1 month later, allow me to clarify some things... The main counter-arguments to this video in the comments are: - "I couldn't think of anything worse than someone trying to talk to me all the time, let alone start a conversation with me in an elevator! Plus there's not a one-size fits all approach to socialising! Anyway, who cares?" So here's my response: - To interpret this video as "this guy is just saying we should ALWAYS avoid silence" is missing the point. - Silence is sometimes necessary if what you're after is a sane mind. - The example of the elevator was an example (emphasis on the word "example"). I used it to illustrate any scenario you might find yourself in where you might want (key words "might want") to spark up a conversation with someone. - However, if you're an unsociable fellow who prefers his own company to some random British man with a moustache trying to talk to you about god knows what in the hopes of having a lively conversation, that's fine. Knock yourself out with your solitude. - But for those of you who do want to occasionally speak to strangers and improve your approachability, I made this video for you. Regardless of what camp you fall into, Thanks for watching. Lewis
Great video, saw it the first time you uploaded. Anyway, LOVE your content, dude. Also, I joined your Discord and emailed you looking for ways to aid you on your journey. Let me know!
The oldest trick I've learned is treat every stranger like an old friend from high school. Absolutely works wonders and immediately breaks the tension.
It's also supposed to reduce the risk of people vandalizing the elevator because "studies show" (a.k.a. I think I've read somewhere) that people are less likely to mess stuff up if they feel observed, even if it's just by their own reflection. Or maybe especially if it's by their own reflection.
First 15 minutes after arriving in the US for the first time, a woman got in the busy elevator and faced everybody instead of the door and was just talking at everybody. As a Brit, I've still not recovered from this.
was about to say the same. As a german. ... why is there always the need to talk? people can just be quiet for 2 minute in the elevator 😀 In the US it wont stay silent for a second from my experience, but I dont mind either.
@@NewelOfKnowledgeyeah then you have a conversation started everywhere you go😂 “Hey Hey miss/Mr have you seen my hair? It seems to have grown legs and jumped off my head!
@@blaz1641 Sure, I guess. That's not what the video is about though, this video is about connecting with the people around you. You can't do that through silence unless you are already very close to them.
@@JoeyG-o8r Yes but what if it's clear the people in question have no intention of connecting and only speak because of the implied cultural pressure, the forced conversation that arises is always more awkward than the silence that should have been
That's good! Make it part of the 'taking in your environment' exercise, but careful not to use it as a cop out either. Even if we only spoke for ten seconds, that's enough to make someone feel noticed, heard and, as a corollary, special. It's actually enought time to make a first impression. Perhaps a change of objective might enhance your experience(s). So, spread some cheer! Well, if that becomes your objective, tight time horizons will only motivate you to be more creative/ witty. 👌
you meant to say prematurely instead of permanently, right? hard agree though, i would not try to start a conversation in an elevator when we'd part ways before i could reply to my partner in a proper manner. but that is fine and ok. we don't have to talk all the time.
I actually have friends who are masters at this, hence why they're loved by everyone. They are super positive and make you really feel heard and understood. I don't know anyone as energetic, positive and "safe" as them. One day I'll ask them how do they do it, but maybe I already know the answer...
Key points: - Go first. Break the silence. - Give what you want to other people. Make other people feel important. - Give the other person something to solve when you go first. For example: •Notice something in the enviroment •Show it to the other person •Discuss it
I've never fully understood why people trusted me so fast. People would tell me i'm their only "safe place" or i would meet someone and they would tell me later they immediately felt comfortable. This really broke it down for me and helped me understand what I do. I am the type of person to toss compliments at people, go up to a stranger to say they look like a celebrity (i do this very often) or something random to make them smile, and try to, at least once a day, verbalize how much the people I'm close to matter to me. Sometimes in a small speech about how much I love them and appreciate them, other times just a quick "thanks for being there for me, man." I love the feeling that I'm helping people around me. I love knowing someone smiled for just a few seconds after walking by me because I said i loved their new hairstyle or their outfit looks especially good. I love knowing people feel like they can trust me without any fear I'll break it. I love to love. Thank you.
You sound like such a genuine and amazing person. I feel like I love you already just reading this! 😂 And not because I am ‘craving’ the validation in some way, but because people who bring positivity and love into the world, I just love them. I feel the same way. I like to give random people compliments and make their day. Not to get anything back from it, though I must admit seeing them smile or be happy because of it makes me more happy :)❤
Always felt like this. When i read the book How to Win friends and influence people, most of the book already felt natural and intuitive. People don’t understand this is the key to getting anything you want in this world, but you don’t do it to gain, you do it because it feels right (being a genuine and loving human that is)
Hey Lewis! My name's Ian. A while ago I came into the gym u used to work at and wanted to say thanks for being really nice to talk to! Best wishes for your RUclips channel Ur content is really helpful!
Ian, how could I possibly forget you! The mature young man, hustling with homework, gym and always about his business. It's great to hear from you mate. How did you find the channel? I hope you're doing well and maintaining your hustle with much deserved relaxation ;)
@@jamessmithson-br7rm Lewis *worked AT* the gym, and was apparently a friendly staff member. I’d throw myself out of any gym where the staff didn’t talk to me. ;)
To each their own, James. If I can't chat a bit at the gym, I don't want to come there. For me, it's also a time to socialize a little. If you don't like it, don't talk to people
I have a mate that loves it as well. Bathes in it like it’s glorious sunshine and works towards it like its the ultimate conversational goal. It has made me appreciate silence in a different way and not feel as awkward with it sometimes 🤣
What's funny is that in my adult life I've found these conversations easy to start and get into. My mindset is basically that it won't matter if that girl doesn't like me or will continue talking to me, she doesn't know me so the "me" that's rejected is just what she thinks is "me". Quite frankly I've had a lot of success with people doing this. It helps that I'm naturally friendly, curious, social, and interested in what they have to say.
Interestingly enough, you can also use mirrored reciprocation to better negotiate/avoid conflict. For example, if someone says something, anything really, you mirror their response back at them. Person: "I'm so frustrated with your department" You: "You're frustrated with the sales department?" Person: "Yeah, our VP of project management is telling us to try and align with with the expectations your department is setting for the clients. And those expectations are unrealistic for us to fulfill." Next, you never ask a "why" question. "Why" questions make people inherently defensive because they sound accusatory. Instead, ask a "what" question... You: "What makes you frustrated specifically?" Person: "Well this employee of yours promised this (goes into detail about an unrealistic expectation that was set)". You: "Ah, well if they had attended that enablement workshop from last week, they should know better. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I'll correct their course!" Issue resolved in a mostly non-confrontational confrontation, all because you mirrored their frustrations and gave them an opportunity to elaborate without making them feel the need to be defensive.
