So true What do you do when things just get worst. It's like they don't want to hear it. The addiction is so strong? I know I'm co dependent and I'm just not living because.of all the trauma
@@debbiebolek2117 yes, same in my life due to trauma (of narc mother & emotional not present father), i had to go nc since i was dying, i'm very ill. i don't blame, i forgive, and need to stay away or i won't survive this
blaming i don't do anymore (narc mother, emotional not present father), it's gotten me so ill these ways of living, i did not know any better, thanks to good people like Gabor & many others on the web, i learned how it all 'worked', and why i'm so drained, chronic ill & scared, with no contact & forgiveness i can heal, it will be the rest of my life hard work, i've 'wasted' so much of my life & my health due to it tho. One can say what happend without blaming.
Can I blame if my mum knew what she was putting us through? I have forgiven her, a long time ago but I do still blame her because she knew what was happening but didn't do anything to protect us. I'm now a single parent with no support & no family. Anytime I move forward I end up back in the same situation with the same sad mood feeling I'm not good enough. I am constantly ill as are my children. Even though my children haven't been through the trauma I suffered, they do suffer the same way I do 😢
I’ve been a counsellor for 10 years and I have been identifying this in my clients. This is the first time I’ve listened to this guy and yay, he is supporting what I’ve been thinking ! Brilliant
His extensive work is absolutely brilliant! Dr. Maté is a gift to this planet! Please, do not stop here, and keep looking into all his materials (books, podcasts, tedtalks)!
I a survivor of severe abuse, neglect and abandonment from age 5 to 15 when My mother had passed away and I was devastated especially because I wasn’t safe anywhere near the rest of my family so they abandoned me. I have been following Gabor for many years and he has played a huge role in me still being here. It’s a very lonely journey living with so much shame and subconscious trauma. I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until last year and I’m in my mid 40’s. I knew and was tested and diagnosed with CPTSD which isn’t even recognised in the DSM5 but because I could never ever pay attention and other signs of ADHD. There are many cross over symptoms of having either or both diagnosis. Gabor is a trailblazer because he questions things and you can see his brain just ticking over and myself and thousands and thousands of others are still here because of his actions and words to bring exposure to this extremely underrated and invalidated topic. Thank you much for the amazing interview
I am so sorry for what you went through, and thank you for sharing your difficult story. You sound like an incredibly strong woman ❤🙏 I am giving you the biggest hug right now 🫠 x
Do not give up! You are doing amazing! The enemy is trying to destroy You from childhood because You are very important. Remember that You are that 1 sperm who reaches the egg❤
I am sending you some extra love and hugs! This planet is better because you are here! I hope you can find some healing and get the peace you deserve! 💗✌️💗
@@sunnyjohansen1958 Thst is so beautifully kind. Right back at you. It’s wonderful how people connect through such important issues for some people or someone they know. I had way too much shame to ever comment until about a year ago. All I want to do is help and inspire others thst healing is possible and my heart is so set on building my own free creative paint day once a month for anyone who wants to join. It will be a safe environment either on the beach or in a beautiful park. It will be a very safe space for people to get just a glimmer of how painting and meditation have some amazing healing benefits and bringing people together to start a community of people who are keen to connect and I will be providing all of the supplies. I’m so excited but I now know I have to (we all do) to get to a place of authenticity so we are able to function before we can be at our best to help others. We all have our own things to work through and if we have compassion and understanding without judgement then we as humans can help each other to make our world a better place to live for generations to come. I may sound a bit woo woo or spiritual however I have to believe that we all have a mission here and the first step is to listen and learn. I am sending everyone so much positive energy and wish everyone the best in their journeys ❤️🩹
simply put: You are constantly absorbing and observing your environment. If you grow to innerstand this, you will learn when to observe what doesn’t serve you and release it and seek what does. I hope that helps someone🫶🏾✨ Love this dialogue‼️
HOLY CRAP, MEL!! I feel like I’ve just been hit with a stun gun!! There’s too much to unpack here on just one listen!! I will definitely be racking up the views with this episode. There are no words to describe what Dr. Maté has revealed to us. Pure gold!! Deepest gratitude to you both!! ⭐️🌟✨
Gabor Mate is an absolute treasure. Although we should not blame parents in general, some parents DO mean harm and DO cause harm. It's so important to acknowledge that as well. Thank you Gabor and Mel for this insightful dialogue 💛💛💛
True, but I think that in America we live in a culture in which so many people feel guilty about everything that is wrong in their lives that they automatically get defensive when someone is explaining the role they play in their environment. I know Gabor doesn’t mean to blame parents, he means to show us that we’re not powerless. That we can play a role in improving our own and our kids’ condition.
I'm only halfway through, and without hyperbole, I think this might be the most positively impactful thing I've ever listened to. I've been bawling my eyes out right from the beginning, and I'm going to watch it with my 15yo boy on Saturday. Perhaps I will have stopped crying by then? 😁 Your videos have helped me no end. I'm 47 and was only diagnosed myself 6 months ago. Thank you x infinity for your hard work and brilliant content 🩷🩷🩷
Same here Im a teen mother and my now teen son is diagnosed and I can't stop crying and the mom guilt that I brought him into a world where I wasn't prepared but him telling me thank you for keeping me gives me strength and motivation to move forward. We will listen to this again together.
Dr. Gábor Máté is so powerful. His words give me the whys, and that's so liberating. (Being Hungarian, it's a privilege to me that I can listen to him in my native language as well.)
That was Huge! I hope folks stay with the podcast long enough to really get that. For it means it’s okay not to contact a family member and check on them
When I was pregnant with my son, I remember one of the nurses telling me calm mother calm baby. She said the Mom’s that were very anxiety ridden had babies that cried a lot and showed that anxious trait.
@@rebekah1836 I had the same. I lived alone the first 7 months of my pregnancy. Then moved overseas to be with the father of my baby, and it was live everything turned dark and grey. It was horrible, and he treated me horribly. My baby was very calm as long as she was with me, but not with anyone else. I hate myself for bringing a baby to go through all that. She is a very calm, sweet and smart child. I am so sorry about what you and your baby went through 💔
So thrilled to see you interview Gabor, as I completely believe his analysis. I have ADHD with strengths & weaknesses but restoring the health of my nervous system with yoga, continually resetting my vagus nerve, paying attention to my diet and having adapted my life has given me a good health and happiness (without medication) ❤
I absolutely LOVE Gabor Maté and I'm so glad you had him on as a guest. This is a huge valuable addition to your podcast and you are one of the better people to interview him
I love you Mel Robbins. I love your podcasts. So knowledgeable and real. This is exactly what I've been thinking, I take medication for anxiety and depression but I feel Psychologists don't ask about our childhood, or want to get straight to the root of the problem, that's why I listen to your podcasts and just help myself 🙏❤️💖 I watch your podcasts in the morning while eating my breakfast. Even for going to bed. Much loveeee❤🙏
This is so needed. My uni tutor asked me if I have additional learning needs the other week because I always drift off in thought, so now I’m in the process of getting diagnosed for adhd possibly autism. So Disorganised so emotionally unstable. I’m 41 imagine
I'm 41 and have ADHD and anxiety and I work at a fast-paced agency. Medication, resources and management tools (like the Pomodoro Method) really help. 10 minutes of meditation each morning has also changed my life. Lastly, if you're not being incredibly kind, patient and compassionate with yourself, start immediately! Your brain just works differently, and that's okay. Good luck with everything!
