Jazaka-Allah khairan for this video. Polygyny is not an issue to us in Africa. In my culture, polygamy is highly encouraged where necessary, and women are trained to accept polygyny as a norm. It amazes why polygamy is frowned at in the West and some parts of the Middle East. I was born into a polygamous family living in the same compound with other families, and wallahi it was very fulfilling growing in such a loving family set setting.
Please note that polygyny is different than polygamy, polygamy is a wife or husband having multiple spouses . Polygyny is husband ONLY multiple wives. Polygamy is partially haram.
I was in a polygamous marriage, but our marriage deteriorated because my ex husband could not afford to keep us both. I had to work and pay part of rent and and food whilst I had a small child. A woman will quickly lose respect for her husband and develop contempt if they do not fulfill their responsibilities and display lack of quality decision making. If men want to be respected as leaders, they need to start making responsible decisions too. I can't see for the life of me why enough imams are not talking about this. Why are imams not discouraging men from remarrying if they can't afford it?
I see so many men getting married whilst their wives seek welfare or state benefits. Why is this not being spoken up against in our Muslim communities? It's like a blind eye has been turned against this even though it's ruining marriages. Would love to know your thoughts on this brother Gabriel.
@Don Che close to 6 figs is good enough, I grow up in single worker minimum wage household, of i didn't get everything I wanted but it wasn't terrible. But yea I agree men really need to look at their income before thinking about polygamy
People think they were born ready to marry 4 wives, but you need to be a real man and not someone who can't afford to look after his family. You need to have the money and make sure that you would be capable of making both your wives happy, and take care of them like our prophet(PBUH) did. If marring 1 wife is stressful, having 2 is as twice stressful. So don't just chase your desires because you imagined sitting in a sofa with 2 wives lol, be a man, be serious, or else you're gonna ruin someone's life.
@@OsadeTOOT True. But most men who take this step only realise this once the noveltys worn off. And by then there's a kid or two in the mix. Damage has been done; marriages have been torn apart. Wish more imams spoke up about this more in our communities. I dont understand why it isnt addressed so much. Its like the right to marry is stressed above the woman's rights to be provided for.
I have a question ? Does the husband only have to pay for 2 homes in order to have 2 wives , when one of his wives may be doctor and she lives independently on her means ? I agree finances is good , but a lot of sisters are becoming career women and he supported her to succeed no he takes another wife how does she now say you have to take care of my totally and she’s making more than him She wanted to go to work to have her own money before the second wife !
Polygamy does not fix men with perverse ideas or cheaters, I don't understand why men keep saying that, most of these men who do this don't even have enough money, so he'll get another wife and then get bored again and go back to their old habits, they have a sickness in their heart polygyny is not the solution. Practice polygyny but can you afford it? Can you handle female emotions? Can you manage being fair and taking care of their children because children are involved. It's a family unit not just some frivolous fun, it's a responsibility. Believe it or not men even prefer the haram because it doesn't involve responsibility.
There are more men than women worldwide so ploygyny is not a system that cam work ' it affords done men too many women while some brothers would not be able to pair cause some brothers have more than one . There are 105 boys born to every 100 girls. It's about time discussions about poluguny take this fact into consideration - There are not enough women for some men to decide they want more than one wife without depriving other men .
@@bimbobello8067 yes and how many of them are gay? Plus how many of these women sre gay, we're talking about the muslim demographic, and women do outnumber.
@@Onajourney519 so there are more gay Muslim men then Gay Muslim women???islamic demographics…which countries WRONGLY kill or abort girls because of preference for boys… the so called Muslim ones. You’re not being honest.
In 2020, male to female ratio for Pakistan was . Between 1950 and 2020, male to female ratio of Pakistan was declining at a moderating rate to shrink from 119.79 males per 100 females in 1950 to 106.02 males per 100 females in 2020. In 2020, male to female ratio for Saudi Arabia was . Male to female ratio of Saudi Arabia increased from 103.06 males per 100 females in 1950 to 137.11 males per 100 females in 2020 growing at an average annual rate of 2.11%. In 2020, male to female ratio for Nigeria was . Male to female ratio of Nigeria increased from 99.54 males per 100 females in 1950 to 102.75 males per 100 females in 2020 growing at an average annual rate of 0.23%.
@@bimbobello8067 even though there are more men than women in the world today, women do not want the atleast bottom 20 to 30% of men in terms of height and socioeconomic standards (especially this). This leaves other men especially men at the top 10% with more options than they can count. It is estimated in the past in many civilisation less than 30% men actually had intercourse with 90+% of women because of this same reason.
@Black Roses meaning he didn't learnt his lesson right hahahahaha or just has a sexual problem women around such creatures should be careful because all he thinks of is sex the moment he looks at any woman.
@Black Roses meaning gives advices on how to get divorces or how to use your wife for sex and dispose off like a tissue paper wowwww prophet saw is so proud of this horny alpha muslim man Mashaall-h
Remember knowledge is experience as well , we as Muslims are people of knowledge and let’s be real polygamy is hard work , I’m married for 30 years of one wife and it’s hard but good , so imagine 2 but don’t deny the strong men out there who are capable of it or who need it , cause you maybe a coward or weak or islamically not good , also most don’t need the roles of the husband and wife. Marriage is easy when roles aren’t confused period and when trust is built and when the attachment to Allah is greater than to each other
I personally have witnessed injustice though with polygynous marriage. I agree with what you said, at least the theoric part. However in practice it's quite hard. Let's face it: who has $3,000-$5,000 per month for EACH FAMILY to live a comfortable, not even luxurious life? Living in Toronto, you know that the cost of rent doesn't go below $1,800 for a 3 bedroom. Then consider Islamic schools where you'll send your children, they're usually around $350 a month. Or are we going to send out kids to public school so that they learn LGBTQ endoctrination so that we can satisfy or shahawats? Even if you could afford it, do you have time for both wives or are you working 50h + a week only so that you can satisfy your desires? How then do you do hijrah? How will you take two families? You're basically signing your fate to stay in Daar al kufr. I'm not saying it's impossible, but there are definitely challenges with this. If scholars have allowed the use of contraceptives in order to provide a better Islamic education to our children, I think polygamy is no exception. As you said, maybe EXPERIENCED khutab should educate people about this issue, as it is very different in our time than it was a the time of the prophet عليه الصلاة و السلام
Agreed. It really isn’t feasible in any major city in the west, at least. The cost of living here is entirely too high. If your wives have to work to help you support the household, and if your kids never see you because you are always working, then you haven’t fulfilled the criteria of being *ABLE* to take a second, third, or fourth wife and treat them all justly.
Why is this being pushed like all Muslim men should be practicing polygyny or else they’re not real men? At the end of the day it was a practice that already existed before Islam and the Quran came to regulate it with the explicit criteria of fairness and that if you can’t be fair don’t try it. Simple. Now this lecture sounds like you’re saying ‘guys you’ll never be fair, the old wife just has to deal with it, your needs and desires are ultimate so just go get yourself a new wife’. How is that promoting a harmonious and loving marital relation? we need to live for ahkhira not dunya so trying to invite issues in your life because you can’t control your desires for just your wife is living for dunya. Also if your wife doesn’t do it for you anymore and she doesn’t want to be in multi-wife let her go in peace. Fair enough to those who are fine in a polygynous marriage, do whatever is within Deen and doesn’t abuse another person.
@@JahannamHellfire okay so you would have put rasoolullah in the hospital if he approached you to be his second wife? if allah has made it halal how can you possibly object to it, not only are you objecting but threatening people who follow sunnah. there's a reason its allowed. one reason is hypergamy, first solve that before having an objection with islam
Allah said: (2:256) famously declares "There is no compulsion (forcing) in religion... You take about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on mondays and Thursdays, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 Rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjud is a sunnah. The only sunnah they remember is to marry 4 wives... as Muslims we must fear Allah swt and not change the deen to suit our needs, unless we want Allah punishment to come upon us, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then one [marry only] from Quran... And you will never be able to be equal just between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From quran from Quran... Allah said Verily, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and he forbids immorality and bad conduct and transgression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded. Surat An-Nahl 16:90 And Allah says O you who believe, be persistently standing firm for Allah as witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just, for that is nearer to righteousness. Fear Allah, for Allah is aware of what you do. Surat Al-Ma’idah 5:8 “A man who has two wives and who is completely inclined to one and who ignores the other emerges with one side of his body paralysed in the Day of Judgment.” (Hadith; Ibn Majah, Nikah, 47; Mishkat al-masabih, 2/196) A woman does not consent to share her husband with another woman under normal circumstances, and no woman would like to marry a married man unless she has to. It is a necessity of belief that polygamy is right. However, to believe it does not necessarily mean for a woman to consent to the second wife and approve it. No believer father would like his son-in-law to marry a second, third or fourth woman along with his daughter. The jealous nature of the woman and the affection of the father for his daughter disapproves this. As a matter of fact, the daughter of our beloved Prophet, Sayyidah Fatima, objected to her husband, Ali’s marrying of a second woman. If it weren’t permissible to object, Sayyidah Fatima, who was brought up by our Prophet, would not have objected. The Messenger of Allah would have warned her and ordered her to consent to her husband’s wish. However, it did not take place like that. On the contrary, the Messenger of Allah, who saw that his daughter was worried, asked Ali to give up his wish and told him that if he did not give it up, he could marry another woman after divorcing Sayyidah Fatima. He did not consent to Ali’s second marriage to depress his daughter. By considering that act of the Messenger of Allah, it can be stated that Muslim daughters and fathers may object to the second marriage of their husband or son-in-law.
@@JahannamHellfire wdym "no believer father would like his son I. Law to marry a second..." Did rasoolullah not care what so ever about the fathers of his wives? Did he not take the permission of aishas father? The only thing that has come out of the last hadith is that a woman has the right to divorce if she doesnt want him to have a second wife. Not to condemn the sunnah of the prophet pbuh.
I was discussing this the other day with a friend of mine.. I noticed as you said a lot of married women would prefer their husbands do haram rather than halal.. that is an alarming situation.. I totally agree with the fact that marrying different wifes actually can be more relaxing to the wife and it could give her a bit of extra time to enjoy herself and do things that she lives. Plus marrying a man doesn't necessarily meaning he has to be home 24/7 .. I would be happy to have a husband even if I had to see him from time to time rather than having boyfriend kind of thing.. which works better?! Halal version off course. May Allah grant us halal and guide us..
@@حوريةالارض-د8ط It's personal observations plus some knowledge of our deen. We are all learning as long we are searching for the truth and to perfect ourselves. I'm not that old.
Why is this narrative being pushed that if you don’t have more than one wife, you’re not a man? Men will always look after their rights and their desires, never the women’s and this is what I see in a lot of dawah channels. The woman’s nature is to be jealous and most women genuinely cannot handle it. If this is the case then just spare women from misery and go marry someone who’s okay with it. Funny how these dawah channels will never give women the benefit of the doubt or the margin for their desires. It’s a man’s world
@@tabiakhan9870 It’s really sad. Especially how the woman’s hardships are always overlooked and always put under a man’s wants and desires. It’s very easy for them to say “just control your jealousy” rather than tell men “control your desires”. They say this might lead to zina if he can’t marry more than one.... lol this narrative is tiring
@@nidafatima3266 I know. It's it's sad. Especially since women really do want the best for the Ummah but anytime you say anything that most of these guys don't like tk hear iregardless of if it makes sense they just label you a "feminist" and that shuts the door for any further discourse.
@@tabiakhan9870 because there is a reason behind it. Most women are getting totally brainwashed by feminist SJWs. So many women who call themselves Muslim but has a rainbow in her profile. Don't think that your sisters are angels. Lol they even try to scholars (this guy is not even close to that) while they barely know anything about Islam
Sallam gabriel, this video really caught my attention, polygamy is a choice and indeed a woman can escapes from this if she makes the man before they married to agree not to marry again.. i know how it feels like when a husband wants to marry again as it happened to me,but again this is jus from my own experience, different ppl have different way of reacting to this, its like the world just fell down on you right infront of you and the depression was so great that you wont even eat or drink not even a sip of water for days, nights and days just go by like minutes, day in and out, the sun and the dark jus passes, you stayed on bed and didnt realise you were on bed for days... good thing that comes out of this is that you get slimmer and lose weight, maybe becus i had to sacrifice alot that time, give up my career, husband came in 3 mths or 5 mths as he worked offshore, had to look after my kids by myself most of times , 2 out of 3 of my kids had asma when they small,never stopped him from working anywhere around the globe, he had absolute freedom,tried to do everything a wife should, cooked,cleaned and served him breakfast which i never fail, but he stabbed me at the back,tell me if a husband spent half of his life offshore , does he still have the right to marry again? I was already sharing my time with his career..so i divorced him, now am 53, alhamdullillah, i had to start my life all over again after divorced 8 yrs ago, i worked hard and masyaAllah , Allah always there for me, every humans have partners, that Allah has promised, but i hope my partner will be met in jannah and not in this world,hardship becus of no money is nothing compare to hardship becus of broken heart and deceive and torture and mistreatment, men should treat their wife or exwife kindly as they are mothers to their children,so my advice to MEN OUT THERE, if you guys want to have more than 1 wife, makesure you guys not zalim to your first wife, as when she is being treated cruelly , Allah will hear her doa and indeed Allah will pay him cash on this earth...i dont have to elaborate more what it means by “pay him cash on this earth”
I feel greatly for you sister, because as a woman I understand what you must have gone through. Although brother Gabriel gives some of the best advice on most other topics, I would find it extremely hard to accept polygamy in the context of my personal life. Br. Gabriel had said in one of his videos that women are very sensitive in nature (as most of us are too), but here he has not considered the huge emotional and psychological effect it would have on a woman. You totally commit your life to your husband who had sworn to love you and only you for the rest of his life and when you had wholly placed your trust in him and had emotionally invested everything you've got in the marriage, but then after a while he decides that you are not enough (or good enough) anymore and takes a second wife -psychologically, it can have life shattering effects. Of course, if all the cards were laid on the table from the beginning and if polygamy had been discussed prior to the marriage and you had married knowing and accepting the idea then it would be a different case. Unfortunately, that isn't the case most of the time. May Allah make life easy for you and reward you in the next one. Ameen!
@@faza702 Assalamualaikum sister, honestly polygamy itself is not wrong, but the men must know how to play their part very well, they must wash away their ego when handling women, they must be kind especially to the first wife and know how to control their anger, they must know how to help their wives with the home chores or in the kitchen, they should find a second wife who knows her place( this is important), my mum's cousin, she is a second wife, eventho she is considered to be very young compare to the first wife, but whenever i saw her going out with that woman, she never wears makeup that much and just dress simple compare to the 1st wife, i dont know why but i think she didnt want to look prettier than the first wife in order to look after her feelings and the worst mistake a man does is instructing his wife and have the mentality that she must just obey him and this is wrong...i can feel that brother gabriel worries about the women out there and should have men as their protector and polygamy is the solution, but some women can take care of themselves too, eventho it might be hard sometimes but who cares, life is just temporary and you still have this freedom and not require to obey anyone except only Allah...its more peaceful that way..once a woman marries, her children will become second same goes to her parents, its like you tie your hands once more , thats how i feel.
@@aniqaliq7291 Second wife should know her place? There is no superiority between the co-wives of a man. Where did you read this in the Qur'an and Sunnah? Or is this simply your envy speaking?
I will let my husband to have more than one wives. It will give me some times of being alone to being close to Allah and my kids. Also some times to go for a spa treatment. When it's my time with him I will feel better and look better. Whether he is just or not it will be between him and his Lord. But I hope that he will marry only with pious women though.
Then don't be upset when he gives her $$ and you live in a small house and don't take vacations. Or when he misses your kids graduation because his other kid needs something.
I think why it doesn't work for some in today's age is due to polygamy being practiced whilst the man cannot afford any financial support to the 2nd 3rd wife etc. These men also encourage the 2nd wife etc to give up her rights and live in her house ( also a contradiction to their preaching that woman shouldn't have independence but its ok for their desires). Its a shame that the salafi brothers have misinterpreted Islam that women have no dignity or are worthless to live off their wives.They are also not known for the good akhlaq with women and give little or nothing to the women.
Gabriel is Salafi. there is nothing wrong with Salafis. what is wrong with a second wife being in the same house? It is her choice. There is not sin on a man or woman for that.
...and he cannot afford because people have great expectations regarding standards of living. Secondly, they live in the west to get access to certain services and standards, while they should live in a Muslim country a much simplier life. This is a reconstruction of the Prophet's saaw home. ruclips.net/video/B-Jg4wNQYHo/видео.html
Simple, ask the man if he plans to have a polygamous relationship, he needs to be honest if yes or no. Then the woman can choose whether to marry him or not. If he decides later on, then the fault is on him, not the woman. Marry women who accept that sort of relationship, dont force it against their nature later on.
the quran commands muslim men to have polygamy unless they are unable to fulfill the criteria. how can you object to something the exemplar women of Islam did
@@haya4228 not obligatory, just search up polygamy in Islam or quran verse about polygamy you will see. its not about marrying a bunch of women for orgies but taking care of the vulnerable
"women who accept"! What do you mean by this? If Allah accecpted this who are those women who do not accept? Are they denying Allah's acceptance and demand mahr? Hypocrites.
It's a money issue today, men barelly can efford one house with the help of their wives let alone two, let's not talk fairytails here, real women would love an alone time to relax and get her energy back, but can a man take care of her and her kids and the other familly too? And we're talking basic things not a fancy life, can he tho?
You know what's beautiful? When all parties totally fear Allah. The man follows this sunnah kindly and patiently, and the woman bears her natural jealousies with patience and with busying herself. When we are productive and busy with good things and interesting things, we have less time to overthink and less time to feel sorry for ourselves.
And unfortunately men are not men today, most are not capable of having multiple wives, because it is VERY hard, you HAVE to be a top man, islamically speaking.
@@yasinfazley8313 the only reason we can't have more than one wife is cos women make it hard. Lol. So I would say women are no longer women today. But I agree with the original post. Well said
@@OnePunchMuslim No, if Men were REAL MEN abiding by Qur'an and Sunnah, then women would understand and be fine with it, it goes both ways. Men and women nowadays lack islamic etiquette and knowledge. Of course women will make it hard now, because the men now are not capable of having multiple wives.
