My experience so far has been like this: IN MBTI terms, as an INFJ, I am defenseless against type of women who are strong in my tertiarty and inferiort functions, IOW, ISTPs. They notice that and like the kind of power they have over me. And I feel a desire to merge with them, which manifests as lust. However, I also notice that my relationship with such women would purely be carnal and sexual (and border on sadomasochism), yet there would be little mental or emotional connection because ISTPs have low relatively lower Ni and Fe compared to INFJ. ISTPs have inverted narcissistic traits, their dominant Ti indicates a highly calculating mind, supported by auxiliary Se, which signifiies a desire to satisfy sensory/material needs, which in couple indicates a highly opportunitistic mentality. Therefore, ISTPs would use and abuse INFJs for personel gain, which after some time would turn the relationship into a codependent relationship for the INFJ. ESTps I don't like that much cause their Se is too much for me to bear. I think same concept applies to all MBTI types, i.e., all types are drawn to types that are strong in the formers' tertiary and inferior functions. That is to say, an ENTP would be lustfully drawn to ESFJs, and I believe that is some kind of error correction mechanism for procreation that drives us unconciously to find mates who would even out our weak functions (in the offspring). However, after the honeymoon phase, this attraction dies if it cannot be replaced by complementary components like emotional and mental (or physical) attraction. This attraction gives some kind of high like a drug, and plays out as a physical attraction for me and I wonder if that is because my inferior function is Se. The ISTP uses Se (sex and domination, she uses her body like an instrument) to secure Fe (adoration and worship) from INFJ, which must act like a drug to ISTPs' inferior Fe. Is it the same between ENTP and ESFJ, or is it something related to ENTP's inferior Si (ENTP feeling traditionally moral, a family man?). and ESFJ's inferior Ti (ESFJ feeling smart)? OTOH, my recent interaction with a ENTP woman made me believe that an ENTP is what I need as an INFJ for a long term partnership. I enjoy her Ne in that she coerces me out of my Ni shell and her energy excites me. There's also mental connection of having similar interests and deductions about life due to Ti-Fe coupling so we can talk about similar things without getting bored and enjoy doing similar stuff. And, just as I can withstand and respond to her Ne barrage with my Ni (IOW, passive/dormant Ne), which means she can be her authentic self around me without harming me, and I think she will be able to match and respond to my inferior Se thru her inferior Si (dormant Se, IOW, dormant sexuality). So, ENTP seems to have what I seek in a life partner, whose continued presence I can tolerate without getting bored or irked, cause it has all the components, mental, emotional and physical compatibility. However, this is just in theory, and we could not make it work yet. Like in this: ruclips.net/video/h-rVfbKetFs/видео.html I cannot however see how duals would support each other without grating on each other or finding some kind of mental connection, i.e. some thing to talk about when they are all alone at home and when sex lost is passion.
maybe the real key is not date your dual but to instead become your dual. Duality only seem attractive if both people are place in a unstable environment but contrary relations need stability and thus a motivation for both parties to have stability rather to create unstable environment for the sake of attraction.
There are also theories on developing your role function; so lets assume both have a well developed 8th function; that could possibly make it better than duality, cause they get closer to each other in bad situations, cause the person in stress will put the 8th function mask on and the others person will find what they seek and help the other person even more in bad situation and might subconciously motivate the other partner, cause regardless of outcome, they will get happier. In case the 8th function isnt developed, the things you mention will be problems though.
Eric,I agree with what you are saying about an ENFP/INTJ relationship,however I don't see a better match. If both types have matured a bit they will realize the obstacles and make concessions to avoid them. An immature INTJ may come across as being too nit picky and an immature ENFP will be seen as too dramatic and mercurial.I give both types the credit to be able to realize their own shortcoming (eventually) and how they may be perceived negatively by their partner's different perspective. I used to think that my constructive criticism was positive,but learned that it was often taken as negative criticism and left my partners feeling like they "would never be good enough for me". From my perspective I just didn't like to brush my teeth with crusty toothpaste when she (ENFP)would (often) leave the cap off. Instead of opening up a can of worms (especially with a lover),INTJs would do well to STFU and just have a secret stash of toothpaste. It is an incredibly deep connection with these two types and that same strong passion will carry over in any fights and be amplified,causing doubts from both sides. Conflicts with this pairing may be rare,but it might not take many fights to end the relationship.
I think the concept of "The INTJ and ENFP being the perfect couple" is an overrated concept, and I've rarely seen it work in the long run. I've tried dating quite a few, but it did not work out. They tend to be better friends than lovers in my opinion. I was always attracted to ISTJs, but they never shared the same feelings. Haha My husband is an INFJ, but prior to marriage (October 2017), we've been together for 6 years. Despite the fact that our cognitive functions are the inverse of one another, we've had the experience and the communication to understand how we operate. The first two years were pretty brutal and lead to a lot of arguments, but after that, we both settled down and established how we wanted to work together. Since then, we were able to strengthen our bond and provide strength for the areas where the other may fall short.
According to Gulenko, the Mirage is the 2nd best after duality for Irrational types. While Semi-duality is the 2nd best for Rational types the reason for this is that it's better to have one Logical and one Ethical partner. Sauce: ruclips.net/video/9LJb0y5f8Pg/видео.html
I'm not sure if I agree but I appreciate the video anyway. I'm an ENFP and my duality match is ISTP... I have had a very close friend in the past who was ISTP and she did give me something I've never got before... but so did the INTJs in my life.... and there is just more depth in understanding from the INTJs. That's my opinion and experience as an ENFP anyway.