I feel you, girl. I'm 43. Same thing. I'm not getting diagnosed, but I feel there is something of the sort. Let's ask ourselves the questions that Dr. Mate suggests and start our healing journeys. Healing is possible. It's available to all of us.
Thank you for always ending on "I love you". And so genuinely. Not something we hear enough. Makes me want to cry every time and I watch you almost daily
This man is life changing. You are life changing Mel. Both of you and all your other speakers help us become better human beings for our families, for others and most importantly for ourselves. Thank you.
I have been diagnosed with Achalasia (paralyzed esophagus) and Grave’s Disease in the past 2 years. I had a chaotic childhood with multiple traumas that continued through my adult life. This all makes sense! Thank you!!!
I recently got diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis as well as mental health conditions. This makes sense as well because I experienced bullying, problems with teachers at school, not saying no to people and handled group projects on my own, traumas, chaotic family and problems, but all I did was endure it and didn’t show to anybody I was having those problems and didn’t complain. When I got to experience the environment that I want, suddenly all of past problems resurfaced on me physically and mentally. Now, I’m facing severe health anxiety overall so I really wanna go to therapy.
My body is on fight-or-flight as well even until now which sucks and made me overthink more but I’m trying to not feed my autoimmune disease with more stress. However, adult life is wired on stress so I mostly rely on medications now and steroids which sucks.
Listening to him talk about his journey in (a trauma response) and out of Zionism (the empowerment of disillusionment) is so moving. It's an incredible story.
Gabor is a hero. I found his first book on the most obscure book store shelf inside a shitty detox center years ago. The Body Keeps The Score. It’s heavy on science and medicine (I’m a nurse so I loved it) but it was the first time I ever truly felt understood. Truly. It’s a pleasure to see him everywhere now.
Yep! My bad. I stand corrected. It IS an amazing book however. 😎 Gabor is such a gem though. For sure. I've yet to read his newest book. I find him amazingly informative and so sensible. He is able to "make it make sense".
He is very far behind the research on ADHD. Like 50 years!!!L Pleas listen to Dr. Barkley! Gabor Mate might be an expert on trauma. And his own experience of it . Fine. BUT: what he says about ADHD is completely WRONG and harm the ADHD community terribly! Just because you have ADHD yourself doesn’t make you an expert on the subject !!He is obviously not up to date about ADHD. NO, adhd is not because of bad parenting, it is a neurological disorder. There are numerous scientific proof s of this!!! Please listen to Dr. Barkley. He knows his stuff!!! ruclips.net/video/bO19LWJ0ZnM/видео.htmlsi=ob5QtvuszNw6WBzV
OMG! What a great interview. As a later diagnosed person with ADHD and aware of Dr. Mate's work, this conversation is very welcome. I'm unable to take medication and seek to better understand how to manage the condition. Leave it to my friend Mel to ask all of my questions!
I have thyroid disease and what Dr Mate describes is me to a T. My sister has Fibromyalgia and she is also a very giving person. I feel sad for all of us who have experienced these illnesses because we didn't set boundaries and didnt know how to but also happy and grateful that the link to changing this is so clear and accessible. I hope many of us can change our lives with this new knowledge. Great video Mel and team❤❤
The more I listen the more I hurt for how children who are denied childhood by social circumstances then by society. The Parents and we as a society as a whole have such a huge role to play in developing Future Brain development and coping mechanisms.
First doctor sent me to a dermatologist and no blood work 5 yrs ago for psoriasis.3yrs later different doctor said my arthritis bms and psoriasis was from getting older, no blood work. Today I went to a new doctor right away I told her all the symptoms and that I was told I had an immune problem. She was astounded not one doctor ordered bloodwork. After 5 yrs of feeling like crap and thinking it’s my age (I’m 40) I’m finally going for bloodwork and a rheumatologist. 🤦♀️
As I'm watching this, tear's are streaming down my face. Everything Dr. Gabor has mentioned hits home for me. He has also made me realize that I have an addiction. The worst part is that I am totally alone now. I have a number of autoimmune diseases, with no support whatsoever, apart from an amazing doctor
My (old)dad has actually said to me (also old) within last five years, “Grief shared is grief doubled.” This is the human journey and condition. I am constantly checking myself to be sure I’m not suffering unnecessarily. It’s in my hands at this point. No matter why it all went down. This is lesson I keep learning. Moments. Again.
So true now it is entirely up to us. This topic is eye opening for me and what u r saying is wow to me because i had that my mom had the most difficult pregnancy and she wished death because of the situation. Fortunately i lived with my aunt from age 9 or so and from 35 i was into personal development which explains why i am in a "Better Position"cos the circumstances i went through and my life are not adding.my life turned better than i would expected bcos i took charge and i am filled with so much gratitude right now. What an eye opening topic this
Same. The more I process my trauma (which lately has been a lot of wailing, screaming, getting angry, and having to rest), the more my "symptoms" go away.
Oh my goodness, what an eye opener this was, i have childhood trauma that has laid dormant most of my life, in other words, never properly addressed! It has decided to rear its ugly head at 53, both my parents had harsh upbringings emotionally, plus being children of WW2 and a from a very strict generation, and my 12 year old daughter has ADHD and challenges with anger, which i now understand so much better. I had a very stressful pregnancy with her mentally abusive dad, and life as a single mum hasn't been easy, so i pretty much sobbed through this entire episode, wishing i could go back and manage things differently, but i am so grateful i will now be able to educate her, and let her free into the world much better equipped, emotionally and practically. No doubt most of us needed this info about 20 years ago!! Thank you Mel and Gabor 🙏
♥dr Maté, he has so much wisdom - when you feel he helps you as well, he gives lots of talks & has amazing books. Complex trauma here (heavily ill & chronic diseases), it took me most of my life to figure out why i'm so ill... yes mom narcist (and dad) have their trauma's too, oh i heard them often... sadly they've put them on their children (no one has children on her side). No one understands me bc how they 'show' themselves 'in public' is totally different... love from Belgium. PS : indeed NEVER a doctor has 'thought or mentioned' i could suffer from trauma, it would have saved me a third or half of my life...sigh...
