Addiction is a hard thing to beat when you feel so down in life. It’s not easy. When you’re down which a lot of us are. You go towards pleasure. Even just a little amount is sometimes better than feeling awful all day.
@@ChefBurns1 This is the key pull to using, in its simplest example. I feel shit, I want to feel good now so???? But in this moment we dismiss the tomorrow, the impact on others, our health etc. When you use you really need to dissect what it is your gaining from using. You need to try and crystallize what it is is your getting from escaping. For me, it’s physical anxiety and dread that accompanies the depression I suffer from. I never verbalized this to anyone, it remained in my head, and I had no solution. When eventually I got real about why I actually used and what I got from it, emotionally and physically, I could talk objectively with a professional or sponsor about the realistic steps I could take to address these overwhelming, emotional obstacles. It ultimately came down to to identifying the specifics of why I used substances, their role in numbing pain and trauma, sharing this with someone else who truly understands, accepting the facts and looking to tackle my fears step by step with the right support network. Meetings are a good place to start if your struggling, but they are not a one size fits all solution. You may benefit from one to one sessions with a professional. I appreciate, that if your isolated in addiction, putting yourself into a social situation, such as a group is a big step, so I would recommend trying an online support group first. You may just want to observe initially, but you will undoubtedly hear people share their experiences with the group and if just one resonates with you, that may well set you on your way and give you the confidence to share your own experiences. At some point, you will have to have faith and show your vulnerability by sharing your honest truth. There is a real lightbulb moment for a huge amount of sufferers when they take this step. They have never shared their truth with anyone, let alone a group of strangers. The key is to have faith and not to submit to negative self talk. Your addict will try to talk you out of anything that can potentially take it away from its crutches.
I am an alcoholic and opiate addict. I've been clean for 5 years. I go religiously to AA. At the beginning of this talk, Dr. Mate hits the nail on the head. I had a very good relationship with my father. He remarried when I was 12. He and his wife were a match made in hell. Our relationship was crushed. This loss of my father, as I knew him, was a major reason for my need to drink and drug later in life. I had years of psychotherapy when I was in my 20's and 30"s. That helped immensely to focus on where my bad choices were coming from. EVERYONE CAN HEAL. If we do the work (psychological, medical, AA and NA) we can conquer our addictions.
Honestly, I have never understood (FOR MYSELF) how trauma therapy and AA can go hand in hand. Aren’t those two entirely contradictory? Have you done deep trauma therapy like EMDR and such? One would think you wouldn’t feel like you need AA after that, unless you believe in the disease model or need to go for social support. I’m not hating by the way! I’m on the fringes of AA myself right now (still sober though). 🙂 I have wondered about this from several people, not just you! Congrats on your sobriety btw ❤️
Apart from the trauma, perversely addiction creates a predictable routine that in itself can create comfort for the suffering addict. Even if it’s a chaotic routine, it still provides some form of predictable outcome. It’s also frequently about an individual trying to establish (at the very least) a modicum of control when they actually feel like they don’t have any most of the time. Control is an illusion anyway, but psychologically self control or working towards something long term in positive ways leads to hope. Lack of hope, leads to anxiety which people seek to escape from and so they become stuck in an addictive cycle of repetitive addictive behaviors. Reminds me of OCD and repetitive rituals and distraction.
@@zeitakulobusta Just have the courage to say this to someone at a meeting, face to face and see what you hear back? Try a few meetings and share this honesty with the group.
Trauma is inner pain, a psychic wound, a wound on your soul invisible to medical world, only visible to you. Acknowledge it, be with it, accept it, lean to it with compassion, feel it fully, welcome the pain, breath in and breath out on top of it, make prayers for this wound, bring this wound to your consciousness, it feels like another part of your psyche integrate with this part, talk to it, embrace it...... isn't it all the healing modalities listed below addressing the same simple principle of feel the feelings fully and let it complete in your body and experience:- 1. TRE (Trauma Release Exercise) 2. Somatic Experiencing 3. Somatic Practicing 4. FOCUSING 5. VIPASANA 6. Embodying 7. Eckhart-shining light of consciousness 8. Shadow integration 9. Completion exercise 10. Compassionate Inquiry 11. Tapping 12. WuWei wisdom Acceptance 13. EMDR 14. Yoga 15. Inner Child healing 16. Gratitude Journal 17. CBT 18. Talk Therapy 19. IFST 20. IFST 21. Nervous System regulation
THANK YOU! Focusing simply on the problem and NOT on the solution (getting to the root cause) has always felt sooooo pointless and surface level to me. Thank you, Gabor Mate. ❤️🔥 Mad respect always 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
This was, without a doubt, exactly what I needed today! You cannot be thanked enough, Dough, for bringing these extraordinary people and ideas to us. Thank you!
