Why Is There So Much Spousal Murder on “Dateline”? - Jim Gaffigan: Quality Time

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  • Опубликовано: 18 дек 2024

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  • @DylansPen
    @DylansPen Месяц назад +25

    Dude's standup has been stellar and crushing it for two decades now.

  • @robertbrandywine
    @robertbrandywine 3 года назад +458

    He's so right about the "They had the perfect marriage" intro.

    • @georgegraham9822
      @georgegraham9822 2 года назад +3

      Reminds me of Conan and Bill Hader talking about Snapped 😅

    • @houchi69
      @houchi69 2 года назад +3

      "You took a vow! Do it yourself!" Lol

    • @tinaperez7393
      @tinaperez7393 2 года назад +7

      Ha ha! 😂 yeah, obviously they DIDN'T so it drives me nuts when they open like that. It's like if you end up offing your spouse, there was never a time your relationship was even close to "healthy" much less perfect and should never have gotten past the initial dating stage. Blech! 🤢

    • @BeautifulSpirit-kf5ld
      @BeautifulSpirit-kf5ld Год назад +2

      There's no such thing as "perfect marriage". Marriage is a hopelessly flawed legal contract. Friendship is healthy; marriage isn't.

    • @monkeyboy92able
      @monkeyboy92able 11 месяцев назад +2

      I played this to my wife and she laughed now when every time we have a disagreement it end with me saying “ they had the perfect marriage “ and it breaks the tension

  • @bookwyrm247
    @bookwyrm247 3 года назад +369

    “You took a vow; do it yourself!” just cracked me up. 😂

  • @susanveleke674
    @susanveleke674 3 года назад +886

    the murder victim is always beautiful, everyone loves her, she lights up the room when she walks in....

    • @honeybadger1847
      @honeybadger1847 3 года назад +118

      But there was that pesky matter of the $10 billion life insurance policy...

    • @futuresite11
      @futuresite11 3 года назад +63

      Yep, blah blah blah blah blah, and she loved taking walks in the park....

    • @mardyneszelc9771
      @mardyneszelc9771 3 года назад +46

      I have thought the same thing, no one is just a witch, not many people really liked her, she wasn't very nice .....

    • @philochristos
      @philochristos 3 года назад +73

      She's not just any kind of beautiful either. She's a "bombshell."

    • @futuresite11
      @futuresite11 3 года назад +11

      @@philochristos Ha!

  • @haranguemeringue8957
    @haranguemeringue8957 3 года назад +366

    “Dateline went all in on murder.” 😂 So true

    • @aldousorwell3807
      @aldousorwell3807 3 года назад +3

      There are a lot of miserable housewives out there with too much time on their hands.
      📺🔪😱

    • @juandoe9694
      @juandoe9694 3 года назад +4

      And they are always surprised at the end can't believe what happened!

    • @St.Linguini_of_Pesto
      @St.Linguini_of_Pesto 2 года назад +1

      I am _HOOKED_ on Dateline.

  • @crenge
    @crenge 3 года назад +42

    He's one of the best current comedians out there in my opinion.

  • @neilsimpson8906
    @neilsimpson8906 2 года назад +40

    I'm a little insane with PTSD. But this guy brings tears to my eyes. So funny 🤣 and in a crazy way he tells the truth. Good to laugh again

    • @kellysong2256
      @kellysong2256 2 месяца назад +2

      Hang in there 😉 I hope you're doing better

    • @TerriPfeiffer
      @TerriPfeiffer Месяц назад

      God bless you! Our minds can heal! Promise!

  • @erinthesystem9608
    @erinthesystem9608 3 года назад +57

    LOVED the brief impression of Keith Morrison's unmistakable (bizarre) cadence. Morrison has this way of somehow managing to place emphasis on every syllable of every word, creating a maximum level of intrigue. He does this by varying something- is it pitch or tone or both?- to a greater degree than most people do, which does cause a person to automatically have to pay more attention to his words. (These will be invariably HILARIOUS.)

    • @charlieslak5585
      @charlieslak5585 3 года назад +4

      Also, he has a deep mellow voice, & doesn't talk very fast.

    • @breadoflifefaiupu8992
      @breadoflifefaiupu8992 2 года назад

      Nice word salad

    • @erinthesystem9608
      @erinthesystem9608 2 года назад +2

      @@breadoflifefaiupu8992 I don't know the technical terms for what Keith Morrison is doing (with said cadence, emphasis, etc.); I'm a layman. If you work with voices or with sound, you might have more a more refined understanding than I do of any relevant terms.

