fear of loss" anymore?
Wish I found you before my ex left me. At the time after dealing with trauma I was numbing myself with alcohol and said so many things I never meant. I regret everything and haven’t had a drink in awhile now and trying to fix myself and hope she sees that. We don’t live near each other so I don’t think she will know ever
This is why we have to live god first people will always fail you that god showing you that god loves is unconditionally not matter what he’ll always be there put you heart in god he will never fail you
Can you make a video explaining how to handle a break up when your ex has children? They are not my children, but I loved them for 4 years. How do I not contact their father, and still let them know that I love and miss them? They are young, no phones or social media.
My ex moved on to a new relationship 19days after I started a NC last year in June2021. I felt him pulling out after being together for 6 years to see how far he will go. I didn't say anything I was just stunned that someone can move on so fast from someone to another person who looks nothing like the girls he is usually attracted to. By Sept they moved in together, by Dec she was pregnant. They just had a baby girl this past Aug. He has never reach out or text,or talk to ppl I know even though he unfriended me on Facebook he is still friends with several members of my family. My children not his, he is the only father figure they know. He has never kept contact with them or check up on them or reach out to them. They have their own phones they are17 and 12. How could I've been so wrong about someone?
Such a sad situation. My heart bleeds for you 💓 It's bad enough that your love one leaves you but it so much worse when they attach to someone else so fast . Hang in there 🙏
Oh my goodness, I felt a wave of emotion come over me as I read your story. It’s like, I don’t have the words to comfort you the way I want to. I just want to wrap a warm blanket around your heart and offer my shoulder and ear, on those days that feel impossible to pretend like every thing is okay. I’m praying with you🌸
@@yesplease6127 thank you. I'm better now. I will always carry what we had in my heart and I've decided that this will not be the end of me. I started a business, we don't talk about him and the boys seem to have gone back to their routine. They miss him time to time I'm sure but they don't ask to reach out to him. So grateful for all your good words. I appreciate you 🙏.
@@valentina-su8lm thank you for sharing this. it helped me thinking that i am not special and that this heartache is okay because billions of people felt the same or feel the same. i do not understand how they can move on. i can guarantee you he thinks about you and occasionally regrets it. he misses you but you have to focus on yourself and your babies
Hey Coach just wanted to say I love your content. It's been hard but gets easier everyday with the exception of harder days sometimes. You've been my saving grace in all this. Been in no contact for 7 months and my soon to be ex wife reached out to my Aunt to ask how I was doing, she worries about me, our kids miss me etc.... Due to legal obligations I can't talk to her or our kids. Do you think she's barely hitting the curiosity/ concern stage 7 months later? I sense there's still love there but also mixed feelings.
My ex broke up with me on the 11th this month, then he contacted me again last night. I just read the message with no reply. He texted me again twice today and I did the same thing. Because that was what he did to me before he asked for a breakup. He only read my message and didn’t reply, the next day I texted him again and forced him to reply. That was when he said he wants a breakup. I love this revenge. I hope he will learn his lesson. I still feel pity for not replying since I love him.
@@nbee6217 I just want him to respect me so that he knows my value. If he knows my value, he wouldn't come and leave as he wanted. We broke up like 5 times already.
@@SonGoku-ep4wj I talked to him. I said I feel unvalued and we hangout less now. If he love me, he would make all the changes but it seems like he is showing no effort to do so. I think he doesnt love me anymore. I am the type of person who would tell my partner what I think, I wont let them trying to figure it out by themselves.
They must taste their own medicine in order to get better in the future. It's call mirroring. You give only as much as you get. It goes both ways: positive and negative.
So, I’m not much for assumption, and hate hanging my hat on hope…but when she’s the one to bring up these memories we share, intimate times, road trips we took…and also sends me pictures of some of our memories, what does that say about how she feels? I have not once brought up memories we have, but I sure enjoy going down memory lane with her. I want to make more memories with her. If her actions are an indication, I think one day we will. Our connection is deep. She reaches out to me when she’s upset, or when she has good news to share…she says I’m “the only one that gets her.” She broke up with me because I was going through a hard time in my life, and neglected her and her son…but I treated them so good, and we had a great relationship overall. I think she’s realizing what we had was truly something special. At least her actions speak that.
Coach Lee, you are the most concise relationship coach I have ever come across . I have a question what if you want your ex back , but you have seen some narcissistic characters but are not certain? What if the breakup was bad ,how do you know that a person wants you back after a bad breakup?
@@RealCoachLee I want to say ...I see God in you ,speech ,conduct and way of thinking ....One doesn't need to wonder where the wisdom is from ! Thankful for your contribution in out generation 🙏
I did NC for a few months, have been bettering myself, I still feel like I did wrong, I know she initiated the break up but now me and her have been talking/messaging more frequently now, I don’t bring up anything that happened in our relationship since the relationship only lasted a month but we built a good friendship prior before we started dating, she picked me up and drove me home from a convention we both went to back in July and next weekend, me her and few of our friends from church are going camping, last weekend we were at ribfest and me and her talked by the lake together, I am praying me and her can get back together in another relationship because we didn’t end on bad terms but I have been focusing on myself and seeing counselling
1) no contact 2) don’t show anger 3) memories/inside jokes/ stories 4) listen to your ex with understanding and without judgment 5) don’t lie 6) do not betray confidence
damn, it's tough it's been a month since we breakup and now it's 4 days of nc she won't admit she has a bf now i was toxic and self centered i kinda deserve this pain i brought to myself but you made me feel better coach. The one who made me believe in love and the one who proves that losing someone is quite painful, however even if she comes back, not come back i'm glad she was a part of my life😊
So I posted a scene from the notebook with Noah and Allie, when Noah is confessing his love to Allie. My ex responded with a “lol 😂”.. only has been a few days of no contact.
Thanks coach Lee Point no 6 very important During the time of my breakup, my ex revealed few of personal/intimate things which had happened only between two of us or within our family I felt this was very childish, immature behaviour and think of this act as not trustworthy which puts me off whenever I think of it
Coach Lee. It has been 41 days since i last heard from my ex . we were together for 4 yrs. . I started no contact shortly afterwards. I caved and reached out a couple of times. Which i now know i shouldn't have. I stopped all contact with her. Then today i reached out saying i was thinking about her alot and hoped she was doing well. Of course i got nothing back. I feel like a failure for caving in. I have been going to the gym and keeping myself busy. I have had good days and some not so good days dealing with this. I listen to your videos constantly and they give myself strength. I feel now i have to start NC all over again. Knowing what i know about her i dont know if she will return . any words of encouragement you could give me to apply and stay strong during these trying times?