Ah man this made me happy! It seems you've been reading some Chris Voss (or perhaps not). Your knowledge of communication is awesome. Thanks for sharing this.
@@NewelOfKnowledge "Never Split the Difference" changed my life, yessir! Right back at you! I watched this video, and was like, "I know exactly what he's talking about!" That dog example was a chef's kiss 🧑🍳
Great comment! As a counsellor, this is one of the first basic things you learn - WHY is often interpreted as an accusation so people get defensive, hence we ask WHAT or HOW if we want to help them express themselves and open up. It's a great basic communication technique and helps people feel heard and valued.
Hey, mate! A similar situation happened to me today when I was in the elevator and this pretty girl entered it. I managed to find her during lunch time and we started talking. Well, we gonna go out for a walk tomorrow, since she’s new in the city. Cheers from Brasil, mate! All of the best
I saw my crush everyday in the gym and sometimes in the elevator... And I didn't even say "hi" Neither did she. But I always caught her gazing at me or doing drive-bys, doing the hair flick or whatever girls do... Last month I just saw her getting engaged to the biggest Deckhead dude in my same gym session. And it absolutely SHOCKED me.
I have been through this in the lift , almost everyday in the gym Mostly with women , men are absolute bros anytime. But women are extremely guarded everywhere
Ive listened to alot of these kinds of videos, but ive never come across the "give them something to solve" idea. Thats a very easy way to start a fun interaction. Thanks man!
So I like making origami birds. I make them in subway, in cafés, in many a place. And I Love giving them out to random people everywhere. And, turns out, I've been following your point about giving people smth to solve for a long time now, without thinking about it. Because usually I'll come up to a person and be like "Hey, what color do you like?" And give them a choice of the colors of birds I have prepared. And here you go - a conversation has sparkled! If the person wants it, of course. And these little guys sometimes just do wonders - people start smiling, laughing, and you basically become friends with them instantly. It's so lovely. Of course some people refuse to take a bird or just take it without much emotion, and I respect that. But, for the latter, I still hope they get some warmth out of it
Because you get what you give. In all the friendships I had, I noticed that when you give from your soul without expecting a payback, you get nicely rewarded.
This is good advice. My stepdad was a master at this. He struck up conversations everywhere. If he had to queue up for something you can guarantee he would start chats to the people. around him, and people responded so positively to him. He made so many friends.
@@fflxres It's very simple if you are sharing an elevator with someone, just make an opening comment. If you are at a party join a conversation, where every you see an opportunity don't wait, you start the conversation with anyone, its' practice. If you meet a stranger say good morning, try and be funny, kind or light hearted. I live in Thailand so I imagine it would be harder to do this living in a city where people are more guarded. I should of said most people in my original comment, use your discretion.
@@anttif. Yes if you do this over years, you will find it easier to approach and talk to anyone. Sometimes you need to challenge yourself. Just go with no agenda other than to practice starting conversation. Just talk with anyone don't save yourself for certain people, make it a habit. It's really helpful so that when you have to speak for business or to someone you would like to get to know it makes it far less daunting.
I'm probably the only socially adept person in the world who finds it absolutely non-awkward and natural to just stay silently next to a random person for a prolonged period of time. There's no need to have a conversation or a small talk if you don't feel like it. No need to awkwardly lower your sight or look around, or look in your phone even if you don't need to just to look busy. Just wear a confident face expression, slightly smiling, lean onto the wall and look straight. You don't have to apologize or feel awkward just because you HAD to be in this elevator with a stranger. There, in fact, very little situations in life where you HAVE to feel awkward. In most cases, you CHOOSE to feel awkward. Just remember that. Also, 4:13 -- That number is SIGNIFICANTLY understated. I don't think the author of the video followed his advice in real life, because most conversation starters he mentioned would be considered cringe in real world.
"Did you see that ludicrous display last night ?" :) O course, you can always complain about the weather, if you really HAVE to start a conversation, for some reason.
Peter's insight on mirrored reciprocation is a powerful reminder that the energy we emit is often the energy we receive. Starting with a positive, caring attitude can transform our interactions and bring about mutual respect and love. 🔄
I live in France and have nearly lost all motivation to talk to the natives here, especially strangers, despite getting a grasp on the language. Consequently when I go back to the UK I really notice, and appreciate, the openness of Brits, and the ease with which strangers make banter with you and are intimate. It's what I miss the most😭 Loving your engaging, informative, and funny videos btw, they should be on the school syllabus😃
This video is the story of my life. Always the social one and if someone isn't into it "good talk" and move on bc your vibe attracts your tribe and the receptive ones are our tribe. Cheers brother!
Short, simple, but to the point and delivers critical information. Great video! Now i need to stop procrastinating and actually start to be the 2% who initiate conversations
I'm in the highest difficulty then since i live in France and people here are generally a bit closed/shy, always in a rush, never smile, it is quite sad actually but still I try to engage and some people are quite wonderful like a sunshine after the storm. I believe that ram dass said that you should treat your relationships like a meditation, you discover yourself while discovering another human being, you have to be open and without judgement whatsoever to truly know someone in all their shades. ❤
Yeah good luck with that in Scandinavia. Here it' like 80% reject your positivity and 20% wanna talk to you, where out of those 20% only 5% end in good conversations with strangers.
Sounds like a great place. Funnily enough, the most fun people I met in university were Scandinavians. I dated a Norwegian girl and she was really fun, too. Of course, huge amounts of alcohol were involved :)
What helped me a lot where two things. 1. Try to understand the fear or anxiety you have towards talking to strangers. For me it was important to understand what hold me back from doin it to understand, that there is really nothing to worrie about and nothing to Lose. 2. To understand, that talking and not talking are equally good. You dont have to talk. But if you feel like it, Just Do it. Takes the pressure out of it. 3. Be authentic. Ask things you really find interessting. Talk about stuff thats really funny/interessting/deep/meaningfull to you. The third Was a Bonus :)
When you got to the part about giving people what they don’t have, I actually paused the video and went “oh shit!” I immediately thought of a ton of instances recently where my (charismatic) friends have made me feel better and it’s when they did exactly that for me. Great video mate, thank you !
Keep making these videos. I subbed a couple weeks back, it’s kinda shocking to find such an intelligent person with such a small RUclips following and yet this high production quality and dedication
I find myself doing this every time I visit the UK, it's so refreshing to be surrounded by native english speakers who generally enjoy the chat. For reference, I live in France and while my conversational French is "pas mal" - it's fun to use the full depth of your vocabulary to express an interest in others. I've met some very unique people and had some very peculiar conversations. Love the channel, just signed up to the newsletter.
