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You absolutely DO throw wine on someone who wears white at someone else's wedding. I don't care that OP didn't try to make it look like an accident. She gave that chick 2 chances to change. Actions have consequences.
"Just because she was wearing white at a wedding" Homie, that's literally the biggest no-no ever. Like the invitations clearly defined that white was reserved for the bride and groom only. OP gave this girl an opportunity to change, even offerred a spare dress. Whoever this girl was, she knew exactly what she was doing and purposely wore that dress to steal the attention away from the bride. She absolutely deserved to have that wine thrown at her. This isn't her wedding or event. She should've just contained her ego for a single night and followed the dresscode like everyone else. NTA.
Agreed, but remember with being so blatant, OP could potentially get taken to small claims court or even charged with assault. Not likely but certainly possible. The better option would just be to have her leave the wedding.
So like I don’t remember what state it is but you can literally hire a professional wine Spiller and they will spill wine on anyone wearing white to a wedding. So yeah not the asshole to me now I’m getting married in a few months and it’s not a traditional wedding ceremony so the bride wears black and blue instead of white but my wedding invitations have literally stated no black or blue dresses you can have details like a design on it but no black or blue dresses and not one person had an issue with it that they reported 🤷🏻♀️
Didn’t the invitation specifically say that white is reserved for the bride and groom? The girl just blatantly ignored it and was even given a chance. She deserved it and her family is entitled.
About the wedding story. Nah, I don't think OP was a jerk. Showing up at a wedding that isn't yours in white is a massive no-no. It's trying to show someone up. It's easy as a guy to not know how forbidden this is but as someone with 4 sisters and has attended numerous weddings these types of situations are not dealt with politely. The girl knew exactly what she was doing, she was almost even being antagonistic about it. "This ole' thing?" FOH with that she knew exactly why she was being confronted
It's not even a guy issue thing. I'm a guy, I've been to maybe 3 weddings in my life and I still know the basic rules: -don't make a speech if you don't have permission -don't do something stupid for attention (proposing, making a scene, monopolizing the bride or groom...) -don't wear white unless given permission as a bridesmaid. White is like the easiest thing to mess up anyways, so you know you're doing it on purpose It's not hard to understand, that's just basic social logic
@@docomega7862alot of men do not understand this. Im not saying it's a guy issue it's just easy to never learn wedding rules if you're a dude who has never attended one.
What if she didn't know that it was a forbidden rule? The OP is a jerk she could've just explained to her that wearing white was a bad idea and why that was instead of pouring wine on her dress and staining it?? Is normal human communication out of the picture?
@@NOT_cooleep_BTW first it was included into the invitation not to wear white. Second, you'd have to be some special kind of stupid not to know you shouldn't wear white at someone else's wedding, that's like the first rule. You're also slipping over the fact she was given a chance to change into something appropriate. Coumd the OP have been more diplomatic about it? Sure. Was it deserved? Absolutely
The wedding one was fully deserved. You don't show up wearing white and if you do, MOH has full permission to pour or 'accidentally' get wine on the white dress that isn't the bride. Good on OP.
@@aelminiatures Nah, she absolutely should have. That girl knew she was in the wrong and it's a good way to remind everyone in the future that, hey, wearing white to a wedding is going to lead to a sad time for you and your drycleaner. Having the balls to just do it is classy as fuck and kudos to her for not trying to hide behind a flimsy excuse. She did as she should have done and tbh, they can't do anything about it. Agreeing to attend the wedding is something of a social contract, and the invitation specified no white except for bride and groom. By wearing white she renegged on her part of that contract and thus, got what was coming.
for the first story: if my entitled ass neighbors just waltz in my goddamn house without my permission, you bet my ass is gonna either go into fight or flight mode and get violent or my flight response being to call the fucking cops for trespassing. I don't give a damn if their house is being renovated, my house is my goddamn safe space and by them just walking in whenever they want is gonna make me fucking safe-proof the fuck out of my house as if I have a goddamn hell spawn of a child. I don't give a fuck if some piece of paper says they can use my bathroom, kitchen etc, someones getting hurt if they come into my house without permission and act like theyre entitled to it.
I feel like a lot of women will agree, like, what a power move dumping wine on her, she gave the woman a chance and she clearly knew what she was doing even saying "this old thing" so yeah, shouldn't have worn white to a wedding just sayin
Third Story: Not the jerk, as someone whose mother had seven kids over the course of over a decade, I can confirm it's not easy having a young adult, a teenager, two adolescents, two toddlers, and one infant in your house.
Also SIL asked Op to be brutally honest,it's weird how defensive the BIL become,it's almost like he wants but don't see the expenses of having lots of kids.
8:15 It's not weird to ask for her to contribute to the house, it's weird the way you phrased it like she's a tenant in a business situation, not a partner in life. It would make more sense to be like, hey, can you help this much with utilities and groceries and such. Because after all, you did choose the house and morgage all on your own sounds like. I think the way the conversation went made her feel weird and not like you were asking for a fair contribution from a partner.
A partner shouldn’t be treated like an ATM. He has provided everything to her. Even if she contributes she’s still saving a ton money. I remember hearing a similar story with the genders flipped and everyone called the husband dumb.
I’m sorry but as an adult you should always be paying your way even if you don’t have to. It don’t matter what relationship you have with the person you, or how they ask, living aint free.
Given the choice of words ("Garden" instead of "yard", and "council home"), this takes place in the UK. They don't have an equivalent to the Second Amendment there.
Story 1: Honestly i'd just sue em for the cost of a new fence and other things. So they are either forced to sell their run down home or realize that NO means NO.
Truth be told, I've always wanted to make a small company, that we'd be called the "Assurance Crew", basically making sure everyone behaves and does not steal attention or commit faux pas intentionally or unintentionally. Like dumping wine on people wearing white when they're not supposed to be, finding people trying to get down on a knee and try to get engaged without permission, announcing pregnancies without permission, escorting people out of the wedding or sabotaging their attempts to steal attention. We wouldn't want to be a part of anyone's wedding photos, because we're not actually guests, and it would make it hard to remain incognito if someone sees us and recognises us from some picture.