I'm listening to her talk about some guy who lives in another country but is leading her on. Making her feel like he's going to come and save her 😣😣🤣. But we're spending time together so I just sit there so she feels like someone is listening to her. I look for this to be over lol. Gaining her trust and not be judgemental is the goal.
Hi coach lee, thanks for your videos u Know wen my ex left me I was so so heartbroken,I couldn't eat...or do anything but something told me if only I can receive coaching and I decided to go on RUclips and i searched and then found u and things were bad but now am okay still pushing it's not 2 months of NC and my ex mother communicated to me
this morning i found out my ex's sister unfirend me on fb... i have no idea whats going on here.. like probbly my situation is really hopeless... 5 years relationship just gone like a game over.....i thought we were strong enough to be able to work anything out.... 25 days of no contact ... almost 2 months since i moved out.... 10 days till my bday... i really wanna die just die and forget about everything every memory that was with him involved
Pek1121, I know how you feel. I was engaged to be married for 5 years, and it turned out that he was only USING ME! I really loved him. I even ended up in the Hospital with stomach issues. I went into Therapy, I went out with people, and I read. That toomy mind off him. TIME HELPEF ME. YOU CAN DO THIS! Take care of yourself, DON'T CALL HER...IN TIME YOU WILL FEEL DIFFERENTLY. God bless you. Bug hug..❤️⚘️⚘️
I just got broken up with two days ago. She said some very cruel things to me and told me to move on and threatened to block me if I didn’t agree to be friends. I told her she was being disrespectful and I don’t want to be friends. She then texted me a few hours later saying this is breaking her and she doesn’t want me out of her life. And asked me for suggestions on what to do. I told her we can talk about things but she never responded to me. It seems like maybe she doesn’t know what she wants. I’m not sure but I’ve been in no contact since then and will continue it.
I wouldn't call her for a meet-up, nope. Keep strong with the No Contact, be patient, strong and focus on yourself. The best way to help someone who doesn't know what they want is to let them figure it out themselves. Without your presence, she will start realising what's missing. If you are available all the time, she won't be able to see it. Give her what she wants. Keep strong with No Contact! It always works! 💫✨
@@livbeyond Thank you for the advice! I agree with you. I’ll keep in no contact and focus on myself while she figures it out. She deleted her twitter account yesterday. I’m not sure why she would do this. She didn’t block me. I confirmed it. I’m not sure if it was to get my attention. But I didn’t react to it and kept in no contact.
thank you for all your help 🙏 ❤️ NC 5 weeks 😞 last night I had some random nightmare 👻 When I woke up, I just followed my instinct, grab mobile & I wanted text him 😓 habit 😢
Its even worse when you keep dreaming about them and can't make it stop. Have a nightmare about losing them or being with them, and wake up into the nightmare for real, and you can't escape it. Its horrible...
15 years of friendship, 2 and a half years of a situationship after he moved into my spare room and then nothing, after an argument and him leaving. It’s been 12 days in no contact, even though I left him alone he decided to block me. At first I struggled to cope, then I felt better and I’m able to go to sleep and wake up ok. My days are good but, every night I spend about an hour or 2 thinking of him so this is where I come as it’s painful
Coach, could you do a video on what to do since you say not to ignore your ex on if your ex keeps texting you about insignificant things or breadcrumbing and what to do?
I’m in that situation too. I’m getting to the point where I’m almost about to day listen this is too challenging for me when we text during the circumstances so contact me when your ready to date.
What if you made all the mistakes possible? And, you were the dumper, but your ex doesn’t want you back and (they told you) now is dating someone else.
It's different for avoidants, I think. They just don't seem to care that much one way or the other. Has anyone got any positive real-life stories about NC working on this type of attachment style?
thomesc6214, I highly recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit which will help you immensely. It has strategies for every situation including yours. myexbackcoach.com/ebk This Kit will answer your questions. Take care..
Bro don't ignore them. Be a gentlemen. The whole no contact rule is to make them reach out to you. If they do, talk to them. Be nice to them. Polite. Keep the convo up beat. BUT... don't chase them. Keep your dignity intact. Don't talk about the past. Or future. Don't talk about the relationship. Be friendly but at the same time. Flirt with them.
Hi Coach lee, I've come across your channel just recently and I'm beginning to learn alot. I've came out of a 4 month relationship, but In that time we fell madly in love with each other. But unfortunately as time Went on I was being angry at nothing and causing arguments almost every day.. said a few things out of line last week and it pushed her away from me. Said she doesn't feel the same way towards me, or even looks at me the same as she once did and needs some space and breathing time to decide what she really wants. I'm going to give her it, I'm just worried Incase I'm left hanging on still trying to fight for something, but she moves on with her time to think and breathe. I am already very hurt as it is and don't want to feel any worse down the line
I started no contact right after she said we are never going to have a relationship, one month after, she wrote hoping that I was doing well and I responded normal not showing emotion, after that no contact for another 9 month and she again wrote that her best friend had heard me on the radio and wished the that I was doing ok which I didnt believe because she knows I dont do radio, but that was 6 month ago and no contact since!
I wish i found coach lee’s videos since after break up…so i did not push my ex further away😭…it’s been 8months now since we broke up and nothing happend even i got coach lee emergency break up and i even spoke to coach ken😢
Two things.. One - How to apply these if he never wants to reach out? Two - how to be honest with him, when he lied to me at the end, about the reason for breaking up. 🤔
About 5 weeks since the breakup & about 2 weeks of NC. We had a great relationship but it was becoming something unhealthy, I am shattered she left me, she would say she misses me, loves me & cares for me but says she needs to time & that she’d like to be friends Not sure where to go from here, I can only hope NC works, if not to fix the relationship, I’d just love to have my best friend back
Coach Lee - My ex has NO social media. He lives 60 miles away also. So I will not "run" into him, and we wont be able to "like" the same posts and stuff.....how can I possibly share ONE memory or inside joke? Wait for when he does contact? Being that he doesnt have SM and is further away presents challenges to me of how I keep him thinking about me. We had amazing times together and amazing laughs for close to 2 years......but some recent pressure and arguments "overwhelmed" him too much and he needed "space"
I can relate. My ex has no social media either. I guess we sit back and see if they contact us. It's been almost a month since he broke up with me. Good luck and hang in there!
my ex contacted me after 43 days NC and wanted to get back together and i messed it up at that time , i told him i was scared to get back so he backed up and changed his mind , i tried to get him back again right after that and he didnt want to (saying we are not compatible and it wont work out even tho he loves me so much) , so i started NC again and now its been 20 days, will NC work again this time? (ps we were in 4 years relationship)
My wife's left me for another guy, she tells me she needs to work on herself and all that, but everyone tells me how she's always with him at work and she's so cold toward me, I've got the no contact some what going but have to communicate because of kids and rides and etc. This is killing me, I don't think she'll ever feel regret because this guy will keep her mind off me I'm sure, I'm falling apart and so lost and don't know how much more I can handle
As good as Coach Lee is, he, like many other relationship coaches, fail to address how to maneuver all of this while concurrently going through a divorce and custody battle. 80 % of Divorces are filed by women and married men struggle to move on. Give people real talk - like only 6 percent will get back together so let’s help you move forward…
Coach Lee sayssooooo much good stuff, certainly including this video, it's awesome, but somehow he doesn't address this. And that most dumpers ARE women, and many of them are in another relationship the day after they dump their ex BF. When that happens... she will be interested in you again... if it fails with her new ma(e)n, or isn't as great as she thought it would be. Are you OK with that? It sure adds another dimension...