I did until I didn't. It did until it didn't. Stopping alcohol was the beginning of finding the clarity so things could start getting better. It took years but holy hell was it worth it. I love life every day, rain or shine. Even at 58 I relish and love and am so grateful for every single good day I have and have not a single regret for all the rest. If that was what it took, that was what it took.
1:28:08: “The Observing Self” a book by Arthur Deikman, 1982…worth buying as its very relevant today, far more so than it was 40 years ago & puts flesh on the bones of this idea of observing your thoughts, feelings & emotions…👍🤗👌👏
Guilt. Guilty feelings unconscious. The feeling of needing to flee the present; the past holding you hostage. _bc of GUILT._ Want to solve it? See a good hypnotherapist.
Because sadly, so many people lack that level of intelligence & insight 😬. Maybe some of it is just the genes they were given, we can't expect deep thinking from someone who's not got that level of Cognitive ability 🤷♀️ bless'em.
Fascinating. As someone well along in recovery from child/teenhood emotional trauma followed by long-term alcohol and drug abuse this absolutely makes sense. A side-question though - how does this tie in with non-addicted people who become addicted to opiates via prescribed drugs? Is it that those drugs finally soothed some trauma pain the user hadn't fully realised and they then keep coming back to relieve? Or is there a grey area where less critical trauma combines with the pharmacological 'pull' of the drug once used?
I had already thought, years ago, that it might work the way he describes it here. I almost started crying when he explained it because he affirmed what I'd thought. But this terrifies me. Am I going to live the rest of my life sober (5 years now) but miserable without fulfilled opiate receptors?
Beaten my a bf for 5 yrs at 18 Unloved and rejected by husband (not the abuser) for 7 years… went from being physically violated to not been touched at all. Cancer after 2nd baby at 30yrs old Divorce 2017 Father and soulmate dies after suicide attempt 2018 Covid 2019 Mother dies suddenly - past conversation was an argument. 2020 …. Locked in alone, home schooling 2 kids solo, not dealing with grief or anything else above (though I have actively attempted to through mental health professionals). Barely can finish a drink these days. Buy the drugs but barely have any in a single sitting… but enough to not feel the pain directly but enough knowing to be aware of the darkness sitting, idle but there always. No short term gains from any substance anymore, but feel like letting this empty, self harming, hopeless go would be another loss. Why? Don’t want to live a life wasted any more. Want to wake up, smile and feel peace. I want to live.
Ugh, I'd have to write a book if I talked about my trauma as a kid. I went to therapy after my dad died. After 3 years I felt good. I had forgiven an moved on. Then I got sick. I'm confused again. There's way more of a story, but I'd have to write a book. Pretty sure I would never get support.
I wonder how prevalent that a one year old child would be negatively affected by a few months separation from mother. Wondering does this mean that the child was subject to neglect by the temporary carer ? ? ?
The child feels abandoned by the mother. The caregivers could do nothing wrong and the child could still interpret the mother’s absence as abandonment. The bond starts in the womb. My father was adopted at birth and struggled with feelings of rejection his whole life. He didn’t find out he was adopted until after he turned 18. Turns out that his mother was in an orphanage when she was pregnant with him and couldn’t keep her baby. It had nothing to do with his mother rejecting him only that she didn’t have any other options. My dad’s adoptive parents were some of the best people I ever met in my life. They raised him as their own. Back then they thought telling him would make him feel more traumatized so they tried to protect him from the feelings of rejection. I hope that helps clarify. My dad eventually found his birth mother but even though he understood that part of him never completely found peace with it.
Protectors naturally become less extreme and become their more natural 'selves' when they are unburdened. They don't need to be told what to do, the opposite is true, protectors will argue with other parts if you come at them with the same sort of energy.. See 'no bad parts' by Dick Schwartz for more info.
The victim mentality and admitting your are powerless to your addiction in the 12 steps is the reason most fail at rehab. Drugs and alcohol are fun at for a while until there not . How do you get through rehab if you didn't have any trauma in your life to use as a reason for poor choice?
What about addiction to prescription pain killers - you are taking them for pain relief maybe from surgery for example… there might be no trauma prior to that… it might be that withdrawal is too painful due to chamical changes in the body.
True but why do some people that are bored read a book or take a walk rather than put poison in their bodies? not judging, boredom is difficult for me as well.
@@bldsprt518 Yeah, that’s why I said, “for SOME of us”…. different strokes for different folks. I’m no longer an addict. I’m now very busy working on my purpose.❤️ 🙏
I don’t agree. Trauma’s emotional consequence may have self destructive or addictive responses, however, the environmental, genetic, and personal development all contribute to an addictive tendency. Furthermore, the addictive substance or behavior creates a mental disability. The individual may not find any pleasure or reason for the behavior due to this mental disability and disconnection. Usually, it is the preservation of one’s own self which needs to be re-established. It should be understood that some chemicals turn off the self preservation mental state.Self preservation has been lost in many cases due to lack of an empathetic environment and society. True psychological and physical mental health methods should be developed to properly address the issue.