@@yasinfazley8313 lol. I'm sorry. But who are you to define what a real man is or isn't? Secondly since when is understanding and abiding by the Quran and sunnah to some scholarly level or practicing Quran and sunnah to some extremely high level of piety, a criteria for marrying a second wife? According to who? That's right, you. Not Islam. I'm not sure if you are aware but the only criteria mentioned in the Quran, sunnah or by scholars is FAIR TREATMENT between wives. This is it. The rest is your own insertions you're making up and have no grounds within Islam And even if a man could treat 2 wives equally, majority of women still wouldn't have a bar of it. Stop kidding yourself. Especially in the west. I agree, men and women lack Islamic etiquette. But I contest the idea that men are not capable of having more than one wife, they can but are afraid of the ramifications by the women of today and the western Muslim society around them because everyone has forgotten this is a sunnah as it doesn't favour them or their daughters and will do everything and anything within their power to stop it from happening. So the men just don't bother with all the madness.
@@OnePunchMuslim A real man, is a man who strives to be like the prophet pbuh, and the qualities he possessd, I'm not talking about what I think a man is 🤣🤣. The prophet is an example for us men, what's so hard to understand 🤣
*I don't like to say i encourage polygamy or forbid polygamy, it's kind of like saying it in a cold hard fact, black and white and there's no grey area... Just go to the extreme for things which benefit you but not necessarily justice... Giving excuse like a man watching pornography, have mistress, just to allow polygamy for the husband is not valid... Because it doesn't fix his flaw or weakness (the sin that he does)... And just so people know, woman in this day and age also watch porn and have adultery behind their husband's back (flip side of man having mistress) because of "their" weak eman... So does it mean that woman is allowed to have another relationship with man? (The solution?) This is just example if we put aside religion... Just another perspective anyway, not what's right or wrong... (Which I'm aware of). . Saying things like "man, just get another wife" to the husband, and saying things like "woman, just allow your husband to have another wife" is not appropriate... In some cases, you're actually allowing man to have flaws but woman to not have one (the perfect wife), and if there's something you don't like about your wife, the husband would kind of (subconsciously@directly) hint to the wife, i would get another wife, cause it's my right... sometimes man joke carelessly about this that it impact the woman's emotion and how they see polygamy in general... But woman don't have the same option. Again, this is perspective... So woman resort to "i want a divorce" for them to search for their own happiness... This is where the grey area come from... The internal problem is not solve, now people are giving solutions which is probably result to the wife being far from Islam, depressed and committed to other sin (maybe) and this what i saw based from the culture and context of where I come from... If polygamy is done the wrong way... Polygamy here is strict, if the first wife don't even know that you're married to other woman with her consent, the law will not permit it... This is to protect woman, the wife but it doesn't mean that man who secretly marry other woman didn't happen.* 😅 *Next, about polygamy in general... Is polygamy sunnah? I would say yes and no... The better term for it is: MARRIAGE is SUNNAH... and monogamy and polygamy is part of the marriage type... Why I emphasize on marriage is because I've heard man using words like "POLYGAMY IS SUNNAH" which is true but it also make me question: "so the man who are involved in monogamous marriage is not?"* 🧐 *Another perspective to look at, to woman and man, polygamy is actually woman's right (in a way - man pay for everything, the provider), Allah doesn't allow polygamy to abuse woman, to put woman down, to allow man to have flaws and oppress woman with it but to RESPECT ALL THE WOMAN, ALL THE PARTY (family/child involved), and THE MAN ITSELF. This is something some people probably can't see. For example: because some man approach the next wife saying i want to marry you but not saying i'm already married, so the other woman falls in love believing that the man is sincere not knowing she's entering into polygamous marriage, which honestly not all woman can accept... Or from the first wife perspective, the husband have affair outside of marriage but she didn't know (not zina but approaching), or they got married but the woman involved can't accept each other, and always want to one up each other... there are many examples but i forgot... The base is there is no transparency, there is no sincerity, there is no honesty, there is no coming to the term on ALL party involved but there is deceit, bad feeling, forcefulness.* Continue 👇
*Something to add about the point RESPECTING ALL WOMAN - i got my conclusion and perspective by comparing different outlook. In Islam, all the woman (wives including children) involved, get their rights, get their respect as a woman, get their need met (physical and mental), and Islam already give the guidelines on how a man should treat their wives and vice versa... Also LIMITING the number of wives is a mercy to man and women involved. On the other side, when i observe what happen to woman in the old times where in European culture there is this status you call Duke, Count, Earl, commoner, etc... The husband can just choose to be with his mistress/kept woman after they have an heir with the legal wife, so the mistress can have as much gift from the man, but you and your child won't have inheritance, security, and respect/dignity cause you're just a KEPT WOMAN... And the legal wife are just wallowing in bitterness (force to accept the situation) or have her own lover, it becomes an OPEN MARRIAGE, and the children are raise by maids, etc as a pawn... 🥺 So where is the respect to the legal wife, the children involved, the other woman (mistress) ? On the other hands, when looking at ancient Chinese practice... Where a man (usually powerful man) have as many wives and concubine as they can, no limit to any number, i mean imagine 1000 woman in a harem and they're competing for the affection of 1 man which is their husband, and the husband choose which woman he adore at the time, so that 1 woman got all the love and attention and the rest just plotting which woman to kill, so where's the mercy and where is the respect to all the woman?* 😑 *Why I don't agree with black and white when it comes to polygamy is because i need to see the context and the situation... some woman just don't understand the basis of POLYGAMY, so they saw it in a negative light or just disregard it altogether... From SOME man perspective, it's all about the pleasure and having more wife? I don't know but i got that VIBE that SOME man gives which in turn again give a negative light on polygamy in the eyes of woman WHO don't want to know anything about POLYGAMY. Does that make sense?* *I have been asked before, about polygamy... Just some questions about polygamy from a Muslim girl and i answered and EMPHASIZED that polygamy is not there to humiliate, put down, and oppressed woman, Allah make it so that WOMEN is RESPECT by man, and Allah makes it a Mercy to woman and man. I need the woman/girl who ask this question to understand it at the core so it doesn't affect their eman in the future, that's my intention. Another example of polygamy that i will give is this:* ✓ the wife probably got into an accident, so she can't fulfil her role as a wife, so she said to the husband, marry another woman but don't abandon me. ✓ the wife can't get pregnant, and both of them want children, so the husband marry again, and they share responsibility for the child ✓ the wife is critically ill, and she has a small child, so she allowed her husband to find a wife and a mother for her children ✓ the wife and the future wife is best of friend, and seeing that the friend is being abuse by man or don't have husband yet, so the wife offer her husband to her friend because she knows her husband is the best of man to also love her bestie (to man and woman, this may sound weird but this type of woman exist in this world where her love for people close to her heart knows no bound, and her jealousy is defeated by her love. To dirty minded people - NO, IT'S NOT THREESOME and disgusting things like that) ✓ there is even cases where the wife sincerely ask the husband to have another wife (not the same as above example) but the husband doesn't want it (not made up situation, it did happen) 😊 ✓ there is also a good muslim man (generally is a good muslim) who on their part personally don't even want to have another wife even if he has the option and capabilities, not because he's scared of the wife or whatever. And not implying that man who are involve in a polygamous marriage is bad cause I'm not implying that... 😑 ✓ and there is also a situation where a couple don't have children but they're happily married until they die (no polygamy) ✓ and a situation where the wife is not able to fulfill her responsibilities (some@all) to her husband after some times after the marriage but the husband doesn't find another wife and takes care of his wife because his love for his wife is greater than his needs ✓ and there's a situation where the HUSBAND can't fulfill his responsibilities to his wife and the wife have the right to divorce the husband if she wants it, but the wife takes care of the husband until they die because her love for her husband is greater than her needs --- *so don't discount all these situation cause it DID happen and exist other situation that may result in polygamy or not. And i respect alll of them.* ----
*Polygamy is not a MUST, but it's a responsibility of every party involved, it's a choice, and it's an OPTION. If the option is there then it means KINDNESS in itself... Like you have the option to discipline/beat your child but you also have the option to advice and make them understand the right and wrong in a good way so you dismiss disciplining them altogether, like you have an OPTION to divorce instead of just staying in bad marriage (context and situation again), Mercy and kindness in having a way IN and also have a way OUT...* *Some woman don't care for polygamy and consented/agreeing to it, in these case i see mostly (not all), that the woman is NOT the FIRST WIFE and woman and man need to understand, people see things differently, the way people understood things varied, and you may not be in the same wavelength and though eventhough you're from the same gender.* *Now let's talk about LOVE ❤️, it is normal for human to want their own spouse and not share it with another, be it man or woman.. cause we're talking about your other half, your romantic partner, not your mother, not your father not your children (platonic love)... So when you know that your partner have another person, in love with another, what would you FEEL at that time? Obviously you feel HURT, BETRAYED, DISBELIEVE, JEALOUSY, SAD etc... That's NORMAL... and that's OKAY... you're entitled to it unless you're acting on your feeling to HURT another person...* *Talk about man in a polygamous marriage being JUST, 🥺 I believe a husband can be JUST to his wives if the marriage is approach in "proper way" and with the HELP of his wives, he could be Just and the best of husband to his wives. Everything is connected to each other. Marriage in Islam itself mean worshiping Allah, in marriage itself there is mercy and love... So if there's no mercy and love, what's the point of both husband and wife marrying each other just for you to hurt each other? Loving your spouse is worship, being kind to your spouse is worship, spending time with each other is worship and many more. Muslim man need to remember that you're holding your wife hands to jannah, Muslim woman need to remember that your husband is your qawwam that will lead you to jannah. You're not competitor, you're a better half of each other, you're an example to your children about love and future partner. (People having mommy issues or daddy issues or choosing wrong partner is related to this).* *In some other platform, i have seen some video with the speaker being male saying that in the future or even now, there will be a 9 good woman to 1 good man in his country, 9 vs 1.. emphasize on GOOD/QUALITY... And he said that it's not that the man is LACKING in number, but the quality of a man nowadays as a husband material is dwindling compared to woman, (NOT what i said) and factor like LGBT also contribute to that... hinting at POLYGAMY... so my answer would be neutral... I said that even if that all good man married 4 woman, there is still 5 woman who is single, so what about them? Do they turn to each other and become gay? In this case what I can say is, it's a test to women whether they want to get into polygamous marriage or be patience with it. It's their decision, and you can't do anything about it. So if it's not your marriage at stake, stay neutral and don't assume that polygamous marriage will be bad cause if it's done right, all the woman are happy, you can have a happy marriage. Same with monogamous marriage.* *And if you're asking about polygamy with the intention to attack other woman on her readiness to accept MARRIAGE (polygamy), make sure she is actually married, and have better understanding of her situation and what she will enter.. if she's not even married, a single woman... I mean, bro, that's not how you approach it... 🤦🏻♂️ Woman who is single usually prefer their own husband, with not the added bonus of another wife and probably children, same with man preferring (virgin/unmarried) woman to a widow, not because a virgin is more special or worthy but because a widow, woman who have experience in marriage still have that memory of their husband to compare it with you, and some woman can't easily forget their husband based on the situation just like our prophet's wife before she marry, who love her former husband dearly and said to the husband if you die, I won't marry again but the husband pray differently... And our ummul mukmineen marry Prophet Muhammad saw... (I don't remember names, my flaw but i remember the story)* 🙏 *I usually check myself if I'm biased towards one or the other, so I like to stay neutral not picking sides but i don't know if I'm doing it right. I don't condone injustice towards men, injustice towards women and children, so all this perspective have some truth in it. I don't speak cold hard fact just because i want too, nor am i just being emotional... But i wanted to balance it... I smell your hurt, i can see it, i can feel it when i meet someone... And i wanted to know why you're hurting and Whether you need some rationality to your emotion, or you need some humanity and mercy to your rational cold hard fact..* *I'm not into feminism, not into LGBT, not into adding the word toxic to the word masculine/feminine... I'm just offering PERSPECTIVE, and it is not matter of right or wrong unless it goes against Islam, and if you read this and it can expand your perspective on certain subject, i would be happy for you, and if you nitpick and still don't understand the context and the ground where I'm standing from, and pick on certain hadith or that, which i think i probably aware of, than i will leave you to your own assumption...* *If Brother Gabriel is reading this, I'm sorry it is such a long comment and i like to listen to your perspective and your takes on masculine behaviour and what you're trying to portray, the message you're trying to bring eventhough people misunderstood, and keep up the good work on bringing masculinity to man, it's an interesting insight to how subconsciously or consciously woman or society are hurting man on a deeper level because of different way of psychology and communication between man and woman. Not toxic but align with the sharia.* 👍
Praise be to Allah. Firstly: plural marriage is Sunnah for the one who can afford it, and is not obligatory, according to scholarly consensus. See al-Mughni, 9/340. Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: Is plural marriage permissible in Islam or is it Sunnah? He replied: Plural marriage is Sunnah for the one who can afford it. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice” [al-Nisa’ 4:3] And it is Sunnah because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did it. He had nine wives and Allaah benefited the ummah through them. This is one of the things that applied only to him (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Other men are not allowed to have more than four wives. There are many benefits in plural marriage for men and women and for the Muslim ummah as a whole. Plural marriage enables everyone to lower their gaze and guard their chastity, to have many children, and for a man to take care of many women and protect them from the causes of evil and deviation. As for the one who cannot afford that and fears that he will not be able to treat co-wives justly, he should settle for just one wife, because Allaah says: “but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one”. From Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/202
Secondly: It should be noted that in principle, marriage may be obligatory or mustahabb, depending on each person’s situation and his need for marriage. Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: With regard to marriage, people are of three categories: 1 - Those who fear that they may commit haraam actions if they do not get married. In this case marriage is obligatory according to most of the fuqaha’, because a person has to keep himself chaste and avoid haraam things. 2 - Those for whom it is mustahabb, who are those who feel desire but they are certain that they are not going to do haraam things. For such people marriage is better than devoting oneself to naafil acts of worship, because Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined and encouraged marriage, and because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) got married, as did his companions, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions only did that which is best. And because the interests served by marriage are many, because it protects one’s religious commitment, and it protects the woman, keeps her chaste and takes care of her, and produces children, and increases the numbers of the ummah, and will make the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) proud [of the numbers of his ummah in the Hereafter], and serves other interests, any one of which outweighs the benefits of doing naafil acts of worship, so it is better. 3 - Those who have no desire, either because they were created without desire or because they were created with desire but have now lost it, because of old age or sickness, etc. These people are of two types: (a)Those for whom marriage is mustahabb, because of the general meaning of the evidence which enjoins marriage. (b)Those for whom devoting themselves to worship is better, because they cannot fulfil the purposes of marriage and they would not be able to keep a wife chaste, which will cause her harm and this means that he will be keeping her without looking after her properly, and he will be taking on obligations and duties that he may not be able to fulfil. The evidence which indicates that marriage is encouraged should be understood as referring to those who have desire. And Allaah knows best.
I agree! In fact, I believe polygamy is actually a cure for today's time though, I personally for me wouldn't like to be a part of it. I appreciate the topics you discuss but can you collaborate with some scholars to make the convos more robust whilst the issues are tackled in real time among us all together.
There is no doubt at all that taking multiple wives is HALAL. Nobody can debate or disagree with that. This is fact. We hear and we obey. However. We have a huge,huge problem with a majority of selfish and cultural Muslim men in our communities. I apologise if this offends anyone but I have seen and heard this time and time again. We don't know everyone's stories and certainly sisters are not angels and in some cases are the actual cause of driving a good husband away (seen this before too). But, many men, in this socially corrupt society and who are Kim Kardashian obsessed, leave the rights and the wellbeing of their wives and children at the door in pursuit of their primal desires. I am sorry but these are the realities. No man will be perfect but brothers, fear Allah and know that indeed you WILL be questioned about what you did and who you harmed. If you follow this potentially beautiful sunnah, for the sake of Allah, do it properly. Or face the consequences in your grave. And in your akhirah.
There is no doubt at all that taking multiple wives is HALAL. Nobody can debate or disagree with that. This is fact. We hear and we obey. However. We have a huge, huge problem with a majority of selfish and cultural Muslim women in our communities. I apologize if this offends anyone but I have seen and heard this time and time again. We don't know everyone's stories and certainly brothers are not angels and in some cases are the actual cause of driving a good wife away (seen this before too). But, many women, in this socially corrupt society and who are Tom Cruise obsessed, leave the rights and the wellbeing of their husbands and children at the door in pursuit of their primal desires. I am sorry but these are the realities. No woman will be perfect but sisters, fear Allah and know that indeed you WILL be questioned about what you did and who you harmed. If you follow this potentially beautiful sunnah, for the sake of Allah, do it properly. Or face the consequences in your grave. And in your akhirah.
@Polygamy not for me! My Choice You must not say Alhamdulillah before mentioning "fahisha" acts you've been doing. That aside, what makes you a better person than your husband, having a boyfriend? Maybe he is using you for the time being. And once he is done with you he will move to new one. He is not committed to you.
@Polygamy not for me! My Choice Funny how you don't like polygamy marriage with commitments and responsibilities but love to have boyfriend who goes to multiple women without marriage commitment, have all kinds of relationship with them and doesn't take responsibility. Hypocrisy at its peak. Maybe never will he marry you, will leave you with nothing.
Polygamy or not, the time is coming when a man will have to maintain 50 women, Muslim men better wake up, man up, get the practice of looking after more women in you’re life now or you will struggle later.
Kindly burst your bubble 😂, look after 50 what? Please woman are opting out of marriage plus woman will not outnumber men. They do not do so currently and they never will. The only time they do is in old age . Men outnumber men in 30s while woman skyrocket in 50+ . Trust me no woman in 50+ will be looking for a husband. Her son is there to provide for her. She can provide herself.
Can never feel the pain? We go through the pain of fighting our desires for most of our lives so just we can build ourselves and afford a marriage, we remain single for so long because of women's high expectations and cause no woman would stick with us when we're young and be with us to build our life together, and when we finally get there after so many years and we can now afford multiple wives you want us to be monogamous? Piss off. you take non of the risk and want all the reward.
@@Ystrly none of risk😂,women have to leave their own parents after marriage and hv do all household work and have a major contribution in raising children and after doing all that she is not safe to go out alone and stand completely independent cuz her life is like a jail ... one needs to understand whose mind is already pissed off to talk in such manner. May Allah help us all
@@quickenglish4350 where is the risk in that? You missed the point, you wouldn't take a man who is in the process of building himself, you wouldn't take the risk, and when he makes it and becomes successful, you want him all to yourself, let the man have a second wife if he can afford it.