@@wesperry4519 It's a scam. Don't bother. Blood sucking scammers looking to make money out of other people's misery and leeching the work of other content creators.
I initially did the dumping but immediately reached out and apologized. We were meant to meet yesterday to discuss but he cancelled and said that making up does not come naturally to him so I should move on. Does it mean that it is he is now the dumper? I am now in NC mode. What can I do?? Help
What would you recommend doing when a friend of the ex reaches out? She was his friend but we became friendly over the relationship. Never hung out on our own. The text didn’t say my ex asked them to reach out. It was basically along the lines of “I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner but I didn’t want to bug you. Are you doing ok? I hope we can still be friends.” It’s been 2 weeks since breakup and immediate NC. The last time I saw the friend was about a month ago. The three of us went out to eat.
This is a great video but it feels like the ex holds all the power and the dumped has no control. Do we have to keep the ex sweet despite all the pain they've caused, even since the break up? Do we get to express the opinion they've caused or do we stay quiet in the hopes we get them back?
I’m going to be real, I voiced my opinion about the post-break up feelings and how I feel I was taken for granted. It only resulted in being blocked, and possibly pushing my ex away. Dumpers don’t like to be reminded of the hurt they cause so it’s a coin toss how yours may respond.
Hey Coach Lee I really appreciate your content. If it’s been 3 months of no contact but you are blocked on all socials unsure of whether or not your number is blocked, should I reach out or is it a sign they are not ready?
@@vassilisk8371 probably a greater chance than you think. What keeps me going is knowing I want him back only if he wants to be back but if not.. There's no other logical step but to move away from it and be open to another love. In another video I watched... Coach Lee was saying if an honest amount of time has passed and you have worked on yourself in that you are open even to a negative answer... you can reach out. (Just to know). In my opinion though.. if you're still blocked, they know it and will probably reinforce that descision if you reach out. What do you feel is best to do?
@@shweine_marion I just don’t know why I’m still blocked and she did say we’ll never see each other again or get back together and even Coach Lee said that’s nonsense but she hasn’t unblocked me. What is that amount of time that he says you can reach out?
It’s been almost one month since NC and it’s insanely hard. I want to text her at every second of every day but I know it’s best to not text her. The hard part is her mom texts me still and I don’t know what to do about it. Coach Lee hits every point on the dot about what has happened so I don’t see how he won’t hit it on the dot for what will happen.
Hey Coach. We broke up 5 weeks ago. I reached out once to get closure since she left crying without saying anything when she asked me to break up. Today marks day 24 of NC, with some radio silence here and there. I am not watching her stories on IG. Last week she "complained" to my best friend who she sees at the gym sometimes about that, said that she cares about me and will always love me (she told him the exact same thing a few days after the break up). She started liking my pictures and doesn't miss one of my stories, but other than that there is nothing. Is there a way I can tell if NC is working?
There was a week of No Contact but we spoke again and he said he has been thinking about me and us a lot during the No Contact. We got closer after resuming contact and we had two phone conversations since (one emotional, one not) and thereafter he even said good morning etc for three days and then he pulled away again. 😢 what should I do now…
ChrissyBerry. I recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit which will help you immensely. It has EVERYTHING in it including strategies for every situation including yours. Great for NO Contact. myexbackcoach.com/ebk
18 days of NC she reached out and offered friendship and now we are talking nicely for almost a week now. Settled all the issues of the past. Now we talked about our daily lives and our own plans.
Summary
1. No contact
2. Avoid anger
3. Talk about good old memories
4. Listen
5. Don't lie
6. Don't break the confidence
7. Be playful
I did NC for almost 2 years and then decided to contact my ex. She apologized almost right away about what happened between and said that shes been just too scared to contact me. Now we are going for a date, i know its not victory yet but i hope for the best. Thanks for the amazing tips Coach Lee! And i know i broke NC but still.
After 2 years you have nothing to lose ☺️ hope it goes well for you guys
the grass wasnt greenier on the other side thats why
Keep your guard up. Sounds like she messed up.
Let us know how it went!
How did u start contact with her again?
Been 1 year no contact she moved on. Don't expect shit to come back. Treat yourselves good. Live your lives, go forward
Coach Lee, Thank you. I followed your advice to the letter and my ex and I are back together and it looks way different than before. In the month we were apart I put all effort into improving my mental health and focused on improving everthing I could about me. My ex is now saying I'm the man she always new I could be, and I'm still improving. Thanks Again.
👊🏻
@@crystena4968 Don't break no contact. Some things to do instead: Join a gym, get 10 sessions at a tanning salon, buy new awesome outfits, join an ecstatic dance group, learn to meditate, go out and meet new people, change your routine, put yourself first. I did everyone of these.
@@nessacska
About 4 weeks
Awesome 👍
Every time I feel hopeless or anxious or like I want nothing more than to talk to him I come straight to your videos and watch them until I feel better I really appreciate everything you do.
Me too!! It helps
I do the same exact thing and it changes my mood every time.
Hey, how have you been doing after two months?
it’s that intro music!!! and his very calming and reassuring voice. he makes me feel like everything will be okay 😇
I do the same
Today marks two weeks of NC. Day by day, the hurt feelings have begun to subside. Our relationship was pretty short but intense at two months. And I am hopeful that I will continue to grow and heal, that there may be a chance to rekindle the flame. The greatest lesson I have learned from watching Coach Lee is never to give up on yourself. You will come out of this experience with growth, understanding, and the capacity to live life more fully-with or without your ex. I love you guys and appreciate knowing I am not alone in this situation.
NC works, just hang in there. Keep watching Coach Lee
@@thefieldreportsoldier I believe that with my whole heart. It's been a hard road but a very enlightening experience. Thank you for your kindness. ❤
Okay so that should work well now as I'm trying
coming up 40 days now NC. I broke no contact twice (we frequent the same country dancing bar). I don't have the obsessive desire to be with her anymore. You are right on the money with fast-moving relationships sinking hard. I finally see my worth and after taking the time and distance I see that she wasn't good for me. Thank you for the kind words. ❤
11th of October will make it a month broke nocontact 2 times she said she love me don't mind us getting back together but not atm even if it's truth or not I'm not taking that chance since then I'm not contacting her until she contacts me or not her choice I didn't beg and plead
not longer want my ex back, but i'm here to support coach lee!