Could also offer to look out for elderly guests so they have a good but safe time (make sure grandma gets to dance with a cute young hunk if she wants ;p ) and watch Uncle Lou to make sure he doesn't drink enough to start shouting about his racist inclinations.
I study Muay Thai, and if some entitled neighbours barged into my house expecting me to give up my garden all the while saying let the construction crew use my kitchen and bathroom. I guarantee I would be using those entitled neighbours as training dummies.
Where I live we have storm doors. They keep the driving rain from seeping in anywhere around the main door and prevents people from just walking in when you open the door.
I was bored, so i listened to this. Wasn't disappointed. Your videos alway manage to turn my boredom into pure anger and hatred😂 People nowadays. Those neighbors were just insane.
Their logic is that they were majorly over-spoiled as kids and had everything they wanted handed to them on a sliver platter growing up and now can't comprehend that the world doesn't revolve around them when they are adults, so they just throw tantrums and the like, thinking everyone else will just cave to them.
I think it's pretty normal the gf in the second story pays a certain amount towards the costs of living.. With how much it costs, he is hardly trying to profit off of her... Had she rented some place, she'd also have these costs and probably even more. It's only fair to share these things. Putting it in writing isn't a bad idea either.
@@lolarichter9415but she's living there too. utilities is a different thing but what's he's charging her is rent. Why should he pay all that mortgage and utilities and she just live for free there ? nah that's leeching off of him
You haven't been to many weddings have you? "Just bc she wore white..."? Wearing white to a wedding, especially one where it plainly says white reserved for bride and groom, is the BIGGEST most obvious sacred rule!
Wedding story: OP's not a jerk. White is reserved for the people getting married. The entitled woman who showed up wearing a white dress seemed like she was trying to steal the groom
I'm from a large family, and I'm telling you. You could have all the money in the world. You are only 2 people as a couple. Kids need more than just food, clothing, and a roof over their head. You are spread too thin and your kids are not going to get enough one on one time if you want 6 kids. It also never ends. You think once the little ones are out of diapers your life will be more normal. Nope, the teenage years come fast and they need you then more than ever. Even if they think they don't. Parenting is hard.. Probably one of the hardest things you will ever do because their is no "off the clock." You come home from work and rarely get that me time. Being the oldest, I chose to not have children because of how full the house was and how much work it was. I would never recommend anyone have more than 3 children unless they are a part of a culture where large extended family helps with childcare.
Been to my fair share of weddings and wearing white and not the bride is one of the 2 worst things you can do at a wedding (proposing at a wedding is a close second)
story 2 op is being fair they have a house together the gf should help with stuff is not fair the op has to pay for it all of it the narrator needs a better take again
The story bout the bf asking for rent money from the gf, made me think could he actually take that 500 a month he wants her to pay, put it into a secure account every month and than use that money for things like a vacation or getting a newer home when theyre ready ?
S1 Is a high pressure garden hose considered assault? Would it be worth it? Engagement story. Go to the dinner. Be miserable. "No, but thank you, this is really nice, but I'm just so saaad!" I mean you can force me to go somewhere, but you just maybe a little might regret it. Is there the term "chaotic compliance"?
2nd story: Absolutely NTA. The op gfs expects to live there for free ? what she is paying is not his mortgage but her rent for living there. If she doesn't want to then she's just treating op as a sugar daddy. And people suggesting he put her name on the deed ?? wtf delusional logic are you on. Do you also expect your landlords to include you on their deed bc you rent their house and they use that money to pay off their mortgage or cars ??
15:45 Op shouldn't have to have a reason for not going out and celebrating right now. No means no in every situation, not just the obvious ones. The first anser should have been "Thank you for the offer, but I have plans:" The rest of the answers should have been "This is not about you, nobody cares how YOU want to take advantage of my life." Besides, I thought the dream was to see your kids happy and successful and hopefully go wedding dress shopping and walk them down the aisle to a happy marriage. Who's ever been like "Oh, obviously the engagement part is the only thing that matters". Like is the mother expecting that there will never be a wedding to celebrate so apparently she has to settle for the engagement that she secretly thinks will fail?
I can see the point of her helping pay the bills. If you get married that's what you are supposed to do, at least that's how I was raised that both contribute to the house
I think the issue is that the way he communicated it was more like a landlord demanding rent instead of a partner asking her to help pay her part of the household bills. Also, it's not like she's not paying - he did say she has been - just that she was upset about it (probably because of how he asked more than anything). They need to have a sit down and talk about it together instead of him dictating it all to her. See what each bring to the house, how duties are divvied up, how much each can pay and what needs paying. He said it's about a 60/40 in cleaning duties, but how much does SHE think it is? Is she buying her own food and supplies or is that counted as part of the overall shopping? Are there other things she takes care of in the house that he doesn't think about? What's the household goods situation (did she bring in a bunch of furniture and/or new whitegoods)? They need to break all of this down and then figure out a reasonable amount. For example, he says 60/40 but what if she thinks it's more 80/20? What if she's actually buying extra food and supplies since they run out, out of her own money? Is she driving them everywhere when they go out? Is she paying for petrol all the time? Did she bring in most of the furniture and goods (some guys living alone don't bother with much - I have 4 brothers and their houses are... pretty empty)? In cases like that, you gotta look at everything and not just one or two aspects. It's part of living together. If he phrased it more as a joint venture than an "I have decided you need to pay..." then she might be happier since it would seem they're working on it together, not separately.