@@Ystrly A lady,since she is born has risky education when she has to step out from her house,a mother risks her life while giving birth.Is that risking not enough bro?
@@quickenglish4350 risky education? Last time I checked education was pretty safe, risk getting our of the house? Either way those to are irrelevant to the husband, they're not a direct investment in marriage, the risk while giving birth is extremely low that's it's irrelevant, 20 women in every 100000 births is the stats, either way, women gonna face this risk regardless of the man you marry, the point is, most women take no risk in the success of their husband, they weren't there suoporting him when he was grinding, he was all by himself and you only agreed to marry him when he had it all, and then they want it all for themselves, if he takes care of all his responsibilities and care afford a second wife, let him have it.
I do agree with what you say brother if the imaams spoke about it and the women cared enough about their single widowed or divorced sister's in islaam that they could over come their jealousy and think about the reward they would get in the here after it could work also the men need to be fare responsible and just and treat them the same and not do injustices may Allah subhaanahu ta aala guide and protect us all Aameen 🤲😭🤲
All those sisters saying it should be stated in the nikkah contract that man can't have two wives it should also state you don't have right to man's house and earnings after divorce as islam prescribes. Most women in UK will go after man's finances on divorce which is Islamically impermissible.
Not only they do not accept what Allah decrees, but they even try to steal a Muslim's wealth which Allah made sacred by using man-made laws. The disbelief is evident.
Living in the west Polygamy becomes a unusual concept for us but as Muslim we must alter our thinking according to our books . Men are naturally different to women I think better polygamy then mistress which disrespect the women and her honour . Many woman fall into situation widowed divorced they get older love for your sister what you love for yourself . it seem the perfect solution if we could understand it sisters .so long as the man can afford and keep his commitment to both . I personally see it work perfectly in many relationships . It is not a weakness buy a strength in a women to understand this well and accept if done properly
Bro , love for your brother what you love for yourself - there are more men than women in this world - one man hoarding wives will mean some men cant get married - If you love your brother then you should marry one so he can get a wife too . FYI - there are about 105 boys born to every 100 girls .
It’s a beautiful thing for certain people but lord it ain’t for me . Imagine him coming home and he just got done with his other wives sexually . I just couldn’t do it .
I am ok with the concept of polyginy but have some insight: Marry the ones who do not even have one wife yet. Imagine the struggle and danger of this situation.. If the reason is doing because you care about ummah and widows. Otherwise just do it but do not use this excuse. Say that you do it for yourself and khalas. (using you but ya3ni talking in general not to you brother Jibrail) Rasul as was in monogamy for most of his life, just a reminder. Saying that men watch porn because they naturally need another partner is also saying that women who do not have a husband are naturally lead to watch at porn too. But Indeed porn is nothing but a pervertion, far from the natural need human have. Watching other people doing zina. It doesn't seem so much so just because it is within 4 walls behind a screen..but think if it was outside.. Would anyone walking in a street or countryside and notice a couple so decide to sit on a chair and enjoy the performance or would feel embarrassed and walk away?!
I think it might be easier in Muslim countries. But in Western countries, please consider children may be considered as illegitimate and may have consequences. I don't know that's what I have heard and gone on the benefits system if they cannot afford it. It is better to keep one incase you think you may be unfair to the wives.
There's no Islamic law system that protects the existing of such a relationship. The concept of justice is very important and implementing it socially and economically is even more important and its too much responsibility for one man.
@@ibrahimzulfiquar668 I didn't say they don't exist however we just put all responsibility on the men without any law system that makes sure to hold them accountable. The law system acknowledges all possible errors of monogamous relationships not polygyny and that's why it's more risky.
The definition of 'illegitimate' is a child born from zinaa. Secondly, in western countries a child born out of marriage have the same material rights of a child born from a marriage. It is in Muslim countries that different rulings are applied to illegitimate children.
actually if a woman marries a high value man would she even care if he monogamous or not? Not really. Do the women who marry a emirati prince who owns 30 sports cars or whatever, do they even care? The 4th woman he marries, she is marrying him out of her own choice not because she is a 40 year old widow who has no other choice
I do agree polygamy is part of Islam but I do not believe polygamy is a solution. My father heve 2 wives and still like watching porn at age 60 he should looking for another wife? and I remember he says he would marry again with rich woman and then my says ok(angry in her heart) he was dating, chating with the woman and my question is the solution? Iwas hate mylife and everything because of polygamy there is no happiness, and now his first wife want to divorce and my mom too so pity of him. I revert and I believe in Allah but I do not want polygamy.
Let's be a sensible women. Men are inclined toward novelty. Rather he indulges in haram It's good to have other wives because it's halal. And I think hell is worse destination. One can't even think it for enemy How a wife can think it for a dearie husband? Both parties should know their duties and fear Allah.
I would like to mention that the Prophet pbuh was married to one woman his whole young adult life, when the needs of a man for a woman are the strongest, and there is not one hadith saying that a man should marry more women so he does not fall into zina, nowhere is there such a saying, but many on men keeping themselves chaste and purifiying their minds. So islam is not filled with this notion of men marrying women do they do not do haram because they "cannot control themselves."
So monogamous men don’t exist? Edit: if he watches pornography or gets a mistress it’s not my fault but his. I never told him to go against Allah did I? So why should I be blamed for it?!
@@trpmuslim4614 before you make such comments, did you forget that you’re only allowed 4 wives and concubines only IF you can be just between them? Because remember the prophet saw also narrated a hadith where he had stated that men who aren’t just between their wives in this world will show up on the day of judgment lopsided. And we all know that automatically = hellfire. So yeah going forward I’d think things through CAREFULLY if I were you. Also remember that a woman has ALL RIGHTS to stipulate a clause in her marriage contract to forbid you from taking a second wife as long as you’re married to her, and may also add extra compensation in regards to her mahr if you do so.....
@@trpmuslim4614 wow so much for enforcing the shariah, yet you’re not aware that making assumptions is also haram?🧐🧐 May Allah swt sincerely guide you out of your ignorance, hypocrisy and chauvinism (ameen). And fyi how’s it “feministic bs” if Allah CLEARLY states in the Quran “if you cannot be just, ONLY TAKE ONE”. Are you calling Allah swt “feministic” now? (astaghfirullah). And yeah you’re only gonna “ignore” because you KNOW I’m right, and you’re not man enough to handle all this let alone handle 4 wives and concubines🤣.
I'm going to give this brother a break, I don't think he intends to be 1-sided even though it comes off that way and I get the root of his point. My only feedback is that a man isn't a simp for only wanting 1 wife, if anything he's probably of strong character because he understands how much work and attention ONE marriage needs so image having 2, 3 or 4. We must remember that polygny is halal which means that there will be people who choose that manner of marriage but halal is not the same as required. So it is perfectly fine for people to not desire polygny be it man or woman and it doesn't make them weak or simps if anything it might make them emotionally intelligent enough to know their own personal limits. It might also mean that they're responsible because they understand the task that you have when you indulge in that sort of marriage. If more men and women thought about what the implications of polygny could be before they entered it then they'd be better prepared for it if they decided to enter it and we'd have more success stories. But the problem is that SOMETIMES polygyny is a result of a man's ego and his sexual desires more so than his emotional intelligence or desire to care for an additional woman. A man who enters into anything driven purely by what's below the waist usually hasn't thought it through and that's a recipe for disaster, not just for himself but for his Ummah.
I saw many man,who didnt gave full atention and love to wife,but they wanted to get marry 2nd nd 3th.i thik 1 wife is enough for a man,and they both have to work in their relationship.but our muslim man are folowing their desires,why they dont fast 2 days in week,maybe they would never think ti get marry 2nd wife.why they dont folow other sunnah od prophet sws,they r taking only parts in sunnah which they like it? And while Khadija r.a. was alive,Prophet sws never get married 2nd wife,there was the reason why after her death he got married with more wives.
Alhamduiallah Our lord knew the characters of women like myself , so he did not make this practice fard cause there is no way am sitting and taking care of the children alone while my husband spends time with other women nope.Also the no lecture ever mentions why the prophet’s ( pbuh) daughter are never in polygamous marriages in fact didn’t fatima(rA) refuse it, and didn’t the prophet( pbuh) asked Ali to divorce her if he was to take another wife. Am over this narrative that a man will cheat or go astray if he is not allowed to get married again , cause interesting enough the men who get married are older usually it is never 25-35 when they have higher desire rather when they become comfortable with their wives and feel they can treat them any kinda of way.As a muslimah , who follows Allah beautifully laws, I am glad I have a choice to divorce period .
Not looking to get into a back and forth debate, just wanted to clarify that Ali رضي الله عنه was a man who fought battles and had concubines. Theres a hadith that comes to mind that makes mention of his relation with one concubine. You can't impose modern liberal ideologies onto the past, specifically onto the noble sahabah and sahabiyat. This is known as presentism.
@@tasfiyatarbiya3194 provide the Hadith brother . Also I am not following any ism or whatever , am just saying not all infact almost all females will not or are not ok with sharing period , therefore we have a choice to end the marriage.This does not make me any less pious or righteous.
@@s0urbugz837 as Salamu alaykum sister, my reason for responding was not to tell you what to do in your life. If you want to not marry a man that wants multiple wives then that is your prerogative. You did however mention Ali's رضي الله عنه example as a justification for your wants and so I wanted there to be clarity in that regard. You can find the full hadith in صحيح البخاري كتاب المغازى Narrated Buraida: The Prophet sent `Ali to Khalid to bring the Khumus (of the booty) and I hated `Ali, and `Ali had taken a bath (after a sexual act with a slave-girl from the Khumus). I said to Khalid, "Don't you see this (i.e. `Ali)?" When we reached the Prophet I mentioned that to him. He said, "O Buraida! Do you hate `Ali?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Do you hate him, for he deserves more than that from the Khumlus." Sahih al-Bukhari 4350
@@tasfiyatarbiya3194 jazakumullahu khairan, i appreciate it . Now my point is that the choice is for the women without feeling they are sinning , if they refuse to part take in that union.
@@s0urbugz837 No, if you read the hadith: 1. Fatima RA was upset because Ali RA wanted to marry the daughter of Prophet's pbuh enemy. 2. The Noble Prophet Pbuh forbade Ali RA to marry the daughter of his enemy. A man cannot be married to the Prophet pbuh daughter and the daughter of his enemy concurrently. 3. This is not a matter regarding normal polygyny
The problem is is that in modern times being able to afford more than one wife is extremely difficult. The cost of living is so high these days that despite all the amenities that we have today, it’s often necessary for both the husband and wife to go out to work in a monogamous Union whereas in days of old and developing countries today it’s possible to support a full family on one man’s income regardless of social status. Islam allows polygyny and it’s a Sunnah, but only men who can truly afford to provide for more than one wife, do right by and treat them well can and should engage in it. It also can solve the problem of hypersexuality in some men and allow widowed or divorced women (who, unfortunately, even in western societies aren’t as desired) to have husbands. However, the caveats need to be acknowledged too.
It's not true at all . I by my self have two wife's elhamdulillah and I can afford for both of them elhamdulillah. And it's not about hypersexuality, as the nature of the man's and I witnessed as a man. But most of the man's are afraid to do because they are afraid to lose they kids and so on, so they do it in a secret way. Even the non Muslim have afares and so on.
The cost of living is so high, because people migrate from dar al islam to non-Muslim countries for financial reasons. And the sahaba never did that even if they were extremely poor.
Especially in the west, if a man takes a second wife socially the first wife loses all value. They find every fault and make fault for her not being Enough and she is degraded. How can a man expect her to have dignity in the face of that? Not against polygyny in concept but in the West as it is now?
"Especially in the west..." Muslims shouldn't care about Western values and ideologies, period. That's the problem in the first place. They are not grounded in their deen. "How can a man expect her to have dignity in the face of that?" Did the wives of the Prophet ('alayhi salatu wa salam) have dignity? (May Allah ta'ala be pleased with them) Where do you take your role models from? Where do you take your understanding of dignity from? Qur'an and Sunnah.
I have so many single good friends who arr not married and well into their age... Good jobs but no husband and children...i also got married 45.. No children...... How could the ummah have increased if men took a second wife to increase the ummah.... But No! The first wives don't want it Astaghfirullah
Your friends just have way too standards. I know more single men who are struggling to get married than single women. Instead of becoming a second wife to a high value man tell them to think about the men who are struggling to even get one wife!
It, can work but with me i ended selling what little i had, as we were managing only alhumdulillah. I was grateful for our family and what we had. But the debt and horror of people asking for money as our financial situation deteriorated.my husband became ill so i ended up as caregiver. When he was well he spent time wirh his wife but ate slept and took bathes at our home. I was sharply reminded when i protested , that he needed to be fair, that it was his house.i had no inheritance, unlike most women in our communiry, i had no personal income and i felt like crap. I am still reeling at the unfairness. I had not seen my family for 23 years cause they lived to far, for our small income. My brother hecame ill and died and i could no go to visit. So i turned to Allah and prayed and and prayed .o did i forget to tell u i didnt even know he was married. That said i trust in Allah
Brother Gabriel at the start of the video ( 1:20 ) you said that prophet Muhammad(may peace be upon him)divorced hafsa (r.a).I assume that it was a slip of tongue.he wanted to divorce hafsa(r.a) but Allah forbid him.here is the report 👇👇👇 When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wanted to divorce Hafsah, Allaah revealed to him: Go back to Hafsah, for she fasts a lot and prays a lot at night, and she will be your wife in Paradise. Al-Mundhiri said: this was narrated by al-Nasaa’i and Ibn Maajah. ‘Awn al-Ma’bood Sharh Sunan Abi Dawood, hadeeth no. 2283.
Rasullulah SAW was monogamously married with Khadijah RAW for 15 years, until her death. It's strange that you don't mention this at all in the video. Please don't pick and choose only what you like from his Sunnah to satisfy your nafs.
@Black Roses of course it's permissible. It is in the Quran and part of the Sunnah. If a man can be fair to his wives the Quran gives him this right. My point is that Rasullulah's longest marriage was a monogamous one. If you want to talk about the Sunnah of his marriage be balanced. Don't pick and choose to give a distorted picture that doesn't accurately represent his life.
I apologize to brother Romani for my statement that he was picking what he liked from the Sunnah to satisfy his nafs. In reflection this was wrong and rude. May Allah and the brother forgive me. I don't regret reminding him to reflect on Rasullulah's longest marriage, the monogamous one to Khadijah RA, when discussing the Sunnah of marriage, but I was wrong to cast doubt on this brother's intentions and sincerity.
@@sssppp1773 he(pbuh) couldn't marry anyone with Khadija, she is one of the 4 greatest women. Just like Ali was instructed by rasullullah(pbuh) not to marry anyone with His daughter Fatima, again one of the 4 greatest women.
Good work Gabriel. Until recently polygamy was completely accepted in many countries including non Muslim societies. It was the natural order of society. But in this dajjal age everything has been upside down, women are the bread winners, leaders, have the rights etc. Both Muslim and non Muslim men and women need to bring back these practices so we can restore the natural order of things for everyone’s benefit.
What about intimacy needs? I am a woman and I like to spend every night with my husband. If he had other wives, what would I do the nights he is gone 😅
@Black Roses I believe it’s just harsher judgement for women who actually act on their desires. To make men feel safe, I think women just play down their desire.
I think the main important problem is the lack of knowledge and faith especially women. They want to own husband but they usually forget that we can't own anyone, of course that can make them feeling depressed, underestimate themselves... Men should know also that they are too emotional, weak therefore they should be careful and marry two or three.. But they should just helping them in developing their self-esteem. When I talk to my mother about that, she always tells me that women can accept religiously polygamy but they can't accept sharing his man with another woman naturally and she will make all kind of problems to destabilise him. Thanks for the educational video, good luck everyone
Yes! And who are the ones left behind because of the weaknesses of these men and lack of emotional intelligence and want of jannah from the first wives? The widows and divorcees. Society then becomes a broken one. Quran does say one wife is better but has allowed for upto 4 for reasons which The All Wise, our creator has provided. We need the sunnah and Quran ways back into our hearts as true mumins to understand the NEED for polygamy from a man and woman’s perspective.
@@saybman7976 are you a mishap? You obviously haven’t listened to the video properly nor read my response which agrees with him - agreeing with polygamy as Allah swt has decreed. Unlike you, I don’t wish bad on my Muslim brothers and sisters - may you realise your wrongs and be forgiven accordingly.
@@ASwae I did both but misread your comment. I apologize. May Allah give barakat to you and your loved ones. Ameen. Still one thing I would add is that monogamy is said to be better only if the guy self assesses himself to be unable to be unable to maintain justice. Which according to my understanding means polygyny is better otherwise.
How does polygyny work when the population ratio of men is slightly higher than women There are more men than women ' so how will polygyny not lead to some men not being able to pair with women while other men have more than they need ?
Polygyny is limited to four wives and comes with obligations. It is unlikely to be a cure for pornography and mistresses, because of those limits and obligations, and because it doesn't have as much variety and excitement.
@@metaknight859 that's nonsense. There are psychological articles about it even. if the man is watching porn it is a sickness and it will not be cured by marrying. he needs to purify his heard by making taubah and being steadfast in his word. that's the only cure.
Why does Islam allow 4 wives? Because early Muslim armies suffered many fatalities, so there were few men left. Marriage meant the remaining men provided for orphans(whose mothers, as most women of that time, didn't work), served as a father figure, and fulfilled the women's need for intimacy & protected them. Marriage to slaves was also promoted to help elevate their rank and allow them to have children and live a fulfilling life. All in a formal arrangement that ensured women were provided for in case of pregnancy and compensated in case of divorce. These marriages were about helping women, not oppressing them. Quran 4:3 says this is if "you worry you may be unjust to orphans, then marry". Outside this condition, multiple marriages are discouraged :) -67
@@ef2883 wrong Polygyny was already practiced before. Islam didn't actually come and allow it, it just restricted it to 4. Powerful, rich men used to have like 10-15 wives at those days. That's why it's mentioned in the Qur'an. It's only discouraged for men who can't afford maintaining more than 1 family which is like most men today because life expenses are rel. high. And even if we consider you argument there are so many single mom's today or unmarried 35 year old women obviously young men don't want to marry them so polygyny is a solution for women who don't mind being 2nd or 3rd wives. It's for the greater wellbeing of the society, you don't have to practice it if you don't want to
Exactly.. This religious narcist.. He had no end... Lol.. Wth.. R they scaring women tht they will go astray.. . Lol.. Wwe aren't responsible for their Akhira.. Such men deserve to be alone
I'm an atheist, single, radical feminist and if I ever gave up my freedom for marriage, I'd want a sister-wife. Why not? Guys have a bigger sex drive and I'm not jealous. Sharing the chores, the child-care, the man... makes sense to me.