Personally, the hardest thing about my break up is not knowing if I should let go of her, my first love, to experience new things or if I should accept her back into my life when she does come around after no contact. Coach Lee’s videos help me make some sense of my thoughts and emotions. Definitely the best thing to boost my morale in these cloudy times!
What are you doing in your situation im in the same boat unsure what to do
Greatest gift a man could give to his women is the gift of his time. We know that we have limited time in our life. She didn't respect your time. She threw you away in a trashcan like a used condom. You mean nothing to her. This is a deal-breaker.
@@charliejordan438 As of this exact moment, I am waiting for her to come grab her things and move out, which should happen in 1-2 days. I know that it will take some time appart, but my gut (or my ego lol) is telling me she will come back one day. I’m trying to focus on getting my adhd and procrastination under better control, going to the gym and practicing mindfulness and meditation. It sucks, but every day I am trying to find at least one thing that was negative in the relationship, one thing that was positive, and one thing I can work on to improve myself.
Hope your situation gets better and that you will find peace my friend!
Move onn
To the people who are saying negative comments, coach Lee has said in the past, it would be great to be able to just 'move on', but in reality if you love someone, you can't just flick a switch and be over them. All that can be done is give yourself some time to heal and try using a different mindset. There is nothing wrong with having some hope as long as you're not obsessing over it and focusing on your own life. You can have hope and also self respect. That is Coach Lee's motto, at least that's what I've taken from his videos.
Coach lee, you have been keeping my sanity this past week since my breakup last week. If I never found your video I’d be making the same mistakes like how I did last week begging and crying for a week straight. You are like the comfort I go to when I’m feeling down and I’ve been binge watching your videos and rewatching to have the motivation to continue NC and focus on myself. Today was hard but I still will remain strong.
Stay strong. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It will get easier everyday❤️❤️. Trust me your ex will be back.
@@lorrainea.285 thank you hun ❤️☺️
Hey! How has it been now?
@@H0p3555 it’s been a year and I’ve finally moved on! I love my life now and I’m at full peace!
@@r.i7654 That's great, well done!💕 Just wanna ask if they tried to reach out or you just never heard from them ever since?
I broke-up on June 13th and i instantly went in nc. I didn't even know if i wanted my ex to come back, but i was leaning towards yes. Since then, i have been hospitalised and diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. The fact that she wasn't there for me and she doesn't even know what i have been through these last (almost) 70 days makes me not care anymore. It is in times like these that you need the support of a partner and when that person is absent something breaks inside you.
@@foreverblessednb18 It is ok man, i will fight it. Hope you are doing ok yourself too...
When someone does not even bother to check on you once during your illness, clearly they do not give a fck about you
My ex did same
I had terrible foot injury
N was on foot rest whole 2 weeks
And he was busy giving me silent treatment, completely ghosted me but kept watching every story of mine on all my socials during my injury time n he clearly saw i was hurting
But did not even bother to check on me lol
Maybe he was dealing with another girl
Trust me when the ppl they ditch you for
Endup doing the same to them
Only then they realize n it dawns on them that how shit they treated you
Hi Lee! This is a very good video. I listened to it twice. I like to check in on ALL your videos now and then, just to hear how wonderful and intelligent you are. Your advice is the BEST, and people understand you. I remember back when I was with my ex and I was devastated when I had no choice but to leave him. I found you immediately and I binge watched you for weeks. You hit the nail on the head with 2 particular videos. I realized after 5 years, why am I so miserable? Why the heck am I engaged and feel so drained? I got my answer thru those 2 videos and took off from there. I'm doing fine, and I'm always going to follow your videos. You have a "calming" voice, and you are a Godsend to thousands of people. God bless you, Lee. LOVE ❤️ YOU!!
Hi :)
What two videos are you talking about?
Thank you
@@SSpitz16 2 videos on the NARCISSIST....IS MY EX A NARCISSIST & THINGS A NARCISSIST CANNOT FEEL.
HOW TO KNOW IF MY EX IS A NARCISSIST & 7 signs my ex is a narcissist
@@SSpitz16 I hope you can find those 2 videos by Coach Lee . I went thru a pretty rough time for 5 years. Hope u can find them.
@@jannlewandowski5540 Thank you for telling me.
I will listen to them.
Yeah... still going through a rough time. We brokeup 5 months ago after dating for 11 years. I recognize I am the one to blame so need to respect him and his space.
She's now chasing me🤣🤣🤣..big up coach lee
Emergency break up kit is the best 👌 ❤
How long was your NC?
3 months....get the kit u will understand what to do n say
@@anthonysumbane6773 what’s unique about the kit? I bought it too but I feel it’s the very same he communicates on RUclips
@@lsh292 strategy he implies on the kit 8s different fom the clips on RUclips
That good for you I don't thinking is working for me
It’s been over 3.5 months of NC. He’s been liking my posts for the last 3 months and have still stayed strong and not contacted him. It gets easier. Trust me. Thanks CL!
Thank you Coach Lee, you’re a God send. You always breath life into what feels like a hopeless and impossible situation. I pray everyday for his return but I think he’s forever gone, all I’ve got left is hope and faith. Blessings to you and your wonderful soul.
If he is not afraid to lose you! Then you are not part of his core valued! 12 weeks for a man 16 for a female, if they haven’t reached out! Then they are not afraid!
@@darwincollado8993 that’s not true all the time.. it depends on the details of the relationship… in my case I was best friends w a married man for 7 years on the six n a half year our love grew deeper n we entered in a relationship.. his wife found out we where friends for all them years n threatened him to leave our friendship she knew nothing about the affair… he was very afraid to loose me but had to let go.. other reasons he was a Christian musician n had to let go to be right w God n his family n himself.. we dearly loved each other.. but it was a hard choice he had to make as his wife made his life impossible n even threatened to tell the pastor.. he was soo overwhelmed he let me go.. in some cases ppl have to let you go but they still love you
I miss the days when I wasn't so faded
Love wasn't always invasive & I could embrace it Just innocent, waitin', not always livin' in anguish
When did I break and become overtaken?
What was the moment I caved and
Gave away all of my faith and made a replacement?