I DM you because I can’t do this on my own I hoped you would help save a life But you never once even messaged me. There are cases in one’s careers that make a difference mine is that one. Does it hurt when you lose people that need you most
This is teaching video. I understand you’re struggling so you need to find a trauma therapist where you live. Ask your doctor for immediate appointment and ask your doctor for a Referrel for therapist specializes in what your suffering from -loss & trauma probably. and ask for a psychiatrist especially if it’s affecting how you feel in the days & affecting your sleep (temporary)
Sorry you are feeling so rough. You are already consuming this great content, so I know you will make it through this tough time. Like the other person said, find a therapist locally to you. Seems you are using manipulation, saying you might die because this one guy doesn't message you back. You know that is not real. Don't expect this guy to respond to private messages. He has so much going on and so much input, it is impossible to add more conversations and input to his week. Find a therapist near you and love yourself every day. Please look up 2 things... 1. vagus nerve reset 2. Reddit no zero days post Wishing you calm and relief. You can do it.
@@faithklingsporn8679 Oh no, I was just being polite, I just like timestamps. Me, I have all the time in the world. Plus, as a autistic person, I do not really buy this "universal root cause for everything mental"
Oh no, I was just being polite, I have all the time in the world, I just like timestamps, it's useful. As an autistic person, I don't quite buy the trauma thing as universal root for everything.
What about people who haven't got enough money to pay a therapist ? Are there therapists out there who help a few patients a month for less or no money because they have a good heart and want to help everybody, not only rich people? And I consider people rich who can afford a therapist.
@@-Finlander- thats wonderful! Health care is a human right so it should be free everywhere. - Therapists who can affotd it, should have the wish to help everybody and as an act of justice or act of human kindness should help also some people for less money or for free especially when they became rich.
That’s why it’s not really about what happens to us but rather about how we interpret what happens to us. Realize that when we are children we interpret things as children do and not as adults do. We have very black and white thinking and little understanding of the actual cause and effect. I remember my first day of school and I thought that I was there because my mother didn’t want me around her anymore. I hid inside a locker all day and didn’t come out until school was over. I was so scared and disoriented that I couldn’t find my way home even though I was only a couple blocks away.
And people are very good at keeping personal experience private. People instinctively hide things to appear less vulnerable. If you gave a person everything they ever wanted….they may experience trauma when they find they still aren’t happy.
INTERESTING...I HAVE HAD SOME BAD EXPERIENCES THAT SOME MAY TERM AS 'TRAUMA' INTERESTING DELUSIONAL OPINIONS......NONETHELESS..FOOLISH PEOPLE SAY WHAT THEY DONT KNOW.... HOWEVER POINT IS IT NEVER HAPPENED TO ME. INTERESTING TALK THOUGH.....
Because we know what is it and how difficult and complex is to fight It and if You f.i. have 45 -50 y o....you find less and less inspiration for the fight itself ...at least in my case...obviously I was on ADs..
@@LP50-e8s completely understand to certain degree as I don’t personally know you. I can relate though. Sometimes I wonder though weather that’s our personality (adhd, depression, autism) the more you label it as (suffering from mental health) then educate people to diagnose it as a problem and then start medicating those that are “ill” surly that makes the situation allot worse. Only we can heal our minds by finding comfort in the pain of life and conquering our own minds rather than running away from it and labelling it as an illness. I stopped all meds and I feel free I embrace my personality and walk with my demons not fight them I meditate and exercise. I hope you find piece in life too my brother. Just something to think about ❤️
@@ChrisLeather-y2s my issue was childhood...I was like Sheldon ( I do not like the guy ). The point was that the teacher wanted me in third not in the first grade...nobody from my family did nothing...my life happened by f accident...and in one period in later life you do realise what is all about, I did not get parent's love..its f hard...but one thing and step ( easier ) , to realise the problem. But to get rid of the actuall problem ( the very same root of ptsd and depression ), is completely of course old-new problem, and there is still the question are we able to do it at all. Is it gonna drag...or stay in the shadow...or any other option....The main point is that just to know what bothers you, problem will not go away, and even with hard work the very same question stays..Are we able to do it through various psychological or maybe some traditional processes...or combos.....It is a fight
@@ChrisLeather-y2swell, Only, The One and only thing to say to you personally is bravo! Fighting, accepting, is the right way...there is a saying in Bhagavad Gita vedic philosophy : The very same God will never put you in a situation we can not ultimatively handle, and most important to learn and grow and get out stronger....which is of course natural consequence ! Take good care...and thank you for the comment! Greets from sunny Croatia....Viva la Knowledge 😉❤