  • @TheFeliciakelley
    @TheFeliciakelley 4 года назад +252

    You took a vow, do it yourself!!

  • @andrew_owens7680
    @andrew_owens7680 3 года назад +44

    That was outstanding! This is some of the best stand up I've seen. The delivery and the timing was effortless and perfect.

  • @chipmunktubetop
    @chipmunktubetop 3 года назад +264

    He is SO FUNNY, I never noticed that he never cusses on stage.

    • @a.s.4914
      @a.s.4914 3 года назад +27

      Very few comics are clean. It's harder to do clean comedy. You can watch him with your kids, which is cool. Brian Regan is also good, and no f bombs.

    • @emiliaescobar7652
      @emiliaescobar7652 3 года назад +11

      He is so entertainingly fun to watch, Dateline Story, the way he tells it, hilarious!!!!!!!!

    • @randalthor6872
      @randalthor6872 3 года назад +9

      He's so classy! I ended up accidentally watching an Amy Schumer ( pig lady ) vid right after Gaffigan and was disgusted. It was all "my genitals smell sooooo bad" and "My genitals sweat soooooo much" and "I'm a woman and deserve respect!" lol

    • @redwingsfan3621
      @redwingsfan3621 3 года назад +5

      Yes, like my fav Brian Regan.

    • @timkingsemail
      @timkingsemail 3 года назад +2

      Funniest clean comic out there.

  • @choperchic24
    @choperchic24 3 года назад +119

    I’d love to hear Jim and Bill Hader discuss dateline 🤣🤣

  • @terribrown4178
    @terribrown4178 3 года назад +173

    Jim is a true master of his craft and a privilege to watch and listen to.

  • @buggiebuild1
    @buggiebuild1 3 года назад +192

    Only certain comedians can pull this off, and per usual, Jim Gaffigan does it once again, he’s just so sweet, as well as his wife and children😇✌🏻

    • @clinicaltranscription1190
      @clinicaltranscription1190 3 года назад +9

      “But Mr. Gaffigan was hiding a dark secret, even his wife and kids didn’t know about. You see his name isn’t really Jim at all.. and you’re about to find out, that whole Sweet ‘n Funny thing was All a big act.

    • @milliesecond102
      @milliesecond102 3 года назад +3

      @@clinicaltranscription1190 🤣🤣🤣

  • @sandragodfrey5805
    @sandragodfrey5805 3 года назад +131

    I love him!!! He's hysterical without needing to curse! 🤣

    • @user-jy3zl2vp4b
      @user-jy3zl2vp4b 3 года назад +6

      Have you seen the RUclips channel: Dry Bar Comedy? They are all funny and no cursing!

    • @heistruth2865
      @heistruth2865 3 года назад +3

      Yes!!!!

    • @Melidontcare
      @Melidontcare 3 года назад +3

      Who cares if he “curses” ? Go back to your cave.

    • @guard5thpch566
      @guard5thpch566 3 года назад

      CLEAN COMEDIANS BORE ME.....The only time I don't curse is when I'm asleep....and I curse the moment I wake up....

    • @BadCookWhoJudgesChefs
      @BadCookWhoJudgesChefs 3 года назад +1

      @E R That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Curse words are like any other words. They can be funny or not funny. It all depends on the context, timing, etc. Jim Gaffigan's favorite comedian was Richard Pryor. Pryor cussed more than a sailor on every set.

  • @Aint_no_senators_son
    @Aint_no_senators_son 3 года назад +540

    When there is a murder the police look at the spouse first. That's all you need to know about marriage.

    • @markbeames7852
      @markbeames7852 3 года назад +10

      Have you been taken downtown yet?

    • @Aint_no_senators_son
      @Aint_no_senators_son 3 года назад +4

      @@markbeames7852
      😁😂

    • @GwenMotoGirl
      @GwenMotoGirl 3 года назад +3

      😆

    • @oldwave6106
      @oldwave6106 3 года назад +9

      Look at the in-laws, not the outlaws.

    • @TimeSurfer206
      @TimeSurfer206 3 года назад +27

      Unless it's a Cop's wife. Then, it's
      "We investigated ourselves, and found no wrongdoing."