@@calonstanni your welcome. I would suggest you just try and piece of advice don’t let people tell you what to think. Formulate your own view on existence by what makes sense. By logical axioms that can be understood by all. And give the Quran a shot, you may find something you didn’t know you wanted.
Dear sister ! Sex drive depends on hormones, there are lot of women who complains about their husbands because they have low sex drive. So that’s not true.
The prophet (saw) and the Saha as got another wife to grow the ummah and Mohammed (saw) did it for any reason but desires. Polygony is for widows and orphans
Salam brother, Where is the gratefulness to Allah when a couple are both satisfied, mentally, physically and spiritually but still the man is not contented. How can a wife be righteous, obey her husband and be guided to the Akhirah when her mentor do not follow every Islamic rule? (Ex. Being physically close to his female friends)
Bottom line: Muslim men are allowed to having multiple wives, and women are Allowed to decide whether or not they want to be part of it. And let’s stop telling women that they just have the choice between cheaters and polygamists. Pious and monogamous unions should be normalized.
Muslim women cannot leave a husband solely on polygamy if that wasnt discussed in the marriage contract before. Women cannot divorce without a valid reason. And the only valid reason is if the husband isnt fulfilling his duties.
@@93boxing81 yes they can u need to study islam u can defo leave if ur husband decides to take a second wife u can leave if ur not attracted to ur husband anymore. Stop spreading false info about islam and really study it. Taking on a second wife is defo a valid reason to divorce him
@@GAXOOOOOTI yes I did study it. Woman has to have a valid reason. A woman knows that a man has permission to marry multiple women unless there is a contract. If she doesnt put a contract for him to accept then she cannot complain.
@@93boxing81 wrong we can simply divorce if we dnt find our spouse attractive. Divorcing hjm because he married a second wife is defo a legitimate reason lol no woman will settle for this. what u r doing is spreading wahabism
@@GAXOOOOOTI The only time she can divorce is if she feels that she will be sinful to the husband. But other than that it's not a valid reason to leave if she didnt specify in the contract. She knows before marrying that is his rights. Women will put up with a man that she deems high value and this happens all the time.
Taken more than one wife is practically impossible, better to avoid it. Some will say but it’s better than going astray? Well then let it be known that when someone does something for his desire…it’s not same as doing something for the sake of Allah swt. No modern guy will be able to treat them equally unless it’s equally bad. In theory it’s an argument we can use that it’s better than cheating…but again it comes to the question of controlling ones desire. Rather we should promote the Muslim man ti become more active academically…..get involved in other matters like supporting a just cause/charity…Fasting….and you won’t even have time to think about another marriage!Allah swt knows best
Why should we control our desires if we are allowed to satisfy them? Also founding a family providing for a 2nd woman and her children is a great form of charity. And you are contributing to the sunnah by increasing the number of the ummah. Polygyny is widely practised in some countries. Just saying...
@@mariaray7614 libido of men is usually higher than the women. Also women have periods, pregnancy etc. So for high libido men it make sense to have more than 1 wife
I want MY husband to love only me and stay loyal to me and if he isn't man enough to do that I don't want him. It's not high expectations it's just the bare minimum to be loyal to your spouse.
@@kaz9242 you're living in your world I live in India where monogamy is practiced strictly I have never seen a wife cheat on her man or vice versa. For me it's the bare minimum to be loyal NOT a luxury.
@@innominatesoul2277 why do you think there are so many prostitutes who have clients daily? Sorry sister to disturb your bollywood fantasy but that's not how real life works.
@@kaz9242 I would like to mention that the Prophet pbuh was married to one woman his whole young adult life, when the needs of a man for a woman are the strongest, and there is not one hadith saying that a man should marry more women so he does not fall into zina, nowhere is there such a saying, but many on men keeping themselves chaste and purifiying their minds. So islam is not filled with this notion of men marrying women do they do not do haram because they "cannot control themselves." And about the claim you made- only if you have weak character (whether a man or a woman) a cheating narcissist will find you and use your weakness while cheating you, this occurence has no gender or nationality. Good people do not do that.
Since in paradise polygamy is the norm, a man will have at least 2 wives, then one should think carefully in which place she wants to be in the hereafter.
A woman has the right not to be a co-wife. If this has been talked about BEFORE the marriage, both parties consented and it's something a woman based herself on to make a choice to pick her husband, it's not right! And this is the case for a lot of couples. If he wants it and he knows his wife doesn't, he should let her know so she can decide what to do. She has the right to choose as this was discussed beforehand and promises were given. Also marrying in secret is harmful to his wife, what about her? Doesn't her feelings count? Doesn't she matter also in this marriage? You think you're treating you wife well when you're doing sush a thing? May Allah spare me from men who have the same mentality as you on this point. ... that my friends is the problem, men abuse their 'right' and you Gabriel are encouraging this kind of behavior by giving this "motivational speech" for polygyny.
Actually man Cannot make haram what Allah has made halal. In marriage contract etc not having polygamy is making haram what Allah has made halal. Pretty sure that can be shirk. Also a man doesnt need to ask for permission from his first wife for second wife. This is like this for a reason, you may be unable to comprehend, but if you're Muslim you must believe this is either good or must submit to it and be patient and in exchange for this you will be given a higher reward in the hereafter. Also the prophet pbuh was the best to his wives and a perfect Muslim and he was polygamous. Men who have multiple wives are following the sunnah who are you to disagree
@@amazingamx1255 the other men are not prophet Muhammad although they already follow the sunnah. Muhammad was the best of man! Secondly you should definitely tell your wife about this in marrying a second wife. The truth will set you free. This is to ensure that your marriage is harmony and based on honesty. I have seen a lot of people marriage by hiding the facts. And please treat your wife as a human being with emotion. As a muslim i know patient is our virtue. But can you at least be empathetic and tell her why you did this. Women are not a robot ya know
@@crunchybeatsia2112 i dont have to tell anyone anything unless I'm obligated to do in hadith etc, what are you saying?. men shouldn't strive to be more like the prophet pbuh? men should only follow th esunnah that women lik you are okay with? remember, an innovator in islam isn't a Muslim, if that is what you are saying. i thnk you are saying this from personal experience that polygamy doesn't work out, in that case some monogamous marriages don't work out either
@@amazingamx1255 of course men should strive to be like prophet. That's why you need to be honest with wife you want to have the second one. The reason marriage does not work out in either poly or mono is you do not have honesty and trust. How can a partner trust you if you dont do your responsibility as a Man and as a father.
@@amazingamx1255 I did not talk about making things haram while they are halal. You should do more research on what shirk is brother. A contract marriage is perfectly halal, do some research. Also as mentioned before, a woman has a CHOICE. From the beginning till the end. Being a co wife is not a must, remember that. No one should be FORCED to be in a polygamous relationship. Whether a woman accepts it or not it does not make her a bad muslim woman or less pious woman. As you said you should strive to be like the prophet pbuh as he told his wives about his marriage with another one of his wives. Furthermore it's well known that the prophet never married his wives out of sexual desires. He married them either to make alliances or other political/social reasons. For example he married a divorced woman as they were looked down upon and carried for her, also when he married his first wife (20 years older than him) he stayed 25 years with her (without marrying any other woman) before marrying someone else ect ect. How about men follow these aspects instead of marrying in secret and make a lot of women suffer. Soubhannalah.
So basically ..it doesn't work nowadays until,not just unless,you teach men how to be real men and women to love less so that they are less jealous and more acceptable of sharing their husband sexually with others ...right? Good luck with that
Why does Islam allow 4 wives? Because early Muslim armies suffered many fatalities, so there were few men left. Marriage meant the remaining men provided for orphans(whose mothers, as most women of that time, didn't work), served as a father figure, and fulfilled the women's need for intimacy & protected them. Marriage to slaves was also promoted to help elevate their rank and allow them to have children and live a fulfilling life. All in a formal arrangement that ensured women were provided for in case of pregnancy and compensated in case of divorce. These marriages were about helping women, not oppressing them. Quran 4:3 says this is if "you worry you may be unjust to orphans, then marry". Outside this condition, multiple marriages are discouraged :) -45
It is totally right to mention that men need have the financial capacity in order to be able to afford to have multiple wives but from my observation again men are being blamed for not being able to fullfill this responsibility. So let's think about at the financial situation at the house of the prophet Muhammad Sallallahu alayhi wasallam and if we do so we can realise that women should be patient too when their men are not able to provide them to the "standard". Allah test men with poverty sometimes and that test may come after marrying two or three and it is not always all about men's inability!. l thought this is the other side of the picture which is being left out.
I’m glad you’ve addressed this brother. I think at the core of this issue is Muslim men are in DIRE need of Scholars who teach men how to be masculine. That needs to be the foundation and then you can build a solid structure from there. Alhamdulillah, my Father is an ex-soldier, a strong masculine man & that is how I was raised. The amount of brothers I personally know whose families are being destroyed by their wives because they are too scared to demand respect is OFF THE SCALE because men do not talk about these things like women do. They suffer in silence but that doesn’t mean it isn’t rife. I know of countless men who are good husbands, they work day & night to provide for their family & the moment they walk through the door the wife is screaming at them & even hitting them on a daily basis. These women are even neglecting their own children & leaving them to fend for themselves whilst they go out on shopping sprees. Then they wonder why he wants a second wife. Be thankful he isn’t divorcing you! When the husband is in his true masculine role & the wife is in her feminine role, it makes for a more harmonious union. Simp is the right word, keep using it brother. Lol. Call a spade a spade. May Allah guide us all & bless us with strong male leaders and good female nurturers.
Well, if the society wants women to deal with polygyny and fully accept it, men should also accept women’s education and independence and marrying divorced women.Allah said it in the Quran himself, men won’t ever be just to their wives, there has to be at least one woman who’s gonna give up her rights and is gonna either have to work, or get divorced. Even back then, Sawda RA had to give up her rights cuz the prophet pbuh couldn’t take care of her anymore, but at that time it was completely normal to marry divorcees, so even if a woman in her situation got divorced, her life is not over yet cuz she could marry again, but Sawda chose to stay and take care of herself cuz she wanted to be with the prophet pbuh in heaven. But now in today’s society, it’s a shame to be a divorcée and men will retract from you as a woman if you are educated.
Asalamu Alaykum wa rahmataullahi wa barakatuhu sheik can you start some weekly classes that we can join and we are happy to pay for this monthly maybe we’re we have group class by you two - four hours a month.
A woman can stipulate in her marriage contract that her husband can’t take another wife ! It’s simple! And for man it’s not a fantasy it’s a huge responsibility, you have answer Allah taa’la on the judgement day. Don’t take it too lightly. Don’t forget she a woman also a servant of Allah she is not a sex object. If you can’t do justice you may go to jahannam.
I would like to mention that the Prophet pbuh was married to one woman his whole young adult life, when the needs of a man for a woman are the strongest, and there is not one hadith saying that a man should marry more women so he does not fall into zina, nowhere is there such a saying, but many on men keeping themselves chaste and purifiying their minds. So islam is not filled with this notion of men marrying women do they do not do haram because they "cannot control themselves."
When these women are divorced and they want a husband they will be ok with it , when they are a widow they will be the ones complaining that knowone is marrying them.
Yeah right…… you have some of brothers who is giving lectures looks like a good Muslim brother have more then one wife BUT he come to his wife ones in a month or ones every other month while poor sister having feelings like any other healthy women… Kids … having kids but see them only ones in a month… sad sad today how some brothers using this sunnah …
Dear Gabriel, thank you for the video. As we know Allah has permitted polygyny out of his infinite wisdom and mercy because men are weak and like you said it is to prevent them from falling into sin. It will be interesting to see what happens when there are more women in the world then men as prophecized. In some countries I think this is already happening.
no the prophecied one during end times is extreme, for 1 man there are 50 woman. Actually nowaday globally man population still 1 percent more than woman (maybe because in china female baby will be aborted during one child policy)
AssalamuAlaikum Yess you are on point brother This is the truth... my blood burns when these women say its oky you can burn yourself in hell don't obey Allah obye me wome don't know how man design how he manufactured only Allah's know he is the creator so ALLAH makes halal for man to marry multiple wives nobody has a right to change it ...our deen is completed and it's not going to change for anyone, any reason any thing When we say man can't do justice we all are humans not a God we can do our best with our honest intentions we can perform our part honestly and leave the rest to allah And plz all women Stop playing this victim card women card enough of it Just remember on the day of judgment we all will be running away from each other every one will be say nafsi nafsi just remember this Today the sad part is In this day and age man is so weak that he can't be honest to himself what is legal in shariha he refuses to avail it not brave enough to take a stand against wrong very disappointed In our deen mommin man is not weak I am a women i saw how this society turns into hell day by day not living our lifes according to Allah's hukam We all be questioned by Allah We all add our bit to the deterioration of our society May allah forgive us Ameen Hina Agha
There is only one scholar in this world that I know, in fact the only one for sure who is addressing polygony and the importance of marrying more wives is scholar from Pakistan "Mufti Tariq Masood". Wish u knew Urdu brother Gabriel. You would love this man Mufti Tariq Masood.
Jazaka-Allah khairan for this video. Polygyny is not an issue to us in Africa. In my culture, polygamy is highly encouraged where necessary, and women are trained to accept polygyny as a norm. It amazes why polygamy is frowned at in the West and some parts of the Middle East. I was born into a polygamous family living in the same compound with other families, and wallahi it was very fulfilling growing in such a loving family set setting.
Please note that polygyny is different than polygamy, polygamy is a wife or husband having multiple spouses . Polygyny is husband ONLY multiple wives. Polygamy is partially haram.
@@lancer.p1 Thank you for the correction.
@@abdullahimohammad9513 ofcourse brother.
@هرماس النمر 👍🏼
My dear brother where are you from that i can migrate to your country
I was in a polygamous marriage, but our marriage deteriorated because my ex husband could not afford to keep us both. I had to work and pay part of rent and and food whilst I had a small child. A woman will quickly lose respect for her husband and develop contempt if they do not fulfill their responsibilities and display lack of quality decision making. If men want to be respected as leaders, they need to start making responsible decisions too. I can't see for the life of me why enough imams are not talking about this. Why are imams not discouraging men from remarrying if they can't afford it?
I see so many men getting married whilst their wives seek welfare or state benefits. Why is this not being spoken up against in our Muslim communities? It's like a blind eye has been turned against this even though it's ruining marriages. Would love to know your thoughts on this brother Gabriel.
@Don Che close to 6 figs is good enough, I grow up in single worker minimum wage household, of i didn't get everything I wanted but it wasn't terrible. But yea I agree men really need to look at their income before thinking about polygamy
People think they were born ready to marry 4 wives, but you need to be a real man and not someone who can't afford to look after his family. You need to have the money and make sure that you would be capable of making both your wives happy, and take care of them like our prophet(PBUH) did. If marring 1 wife is stressful, having 2 is as twice stressful. So don't just chase your desires because you imagined sitting in a sofa with 2 wives lol, be a man, be serious, or else you're gonna ruin someone's life.
@@OsadeTOOT True. But most men who take this step only realise this once the noveltys worn off. And by then there's a kid or two in the mix. Damage has been done; marriages have been torn apart. Wish more imams spoke up about this more in our communities. I dont understand why it isnt addressed so much. Its like the right to marry is stressed above the woman's rights to be provided for.
I have a question ? Does the husband only have to pay for 2 homes in order to have 2 wives , when one of his wives may be doctor and she lives independently on her means ? I agree finances is good , but a lot of sisters are becoming career women and he supported her to succeed no he takes another wife how does she now say you have to take care of my totally and she’s making more than him
She wanted to go to work to have her own money before the second wife !
Polygamy does not fix men with perverse ideas or cheaters, I don't understand why men keep saying that, most of these men who do this don't even have enough money, so he'll get another wife and then get bored again and go back to their old habits, they have a sickness in their heart polygyny is not the solution. Practice polygyny but can you afford it? Can you handle female emotions? Can you manage being fair and taking care of their children because children are involved. It's a family unit not just some frivolous fun, it's a responsibility. Believe it or not men even prefer the haram because it doesn't involve responsibility.
There are more men than women worldwide so ploygyny is not a system that cam work ' it affords done men too many women while some brothers would not be able to pair cause some brothers have more than one .
There are 105 boys born to every 100 girls.
It's about time discussions about poluguny take this fact into consideration - There are not enough women for some men to decide they want more than one wife without depriving other men .
@@bimbobello8067 yes and how many of them are gay? Plus how many of these women sre gay, we're talking about the muslim demographic, and women do outnumber.
@@Onajourney519 so there are more gay Muslim men then Gay Muslim women???islamic demographics…which countries WRONGLY kill or abort girls because of preference for boys… the so called Muslim ones. You’re not being honest.
In 2020, male to female ratio for Pakistan was . Between 1950 and 2020, male to female ratio of Pakistan was declining at a moderating rate to shrink from 119.79 males per 100 females in 1950 to 106.02 males per 100 females in 2020.
In 2020, male to female ratio for Saudi Arabia was . Male to female ratio of Saudi Arabia increased from 103.06 males per 100 females in 1950 to 137.11 males per 100 females in 2020 growing at an average annual rate of 2.11%.
In 2020, male to female ratio for Nigeria was . Male to female ratio of Nigeria increased from 99.54 males per 100 females in 1950 to 102.75 males per 100 females in 2020 growing at an average annual rate of 0.23%.
@@bimbobello8067 even though there are more men than women in the world today, women do not want the atleast bottom 20 to 30% of men in terms of height and socioeconomic standards (especially this). This leaves other men especially men at the top 10% with more options than they can count.
It is estimated in the past in many civilisation less than 30% men actually had intercourse with 90+% of women because of this same reason.