@@LP50-e8s strange! I was in foster homes too. I seen and suffered Allot of trauma from this. I spent 11 years in prison and whilst in there I lost my whole family Litrally, gone, dead. Broke me to pieces still does. But like I said I cry when I need to i smile she I’m happy and I look at life in a beautiful but realistic way and that just that. You need to suffer to feel the power of hope. You need to cry to feel the power of happiness And you need the pain in order to heal. We don’t cry because we are weak we cry because we are human ❤️
The first core lesson across Canada for all Grade 9-12 students Forbidden, Curriculum FEED delivery platform of scolding, self-righteous behavior, authoritarian stances NOT PERMITTED by Public School Administrations and Members of Staff. If one does not know how to do Seek Mentor(s)🐱
I dunno. I like getting fucked up and i like the energy gain i get from doing meth. I was born three months premature and have ADHD like a motherfucker. I think my trauma is living with it and the frustration i get from living with myself. Ok what he just said hit home. I am the scapegoat of my family and after my dad died when i was 15, i watched my mom and sister become really close while i went the off and partied with friends. I have been a drug user for 35 years. I did stop drinking.😊
In our mirrored world one's intelligence is advanced, not diminished with Gabor Mate's compass. Though still a negative term, 'previous substance addiction' ...shopping is under the radar to the point of being worshipped though not our indigenous peoples regalia as if the same plane of existence. So deep an addiction one goes through withdrawal of the same magnitude as a street drug. Think about it all marketers, stock brokers CEOs School Administrators and the like. Be open to lowering your defense mechanism as I will listening to this RUclips
Find God. You will then cheris life. After that you will respect others(your family or persons that sacrifice or care about you). Then you will love yourself. Man up. Don't seek excuses or explanations . Just do ot, but not with nike. Eat healthy, do exercises. Healthy mind, in healthy body. One more time, Healthy mind, in Healthy body.
My addictions were smoking, quit years ago, eating to cope with stress and shopping out of my need to be loved, to feel loved. None of it helped, none of it ever does. I gave people the love I needed and even that didn't work. Very sad.
Maybe you needed to change something else. Also Trump isn't your problem. You are your problem. The people who are in your personal life could be aswell. You must look into yourself
@@kathybjorn1001just being loving isn't the solution. Make real steps to actually experience self love and maybe you'll see things and people differently
I agree that Trump is so abusive and he gaslights and lies so much that it's triggering for victims of abuse. People who like him are prone to be abusive, imo.
Addiction is a hard thing to beat when you feel so down in life. It’s not easy. When you’re down which a lot of us are. You go towards pleasure. Even just a little amount is sometimes better than feeling awful all day.
100% true!!!
MY MAN
@@ChefBurns1 This is the key pull to using, in its simplest example. I feel shit, I want to feel good now so???? But in this moment we dismiss the tomorrow, the impact on others, our health etc. When you use you really need to dissect what it is your gaining from using. You need to try and crystallize what it is is your getting from escaping. For me, it’s physical anxiety and dread that accompanies the depression I suffer from. I never verbalized this to anyone, it remained in my head, and I had no solution. When eventually I got real about why I actually used and what I got from it, emotionally and physically, I could talk objectively with a professional or sponsor about the realistic steps I could take to address these overwhelming, emotional obstacles. It ultimately came down to to identifying the specifics of why I used substances, their role in numbing pain and trauma, sharing this with someone else who truly understands, accepting the facts and looking to tackle my fears step by step with the right support network. Meetings are a good place to start if your struggling, but they are not a one size fits all solution. You may benefit from one to one sessions with a professional. I appreciate, that if your isolated in addiction, putting yourself into a social situation, such as a group is a big step, so I would recommend trying an online support group first. You may just want to observe initially, but you will undoubtedly hear people share their experiences with the group and if just one resonates with you, that may well set you on your way and give you the confidence to share your own experiences. At some point, you will have to have faith and show your vulnerability by sharing your honest truth. There is a real lightbulb moment for a huge amount of sufferers when they take this step. They have never shared their truth with anyone, let alone a group of strangers. The key is to have faith and not to submit to negative self talk. Your addict will try to talk you out of anything that can potentially take it away from its crutches.
I am an alcoholic and opiate addict. I've been clean for 5 years. I go religiously to AA. At the beginning of this talk, Dr. Mate hits the nail on the head. I had a very good relationship with my father. He remarried when I was 12. He and his wife were a match made in hell. Our relationship was crushed. This loss of my father, as I knew him, was a major reason for my need to drink and drug later in life. I had years of psychotherapy when I was in my 20's and 30"s. That helped immensely to focus on where my bad choices were coming from. EVERYONE CAN HEAL. If we do the work (psychological, medical, AA and NA) we can conquer our addictions.