  • @zephyrjet122
    @zephyrjet122 3 года назад +35

    "that's part of my alibi..." Snuck in that genius yet again, sir 😎

  • @Ashery193
    @Ashery193 3 года назад +241

    IT ALWAYS STARTED WITH.."THEY WERE A PERFECT COUPLE"..THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW SOMEONE WILL GET KILLED!..LOL

    • @CedricsMom
      @CedricsMom 3 года назад +17

      Right. But by the second commercial break, they were both having affairs, there was at least 1 life insurance policy, and perhaps even a split personality type.

    • @Ashery193
      @Ashery193 3 года назад +1

      @@CedricsMom true!..It was always the pattern!lol..

    • @dewalt4594
      @dewalt4594 3 года назад +1

      Why all caps ???

    • @breed187
      @breed187 3 года назад +2

      They had it all. They were living in a trailer in the bottom of a trash dump and had only tried to divorce twice. They only lost one car And he was about to find work again. They were the perfect couple

    • @CathRas95
      @CathRas95 3 года назад +1

      And they aleays tell us that they "had a great house". Makes me glad I have an average house.

  • @Tom-yd1ur
    @Tom-yd1ur 3 года назад +259

    Jim starts talking about Dateline...I start picturing Bill Hader doing his Keith Morrison imitation.

    • @fowlkeskm
      @fowlkeskm 3 года назад +2

      Lol

    • @773SleepyHollow
      @773SleepyHollow 3 года назад +10

      Keith Morrison is Matthew Perry's stepfather. Remember this fact, remember it always.

    • @Tom-yd1ur
      @Tom-yd1ur 3 года назад +2

      @@773SleepyHollow So Keith is married to Morgan Fairchild😛, nice.

    • @timothyblevins6928
      @timothyblevins6928 3 года назад +5

      Hader nailed it perfectly. I've watched it at least 50 times. 😆

    • @danield679
      @danield679 3 года назад +3

      ooooOOOOHHHHHHHoooooooo...

  • @michaelrandle8316
    @michaelrandle8316 3 года назад +12

    I have just heard this man's stand-up just today, and I will admit that I had no idea he is that funny. I've been aware of him for years due to his acting roles. His murder jokes from this clip are the highlight of my day.

  • @AmasaTony81947
    @AmasaTony81947 3 года назад +145

    Not only is the spouse the overwhelmingly first choice as a murder suspect, 80 or 90% of murders are committed by relatives or friends. There may be an equally strong case in favor of becoming a hermit.

    • @williammay2332
      @williammay2332 3 года назад +19

      That's why you usually hear "old" and "hermit" used together.

    • @isabelnecessary9416
      @isabelnecessary9416 2 года назад +1

      Yes!!

    • @St.Linguini_of_Pesto
      @St.Linguini_of_Pesto 2 года назад +2

      🤣🤣🤣 I'm bringing my plushies, though.
      And a lifetime supply of peanut butter cups.

  • @andreakaniecki7250
    @andreakaniecki7250 3 года назад +10

    Are you serious a Jim Gaffigan channel?! this day can't get any better. 😂

  • @INFJparadox
    @INFJparadox 3 года назад +63

    I love Jim! He's so freakin funny :)

  • @stevewyche5232
    @stevewyche5232 3 года назад +94

    "I don't value your time" - He was being a doctor

  • @christianmeglio9111
    @christianmeglio9111 3 года назад +96

    Years ago, when few knew about this guy and he started to play the theaters, I was able to get front row tickets for 30 bucks a ticket. He signed my hot pockets box.

    • @snicky58
      @snicky58 3 года назад +5

      That's hilarious! His "Hot Pockets!" bit will probably be an earworm for the rest of the day. 😂

    • @steveswangler6373
      @steveswangler6373 3 года назад +4

      wait, you paid $30 to see an unknown? wow.

    • @christianmeglio9111
      @christianmeglio9111 3 года назад

      @@steveswangler6373 I knew about him. And the 30 was for the front row. He was not a total unknown. But again, this was a theater and not a club.

    • @ABB14-11
      @ABB14-11 3 года назад

      Must be cool to have seen him blow up

    • @finddeniro
      @finddeniro 3 года назад

      I played a Theater. .
      I was Beaten and Arrested..
      Law Suit too. They hated my Clothes...
      Kidding ...