I just found your channel. This is what we need akhi. Too many weak imams giving us only one side of the picture these days
@Black Roses hehehe. Jzk akhi. 😄
@One Punch Muslim Akhi?? Isn't it brother in Hebrew?? Is it same in Arabic ???
@Black Roses meaning he didn't learnt his lesson right hahahahaha or just has a sexual problem women around such creatures should be careful because all he thinks of is sex the moment he looks at any woman.
@Black Roses meaning gives advices on how to get divorces or how to use your wife for sex and dispose off like a tissue paper wowwww prophet saw is so proud of this horny alpha muslim man Mashaall-h
Remember knowledge is experience as well , we as Muslims are people of knowledge and let’s be real polygamy is hard work , I’m married for 30 years of one wife and it’s hard but good , so imagine 2 but don’t deny the strong men out there who are capable of it or who need it , cause you maybe a coward or weak or islamically not good , also most don’t need the roles of the husband and wife. Marriage is easy when roles aren’t confused period and when trust is built and when the attachment to Allah is greater than to each other
I personally have witnessed injustice though with polygynous marriage. I agree with what you said, at least the theoric part. However in practice it's quite hard. Let's face it: who has $3,000-$5,000 per month for EACH FAMILY to live a comfortable, not even luxurious life? Living in Toronto, you know that the cost of rent doesn't go below $1,800 for a 3 bedroom. Then consider Islamic schools where you'll send your children, they're usually around $350 a month. Or are we going to send out kids to public school so that they learn LGBTQ endoctrination so that we can satisfy or shahawats? Even if you could afford it, do you have time for both wives or are you working 50h + a week only so that you can satisfy your desires? How then do you do hijrah? How will you take two families? You're basically signing your fate to stay in Daar al kufr. I'm not saying it's impossible, but there are definitely challenges with this. If scholars have allowed the use of contraceptives in order to provide a better Islamic education to our children, I think polygamy is no exception. As you said, maybe EXPERIENCED khutab should educate people about this issue, as it is very different in our time than it was a the time of the prophet عليه الصلاة و السلام
Just $350 a month for Islamic school my is $700 to$800 in some places on the states.
I do agree
Agreed. It really isn’t feasible in any major city in the west, at least. The cost of living here is entirely too high. If your wives have to work to help you support the household, and if your kids never see you because you are always working, then you haven’t fulfilled the criteria of being *ABLE* to take a second, third, or fourth wife and treat them all justly.
excuses
Nobody is compelling you to do polygyny if you can't afford it. Let those who can afford it do it.
Why is this being pushed like all Muslim men should be practicing polygyny or else they’re not real men? At the end of the day it was a practice that already existed before Islam and the Quran came to regulate it with the explicit criteria of fairness and that if you can’t be fair don’t try it. Simple. Now this lecture sounds like you’re saying ‘guys you’ll never be fair, the old wife just has to deal with it, your needs and desires are ultimate so just go get yourself a new wife’. How is that promoting a harmonious and loving marital relation? we need to live for ahkhira not dunya so trying to invite issues in your life because you can’t control your desires for just your wife is living for dunya. Also if your wife doesn’t do it for you anymore and she doesn’t want to be in multi-wife let her go in peace. Fair enough to those who are fine in a polygynous marriage, do whatever is within Deen and doesn’t abuse another person.
I swear by Allah any married men trys to put me in polygamy marriages will be in hospital ameen.
@@JahannamHellfire okay so you would have put rasoolullah in the hospital if he approached you to be his second wife? if allah has made it halal how can you possibly object to it, not only are you objecting but threatening people who follow sunnah. there's a reason its allowed. one reason is hypergamy, first solve that before having an objection with islam
I like your statement more cause it's more balance (justice) to both side, i think...
Allah said: (2:256) famously declares "There is no compulsion (forcing) in religion... You take about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on mondays and Thursdays, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 Rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjud is a sunnah. The only sunnah they remember is to marry 4 wives... as Muslims we must fear Allah swt and not change the deen to suit our needs, unless we want Allah punishment to come upon us,
two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then one [marry only] from Quran...
And you will never be able to be equal just between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From quran from Quran...
Allah said
Verily, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and he forbids immorality and bad conduct and transgression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.
Surat An-Nahl 16:90
And Allah says
O you who believe, be persistently standing firm for Allah as witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just, for that is nearer to righteousness. Fear Allah, for Allah is aware of what you do.
Surat Al-Ma’idah 5:8
“A man who has two wives and who is completely inclined to one and who ignores the other emerges with one side of his body paralysed in the Day of Judgment.” (Hadith; Ibn Majah, Nikah, 47; Mishkat al-masabih, 2/196)
A woman does not consent to share her husband with another woman under normal circumstances, and no woman would like to marry a married man unless she has to.
It is a necessity of belief that polygamy is right. However, to believe it does not necessarily mean for a woman to consent to the second wife and approve it.
No believer father would like his son-in-law to marry a second, third or fourth woman along with his daughter. The jealous nature of the woman and the affection of the father for his daughter disapproves this. As a matter of fact, the daughter of our beloved Prophet, Sayyidah Fatima, objected to her husband, Ali’s marrying of a second woman. If it weren’t permissible to object, Sayyidah Fatima, who was brought up by our Prophet, would not have objected. The Messenger of Allah would have warned her and ordered her to consent to her husband’s wish. However, it did not take place like that. On the contrary, the Messenger of Allah, who saw that his daughter was worried, asked Ali to give up his wish and told him that if he did not give it up, he could marry another woman after divorcing Sayyidah Fatima. He did not consent to Ali’s second marriage to depress his daughter.
By considering that act of the Messenger of Allah, it can be stated that Muslim daughters and fathers may object to the second marriage of their husband or son-in-law.
@@JahannamHellfire wdym "no believer father would like his son I. Law to marry a second..." Did rasoolullah not care what so ever about the fathers of his wives? Did he not take the permission of aishas father?
The only thing that has come out of the last hadith is that a woman has the right to divorce if she doesnt want him to have a second wife. Not to condemn the sunnah of the prophet pbuh.
I was discussing this the other day with a friend of mine.. I noticed as you said a lot of married women would prefer their husbands do haram rather than halal.. that is an alarming situation.. I totally agree with the fact that marrying different wifes actually can be more relaxing to the wife and it could give her a bit of extra time to enjoy herself and do things that she lives. Plus marrying a man doesn't necessarily meaning he has to be home 24/7 .. I would be happy to have a husband even if I had to see him from time to time rather than having boyfriend kind of thing.. which works better?! Halal version off course. May Allah grant us halal and guide us..
How old are you.?
@@حوريةالارض-د8ط who are you? Why are you asking?
It looks like you have to much knowledge in shareea. that why you are thinking like this.
@@حوريةالارض-د8ط It's personal observations plus some knowledge of our deen. We are all learning as long we are searching for the truth and to perfect ourselves. I'm not that old.
@@yasalhemyari7629 my Allah guide us all to truly
I advise you to change your picture if you want to stay away from since sis .
Why is this narrative being pushed that if you don’t have more than one wife, you’re not a man? Men will always look after their rights and their desires, never the women’s and this is what I see in a lot of dawah channels. The woman’s nature is to be jealous and most women genuinely cannot handle it. If this is the case then just spare women from misery and go marry someone who’s okay with it. Funny how these dawah channels will never give women the benefit of the doubt or the margin for their desires. It’s a man’s world
Especially in these small channels.. it's sad honestly
@@tabiakhan9870 It’s really sad. Especially how the woman’s hardships are always overlooked and always put under a man’s wants and desires. It’s very easy for them to say “just control your jealousy” rather than tell men “control your desires”. They say this might lead to zina if he can’t marry more than one.... lol this narrative is tiring
@@nidafatima3266 I know. It's it's sad. Especially since women really do want the best for the Ummah but anytime you say anything that most of these guys don't like tk hear iregardless of if it makes sense they just label you a "feminist" and that shuts the door for any further discourse.
@@tabiakhan9870 because there is a reason behind it. Most women are getting totally brainwashed by feminist SJWs. So many women who call themselves Muslim but has a rainbow in her profile. Don't think that your sisters are angels. Lol they even try to scholars (this guy is not even close to that) while they barely know anything about Islam
Lust in men isn't as controlable as jealousy in women.
Sallam gabriel, this video really caught my attention, polygamy is a choice and indeed a woman can escapes from this if she makes the man before they married to agree not to marry again.. i know how it feels like when a husband wants to marry again as it happened to me,but again this is jus from my own experience, different ppl have different way of reacting to this, its like the world just fell down on you right infront of you and the depression was so great that you wont even eat or drink not even a sip of water for days, nights and days just go by like minutes, day in and out, the sun and the dark jus passes, you stayed on bed and didnt realise you were on bed for days... good thing that comes out of this is that you get slimmer and lose weight, maybe becus i had to sacrifice alot that time, give up my career, husband came in 3 mths or 5 mths as he worked offshore, had to look after my kids by myself most of times , 2 out of 3 of my kids had asma when they small,never stopped him from working anywhere around the globe, he had absolute freedom,tried to do everything a wife should, cooked,cleaned and served him breakfast which i never fail, but he stabbed me at the back,tell me if a husband spent half of his life offshore , does he still have the right to marry again? I was already sharing my time with his career..so i divorced him, now am 53, alhamdullillah, i had to start my life all over again after divorced 8 yrs ago, i worked hard and masyaAllah , Allah always there for me, every humans have partners, that Allah has promised, but i hope my partner will be met in jannah and not in this world,hardship becus of no money is nothing compare to hardship becus of broken heart and deceive and torture and mistreatment, men should treat their wife or exwife kindly as they are mothers to their children,so my advice to MEN OUT THERE, if you guys want to have more than 1 wife, makesure you guys not zalim to your first wife, as when she is being treated cruelly , Allah will hear her doa and indeed Allah will pay him cash on this earth...i dont have to elaborate more what it means by “pay him cash on this earth”
I feel greatly for you sister, because as a woman I understand what you must have gone through.
Although brother Gabriel gives some of the best advice on most other topics, I would find it extremely hard to accept polygamy in the context of my personal life. Br. Gabriel had said in one of his videos that women are very sensitive in nature (as most of us are too), but here he has not considered the huge emotional and psychological effect it would have on a woman. You totally commit your life to your husband who had sworn to love you and only you for the rest of his life and when you had wholly placed your trust in him and had emotionally invested everything you've got in the marriage, but then after a while he decides that you are not enough (or good enough) anymore and takes a second wife -psychologically, it can have life shattering effects.
Of course, if all the cards were laid on the table from the beginning and if polygamy had been discussed prior to the marriage and you had married knowing and accepting the idea then it would be a different case. Unfortunately, that isn't the case most of the time.
May Allah make life easy for you and reward you in the next one. Ameen!
@@faza702 Assalamualaikum sister, honestly polygamy itself is not wrong, but the men must know how to play their part very well, they must wash away their ego when handling women, they must be kind especially to the first wife and know how to control their anger, they must know how to help their wives with the home chores or in the kitchen, they should find a second wife who knows her place( this is important), my mum's cousin, she is a second wife, eventho she is considered to be very young compare to the first wife, but whenever i saw her going out with that woman, she never wears makeup that much and just dress simple compare to the 1st wife, i dont know why but i think she didnt want to look prettier than the first wife in order to look after her feelings and the worst mistake a man does is instructing his wife and have the mentality that she must just obey him and this is wrong...i can feel that brother gabriel worries about the women out there and should have men as their protector and polygamy is the solution, but some women can take care of themselves too, eventho it might be hard sometimes but who cares, life is just temporary and you still have this freedom and not require to obey anyone except only Allah...its more peaceful that way..once a woman marries, her children will become second same goes to her parents, its like you tie your hands once more , thats how i feel.
@@faza702 ammeennnn sister :-)
@@faza702 did you discuss polygamy before marriage?
@@aniqaliq7291 Second wife should know her place?
There is no superiority between the co-wives of a man.
Where did you read this in the Qur'an and Sunnah?
Or is this simply your envy speaking?
I will let my husband to have more than one wives. It will give me some times of being alone to being close to Allah and my kids. Also some times to go for a spa treatment. When it's my time with him I will feel better and look better. Whether he is just or not it will be between him and his Lord. But I hope that he will marry only with pious women though.
Allah u Akbar. What a refreshing comment JazakAllah Khair ✨
So you are just marry for money? You sell your body and your soul?
Then don't be upset when he gives her $$ and you live in a small house and don't take vacations. Or when he misses your kids graduation because his other kid needs something.
@@KS-cl8br she said she will let her husband take a second wife, not let her salve take a second master.
@@gabrieleborrrmann306 She said her husband, not her client.
I think why it doesn't work for some in today's age is due to polygamy being practiced whilst the man cannot afford any financial support to the 2nd 3rd wife etc. These men also encourage the 2nd wife etc to give up her rights and live in her house ( also a contradiction to their preaching that woman shouldn't have independence but its ok for their desires).
Its a shame that the salafi brothers have misinterpreted Islam that women have no dignity or are worthless to live off their wives.They are also not known for the good akhlaq with women and give little or nothing to the women.
True, some cases they dont even provide enough for their other wives and kids.
Yeah because only so called Salafi brothers do this stuff 🙄
Gabriel is Salafi. there is nothing wrong with Salafis. what is wrong with a second wife being in the same house?
It is her choice. There is not sin on a man or woman for that.
...and he cannot afford because people have great expectations regarding standards of living. Secondly, they live in the west to get access to certain services and standards, while they should live in a Muslim country a much simplier life. This is a reconstruction of the Prophet's saaw home. ruclips.net/video/B-Jg4wNQYHo/видео.html
Simple, ask the man if he plans to have a polygamous relationship, he needs to be honest if yes or no. Then the woman can choose whether to marry him or not. If he decides later on, then the fault is on him, not the woman.
Marry women who accept that sort of relationship, dont force it against their nature later on.
the quran commands muslim men to have polygamy unless they are unable to fulfill the criteria. how can you object to something the exemplar women of Islam did
@@amazingamx1255 so polygyny is obligatory on men? If so, how?
@@haya4228 not obligatory, just search up polygamy in Islam or quran verse about polygamy you will see. its not about marrying a bunch of women for orgies but taking care of the vulnerable
"women who accept"! What do you mean by this? If Allah accecpted this who are those women who do not accept? Are they denying Allah's acceptance and demand mahr? Hypocrites.
@@nahzik That's not correct. You actually can marry and first wife's permission isn't mandatory. Please ask the scholars.
It's a money issue today, men barelly can efford one house with the help of their wives let alone two, let's not talk fairytails here, real women would love an alone time to relax and get her energy back, but can a man take care of her and her kids and the other familly too? And we're talking basic things not a fancy life, can he tho?
what if he can, would you be ok with it?
You know what's beautiful? When all parties totally fear Allah. The man follows this sunnah kindly and patiently, and the woman bears her natural jealousies with patience and with busying herself. When we are productive and busy with good things and interesting things, we have less time to overthink and less time to feel sorry for ourselves.
And unfortunately men are not men today, most are not capable of having multiple wives, because it is VERY hard, you HAVE to be a top man, islamically speaking.
@@yasinfazley8313 the only reason we can't have more than one wife is cos women make it hard. Lol. So I would say women are no longer women today.
But I agree with the original post. Well said
@@OnePunchMuslim No, if Men were REAL MEN abiding by Qur'an and Sunnah, then women would understand and be fine with it, it goes both ways. Men and women nowadays lack islamic etiquette and knowledge. Of course women will make it hard now, because the men now are not capable of having multiple wives.
@@yasinfazley8313 lol. I'm sorry. But who are you to define what a real man is or isn't?
Secondly since when is understanding and abiding by the Quran and sunnah to some scholarly level or practicing Quran and sunnah to some extremely high level of piety, a criteria for marrying a second wife? According to who? That's right, you. Not Islam.
I'm not sure if you are aware but the only criteria mentioned in the Quran, sunnah or by scholars is FAIR TREATMENT between wives. This is it. The rest is your own insertions you're making up and have no grounds within Islam
And even if a man could treat 2 wives equally, majority of women still wouldn't have a bar of it. Stop kidding yourself. Especially in the west.
I agree, men and women lack Islamic etiquette. But I contest the idea that men are not capable of having more than one wife, they can but are afraid of the ramifications by the women of today and the western Muslim society around them because everyone has forgotten this is a sunnah as it doesn't favour them or their daughters and will do everything and anything within their power to stop it from happening. So the men just don't bother with all the madness.