Thank you both of you! Dr Maté who pointed out why the Let them theory is so powerful! It has given me so much hope about the autoimmune issue I have with long Covid where everyone seems to position themselves as victims. I feel I have given up my authenticity for safety all my life. I couldn't say no and my biggest fear was being rejected. This is powerful stuff and so complementary with the let them tool! Can we have more with you and dr Maté? I'm sure he has so much more to say! Plus his empathy is so soothing for our guilty self! So many lightbulb moment here and I need to replay all this!
Love that you had Dr Gabor Mate on, he's the real deal, been listening to him for years, he speaks what I've intuitively been knowing and trying to share with others as a psychotherapist for a while so its always refreshing and validating to hear his knowledge and expertise, as a doctor and as an adult child, one who experienced an adverse childhood. I appreciate his transparency and AUTHENTICITY! I am in such alignment with his approach. Thank you Gabor and Thank You Mel ❤ for your BEAUTIFUL AUTHENTICITY, too!
Agreed 👍🏻 Wonder what Mates’s personality type is due to genetics & adverse childhood experiences that drives this ‘opinion’ without scientific research.
OMG, Mel! Thank you for having Dr Gabor Mate' on your show - I have read all his books, he knows his 💩 but, thank you! I couldn't click onto this vid fast enough.
totally (sad) truth, ii had to learn it myself, never a health profess like yourself, gave me any idea, advice, insight etc, about 'all this', ihad to figure it all out, thanks to good pple like Gabor i 'learned' what really was going on
It’s so much more complicated than that. Both my children have celiac disease. They are too little to be codependent. Their GI specialist said Celiac has skyrocketed in children in the last two years. Most likely this is because of the highly processed food we are eating. There are many factors to consider
Gabor Mate - WOW!!! Mel thank you for inviting this incredible man to your studio. This interview will change so many people's lives. If people would finally stop and listen to the whisper of our authentic selves and not be afraid of what they can hear we would have been in a very different place in our society. The 6 questions for freedom - incredible! I work for a drug and alcohol service and it's so frustrating that this information is so crucial in healing addiction but ignored or hidden by the false perception of medical professionals. Thank you Gabor for being here on this planet and making such a profound shift in consciousness, let's spread this info to the world. 💓
My heart is breaking for my 2 and 4 year old right now. They have no hope of not having to struggle with adhd if this is true. I was incredibly stressed through pregnancy, was abused, and have adhd myself. I feel so guilty I’m such a huge contributor to my kids future struggle.
Hi Kelsey , the most important thing is that you recognise it and remember, you did not have a choice in either childhood or abusive situations. You had to adapt to the situation and find (adhd symptoms) coping mechanisms for it . Non of it is your fault but now, our role is to take the responsibility for our behaviour and actions and heal, so we can help our children to heal ❤
I feel your pain, I just posted a similar thing re my pregnancy and mental abuse, my daughter who is 12, is ADHD and has anger she struggles to control, I too felt broken listening to this, but the abuse was not our fault, and we can do what we can moving forward to help make our environments better, for all the family, please be kind to yourself and I will try to be with me! X
Yes I agree. Gabor is clearly a lovely thoughtful person but I don’t find his perspective satisfying, there is a bit more to it. I wish Mel would interview Mark Wollyn who wrote It Didn’t Start With You about his research into Inter generational trauma.
That’s amazing. For the past few weeks I’ve been reading Mr Maté’s books. As a daughter of someone who’s been struggling with addictions, I’m exited to watch this interview and again new insights. Thank you!
Im crying because I am a Canadian woman, 38+ years old, born with Arthritis throughout my entire body, came from a broken home and after multiple abusive partners, I am a single Mama of 4 beautiful, SOULFUL children.
I could listen to Dr Gabor Maté and you FOREVER. It's really time for me to "get curious about what is being manifested in this condition". Thank you ❤
I dealt with the same denials in our school system, and after begging them to test my kids for YEARS....I finally had them tested at a private practice and they are both autistic w/varying degrees of ADHD. It is maddening to feels as if your child's school is not at all actually interested in their learning. If they were, they'd care that they weren't connecting with them for the past 8 yrs!!
God I wish I had the perfect words to let you two know how much I appreciate your time to share wisdom that changed my mindset in my current situation which by the way was beginning to lose hope for 😢❤THANK Youuuu!
This is a phenomenally transformational episode. I usually listen to podcasts while cooking or driving, but I had sit and give this my complete attention and I have grown better in just an hour ❤ Thank You for doing this 🙏🏼
I think listening to that once is surely not enough. It was a huge pleasure to hear the interview with dr Gabor, so many things are now making sense to me as well 🙌🏼 Mel, thank you for what you're doing and heads up for delivering such a powerful conversation together with Gabor. I've been diagnosed with ADHD in April this year at age of 29. There is still a lot of struggle on daily basis but with proper knowledge and a gentle approach towards myself (that no one ever taught me) - I see a light in the tunnel ❤ I wish healing to all the listeners and main characters of this podcast 🫶🏼
Just Wow. It brought emotions within me when he said that he works to stay in his relationship and is a better man because of it. Rae is a lucky woman.
Thank you both for this talk. Most helpful & I find hopeful . I look forward to my next chapter. I have read Dr M & he is spot on Married to someone addicted for 25 yrs Hiding his sexuality for 63 yrs & his traumas. Maybe now he can be free.
THANKYOU Mel for having Gabor on.. he is my favorite and his book when the body says No, and teachings gave me my why to breast cancer, so grateful because I’m now thriving and the healthiest I have ever felt in my life and I no longer live in fear because I’ve learnt to say NO. Love you Mel, you got me through some of my darkest days ❤
Amazing episode 🤩 I am so thankful to have taken the time to watch / listen. As a recovering alcoholic, it has really helped me to change beliefs that were programmed in me from early childhood. Dr. Gabor Maté and Mel are both an inspiration. Thank you, Mel for always unpacking concepts in very real, relatable ways. Love you xoxo
Great episode. Thanks Mel. I love Gabor. I’ve listened to many interviews and talks (on RUclips) he has given. He has opened my eyes to so much. At 69 I’m still a work in progress. Better than I was because I understand now, yet I am often wistful that I didn’t know this information, that Gabor so beautifully and gently explains, decades ago.
Active reading techniques are super useful! You can try things like highlighting key points, taking notes in your own words, or asking questions as you read.
Dr. Maté is brilliant. I always knew thay all my issues and conditions came from neglect, being unsafe...this talk truly brought it home for me. Thank you m, thank you, thank you. I love you too, Mel. ❤
Awesome Mel! Thank you so much for bringing Gabor Mate this time. I follow him and each podcast with him fills me with more confidence and gratefulness for being alive and learning how to make this world a better place to live. 🙏
I can still remember the exact feeling on my biggest payday in the market. Imagine taking home $407k just from 12k initial deposit. For the newbies I'll encourage anyone to embrace copytrade as the best approach especially when you're a newbie
Huge! been trying to trade on my own for a while now but it isn't going well. Few weeks ago I lost about $10,000 in a particular trade. Can you at least advise me on what to do?