Story 1: Wow, James and Rose are complete scumbags. I've really surprised the OP and other neighbours didnt get the police involved here. Harassment, forgery, intimidation, tresspassing.... what else are those idiots capable of? I totally would've gotten the police into all this,and probably a restraining order too. Good thing the OP has other good neighbours,and a doorbell cam. May want to have a full security system against these two. Story 2: OP is not a jerk here. Its either going to be the rent or the expenses. She's probably just upset because the OP wont be paying for everything. Story 3: I'm willing to bet that the "It must be nice to have money" line was used by either the BIL or SIL in these conversations. It does seem like the OP and their family are quite well off, and it can be seen as smug or privileged to the BIL and SIL, but thats of no fault to the OP. Kids are expensive. Story 4: Mom doesn't understand, or doesn't care? There is a difference. The mom is just being a self-centered, gaslighting drama queen and its really unnecessary. I agree with the OP here, its not the old days were asking permission was expected... both the OP and fiance are adults, you dont need permission for anything from anyone else. Honestly, if the parents and other people are acting this way, i wouldnt allow them at the wedding when it happens. Story 5: OP isn't a jerk overall. The bride said no one wears white, and gave the OP the heads-up for the wine pouring. I dont see the problem. I can see why that girl and her family were pissed off, but you got the A-OK from the important person.
Story 1: I'm sorry but the instance they were in there without my permission, I would have called the cops for trespassing. Also, I could sue them for harassments too. Story 2: I think she should pay for what she uses. It's not weird of OP to tell her to contribute $500 a month. That's a little bit compared to what he has to pay. Story 3: Bro, she's just telling her what it's like to have a big family. She's not telling her to have a small one because she only wants a big family. She's trying to let her know what it's like. Also, it was the SIL that asked. Story 4: The mother needs to understand that it's the people being engaged, not the parents. The dad should shut up because OP's fiancé doesn't need to ask for permission. OP is an adult, she can take care of herself. I get to used to be like that where the guy has to ask the father/parents if they can marry there daughter, but it's there choice how they want to do it. Story 5: Dude, what's with people and wearing white to SOMEONE ELSE'S WEDDING? Like dude, it said on the invitation not the wear white, and she comes with a white dress thing. Like dude come one. I don't think OP should have thrown wine at her though. I feel like she should have done it on accident if anything. Also, i do think she should replace the dress or pay the $200.
story 2: Is having her contribute to morgagecost nit the same as having her paying rent. Being her a renter gives her also the right of a renter. ( if there are any).
I wouldn’t ask your girlfriend to pay or “contribute” to your house, understand this, if she did and you guys split, she gets claims to some of that house
Story 3: If the brother in law purposely wants an amount of kids he knows he can't support, he's no better than his own parents. OP simply told her sister in law the reality. If the guy can't deal with that, it's his own problem. Story 5: That guest was a jerk, but OP needs to pay back that dress. They should have demanded that girl would leave instead of throwing wine at her, that was stupid. If this turns into a legal battle, OP doesn't stand a chance.
Actually, no, it wouldn't. Being that the woman agreed to come to the wedding when she got the invitation specifically saying that white was reserved, she broke the social contract she agreed to and thus the consequence was suffered. Besides, didn't you hear? It's an old dress.
Engaged women...don't celebrate anything without your fiance. That is a celebration for the couple. Not your mother. Wait for your fiance to return to the country.
I don't get the need to be "present" at your kid's engagement. It is in NO way about the parents. And trying to threaten to "keep it a secret" is laughable. I mean, what a tragedy...
Wtf you mean you see where she coming from it don’t matter if the house in his name and he don’t need the money she still living there and working so she should be paying her way if he wants her to I don’t see how this is a argument.
Here is a stupid question I'm a jerk for asking my next door neighbors to hang up window blinds there windows face my backyard and they like to stare out the window at me but here's the problem they are in there birthday suits while standing in front of the large windows it's really creepy
NTJ-depending on what your local laws are like concerning indecent exposure, it may be illegal to expose yourself to a neighbour even from within your home.
Story 2: Its not that hard to as my mother and step dad hav3 a total of six kids 2 dogs a 3 cats but make under 100k a year each and still manage to be decent parents
Story 2. Put her name in the deed. Then she will feel like she’s contributing. But u also said u didn’t need the money so I feel like the rent is kinda rude. Utilities and groceries absolutely
@@MrDoverfield and the money she is paying him is going towards the mortgage. Her name should be on the deed. OP already said he didn’t need the money. Treating her like a tenant, not a fiancée
@@bsouthmama3010nah i absolutely disagree. Do you also expect your landlords to include you in their deed bc you rent a house from them and they use that money to pay their mortgage? . That's ludicrous and delusional the gf isn't even paying nearly half of what the op is paying. What she is paying is RENT not is mortgage RENT for living there
Bad take - definitely throw the wine on a white dress at someone's wedding. Do it. Part of the social contract made when agreeing to come to a wedding is that you'll behave in a manner that is proper for coming. She was given a chance to change and didn't take it. Wine is the punishment for breaking the contract made by coming.
13:20 My parents don't care what I do. I mean it whatever makes me happy. Unless it's about studying then there is a lot of U gotta read type yk. Anyway my mother doesn't even expect to marry someone. I mean kinda a lot of money Typing that and looking at the other parents my parents are cool af
Why would the girlfriend be expected to pay to live??? Gee I wonder why??? She should be taken care of for no other reason than that she is a girl!!! Equal rights and feminism means that the man takes care of everything. She gets half of his assets when she breaks up with him!!! Oh and she sends her income on herself.
Idk why people think that the last story's op isn't a jerk. She could've maybe explained to her why it was a bad idea to wear white before dunking a glass of wine on her and staining her dress? Idk why this comment section acts like there's no thing such as normal human communication? 100% a jerk move.
Exactly, she also could've just let it go as well. Every time I hear these types of catty bride stories, it just screams of insecurity. It might be annoying, but as the adult she is supposed to be,she could've just not let this action effect her
Uh, I have to disagree with you. Everyone should know by now that it is FORBIDDEN to show up to someone else's wedding in WHITE unless both the bride and groom say it's okay and it's a part of the dress code. If they say only the bride and groom can wear WHITE then you can choose another color for the dress you want to wear. It's that simple. Most people do this out of spite, to ruin the bride's moment, etc. OP gave them options to CHANGE THEIR DRESS. Even offering to give up their spare dress the woman still declined. So, OP did what needed to be done. Now you have to change it unless you're gonna wear it with that large red stain on it. Sure there are better ways to go about things but again, EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW that's not the right thing to do. Period. 😊
No, only the bride and possibly the groom do unless the bride has a winter wonderland wedding theme. Anyone else wearing white to a wedding is a piece of shtako and should be tossed out like the TRASH they are.