@@OnePunchMuslim A real man, is a man who strives to be like the prophet pbuh, and the qualities he possessd, I'm not talking about what I think a man is 🤣🤣. The prophet is an example for us men, what's so hard to understand 🤣
*I don't like to say i encourage polygamy or forbid polygamy, it's kind of like saying it in a cold hard fact, black and white and there's no grey area... Just go to the extreme for things which benefit you but not necessarily justice... Giving excuse like a man watching pornography, have mistress, just to allow polygamy for the husband is not valid... Because it doesn't fix his flaw or weakness (the sin that he does)... And just so people know, woman in this day and age also watch porn and have adultery behind their husband's back (flip side of man having mistress) because of "their" weak eman... So does it mean that woman is allowed to have another relationship with man? (The solution?) This is just example if we put aside religion... Just another perspective anyway, not what's right or wrong... (Which I'm aware of). . Saying things like "man, just get another wife" to the husband, and saying things like "woman, just allow your husband to have another wife" is not appropriate... In some cases, you're actually allowing man to have flaws but woman to not have one (the perfect wife), and if there's something you don't like about your wife, the husband would kind of (subconsciously@directly) hint to the wife, i would get another wife, cause it's my right... sometimes man joke carelessly about this that it impact the woman's emotion and how they see polygamy in general... But woman don't have the same option. Again, this is perspective... So woman resort to "i want a divorce" for them to search for their own happiness... This is where the grey area come from... The internal problem is not solve, now people are giving solutions which is probably result to the wife being far from Islam, depressed and committed to other sin (maybe) and this what i saw based from the culture and context of where I come from... If polygamy is done the wrong way... Polygamy here is strict, if the first wife don't even know that you're married to other woman with her consent, the law will not permit it... This is to protect woman, the wife but it doesn't mean that man who secretly marry other woman didn't happen.* 😅
*Next, about polygamy in general... Is polygamy sunnah? I would say yes and no... The better term for it is: MARRIAGE is SUNNAH... and monogamy and polygamy is part of the marriage type... Why I emphasize on marriage is because I've heard man using words like "POLYGAMY IS SUNNAH" which is true but it also make me question: "so the man who are involved in monogamous marriage is not?"* 🧐
*Another perspective to look at, to woman and man, polygamy is actually woman's right (in a way - man pay for everything, the provider), Allah doesn't allow polygamy to abuse woman, to put woman down, to allow man to have flaws and oppress woman with it but to RESPECT ALL THE WOMAN, ALL THE PARTY (family/child involved), and THE MAN ITSELF. This is something some people probably can't see. For example: because some man approach the next wife saying i want to marry you but not saying i'm already married, so the other woman falls in love believing that the man is sincere not knowing she's entering into polygamous marriage, which honestly not all woman can accept... Or from the first wife perspective, the husband have affair outside of marriage but she didn't know (not zina but approaching), or they got married but the woman involved can't accept each other, and always want to one up each other... there are many examples but i forgot... The base is there is no transparency, there is no sincerity, there is no honesty, there is no coming to the term on ALL party involved but there is deceit, bad feeling, forcefulness.*
Continue 👇
*Something to add about the point RESPECTING ALL WOMAN - i got my conclusion and perspective by comparing different outlook. In Islam, all the woman (wives including children) involved, get their rights, get their respect as a woman, get their need met (physical and mental), and Islam already give the guidelines on how a man should treat their wives and vice versa... Also LIMITING the number of wives is a mercy to man and women involved. On the other side, when i observe what happen to woman in the old times where in European culture there is this status you call Duke, Count, Earl, commoner, etc... The husband can just choose to be with his mistress/kept woman after they have an heir with the legal wife, so the mistress can have as much gift from the man, but you and your child won't have inheritance, security, and respect/dignity cause you're just a KEPT WOMAN... And the legal wife are just wallowing in bitterness (force to accept the situation) or have her own lover, it becomes an OPEN MARRIAGE, and the children are raise by maids, etc as a pawn... 🥺 So where is the respect to the legal wife, the children involved, the other woman (mistress) ? On the other hands, when looking at ancient Chinese practice... Where a man (usually powerful man) have as many wives and concubine as they can, no limit to any number, i mean imagine 1000 woman in a harem and they're competing for the affection of 1 man which is their husband, and the husband choose which woman he adore at the time, so that 1 woman got all the love and attention and the rest just plotting which woman to kill, so where's the mercy and where is the respect to all the woman?* 😑
*Why I don't agree with black and white when it comes to polygamy is because i need to see the context and the situation... some woman just don't understand the basis of POLYGAMY, so they saw it in a negative light or just disregard it altogether... From SOME man perspective, it's all about the pleasure and having more wife? I don't know but i got that VIBE that SOME man gives which in turn again give a negative light on polygamy in the eyes of woman WHO don't want to know anything about POLYGAMY. Does that make sense?*
*I have been asked before, about polygamy... Just some questions about polygamy from a Muslim girl and i answered and EMPHASIZED that polygamy is not there to humiliate, put down, and oppressed woman, Allah make it so that WOMEN is RESPECT by man, and Allah makes it a Mercy to woman and man. I need the woman/girl who ask this question to understand it at the core so it doesn't affect their eman in the future, that's my intention. Another example of polygamy that i will give is this:*
✓ the wife probably got into an accident, so she can't fulfil her role as a wife, so she said to the husband, marry another woman but don't abandon me.
✓ the wife can't get pregnant, and both of them want children, so the husband marry again, and they share responsibility for the child
✓ the wife is critically ill, and she has a small child, so she allowed her husband to find a wife and a mother for her children
✓ the wife and the future wife is best of friend, and seeing that the friend is being abuse by man or don't have husband yet, so the wife offer her husband to her friend because she knows her husband is the best of man to also love her bestie (to man and woman, this may sound weird but this type of woman exist in this world where her love for people close to her heart knows no bound, and her jealousy is defeated by her love. To dirty minded people - NO, IT'S NOT THREESOME and disgusting things like that)
✓ there is even cases where the wife sincerely ask the husband to have another wife (not the same as above example) but the husband doesn't want it (not made up situation, it did happen) 😊
✓ there is also a good muslim man (generally is a good muslim) who on their part personally don't even want to have another wife even if he has the option and capabilities, not because he's scared of the wife or whatever. And not implying that man who are involve in a polygamous marriage is bad cause I'm not implying that... 😑
✓ and there is also a situation where a couple don't have children but they're happily married until they die (no polygamy)
✓ and a situation where the wife is not able to fulfill her responsibilities (some@all) to her husband after some times after the marriage but the husband doesn't find another wife and takes care of his wife because his love for his wife is greater than his needs
✓ and there's a situation where the HUSBAND can't fulfill his responsibilities to his wife and the wife have the right to divorce the husband if she wants it, but the wife takes care of the husband until they die because her love for her husband is greater than her needs
--- *so don't discount all these situation cause it DID happen and exist other situation that may result in polygamy or not. And i respect alll of them.* ----
*Polygamy is not a MUST, but it's a responsibility of every party involved, it's a choice, and it's an OPTION. If the option is there then it means KINDNESS in itself... Like you have the option to discipline/beat your child but you also have the option to advice and make them understand the right and wrong in a good way so you dismiss disciplining them altogether, like you have an OPTION to divorce instead of just staying in bad marriage (context and situation again), Mercy and kindness in having a way IN and also have a way OUT...*
*Some woman don't care for polygamy and consented/agreeing to it, in these case i see mostly (not all), that the woman is NOT the FIRST WIFE and woman and man need to understand, people see things differently, the way people understood things varied, and you may not be in the same wavelength and though eventhough you're from the same gender.*
*Now let's talk about LOVE ❤️, it is normal for human to want their own spouse and not share it with another, be it man or woman.. cause we're talking about your other half, your romantic partner, not your mother, not your father not your children (platonic love)... So when you know that your partner have another person, in love with another, what would you FEEL at that time? Obviously you feel HURT, BETRAYED, DISBELIEVE, JEALOUSY, SAD etc... That's NORMAL... and that's OKAY... you're entitled to it unless you're acting on your feeling to HURT another person...*
*Talk about man in a polygamous marriage being JUST, 🥺 I believe a husband can be JUST to his wives if the marriage is approach in "proper way" and with the HELP of his wives, he could be Just and the best of husband to his wives. Everything is connected to each other. Marriage in Islam itself mean worshiping Allah, in marriage itself there is mercy and love... So if there's no mercy and love, what's the point of both husband and wife marrying each other just for you to hurt each other? Loving your spouse is worship, being kind to your spouse is worship, spending time with each other is worship and many more. Muslim man need to remember that you're holding your wife hands to jannah, Muslim woman need to remember that your husband is your qawwam that will lead you to jannah. You're not competitor, you're a better half of each other, you're an example to your children about love and future partner. (People having mommy issues or daddy issues or choosing wrong partner is related to this).*
*In some other platform, i have seen some video with the speaker being male saying that in the future or even now, there will be a 9 good woman to 1 good man in his country, 9 vs 1.. emphasize on GOOD/QUALITY... And he said that it's not that the man is LACKING in number, but the quality of a man nowadays as a husband material is dwindling compared to woman, (NOT what i said) and factor like LGBT also contribute to that... hinting at POLYGAMY... so my answer would be neutral... I said that even if that all good man married 4 woman, there is still 5 woman who is single, so what about them? Do they turn to each other and become gay? In this case what I can say is, it's a test to women whether they want to get into polygamous marriage or be patience with it. It's their decision, and you can't do anything about it. So if it's not your marriage at stake, stay neutral and don't assume that polygamous marriage will be bad cause if it's done right, all the woman are happy, you can have a happy marriage. Same with monogamous marriage.*
*And if you're asking about polygamy with the intention to attack other woman on her readiness to accept MARRIAGE (polygamy), make sure she is actually married, and have better understanding of her situation and what she will enter.. if she's not even married, a single woman... I mean, bro, that's not how you approach it... 🤦🏻♂️ Woman who is single usually prefer their own husband, with not the added bonus of another wife and probably children, same with man preferring (virgin/unmarried) woman to a widow, not because a virgin is more special or worthy but because a widow, woman who have experience in marriage still have that memory of their husband to compare it with you, and some woman can't easily forget their husband based on the situation just like our prophet's wife before she marry, who love her former husband dearly and said to the husband if you die, I won't marry again but the husband pray differently... And our ummul mukmineen marry Prophet Muhammad saw... (I don't remember names, my flaw but i remember the story)* 🙏
*I usually check myself if I'm biased towards one or the other, so I like to stay neutral not picking sides but i don't know if I'm doing it right. I don't condone injustice towards men, injustice towards women and children, so all this perspective have some truth in it. I don't speak cold hard fact just because i want too, nor am i just being emotional... But i wanted to balance it... I smell your hurt, i can see it, i can feel it when i meet someone... And i wanted to know why you're hurting and Whether you need some rationality to your emotion, or you need some humanity and mercy to your rational cold hard fact..*
*I'm not into feminism, not into LGBT, not into adding the word toxic to the word masculine/feminine... I'm just offering PERSPECTIVE, and it is not matter of right or wrong unless it goes against Islam, and if you read this and it can expand your perspective on certain subject, i would be happy for you, and if you nitpick and still don't understand the context and the ground where I'm standing from, and pick on certain hadith or that, which i think i probably aware of, than i will leave you to your own assumption...*
*If Brother Gabriel is reading this, I'm sorry it is such a long comment and i like to listen to your perspective and your takes on masculine behaviour and what you're trying to portray, the message you're trying to bring eventhough people misunderstood, and keep up the good work on bringing masculinity to man, it's an interesting insight to how subconsciously or consciously woman or society are hurting man on a deeper level because of different way of psychology and communication between man and woman. Not toxic but align with the sharia.* 👍
Well said, I really appreciate this comment. MashaAllah May Allah bless you.
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly: plural marriage is Sunnah for the one who can afford it, and is not obligatory, according to scholarly consensus. See al-Mughni, 9/340.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: Is plural marriage permissible in Islam or is it Sunnah?
He replied: Plural marriage is Sunnah for the one who can afford it. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice”
[al-Nisa’ 4:3]
And it is Sunnah because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did it. He had nine wives and Allaah benefited the ummah through them. This is one of the things that applied only to him (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Other men are not allowed to have more than four wives.
There are many benefits in plural marriage for men and women and for the Muslim ummah as a whole. Plural marriage enables everyone to lower their gaze and guard their chastity, to have many children, and for a man to take care of many women and protect them from the causes of evil and deviation.
As for the one who cannot afford that and fears that he will not be able to treat co-wives justly, he should settle for just one wife, because Allaah says: “but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one”. From Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/202
Secondly: It should be noted that in principle, marriage may be obligatory or mustahabb, depending on each person’s situation and his need for marriage. Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to marriage, people are of three categories:
1 - Those who fear that they may commit haraam actions if they do not get married. In this case marriage is obligatory according to most of the fuqaha’, because a person has to keep himself chaste and avoid haraam things.
2 - Those for whom it is mustahabb, who are those who feel desire but they are certain that they are not going to do haraam things. For such people marriage is better than devoting oneself to naafil acts of worship, because Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined and encouraged marriage, and because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) got married, as did his companions, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions only did that which is best. And because the interests served by marriage are many, because it protects one’s religious commitment, and it protects the woman, keeps her chaste and takes care of her, and produces children, and increases the numbers of the ummah, and will make the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) proud [of the numbers of his ummah in the Hereafter], and serves other interests, any one of which outweighs the benefits of doing naafil acts of worship, so it is better.
3 - Those who have no desire, either because they were created without desire or because they were created with desire but have now lost it, because of old age or sickness, etc. These people are of two types:
(a)Those for whom marriage is mustahabb, because of the general meaning of the evidence which enjoins marriage.
(b)Those for whom devoting themselves to worship is better, because they cannot fulfil the purposes of marriage and they would not be able to keep a wife chaste, which will cause her harm and this means that he will be keeping her without looking after her properly, and he will be taking on obligations and duties that he may not be able to fulfil.
The evidence which indicates that marriage is encouraged should be understood as referring to those who have desire.
And Allaah knows best.
Looks like polygamy is only sunnah men know these days..cant even afford to support his children but looking for second wife..shame on them
Seems like you've been offended by men, i feel sorry for you
@@Ikhomjon u seems to know me alot😂😂
What about those who can afford a second wife?Stop blaming men in general for bad men
shame on you for posting messages disrespectfully on public forums .
You r right sister! I agree 100%
I agree! In fact, I believe polygamy is actually a cure for today's time though, I personally for me wouldn't like to be a part of it. I appreciate the topics you discuss but can you collaborate with some scholars to make the convos more robust whilst the issues are tackled in real time among us all together.
There is no doubt at all that taking multiple wives is HALAL. Nobody can debate or disagree with that. This is fact. We hear and we obey.
However. We have a huge,huge problem with a majority of selfish and cultural Muslim men in our communities. I apologise if this offends anyone but I have seen and heard this time and time again. We don't know everyone's stories and certainly sisters are not angels and in some cases are the actual cause of driving a good husband away (seen this before too). But, many men, in this socially corrupt society and who are Kim Kardashian obsessed, leave the rights and the wellbeing of their wives and children at the door in pursuit of their primal desires. I am sorry but these are the realities. No man will be perfect but brothers, fear Allah and know that indeed you WILL be questioned about what you did and who you harmed.
If you follow this potentially beautiful sunnah, for the sake of Allah, do it properly. Or face the consequences in your grave. And in your akhirah.
@Polygamy not for me! My Choice It's not your choice. It's the choice of your lord. You can't deny a rule for what has happened to you.
There is no doubt at all that taking multiple wives is HALAL. Nobody can debate or disagree with that. This is fact. We hear and we obey.
However. We have a huge, huge problem with a majority of selfish and cultural Muslim women in our communities. I apologize if this offends anyone but I have seen and heard this time and time again. We don't know everyone's stories and certainly brothers are not angels and in some cases are the actual cause of driving a good wife away (seen this before too). But, many women, in this socially corrupt society and who are Tom Cruise obsessed, leave the rights and the wellbeing of their husbands and children at the door in pursuit of their primal desires. I am sorry but these are the realities. No woman will be perfect but sisters, fear Allah and know that indeed you WILL be questioned about what you did and who you harmed.
If you follow this potentially beautiful sunnah, for the sake of Allah, do it properly. Or face the consequences in your grave. And in your akhirah.
@Polygamy not for me! My Choice You must not say Alhamdulillah before mentioning "fahisha" acts you've been doing. That aside, what makes you a better person than your husband, having a boyfriend? Maybe he is using you for the time being. And once he is done with you he will move to new one. He is not committed to you.
@Polygamy not for me! My Choice Funny how you don't like polygamy marriage with commitments and responsibilities but love to have boyfriend who goes to multiple women without marriage commitment, have all kinds of relationship with them and doesn't take responsibility. Hypocrisy at its peak. Maybe never will he marry you, will leave you with nothing.
@Polygamy not for me! My Choice Clearly you are cheating but not on him, on yourself.
Polygamy or not, the time is coming when a man will have to maintain 50 women, Muslim men better wake up, man up, get the practice of looking after more women in you’re life now or you will struggle later.
Kindly burst your bubble 😂, look after 50 what? Please woman are opting out of marriage plus woman will not outnumber men. They do not do so currently and they never will. The only time they do is in old age . Men outnumber men in 30s while woman skyrocket in 50+ . Trust me no woman in 50+ will be looking for a husband. Her son is there to provide for her. She can provide herself.
If a man can't afford to keep a woman then he should let her go
My husband has three wives alhumdulilah we are like family.. the first wife has a major role in peace keeping
Looool sex slaves
Girl as a girl living in Saudi Arabia even as started not to accept polygamy, wake up get yourself a real man
You can be so cool on this topic as you are a man and you can never feel the pain but can only enjoy the rights.
Can never feel the pain? We go through the pain of fighting our desires for most of our lives so just we can build ourselves and afford a marriage, we remain single for so long because of women's high expectations and cause no woman would stick with us when we're young and be with us to build our life together, and when we finally get there after so many years and we can now afford multiple wives you want us to be monogamous? Piss off. you take non of the risk and want all the reward.
@@Ystrly none of risk😂,women have to leave their own parents after marriage and hv do all household work and have a major contribution in raising children and after doing all that she is not safe to go out alone and stand completely independent cuz her life is like a jail ... one needs to understand whose mind is already pissed off to talk in such manner. May Allah help us all
@@quickenglish4350 where is the risk in that? You missed the point, you wouldn't take a man who is in the process of building himself, you wouldn't take the risk, and when he makes it and becomes successful, you want him all to yourself, let the man have a second wife if he can afford it.
@@Ystrly A lady,since she is born has risky education when she has to step out from her house,a mother risks her life while giving birth.Is that risking not enough bro?
@@quickenglish4350 risky education? Last time I checked education was pretty safe, risk getting our of the house? Either way those to are irrelevant to the husband, they're not a direct investment in marriage, the risk while giving birth is extremely low that's it's irrelevant, 20 women in every 100000 births is the stats, either way, women gonna face this risk regardless of the man you marry, the point is, most women take no risk in the success of their husband, they weren't there suoporting him when he was grinding, he was all by himself and you only agreed to marry him when he had it all, and then they want it all for themselves, if he takes care of all his responsibilities and care afford a second wife, let him have it.
I do agree with what you say brother if the imaams spoke about it and the women cared enough about their single widowed or divorced sister's in islaam that they could over come their jealousy and think about the reward they would get in the here after it could work also the men need to be fare responsible and just and treat them the same and not do injustices may Allah subhaanahu ta aala guide and protect us all Aameen 🤲😭🤲
Wise words may Allah bless you
Thank you brother for your push of honesty
All those sisters saying it should be stated in the nikkah contract that man can't have two wives it should also state you don't have right to man's house and earnings after divorce as islam prescribes. Most women in UK will go after man's finances on divorce which is Islamically impermissible.
Not only they do not accept what Allah decrees, but they even try to steal a Muslim's wealth which Allah made sacred by using man-made laws. The disbelief is evident.
