How to talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
- #social #rizz #socialskills
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Most people want to be spoken to, flirted with, teased and given the chance to escape their continuous mental chatter and dull existence.
But oftentimes we have no clue how to begin such interactions or, worse yet, we're terrified to do so.
So we remain in silence, stare at our phones and are the first ones to frantically press the button to open the lift.
And it's because of our reluctance to start the interaction that we cherish those few individuals who take it upon themselves to initiate the conversation while they’re standing in an elevator, queuing in line at a cafe or simply passing us by on the street.
So how do they do it?
0:00 Your worst nightmare...
0:57 (1) Go first, go positive & be constant in doing it
1:44 (2) The multidisciplinary approach to socialising
2:36 Allow me to share a secret with you...
3:41 Don't worry, you don't need to be a dog
4:45 The ultimate hack to talk to ANYONE
6:15 Outro rizz
Title ideas:
The social hack which changed my life
How to become a social magnet
How to socialise with anyone
How to improve your social skills
#socialskillscoaching #flirting
![Roddy Ricch - Survivors Remorse [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/J5IeFzr2GgE/mqdefault.jpg)
I say we boycott the word 'reciprocation'. Who's with me boiz?
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Great video, saw it the first time you uploaded.
Anyway, LOVE your content, dude.
Also, I joined your Discord and emailed you looking for ways to aid you on your journey. Let me know!
@@maddscientist82 Thanks brother! And sounds good.
Yo I love your vest, is it tailored or just store bought?
@4D-Weather_Man thanks brother! I bought it from a small independent tailors - it’s a hand made Portuguese tweed suit - not sure on the brand
We all can say it, but if you really feel the need for this ban we will support you.
moral of the story: choose stairs
Thank you... I needed this comment
I literally died laughing at this my wife thought I was choking in the other room
@@joshholmes322
😂
😂
this _USE_ to be right. Now its def. isnt.
The oldest trick I've learned is treat every stranger like an old friend from high school. Absolutely works wonders and immediately breaks the tension.
This is the key! That technique helped me to make lots of new friends lately
isnt that how every guy treats each other if they are not in work
@@a21123 the universal bro code
what if you had no friends in high school
@@mikec2845touche
Finally realized I have to go bald before I can talk to people ty
shit, forgot to mention this!
@@NewelOfKnowledge noted..
@@NewelOfKnowledge policeman,firefighter,doctor.
@@NewelOfKnowledgeyeah then you have a conversation started everywhere you go😂 “Hey Hey miss/Mr have you seen my hair? It seems to have grown legs and jumped off my head!
He hasn’t went bald, he’s shaved his head 🤣
First 15 minutes after arriving in the US for the first time, a woman got in the busy elevator and faced everybody instead of the door and was just talking at everybody.
As a Brit, I've still not recovered from this.
😂
You never went to an elevator again, right? Just imagine the same torture happening again 😬
You're not a Brit.
It's a lift. 😄
@@magyarbondi maybe they stayed quite a while in the US and picked up the American term.
was about to say the same. As a german. ... why is there always the need to talk? people can just be quiet for 2 minute in the elevator 😀 In the US it wont stay silent for a second from my experience, but I dont mind either.
I don't like to make conversation in a place where it is liable to be cut short permanently. What is awkward is people's intolerance of quiet.
Fair point.
That's good! Make it part of the 'taking in your environment' exercise, but careful not to use it as a cop out either.
Even if we only spoke for ten seconds, that's enough to make someone feel noticed, heard and, as a corollary, special. It's actually enought time to make a first impression.
Perhaps a change of objective might enhance your experience(s). So, spread some cheer! Well, if that becomes your objective, tight time horizons will only motivate you to be more creative/ witty. 👌
you meant to say prematurely instead of permanently, right?
hard agree though, i would not try to start a conversation in an elevator when we'd part ways before i could reply to my partner in a proper manner. but that is fine and ok. we don't have to talk all the time.
yet you had to say something now
theres always the option when you dont end the conversation and just keep talking... but i get it, whatever excuse will do.
Silence doesn’t have to be awkward. Silence just is
Sounds like a cope, friend.
@@user-br6ve4lz6n you never had enjoyable silence with someone you are close to?
@@blaz1641 that's not the kind of silence being discussed here. Of course, that is not awkward.
@@blaz1641 Sure, I guess. That's not what the video is about though, this video is about connecting with the people around you. You can't do that through silence unless you are already very close to them.