Being commitment jumpy is the best way you can describe my romantic life. Thanks 👍
My experience so far has been like this:
IN MBTI terms, as an INFJ, I am defenseless against type of women who are strong in my tertiarty and inferiort functions, IOW, ISTPs. They notice that and like the kind of power they have over me. And I feel a desire to merge with them, which manifests as lust.
However, I also notice that my relationship with such women would purely be carnal and sexual (and border on sadomasochism), yet there would be little mental or emotional connection because ISTPs have low relatively lower Ni and Fe compared to INFJ. ISTPs have inverted narcissistic traits, their dominant Ti indicates a highly calculating mind, supported by auxiliary Se, which signifiies a desire to satisfy sensory/material needs, which in couple indicates a highly opportunitistic mentality. Therefore, ISTPs would use and abuse INFJs for personel gain, which after some time would turn the relationship into a codependent relationship for the INFJ. ESTps I don't like that much cause their Se is too much for me to bear.
I think same concept applies to all MBTI types, i.e., all types are drawn to types that are strong in the formers' tertiary and inferior functions. That is to say, an ENTP would be lustfully drawn to ESFJs, and I believe that is some kind of error correction mechanism for procreation that drives us unconciously to find mates who would even out our weak functions (in the offspring). However, after the honeymoon phase, this attraction dies if it cannot be replaced by complementary components like emotional and mental (or physical) attraction.
This attraction gives some kind of high like a drug, and plays out as a physical attraction for me and I wonder if that is because my inferior function is Se. The ISTP uses Se (sex and domination, she uses her body like an instrument) to secure Fe (adoration and worship) from INFJ, which must act like a drug to ISTPs' inferior Fe. Is it the same between ENTP and ESFJ, or is it something related to ENTP's inferior Si (ENTP feeling traditionally moral, a family man?). and ESFJ's inferior Ti (ESFJ feeling smart)?
OTOH, my recent interaction with a ENTP woman made me believe that an ENTP is what I need as an INFJ for a long term partnership. I enjoy her Ne in that she coerces me out of my Ni shell and her energy excites me. There's also mental connection of having similar interests and deductions about life due to Ti-Fe coupling so we can talk about similar things without getting bored and enjoy doing similar stuff. And, just as I can withstand and respond to her Ne barrage with my Ni (IOW, passive/dormant Ne), which means she can be her authentic self around me without harming me, and I think she will be able to match and respond to my inferior Se thru her inferior Si (dormant Se, IOW, dormant sexuality).
So, ENTP seems to have what I seek in a life partner, whose continued presence I can tolerate without getting bored or irked, cause it has all the components, mental, emotional and physical compatibility. However, this is just in theory, and we could not make it work yet.
Like in this: ruclips.net/video/h-rVfbKetFs/видео.html
I cannot however see how duals would support each other without grating on each other or finding some kind of mental connection, i.e. some thing to talk about when they are all alone at home and when sex lost is passion.
maybe the real key is not date your dual but to instead become your dual.
Duality only seem attractive if both people are place in a unstable environment but contrary relations need stability and thus a motivation for both parties to have stability rather to create unstable environment for the sake of attraction.
There are also theories on developing your role function; so lets assume both have a well developed 8th function; that could possibly make it better than duality, cause they get closer to each other in bad situations, cause the person in stress will put the 8th function mask on and the others person will find what they seek and help the other person even more in bad situation and might subconciously motivate the other partner, cause regardless of outcome, they will get happier.
In case the 8th function isnt developed, the things you mention will be problems though.
Eric,I agree with what you are saying about an ENFP/INTJ relationship,however I don't see a better match. If both types have matured a bit they will realize the obstacles and make concessions to avoid them. An immature INTJ may come across as being too nit picky and an immature ENFP will be seen as too dramatic and mercurial.I give both types the credit to be able to realize their own shortcoming (eventually) and how they may be perceived negatively by their partner's different perspective.
I used to think that my constructive criticism was positive,but learned that it was often taken as negative criticism and left my partners feeling like they "would never be good enough for me". From my perspective I just didn't like to brush my teeth with crusty toothpaste when she (ENFP)would (often) leave the cap off. Instead of opening up a can of worms (especially with a lover),INTJs would do well to STFU and just have a secret stash of toothpaste.
It is an incredibly deep connection with these two types and that same strong passion will carry over in any fights and be amplified,causing doubts from both sides. Conflicts with this pairing may be rare,but it might not take many fights to end the relationship.
I hate when people leave the cap off and I'm an ENFP haha!
I don't smoke but what a way to light up a cig LOL
I think the concept of "The INTJ and ENFP being the perfect couple" is an overrated concept, and I've rarely seen it work in the long run. I've tried dating quite a few, but it did not work out. They tend to be better friends than lovers in my opinion. I was always attracted to ISTJs, but they never shared the same feelings. Haha
My husband is an INFJ, but prior to marriage (October 2017), we've been together for 6 years. Despite the fact that our cognitive functions are the inverse of one another, we've had the experience and the communication to understand how we operate. The first two years were pretty brutal and lead to a lot of arguments, but after that, we both settled down and established how we wanted to work together. Since then, we were able to strengthen our bond and provide strength for the areas where the other may fall short.
According to Gulenko, the Mirage is the 2nd best after duality for Irrational types. While Semi-duality is the 2nd best for Rational types the reason for this is that it's better to have one Logical and one Ethical partner.
Sauce: ruclips.net/video/9LJb0y5f8Pg/видео.html
I'm not sure if I agree but I appreciate the video anyway. I'm an ENFP and my duality match is ISTP... I have had a very close friend in the past who was ISTP and she did give me something I've never got before... but so did the INTJs in my life.... and there is just more depth in understanding from the INTJs. That's my opinion and experience as an ENFP anyway.