@@theender664 yep. USA weddings are not a place for guests to wear white unless specifically given permission by the bride and groom. It's a MASSIVE insult to the bride and is seen as trying to upstage her and take her spotlight.
'Big' family story : NTA OP, as such, but you did, imo, overemphasise the negatives of multiple pregnancies. I had six bio children, fostered at a time when there was no financial remuneration - you did it purely because it was needed and you could oblige - and never had a nanny or much by way of help. I did not do paid work but my husband was an engineering designer. We had enough, but not a lot financially to spare. You just get on with it. I now have five graduates, incl. 2 PhD's and eight grandchildren. You don't need a high income to be functioning parents, you just need to prioritise the welfare of the children and work towards it. Imo, forget the surrogate usage, as that is commodification of children and children are not a commodity, but a gift and a blessing and not promised. Drop the self interest, have honest humility and teach your children basic Christian principles - and hope they take seed and grow. Good luck.
Wedding story: This is why it's better to just be chill about the wedding and not micromanage your guests with rules. Then if someone make a fashion or social faux pas, you're not focused on it and your day isn't ruined.
I didn't get the idea that she was micromanaging, just that white was reserved for the bride and groom, which is a pretty basic social norm. I'm pretty sure they enjoyed the wine show and it didn't spoil the day. If you're wearing white to a wedding you're deliberately doing it for the sake of causing drama - you're being disrespectful and showing that on main. It's pretty much the same as standing up during the vows and walking out - causing drama just because you can. Don't blame the victim here, blame the person who deliberately chose to wear WHITE to a WEDDING.
@@7thlittleleopard7 Yes, white is reserved for the bride and groom. The problem is once you tell people not to do something, there will always be someone who will either blantantly ignore it to spite you, or think the rule doesn't apply to them because "all they have to wear is this white/off white/cream dress" so it's ok to do it. Then when they ignore your rule, whether it's wearing white or some other thing you don't want guests doing at your wedding, it becomes a challenge to you. What are you going to do about this person who broke the rule? Are you going to let it slide and let them disrespect you, or are you going to make a fuss and challenge them to change their clothes, take their kid back to the hotel, or throw them out of your wedding? What do you do if other guests get upset that so and so is allowed to bring their kid and they had to pay for a babysitter? If you make them respect the rule, it starts arguments among the family and you become the unreasonable bridezilla with people saying "it's just a dress," "how are they supposed to get a babysitter now," or whatever. And then the focus of the wedding becomes this argument. It's better to, at the most, give the guests a general idea of if your wedding is very formal or more casual, and not get into the details. The more you rules you invent the more attention the rule breakers will get. Edit: stupid typos
In the wedding story nope not a jerk at all. Everyone knows white is for the bride. That you do not wear white to a wedding unless you are the bride. I can see maybe like a little flower girl. Unless for some reason, it’s stated in the invitation that you’re allowed to wear white I think I heard a post once were somebody ended up having their guy show up and wedding dresses. I think it was because the mother of the groom was planning on wearing hers or maybe it’s the mother of the bride I can’t remember what it was. I may be a step parent to one of the two but yeah, I think that lady deserve to have a glass of wine dumped on her. She knew what she was doing. so she got what she deserved may be paid to clean her own dress will make her rethink ever doing that again
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You absolutely DO throw wine on someone who wears white at someone else's wedding. I don't care that OP didn't try to make it look like an accident. She gave that chick 2 chances to change. Actions have consequences.
Or spill some cake on then especially if it has berries in it or has chocolate or both. But the easiest is definitely red wine
It’s technically a crime to do that, and given that OP didn’t make it look like an accident, OP would lose a small claims suit if one were to happen
"Just because she was wearing white at a wedding"
Homie, that's literally the biggest no-no ever. Like the invitations clearly defined that white was reserved for the bride and groom only. OP gave this girl an opportunity to change, even offerred a spare dress. Whoever this girl was, she knew exactly what she was doing and purposely wore that dress to steal the attention away from the bride. She absolutely deserved to have that wine thrown at her. This isn't her wedding or event. She should've just contained her ego for a single night and followed the dresscode like everyone else. NTA.
Agreed, but remember with being so blatant, OP could potentially get taken to small claims court or even charged with assault. Not likely but certainly possible. The better option would just be to have her leave the wedding.
So like I don’t remember what state it is but you can literally hire a professional wine Spiller and they will spill wine on anyone wearing white to a wedding. So yeah not the asshole to me now I’m getting married in a few months and it’s not a traditional wedding ceremony so the bride wears black and blue instead of white but my wedding invitations have literally stated no black or blue dresses you can have details like a design on it but no black or blue dresses and not one person had an issue with it that they reported 🤷🏻♀️
@@eric98292 And they harassed/stalked her. So.......
It needs to be socially and legally acceptable do douse anyone in a white dress at a wedding with wine.
I would have put a disclaimer. "if you attend in white you are consenting to having wine being thrown on your dress." lol
Didn’t the invitation specifically say that white is reserved for the bride and groom? The girl just blatantly ignored it and was even given a chance. She deserved it and her family is entitled.
About the wedding story. Nah, I don't think OP was a jerk. Showing up at a wedding that isn't yours in white is a massive no-no. It's trying to show someone up. It's easy as a guy to not know how forbidden this is but as someone with 4 sisters and has attended numerous weddings these types of situations are not dealt with politely. The girl knew exactly what she was doing, she was almost even being antagonistic about it. "This ole' thing?" FOH with that she knew exactly why she was being confronted
It's not even a guy issue thing. I'm a guy, I've been to maybe 3 weddings in my life and I still know the basic rules:
-don't make a speech if you don't have permission
-don't do something stupid for attention (proposing, making a scene, monopolizing the bride or groom...)
-don't wear white unless given permission as a bridesmaid. White is like the easiest thing to mess up anyways, so you know you're doing it on purpose
It's not hard to understand, that's just basic social logic
@@docomega7862alot of men do not understand this. Im not saying it's a guy issue it's just easy to never learn wedding rules if you're a dude who has never attended one.