What’s also important is feeling ok being on yourself. It results in a confidence social interaction rather than a desperate one. If you’re not content with who you are alone, you’re probably not content with who you are with others either, and people pick up on that energy
Lewis! You’re a captivating speaker brother. Great videos on this channel. A HINT for others who want to have better conversations with people they sort of know (someone at the gym you maybe wave or nod to and so on) I always after saying hello and asking how they are will run that sentence and say what are you excited about. “hey how are you today (the slightest pause) what’s exciting today” either we talk about a thing in the gym they are excited about or I’ll hear about something in life and the conversation can just FLOW cause someone is talking about what they are excited about. Which you can do anywhere in life.
Matt, all I can say is thank you. Not only for your comment but for the solid conversation starter of "what's exciting today?" I absolutely love it and I'm going to use it from now on. Another one similar to that is "what do you love most about your work?". Keep up the good work mate!
Thank you for putting such a great message in such a short video, loved it. There's nothing to be afraid of, especially if it's casual communication. A few days ago, a girl from my university needed help with her survey for her senior thesis, and without even noticing it, instead of silently filling out this survey, I asked her a few questions, and we had a pleasant 5-minute talk :)
It's true most people are waiting for you to start conversations. I bear that in mind when I do so. Still getting nervous when I do it, but I think it pays off!
I really can't relate to the "awkward silence problem" with complete strangers. Most of the time I don't speak to strangers because I'm just not interested in them, their opinion or stories. I even try to get rid of people who force you into an conversation in such moments, which, to be honest, I find way more awkward than just minding your own business. Not everyone needs your attention. Not everyone is flirty 24/7. Not every person you meet wants to get to know you. At least I don't.
Be wonderfully weird. Be awkward. Don't be afraid to look silly infront of a stranger. The moment you teach yourself to be able to do this, is the moment you'll learn how to be comfortable being yourself and starting conversations. Because people are wonderfully weird. First conversations are awkward. And humans are a silly bunch. Learn to be comfortable being human. Learn to be comfortable with making mistakes and being flawed.
I've just come across your channel. You come across as just such a lovely lovely chap. Wishing you all the very best in what I hope will be an exciting, interesting, happy and fulfilling life. What an uplifting experience listening to you. Thank you.
honestly, this is superb advice. when you begin to try to lift peoples' day up just a little with a genuine smile and a good will for them, that does reverb back either quite soon or eventually. that can definitely work in all sorts of aspects like starting a conversation to help people let go of some steam or other things alike.
My personal issue is that I can start a conversation no issue, I just can't continue it. I do pay attention to what the other person is telling me, but I just can't figure out what to say after a response. Only after we both go our way I think to myself 'aw man, I could have said X or I could have asked Y.' How can I think of something to say after a response while still paying attention to what the other person is telling me, without having a major pause inbetween?
"Those who see all creatures in themselves and themselves in all creatures know no fear" - Isha Upanishad Man that is a deep quote. Gave me some lsd flashbacks haha. Thank you for the video. I was able to find the quote again watching video at 2x. Totally didn't remember it was at end. Gonna sub!
Same bro 😂😂. But I just put into my mind that it doesn't matter if I'm thought of a fool... I already accept I am. That freed me from social anxiety lol
You are one of the best creator on RUclips I had the pleasure of watching. The way you speak, how authentic you seem, short enough and funny enough; bravo Sir! I love your style, keep up the good work 😊
Honestly I just want to be left alone 99% of the time if I am in a public setting, would be annoying if random people were trying to smalltalk constantly, but I appreciate your thoughts :-)
Some notes if anybody wants them: 1. Initiate the conversation first, be positive (positive people are much more pleasant to converse with) and be constant (continue to be positive and friendly). 2. You have to put in what you want to receive, in other words, be friendly and others should be friendly with you. 3. Give people something to solve 1. Notice something in the environment. 2. Bring it to their attention. 3. Discuss it
5:45 I mean i can talk to people but sometimes after the question it's just ends and i feel the akward silence, i don't know what to do to make the conversation last longer or what to talk about after the question ended :/
The first time I visited Denmark, for more than a decade ago, I said Hello to everyone at the bus station. Everyone seemed either shy or surprised and no one responded back . I felt so awkward and stopped saying hello from that day on 😅. Until I met an old lady who said Hello and had the hugest smile ever (unexpectedly) 😄
This was a hard watch. I don't want people to start conversations around me. I don't want to be involved in some nonsensical small talk between strangers. And I certainly wouldn't want to put other people into a conversation they would rather not be in which they are just involving themselves in as to not seem rude.
I feel the same way (but am trying to grow), something that works for me is using one-word responses and limited eye contact to signal that I don't want to talk
I apprroah people alot, but a problem i find is that, if u live in a society and u have met everyone in s cheerful way, they expect you to always be like that, whenevrr you go out, u have to put up a face, because now everyone knows you, when i walk around in my community most people smile and wave at me, and say hey, but sometimes i just want to be left alone, sometimes im too tierd for human interaction in any shape or form, but because i have already had conversations with them in some way they all know me. And now i cant escape that whenever i go out. There is beauty in being left alone too, the problem is that we dont really get a choice.
Nah, i think... you should be yourself. It's definitely not weird if someone changes their emotion, everyone does that, everyday. And, if they want you to always be the same, well... they are weird. I mean like, what's the worst thing if you change ur characteristic? The minimal thing, is for them to ask "what's wrong?", and better, they understand your situation and they exude their empathy and respect you. So, the point is, just be yourself :] Both being alone and not alone has both upside and downside, so, "nothing stays the same". And that alone, is also the beauty, get it? yeah no, idk what im saying. have a gr8 day
Wow i’m so glad someone else understands this feeling ! I often think there’s something wrong with me because yeah somedays i wanna be talkative and interact with the community but like you said there’s also days that i just wanna fit into the crowd like i’m no one ….and so i have to go to lengths of avoiding …like going to a different grocery store rather than the one 3 minutes from my home
I totally understand but...just don't, don't give in to that expectation it's unrealistic, unfair and kind of stupid - hit them with your range of emotions and they're just gonna have to get used to it or keep it pushing :D
This video has given me so much clarity and confidence that I've been looking for recently. I really want to spark conversation, have light hearted experiences with strangers and brighten others days but I've struggled with the answer. Thank you for this video, I'm ready to GO FIRST GO POSITIVE AND BE CONSTANT.
I'm lucky I never fall witness to an "awkward silence." I literally never feel awkward or shy, but the downside is my emotions remain as they are at all times.
Man, if somebody tries to talk to me on an elevator, I'm getting off IMMEDIATELY. Senseless small talk in a cramped space for a short time that nobody asked for is whats awkward, not the silence.
This was genuinely one of the best videos Ive seen in the past months on youtube. Charming, funny but still concise, you deserve more subscribers. I'll start. Subscribed.