Circular diagnosis and behaviour - brilliant observation. The diagnosis means nothing, let’s focus on the cause of the behaviour due to the incomplete development of the dopamine connection in the brain. Best description I’ve heard to date.
Best book I've ever read that ACTUALLY describes my problem AND SOLUTIONS as an addict was in the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. I honestly wish our government would listen to him on this matter❤🎉
Wow, what a jewel of a conversation! I’ve only come to minute 10 perhaps so far, and all of it already so revealing and touching! I’ve been dealing with, or have been confronted with this topic for more than 20 years now, and I’ve always taken a different perspective on it. Just these last weeks I had to deal with several cases of young children acting out in different schools, and it always pains me to be faced with how many people involved (parents, also the teachers, and certainly most of the so-called specialists) deal with their own helplessness. Yes, it’s challenging. However, if we would look just a touch deeper and at least open our hearts to acknowledge, that it’s a cry for help, for wanting to be seen, for wanting love, instead of being labelled in this way and being stuffed into a certain school and behaviour agenda. Thank you to Mel and Dr Gabor.🙏 Greetings from Germany
Sometimes i listen to gabor mate and i dont understand a thing.. but this is powerful and you were both connecting so well together, it was great to listen to this and i have learned so much from this,wow ❤ love from Wendy from the Netherlands.😊
Thank you so much for this life changing interview. I am on my healing journey, and this helped me so much! I now understand where all of this comes from. And how to manage all of the things like Addiction, and learning how to get in touch with myself again. I really enjoyed this. You are changing lives with al of the tools you are giving to help us. We are so blessed ❤
Mel and Dr. Gabor Maté thanks soooooooo much. Mel, you are great and you help millions of humans with the contributions of your excellent guests. Your final question about how and what we can do with such information is do essential because it's about being able to alchemize and draw out of information practical tips just as Dr. Maté shared reminded us of in the end: healing is more than possible.
As a parent of a child with ADHD this was a difficult episode to listen to. A lot of guilty feelings. However an important episode for self reflection. I have a bigger role to play in supporting my son’s challenges than I realized, a role where my emotional regulation can help to ease his reaction to his environment. Yup, hard to hear but so valuable.
Sarah, you did something hard today and were accountable. you have nothing to feel guilty for-we’re all doing our best and keen to grow and learn-and the fact that its so apparent that you are, makes you a very loving and supportive parent-no child goes unscathed, you re teaching him, through example, to grow and learn-and we never stop-and that is the best thing ever! God bless ❤
This just puts a negative light on ADHD. I have ADHD and my kids do as well. I want them to understand their brain was made like that for a good reason. People with ADHD hundreds of years ago would may have been the hunters. Our brains gave us the capacity to do amazing things in a tribe. My psychologist said I would have thrived years ago but our world right now is so overwhelming and stressful. On top of that, our food is processed so much and it’s hard to maintain a healthy diet for our brains to function properly. If neurodivergence came mostly from trauma etc. then we would all have it. No parent is perfect!
It makes total sense to me now why stress will make people just shut down and lose their executive function. It’s screws with our ability to use dopamine.
What an absolute belter of a podcast, needed to see this today. Thank you so much. I've had a wow!!! Moment/realisation/awakening fantastic Dr. Gabor Matè xx
Wow!! Totally related here!! I was diagnosed at 46 with a child who goes through IEP and another child who struggles her everyday life today! Now she’s almost 30 she refuses to be treated and reacting impulsively with money, drugs and alcohol.. this is a serious mental health issue.
"Ask why the suffering, not why the addiction" insightful
Mind blowing!
I almost screamed when I saw you have Gabor as your guest! Wow, I love you Mel ❤
EXACTLYYYYY❤❤❤❤❤❤
Me too :)
Me TOO!
Me too love Gabor mate
Me too❤
"We're hurting people for having been hurt. Then they act out this hurt and we blame them for it rather than understand what it's all about." 🎯
So true
What do you do when things just get worst. It's like they don't want to hear it. The addiction is so strong? I know I'm co dependent and I'm just not living because.of all the trauma
@@debbiebolek2117 yes, same in my life due to trauma (of narc mother & emotional not present father), i had to go nc since i was dying, i'm very ill. i don't blame, i forgive, and need to stay away or i won't survive this
blaming i don't do anymore (narc mother, emotional not present father), it's gotten me so ill these ways of living, i did not know any better, thanks to good people like Gabor & many others on the web, i learned how it all 'worked', and why i'm so drained, chronic ill & scared, with no contact & forgiveness i can heal, it will be the rest of my life hard work, i've 'wasted' so much of my life & my health due to it tho. One can say what happend without blaming.
Can I blame if my mum knew what she was putting us through? I have forgiven her, a long time ago but I do still blame her because she knew what was happening but didn't do anything to protect us. I'm now a single parent with no support & no family. Anytime I move forward I end up back in the same situation with the same sad mood feeling I'm not good enough. I am constantly ill as are my children. Even though my children haven't been through the trauma I suffered, they do suffer the same way I do 😢
@kirstierowan2752 It's a vicious cycle.. Just a suggestion, do you believe in Jesus? How about seeking out a good church?
I’ve been a counsellor for 10 years and I have been identifying this in my clients. This is the first time I’ve listened to this guy and yay, he is supporting what I’ve been thinking ! Brilliant
His extensive work is absolutely brilliant! Dr. Maté is a gift to this planet! Please, do not stop here, and keep looking into all his materials (books, podcasts, tedtalks)!
I a survivor of severe abuse, neglect and abandonment from age 5 to 15 when My mother had passed away and I was devastated especially because I wasn’t safe anywhere near the rest of my family so they abandoned me. I have been following Gabor for many years and he has played a huge role in me still being here. It’s a very lonely journey living with so much shame and subconscious trauma. I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until last year and I’m in my mid 40’s. I knew and was tested and diagnosed with CPTSD which isn’t even recognised in the DSM5 but because I could never ever pay attention and other signs of ADHD. There are many cross over symptoms of having either or both diagnosis. Gabor is a trailblazer because he questions things and you can see his brain just ticking over and myself and thousands and thousands of others are still here because of his actions and words to bring exposure to this extremely underrated and invalidated topic.