Honestly, I have never understood (FOR MYSELF) how trauma therapy and AA can go hand in hand. Aren’t those two entirely contradictory? Have you done deep trauma therapy like EMDR and such? One would think you wouldn’t feel like you need AA after that, unless you believe in the disease model or need to go for social support. I’m not hating by the way! I’m on the fringes of AA myself right now (still sober though). 🙂 I have wondered about this from several people, not just you! Congrats on your sobriety btw ❤️
Addiction is being a solution to get free from the anxiety caused by the unconscious pain.
Apart from the trauma, perversely addiction creates a predictable routine that in itself can create comfort for the suffering addict. Even if it’s a chaotic routine, it still provides some form of predictable outcome. It’s also frequently about an individual trying to establish (at the very least) a modicum of control when they actually feel like they don’t have any most of the time. Control is an illusion anyway, but psychologically self control or working towards something long term in positive ways leads to hope. Lack of hope, leads to anxiety which people seek to escape from and so they become stuck in an addictive cycle of repetitive addictive behaviors. Reminds me of OCD and repetitive rituals and distraction.
I feel some truth in this.....'just give me a direction, some kind of path. Stop the second-guessing and insecurity....even if it's a 'wrong' answer'
Very wise comment.
@@zeitakulobusta Just have the courage to say this to someone at a meeting, face to face and see what you hear back? Try a few meetings and share this honesty with the group.
How do we move this understanding of addiction into the mainstream?!
Thank you Dr. mate for your words. Running from loneliness, lack of being understood!
Trauma is inner pain, a psychic wound, a wound on your soul invisible to medical world, only visible to you. Acknowledge it, be with it, accept it, lean to it with compassion, feel it fully, welcome the pain, breath in and breath out on top of it, make prayers for this wound, bring this wound to your consciousness, it feels like another part of your psyche integrate with this part, talk to it, embrace it...... isn't it all the healing modalities listed below addressing the same simple principle of feel the feelings fully and let it complete in your body and experience:- 1. TRE (Trauma Release Exercise) 2. Somatic Experiencing 3. Somatic Practicing 4. FOCUSING 5. VIPASANA 6. Embodying 7. Eckhart-shining light of consciousness 8. Shadow integration 9. Completion exercise 10. Compassionate Inquiry 11. Tapping 12. WuWei wisdom Acceptance 13. EMDR 14. Yoga 15. Inner Child healing 16. Gratitude Journal 17. CBT 18. Talk Therapy 19. IFST 20. IFST 21. Nervous System regulation
THANK YOU! Focusing simply on the problem and NOT on the solution (getting to the root cause) has always felt sooooo pointless and surface level to me. Thank you, Gabor Mate. ❤️🔥 Mad respect always 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
This was, without a doubt, exactly what I needed today! You cannot be thanked enough, Dough, for bringing these extraordinary people and ideas to us. Thank you!
Best explanation I have ever heard of addiction and trauma!! Thank you!
Thank you so much for this. It's exactly what I needed to hear on this Saturday.
Alcohol (which I love) works until it doesn’t.
It gives relief from the emptiness and the pain in my chest. :)
I also get a heavy weight and pain in my chest 💔 I’m always looking for things to ease that pain
Relief
I did until I didn't.
It did until it didn't.
Stopping alcohol was the beginning of finding the clarity so things could start getting better. It took years but holy hell was it worth it. I love life every day, rain or shine. Even at 58 I relish and love and am so grateful for every single good day I have and have not a single regret for all the rest. If that was what it took, that was what it took.
"The Cure of Alcoholism" - by Roy Eskappa
Is it depression @@yoursofunnyman
1:28:08: “The Observing Self” a book by Arthur Deikman, 1982…worth buying as its very relevant today, far more so than it was 40 years ago & puts flesh on the bones of this idea of observing your thoughts, feelings & emotions…👍🤗👌👏
Thank you I'm adding it to my library
Thanks Doug for the fantastic speakers but mostly for the great questions!
Why is it so many of us still continue to struggle to understand the concepts covered the first five minutes of this podcast?
I know as an addict
Addicts are dumb
We also- if we get it-..
Amazing !!
@@ShSy-ni6zq I guess I meant all the doctors that seem to be so puzzled as to why someone's addiction happens.
Because we are living inside our limbic brain. It's also about the reward factor.
Guilt. Guilty feelings unconscious. The feeling of needing to flee the present; the past holding you hostage. _bc of GUILT._
Want to solve it? See a good hypnotherapist.