@@LiveBowieyou sound dumb af. Foh.
What are you 11?
What if she didn't know that it was a forbidden rule? The OP is a jerk she could've just explained to her that wearing white was a bad idea and why that was instead of pouring wine on her dress and staining it?? Is normal human communication out of the picture?
@@NOT_cooleep_BTW first it was included into the invitation not to wear white. Second, you'd have to be some special kind of stupid not to know you shouldn't wear white at someone else's wedding, that's like the first rule. You're also slipping over the fact she was given a chance to change into something appropriate. Coumd the OP have been more diplomatic about it? Sure. Was it deserved? Absolutely
The wedding one was fully deserved. You don't show up wearing white and if you do, MOH has full permission to pour or 'accidentally' get wine on the white dress that isn't the bride. Good on OP.
she should have not made it look obvious.
@@aelminiatures Nah, she absolutely should have. That girl knew she was in the wrong and it's a good way to remind everyone in the future that, hey, wearing white to a wedding is going to lead to a sad time for you and your drycleaner. Having the balls to just do it is classy as fuck and kudos to her for not trying to hide behind a flimsy excuse. She did as she should have done and tbh, they can't do anything about it.
Agreeing to attend the wedding is something of a social contract, and the invitation specified no white except for bride and groom. By wearing white she renegged on her part of that contract and thus, got what was coming.
for the first story: if my entitled ass neighbors just waltz in my goddamn house without my permission, you bet my ass is gonna either go into fight or flight mode and get violent or my flight response being to call the fucking cops for trespassing.
I don't give a damn if their house is being renovated, my house is my goddamn safe space and by them just walking in whenever they want is gonna make me fucking safe-proof the fuck out of my house as if I have a goddamn hell spawn of a child. I don't give a fuck if some piece of paper says they can use my bathroom, kitchen etc, someones getting hurt if they come into my house without permission and act like theyre entitled to it.
I feel like a lot of women will agree, like, what a power move dumping wine on her, she gave the woman a chance and she clearly knew what she was doing even saying "this old thing" so yeah, shouldn't have worn white to a wedding just sayin
Third Story: Not the jerk, as someone whose mother had seven kids over the course of over a decade, I can confirm it's not easy having a young adult, a teenager, two adolescents, two toddlers, and one infant in your house.
Also SIL asked Op to be brutally honest,it's weird how defensive the BIL become,it's almost like he wants but don't see the expenses of having lots of kids.
its irresponsible to have more kids then you can afford to support
So mad like they can afford it but just do not want to. So sad
Story 4: Classic case of the family declaring your engagement, wedding, and/or pregnancy as everyone's
8:15 It's not weird to ask for her to contribute to the house, it's weird the way you phrased it like she's a tenant in a business situation, not a partner in life. It would make more sense to be like, hey, can you help this much with utilities and groceries and such. Because after all, you did choose the house and morgage all on your own sounds like. I think the way the conversation went made her feel weird and not like you were asking for a fair contribution from a partner.
A partner shouldn’t be treated like an ATM. He has provided everything to her. Even if she contributes she’s still saving a ton money. I remember hearing a similar story with the genders flipped and everyone called the husband dumb.
I’m sorry but as an adult you should always be paying your way even if you don’t have to. It don’t matter what relationship you have with the person you, or how they ask, living aint free.
The first story.....I wouldn't be livid, I'd be armed
Sounds like England.
Who gets mad (parents) because they weren’t included in the engagement??? I hear people
For the first story I would’ve threaten them with my second amendment
Council homes are usually a UK thing I believe.
I would have gotten either violent or call the cops on their dumbasses. like my house is my damn safe space you didn't pay for this shit
Given the choice of words ("Garden" instead of "yard", and "council home"), this takes place in the UK. They don't have an equivalent to the Second Amendment there.
Story 1: Honestly i'd just sue em for the cost of a new fence and other things. So they are either forced to sell their run down home or realize that NO means NO.
Truth be told, I've always wanted to make a small company, that we'd be called the "Assurance Crew", basically making sure everyone behaves and does not steal attention or commit faux pas intentionally or unintentionally. Like dumping wine on people wearing white when they're not supposed to be, finding people trying to get down on a knee and try to get engaged without permission, announcing pregnancies without permission, escorting people out of the wedding or sabotaging their attempts to steal attention. We wouldn't want to be a part of anyone's wedding photos, because we're not actually guests, and it would make it hard to remain incognito if someone sees us and recognises us from some picture.
Could also offer to look out for elderly guests so they have a good but safe time (make sure grandma gets to dance with a cute young hunk if she wants ;p ) and watch Uncle Lou to make sure he doesn't drink enough to start shouting about his racist inclinations.
I study Muay Thai, and if some entitled neighbours barged into my house expecting me to give up my garden all the while saying let the construction crew use my kitchen and bathroom. I guarantee I would be using those entitled neighbours as training dummies.
Where I live we have storm doors. They keep the driving rain from seeping in anywhere around the main door and prevents people from just walking in when you open the door.
I was bored, so i listened to this. Wasn't disappointed. Your videos alway manage to turn my boredom into pure anger and hatred😂
People nowadays. Those neighbors were just insane.
I will never understand Karen logic. Nor do I really want to.
Its not really logic anymore lol
@@Delphox13 yeah true.
Their logic is that they were majorly over-spoiled as kids and had everything they wanted handed to them on a sliver platter growing up and now can't comprehend that the world doesn't revolve around them when they are adults, so they just throw tantrums and the like, thinking everyone else will just cave to them.
@@QuickManEXE Think Veruca Salt from _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory._
19:02 it is expected of the brides maid to dump red wine on someone who isn't allowed to wear wight
Here we go again 😊
Wow the entitlement of some people os just mind-blowing!!
Call the police on them and get a restraining order against them
OP1: UMM WTF benefit were you supposed to get from this idiotic contract???