Thank you much for the amazing interview
I am so sorry for what you went through, and thank you for sharing your difficult story. You sound like an incredibly strong woman ❤🙏 I am giving you the biggest hug right now 🫠 x
Do not give up! You are doing amazing! The enemy is trying to destroy You from childhood because You are very important. Remember that You are that 1 sperm who reaches the egg❤
Thank you. It means a lot to get replies. I wasn’t expecting this and I’m very grateful. Sending you lots of positive vibes
I am sending you some extra love and hugs! This planet is better because you are here! I hope you can find some healing and get the peace you deserve! 💗✌️💗
@@sunnyjohansen1958 Thst is so beautifully kind. Right back at you. It’s wonderful how people connect through such important issues for some people or someone they know. I had way too much shame to ever comment until about a year ago. All I want to do is help and inspire others thst healing is possible and my heart is so set on building my own free creative paint day once a month for anyone who wants to join. It will be a safe environment either on the beach or in a beautiful park. It will be a very safe space for people to get just a glimmer of how painting and meditation have some amazing healing benefits and bringing people together to start a community of people who are keen to connect and I will be providing all of the supplies. I’m so excited but I now know I have to (we all do) to get to a place of authenticity so we are able to function before we can be at our best to help others. We all have our own things to work through and if we have compassion and understanding without judgement then we as humans can help each other to make our world a better place to live for generations to come. I may sound a bit woo woo or spiritual however I have to believe that we all have a mission here and the first step is to listen and learn. I am sending everyone so much positive energy and wish everyone the best in their journeys ❤️🩹
simply put: You are constantly absorbing and observing your environment. If you grow to innerstand this, you will learn when to observe what doesn’t serve you and release it and seek what does. I hope that helps someone🫶🏾✨
Love this dialogue‼️
I seldom listen to a full podcast… this one I couldn’t turn off… so powerful. ..and certainly helpful … many thanks …to both .
This podcast was Amazing!
I kept replaying sections because they're sooooooo powerful!
You two just helped me!
Thank you so much!
HOLY CRAP, MEL!! I feel like I’ve just been hit with a stun gun!! There’s too much to unpack here on just one listen!! I will definitely be racking up the views with this episode. There are no words to describe what Dr. Maté has revealed to us. Pure gold!! Deepest gratitude to you both!! ⭐️🌟✨
Gabor Mate is an absolute treasure. Although we should not blame parents in general, some parents DO mean harm and DO cause harm. It's so important to acknowledge that as well.
Thank you Gabor and Mel for this insightful dialogue 💛💛💛
truth, i dont blame anymore, its a sad truth what u write tho
True, but I think that in America we live in a culture in which so many people feel guilty about everything that is wrong in their lives that they automatically get defensive when someone is explaining the role they play in their environment. I know Gabor doesn’t mean to blame parents, he means to show us that we’re not powerless. That we can play a role in improving our own and our kids’ condition.
I'm only halfway through, and without hyperbole, I think this might be the most positively impactful thing I've ever listened to. I've been bawling my eyes out right from the beginning, and I'm going to watch it with my 15yo boy on Saturday. Perhaps I will have stopped crying by then? 😁 Your videos have helped me no end. I'm 47 and was only diagnosed myself 6 months ago. Thank you x infinity for your hard work and brilliant content 🩷🩷🩷
Same here❤
Same here Im a teen mother and my now teen son is diagnosed and I can't stop crying and the mom guilt that I brought him into a world where I wasn't prepared but him telling me thank you for keeping me gives me strength and motivation to move forward. We will listen to this again together.
@@YesGarza-n5c this is touching!All best to you 😍
I am also the same thing about. She is fab to describe any thoughts and anything.
Dr. Gábor Máté is so powerful. His words give me the whys, and that's so liberating. (Being Hungarian, it's a privilege to me that I can listen to him in my native language as well.)
"Choose AUTHENTICITY over ATTACHMENT." "FREE".
💯💯
That was Huge! I hope folks stay with the podcast long enough to really get that. For it means it’s okay not to contact a family member and check on them
1000000% 👌🏼
Time marker?
When I was pregnant with my son, I remember one of the nurses telling me calm mother calm baby. She said the Mom’s that were very anxiety ridden had babies that cried a lot and showed that anxious trait.
This was my fear during my last pregnancy. Crying every day from the middle of the 2nd trimester because my husband turned into a horrible person!
Isn't it so easy always put the blame on the mothers? Why not going back further?
@@rebekah1836 I had the same. I lived alone the first 7 months of my pregnancy. Then moved overseas to be with the father of my baby, and it was live everything turned dark and grey. It was horrible, and he treated me horribly. My baby was very calm as long as she was with me, but not with anyone else. I hate myself for bringing a baby to go through all that. She is a very calm, sweet and smart child.
I am so sorry about what you and your baby went through 💔
So thrilled to see you interview Gabor, as I completely believe his analysis. I have ADHD with strengths & weaknesses but restoring the health of my nervous system with yoga, continually resetting my vagus nerve, paying attention to my diet and having adapted my life has given me a good health and happiness (without medication) ❤
Fantastic
I absolutely LOVE Gabor Maté and I'm so glad you had him on as a guest. This is a huge valuable addition to your podcast and you are one of the better people to interview him
I love you Mel Robbins. I love your podcasts. So knowledgeable and real. This is exactly what I've been thinking, I take medication for anxiety and depression but I feel Psychologists don't ask about our childhood, or want to get straight to the root of the problem, that's why I listen to your podcasts and just help myself 🙏❤️💖
I watch your podcasts in the morning while eating my breakfast. Even for going to bed. Much loveeee❤🙏
This is so needed. My uni tutor asked me if I have additional learning needs the other week because I always drift off in thought, so now I’m in the process of getting diagnosed for adhd possibly autism. So Disorganised so emotionally unstable. I’m 41 imagine
May I ask what is a uni tutor, please? Thank you.
@ sorry, university lecturer
@@concreterose3225 Thanks!
I'm 41 and have ADHD and anxiety and I work at a fast-paced agency. Medication, resources and management tools (like the Pomodoro Method) really help.
10 minutes of meditation each morning has also changed my life.
Lastly, if you're not being incredibly kind, patient and compassionate with yourself, start immediately! Your brain just works differently, and that's okay.
Good luck with everything!
I feel you, girl. I'm 43. Same thing. I'm not getting diagnosed, but I feel there is something of the sort. Let's ask ourselves the questions that Dr. Mate suggests and start our healing journeys. Healing is possible. It's available to all of us.
Before I leave this earth I want to meet Dr Gabor Mate! Love and admire him so much❤
Mel has been a go to for me for the last few years and it was amazing to listen to the wisdom of Dr. Gabor Mate.. What an incredible podcast.
Thank you for always ending on "I love you". And so genuinely. Not something we hear enough. Makes me want to cry every time and I watch you almost daily
Lupus, here. Went to kidneys, thyroid, muscles, joints, and brain. Seizures for years. Still trying. But I’m still trying.
That's all we can do ❤
My husband suffers from lupus, and since he was a boy, he would suffer from horrible legs' pains over the years. Today isn't different.
May you be filled with love and kindness.
May you be well.
May you be peaceful and at ease.
May you be happy.
💕
@ thank you. And same to you. *high five*.
Check out Dr Brooke Goldner. I wish you all the best.
This man is life changing. You are life changing Mel. Both of you and all your other speakers help us become better human beings for our families, for others and most importantly for ourselves. Thank you.
I have been diagnosed with Achalasia (paralyzed esophagus) and Grave’s Disease in the past 2 years. I had a chaotic childhood with multiple traumas that continued through my adult life. This all makes sense! Thank you!!!