I miss the days when…
I miss the smiles we had when we were young
I miss the memories of feeling love
I miss us runnin' underneath the sun
Staring out the window when the rain would come
I miss the smiles we had when we were kids,
I feel like life was so much simpler then,
When we had joy and we were innocent
I'd give it all to feel that way again…
Coach Lee , you have have been my rock since Dec 2021. I finally accept my ex gf blindsiding me. I'm in a different and better place now. Not sure if I would want her back if she was to contact me. You're videos are awesome; you taught me so much!!! She know's nothing about me, total radio silence, as if I dropped of the face of the earth!!! Thank you!! :)
I found that it was almost impossible and deceitful to myself to act playful when she broke up with me. I was never going to be mean, but I defaulted to cold, because being jokey and upbeat was a form of lying to myself. She was never hurting in the same way I was, or at least, healing at a different time
You don't have to act playful. Just stay away as much as possible from creating a negative environment around your ex.
The same to me. I couldn't be ok or just nice after what's happened in my marriage and still living in the same house for some time. I constantly had disrespect. Walked away. Now living separately and getting better emotionally and mentally.
Same, I tried to be a bit flirty and joke around but it felt so painful to me and later on I became cold with out even trying to be like that. It takes lot of strength to be kind to someone who broke your heart like that.
It’s been about 1.5 months since the break up. And about 1 month of no contact. I feel my attachment to her slipping away gradually. I write in my journal every day “x is not my partner”. Just to help reinforce the reality. It takes time, but you will get over it. Project that sense of love into yourself. Try to really feel it. You don’t need anyone to feel love. You still love a family member after they pass. You have the memories. You rode that rollercoaster. Let the experience transform you into a better person. Move on. Whether or not they come back, you will be ok.
Update please
@@Samx838 It’s been almost 2 years. I haven’t heard from her. I am happy in a new relationship that seems to be a much better fit.
I'm very sad and heartbroken 💔. I'm here watching coach Lee's video to give me strength. I was ghosted by my lady over six weeks ago and I miss her.
Ghosting is the meanest most immature and worst way to end a relationship. If you can ghost her back, you would feel awful. My point is Don't follow her lead. She wronged you bad.
@@thefieldreportsoldier Thankyou
She is with someone else it hurts but just plan on how you Will forget and move forward don't chase her it will hurt you more
@@cintasfreshpoint5195 Cinta, I'm way ahead of you. I've accepted the fact that my relationship with my ex is over. She has been texted me like crazy and I will not respond. I'm in my 50's and I'm burned out on failed relationships. I think I will be a lone wolf for life. I got my motorcycle, old muscle truck and a nice car. I'll be fine.😎
@@cintasfreshpoint5195 Thanks for the kind words. If she is with someone else, he can have her. I will be fine.😎
Thank you coach lee you helped me so much now I’m back with my ex and we’re having the best time together 😍🥳❤️
So thankful I got this notification
Wow this is about intimacy training and not talking about others behind their back. there name is safe on my lips
I lost my girlfriend 5 months ago. I did the no contact rule and never heard from her either. There’s so much to the story. I truly love this person but as you know it’s hard to love someone who doesn’t love you. I tried to get her back severely times. Just let them be I made it’s billion times worse I my case. I will never get her back and I feel that in my heart. I have “moved on” but think about he everyday but have no hope to where it’s easy to accept my situation.
Stay no contact forever
Coach Lee, I actually made the decision to leave my wife of 7yrs. However that doesn't help me sleep at night. I want her back but so many things on her end would have to change. Your videos have been a God send. Thank you.
They think that we do not understand them by trying to work things out? It's rather the other way around 😬
THANKS again Coach Lee. Already 5 months of NC, nothing at all. Feel recover. And keep going. Thanks.
Keep going strong. My ex wanted for us to meet at the 8 months mark. Mentioned he wanted to ask for us to meet for a long time. Don't give up now! Good luck! 💫
12 weeks she reached out nothing big just happy birthday but still she reached out. The no contact rule works. Like a cake iin the oven indeed. Keep going kids resist and persist and let it work for you too
I have recently had an interaction with my ex after we bumped into each other I just smiled and kept walking. I got messaged later that day to tell me that what I had done was unacceptable and that I should address what ever problem I had!! She was previously a hot and cold person after the break up, I needed the space as I was not ready to talk, our communication is always so healthy and productive.. I don't know whether to speak or keep my silence?
I know what you mean 😢
she sounds crazy like she wanted attention. don’t go for the bait, you did nothing wrong if anything you responded perfectly. assuming she left you stay silent
After 2 rounds of NC, My ex came back and left again, so I signed up for the Emergency break up kit. I also wrote a clean slate letter too. Your work an videos Coach Lee have help grow me as a person. Thank You Coach
Hey can you help me
How many times did you breakup? And what was the cause?
@@blaxpoitation8528 he left me twice. He didn't give me any reason either
@@thefieldreportsoldier oh my gosh and what did the clean slate letter say?
@@splitzyentertainment7995 I told him I was sorry for over doing it on the text messages and that I would give him his space, I hope for the best for him too
thank you coach lee! your videos help me a lot to get through this tough time.
ATTENDANCE CHECK: Present 🙋🏻♀️ 🇵🇭🥰
Well, she already with a new guy going on holidays and doing the things we planned on doing together. She said she's in love and never being so happy and I wished her good luck and peace, it hurts but it's been 6 weeks now. I never did anything wrong to her, she said she was never in love with me after 1,5 years. I'm not trying to get her back in anyway, I'm just focused in working on my self and healing.
I'm in a much better place than ever though it still hurts, healing takes time and helps to create space for someone new in the future.
No contact has been insane for me. But it has made me hate my ex. What I’ve seen how he can be towards me after everything I did for him, what I thought we had. Abandoning me only once he had someone else. I want to disappear from his life forever and never want to hear from him again. If he came back it wouldn’t make things better at all. This wasn’t just a breakup it was a complete discard and abandonment, cheating, betrayal, coldness, selfishness. And the way he dealt with me doesn’t deserve these tactics coach lee is offering. I hope he does see the ugly side of me, he should feel attacked by my anger, and I hope his image of me changes and he knows he killed whoever he thought he knew, that person doesn’t exist anymore. There’s nothing to miss but a memory and hopefully that keeps him away forever. I didn’t want to click this video bc I know I’ve done everything wrong but it’s ridiculous now to think I ever was trying to get him back. He never deserved me or all this effort it takes to get someone to come back. That was never going to work bc even if it did, things will never be the same.
I have a question, if my ex comes back because of fear of losing me, how do I know he's not going to break up with me again when we are together and stable and doesn't feel this "fear of loss" anymore?