I think it's pretty normal the gf in the second story pays a certain amount towards the costs of living.. With how much it costs, he is hardly trying to profit off of her... Had she rented some place, she'd also have these costs and probably even more. It's only fair to share these things. Putting it in writing isn't a bad idea either.
That's what paying her share of the utilities is for. He shouldn't have her paying HIS mortgage too. She's not on the title of the house
@@lolarichter9415but she's living there too. utilities is a different thing but what's he's charging her is rent. Why should he pay all that mortgage and utilities and she just live for free there ? nah that's leeching off of him
ONLY thing OP did wrong with the wine on the dress thing was not make it look like an accident
You haven't been to many weddings have you? "Just bc she wore white..."? Wearing white to a wedding, especially one where it plainly says white reserved for bride and groom, is the BIGGEST most obvious sacred rule!
I agree the wine wasnt a good idea but its too funny 😂😂😂
The Engagement story: Dear Parents, your child's engagement is NOT about YOU.
Throwing wine on people and tackling threats ate part of the bridesmaid/maid of honor duties
Wedding story: OP's not a jerk. White is reserved for the people getting married. The entitled woman who showed up wearing a white dress seemed like she was trying to steal the groom
Mom and Dad can be at the next engagement party, because there will be one!
Yep, Karen's deserve to be sent to the sun
Well, that's what happens when you wear white to a wedding.
I'm from a large family, and I'm telling you. You could have all the money in the world. You are only 2 people as a couple. Kids need more than just food, clothing, and a roof over their head. You are spread too thin and your kids are not going to get enough one on one time if you want 6 kids. It also never ends. You think once the little ones are out of diapers your life will be more normal. Nope, the teenage years come fast and they need you then more than ever. Even if they think they don't. Parenting is hard.. Probably one of the hardest things you will ever do because their is no "off the clock." You come home from work and rarely get that me time. Being the oldest, I chose to not have children because of how full the house was and how much work it was. I would never recommend anyone have more than 3 children unless they are a part of a culture where large extended family helps with childcare.
As they say: "It takes a town to raise a child."
Been to my fair share of weddings and wearing white and not the bride is one of the 2 worst things you can do at a wedding (proposing at a wedding is a close second)
story 2 op is being fair they have a house together the gf should help with stuff is not fair the op has to pay for it all of it the narrator needs a better take again
They don't tho. Op has a house, not the gf, so it's not fair to make her pay his morgage when she doesn't get any share of the house
@@linola644it his house but she’s benefiting by not paying rent
@@linola644She lives there.
They don’t have a house “together”. She lives there, but has no stake
@@bsouthmama3010 no stakes just living there free of charge
The story bout the bf asking for rent money from the gf, made me think could he actually take that 500 a month he wants her to pay, put it into a secure account every month and than use that money for things like a vacation or getting a newer home when theyre ready ?
OP2: You are quite the Richard, Sir.
S1 Is a high pressure garden hose considered assault? Would it be worth it?
Engagement story. Go to the dinner. Be miserable. "No, but thank you, this is really nice, but I'm just so saaad!" I mean you can force me to go somewhere, but you just maybe a little might regret it. Is there the term "chaotic compliance"?
It is 1000% acceptable to “accidentally “ pour wine on someone who wears a white dress to a wedding.
Video cameras and restraining orders should be in place as well as trespassing charges
she doesnt want to help with rent? shes living there it only seems fair they both pay rent
She wanted a sugar daddy.
Walk into my home unannounced and you might not leave
Story 3. Tell em all to screw off
2nd story get rid of the gf and don’t get married yet 5years is way too soon I bet she knows she takin advantage of your kindness
2nd story: Absolutely NTA. The op gfs expects to live there for free ? what she is paying is not his mortgage but her rent for living there. If she doesn't want to then she's just treating op as a sugar daddy. And people suggesting he put her name on the deed ?? wtf delusional logic are you on. Do you also expect your landlords to include you on their deed bc you rent their house and they use that money to pay off their mortgage or cars ??
15:45 Op shouldn't have to have a reason for not going out and celebrating right now. No means no in every situation, not just the obvious ones. The first anser should have been "Thank you for the offer, but I have plans:" The rest of the answers should have been "This is not about you, nobody cares how YOU want to take advantage of my life."
Besides, I thought the dream was to see your kids happy and successful and hopefully go wedding dress shopping and walk them down the aisle to a happy marriage. Who's ever been like "Oh, obviously the engagement part is the only thing that matters". Like is the mother expecting that there will never be a wedding to celebrate so apparently she has to settle for the engagement that she secretly thinks will fail?
I can see the point of her helping pay the bills. If you get married that's what you are supposed to do, at least that's how I was raised that both contribute to the house
I think the issue is that the way he communicated it was more like a landlord demanding rent instead of a partner asking her to help pay her part of the household bills. Also, it's not like she's not paying - he did say she has been - just that she was upset about it (probably because of how he asked more than anything). They need to have a sit down and talk about it together instead of him dictating it all to her. See what each bring to the house, how duties are divvied up, how much each can pay and what needs paying.
He said it's about a 60/40 in cleaning duties, but how much does SHE think it is? Is she buying her own food and supplies or is that counted as part of the overall shopping? Are there other things she takes care of in the house that he doesn't think about? What's the household goods situation (did she bring in a bunch of furniture and/or new whitegoods)?
They need to break all of this down and then figure out a reasonable amount. For example, he says 60/40 but what if she thinks it's more 80/20? What if she's actually buying extra food and supplies since they run out, out of her own money? Is she driving them everywhere when they go out? Is she paying for petrol all the time? Did she bring in most of the furniture and goods (some guys living alone don't bother with much - I have 4 brothers and their houses are... pretty empty)?
In cases like that, you gotta look at everything and not just one or two aspects. It's part of living together. If he phrased it more as a joint venture than an "I have decided you need to pay..." then she might be happier since it would seem they're working on it together, not separately.
3:28 blud liked that💀💀💀
😮what. The heck. Cops.
That wine was definitely necessary, you don’t ever wear white to a wedding, if you do there’s gonna be consequences.