Because sadly, so many people lack that level of intelligence & insight 😬. Maybe some of it is just the genes they were given, we can't expect deep thinking from someone who's not got that level of Cognitive ability 🤷♀️ bless'em.
أعرف أنه سيكون فيديو رائع مادام مع دكتور جابور ماتي
Thanks ❤
Authenticity is not a luxury - thank you, Doc❤
Fascinating. As someone well along in recovery from child/teenhood emotional trauma followed by long-term alcohol and drug abuse this absolutely makes sense. A side-question though - how does this tie in with non-addicted people who become addicted to opiates via prescribed drugs? Is it that those drugs finally soothed some trauma pain the user hadn't fully realised and they then keep coming back to relieve? Or is there a grey area where less critical trauma combines with the pharmacological 'pull' of the drug once used?
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this guy and I completely agree with him about addiction
The lovely blonde lady understands spirituality 🙏♥️ she is very connected, she understands
I had already thought, years ago, that it might work the way he describes it here. I almost started crying when he explained it because he affirmed what I'd thought. But this terrifies me. Am I going to live the rest of my life sober (5 years now) but miserable without fulfilled opiate receptors?
Beaten my a bf for 5 yrs at 18
Unloved and rejected by husband (not the abuser) for 7 years… went from being physically violated to not been touched at all.
Cancer after 2nd baby at 30yrs old
Divorce 2017
Father and soulmate dies after suicide attempt 2018
Covid 2019
Mother dies suddenly - past conversation was an argument. 2020
…. Locked in alone, home schooling 2 kids solo, not dealing with grief or anything else above (though I have actively attempted to through mental health professionals).
Barely can finish a drink these days.
Buy the drugs but barely have any in a single sitting… but enough to not feel the pain directly but enough knowing to be aware of the darkness sitting, idle but there always.
No short term gains from any substance anymore, but feel like letting this empty, self harming, hopeless go would be another loss.
Why?
Don’t want to live a life wasted any more. Want to wake up, smile and feel peace.
I want to live.
Ugh, I'd have to write a book if I talked about my trauma as a kid.
I went to therapy after my dad died. After 3 years I felt good. I had forgiven an moved on.
Then I got sick. I'm confused again.
There's way more of a story, but I'd have to write a book.
Pretty sure I would never get support.
Good stuff! 🙌🏻
I wonder how prevalent that a one year old child would be negatively affected by a few months separation from mother. Wondering does this mean that the child was subject to neglect by the temporary carer ? ? ?
The child feels abandoned by the mother. The caregivers could do nothing wrong and the child could still interpret the mother’s absence as abandonment. The bond starts in the womb.
My father was adopted at birth and struggled with feelings of rejection his whole life. He didn’t find out he was adopted until after he turned 18. Turns out that his mother was in an orphanage when she was pregnant with him and couldn’t keep her baby. It had nothing to do with his mother rejecting him only that she didn’t have any other options.
My dad’s adoptive parents were some of the best people I ever met in my life. They raised him as their own. Back then they thought telling him would make him feel more traumatized so they tried to protect him from the feelings of rejection.
I hope that helps clarify. My dad eventually found his birth mother but even though he understood that part of him never completely found peace with it.
Can we get some timestamps please
1:23
5:53
10:12
28:54
33:24
1:33:56
1:55:12
You're welcome
Bro looks like a mf bloodhound he badass af ngl acdc ilysm
I know nothing about Mr. Probst. I did not know he was on oxy. Wow!
Protectors naturally become less extreme and become their more natural 'selves' when they are unburdened.
They don't need to be told what to do, the opposite is true, protectors will argue with other parts if you come at them with the same sort of energy..
See 'no bad parts' by Dick Schwartz for more info.
Great info... Kinda click bait with pic of Dr. Gabor Maté but he only talks for 15 mins ...
Great podcast. Unfortunate that the channel monetised this with gaming, plastic surgery and other addictive adverts every 5 minutes.
😂
youtube premium takes the ads away
@@tQnOWfor a ridiculous fee
The headline is misleading I expected only Dr. Maté
The victim mentality and admitting your are powerless to your addiction in the 12 steps is the reason most fail at rehab.
Drugs and alcohol are fun at for a while until there not . How do you get through rehab if you didn't have any trauma in your life to use as a reason for poor choice?
What about addiction to prescription pain killers - you are taking them for pain relief maybe from surgery for example… there might be no trauma prior to that… it might be that withdrawal is too painful due to chamical changes in the body.
You don’t have to experience trauma to be addicted to something. For some of us, addiction is the result of boredom.
True but why do some people that are bored read a book or take a walk rather than put poison in their bodies? not judging, boredom is difficult for me as well.