Wish I found you before my ex left me. At the time after dealing with trauma I was numbing myself with alcohol and said so many things I never meant. I regret everything and haven’t had a drink in awhile now and trying to fix myself and hope she sees that. We don’t live near each other so I don’t think she will know ever
garrymiller8608
I suggest you book a Coaching session with Coach Lee or a coach on his staff
myexbackcoach.com/book-with-coach-lee/
This is why we have to live god first people will always fail you that god showing you that god loves is unconditionally not matter what he’ll always be there put you heart in god he will never fail you
Can you make a video explaining how to handle a break up when your ex has children? They are not my children, but I loved them for 4 years. How do I not contact their father, and still let them know that I love and miss them? They are young, no phones or social media.
“memory seeds” I like that.
My ex moved on to a new relationship 19days after I started a NC last year in June2021. I felt him pulling out after being together for 6 years to see how far he will go. I didn't say anything I was just stunned that someone can move on so fast from someone to another person who looks nothing like the girls he is usually attracted to. By Sept they moved in together, by Dec she was pregnant. They just had a baby girl this past Aug. He has never reach out or text,or talk to ppl I know even though he unfriended me on Facebook he is still friends with several members of my family. My children not his, he is the only father figure they know. He has never kept contact with them or check up on them or reach out to them. They have their own phones they are17 and 12. How could I've been so wrong about someone?
Such a sad situation. My heart bleeds for you 💓
It's bad enough that your love one leaves you but it so much worse when they attach to someone else so fast .
Hang in there 🙏
Oh that’s really sad. Receive strength dear we luv u😘
Oh my goodness, I felt a wave of emotion come over me as I read your story. It’s like, I don’t have the words to comfort you the way I want to. I just want to wrap a warm blanket around your heart and offer my shoulder and ear, on those days that feel impossible to pretend like every thing is okay. I’m praying with you🌸
@@yesplease6127 thank you. I'm better now. I will always carry what we had in my heart and I've decided that this will not be the end of me. I started a business, we don't talk about him and the boys seem to have gone back to their routine. They miss him time to time I'm sure but they don't ask to reach out to him. So grateful for all your good words. I appreciate you 🙏.
@@valentina-su8lm thank you for sharing this. it helped me thinking that i am not special and that this heartache is okay because billions of people felt the same or feel the same. i do not understand how they can move on. i can guarantee you he thinks about you and occasionally regrets it. he misses you but you have to focus on yourself and your babies
Thanks Coach Lee.. everything about what you said is so true. I hope 2023 will bring good news to me and my Ex will give me a second chance.. Hugs 🤗💕
Love is quite the complex thing. . .
Hey Coach just wanted to say I love your content. It's been hard but gets easier everyday with the exception of harder days sometimes. You've been my saving grace in all this. Been in no contact for 7 months and my soon to be ex wife reached out to my Aunt to ask how I was doing, she worries about me, our kids miss me etc.... Due to legal obligations I can't talk to her or our kids. Do you think she's barely hitting the curiosity/ concern stage 7 months later? I sense there's still love there but also mixed feelings.
My ex broke up with me on the 11th this month, then he contacted me again last night. I just read the message with no reply. He texted me again twice today and I did the same thing. Because that was what he did to me before he asked for a breakup. He only read my message and didn’t reply, the next day I texted him again and forced him to reply. That was when he said he wants a breakup. I love this revenge. I hope he will learn his lesson. I still feel pity for not replying since I love him.
If you want them back, you must not ignore them.
@@nbee6217 I just want him to respect me so that he knows my value. If he knows my value, he wouldn't come and leave as he wanted. We broke up like 5 times already.
@@aliarsenal6136 a revenge mindset is bad in this situation just talk to him
@@SonGoku-ep4wj I talked to him. I said I feel unvalued and we hangout less now. If he love me, he would make all the changes but it seems like he is showing no effort to do so. I think he doesnt love me anymore. I am the type of person who would tell my partner what I think, I wont let them trying to figure it out by themselves.
They must taste their own medicine in order to get better in the future. It's call mirroring. You give only as much as you get. It goes both ways: positive and negative.
So, I’m not much for assumption, and hate hanging my hat on hope…but when she’s the one to bring up these memories we share, intimate times, road trips we took…and also sends me pictures of some of our memories, what does that say about how she feels? I have not once brought up memories we have, but I sure enjoy going down memory lane with her. I want to make more memories with her. If her actions are an indication, I think one day we will. Our connection is deep. She reaches out to me when she’s upset, or when she has good news to share…she says I’m “the only one that gets her.” She broke up with me because I was going through a hard time in my life, and neglected her and her son…but I treated them so good, and we had a great relationship overall. I think she’s realizing what we had was truly something special. At least her actions speak that.
Coach Lee, you are the most concise relationship coach I have ever come across . I have a question what if you want your ex back , but you have seen some narcissistic characters but are not certain? What if the breakup was bad ,how do you know that a person wants you back after a bad breakup?
You won’t have to ask. If he really wants you back, he will contact you and want to see you at least.
@@RealCoachLee 👌
@@RealCoachLee I want to say ...I see God in you ,speech ,conduct and way of thinking ....One doesn't need to wonder where the wisdom is from ! Thankful for your contribution in out generation 🙏
Update?
I did NC for a few months, have been bettering myself, I still feel like I did wrong, I know she initiated the break up but now me and her have been talking/messaging more frequently now, I don’t bring up anything that happened in our relationship since the relationship only lasted a month but we built a good friendship prior before we started dating, she picked me up and drove me home from a convention we both went to back in July and next weekend, me her and few of our friends from church are going camping, last weekend we were at ribfest and me and her talked by the lake together, I am praying me and her can get back together in another relationship because we didn’t end on bad terms but I have been focusing on myself and seeing counselling
Like the 7ways you talk about really helpful thanks for sharing
1) no contact
2) don’t show anger
3) memories/inside jokes/ stories
4) listen to your ex with understanding and without judgment
5) don’t lie
6) do not betray confidence
Great concise video . All your vids are great .
damn, it's tough it's been a month since we breakup and now it's 4 days of nc she won't admit she has a bf now i was toxic and self centered i kinda deserve this pain i brought to myself but you made me feel better coach.
The one who made me believe in love and the one who proves that losing someone is quite painful, however even if she comes back, not come back i'm glad she was a part of my life😊
Were you in denial at first
So I posted a scene from the notebook with Noah and Allie, when Noah is confessing his love to Allie. My ex responded with a “lol 😂”.. only has been a few days of no contact.
Jeeeze, why would you post that. Cringe
Excellent advice. Thanks again!
So timely I do want t to be a better listener the rewards are great I aim to be kind always. …being right is not important.
Thanks coach Lee
Point no 6 very important
During the time of my breakup, my ex revealed few of personal/intimate things which had happened only between two of us or within our family
I felt this was very childish, immature behaviour and think of this act as not trustworthy which puts me off whenever I think of it
Coach Lee.