@@user-br6ve4lz6n Yes but what if it's clear the people in question have no intention of connecting and only speak because of the implied cultural pressure, the forced conversation that arises is always more awkward than the silence that should have been
I actually have friends who are masters at this, hence why they're loved by everyone. They are super positive and make you really feel heard and understood. I don't know anyone as energetic, positive and "safe" as them. One day I'll ask them how do they do it, but maybe I already know the answer...
I'm that friend
do they make you feel heard or are they litsening?
'energetic, positive and safe' sounds like me, but I am not a master at the topic of this video since I'm super bad at having conversations
They aren’t loved by everyone. They sound intolerable.
@@vackor They're listening. Idk how they can keep information even after I forgot what I said.
Hey Lewis! My name's Ian. A while ago I came into the gym u used to work at and wanted to say thanks for being really nice to talk to! Best wishes for your RUclips channel Ur content is really helpful!
Ian, how could I possibly forget you! The mature young man, hustling with homework, gym and always about his business. It's great to hear from you mate. How did you find the channel? I hope you're doing well and maintaining your hustle with much deserved relaxation ;)
Anyone who talks in the gym should be taken out and permantly silenced. I’m there to work out not have a chat.
@@jamessmithson-br7rm Lewis *worked AT* the gym, and was apparently a friendly staff member. I’d throw myself out of any gym where the staff didn’t talk to me. ;)
To each their own, James. If I can't chat a bit at the gym, I don't want to come there. For me, it's also a time to socialize a little. If you don't like it, don't talk to people
@@jamessmithson-br7rm Bro 60% of working out is sitting around doing nothing waiting for your next set... It's not a library...
Hey, mate! A similar situation happened to me today when I was in the elevator and this pretty girl entered it. I managed to find her during lunch time and we started talking. Well, we gonna go out for a walk tomorrow, since she’s new in the city. Cheers from Brasil, mate! All of the best
Awesome stuff brother! Glad to hear it. I hope the walk goes well ;) Tell her I said "tudo bem!"
I saw my crush everyday in the gym and sometimes in the elevator... And I didn't even say "hi"
Neither did she.
Last month I just saw her getting engaged to the biggest Deckhead dude in my same gym session.
And it absolutely SHOCKED me.
Que homem.
How’s the date been ?
Boa sorte, parceiro! Tomara que dê tudo certo pra ti.
Interestingly enough, you can also use mirrored reciprocation to better negotiate/avoid conflict. For example, if someone says something, anything really, you mirror their response back at them.
Person: "I'm so frustrated with your department"
You: "You're frustrated with the sales department?"
Person: "Yeah, our VP of project management is telling us to try and align with with the expectations your department is setting for the clients. And those expectations are unrealistic for us to fulfill."
Next, you never ask a "why" question. "Why" questions make people inherently defensive because they sound accusatory. Instead, ask a "what" question...
You: "What makes you frustrated specifically?"
Person: "Well this employee of yours promised this (goes into detail about an unrealistic expectation that was set)".
You: "Ah, well if they had attended that enablement workshop from last week, they should know better. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I'll correct their course!"
Issue resolved in a mostly non-confrontational confrontation, all because you mirrored their frustrations and gave them an opportunity to elaborate without making them feel the need to be defensive.
Ah man this made me happy! It seems you've been reading some Chris Voss (or perhaps not). Your knowledge of communication is awesome. Thanks for sharing this.
@@NewelOfKnowledge "Never Split the Difference" changed my life, yessir!
Right back at you! I watched this video, and was like, "I know exactly what he's talking about!" That dog example was a chef's kiss 🧑🍳
@@wizcatcheslightning Awesome stuff. Love to hear appreciation for that book. Thanks again sir ;)
Source?
Great comment! As a counsellor, this is one of the first basic things you learn - WHY is often interpreted as an accusation so people get defensive, hence we ask WHAT or HOW if we want to help them express themselves and open up. It's a great basic communication technique and helps people feel heard and valued.
I've never fully understood why people trusted me so fast. People would tell me i'm their only "safe place" or i would meet someone and they would tell me later they immediately felt comfortable.
This really broke it down for me and helped me understand what I do.
I am the type of person to toss compliments at people, go up to a stranger to say they look like a celebrity (i do this very often) or something random to make them smile, and try to, at least once a day, verbalize how much the people I'm close to matter to me. Sometimes in a small speech about how much I love them and appreciate them, other times just a quick "thanks for being there for me, man."