Story 1: Wow, James and Rose are complete scumbags. I've really surprised the OP and other neighbours didnt get the police involved here. Harassment, forgery, intimidation, tresspassing.... what else are those idiots capable of? I totally would've gotten the police into all this,and probably a restraining order too. Good thing the OP has other good neighbours,and a doorbell cam. May want to have a full security system against these two.
Story 2: OP is not a jerk here. Its either going to be the rent or the expenses. She's probably just upset because the OP wont be paying for everything.
Story 3: I'm willing to bet that the "It must be nice to have money" line was used by either the BIL or SIL in these conversations. It does seem like the OP and their family are quite well off, and it can be seen as smug or privileged to the BIL and SIL, but thats of no fault to the OP. Kids are expensive.
Story 4: Mom doesn't understand, or doesn't care? There is a difference. The mom is just being a self-centered, gaslighting drama queen and its really unnecessary. I agree with the OP here, its not the old days were asking permission was expected... both the OP and fiance are adults, you dont need permission for anything from anyone else. Honestly, if the parents and other people are acting this way, i wouldnt allow them at the wedding when it happens.
Story 5: OP isn't a jerk overall. The bride said no one wears white, and gave the OP the heads-up for the wine pouring. I dont see the problem. I can see why that girl and her family were pissed off, but you got the A-OK from the important person.
Story 2: She wanted a sugar daddy, not a boyfriend.
Story 1: I'm sorry but the instance they were in there without my permission, I would have called the cops for trespassing. Also, I could sue them for harassments too.
Story 2: I think she should pay for what she uses. It's not weird of OP to tell her to contribute $500 a month. That's a little bit compared to what he has to pay.
Story 3: Bro, she's just telling her what it's like to have a big family. She's not telling her to have a small one because she only wants a big family. She's trying to let her know what it's like. Also, it was the SIL that asked.
Story 4: The mother needs to understand that it's the people being engaged, not the parents. The dad should shut up because OP's fiancé doesn't need to ask for permission. OP is an adult, she can take care of herself. I get to used to be like that where the guy has to ask the father/parents if they can marry there daughter, but it's there choice how they want to do it.
Story 5: Dude, what's with people and wearing white to SOMEONE ELSE'S WEDDING? Like dude, it said on the invitation not the wear white, and she comes with a white dress thing. Like dude come one. I don't think OP should have thrown wine at her though. I feel like she should have done it on accident if anything. Also, i do think she should replace the dress or pay the $200.
The character at the beginning looks like nendo from saki k
story 2:
Is having her contribute to morgagecost nit the same as having her paying rent.
Being her a renter gives her also the right of a renter. ( if there are any).
You would not want to hear what I would have to say to these people no. You wouldn't. They wouldn't.😊
Second story NTA
I wouldn’t ask your girlfriend to pay or “contribute” to your house, understand this, if she did and you guys split, she gets claims to some of that house
Story 3: If the brother in law purposely wants an amount of kids he knows he can't support, he's no better than his own parents. OP simply told her sister in law the reality. If the guy can't deal with that, it's his own problem.
Story 5: That guest was a jerk, but OP needs to pay back that dress. They should have demanded that girl would leave instead of throwing wine at her, that was stupid. If this turns into a legal battle, OP doesn't stand a chance.
Actually, no, it wouldn't. Being that the woman agreed to come to the wedding when she got the invitation specifically saying that white was reserved, she broke the social contract she agreed to and thus the consequence was suffered. Besides, didn't you hear? It's an old dress.
I'm of the opinion that the absolute only time it's appropriate to go around and throw wine on someone is when they wear white to someone's wedding
Who shares their actual engagement?
The wine was deserved. It is the height of disrespect to wear white at a wedding
Engaged women...don't celebrate anything without your fiance. That is a celebration for the couple. Not your mother. Wait for your fiance to return to the country.
I don't get the need to be "present" at your kid's engagement. It is in NO way about the parents. And trying to threaten to "keep it a secret" is laughable. I mean, what a tragedy...
" Entitled people have no shortage of the audacity. " - Charlotte Dobre
OP4: Your mother is psychotic. Your dad is barely behind her.
I saw this 18 minutes ago
This guy really doesn’t understand that you don’t put on white if you are not the one getting married
Hey, fun fact, did you know bridesmaid are actually allowed to pour wine on someone who’s not the bride but they’re wearing white :) 18:48
Wtf you mean you see where she coming from it don’t matter if the house in his name and he don’t need the money she still living there and working so she should be paying her way if he wants her to I don’t see how this is a argument.
For the first story, step up in my house like that and get the long range stapler
Here is a stupid question I'm a jerk for asking my next door neighbors to hang up window blinds there windows face my backyard and they like to stare out the window at me but here's the problem they are in there birthday suits while standing in front of the large windows it's really creepy
NTJ-depending on what your local laws are like concerning indecent exposure, it may be illegal to expose yourself to a neighbour even from within your home.
Story 2: Its not that hard to as my mother and step dad hav3 a total of six kids 2 dogs a 3 cats but make under 100k a year each and still manage to be decent parents
History repeated 💀💀💀
Why do they say live now instead of what it was
I wanna know what the wife did in story 3 to earn a passive income that high.
Shareholdership, day trading, stuff such as that, duh!
The more you advertise another channel the more likely we’re not gonna watch the whole video.
Story 2. Put her name in the deed. Then she will feel like she’s contributing. But u also said u didn’t need the money so I feel like the rent is kinda rude. Utilities and groceries absolutely
Why? She’s literally saving money on rent
@@MrDoverfield and the money she is paying him is going towards the mortgage. Her name should be on the deed. OP already said he didn’t need the money. Treating her like a tenant, not a fiancée
@@bsouthmama3010 only a small portion will go towards the mortgage
@@bsouthmama3010nah i absolutely disagree. Do you also expect your landlords to include you in their deed bc you rent a house from them and they use that money to pay their mortgage? . That's ludicrous and delusional the gf isn't even paying nearly half of what the op is paying. What she is paying is RENT not is mortgage RENT for living there
Seems reasonable but like guy said different wording to the gf
Bad take - definitely throw the wine on a white dress at someone's wedding. Do it. Part of the social contract made when agreeing to come to a wedding is that you'll behave in a manner that is proper for coming. She was given a chance to change and didn't take it. Wine is the punishment for breaking the contract made by coming.