I recently got diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis as well as mental health conditions. This makes sense as well because I experienced bullying, problems with teachers at school, not saying no to people and handled group projects on my own, traumas, chaotic family and problems, but all I did was endure it and didn’t show to anybody I was having those problems and didn’t complain. When I got to experience the environment that I want, suddenly all of past problems resurfaced on me physically and mentally. Now, I’m facing severe health anxiety overall so I really wanna go to therapy.
My body is on fight-or-flight as well even until now which sucks and made me overthink more but I’m trying to not feed my autoimmune disease with more stress. However, adult life is wired on stress so I mostly rely on medications now and steroids which sucks.
My admiration for Dr. Mate` doubled when I learned of his moral stance against Zionism. Thanks for having him on your show!
Listening to him talk about his journey in (a trauma response) and out of Zionism (the empowerment of disillusionment) is so moving. It's an incredible story.
🙌🏼
Gabor is a hero. I found his first book on the most obscure book store shelf inside a shitty detox center years ago. The Body Keeps The Score. It’s heavy on science and medicine (I’m a nurse so I loved it) but it was the first time I ever truly felt understood. Truly. It’s a pleasure to see him everywhere now.
The Body Keeps the Score is written by Bessel Van Der Kolk
I think you are referring to When the Body Says NO. An absolutely fantastic book and I felt the same way as you when I read it
The Body Keeps the Score is written by Bessel van der Kolk
Yep! My bad. I stand corrected. It IS an amazing book however. 😎 Gabor is such a gem though. For sure. I've yet to read his newest book. I find him amazingly informative and so sensible. He is able to "make it make sense".
Thank you for having Dr Mate on your podcast. He is so far ahead of his time.
He is very far behind the research on ADHD. Like 50 years!!!L Pleas listen to Dr. Barkley! Gabor Mate might be an expert on trauma. And his own experience of it . Fine. BUT: what he says about ADHD is completely WRONG and harm the ADHD community terribly! Just because you have ADHD yourself doesn’t make you an expert on the subject !!He is obviously not up to date about ADHD. NO, adhd is not because of bad parenting, it is a neurological disorder. There are numerous scientific proof s of this!!! Please listen to Dr. Barkley. He knows his stuff!!! ruclips.net/video/bO19LWJ0ZnM/видео.htmlsi=ob5QtvuszNw6WBzV
Dr Maté is a gift. Thrilled to see him with Mel!
OMG! What a great interview. As a later diagnosed person with ADHD and aware of Dr. Mate's work, this conversation is very welcome. I'm unable to take medication and seek to better understand how to manage the condition. Leave it to my friend Mel to ask all of my questions!
I have thyroid disease and what Dr Mate describes is me to a T. My sister has Fibromyalgia and she is also a very giving person. I feel sad for all of us who have experienced these illnesses because we didn't set boundaries and didnt know how to but also happy and grateful that the link to changing this is so clear and accessible. I hope many of us can change our lives with this new knowledge. Great video Mel and team❤❤
Thank you, from the bottom of my soul. I adore this man. I adore him.
Thank you. ❤
Huge hug from Serbia. 🙏🏼
The more I listen the more I hurt for how children who are denied childhood by social circumstances then by society. The Parents and we as a society as a whole have such a huge role to play in developing Future Brain development and coping mechanisms.
First doctor sent me to a dermatologist and no blood work 5 yrs ago for psoriasis.3yrs later different doctor said my arthritis bms and psoriasis was from getting older, no blood work. Today I went to a new doctor right away I told her all the symptoms and that I was told I had an immune problem. She was astounded not one doctor ordered bloodwork. After 5 yrs of feeling like crap and thinking it’s my age (I’m 40) I’m finally going for bloodwork and a rheumatologist. 🤦♀️
As I'm watching this, tear's are streaming down my face. Everything Dr. Gabor has mentioned hits home for me. He has also made me realize that I have an addiction. The worst part is that I am totally alone now. I have a number of autoimmune diseases, with no support whatsoever, apart from an amazing doctor
My (old)dad has actually said to me (also old) within last five years, “Grief shared is grief doubled.” This is the human journey and condition. I am constantly checking myself to be sure I’m not suffering unnecessarily. It’s in my hands at this point. No matter why it all went down. This is lesson I keep learning. Moments. Again.
The saying is, grief shared is grief divided.
Complete opposite meaning.
Check
Out!
So true now it is entirely up to us. This topic is eye opening for me and what u r saying is wow to me because i had that my mom had the most difficult pregnancy and she wished death because of the situation. Fortunately i lived with my aunt from age 9 or so and from 35 i was into personal development which explains why i am in a "Better Position"cos the circumstances i went through and my life are not adding.my life turned better than i would expected bcos i took charge and i am filled with so much gratitude right now. What an eye opening topic this
Everything in life that challenges us always drills down to our emotions.
I have Dr Maté´s book and he´s truly a gift to humanity. Thank you Mel for having him🙏
I wish my parents were willing to understand this
This was much needed I knew my environment had a lot to do with myself and my kids ADHD OCD & Autism.
.same
You're very smart, I've thought this for years thought I saw a correlation. But some medical professionals love milking money out of people I think...
Same. The more I process my trauma (which lately has been a lot of wailing, screaming, getting angry, and having to rest), the more my "symptoms" go away.
@@VALiantiosous sounds like you’re regulating, have you heard of TRE have a look at it it’s TRE termmoring good at helping process trauma and stress
He is so smart and compassionate!❤ I love him so much😊❤❤❤
This guy is so on point!
Oh my goodness, what an eye opener this was, i have childhood trauma that has laid dormant most of my life, in other words, never properly addressed! It has decided to rear its ugly head at 53, both my parents had harsh upbringings emotionally, plus being children of WW2 and a from a very strict generation, and my 12 year old daughter has ADHD and challenges with anger, which i now understand so much better. I had a very stressful pregnancy with her mentally abusive dad, and life as a single mum hasn't been easy, so i pretty much sobbed through this entire episode, wishing i could go back and manage things differently, but i am so grateful i will now be able to educate her, and let her free into the world much better equipped, emotionally and practically. No doubt most of us needed this info about 20 years ago!! Thank you Mel and Gabor 🙏
I think every human needs to hear this!! I love you both! Thank you!
choosing attachment over authenticity = WOW.
I’m so grateful for this reframe! 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️
♥dr Maté, he has so much wisdom - when you feel he helps you as well, he gives lots of talks & has amazing books. Complex trauma here (heavily ill & chronic diseases), it took me most of my life to figure out why i'm so ill... yes mom narcist (and dad) have their trauma's too, oh i heard them often... sadly they've put them on their children (no one has children on her side). No one understands me bc how they 'show' themselves 'in public' is totally different... love from Belgium. PS : indeed NEVER a doctor has 'thought or mentioned' i could suffer from trauma, it would have saved me a third or half of my life...sigh...