It has been 41 days since i last heard from my ex . we were together for 4 yrs. . I started no contact shortly afterwards. I caved and reached out a couple of times. Which i now know i shouldn't have. I stopped all contact with her. Then today i reached out saying i was thinking about her alot and hoped she was doing well. Of course i got nothing back. I feel like a failure for caving in. I have been going to the gym and keeping myself busy. I have had good days and some not so good days dealing with this. I listen to your videos constantly and they give myself strength. I feel now i have to start NC all over again. Knowing what i know about her i dont know if she will return . any words of encouragement you could give me to apply and stay strong during these trying times?
Ohhh exciting video!!
I'm listening to her talk about some guy who lives in another country but is leading her on. Making her feel like he's going to come and save her 😣😣🤣. But we're spending time together so I just sit there so she feels like someone is listening to her. I look for this to be over lol. Gaining her trust and not be judgemental is the goal.
Thank you so much for this Teaching Coach Lee ! You help me very much of understanding my ex's Feelings and not just about Mine. 💝💖
Hi coach lee, thanks for your videos u Know wen my ex left me I was so so heartbroken,I couldn't eat...or do anything but something told me if only I can receive coaching and I decided to go on RUclips and i searched and then found u and things were bad but now am okay still pushing it's not 2 months of NC and my ex mother communicated to me
@Wizkid star boy really
this morning i found out my ex's sister unfirend me on fb... i have no idea whats going on here.. like probbly my situation is really hopeless... 5 years relationship just gone like a game over.....i thought we were strong enough to be able to work anything out.... 25 days of no contact ... almost 2 months since i moved out.... 10 days till my bday... i really wanna die just die and forget about everything every memory that was with him involved
Pek1121, I know how you feel. I was engaged to be married for 5 years, and it turned out that he was only USING ME! I really loved him. I even ended up in the Hospital with stomach issues. I went into Therapy, I went out with people, and I read.
That toomy mind off him. TIME HELPEF ME. YOU CAN DO THIS! Take care of yourself, DON'T CALL HER...IN TIME YOU WILL FEEL DIFFERENTLY. God bless you. Bug hug..❤️⚘️⚘️
They go back in the garbage because they lose something of great value 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
I just got broken up with two days ago. She said some very cruel things to me and told me to move on and threatened to block me if I didn’t agree to be friends. I told her she was being disrespectful and I don’t want to be friends. She then texted me a few hours later saying this is breaking her and she doesn’t want me out of her life. And asked me for suggestions on what to do. I told her we can talk about things but she never responded to me. It seems like maybe she doesn’t know what she wants. I’m not sure but I’ve been in no contact since then and will continue it.
stay no contact and focus on yourself
@@robertswift6101 thanks I will
Call her for a meet up
I wouldn't call her for a meet-up, nope. Keep strong with the No Contact, be patient, strong and focus on yourself. The best way to help someone who doesn't know what they want is to let them figure it out themselves. Without your presence, she will start realising what's missing. If you are available all the time, she won't be able to see it. Give her what she wants. Keep strong with No Contact! It always works! 💫✨
@@livbeyond Thank you for the advice! I agree with you. I’ll keep in no contact and focus on myself while she figures it out. She deleted her twitter account yesterday. I’m not sure why she would do this. She didn’t block me. I confirmed it. I’m not sure if it was to get my attention. But I didn’t react to it and kept in no contact.
Great Video
thank you for all your help 🙏 ❤️ NC 5 weeks 😞 last night I had some random nightmare 👻 When I woke up, I just followed my instinct, grab mobile & I wanted text him 😓 habit 😢
Its even worse when you keep dreaming about them and can't make it stop.
Have a nightmare about losing them or being with them, and wake up into the nightmare for real, and you can't escape it. Its horrible...
I would have shown anger if you hadn't said that 😯
15 years of friendship, 2 and a half years of a situationship after he moved into my spare room and then nothing, after an argument and him leaving. It’s been 12 days in no contact, even though I left him alone he decided to block me. At first I struggled to cope, then I felt better and I’m able to go to sleep and wake up ok. My days are good but, every night I spend about an hour or 2 thinking of him so this is where I come as it’s painful
Anybody had fall out with their crushes ?
What happens when menopause is a factor?
Coach, could you do a video on what to do since you say not to ignore your ex on if your ex keeps texting you about insignificant things or breadcrumbing and what to do?
I’m in that situation too. I’m getting to the point where I’m almost about to day listen this is too challenging for me when we text during the circumstances so contact me when your ready to date.
What if you made all the mistakes possible? And, you were the dumper, but your ex doesn’t want you back and (they told you) now is dating someone else.
9 months into relationship 12 days of no contact...I'll wait until jan1 2023 , I hope she returns : )
It's different for avoidants, I think. They just don't seem to care that much one way or the other. Has anyone got any positive real-life stories about NC working on this type of attachment style?
I don’t understand you are supposed to be cordial and short with your ex yet when they are talking to you you listen and interact?
thomesc6214, I highly recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit which will help you immensely. It has strategies for every situation including yours.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
This Kit will answer your questions. Take care..
i really miss him 😭😭
kesegopreio, I suggest you book a Coaching session with Coach Lee or a coach on his staff
myexbackcoach.com/book-with-coach-lee/
If he or she is a toxic person the no contact rule will not work.Keep your options open you will find someone way better.
what if you keep no contact, but they still want to meet up, call me up, and check in on me when they miss me?
Bro don't ignore them. Be a gentlemen. The whole no contact rule is to make them reach out to you. If they do, talk to them. Be nice to them. Polite. Keep the convo up beat. BUT... don't chase them. Keep your dignity intact. Don't talk about the past. Or future. Don't talk about the relationship. Be friendly but at the same time. Flirt with them.
Hi Coach lee, I've come across your channel just recently and I'm beginning to learn alot.
I've came out of a 4 month relationship, but In that time we fell madly in love with each other. But unfortunately as time Went on I was being angry at nothing and causing arguments almost every day.. said a few things out of line last week and it pushed her away from me. Said she doesn't feel the same way towards me, or even looks at me the same as she once did and needs some space and breathing time to decide what she really wants. I'm going to give her it, I'm just worried Incase I'm left hanging on still trying to fight for something, but she moves on with her time to think and breathe. I am already very hurt as it is and don't want to feel any worse down the line
I started no contact right after she said we are never going to have a relationship, one month after, she wrote hoping that I was doing well and I responded normal not showing emotion, after that no contact for another 9 month and she again wrote that her best friend had heard me on the radio and wished the that I was doing ok which I didnt believe because she knows I dont do radio, but that was 6 month ago and no contact since!