Living in the west Polygamy becomes a unusual concept for us but as Muslim we must alter our thinking according to our books . Men are naturally different to women I think better polygamy then mistress which disrespect the women and her honour . Many woman fall into situation widowed divorced they get older love for your sister what you love for yourself . it seem the perfect solution if we could understand it sisters .so long as the man can afford and keep his commitment to both . I personally see it work perfectly in many relationships . It is not a weakness buy a strength in a women to understand this well and accept if done properly
Bro , love for your brother what you love for yourself - there are more men than women in this world - one man hoarding wives will mean some men cant get married -
If you love your brother then you should marry one so he can get a wife too .
FYI - there are about 105 boys born to every 100 girls .
Are you in a polygamous marriage or are you admiring from a distance?
No woman has to accept polygamy if she feels her mind isn't going the right way. Not every woman is made for polygamy .
...then she will have hard time in paradise, since polygamy there is the norm!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 i just can't accept polygyny, at least not for me,I'm so jealous and I don't wanna share my husband with another woman just i can't 😭
Same loollll
Same here sorry 😢 I just can’t I’m very territorial!
It’s a beautiful thing for certain people but lord it ain’t for me . Imagine him coming home and he just got done with his other wives sexually . I just couldn’t do it .
@@CookingItAllWithYasmin it’s more than just the sex for me 🙄
@@vanillapearl9986 well I’m sure but I was just stating a small part of it
I am ok with the concept of polyginy but have some insight:
Marry the ones who do not even have one wife yet. Imagine the struggle and danger of this situation.. If the reason is doing because you care about ummah and widows. Otherwise just do it but do not use this excuse. Say that you do it for yourself and khalas.
(using you but ya3ni talking in general not to you brother Jibrail)
Rasul as was in monogamy for most of his life, just a reminder.
Saying that men watch porn because they naturally need another partner is also saying that women who do not have a husband are naturally lead to watch at porn too.
But Indeed porn is nothing but a pervertion, far from the natural need human have. Watching other people doing zina. It doesn't seem so much so just because it is within 4 walls behind a screen..but think if it was outside.. Would anyone walking in a street or countryside and notice a couple so decide to sit on a chair and enjoy the performance or would feel embarrassed and walk away?!
If the Men do it right, it's best for both that men married second wife instead of going to haram.
Some From both
We fear the people and the society more than Allah! This is the biggest problem.
The title of the video is misleading. The title should have been in a question format like 'Is polygny relevant today?'
I think it might be easier in Muslim countries. But in Western countries, please consider children may be considered as illegitimate and may have consequences. I don't know that's what I have heard and gone on the benefits system if they cannot afford it. It is better to keep one incase you think you may be unfair to the wives.
Who cares about whether western countries think this or think that about Islam or Muslims?! Get out of this mind frame!
There's no Islamic law system that protects the existing of such a relationship. The concept of justice is very important and implementing it socially and economically is even more important and its too much responsibility for one man.
@@safia5002 it's not too much there are nen who can manage
@@ibrahimzulfiquar668 I didn't say they don't exist however we just put all responsibility on the men without any law system that makes sure to hold them accountable. The law system acknowledges all possible errors of monogamous relationships not polygyny and that's why it's more risky.
The definition of 'illegitimate' is a child born from zinaa. Secondly, in western countries a child born out of marriage have the same material rights of a child born from a marriage. It is in Muslim countries that different rulings are applied to illegitimate children.
Just curious if you have more than one wife?
I would divorce my husband if he took a second wife. If he wants a second wife then he doesn't need me.
There is this Mufti saab of Pakistan who constantly speaks about this. Virtue of marrying more than one👍
Mufti Tariq Masood
Ye he has 3 wives and like 16 or
24 children if I recall correctly .. he plans on marrying again lol
@@sarahjaguard6314 Masha Allah so nice👍👍👍
Mashaallah fulfilling the Sunnah of our Prophet saw in increasing the Ummah.
Men love polygamy women love one man..... Conflict...our natures at conflict
I beg to differ. I don’t like polygamy. I think women and men should have the same rights when it comes to marriage, meaning: one for one.
I’m sorry but what did you mean exactly?
Life is a test
actually if a woman marries a high value man would she even care if he monogamous or not? Not really. Do the women who marry a emirati prince who owns 30 sports cars or whatever, do they even care? The 4th woman he marries, she is marrying him out of her own choice not because she is a 40 year old widow who has no other choice
@@tahirballikaya213 Ofc she would care, I WOULD!
The comment section is intellectually so rich....Ma sha Allah
Assalam alaykum Ahki. Please do a series of Prophet pbuh marriage with each one of his wives
I do agree polygamy is part of Islam but I do not believe polygamy is a solution. My father heve 2 wives and still like watching porn at age 60 he should looking for another wife? and I remember he says he would marry again with rich woman and then my says ok(angry in her heart) he was dating, chating with the woman and my question is the solution? Iwas hate mylife and everything because of polygamy there is no happiness, and now his first wife want to divorce and my mom too so pity of him. I revert and I believe in Allah but I do not want polygamy.
I would prefer one wife
Good. You are intelligent
@@mariaray7614 nothing to do with intelligence. Men are usually polygamous by nature… especially ones with higher testosterone
@@CodnGta but he married with a purpose. Not for lust
@@mariaray7614 nothing in Islam prohibits marrying for lustful reasons as long as the rights of a woman are upheld
@@CodnGta yea sure but your reason will be cause of your district ion because beauty is evil without religion
Let's be a sensible women.
Men are inclined toward novelty.
Rather he indulges in haram
It's good to have other wives because it's halal. And I think hell is worse destination. One can't even think it for enemy
How a wife can think it for a dearie husband?
Both parties should know their duties and fear Allah.
This will work only if wife does not love husband. Then she will not mind anything as long as he keeps giving her money.
@@alghurraba did the wives of the prophet not love him then?
I would like to mention that the Prophet pbuh was married to one woman his whole young adult life, when the needs of a man for a woman are the strongest, and there is not one hadith saying that a man should marry more women so he does not fall into zina, nowhere is there such a saying, but many on men keeping themselves chaste and purifiying their minds. So islam is not filled with this notion of men marrying women do they do not do haram because they "cannot control themselves."
So monogamous men don’t exist?
Edit: if he watches pornography or gets a mistress it’s not my fault but his. I never told him to go against Allah did I? So why should I be blamed for it?!
@@trpmuslim4614 The prophet was monogamous for the first 20+ years so ill follow him not your pseudo studies....
@@trpmuslim4614 I follow the prophet he was monogamous for 20+ years......
@@trpmuslim4614 You can't maintain one wife you peasant........
@@trpmuslim4614 before you make such comments, did you forget that you’re only allowed 4 wives and concubines only IF you can be just between them? Because remember the prophet saw also narrated a hadith where he had stated that men who aren’t just between their wives in this world will show up on the day of judgment lopsided. And we all know that automatically = hellfire. So yeah going forward I’d think things through CAREFULLY if I were you. Also remember that a woman has ALL RIGHTS to stipulate a clause in her marriage contract to forbid you from taking a second wife as long as you’re married to her, and may also add extra compensation in regards to her mahr if you do so.....
@@trpmuslim4614 wow so much for enforcing the shariah, yet you’re not aware that making assumptions is also haram?🧐🧐
May Allah swt sincerely guide you out of your ignorance, hypocrisy and chauvinism (ameen). And fyi how’s it “feministic bs” if Allah CLEARLY states in the Quran “if you cannot be just, ONLY TAKE ONE”. Are you calling Allah swt “feministic” now? (astaghfirullah). And yeah you’re only gonna “ignore” because you KNOW I’m right, and you’re not man enough to handle all this let alone handle 4 wives and concubines🤣.
Jazzah Khallah khair brother, Gabriel for keeping it real 💯💯💯
I'm going to give this brother a break, I don't think he intends to be 1-sided even though it comes off that way and I get the root of his point.
My only feedback is that a man isn't a simp for only wanting 1 wife, if anything he's probably of strong character because he understands how much work and attention ONE marriage needs so image having 2, 3 or 4.
We must remember that polygny is halal which means that there will be people who choose that manner of marriage but halal is not the same as required. So it is perfectly fine for people to not desire polygny be it man or woman and it doesn't make them weak or simps if anything it might make them emotionally intelligent enough to know their own personal limits. It might also mean that they're responsible because they understand the task that you have when you indulge in that sort of marriage.
If more men and women thought about what the implications of polygny could be before they entered it then they'd be better prepared for it if they decided to enter it and we'd have more success stories.
But the problem is that SOMETIMES polygyny is a result of a man's ego and his sexual desires more so than his emotional intelligence or desire to care for an additional woman.
A man who enters into anything driven purely by what's below the waist usually hasn't thought it through and that's a recipe for disaster, not just for himself but for his Ummah.
This guy isn't a simp...He's a SUPER SIMP.
Exactly.. And they will never be satisfied
Yes, women's feelings are not important. If wives suffer because of polyginy, it's just their fault.
That’s what you took? Good luck
I saw many man,who didnt gave full atention and love to wife,but they wanted to get marry 2nd nd 3th.i thik 1 wife is enough for a man,and they both have to work in their relationship.but our muslim man are folowing their desires,why they dont fast 2 days in week,maybe they would never think ti get marry 2nd wife.why they dont folow other sunnah od prophet sws,they r taking only parts in sunnah which they like it? And while Khadija r.a. was alive,Prophet sws never get married 2nd wife,there was the reason why after her death he got married with more wives.
If you have money polygamy shouldn’t be an issue
Alhamduiallah Our lord knew the characters of women like myself , so he did not make this practice fard cause there is no way am sitting and taking care of the children alone while my husband spends time with other women nope.Also the no lecture ever mentions why the prophet’s ( pbuh) daughter are never in polygamous marriages in fact didn’t fatima(rA) refuse it, and didn’t the prophet( pbuh) asked Ali to divorce her if he was to take another wife. Am over this narrative that a man will cheat or go astray if he is not allowed to get married again , cause interesting enough the men who get married are older usually it is never 25-35 when they have higher desire rather when they become comfortable with their wives and feel they can treat them any kinda of way.As a muslimah , who follows Allah beautifully laws, I am glad I have a choice to divorce period .
Not looking to get into a back and forth debate, just wanted to clarify that Ali رضي الله عنه was a man who fought battles and had concubines. Theres a hadith that comes to mind that makes mention of his relation with one concubine. You can't impose modern liberal ideologies onto the past, specifically onto the noble sahabah and sahabiyat. This is known as presentism.
@@tasfiyatarbiya3194 provide the Hadith brother . Also I am not following any ism or whatever , am just saying not all infact almost all females will not or are not ok with sharing period , therefore we have a choice to end the marriage.This does not make me any less pious or righteous.
@@s0urbugz837 as Salamu alaykum sister, my reason for responding was not to tell you what to do in your life. If you want to not marry a man that wants multiple wives then that is your prerogative. You did however mention Ali's رضي الله عنه example as a justification for your wants and so I wanted there to be clarity in that regard. You can find the full hadith in صحيح البخاري كتاب المغازى
Narrated Buraida: The Prophet sent `Ali to Khalid to bring the Khumus (of the booty) and I hated `Ali, and `Ali had taken a bath (after a sexual act with a slave-girl from the Khumus). I said to Khalid, "Don't you see this (i.e. `Ali)?" When we reached the Prophet I mentioned that to him. He said, "O Buraida! Do you hate `Ali?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Do you hate him, for he deserves more than that from the Khumlus."
Sahih al-Bukhari 4350
@@tasfiyatarbiya3194 jazakumullahu khairan, i appreciate it . Now my point is that the choice is for the women without feeling they are sinning , if they refuse to part take in that union.
@@s0urbugz837 No, if you read the hadith:
1. Fatima RA was upset because Ali RA wanted to marry the daughter of Prophet's pbuh enemy.
2. The Noble Prophet Pbuh forbade Ali RA to marry the daughter of his enemy. A man cannot be married to the Prophet pbuh daughter and the daughter of his enemy concurrently.
3. This is not a matter regarding normal polygyny
The problem is is that in modern times being able to afford more than one wife is extremely difficult. The cost of living is so high these days that despite all the amenities that we have today, it’s often necessary for both the husband and wife to go out to work in a monogamous Union whereas in days of old and developing countries today it’s possible to support a full family on one man’s income regardless of social status. Islam allows polygyny and it’s a Sunnah, but only men who can truly afford to provide for more than one wife, do right by and treat them well can and should engage in it. It also can solve the problem of hypersexuality in some men and allow widowed or divorced women (who, unfortunately, even in western societies aren’t as desired) to have husbands. However, the caveats need to be acknowledged too.
It's not true at all . I by my self have two wife's elhamdulillah and I can afford for both of them elhamdulillah. And it's not about hypersexuality, as the nature of the man's and I witnessed as a man. But most of the man's are afraid to do because they are afraid to lose they kids and so on, so they do it in a secret way. Even the non Muslim have afares and so on.
The cost of living is so high, because people migrate from dar al islam to non-Muslim countries for financial reasons. And the sahaba never did that even if they were extremely poor.
Especially in the west, if a man takes a second wife socially the first wife loses all value. They find every fault and make fault for her not being Enough and she is degraded. How can a man expect her to have dignity in the face of that? Not against polygyny in concept but in the West as it is now?
"Especially in the west..."
Muslims shouldn't care about Western values and ideologies, period.
That's the problem in the first place.
They are not grounded in their deen.
"How can a man expect her to have dignity in the face of that?"
Did the wives of the Prophet ('alayhi salatu wa salam) have dignity? (May Allah ta'ala be pleased with them)
Where do you take your role models from?
Where do you take your understanding of dignity from?
Qur'an and Sunnah.
I have so many single good friends who arr not married and well into their age... Good jobs but no husband and children...i also got married 45.. No children...... How could the ummah have increased if men took a second wife to increase the ummah.... But No! The first wives don't want it Astaghfirullah
Your friends just have way too standards. I know more single men who are struggling to get married than single women. Instead of becoming a second wife to a high value man tell them to think about the men who are struggling to even get one wife!
It, can work but with me i ended selling what little i had, as we were managing only alhumdulillah. I was grateful for our family and what we had. But the debt and horror of people asking for money as our financial situation deteriorated.my husband became ill so i ended up as caregiver. When he was well he spent time wirh his wife but ate slept and took bathes at our home. I was sharply reminded when i protested , that he needed to be fair, that it was his house.i had no inheritance, unlike most women in our communiry, i had no personal income and i felt like crap. I am still reeling at the unfairness. I had not seen my family for 23 years cause they lived to far, for our small income. My brother hecame ill and died and i could no go to visit. So i turned to Allah and prayed and and prayed .o did i forget to tell u i didnt even know he was married. That said i trust in Allah
may Allah increase you in goodness and give you even better husband in jannah. this is painful to hear, Unfortunately bad examples exist
The most importantly..both parties need to purify their intentions first☝️
Ma sha Allah
Brother Gabriel at the start of the video ( 1:20 ) you said that prophet Muhammad(may peace be upon him)divorced hafsa (r.a).I assume that it was a slip of tongue.he wanted to divorce hafsa(r.a) but Allah forbid him.here is the report 👇👇👇
When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wanted to divorce Hafsah, Allaah revealed to him: Go back to Hafsah, for she fasts a lot and prays a lot at night, and she will be your wife in Paradise. Al-Mundhiri said: this was narrated by al-Nasaa’i and Ibn Maajah. ‘Awn al-Ma’bood Sharh Sunan Abi Dawood, hadeeth no. 2283.
Rasullulah SAW was monogamously married with Khadijah RAW for 15 years, until her death. It's strange that you don't mention this at all in the video. Please don't pick and choose only what you like from his Sunnah to satisfy your nafs.
It’s allowed only after 15 years?
Because the video is about polygny not his whole life .... Pbuh
@Black Roses of course it's permissible. It is in the Quran and part of the Sunnah. If a man can be fair to his wives the Quran gives him this right. My point is that Rasullulah's longest marriage was a monogamous one. If you want to talk about the Sunnah of his marriage be balanced. Don't pick and choose to give a distorted picture that doesn't accurately represent his life.
I apologize to brother Romani for my statement that he was picking what he liked from the Sunnah to satisfy his nafs. In reflection this was wrong and rude. May Allah and the brother forgive me. I don't regret reminding him to reflect on Rasullulah's longest marriage, the monogamous one to Khadijah RA, when discussing the Sunnah of marriage, but I was wrong to cast doubt on this brother's intentions and sincerity.
@@sssppp1773 he(pbuh) couldn't marry anyone with Khadija, she is one of the 4 greatest women. Just like Ali was instructed by rasullullah(pbuh) not to marry anyone with His daughter Fatima, again one of the 4 greatest women.
Correct. Well said. People only wanted Polygamy because of....
حديث علي رضي الله عنه لا تزوجوا بناتكم للحسن ضعيف
هذا من افتراء الشيعة يا شيخ جبريل
أرجو التأكد من المعلومات
Good work Gabriel. Until recently polygamy was completely accepted in many countries including non Muslim societies. It was the natural order of society. But in this dajjal age everything has been upside down, women are the bread winners, leaders, have the rights etc. Both Muslim and non Muslim men and women need to bring back these practices so we can restore the natural order of things for everyone’s benefit.
Women are bread winners since men cant men up to their responsibilities 🙄
What is wrong with women having rights ?
Straight up answer.👍
What about intimacy needs? I am a woman and I like to spend every night with my husband. If he had other wives, what would I do the nights he is gone 😅
@Black Roses how many women have you spoken to inorder to make that assumption?
@Black Roses why incapable?
@Black Roses I believe it’s just harsher judgement for women who actually act on their desires. To make men feel safe, I think women just play down their desire.
@Black Roses theyre not visually stimulated, they’re more mentally stimulated but they still have many needs, sex is only a part of that.
@Black Roses yess i am
No simping 🤣😂😂😂🤣😂🤣🙂
I think the main important problem is the lack of knowledge and faith especially women. They want to own husband but they usually forget that we can't own anyone, of course that can make them feeling depressed, underestimate themselves... Men should know also that they are too emotional, weak therefore they should be careful and marry two or three.. But they should just helping them in developing their self-esteem.
When I talk to my mother about that, she always tells me that women can accept religiously polygamy but they can't accept sharing his man with another woman naturally and she will make all kind of problems to destabilise him.
Thanks for the educational video, good luck everyone
Yes! And who are the ones left behind because of the weaknesses of these men and lack of emotional intelligence and want of jannah from the first wives? The widows and divorcees. Society then becomes a broken one. Quran does say one wife is better but has allowed for upto 4 for reasons which The All Wise, our creator has provided. We need the sunnah and Quran ways back into our hearts as true mumins to understand the NEED for polygamy from a man and woman’s perspective.