@@SderE916 i do and i do that on purpose i always try to be the good person do things that i dont liek listen to stories that i dont give a shit about and things like that
0:01 If you're stood in a packed elevator with 5 other people with enough personal space between all of you, that's going to be the biggest elevator in the world. I think all elevators barely have enough personal space for 1 person. 20 seconds later, you're probably going to reach a floor where one of you wants to exit or another wants to enter it at the next floor.
Hello two things 1. The core statement would be be like a dog that greets humans happily , so that you get their attention 2. I personally go bouldering quite often and thats also almost the only situation where i feel comfortable taling to strangers , and its literally your tip . You have a boulder problem , like a move on the wall and yousolve it together with the other person . Great video
I wish the skills of community organizers were valued enough to be presented in spaces like these. We are masters in this- able to gather the masses even before digital technology.
No, what you described has never happened. Nobody wants to talk in the lift mate. Don’t be that weird person who tries to start a conversation. Sometimes silence is just fine.
Really liked the video. Great insights on how to start talking to strangers. I think one really important step here that was not mentioned is forgetting about the past. Especially with the part "you get what you give". Maybe im a doomer, but I really feel like I put in the hard work, the social skills, got myself out there only to be greeted with negative experiences/outcomes. Its made me lose my soul and be cynical, like as if approaching people is just not worth the effort. Thats not true, there are great people to meet, you just got to let go of the past and keep going forward.
Brother, to have experienced rejection and yet still believe there are good people out there is something to behold in itself. Great mentality. That will serve you well. All the best sir!
This is so close to the truth. I’m a Christian so my moral standards are different from the worlds but we believe you should seek to give to others without expecting something in return. We seek to learn to lessen ourselves to help others and ultimately elevate Gods loving and servant character through ourselves. True satisfaction comes from that. From putting others first and loving them because Jesus Christ first loved you. To the point of death, death on a cross
Knowledgeable and funny, this man is truly good with communication. An important thing we want to add (for anyone who's looking to apply the amazing tips in this video in face to face conversations or online interaction), small talk can be a good way for you to start a conversation (as was explained by this dude in the vid) it is easy to dismiss it as a convo ender, but mastering them will help you start many conversations. Amazing video!
Great video! Just last night I was having a swim at my gym after a workout, it was very quiet, but there was a pretty girl who was obviously teaching herself to swim. I hesitated, but then just decided to start a conversion by asking the obvious and asking what she was struggling with. She was immediately attentive and open to conversation, glad of what little help I could offer! Turns out she was a bit young for me and already had a boyfriend.. but nonetheless it was an enjoyable interaction that lasted some 30mins. Been buzzing about it for the whole of today.. and to think I could have so easily not bothered to say anything to her.
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
1 month later, allow me to clarify some things...
The main counter-arguments to this video in the comments are:
- "I couldn't think of anything worse than someone trying to talk to me all the time, let alone start a conversation with me in an elevator! Plus there's not a one-size fits all approach to socialising! Anyway, who cares?"
So here's my response:
- To interpret this video as "this guy is just saying we should ALWAYS avoid silence" is missing the point.
- Silence is sometimes necessary if what you're after is a sane mind.
- The example of the elevator was an example (emphasis on the word "example"). I used it to illustrate any scenario you might find yourself in where you might want (key words "might want") to spark up a conversation with someone.
- However, if you're an unsociable fellow who prefers his own company to some random British man with a moustache trying to talk to you about god knows what in the hopes of having a lively conversation, that's fine. Knock yourself out with your solitude.
- But for those of you who do want to occasionally speak to strangers and improve your approachability, I made this video for you.
Regardless of what camp you fall into,
Thanks for watching.
Lewis
Great video, saw it the first time you uploaded.
Anyway, LOVE your content, dude.
Also, I joined your Discord and emailed you looking for ways to aid you on your journey. Let me know!
@@maddscientist82 Thanks brother! And sounds good.
Yo I love your vest, is it tailored or just store bought?
@4D-Weather_Man thanks brother! I bought it from a small independent tailors - it’s a hand made Portuguese tweed suit - not sure on the brand
We all can say it, but if you really feel the need for this ban we will support you.
The oldest trick I've learned is treat every stranger like an old friend from high school. Absolutely works wonders and immediately breaks the tension.
This is the key! That technique helped me to make lots of new friends lately
isnt that how every guy treats each other if they are not in work
@@a21123 the universal bro code
what if you had no friends in high school
@@mikec2845touche
For those who are curious, elevator walls have mirrors to help remedy the claustrophobic nature of them. Mirrors seemingly make a room visually larger
WE HAVE THE ANSWER!
It's also supposed to reduce the risk of people vandalizing the elevator because "studies show" (a.k.a. I think I've read somewhere) that people are less likely to mess stuff up if they feel observed, even if it's just by their own reflection. Or maybe especially if it's by their own reflection.
its to give people something to look at so they don't complain about the elevator being slow
So it's not there to look at yourself before that meeting or smth
Never thought of that! It's always just fun to look at yourself in them
moral of the story: choose stairs
Thank you... I needed this comment
I literally died laughing at this my wife thought I was choking in the other room
@@joshholmes322
😂
😂
this _USE_ to be right. Now its def. isnt.
First 15 minutes after arriving in the US for the first time, a woman got in the busy elevator and faced everybody instead of the door and was just talking at everybody.
As a Brit, I've still not recovered from this.
😂
You never went to an elevator again, right? Just imagine the same torture happening again 😬
You're not a Brit.
It's a lift. 😄
@@magyarbondi maybe they stayed quite a while in the US and picked up the American term.
was about to say the same. As a german. ... why is there always the need to talk? people can just be quiet for 2 minute in the elevator 😀 In the US it wont stay silent for a second from my experience, but I dont mind either.
Finally realized I have to go bald before I can talk to people ty
shit, forgot to mention this!
@@NewelOfKnowledge noted..
@@NewelOfKnowledge policeman,firefighter,doctor.
@@NewelOfKnowledgeyeah then you have a conversation started everywhere you go😂 “Hey Hey miss/Mr have you seen my hair? It seems to have grown legs and jumped off my head!
He hasn’t went bald, he’s shaved his head 🤣
Silence doesn’t have to be awkward. Silence just is
Sounds like a cope, friend.
@@JoeyG-o8r you never had enjoyable silence with someone you are close to?
@@blaz1641 that's not the kind of silence being discussed here. Of course, that is not awkward.
@@blaz1641 Sure, I guess. That's not what the video is about though, this video is about connecting with the people around you. You can't do that through silence unless you are already very close to them.