I love the feeling that I'm helping people around me. I love knowing someone smiled for just a few seconds after walking by me because I said i loved their new hairstyle or their outfit looks especially good. I love knowing people feel like they can trust me without any fear I'll break it.
I love to love. Thank you.
You sound like such a genuine and amazing person.
I feel like I love you already just reading this! 😂
And not because I am ‘craving’ the validation in some way, but because people who bring positivity and love into the world, I just love them. I feel the same way. I like to give random people compliments and make their day. Not to get anything back from it, though I must admit seeing them smile or be happy because of it makes me more happy :)❤
Always felt like this. When i read the book How to Win friends and influence people, most of the book already felt natural and intuitive.
People don’t understand this is the key to getting anything you want in this world, but you don’t do it to gain, you do it because it feels right (being a genuine and loving human that is)
Some wholesomeness happening right here in this comment thread and I love it.
Honestly, you sound intolerable.
Wow man I was literally smiling throughout reading your whole comment. Imma try to be more like you :)
I relish the moments you guys call "awkward silence". I live for that shit
I have a mate that loves it as well. Bathes in it like it’s glorious sunshine and works towards it like its the ultimate conversational goal.
It has made me appreciate silence in a different way and not feel as awkward with it sometimes 🤣
Why?
dont worry some of us are isolated anti-social hermits like you and thats okay
remaining silent or not greeting someone when you feel the tension like you should always makes it more awkward in the future.
I have been through this in the lift , almost everyday in the gym
Mostly with women , men are absolute bros anytime.
But women are extremely guarded everywhere
THIS !
This man right here deserves all the love and attention
Likewise comrade!
What helped me a lot where two things.
1. Try to understand the fear or anxiety you have towards talking to strangers. For me it was important to understand what hold me back from doin it to understand, that there is really nothing to worrie about and nothing to Lose.
2. To understand, that talking and not talking are equally good. You dont have to talk. But if you feel like it, Just Do it. Takes the pressure out of it.
3. Be authentic. Ask things you really find interessting. Talk about stuff thats really funny/interessting/deep/meaningfull to you.
The third Was a Bonus :)
Great stuff! Thanks for sharing :)
I do this all the time, it’s pretty fun. I’m more connected with strangers than my own friends at times.
Ive listened to alot of these kinds of videos, but ive never come across the "give them something to solve" idea. Thats a very easy way to start a fun interaction. Thanks man!
Absolute gem of a channel you have.
Thank you sir!
Peter's insight on mirrored reciprocation is a powerful reminder that the energy we emit is often the energy we receive. Starting with a positive, caring attitude can transform our interactions and bring about mutual respect and love. 🔄
honestly, this is superb advice. when you begin to try to lift peoples' day up just a little with a genuine smile and a good will for them, that does reverb back either quite soon or eventually. that can definitely work in all sorts of aspects like starting a conversation to help people let go of some steam or other things alike.
Learning to make convo with strangers led me to the most beautiful conversations
Long ago I made it an exercise to talk to everyone I meet. If you keep doing this habit it gets very easy to talk to anyone.
what do you mean and how did you do it??
wow, this is interesting, does it really work?
@@fflxres It's very simple if you are sharing an elevator with someone, just make an opening comment. If you are at a party join a conversation, where every you see an opportunity don't wait, you start the conversation with anyone, its' practice. If you meet a stranger say good morning, try and be funny, kind or light hearted. I live in Thailand so I imagine it would be harder to do this living in a city where people are more guarded. I should of said most people in my original comment, use your discretion.
@@anttif. Yes if you do this over years, you will find it easier to approach and talk to anyone. Sometimes you need to challenge yourself. Just go with no agenda other than to practice starting conversation. Just talk with anyone don't save yourself for certain people, make it a habit. It's really helpful so that when you have to speak for business or to someone you would like to get to know it makes it far less daunting.
@@rickclick8359 Thank you for the response, it's motivating.
Your channel came to me as a blessing. Been needing so many things u say
give them something to solve is actually really good advice thanks bro
Such a simple tip, but still genius. Not only is it a good ice-breaker, it also makes you aware of your surroundings so you might notice things that others don't.
Dude I love how authentic you are with your presentations, keep it up man 👊🏾
Short and sweet!
