This is my 3rd day sober I’m so proud of myself I woke up feeling so good and instead of buying a can of Smirnoff smash I went and got me a smoothie! I should’ve been did this 🎉
Keep putting one foot in front of the other. It gets so much easier in time. It's like learning to drive, it's so hard at first and eventually you don't even think about it. You can do it!
Absolutely savour every single success. Give yourself a huge pat on the back for every single day because in the beginning we’re forging new neural pathways and that’s a real achievement. 🎉
Everything this lady said is so true. I think this is the main reason that I've gotten sober in the past and went back to drinking. I never felt like I had a fruitful life in recovery for most of the reasons she mentioned.
It can be really daunting at first and hard to know how to find a new identity but keep going, you’ll get there. When it feels tough, remember all change is hard. We are basically rewiring the brain (neuroplasticity) when we move to new ways of being in the world. That’s another reason it can feel so uphill at times. But it is totally possible. There’s nothing special about me, and I managed to shift decades of my identity and am now 6 years sober. You can do it too 😊
Fantastic. Thankyou. I personally have cut down my alcohol intake, I wasn't an every day drinker, but I definitely enjoyed 6 or more when I did drink. I totally understand where you are coming from about the socialising part. I'm lucky enough to have family who when I say I'm having a month off from drinking, are very supportive and usually they say 'good on you, I wish I could. I know though that not everyone has that support and it can be very hard. Thankyou once again 😊
Faye thanks for giving this TED talk. It's really comforting that there are so many RUclipsrs and communities out there supporting sobriety. I have relapsed many times, especially during British Summer time. I'm really determined to stay off the booze with Sober October on the horizon. I've started doing some groundwork and getting my head around what triggers me, looking in to alternative strategies and overhauling my pro-booze beliefs . My logical mind tells me that these beliefs are based around the illusions that booze has created. Giving in to them amounts to state of cognitive dissonance, for example using alcohol to alleviate anxiety when the after affect is that it only amplifies the anxiety.
Soooo proud of you. To think of others with problem drinkers as I was 11 years ago By sharing your story you never know who you may help . We need to be connected that’s how God created us to be. Thank you and May Gods bless you.🙏♥️😘
Quit drinking eight years ago after drinking for fifty years with the last thirty-five years drinking excessively every day. There was no doubt that I could stop drinking. My bigger concern was that I could stop drinking. Due to how long I drank, how much I drank, always associated drinking with having a good time. Fearing I didn't have the social skills necessary for a life I wanted. My whole life became centered around alcohol and for the majority of my drinking I enjoyed it so much. Fortunately I was wrong! I quickly felt physically better, the fog in my head disappeared allowing me to make better choices. The biggest advantage of sobriety was that I was able to reestablish the relationships with friends and loved ones that I bankrupted due to my drinking. You brought up some great tips on how to obtain long term sobriety. I found that talking about a problem won't necessarily solve it but it definitely makes it easier to cope with.
Thanks for your comment Dave and massive congratulations on your 8 years - that's impressive! And I think community and connection with others in the same boat - whatever that looks like for the individual - is so important. We need it, especially in the early days when it all feels so alien and wobbly and unsure as to what's 'normal'. Love your work!!!
Brilliant! Thanks Faye- I recently came to realising that most of my social interaction revolved around alcohol, so I have quit, in order to find out who my real friends are. And also, Australian social culture is so predicated around booze....... we can do/be better. Thanks for being a guiding light.There are so many better things to do than get drunk hey! Museums, galleries, picnics, flying kites. Thanks for upholding the idea ;)
Im determined to discover different ways to learn to understand sobriety and in general living a happier healthier lifestyle because i agree no one deserve to live a lonely during sobriety or a robot of so much sobriety learning with no balance of enjoying life doing things with people places and things that being healthy emotional confidence to stay strong in your life as you're recovering from past experiences and trauma that has been unhealed for so long learning new coping ways to live
Wonderful to hear Sharon! Keep going. There are lots of people out there on the same path, there really are. It can take some effort but you can find them. Whether it’s hiking, yoga, creative classes, Facebook groups, meet up groups. There’s so much more out there than you realise with people who don’t drink much or at all. Well done you!