@@JoeyG-o8r Yes but what if it's clear the people in question have no intention of connecting and only speak because of the implied cultural pressure, the forced conversation that arises is always more awkward than the silence that should have been
I don't like to make conversation in a place where it is liable to be cut short permanently. What is awkward is people's intolerance of quiet.
Fair point.
That's good! Make it part of the 'taking in your environment' exercise, but careful not to use it as a cop out either.
Even if we only spoke for ten seconds, that's enough to make someone feel noticed, heard and, as a corollary, special. It's actually enought time to make a first impression.
Perhaps a change of objective might enhance your experience(s). So, spread some cheer! Well, if that becomes your objective, tight time horizons will only motivate you to be more creative/ witty. 👌
you meant to say prematurely instead of permanently, right?
hard agree though, i would not try to start a conversation in an elevator when we'd part ways before i could reply to my partner in a proper manner. but that is fine and ok. we don't have to talk all the time.
yet you had to say something now
theres always the option when you dont end the conversation and just keep talking... but i get it, whatever excuse will do.
Considering authenticity is the highest vibrational frequency...... these videos are priceless.
I actually have friends who are masters at this, hence why they're loved by everyone. They are super positive and make you really feel heard and understood. I don't know anyone as energetic, positive and "safe" as them. One day I'll ask them how do they do it, but maybe I already know the answer...
I'm that friend
do they make you feel heard or are they litsening?
'energetic, positive and safe' sounds like me, but I am not a master at the topic of this video since I'm super bad at having conversations
They aren’t loved by everyone. They sound intolerable.
@@vackor They're listening. Idk how they can keep information even after I forgot what I said.
Key points:
- Go first. Break the silence.
- Give what you want to other people. Make other people feel important.
- Give the other person something to solve when you go first. For example:
•Notice something in the enviroment
•Show it to the other person
•Discuss it
And I think the key idea is this: Sacrifice yourself for others.
@@sidmiel9927not at all.
But... why ?
I like it when people shut the f up.
"Go first. Break the silence." I CANT!
I've never fully understood why people trusted me so fast. People would tell me i'm their only "safe place" or i would meet someone and they would tell me later they immediately felt comfortable.
This really broke it down for me and helped me understand what I do.
I am the type of person to toss compliments at people, go up to a stranger to say they look like a celebrity (i do this very often) or something random to make them smile, and try to, at least once a day, verbalize how much the people I'm close to matter to me. Sometimes in a small speech about how much I love them and appreciate them, other times just a quick "thanks for being there for me, man."
I love the feeling that I'm helping people around me. I love knowing someone smiled for just a few seconds after walking by me because I said i loved their new hairstyle or their outfit looks especially good. I love knowing people feel like they can trust me without any fear I'll break it.
I love to love. Thank you.
You sound like such a genuine and amazing person.
I feel like I love you already just reading this! 😂
And not because I am ‘craving’ the validation in some way, but because people who bring positivity and love into the world, I just love them. I feel the same way. I like to give random people compliments and make their day. Not to get anything back from it, though I must admit seeing them smile or be happy because of it makes me more happy :)❤
Always felt like this. When i read the book How to Win friends and influence people, most of the book already felt natural and intuitive.
People don’t understand this is the key to getting anything you want in this world, but you don’t do it to gain, you do it because it feels right (being a genuine and loving human that is)
Some wholesomeness happening right here in this comment thread and I love it.
Honestly, you sound intolerable.
Wow man I was literally smiling throughout reading your whole comment. Imma try to be more like you :)
Hey Lewis! My name's Ian. A while ago I came into the gym u used to work at and wanted to say thanks for being really nice to talk to! Best wishes for your RUclips channel Ur content is really helpful!
Ian, how could I possibly forget you! The mature young man, hustling with homework, gym and always about his business. It's great to hear from you mate. How did you find the channel? I hope you're doing well and maintaining your hustle with much deserved relaxation ;)
Anyone who talks in the gym should be taken out and permantly silenced. I’m there to work out not have a chat.
@@jamessmithson-br7rm Lewis *worked AT* the gym, and was apparently a friendly staff member. I’d throw myself out of any gym where the staff didn’t talk to me. ;)
To each their own, James. If I can't chat a bit at the gym, I don't want to come there. For me, it's also a time to socialize a little. If you don't like it, don't talk to people
@@jamessmithson-br7rm Bro 60% of working out is sitting around doing nothing waiting for your next set... It's not a library...
The lack of conversation about Social Secrets Mastery is probably why social interactions feel like a challenge for so many.
Big help with social skills, totally worth it.
That book was a game changer for social stuff.
Wow, that book really turned things around for me.
Dude, I’m honestly shocked, my social skills improved so much!
Shillers ⚠️⚠️⚠️😂
I relish the moments you guys call "awkward silence". I live for that shit
I have a mate that loves it as well. Bathes in it like it’s glorious sunshine and works towards it like its the ultimate conversational goal.
It has made me appreciate silence in a different way and not feel as awkward with it sometimes 🤣
Why?
dont worry some of us are isolated anti-social hermits like you and thats okay
he's an insane madman. he does not bow to a country or a flag, he does not flinch at torture
Careful not to cut yourself on all that edge, friendo 😅
What's funny is that in my adult life I've found these conversations easy to start and get into. My mindset is basically that it won't matter if that girl doesn't like me or will continue talking to me, she doesn't know me so the "me" that's rejected is just what she thinks is "me". Quite frankly I've had a lot of success with people doing this. It helps that I'm naturally friendly, curious, social, and interested in what they have to say.
Our opinions about others are actually a reflection of our own identities.
@Almanic4ever youre absolutely right
@@Almanic4ever Are you a post Freudian positing the theory of ‘reaction formation?/. (That’s a possible opening question in a lift, perhaps. ;)
Interestingly enough, you can also use mirrored reciprocation to better negotiate/avoid conflict. For example, if someone says something, anything really, you mirror their response back at them.
Person: "I'm so frustrated with your department"
You: "You're frustrated with the sales department?"
Person: "Yeah, our VP of project management is telling us to try and align with with the expectations your department is setting for the clients. And those expectations are unrealistic for us to fulfill."
Next, you never ask a "why" question. "Why" questions make people inherently defensive because they sound accusatory. Instead, ask a "what" question...
You: "What makes you frustrated specifically?"
Person: "Well this employee of yours promised this (goes into detail about an unrealistic expectation that was set)".
You: "Ah, well if they had attended that enablement workshop from last week, they should know better. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I'll correct their course!"
Issue resolved in a mostly non-confrontational confrontation, all because you mirrored their frustrations and gave them an opportunity to elaborate without making them feel the need to be defensive.
Ah man this made me happy! It seems you've been reading some Chris Voss (or perhaps not). Your knowledge of communication is awesome. Thanks for sharing this.