Thank you both of you! Dr Maté who pointed out why the Let them theory is so powerful! It has given me so much hope about the autoimmune issue I have with long Covid where everyone seems to position themselves as victims. I feel I have given up my authenticity for safety all my life. I couldn't say no and my biggest fear was being rejected. This is powerful stuff and so complementary with the let them tool! Can we have more with you and dr Maté? I'm sure he has so much more to say! Plus his empathy is so soothing for our guilty self! So many lightbulb moment here and I need to replay all this!
This was so I formative and a lot applies to my daughter. I've shared it with her. I hope she listens to it. Thank you
Ive been an addict since i was 15. Ive been clean 15 years but other addictions have taken over me. Stunted my growth .
Love that you had Dr Gabor Mate on, he's the real deal, been listening to him for years, he speaks what I've intuitively been knowing and trying to share with others as a psychotherapist for a while so its always refreshing and validating to hear his knowledge and expertise, as a doctor and as an adult child, one who experienced an adverse childhood. I appreciate his transparency and AUTHENTICITY! I am in such alignment with his approach. Thank you Gabor and Thank You Mel ❤ for your BEAUTIFUL AUTHENTICITY, too!
Please review Dr. Russell Barkley’s critique of Mate’s stance on ADHD.
Agreed 👍🏻 Wonder what Mates’s personality type is due to genetics & adverse childhood experiences that drives this ‘opinion’ without scientific research.
OMG, Mel! Thank you for having Dr Gabor Mate' on your show - I have read all his books, he knows his 💩 but, thank you! I couldn't click onto this vid fast enough.
People with autoimmune disease are codependent in my experience without exception. I say this as a health professional of over 30 years.
Like codependent with autoimune disorder ? Or codepemdent with parents/husband/wife/relatives? Thank You
@@KRISPATT-Aicicodependancy to others, I've seen it as well
@ Thank You!
totally (sad) truth, ii had to learn it myself, never a health profess like yourself, gave me any idea, advice, insight etc, about 'all this', ihad to figure it all out, thanks to good pple like Gabor i 'learned' what really was going on
It’s so much more complicated than that. Both my children have celiac disease. They are too little to be codependent. Their GI specialist said Celiac has skyrocketed in children in the last two years. Most likely this is because of the highly processed food we are eating. There are many factors to consider
Gabor Mate - WOW!!! Mel thank you for inviting this incredible man to your studio. This interview will change so many people's lives. If people would finally stop and listen to the whisper of our authentic selves and not be afraid of what they can hear we would have been in a very different place in our society. The 6 questions for freedom - incredible! I work for a drug and alcohol service and it's so frustrating that this information is so crucial in healing addiction but ignored or hidden by the false perception of medical professionals. Thank you Gabor for being here on this planet and making such a profound shift in consciousness, let's spread this info to the world. 💓
My heart is breaking for my 2 and 4 year old right now. They have no hope of not having to struggle with adhd if this is true. I was incredibly stressed through pregnancy, was abused, and have adhd myself. I feel so guilty I’m such a huge contributor to my kids future struggle.
Hi Kelsey , the most important thing is that you recognise it and remember, you did not have a choice in either childhood or abusive situations. You had to adapt to the situation and find (adhd symptoms) coping mechanisms for it . Non of it is your fault but now, our role is to take the responsibility for our behaviour and actions and heal, so we can help our children to heal ❤
@@Justkelseyagain you can turn it around 🤍 having your awareness is the first step
I feel your pain, I just posted a similar thing re my pregnancy and mental abuse, my daughter who is 12, is ADHD and has anger she struggles to control, I too felt broken listening to this, but the abuse was not our fault, and we can do what we can moving forward to help make our environments better, for all the family, please be kind to yourself and I will try to be with me! X
I have rheumatoid arthritis, Fibromyalgia and Chronic fatigue syndrome..... Still struggle to say no but I'm working on it because this wonderful man.
"The genetics loads the gun, the Environment pulls the trigger." I find this metaphor quite on point!
Yes I agree. Gabor is clearly a lovely thoughtful person but I don’t find his perspective satisfying, there is a bit more to it. I wish Mel would interview Mark Wollyn who wrote It Didn’t Start With You about his research into Inter generational trauma.
Exactly
Exactly 💯
Not just the environment ; sometimes a physical or psychological shock can start many symptoms that were in the genetic material.
Mel, For those of us late diagnosed how do we best help ourselves heal? Live to you and yours! ❤
That’s amazing. For the past few weeks I’ve been reading Mr Maté’s books.
As a daughter of someone who’s been struggling with addictions, I’m exited to watch this interview and again new insights.
Thank you!
Im crying because I am a Canadian woman, 38+ years old, born with Arthritis throughout my entire body, came from a broken home and after multiple abusive partners, I am a single Mama of 4 beautiful, SOULFUL children.
Thank you Mel!!!!!!! We love Dr Gabor Mate
I could listen to Dr Gabor Maté and you FOREVER. It's really time for me to "get curious about what is being manifested in this condition". Thank you ❤
I dealt with the same denials in our school system, and after begging them to test my kids for YEARS....I finally had them tested at a private practice and they are both autistic w/varying degrees of ADHD. It is maddening to feels as if your child's school is not at all actually interested in their learning. If they were, they'd care that they weren't connecting with them for the past 8 yrs!!
God I wish I had the perfect words to let you two know how much I appreciate your time to share wisdom that changed my mindset in my current situation which by the way was beginning to lose hope for 😢❤THANK Youuuu!
This is a phenomenally transformational episode. I usually listen to podcasts while cooking or driving, but I had sit and give this my complete attention and I have grown better in just an hour ❤ Thank You for doing this 🙏🏼
I think listening to that once is surely not enough. It was a huge pleasure to hear the interview with dr Gabor, so many things are now making sense to me as well 🙌🏼 Mel, thank you for what you're doing and heads up for delivering such a powerful conversation together with Gabor. I've been diagnosed with ADHD in April this year at age of 29. There is still a lot of struggle on daily basis but with proper knowledge and a gentle approach towards myself (that no one ever taught me) - I see a light in the tunnel ❤ I wish healing to all the listeners and main characters of this podcast 🫶🏼
Just Wow. It brought emotions within me when he said that he works to stay in his relationship and is a better man because of it. Rae is a lucky woman.
Thank you both for this talk. Most helpful & I find hopeful . I look forward to my next chapter.
I have read Dr M & he is spot on
Married to someone addicted for 25 yrs
Hiding his sexuality for 63 yrs & his traumas.
Maybe now he can be free.