@@bldsprt518 Yeah, that’s why I said, “for SOME of us”…. different strokes for different folks. I’m no longer an addict. I’m now very busy working on my purpose.❤️ 🙏
Internet
Yeah
BUT I CAN STOP ANY TIME I WANT🤓
😂
Is this an old podcast?
THIS!!! 🙏🏼🕊️
2 hours and 10 minutes. Couldn't this be cut down considerably?
Sure, in youtubes settings you can speed it up to 2X if you want..
I don’t agree. Trauma’s emotional consequence may have self destructive or addictive responses, however, the environmental, genetic, and personal development all contribute to an addictive tendency. Furthermore, the addictive substance or behavior creates a mental disability. The individual may not find any pleasure or reason for the behavior due to this mental disability and disconnection. Usually, it is the preservation of one’s own self which needs to be re-established. It should be understood that some chemicals turn off the self preservation mental state.Self preservation has been lost in many cases due to lack of an empathetic environment and society. True psychological and physical mental health methods should be developed to properly address the issue.
I DM you because I can’t do this on my own I hoped you would help save a life
But you never once even messaged me. There are cases in one’s careers that make a difference mine is that one. Does it hurt when you lose people that need you most
Yes it hurts- start at about 3:00 min.
This is teaching video. I understand you’re struggling so you need to find a trauma therapist where you live. Ask your doctor for immediate appointment and ask your doctor for a Referrel for therapist specializes in what your suffering from -loss & trauma probably. and ask for a psychiatrist especially if it’s affecting how you feel in the days & affecting your sleep (temporary)
Sorry you are feeling so rough. You are already consuming this great content, so I know you will make it through this tough time.
Like the other person said, find a therapist locally to you.
Seems you are using manipulation, saying you might die because this one guy doesn't message you back.
You know that is not real.
Don't expect this guy to respond to private messages. He has so much going on and so much input, it is impossible to add more conversations and input to his week.
Find a therapist near you and love yourself every day.
Please look up 2 things... 1. vagus nerve reset 2. Reddit no zero days post
Wishing you calm and relief. You can do it.
Good important conversation. Not everyone can spare 2 hours though, timestamp would have been nice.
Right but if your intentional about learning what the root cause is, 20 minutes a day is a short time😊
@@faithklingsporn8679 Oh no, I was just being polite, I just like timestamps. Me, I have all the time in the world. Plus, as a autistic person, I do not really buy this "universal root cause for everything mental"
I totally agree.
You can listen to it in parts or while you're doing your dishes..
Oh no, I was just being polite, I have all the time in the world, I just like timestamps, it's useful.
As an autistic person, I don't quite buy the trauma thing as universal root for everything.
29:50
What about people who haven't got enough money to pay a therapist ? Are there therapists out there who help a few patients a month for less or no money because they have a good heart and want to help everybody, not only rich people? And I consider people rich who can afford a therapist.
In Finland therapy is Free. The
happiest people in the world. 🇫🇮
@@-Finlander- thats wonderful! Health care is a human right so it should be free everywhere. -
Therapists who can affotd it, should have the wish to help everybody and as an act of justice or act of human kindness should help also some people for less money or for free especially when they became rich.
Solo therapy, helps
If you are motivated to evolve, you will find rhe money.
@@tiagociriaco7380 not all therapists are worth the money
I know addicts that had loving parents and a good health life. Hmmm
That’s why it’s not really about what happens to us but rather about how we interpret what happens to us. Realize that when we are children we interpret things as children do and not as adults do. We have very black and white thinking and little understanding of the actual cause and effect.
I remember my first day of school and I thought that I was there because my mother didn’t want me around her anymore. I hid inside a locker all day and didn’t come out until school was over. I was so scared and disoriented that I couldn’t find my way home even though I was only a couple blocks away.
And people are very good at keeping personal experience private. People instinctively hide things to appear less vulnerable. If you gave a person everything they ever wanted….they may experience trauma when they find they still aren’t happy.
Often times they don’t realize the trauma they really have.
INTERESTING...I HAVE HAD SOME BAD EXPERIENCES THAT SOME MAY TERM AS 'TRAUMA' INTERESTING DELUSIONAL OPINIONS......NONETHELESS..FOOLISH PEOPLE SAY WHAT THEY DONT KNOW.... HOWEVER POINT IS IT NEVER HAPPENED TO ME. INTERESTING TALK THOUGH.....
It doesn't happen to everybody, but it happened to everybody who is an addict.
Why is suicide significantly higher since the start of psychology and the diagnosis of mental health?
Because we know what is it and how difficult and complex is to fight It and if You f.i. have 45 -50 y o....you find less and less inspiration for the fight itself ...at least in my case...obviously I was on ADs..