@@NewelOfKnowledge "Never Split the Difference" changed my life, yessir!
Right back at you! I watched this video, and was like, "I know exactly what he's talking about!" That dog example was a chef's kiss 🧑🍳
@@wizcatcheslightning Awesome stuff. Love to hear appreciation for that book. Thanks again sir ;)
Source?
Great comment! As a counsellor, this is one of the first basic things you learn - WHY is often interpreted as an accusation so people get defensive, hence we ask WHAT or HOW if we want to help them express themselves and open up. It's a great basic communication technique and helps people feel heard and valued.
Hey, mate! A similar situation happened to me today when I was in the elevator and this pretty girl entered it. I managed to find her during lunch time and we started talking. Well, we gonna go out for a walk tomorrow, since she’s new in the city. Cheers from Brasil, mate! All of the best
Awesome stuff brother! Glad to hear it. I hope the walk goes well ;) Tell her I said "tudo bem!"
I saw my crush everyday in the gym and sometimes in the elevator... And I didn't even say "hi"
Neither did she. But I always caught her gazing at me or doing drive-bys, doing the hair flick or whatever girls do...
Last month I just saw her getting engaged to the biggest Deckhead dude in my same gym session.
And it absolutely SHOCKED me.
Que homem.
How’s the date been ?
Boa sorte, parceiro! Tomara que dê tudo certo pra ti.
This man right here deserves all the love and attention
Likewise comrade!
remaining silent or not greeting someone when you feel the tension like you should always makes it more awkward in the future.
I have been through this in the lift , almost everyday in the gym
Mostly with women , men are absolute bros anytime.
But women are extremely guarded everywhere
THIS !
Ive listened to alot of these kinds of videos, but ive never come across the "give them something to solve" idea. Thats a very easy way to start a fun interaction. Thanks man!
The fact that nobody talks about the forbidden book Mareska Manipulation on Vexoner speaks volumes about how people are stuck in a trance
Bot
So I like making origami birds. I make them in subway, in cafés, in many a place. And I Love giving them out to random people everywhere. And, turns out, I've been following your point about giving people smth to solve for a long time now, without thinking about it.
Because usually I'll come up to a person and be like "Hey, what color do you like?" And give them a choice of the colors of birds I have prepared. And here you go - a conversation has sparkled! If the person wants it, of course.
And these little guys sometimes just do wonders - people start smiling, laughing, and you basically become friends with them instantly. It's so lovely.
Of course some people refuse to take a bird or just take it without much emotion, and I respect that. But, for the latter, I still hope they get some warmth out of it
That's very nice
Because you get what you give. In all the friendships I had, I noticed that when you give from your soul without expecting a payback, you get nicely rewarded.
You are confused. Friendship and ephemeral small talk are not the same
That's kindness my friend
Absolute gem of a channel you have.
Thank you sir!
that dog conversation had me LOL
I do this all the time, it’s pretty fun. I’m more connected with strangers than my own friends at times.
A scenario like this always reminds me of how few people are actually free in our society, mentally.
Silence need not be awkward. Sometimes silence is just silence.
You can't ask extroverts to understand that. If they stop speaking for a minute they have to think, can you imagine that? THINKING. Insanity!
Two donkeys have gathered
I agree. Whenever I hear someone say that silence is awkward, I feel like "Maybe you're just bad at silence".
This is good advice. My stepdad was a master at this. He struck up conversations everywhere. If he had to queue up for something you can guarantee he would start chats to the people. around him, and people responded so positively to him. He made so many friends.
I'd love to meet him in an elevator
give them something to solve is actually really good advice thanks bro
Long ago I made it an exercise to talk to everyone I meet. If you keep doing this habit it gets very easy to talk to anyone.
what do you mean and how did you do it??
wow, this is interesting, does it really work?
@@fflxres It's very simple if you are sharing an elevator with someone, just make an opening comment. If you are at a party join a conversation, where every you see an opportunity don't wait, you start the conversation with anyone, its' practice. If you meet a stranger say good morning, try and be funny, kind or light hearted. I live in Thailand so I imagine it would be harder to do this living in a city where people are more guarded. I should of said most people in my original comment, use your discretion.
@@anttif. Yes if you do this over years, you will find it easier to approach and talk to anyone. Sometimes you need to challenge yourself. Just go with no agenda other than to practice starting conversation. Just talk with anyone don't save yourself for certain people, make it a habit. It's really helpful so that when you have to speak for business or to someone you would like to get to know it makes it far less daunting.
@@rickclick8359 Thank you for the response, it's motivating.
You are delightful and refreshing. I could listen to you talk for hours.
I'm probably the only socially adept person in the world who finds it absolutely non-awkward and natural to just stay silently next to a random person for a prolonged period of time. There's no need to have a conversation or a small talk if you don't feel like it. No need to awkwardly lower your sight or look around, or look in your phone even if you don't need to just to look busy. Just wear a confident face expression, slightly smiling, lean onto the wall and look straight. You don't have to apologize or feel awkward just because you HAD to be in this elevator with a stranger. There, in fact, very little situations in life where you HAVE to feel awkward. In most cases, you CHOOSE to feel awkward. Just remember that. Also, 4:13 -- That number is SIGNIFICANTLY understated. I don't think the author of the video followed his advice in real life, because most conversation starters he mentioned would be considered cringe in real world.
"Did you see that ludicrous display last night ?" :)
O course, you can always complain about the weather, if you really HAVE to start a conversation, for some reason.
Peter's insight on mirrored reciprocation is a powerful reminder that the energy we emit is often the energy we receive. Starting with a positive, caring attitude can transform our interactions and bring about mutual respect and love. 🔄
I live in France and have nearly lost all motivation to talk to the natives here, especially strangers, despite getting a grasp on the language. Consequently when I go back to the UK I really notice, and appreciate, the openness of Brits, and the ease with which strangers make banter with you and are intimate. It's what I miss the most😭 Loving your engaging, informative, and funny videos btw, they should be on the school syllabus😃
This video is the story of my life. Always the social one and if someone isn't into it "good talk" and move on bc your vibe attracts your tribe and the receptive ones are our tribe. Cheers brother!
Short, simple, but to the point and delivers critical information. Great video! Now i need to stop procrastinating and actually start to be the 2% who initiate conversations
Get straight to it brother!
I'm in the highest difficulty then since i live in France and people here are generally a bit closed/shy, always in a rush, never smile, it is quite sad actually but still I try to engage and some people are quite wonderful like a sunshine after the storm.
I believe that ram dass said that you should treat your relationships like a meditation, you discover yourself while discovering another human being, you have to be open and without judgement whatsoever to truly know someone in all their shades.