Thanks Mel and Dr. Gabor Maté this podcast
THANKYOU Mel for having Gabor on.. he is my favorite and his book when the body says No, and teachings gave me my why to breast cancer, so grateful because I’m now thriving and the healthiest I have ever felt in my life and I no longer live in fear because I’ve learnt to say NO. Love you Mel, you got me through some of my darkest days ❤
Amazing episode 🤩 I am so thankful to have taken the time to watch / listen. As a recovering alcoholic, it has really helped me to change beliefs that were programmed in me from early childhood. Dr. Gabor Maté and Mel are both an inspiration. Thank you, Mel for always unpacking concepts in very real, relatable ways. Love you xoxo
Great episode. Thanks Mel. I love Gabor. I’ve listened to many interviews and talks (on RUclips) he has given. He has opened my eyes to so much.
At 69 I’m still a work in progress. Better than I was because I understand now, yet I am often wistful that I didn’t know this information, that Gabor so beautifully and gently explains, decades ago.
Active reading techniques are super useful! You can try things like highlighting key points, taking notes in your own words, or asking questions as you read.
Such a brilliant & gentle man! Love you Dr. Gabor Mate, thank you Mel, for sharing this wonderful information!💗💗
This is a Christmas gift before Christmas. Thank you❤
He is incredibly powerful, and I deeply admire every single word he says.
Dr. Maté is brilliant. I always knew thay all my issues and conditions came from neglect, being unsafe...this talk truly brought it home for me. Thank you m, thank you, thank you. I love you too, Mel. ❤
Thank you so much Mel and Dr Gabor.❤it has help me to understand myself.
Awesome Mel! Thank you so much for bringing Gabor Mate this time. I follow him and each podcast with him fills me with more confidence and gratefulness for being alive and learning how to make this world a better place to live. 🙏
Two of my favorite people on one podcast!? Mel and Dr Maté have been so instrumental to my journey of healing and growth!
*I'm glad you made this video* it reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, $34k monthly and a good daughter full of love..
I can still remember the exact feeling on my biggest payday in the market. Imagine taking home $407k just from 12k initial deposit. For the newbies I'll encourage anyone to embrace copytrade as the best approach especially when you're a newbie
Huge! been trying to trade on my own for a while now but it isn't going well. Few weeks ago I lost about $10,000 in a particular trade. Can you at least advise me on what to do?
Circular diagnosis and behaviour - brilliant observation. The diagnosis means nothing, let’s focus on the cause of the behaviour due to the incomplete development of the dopamine connection in the brain. Best description I’ve heard to date.
I love to see my favourite people come together and create some much needed discussions, that society as a whole needs✨
I cried at the end when you said, "I love you. " ❤
Oh my God, this is me. How did it take until the age of 61 for me to realize this. 🤯😮
Don't be hard on yourself ❤
yes, me too, and many of us, thanks to Gabor & other great people we can at least learn... oh i so understand your reaction🙏
Wow… clear powerful … hit on soo many topics .. no blame/shame… Thank you both. ❤🙏
Mel keeps bringing the heat 💯💯💯
Best book I've ever read that ACTUALLY describes my problem AND SOLUTIONS as an addict was in the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. I honestly wish our government would listen to him on this matter❤🎉
Gabor, you are loved. You made a positive difference in my life. Thank you.🙂
I’m honoured to listen to You both! It empowers me so much! Thank you Mel Team :)
Wow, what a jewel of a conversation! I’ve only come to minute 10 perhaps so far, and all of it already so revealing and touching! I’ve been dealing with, or have been confronted with this topic for more than 20 years now, and I’ve always taken a different perspective on it. Just these last weeks I had to deal with several cases of young children acting out in different schools, and it always pains me to be faced with how many people involved (parents, also the teachers, and certainly most of the so-called specialists) deal with their own helplessness. Yes, it’s challenging. However, if we would look just a touch deeper and at least open our hearts to acknowledge, that it’s a cry for help, for wanting to be seen, for wanting love, instead of being labelled in this way and being stuffed into a certain school and behaviour agenda. Thank you to Mel and Dr Gabor.🙏 Greetings from Germany
Sometimes i listen to gabor mate and i dont understand a thing.. but this is powerful and you were both connecting so well together, it was great to listen to this and i have learned so much from this,wow ❤ love from Wendy from the Netherlands.😊
Thank you so much for this life changing interview. I am on my healing journey, and this helped me so much! I now understand where all of this comes from. And how to manage all of the things like Addiction, and learning how to get in touch with myself again. I really enjoyed this. You are changing lives with al of the tools you are giving to help us. We are so blessed ❤
Gabor Mate doesnt give also a solution, just explains bla bla bla this is this is, but where is the solution to HEAL?
@KRISPATT-Aici if you saw the whole video, the last part he explains. And in his book
@ thank you!!
I think this is the most phenomenal episode you have ever done. You are both incredible ❤Thank you for everything
I wish ads would hold off. Listening intently with ADHD! Fabulous video.
Mel and Dr. Gabor Maté thanks soooooooo much. Mel, you are great and you help millions of humans with the contributions of your excellent guests. Your final question about how and what we can do with such information is do essential because it's about being able to alchemize and draw out of information practical tips just as Dr. Maté shared reminded us of in the end: healing is more than possible.
Dr M is a world treasure. Thank you for everything you do. Mel, the end made me teary. Thanks Mel and Dr M
As a parent of a child with ADHD this was a difficult episode to listen to. A lot of guilty feelings. However an important episode for self reflection. I have a bigger role to play in supporting my son’s challenges than I realized, a role where my emotional regulation can help to ease his reaction to his environment. Yup, hard to hear but so valuable.
Sarah, you did something hard today and were accountable. you have nothing to feel guilty for-we’re all doing our best and keen to grow and learn-and the fact that its so apparent that you are, makes you a very loving and supportive parent-no child goes unscathed, you re teaching him, through example, to grow and learn-and we never stop-and that is the best thing ever! God bless ❤
It might also be helpful to watch Dr. Russell Barkley's critique of Dr. Gabor Mate's opinion on ADHD for another perspective.
This just puts a negative light on ADHD. I have ADHD and my kids do as well. I want them to understand their brain was made like that for a good reason. People with ADHD hundreds of years ago would may have been the hunters. Our brains gave us the capacity to do amazing things in a tribe. My psychologist said I would have thrived years ago but our world right now is so overwhelming and stressful. On top of that, our food is processed so much and it’s hard to maintain a healthy diet for our brains to function properly.
If neurodivergence came mostly from trauma etc. then we would all have it. No parent is perfect!
It makes total sense to me now why stress will make people just shut down and lose their executive function. It’s screws with our ability to use dopamine.
What an absolute belter of a podcast, needed to see this today. Thank you so much. I've had a wow!!! Moment/realisation/awakening fantastic Dr. Gabor Matè xx
Thanks for sharing these gifts with the world! Blessings. Namaste. 🙏🙏
Wow!! Totally related here!! I was diagnosed at 46 with a child who goes through IEP and another child who struggles her everyday life today! Now she’s almost 30 she refuses to be treated and reacting impulsively with money, drugs and alcohol.. this is a serious mental health issue.