Great job - Thanks a lot Man, may you have a blessed life
never has a video made so much sense and so easy to understand. I thank you sir
A scenario like this always reminds me of how few people are actually free in our society, mentally.
What's funny is that in my adult life I've found these conversations easy to start and get into. My mindset is basically that it won't matter if that girl doesn't like me or will continue talking to me, she doesn't know me so the "me" that's rejected is just what she thinks is "me". Quite frankly I've had a lot of success with people doing this. It helps that I'm naturally friendly, curious, social, and interested in what they have to say.
This was genuinely one of the best videos Ive seen in the past months on youtube. Charming, funny but still concise, you deserve more subscribers. I'll start. Subscribed.
Yeah good luck with that in Scandinavia. Here it' like 80% reject your positivity and 20% wanna talk to you, where out of those 20% only 5% end in good conversations with strangers.
Because you get what you give. In all the friendships I had, I noticed that when you give from your soul without expecting a payback, you get nicely rewarded.
You are confused. Friendship and ephemeral small talk are not the same
I'm really happy to have watched this video. I generally enjoy smalltalk with strangers but sometimes don't have a good way of initiating conversation.
Looking forward to trying out your trick of just observing something in the environment
Thank you for putting such a great message in such a short video, loved it. There's nothing to be afraid of, especially if it's casual communication. A few days ago, a girl from my university needed help with her survey for her senior thesis, and without even noticing it, instead of silently filling out this survey, I asked her a few questions, and we had a pleasant 5-minute talk :)
Awesome stuff! Good job man. Proud of you. Thank you for the comment :)
I was taught that it is almost always good to notice something about the other person (generally something they seem to have put thought and effort into) and mentioning it, coupled with an open ended question.
But I can see how observing the enviroment would give you a lot more to play with. And I guess I do this without really thinking about it.
Love the video. Consider me subscribed.
Thank you Lewis!
The first time I visited Denmark, for more than a decade ago, I said Hello to everyone at the bus station. Everyone seemed either shy or surprised and no one responded back . I felt so awkward and stopped saying hello from that day on 😅. Until I met an old lady who said Hello and had the hugest smile ever (unexpectedly) 😄
Wow! I'm rarely amazed by the quality of youtube videos! Good job man, please keep making these!
Keep making these videos. I subbed a couple weeks back, it’s kinda shocking to find such an intelligent person with such a small RUclips following and yet this high production quality and dedication
Welcome aboard comrade! Thank you for your confidence :)
that dog conversation had me LOL
Ever since i’ve seen one your videos, i’m hooked. I love your videos. Keep doing what ur doing and i wish u the best of luck.
The one thing that immediately kept me to continue watching this video was that you're so charismatic and entertaining to watch :)
Killer topics and efficient teaching of them, brother. Thank you a ton. The “solve a problem together” method is brilliant.
I try to start conversations but ppl just ignore my existence💀
Same bro 😂😂. But I just put into my mind that it doesn't matter if I'm thought of a fool... I already accept I am. That freed me from social anxiety lol
😂😂
Basically
Most likely you are not doing it right. Go to 4:45 and see if you do the things he suggests (I know I should too...)
Not everyone responds and that's totally fine. That doesn't make you incompetent.
I've been thinking about this a lot recently, this video came a long at the perfect time, thank you!
Thank you! Great advice. I'm going to start action and doing this! 😀
This is so true and excellent advice! I absolutely love when people are willing to start a conversation with me, so it makes sense that people would love if I do it for them. I'll make it a point to try this in the future, thank you for the video! Also subbed to your newsletter, excited to see what you're about.
Thanks I will definitely try that!
thanks, sir, wonderful contents!
thank you for making this dude
very warm and funny) thx a lot! ❤
This video is on time. I am having social anxiety. SWEAR! I am nervous with people. thank you for the free class lessons today sir. Keep on sharing your videos. All the way from Philippines 🇵🇭
This is so good man. I'm gonna be consuming your content daily now. ✨
This. Is. Brilliant.
This was incredible man! I love your energy
Loved this video! Great suggestions. Thanks for sharing
Short, simple, but to the point and delivers critical information. Great video! Now i need to stop procrastinating and actually start to be the 2% who initiate conversations
Get straight to it brother!
I've been doing this for a while, just noticing strange stuff and pointing it out or asking a question about it.