Relapse is absolutely considered part of the cycle of maintaining sobriety, it's so common. Doesn't mean you won't get there. The key is not giving up trying! Promise.
I dont really have a drinking problem( 1 or 2 bi weekly) alcohol isnt my vice i choose and i dread waking up even feeling the slightest hung over, i was curious to know what other things i can do that dont require alcohol, i play video games, but what other activities are out there that i could do that would be fun.
Im on day 2 again i really don't drink much can go around a month and not drink and then drink a day or 2 and quit again but can't get more than a month i know some of it is the pain im going thru but i still feel bad about relapsing every month
Look up the stages of change Josh. It’s a behaviour change model that applies to all types of change but it shows that slipping back sometimes is all part of the process. It doesn’t mean all you have learnt and achieved has gone out the window. It’s another foundational block to get you where you want to go. A slip is just that, it’s like a workout missed at the gym, doesn’t mean you stop going entirely 😊
Well done Faye, fantastic insight. Q: Is there any question if one can actually have a healthy relationship with alcohol excuse the juxtaposition as I somewhat feel alcohol has it’s place in society and can be a great lubricator for a number of life’s stressful events and thus serves a “medicinal” crutch for some or many without it taking over to a dependency level so to speak?
Hi Glenn, thanks for your comment. I am not anti-alcohol and think that if people can enjoy booze in a way that doesn't harm them/the important things in their life, then good luck to them. It's up to the individual to decide what is right for them. I just would like for people to actually have that choice rather being coerced into drinking when they don't really want to (as I said in the talk, admittedly I was one of the worst because it held a mirror up to my own drinking) and to have other options available to them. I'm not here to make people who enjoy a few sensibly feel bad or wrong for that.
What an amazing women but you know ive always thought that. You look and sound like You have been resurrected so to speak. Im so happy for you and wish you so much love for your future and safeness. Matt k
Alcohol is my power pellet, like pacman. I need it function, to be social, to be funny, to be friendly. Without it I'm just a wallflower that never gets involved in or says anything
This is common for a lot of people - drinking to deal with social anxiety. We use it to support us in handling life but then it becomes another problem on top of the initial problem we're trying to manage. Many of us have experienced trauma as well (emotional deprivation can be part of that) and the alcohol is a way to self-soothe and self-medicate. There's lots of help out there if you want it :)
@@danieljasonhanfI think many of us are dealing with trauma from our pasts and it’s difficult to truly heal when alcohol is stopping us from connecting with the parts of ourselves that we need to to do that. 😊
I live in Ireland and so glad with the emergence of Guinness 0.0. People are so so judgemental here if you don't drink because of our strong drinking culture. It's great to disguise drinking but alcohol is the only drug you have to justify not consuming and I think this is wrong.
@@devinmcgroot7560 I think to condemn alcohol itself misses the point. Many people are able to enjoy a few without significant harm, however it does provide something to people whether that’s fun, relaxation, reward etc and over time our brain has such strong associations with alcohol and those feelings that we forget how to do them without it.
This is my 3rd day sober I’m so proud of myself I woke up feeling so good and instead of buying a can of Smirnoff smash I went and got me a smoothie! I should’ve been did this 🎉
I hope youre doing well, if not try again and be gentle to urself! God bless you, in jesus name :-)
Good on you.
Just keep going.
Don’t worry about tomorrow.
Just work on today.
Tomorrow, will be today soon enough.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other. It gets so much easier in time. It's like learning to drive, it's so hard at first and eventually you don't even think about it. You can do it!
The first few days are the toughest. Good for you !!!
Absolutely savour every single success. Give yourself a huge pat on the back for every single day because in the beginning we’re forging new neural pathways and that’s a real achievement. 🎉
Everything this lady said is so true. I think this is the main reason that I've gotten sober in the past and went back to drinking. I never felt like I had a fruitful life in recovery for most of the reasons she mentioned.