❤
6:07 OCTOPUSSIES
that's alot of cats
😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Yeah good luck with that in Scandinavia. Here it' like 80% reject your positivity and 20% wanna talk to you, where out of those 20% only 5% end in good conversations with strangers.
Sounds like a great place. Funnily enough, the most fun people I met in university were Scandinavians. I dated a Norwegian girl and she was really fun, too.
Of course, huge amounts of alcohol were involved :)
"give them something to solve" thats a good one
Starting conversations with even acquaintances, much less strangers, is a mad skill. 💡
What helped me a lot where two things.
1. Try to understand the fear or anxiety you have towards talking to strangers. For me it was important to understand what hold me back from doin it to understand, that there is really nothing to worrie about and nothing to Lose.
2. To understand, that talking and not talking are equally good. You dont have to talk. But if you feel like it, Just Do it. Takes the pressure out of it.
3. Be authentic. Ask things you really find interessting. Talk about stuff thats really funny/interessting/deep/meaningfull to you.
The third Was a Bonus :)
Great stuff! Thanks for sharing :)
When you got to the part about giving people what they don’t have, I actually paused the video and went “oh shit!” I immediately thought of a ton of instances recently where my (charismatic) friends have made me feel better and it’s when they did exactly that for me.
Great video mate, thank you !
Keep making these videos. I subbed a couple weeks back, it’s kinda shocking to find such an intelligent person with such a small RUclips following and yet this high production quality and dedication
Welcome aboard comrade! Thank you for your confidence :)
I find myself doing this every time I visit the UK, it's so refreshing to be surrounded by native english speakers who generally enjoy the chat. For reference, I live in France and while my conversational French is "pas mal" - it's fun to use the full depth of your vocabulary to express an interest in others. I've met some very unique people and had some very peculiar conversations.
Love the channel, just signed up to the newsletter.
5:11 “Sonny innit”
What a perfectly told story! The best I‘ve seen on RUclips for a long time. 👏🏻
What’s also important is feeling ok being on yourself. It results in a confidence social interaction rather than a desperate one. If you’re not content with who you are alone, you’re probably not content with who you are with others either, and people pick up on that energy
Lewis! You’re a captivating speaker brother. Great videos on this channel. A HINT for others who want to have better conversations with people they sort of know (someone at the gym you maybe wave or nod to and so on) I always after saying hello and asking how they are will run that sentence and say what are you excited about. “hey how are you today (the slightest pause) what’s exciting today” either we talk about a thing in the gym they are excited about or I’ll hear about something in life and the conversation can just FLOW cause someone is talking about what they are excited about. Which you can do anywhere in life.
Matt, all I can say is thank you. Not only for your comment but for the solid conversation starter of "what's exciting today?" I absolutely love it and I'm going to use it from now on. Another one similar to that is "what do you love most about your work?". Keep up the good work mate!
6:21 This is another jewel. Thank you so much Newel!
I don't find silence with strangers awkward but I find silence with acquaintances or ppl I know awkward
A stranger responding to you normally is not enough of a situation to turn nonsense like 'you get what you give' into a theory.
Thank you for putting such a great message in such a short video, loved it. There's nothing to be afraid of, especially if it's casual communication. A few days ago, a girl from my university needed help with her survey for her senior thesis, and without even noticing it, instead of silently filling out this survey, I asked her a few questions, and we had a pleasant 5-minute talk :)
Awesome stuff! Good job man. Proud of you. Thank you for the comment :)
It's true most people are waiting for you to start conversations. I bear that in mind when I do so. Still getting nervous when I do it, but I think it pays off!
I really can't relate to the "awkward silence problem" with complete strangers. Most of the time I don't speak to strangers because I'm just not interested in them, their opinion or stories. I even try to get rid of people who force you into an conversation in such moments, which, to be honest, I find way more awkward than just minding your own business. Not everyone needs your attention. Not everyone is flirty 24/7. Not every person you meet wants to get to know you.
At least I don't.
Be wonderfully weird. Be awkward. Don't be afraid to look silly infront of a stranger.
The moment you teach yourself to be able to do this, is the moment you'll learn how to be comfortable being yourself and starting conversations.
Because people are wonderfully weird. First conversations are awkward. And humans are a silly bunch.
Learn to be comfortable being human.
Learn to be comfortable with making mistakes and being flawed.
Your channel came to me as a blessing. Been needing so many things u say
I've just come across your channel. You come across as just such a lovely lovely chap. Wishing you all the very best in what I hope will be an exciting, interesting, happy and fulfilling life. What an uplifting experience listening to you. Thank you.
honestly, this is superb advice. when you begin to try to lift peoples' day up just a little with a genuine smile and a good will for them, that does reverb back either quite soon or eventually. that can definitely work in all sorts of aspects like starting a conversation to help people let go of some steam or other things alike.
My personal issue is that I can start a conversation no issue, I just can't continue it. I do pay attention to what the other person is telling me, but I just can't figure out what to say after a response. Only after we both go our way I think to myself 'aw man, I could have said X or I could have asked Y.' How can I think of something to say after a response while still paying attention to what the other person is telling me, without having a major pause inbetween?
"Those who see all creatures in themselves and themselves in all creatures know no fear" - Isha Upanishad
Man that is a deep quote. Gave me some lsd flashbacks haha. Thank you for the video. I was able to find the quote again watching video at 2x. Totally didn't remember it was at end. Gonna sub!
Welcome sir! I'm glad you liked it :)
I try to start conversations but ppl just ignore my existence💀
Same bro 😂😂. But I just put into my mind that it doesn't matter if I'm thought of a fool... I already accept I am. That freed me from social anxiety lol
😂😂
Basically
Most likely you are not doing it right. Go to 4:45 and see if you do the things he suggests (I know I should too...)
Not everyone responds and that's totally fine. That doesn't make you incompetent.
You are one of the best creator on RUclips I had the pleasure of watching. The way you speak, how authentic you seem, short enough and funny enough; bravo Sir! I love your style, keep up the good work 😊
Honestly I just want to be left alone 99% of the time if I am in a public setting, would be annoying if random people were trying to smalltalk constantly, but I appreciate your thoughts :-)
True. Silence is much appreciated sometimes.
Some notes if anybody wants them:
1. Initiate the conversation first, be positive (positive people are much more pleasant to converse with) and be constant (continue to be positive and friendly).