I wish i found coach lee’s videos since after break up…so i did not push my ex further away😭…it’s been 8months now since we broke up and nothing happend even i got coach lee emergency break up and i even spoke to coach ken😢
Good tips! 💯
Well my ex seen me with with my new lady on social no getting her back
Two things.. One - How to apply these if he never wants to reach out?
Two - how to be honest with him, when he lied to me at the end, about the reason for breaking up.
🤔
About 5 weeks since the breakup & about 2 weeks of NC. We had a great relationship but it was becoming something unhealthy, I am shattered she left me, she would say she misses me, loves me & cares for me but says she needs to time & that she’d like to be friends
Not sure where to go from here, I can only hope NC works, if not to fix the relationship, I’d just love to have my best friend back
Coach Lee - My ex has NO social media. He lives 60 miles away also. So I will not "run" into him, and we wont be able to "like" the same posts and stuff.....how can I possibly share ONE memory or inside joke? Wait for when he does contact? Being that he doesnt have SM and is further away presents challenges to me of how I keep him thinking about me. We had amazing times together and amazing laughs for close to 2 years......but some recent pressure and arguments "overwhelmed" him too much and he needed "space"
Yes, wait for him to contact you - as you are in No Contact.
I can relate. My ex has no social media either. I guess we sit back and see if they contact us. It's been almost a month since he broke up with me. Good luck and hang in there!
my ex contacted me after 43 days NC and wanted to get back together and i messed it up at that time , i told him i was scared to get back so he backed up and changed his mind , i tried to get him back again right after that and he didnt want to (saying we are not compatible and it wont work out even tho he loves me so much) , so i started NC again and now its been 20 days, will NC work again this time?
(ps we were in 4 years relationship)
My wife's left me for another guy, she tells me she needs to work on herself and all that, but everyone tells me how she's always with him at work and she's so cold toward me, I've got the no contact some what going but have to communicate because of kids and rides and etc. This is killing me, I don't think she'll ever feel regret because this guy will keep her mind off me I'm sure, I'm falling apart and so lost and don't know how much more I can handle
As good as Coach Lee is, he, like many other relationship coaches, fail to address how to maneuver all of this while concurrently going through a divorce and custody battle. 80 % of Divorces are filed by women and married men struggle to move on.
Give people real talk - like only 6 percent will get back together so let’s help you move forward…
@@river5235 ok thank you
Coach Lee sayssooooo much good stuff, certainly including this video, it's awesome, but somehow he doesn't address this. And that most dumpers ARE women, and many of them are in another relationship the day after they dump their ex BF. When that happens... she will be interested in you again... if it fails with her new ma(e)n, or isn't as great as she thought it would be. Are you OK with that? It sure adds another dimension...
@@wesperry4519 It's a scam. Don't bother. Blood sucking scammers looking to make money out of other people's misery and leeching the work of other content creators.
@@MVProfits yes that helps thank you so much, I'm so impatient, this dude's married also, the whole situation sucks and hurts so bad
I initially did the dumping but immediately reached out and apologized. We were meant to meet yesterday to discuss but he cancelled and said that making up does not come naturally to him so I should move on.
Does it mean that it is he is now the dumper? I am now in NC mode. What can I do?? Help
I am trying my best and it is hell
You can't get in there if they're narcissistic 😢
Thank you coach Lee
What would you recommend doing when a friend of the ex reaches out? She was his friend but we became friendly over the relationship. Never hung out on our own. The text didn’t say my ex asked them to reach out. It was basically along the lines of “I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner but I didn’t want to bug you. Are you doing ok? I hope we can still be friends.”
It’s been 2 weeks since breakup and immediate NC. The last time I saw the friend was about a month ago. The three of us went out to eat.
He's being having sex with that friend. Trust me.
This is a great video but it feels like the ex holds all the power and the dumped has no control. Do we have to keep the ex sweet despite all the pain they've caused, even since the break up? Do we get to express the opinion they've caused or do we stay quiet in the hopes we get them back?
I’m going to be real, I voiced my opinion about the post-break up feelings and how I feel I was taken for granted. It only resulted in being blocked, and possibly pushing my ex away. Dumpers don’t like to be reminded of the hurt they cause so it’s a coin toss how yours may respond.
There will come a time when it makes sense. But if you want them back, silence after the breakup holds the highest odds of bringing them back.
Hey Coach Lee I really appreciate your content. If it’s been 3 months of no contact but you are blocked on all socials unsure of whether or not your number is blocked, should I reach out or is it a sign they are not ready?
Don't reach out. They're aware of still having blocked you. I'm in the same situation. 1.5 months nc
@@shweine_marion it has been 105 days for me or 3 months and I’m still blocked so is there a chance
@@vassilisk8371 probably a greater chance than you think. What keeps me going is knowing I want him back only if he wants to be back but if not.. There's no other logical step but to move away from it and be open to another love. In another video I watched... Coach Lee was saying if an honest amount of time has passed and you have worked on yourself in that you are open even to a negative answer... you can reach out. (Just to know). In my opinion though.. if you're still blocked, they know it and will probably reinforce that descision if you reach out. What do you feel is best to do?
@@shweine_marion I just don’t know why I’m still blocked and she did say we’ll never see each other again or get back together and even Coach Lee said that’s nonsense but she hasn’t unblocked me. What is that amount of time that he says you can reach out?
It’s been almost one month since NC and it’s insanely hard. I want to text her at every second of every day but I know it’s best to not text her. The hard part is her mom texts me still and I don’t know what to do about it. Coach Lee hits every point on the dot about what has happened so I don’t see how he won’t hit it on the dot for what will happen.
Any update?
Hey Coach. We broke up 5 weeks ago. I reached out once to get closure since she left crying without saying anything when she asked me to break up. Today marks day 24 of NC, with some radio silence here and there. I am not watching her stories on IG. Last week she "complained" to my best friend who she sees at the gym sometimes about that, said that she cares about me and will always love me (she told him the exact same thing a few days after the break up). She started liking my pictures and doesn't miss one of my stories, but other than that there is nothing. Is there a way I can tell if NC is working?
Im the first again ❤️ thanks Coach lee
Ellen from Philippines
There was a week of No Contact but we spoke again and he said he has been thinking about me and us a lot during the No Contact. We got closer after resuming contact and we had two phone conversations since (one emotional, one not) and thereafter he even said good morning etc for three days and then he pulled away again. 😢 what should I do now…
ChrissyBerry. I recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit which will help you immensely. It has EVERYTHING in it including strategies for every situation including yours. Great for NO Contact.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
I love watching your videos. It brings me comfort! I need you to accept insurance! 😂 truly amazing words in all of your videos. Thank you!
18 days of NC she reached out and offered friendship and now we are talking nicely for almost a week now. Settled all the issues of the past. Now we talked about our daily lives and our own plans.
That is a trap