It can be really daunting at first and hard to know how to find a new identity but keep going, you’ll get there. When it feels tough, remember all change is hard. We are basically rewiring the brain (neuroplasticity) when we move to new ways of being in the world. That’s another reason it can feel so uphill at times. But it is totally possible. There’s nothing special about me, and I managed to shift decades of my identity and am now 6 years sober. You can do it too 😊
Fantastic. Thankyou. I personally have cut down my alcohol intake, I wasn't an every day drinker, but I definitely enjoyed 6 or more when I did drink. I totally understand where you are coming from about the socialising part. I'm lucky enough to have family who when I say I'm having a month off from drinking, are very supportive and usually they say 'good on you, I wish I could. I know though that not everyone has that support and it can be very hard.
Thankyou once again 😊
The social aspect is really hard for people. Congratulations on cutting down Leanne.
Faye thanks for giving this TED talk.
It's really comforting that there are so many RUclipsrs and communities out there supporting sobriety.
I have relapsed many times, especially during British Summer time.
I'm really determined to stay off the booze with Sober October on the horizon.
I've started doing some groundwork and getting my head around what triggers me, looking in to alternative strategies
and overhauling my pro-booze beliefs .
My logical mind tells me that these beliefs are based around the illusions that booze has created.
Giving in to them amounts to state of cognitive dissonance, for example using alcohol to alleviate anxiety when the after affect is that it only amplifies the anxiety.
I hope you're smashing it after your sober October!
Soooo proud of you.
To think of others with problem drinkers as I was 11 years ago
By sharing your story you never know who you may help .
We need to be connected that’s how God created us to be.
Thank you and May Gods bless you.🙏♥️😘
Thank you Dawn, I really appreciate your positive feedback.
Fantastic work Faye. Great example of giving it away!
Thank you James!
Quit drinking eight years ago after drinking for fifty years with the last thirty-five years drinking excessively every day. There was no doubt that I could stop drinking. My bigger concern was that I could stop drinking. Due to how long I drank, how much I drank, always associated drinking with having a good time. Fearing I didn't have the social skills necessary for a life I wanted. My whole life became centered around alcohol and for the majority of my drinking I enjoyed it so much. Fortunately I was wrong! I quickly felt physically better, the fog in my head disappeared allowing me to make better choices. The biggest advantage of sobriety was that I was able to reestablish the relationships with friends and loved ones that I bankrupted due to my drinking. You brought up some great tips on how to obtain long term sobriety. I found that talking about a problem won't necessarily solve it but it definitely makes it easier to cope with.
Thanks for your comment Dave and massive congratulations on your 8 years - that's impressive! And I think community and connection with others in the same boat - whatever that looks like for the individual - is so important. We need it, especially in the early days when it all feels so alien and wobbly and unsure as to what's 'normal'. Love your work!!!
Brilliant! Thanks Faye- I recently came to realising that most of my social interaction revolved around alcohol, so I have quit, in order to find out who my real friends are. And also, Australian social culture is so predicated around booze....... we can do/be better. Thanks for being a guiding light.There are so many better things to do than get drunk hey! Museums, galleries, picnics, flying kites. Thanks for upholding the idea ;)
Thanks so much Rick :)
5:33 This is amazing.Where did you advertise the group you created? I live in Toronto and we don’t have groups like this.I guess I have to start one
Unfortunately I cannot post links Dona, so just give it a Google or have a look on socials :)
Wow, same. No event in my city is offering a alcohol free environment. You might just have given me the courage to try hosting such a thing. Thanks.
Do it!!! People are crying out for them. Check back in, I’d love to hear how it went 😊
This is amazing! What great work and very much needed.
Thank you Louisa!
Fantastic talk Faye and thanks for all you do! x
Thanks Claire! xx
Im determined to discover different ways to learn to understand sobriety and in general living a happier healthier lifestyle because i agree no one deserve to live a lonely during sobriety or a robot of so much sobriety learning with no balance of enjoying life doing things with people places and things that being healthy emotional confidence to stay strong in your life as you're recovering from past experiences and trauma that has been unhealed for so long learning new coping ways to live
Wonderful to hear Sharon! Keep going. There are lots of people out there on the same path, there really are. It can take some effort but you can find them. Whether it’s hiking, yoga, creative classes, Facebook groups, meet up groups. There’s so much more out there than you realise with people who don’t drink much or at all. Well done you!