@@saybman7976 are you a mishap? You obviously haven’t listened to the video properly nor read my response which agrees with him - agreeing with polygamy as Allah swt has decreed. Unlike you, I don’t wish bad on my Muslim brothers and sisters - may you realise your wrongs and be forgiven accordingly.
@@ASwae I did both but misread your comment. I apologize. May Allah give barakat to you and your loved ones. Ameen.
Still one thing I would add is that monogamy is said to be better only if the guy self assesses himself to be unable to be unable to maintain justice. Which according to my understanding means polygyny is better otherwise.
How does polygyny work when the population ratio of men is slightly higher than women
There are more men than women ' so how will polygyny not lead to some men not being able to pair with women while other men have more than they need ?
the prophet didnt divorce Hafsa r.a. fully. Just to make that clear
Polygyny is limited to four wives and comes with obligations. It is unlikely to be a cure for pornography and mistresses, because of those limits and obligations, and because it doesn't have as much variety and excitement.
I think it’s the other way around. When you don’t put a limit to your desires you won’t ever get rid of this addiction.
@@metaknight859 that's nonsense. There are psychological articles about it even. if the man is watching porn it is a sickness and it will not be cured by marrying. he needs to purify his heard by making taubah and being steadfast in his word. that's the only cure.
Why does Islam allow 4 wives? Because early Muslim armies suffered many fatalities, so there were few men left. Marriage meant the remaining men provided for orphans(whose mothers, as most women of that time, didn't work), served as a father figure, and fulfilled the women's need for intimacy & protected them. Marriage to slaves was also promoted to help elevate their rank and allow them to have children and live a fulfilling life. All in a formal arrangement that ensured women were provided for in case of pregnancy and compensated in case of divorce. These marriages were about helping women, not oppressing them.
Quran 4:3 says this is if "you worry you may be unjust to orphans, then marry". Outside this condition, multiple marriages are discouraged :)
-67
@@ef2883 wrong Polygyny was already practiced before. Islam didn't actually come and allow it, it just restricted it to 4. Powerful, rich men used to have like 10-15 wives at those days. That's why it's mentioned in the Qur'an. It's only discouraged for men who can't afford maintaining more than 1 family which is like most men today because life expenses are rel. high.
And even if we consider you argument there are so many single mom's today or unmarried 35 year old women obviously young men don't want to marry them so polygyny is a solution for women who don't mind being 2nd or 3rd wives. It's for the greater wellbeing of the society, you don't have to practice it if you don't want to
Exactly.. This religious narcist.. He had no end... Lol.. Wth.. R they scaring women tht they will go astray.. . Lol.. Wwe aren't responsible for their Akhira.. Such men deserve to be alone
I'm an atheist, single, radical feminist and if I ever gave up my freedom for marriage, I'd want a sister-wife. Why not? Guys have a bigger sex drive and I'm not jealous. Sharing the chores, the child-care, the man... makes sense to me.
May Allah guide you and us to the right path.
@@azarovwraith6352 He's having a tough time with me. I'm a fighter. LOL! peace to you. thanks for the kind wishes.
@@calonstanni your welcome. I would suggest you just try and piece of advice don’t let people tell you what to think. Formulate your own view on existence by what makes sense. By logical axioms that can be understood by all. And give the Quran a shot, you may find something you didn’t know you wanted.
Dear sister ! Sex drive depends on hormones, there are lot of women who complains about their husbands because they have low sex drive. So that’s not true.
@@aslambiswas1405 True for sure. I was generalizing.
The prophet (saw) and the Saha as got another wife to grow the ummah and Mohammed (saw) did it for any reason but desires. Polygony is for widows and orphans
Where does it say it’s for Widows and orphans only ?
Can you do part 2 of best perfumes and fragrances pls
فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا۟ فَوَٰحِدَةً
وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُوٓا۟ أَن تَعْدِلُوا۟ بَيْنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ ۖ فَلَا تَمِيلُوا۟ كُلَّ ٱلْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَٱلْمُعَلَّقَةِ ۚ وَإِن تُصْلِحُوا۟ وَتَتَّقُوا۟ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًۭا رَّحِيمًۭا
The best example is that of the Prophet Muhammad Sallalahu Alayhi Wa Salam
Guys read the description!!!
Salam brother, Where is the gratefulness to Allah when a couple are both satisfied, mentally, physically and spiritually but still the man is not contented. How can a wife be righteous, obey her husband and be guided to the Akhirah when her mentor do not follow every Islamic rule? (Ex. Being physically close to his female friends)
Bottom line: Muslim men are allowed to having multiple wives, and women are Allowed to decide whether or not they want to be part of it. And let’s stop telling women that they just have the choice between cheaters and polygamists. Pious and monogamous unions should be normalized.
Muslim women cannot leave a husband solely on polygamy if that wasnt discussed in the marriage contract before. Women cannot divorce without a valid reason. And the only valid reason is if the husband isnt fulfilling his duties.
@@93boxing81 yes they can u need to study islam u can defo leave if ur husband decides to take a second wife u can leave if ur not attracted to ur husband anymore. Stop spreading false info about islam and really study it. Taking on a second wife is defo a valid reason to divorce him
@@GAXOOOOOTI yes I did study it. Woman has to have a valid reason. A woman knows that a man has permission to marry multiple women unless there is a contract. If she doesnt put a contract for him to accept then she cannot complain.
@@93boxing81 wrong we can simply divorce if we dnt find our spouse attractive. Divorcing hjm because he married a second wife is defo a legitimate reason lol no woman will settle for this. what u r doing is spreading wahabism
@@GAXOOOOOTI The only time she can divorce is if she feels that she will be sinful to the husband. But other than that it's not a valid reason to leave if she didnt specify in the contract. She knows before marrying that is his rights. Women will put up with a man that she deems high value and this happens all the time.
Jazaakallaahu khairan
Taken more than one wife is practically impossible, better to avoid it. Some will say but it’s better than going astray? Well then let it be known that when someone does something for his desire…it’s not same as doing something for the sake of Allah swt. No modern guy will be able to treat them equally unless it’s equally bad. In theory it’s an argument we can use that it’s better than cheating…but again it comes to the question of controlling ones desire. Rather we should promote the Muslim man ti become more active academically…..get involved in other matters like supporting a just cause/charity…Fasting….and you won’t even have time to think about another marriage!Allah swt knows best
Why should we control our desires if we are allowed to satisfy them? Also founding a family providing for a 2nd woman and her children is a great form of charity. And you are contributing to the sunnah by increasing the number of the ummah. Polygyny is widely practised in some countries. Just saying...
@@tahirballikaya213 Did prophet say to marry for desire or deen?? Secondly for 20 yrs he was with one woman in prime years.
@@mariaray7614 he saw literally said to young men to get married to protect their private parts or to fast if they can't
@@tahirballikaya213 So why can't that be protected wihh one woman 😂😂😂😂😂. That's yoir own issue not islam.
@@mariaray7614 libido of men is usually higher than the women. Also women have periods, pregnancy etc. So for high libido men it make sense to have more than 1 wife
Man it's even ok to marry 4 virgins...
I want MY husband to love only me and stay loyal to me and if he isn't man enough to do that I don't want him. It's not high expectations it's just the bare minimum to be loyal to your spouse.
And the ones who are loyal to only one woman gets cheated most of the time.
@@kaz9242 you're living in your world I live in India where monogamy is practiced strictly I have never seen a wife cheat on her man or vice versa. For me it's the bare minimum to be loyal NOT a luxury.
@@innominatesoul2277 why do you think there are so many prostitutes who have clients daily? Sorry sister to disturb your bollywood fantasy but that's not how real life works.
@@kaz9242 I would like to mention that the Prophet pbuh was married to one woman his whole young adult life, when the needs of a man for a woman are the strongest, and there is not one hadith saying that a man should marry more women so he does not fall into zina, nowhere is there such a saying, but many on men keeping themselves chaste and purifiying their minds. So islam is not filled with this notion of men marrying women do they do not do haram because they "cannot control themselves." And about the claim you made- only if you have weak character (whether a man or a woman) a cheating narcissist will find you and use your weakness while cheating you, this occurence has no gender or nationality. Good people do not do that.
Since in paradise polygamy is the norm, a man will have at least 2 wives, then one should think carefully in which place she wants to be in the hereafter.
A woman has the right not to be a co-wife. If this has been talked about BEFORE the marriage, both parties consented and it's something a woman based herself on to make a choice to pick her husband, it's not right! And this is the case for a lot of couples. If he wants it and he knows his wife doesn't, he should let her know so she can decide what to do. She has the right to choose as this was discussed beforehand and promises were given. Also marrying in secret is harmful to his wife, what about her? Doesn't her feelings count? Doesn't she matter also in this marriage? You think you're treating you wife well when you're doing sush a thing? May Allah spare me from men who have the same mentality as you on this point. ... that my friends is the problem, men abuse their 'right' and you Gabriel are encouraging this kind of behavior by giving this "motivational speech" for polygyny.
Actually man Cannot make haram what Allah has made halal. In marriage contract etc not having polygamy is making haram what Allah has made halal. Pretty sure that can be shirk. Also a man doesnt need to ask for permission from his first wife for second wife. This is like this for a reason, you may be unable to comprehend, but if you're Muslim you must believe this is either good or must submit to it and be patient and in exchange for this you will be given a higher reward in the hereafter. Also the prophet pbuh was the best to his wives and a perfect Muslim and he was polygamous. Men who have multiple wives are following the sunnah who are you to disagree
@@amazingamx1255 the other men are not prophet Muhammad although they already follow the sunnah. Muhammad was the best of man!
Secondly you should definitely tell your wife about this in marrying a second wife. The truth will set you free. This is to ensure that your marriage is harmony and based on honesty.
I have seen a lot of people marriage by hiding the facts.
And please treat your wife as a human being with emotion. As a muslim i know patient is our virtue. But can you at least be empathetic and tell her why you did this. Women are not a robot ya know
@@crunchybeatsia2112 i dont have to tell anyone anything unless I'm obligated to do in hadith etc, what are you saying?. men shouldn't strive to be more like the prophet pbuh? men should only follow th esunnah that women lik you are okay with? remember, an innovator in islam isn't a Muslim, if that is what you are saying. i thnk you are saying this from personal experience that polygamy doesn't work out, in that case some monogamous marriages don't work out either
@@amazingamx1255 of course men should strive to be like prophet. That's why you need to be honest with wife you want to have the second one.
The reason marriage does not work out in either poly or mono is you do not have honesty and trust.
How can a partner trust you if you dont do your responsibility as a Man and as a father.
@@amazingamx1255 I did not talk about making things haram while they are halal. You should do more research on what shirk is brother. A contract marriage is perfectly halal, do some research. Also as mentioned before, a woman has a CHOICE. From the beginning till the end. Being a co wife is not a must, remember that. No one should be FORCED to be in a polygamous relationship. Whether a woman accepts it or not it does not make her a bad muslim woman or less pious woman. As you said you should strive to be like the prophet pbuh as he told his wives about his marriage with another one of his wives. Furthermore it's well known that the prophet never married his wives out of sexual desires. He married them either to make alliances or other political/social reasons. For example he married a divorced woman as they were looked down upon and carried for her, also when he married his first wife (20 years older than him) he stayed 25 years with her (without marrying any other woman) before marrying someone else ect ect. How about men follow these aspects instead of marrying in secret and make a lot of women suffer. Soubhannalah.
So basically ..it doesn't work nowadays until,not just unless,you teach men how to be real men and women to love less so that they are less jealous and more acceptable of sharing their husband sexually with others ...right? Good luck with that
Why does Islam allow 4 wives? Because early Muslim armies suffered many fatalities, so there were few men left. Marriage meant the remaining men provided for orphans(whose mothers, as most women of that time, didn't work), served as a father figure, and fulfilled the women's need for intimacy & protected them. Marriage to slaves was also promoted to help elevate their rank and allow them to have children and live a fulfilling life. All in a formal arrangement that ensured women were provided for in case of pregnancy and compensated in case of divorce. These marriages were about helping women, not oppressing them.
Quran 4:3 says this is if "you worry you may be unjust to orphans, then marry". Outside this condition, multiple marriages are discouraged :)
-45
Personally I'll loose interest on a man hoe.. Lol
It is totally right to mention that men need have the financial capacity in order to be able to afford to have multiple wives but from my observation again men are being blamed for not being able to fullfill this responsibility. So let's think about at the financial situation at the house of the prophet Muhammad Sallallahu alayhi wasallam and if we do so we can realise that women should be patient too when their men are not able to provide them to the "standard". Allah test men with poverty sometimes and that test may come after marrying two or three and it is not always all about men's inability!. l thought this is the other side of the picture which is being left out.
Brother the problem is Uncle Sam won’t let me file my taxes. If there are any sisters that would like to help me in this endeavor, holla.
I’m glad you’ve addressed this brother. I think at the core of this issue is Muslim men are in DIRE need of Scholars who teach men how to be masculine. That needs to be the foundation and then you can build a solid structure from there. Alhamdulillah, my Father is an ex-soldier, a strong masculine man & that is how I was raised.
The amount of brothers I personally know whose families are being destroyed by their wives because they are too scared to demand respect is OFF THE SCALE because men do not talk about these things like women do. They suffer in silence but that doesn’t mean it isn’t rife.
I know of countless men who are good husbands, they work day & night to provide for their family & the moment they walk through the door the wife is screaming at them & even hitting them on a daily basis. These women are even neglecting their own children & leaving them to fend for themselves whilst they go out on shopping sprees. Then they wonder why he wants a second wife. Be thankful he isn’t divorcing you!
When the husband is in his true masculine role & the wife is in her feminine role, it makes for a more harmonious union.
Simp is the right word, keep using it brother. Lol. Call a spade a spade.
May Allah guide us all & bless us with strong male leaders and good female nurturers.
Well, if the society wants women to deal with polygyny and fully accept it, men should also accept women’s education and independence and marrying divorced women.Allah said it in the Quran himself, men won’t ever be just to their wives, there has to be at least one woman who’s gonna give up her rights and is gonna either have to work, or get divorced. Even back then, Sawda RA had to give up her rights cuz the prophet pbuh couldn’t take care of her anymore, but at that time it was completely normal to marry divorcees, so even if a woman in her situation got divorced, her life is not over yet cuz she could marry again, but Sawda chose to stay and take care of herself cuz she wanted to be with the prophet pbuh in heaven. But now in today’s society, it’s a shame to be a divorcée and men will retract from you as a woman if you are educated.
Asalamu Alaykum wa rahmataullahi wa barakatuhu sheik can you start some weekly classes that we can join and we are happy to pay for this monthly maybe we’re we have group class by you two - four hours a month.
The fact that you think people need to be taught this and accept what is unnatural and sinful is a form of grooming.
A woman can stipulate in her marriage contract that her husband can’t take another wife ! It’s simple!
And for man it’s not a fantasy it’s a huge responsibility, you have answer Allah taa’la on the judgement day. Don’t take it too lightly. Don’t forget she a woman also a servant of Allah she is not a sex object. If you can’t do justice you may go to jahannam.
Where did anyone imply a woman is a sex object can you watch the video ?
I would like to mention that the Prophet pbuh was married to one woman his whole young adult life, when the needs of a man for a woman are the strongest, and there is not one hadith saying that a man should marry more women so he does not fall into zina, nowhere is there such a saying, but many on men keeping themselves chaste and purifiying their minds. So islam is not filled with this notion of men marrying women do they do not do haram because they "cannot control themselves."
When these women are divorced and they want a husband they will be ok with it , when they are a widow they will be the ones complaining that knowone is marrying them.
Polygyny I don't like it but in america men have more secrets girlfriends or second wife like Mormon European & Hamish people native German 🧐😳
Messed up place that hemisphere. An entire village could exchange partners each night & they'd consider it ok
Who has money and time to support multiple households?
business men
Inshallah my 3 wives will be comfortable with everything.
Inshallah I pray so too provided you seek to help out widowed and divorced women too.
@@aishaz6552
Ameen, may Allah guide me, and you.
Inshallah you will have no wives.
@@KS-cl8br
May Allah bless you with piety, a pious husband and pious kids.
✌️
@@trpmuslim4614
Ameen, Baarakallaa hu fee kum.
May Allah bless you with many pious wives and kids.
Yeah right…… you have some of brothers who is giving lectures looks like a good Muslim brother have more then one wife BUT he come to his wife ones in a month or ones every other month while poor sister having feelings like any other healthy women… Kids … having kids but see them only ones in a month… sad sad today how some brothers using this sunnah …
Dear Gabriel, thank you for the video. As we know Allah has permitted polygyny out of his infinite wisdom and mercy because men are weak and like you said it is to prevent them from falling into sin. It will be interesting to see what happens when there are more women in the world then men as prophecized. In some countries I think this is already happening.
no the prophecied one during end times is extreme, for 1 man there are 50 woman. Actually nowaday globally man population still 1 percent more than woman (maybe because in china female baby will be aborted during one child policy)
In every religion!!
AssalamuAlaikum
Yess you are on point brother
This is the truth... my blood burns when these women say its oky you can burn yourself in hell don't obey Allah obye me wome don't know how man design how he manufactured only Allah's know he is the creator so ALLAH makes halal for man to marry multiple wives nobody has a right to change it ...our deen is completed and it's not going to change for anyone, any reason any thing
When we say man can't do justice we all are humans not a God we can do our best with our honest intentions we can perform our part honestly and leave the rest to allah
And plz all women Stop playing this victim card women card enough of it
Just remember on the day of judgment we all will be running away from each other every one will be say nafsi nafsi just remember this
Today the sad part is
In this day and age man is so weak that he can't be honest to himself what is legal in shariha he refuses to avail it
not brave enough to take a stand against wrong very disappointed
In our deen mommin man is not weak
I am a women i saw how this society turns into hell day by day not living our lifes according to Allah's hukam
We all be questioned by Allah
We all add our bit to the deterioration of our society
May allah forgive us
Ameen
Hina Agha
There is only one scholar in this world that I know, in fact the only one for sure who is addressing polygony and the importance of marrying more wives is scholar from Pakistan "Mufti Tariq Masood".
Wish u knew Urdu brother Gabriel.
You would love this man Mufti Tariq Masood.