It's an amazing conversation starter, I didn't know it was an actual technique😂
I always felt kinda weird doing it, but now I'm gonna do it more often, thanks!
This is the first video I ever watched of you and I loved it! You have such a great energy, I immediately subscribed
So happy I landed on this video. You should have more subscribers.
For those who are curious, elevator walls have mirrors to help remedy the claustrophobic nature of them. Mirrors seemingly make a room visually larger
WE HAVE THE ANSWER!
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"
love your videos man, keep it up !
How did i never see this guy? You're amazing!
This is a great video man. Well done.
The master of Storytelling
Go first, go positive! ❤ I love this. ❤
Great video!
Haven't watched any other video of yours yet, but I intend to. Already subbed and look forward to watching your other videos. I hope they have as much or more wisdom as this one. Thank you for this content, I very much need it!
This is amazing!
Wow... great video mate! Recently switched jobs from a front facing service role to office work. Its been a bit of a struggle to acclimatize ngl. I've been really missing all those fun, little interactions.
Clearly I need to make more of an effort to talk with everyone. Just what i needed to hear today, had me smiling ear to ear by the end 😅 cheers!
Most underrated channel on youtube
Good energy, thanks )
I'm in the highest difficulty then since i live in France and people here are generally a bit closed/shy, always in a rush, never smile, it is quite sad actually but still I try to engage and some people are quite wonderful like a sunshine after the storm.
I believe that ram dass said that you should treat your relationships like a meditation, you discover yourself while discovering another human being, you have to be open and without judgement whatsoever to truly know someone in all their shades.
❤
Awesome story telling man!
Love your energy and attitude, it really put a smile on my face
:')
Amazing video! :D exactly what I needed! :D Thank you
This video is amazing: entertaining, useful and with a pinch of humor!
Such an important a true idea, thanks for the video :D
Lewis! You’re a captivating speaker brother. Great videos on this channel. A HINT for others who want to have better conversations with people they sort of know (someone at the gym you maybe wave or nod to and so on) I always after saying hello and asking how they are will run that sentence and say what are you excited about. “hey how are you today (the slightest pause) what’s exciting today” either we talk about a thing in the gym they are excited about or I’ll hear about something in life and the conversation can just FLOW cause someone is talking about what they are excited about. Which you can do anywhere in life.
Matt, all I can say is thank you. Not only for your comment but for the solid conversation starter of "what's exciting today?" I absolutely love it and I'm going to use it from now on. Another one similar to that is "what do you love most about your work?". Keep up the good work mate!
This is good advice. My stepdad was a master at this. He struck up conversations everywhere. If he had to queue up for something you can guarantee he would start chats to the people. around him, and people responded so positively to him. He made so many friends.
I'd love to meet him in an elevator
Bro you really deserve more subscribers
Idk this video just popped up on my screen and I just love the way you’re expressing your ideas
Thank you :)
Such an underrated video
Loved every second of the video
Thanks Newel
Dude, your channel will blow up!
Heyy, met you on Brandon Hill last year - awesome to see you conquering RUclips! Keep it up!
Man I love your vibe. How did I not not know this channel?
Welcome sir! :)
I love the inclusion of the Upanishad at the end 🙏
Another banger video. Keep it up bro, you’re very enlightening👍🏼
Thank you sir!
underrated channel
This video was like a breath of fresh air from everything else on youtube! Love your personality man. Im subbing :)
Welcome! :) And thank you!
Nice video, well presented. Cheers from Germany
Hey Lewis, i came across your video on the churchill principle which was fascinating to me, as i had been asking myself so many questions about balancing those aspects of my life. i ended up watching a lot of you’d videos and fell in love with your content, you’ve quickly become one of my favourite youtubers, you have a great energy and really interesting subjects 💪 Keep up the great vids coming brother you’ve inspired me to get back to making youtube videos
Demz! Welcome brother. Great to hear you find value in the content. Get back on making videos for sure. There's a lot in store for you. :)
Practical advice ❤
Silence need not be awkward. Sometimes silence is just silence.
You can't ask extroverts to understand that. If they stop speaking for a minute they have to think, can you imagine that? THINKING. Insanity!
Two donkeys have gathered
I agree. Whenever I hear someone say that silence is awkward, I feel like "Maybe you're just bad at silence".
Well RUclips did i again, recommended me something new, that wierdly is exactly about what a was thinking about the last few days. Looking forward to your other content.