@@LP50-e8s completely understand to certain degree as I don’t personally know you. I can relate though. Sometimes I wonder though weather that’s our personality (adhd, depression, autism) the more you label it as (suffering from mental health) then educate people to diagnose it as a problem and then start medicating those that are “ill” surly that makes the situation allot worse. Only we can heal our minds by finding comfort in the pain of life and conquering our own minds rather than running away from it and labelling it as an illness. I stopped all meds and I feel free I embrace my personality and walk with my demons not fight them I meditate and exercise. I hope you find piece in life too my brother.
Just something to think about ❤️
@@ChrisLeather-y2s my issue was childhood...I was like Sheldon ( I do not like the guy ). The point was that the teacher wanted me in third not in the first grade...nobody from my family did nothing...my life happened by f accident...and in one period in later life you do realise what is all about, I did not get parent's love..its f hard...but one thing and step ( easier ) , to realise the problem. But to get rid of the actuall problem ( the very same root of ptsd and depression ), is completely of course old-new problem, and there is still the question are we able to do it at all. Is it gonna drag...or stay in the shadow...or any other option....The main point is that just to know what bothers you, problem will not go away, and even with hard work the very same question stays..Are we able to do it through various psychological or maybe some traditional processes...or combos.....It is a fight
@@ChrisLeather-y2swell, Only, The One and only thing to say to you personally is bravo! Fighting, accepting, is the right way...there is a saying in Bhagavad Gita vedic philosophy : The very same God will never put you in a situation we can not ultimatively handle, and most important to learn and grow and get out stronger....which is of course natural consequence ! Take good care...and thank you for the comment! Greets from sunny Croatia....Viva la Knowledge 😉❤
@@LP50-e8s strange! I was in foster homes too. I seen and suffered Allot of trauma from this. I spent 11 years in prison and whilst in there I lost my whole family Litrally, gone, dead. Broke me to pieces still does. But like I said I cry when I need to i smile she I’m happy and I look at life in a beautiful but realistic way and that just that. You need to suffer to feel the power of hope. You need to cry to feel the power of happiness And you need the pain in order to heal.
We don’t cry because we are weak we cry because we are human ❤️
What happen to his eye
He has had a stroke in the recent past, and his health is going down hill
The first core lesson across Canada for all Grade 9-12 students Forbidden, Curriculum FEED delivery platform of scolding, self-righteous behavior, authoritarian stances NOT PERMITTED by Public School Administrations and Members of Staff. If one does not know how to do Seek Mentor(s)🐱
1:33:20
I dunno. I like getting fucked up and i like the energy gain i get from doing meth. I was born three months premature and have ADHD like a motherfucker. I think my trauma is living with it and the frustration i get from living with myself. Ok what he just said hit home. I am the scapegoat of my family and after my dad died when i was 15, i watched my mom and sister become really close while i went the off and partied with friends. I have been a drug user for 35 years. I did stop drinking.😊
Why the black eye?
hes a ufc fighter
He is a jiu jitsu trainer
He didnt listen the first time
His gently parented kid did it to him
Because he has a black eye
7:54
Is everyone just going to ignore his black eye?
Jogging addict gym? Sauna addict aargh
So you frame the argument to prove your point? Not exactly a good argument
Gabor maté to 30.28 - after that it's all a waste of time and people flogging shit.
Loliness!
Escaping loliness lasting for decades……….
Who cares?
Jesus christ cares.
In our mirrored world one's intelligence is advanced, not diminished with Gabor Mate's compass. Though still a negative term, 'previous substance addiction' ...shopping is under the radar to the point of being worshipped though not our indigenous peoples regalia as if the same plane of existence. So deep an addiction one goes through withdrawal of the same magnitude as a street drug. Think about it all marketers, stock brokers CEOs School Administrators and the like. Be open to lowering your defense mechanism as I will listening to this RUclips
Find God. You will then cheris life. After that you will respect others(your family or persons that sacrifice or care about you). Then you will love yourself. Man up. Don't seek excuses or explanations . Just do ot, but not with nike. Eat healthy, do exercises. Healthy mind, in healthy body. One more time, Healthy mind, in Healthy body.
A lifetime of too many many CPTSD triggers. For me I think. A life time of it. Was just trying to find my peace and Trump comes along.
My addictions were smoking, quit years ago, eating to cope with stress and shopping out of my need to be loved, to feel loved. None of it helped, none of it ever does. I gave people the love I needed and even that didn't work. Very sad.
Maybe you needed to change something else. Also Trump isn't your problem. You are your problem. The people who are in your personal life could be aswell. You must look into yourself
@@kathybjorn1001just being loving isn't the solution. Make real steps to actually experience self love and maybe you'll see things and people differently
Working on it.
I agree that Trump is so abusive and he gaslights and lies so much that it's triggering for victims of abuse. People who like him are prone to be abusive, imo.