2. You have to put in what you want to receive, in other words, be friendly and others should be friendly with you.
3. Give people something to solve
1. Notice something in the environment.
2. Bring it to their attention.
3. Discuss it
5:45 I mean i can talk to people but sometimes after the question it's just ends and i feel the akward silence, i don't know what to do to make the conversation last longer or what to talk about after the question ended :/
You have a really nice attitude. Watching this video gave me energy which I’ll now spend something else in the real world :)
The first time I visited Denmark, for more than a decade ago, I said Hello to everyone at the bus station. Everyone seemed either shy or surprised and no one responded back . I felt so awkward and stopped saying hello from that day on 😅. Until I met an old lady who said Hello and had the hugest smile ever (unexpectedly) 😄
This was a hard watch. I don't want people to start conversations around me. I don't want to be involved in some nonsensical small talk between strangers. And I certainly wouldn't want to put other people into a conversation they would rather not be in which they are just involving themselves in as to not seem rude.
:)
I feel the same way (but am trying to grow), something that works for me is using one-word responses and limited eye contact to signal that I don't want to talk
Learning to make convo with strangers led me to the most beautiful conversations
I apprroah people alot, but a problem i find is that, if u live in a society and u have met everyone in s cheerful way, they expect you to always be like that, whenevrr you go out, u have to put up a face, because now everyone knows you, when i walk around in my community most people smile and wave at me, and say hey, but sometimes i just want to be left alone, sometimes im too tierd for human interaction in any shape or form, but because i have already had conversations with them in some way they all know me. And now i cant escape that whenever i go out. There is beauty in being left alone too, the problem is that we dont really get a choice.
Nah, i think... you should be yourself. It's definitely not weird if someone changes their emotion, everyone does that, everyday. And, if they want you to always be the same, well... they are weird. I mean like, what's the worst thing if you change ur characteristic? The minimal thing, is for them to ask "what's wrong?", and better, they understand your situation and they exude their empathy and respect you. So, the point is, just be yourself :] Both being alone and not alone has both upside and downside, so, "nothing stays the same". And that alone, is also the beauty, get it? yeah no, idk what im saying. have a gr8 day
Wow i’m so glad someone else understands this feeling ! I often think there’s something wrong with me because yeah somedays i wanna be talkative and interact with the community but like you said there’s also days that i just wanna fit into the crowd like i’m no one ….and so i have to go to lengths of avoiding …like going to a different grocery store rather than the one 3 minutes from my home
I totally understand but...just don't, don't give in to that expectation it's unrealistic, unfair and kind of stupid - hit them with your range of emotions and they're just gonna have to get used to it or keep it pushing :D
I love how you talk.
Also and more, your mindset.
Why no one pointed out this man's fabulous mustache
This video has given me so much clarity and confidence that I've been looking for recently. I really want to spark conversation, have light hearted experiences with strangers and brighten others days but I've struggled with the answer. Thank you for this video, I'm ready to GO FIRST GO POSITIVE AND BE CONSTANT.
why does this guy look like a character from witcher 3 ???
I treat strangers like my old friend i haven't seen in ages, works most the time if the stranger isn't negative in general
I'm lucky I never fall witness to an "awkward silence." I literally never feel awkward or shy, but the downside is my emotions remain as they are at all times.
Man, if somebody tries to talk to me on an elevator, I'm getting off IMMEDIATELY. Senseless small talk in a cramped space for a short time that nobody asked for is whats awkward, not the silence.
This was genuinely one of the best videos Ive seen in the past months on youtube. Charming, funny but still concise, you deserve more subscribers. I'll start. Subscribed.
4:04 i dont think im getting what im giving and thats what bothers me sometimes
What you think doesn’t represent the reality, it’s more likely that you’re overestimating your output
@@SderE916 i do and i do that on purpose i always try to be the good person do things that i dont liek
listen to stories that i dont give a shit about and things like that
Maybe u surrounded by wrong ppl
Interesting! Loved the insights
0:01 If you're stood in a packed elevator with 5 other people with enough personal space between all of you, that's going to be the biggest elevator in the world. I think all elevators barely have enough personal space for 1 person. 20 seconds later, you're probably going to reach a floor where one of you wants to exit or another wants to enter it at the next floor.
Besides the point
Okay buddy
I gave others feeling of being cared for, loved and respected, got called a nice guy and left alone.
:)
If only people knew how to remain silent in presence of other people.. so I don't have to listen to their bs😂
I'm not in the college - or uni in my case - anymore but I feel called out by that example with a crush!
not the rizz tag
Hello two things
1. The core statement would be be like a dog that greets humans happily , so that you get their attention
2. I personally go bouldering quite often and thats also almost the only situation where i feel comfortable taling to strangers , and its literally your tip . You have a boulder problem , like a move on the wall and yousolve it together with the other person .
Great video
I've always hated that somehow silence is awkward. Don't make conversation, the quiet is nice, thanks.
I wish the skills of community organizers were valued enough to be presented in spaces like these. We are masters in this- able to gather the masses even before digital technology.
No, what you described has never happened. Nobody wants to talk in the lift mate. Don’t be that weird person who tries to start a conversation. Sometimes silence is just fine.
Really liked the video. Great insights on how to start talking to strangers.
I think one really important step here that was not mentioned is forgetting about the past. Especially with the part "you get what you give". Maybe im a doomer, but I really feel like I put in the hard work, the social skills, got myself out there only to be greeted with negative experiences/outcomes. Its made me lose my soul and be cynical, like as if approaching people is just not worth the effort. Thats not true, there are great people to meet, you just got to let go of the past and keep going forward.
Brother, to have experienced rejection and yet still believe there are good people out there is something to behold in itself. Great mentality. That will serve you well. All the best sir!
This is so close to the truth. I’m a Christian so my moral standards are different from the worlds but we believe you should seek to give to others without expecting something in return. We seek to learn to lessen ourselves to help others and ultimately elevate Gods loving and servant character through ourselves. True satisfaction comes from that. From putting others first and loving them because Jesus Christ first loved you. To the point of death, death on a cross
Knowledgeable and funny, this man is truly good with communication. An important thing we want to add (for anyone who's looking to apply the amazing tips in this video in face to face conversations or online interaction), small talk can be a good way for you to start a conversation (as was explained by this dude in the vid) it is easy to dismiss it as a convo ender, but mastering them will help you start many conversations. Amazing video!
Great video!
Just last night I was having a swim at my gym after a workout, it was very quiet, but there was a pretty girl who was obviously teaching herself to swim. I hesitated, but then just decided to start a conversion by asking the obvious and asking what she was struggling with. She was immediately attentive and open to conversation, glad of what little help I could offer! Turns out she was a bit young for me and already had a boyfriend.. but nonetheless it was an enjoyable interaction that lasted some 30mins. Been buzzing about it for the whole of today.. and to think I could have so easily not bothered to say anything to her.
DUDE. PROUD OF YOU! THIS IS AWESOME.
I don't feel awkward not talking to anybody in an elevator. But still this helps, as I am often on business events alone, knowing nobody.
Continue spreading love brother, God bless you
I love the inclusion of the Upanishad at the end 🙏
You’re such a legend man 🔥🔥