Brilliant Faye, well done!
Thanks so much Samantha! :)
Well done Faye, amazing story, amazing cause, from an amazing lady .. sober = cool, and you are shining example of that x
Thank you Anita!
i just relapsed....its the same as it ever was....
Relapse is absolutely considered part of the cycle of maintaining sobriety, it's so common. Doesn't mean you won't get there. The key is not giving up trying! Promise.
I dont really have a drinking problem( 1 or 2 bi weekly) alcohol isnt my vice i choose and i dread waking up even feeling the slightest hung over, i was curious to know what other things i can do that dont require alcohol, i play video games, but what other activities are out there that i could do that would be fun.
Im on day 2 again i really don't drink much can go around a month and not drink and then drink a day or 2 and quit again but can't get more than a month i know some of it is the pain im going thru but i still feel bad about relapsing every month
Look up the stages of change Josh. It’s a behaviour change model that applies to all types of change but it shows that slipping back sometimes is all part of the process. It doesn’t mean all you have learnt and achieved has gone out the window. It’s another foundational block to get you where you want to go. A slip is just that, it’s like a workout missed at the gym, doesn’t mean you stop going entirely 😊
❤thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you for listening to it, James.
Well done Faye, fantastic insight. Q: Is there any question if one can actually have a healthy relationship with alcohol excuse the juxtaposition as I somewhat feel alcohol has it’s place in society and can be a great lubricator for a number of life’s stressful events and thus serves a “medicinal” crutch for some or many without it taking over to a dependency level so to speak?
Hi Glenn, thanks for your comment. I am not anti-alcohol and think that if people can enjoy booze in a way that doesn't harm them/the important things in their life, then good luck to them. It's up to the individual to decide what is right for them. I just would like for people to actually have that choice rather being coerced into drinking when they don't really want to (as I said in the talk, admittedly I was one of the worst because it held a mirror up to my own drinking) and to have other options available to them. I'm not here to make people who enjoy a few sensibly feel bad or wrong for that.
What an amazing women but you know ive always thought that. You look and sound like You have been resurrected so to speak. Im so happy for you and wish you so much love for your future and safeness. Matt k
i dont have any support except the GP: they all say your problem isnt bad enough
Why did untoxicated close down? 🤔
Unfortunately we couldn't secure any funding and it had grown wayyyy too large for me to continue running as a volunteer, almost a full time job.
Alcohol is my power pellet, like pacman. I need it function, to be social, to be funny, to be friendly. Without it I'm just a wallflower that never gets involved in or says anything
My 17 year old parents messed me up pretty good with the emotional deprivation
This is common for a lot of people - drinking to deal with social anxiety. We use it to support us in handling life but then it becomes another problem on top of the initial problem we're trying to manage. Many of us have experienced trauma as well (emotional deprivation can be part of that) and the alcohol is a way to self-soothe and self-medicate. There's lots of help out there if you want it :)
@@danieljasonhanfI think many of us are dealing with trauma from our pasts and it’s difficult to truly heal when alcohol is stopping us from connecting with the parts of ourselves that we need to to do that. 😊
I order a soda water with lime. And no one knows there's no vodka in it :)
Exactly! Well done :)
I live in Ireland and so glad with the emergence of Guinness 0.0. People are so so judgemental here if you don't drink because of our strong drinking culture. It's great to disguise drinking but alcohol is the only drug you have to justify not consuming and I think this is wrong.
Alcohol isn't fun, to begin with.
I think once you stop, you realise that.
it's not fun when you take too much, otherwise it is fun which is why people do it in the first place.
@@devinmcgroot7560 I think to condemn alcohol itself misses the point. Many people are able to enjoy a few without significant harm, however it does provide something to people whether that’s fun, relaxation, reward etc and over time our brain has such strong associations with alcohol and those feelings that we forget how to do them without it.
@@fayelawrence yes, and we have to relearn how to function without alcohol. but we can do it.
and its thesameas it ever was
I understand completely. It can feel like you're stuck on a hamster wheel. But you can change it, keep trying!
I want to be sobre!
What do you want to be on or near?
First, we work on your spelling