How creepy that you whine and become a victim because you didn't get to be involved in your child's literal engagement proposal
What game ru playing in the video
13:20
My parents don't care what I do. I mean it whatever makes me happy. Unless it's about studying then there is a lot of U gotta read type yk. Anyway my mother doesn't even expect to marry someone. I mean kinda a lot of money
Typing that and looking at the other parents my parents are cool af
The last story
That’s my girl right there love you
Why would the girlfriend be expected to pay to live??? Gee I wonder why??? She should be taken care of for no other reason than that she is a girl!!! Equal rights and feminism means that the man takes care of everything. She gets half of his assets when she breaks up with him!!! Oh and she sends her income on herself.
18:48 op could easily get charged with assault and destruction of property for pouring wine onto that dress
Guy or a girl, you should at least pay on the bills for where you live.
THAT'S THE ADULT THING TO DO
What game is that?
Idk why people think that the last story's op isn't a jerk. She could've maybe explained to her why it was a bad idea to wear white before dunking a glass of wine on her and staining her dress? Idk why this comment section acts like there's no thing such as normal human communication? 100% a jerk move.
Exactly, she also could've just let it go as well. Every time I hear these types of catty bride stories, it just screams of insecurity. It might be annoying, but as the adult she is supposed to be,she could've just not let this action effect her
14:23 OP is just dumb
Uh, I have to disagree with you. Everyone should know by now that it is FORBIDDEN to show up to someone else's wedding in WHITE unless both the bride and groom say it's okay and it's a part of the dress code. If they say only the bride and groom can wear WHITE then you can choose another color for the dress you want to wear. It's that simple. Most people do this out of spite, to ruin the bride's moment, etc. OP gave them options to CHANGE THEIR DRESS. Even offering to give up their spare dress the woman still declined. So, OP did what needed to be done. Now you have to change it unless you're gonna wear it with that large red stain on it. Sure there are better ways to go about things but again, EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW that's not the right thing to do. Period. 😊
some feedback, I do not like the background gameplay due to the kind of blo0od
since when can't you wear white stuff on a wedding?
most people wear white on a wedding @_@
No, only the bride and possibly the groom do unless the bride has a winter wonderland wedding theme. Anyone else wearing white to a wedding is a piece of shtako and should be tossed out like the TRASH they are.
the white dress is for the bride
@@viviennemorgan7217 yeah, maybe it's one of those USA things
@@theender664 yep. USA weddings are not a place for guests to wear white unless specifically given permission by the bride and groom. It's a MASSIVE insult to the bride and is seen as trying to upstage her and take her spotlight.
@@firebrand420 right...
Weird stuff, every culture has something weird
'Big' family story : NTA OP, as such, but you did, imo, overemphasise the negatives of multiple pregnancies. I had six bio children, fostered at a time when there was no financial remuneration - you did it purely because it was needed and you could oblige - and never had a nanny or much by way of help. I did not do paid work but my husband was an engineering designer. We had enough, but not a lot financially to spare. You just get on with it. I now have five graduates, incl. 2 PhD's and eight grandchildren. You don't need a high income to be functioning parents, you just need to prioritise the welfare of the children and work towards it. Imo, forget the surrogate usage, as that is commodification of children and children are not a commodity, but a gift and a blessing and not promised. Drop the self interest, have honest humility and teach your children basic Christian principles - and hope they take seed and grow. Good luck.
Wedding story: This is why it's better to just be chill about the wedding and not micromanage your guests with rules. Then if someone make a fashion or social faux pas, you're not focused on it and your day isn't ruined.
I didn't get the idea that she was micromanaging, just that white was reserved for the bride and groom, which is a pretty basic social norm. I'm pretty sure they enjoyed the wine show and it didn't spoil the day. If you're wearing white to a wedding you're deliberately doing it for the sake of causing drama - you're being disrespectful and showing that on main. It's pretty much the same as standing up during the vows and walking out - causing drama just because you can. Don't blame the victim here, blame the person who deliberately chose to wear WHITE to a WEDDING.
@@7thlittleleopard7 Yes, white is reserved for the bride and groom. The problem is once you tell people not to do something, there will always be someone who will either blantantly ignore it to spite you, or think the rule doesn't apply to them because "all they have to wear is this white/off white/cream dress" so it's ok to do it. Then when they ignore your rule, whether it's wearing white or some other thing you don't want guests doing at your wedding, it becomes a challenge to you. What are you going to do about this person who broke the rule? Are you going to let it slide and let them disrespect you, or are you going to make a fuss and challenge them to change their clothes, take their kid back to the hotel, or throw them out of your wedding? What do you do if other guests get upset that so and so is allowed to bring their kid and they had to pay for a babysitter? If you make them respect the rule, it starts arguments among the family and you become the unreasonable bridezilla with people saying "it's just a dress," "how are they supposed to get a babysitter now," or whatever. And then the focus of the wedding becomes this argument. It's better to, at the most, give the guests a general idea of if your wedding is very formal or more casual, and not get into the details. The more you rules you invent the more attention the rule breakers will get.
Edit: stupid typos
18:50 I totally disagree it’s 100 percent ok the bride said no white dresses so to bad so sad
In the wedding story nope not a jerk at all. Everyone knows white is for the bride. That you do not wear white to a wedding unless you are the bride. I can see maybe like a little flower girl. Unless for some reason, it’s stated in the invitation that you’re allowed to wear white I think I heard a post once were somebody ended up having their guy show up and wedding dresses. I think it was because the mother of the groom was planning on wearing hers or maybe it’s the mother of the bride I can’t remember what it was. I may be a step parent to one of the two but yeah, I think that lady deserve to have a glass of wine dumped on her. She knew what she was doing. so she got what she deserved may be paid to clean her own dress will make her rethink ever doing that again
18:38 of course you should you child
nothing will entitle you to destroy someone elses stuff