  • @miketillery6443
    @miketillery6443 3 года назад +361

    If they ever do a Phillip Seymour Hoffman bio pic, I think Jim Gaffigan would be perfect.

    • @markbeames7852
      @markbeames7852 3 года назад

      Why not get Phillip Seymour Hoffman?

    • @sothisispermanence1898
      @sothisispermanence1898 3 года назад +5

      @@markbeames7852 💀

    • @markbeames7852
      @markbeames7852 3 года назад

      @@sothisispermanence1898 how do you know?

    • @sothisispermanence1898
      @sothisispermanence1898 3 года назад +7

      @@markbeames7852 just a hunch?

    • @nathanbranson9149
      @nathanbranson9149 3 года назад +3

      Actually Jim Gaffigain starred in a movie called "In Cold Blood" which is biopic about Truman Capote, a weirdo writer who was obsessed with some murderers.

  • @timothyamaraobrien
    @timothyamaraobrien 4 года назад +296

    He murdered that audience.

    • @hootiegabriel9200
      @hootiegabriel9200 4 года назад +3

      😂

    • @mb5ggX2SyFMM
      @mb5ggX2SyFMM 3 года назад +1

      Please listen again to the video. The laughter sounds like pre-recordings. If you've ever been to a live comedy show, everyone doesn't laugh on queue nor stop on queue.🤔

    • @geraldfrost4710
      @geraldfrost4710 3 года назад

      His jokes were on point. Totally killed it.

  • @toad4ever103
    @toad4ever103 3 года назад +7

    Jim can always make me laugh. Thanks, Jim. Keep it coming.

  • @TerryB751
    @TerryB751 3 года назад +16

    Time for a smarmy "Oh my" from Keith Morrison. 😁

  • @idothisforfun1300
    @idothisforfun1300 4 года назад +268

    "Dateline makes it seems like all marriages end in murder right?"
    Murderer in the crowd: "I know right 😅"

    • @emmanuel.n8458
      @emmanuel.n8458 3 года назад +2

      How u knw the person in the crowd is a murderer?

    • @yourhero782
      @yourhero782 3 года назад +3

      @@emmanuel.n8458 Are you serious🤨🤨🤨

    • @travisjazzbo3490
      @travisjazzbo3490 3 года назад +1

      @@batissta44 AT LEAST... Operative words!

    • @batissta44
      @batissta44 3 года назад +3

      @@emmanuel.n8458 I would bet that there's at least one person in that crowd who either thinks about killing their spouse or is actually planning on killing their spouse.

  • @alexandrahenderson6659
    @alexandrahenderson6659 4 года назад +36

    My husband n I have been together for almost 9 years now and only watch crime shows because we only have basic cable right now and we joke about this all the time... 🤩

    • @foreroa
      @foreroa 3 года назад +4

      Same with my wife. We stopped saying " wanna watch Dateline tonight?" and now we say "Wanna watch Murder tonight?"

    • @anniefannycharles9951
      @anniefannycharles9951 3 года назад

      Good luck....

  • @honeybadger1847
    @honeybadger1847 3 года назад +71

    It’s the life insurance policies and cell phones that always trip up these murderers.

    • @obey2dmax
      @obey2dmax 3 года назад +4

      Cellular Towers can triangulate your calls to locate your whereabouts while Life Insurance discussions with your spouse all of a sudden comes about when budgeting your finances so those maybe precursors. 😆

    • @emansnas
      @emansnas 3 года назад +1

      Along of course with their 'I'm so smart' attitude. Which cops notice right away, along with the smell of guilt.

    • @RaquelSantos-hj1mq
      @RaquelSantos-hj1mq 3 года назад +5

      Don't forget internet history.

    • @honeybadger1847
      @honeybadger1847 3 года назад +4

      Raquel SH Yes!! Never a good idea to google “antifreeze toxicity.”

    • @sandyo1063
      @sandyo1063 3 года назад

      The girlfriend on the side is also a hint to move away to another town as soon as possible.

  • @jerryturner2310
    @jerryturner2310 3 года назад +21

    "They had the perfect marriage...or so it seemed."
    "They were the perfect couple...or were they?"

  • @Maya-ln1os
    @Maya-ln1os 3 года назад +56

    I saw that exact episode of Dateline he is talking about!

    • @arock7462
      @arock7462 3 года назад

      Of course you did

    • @anniefannycharles9951
      @anniefannycharles9951 3 года назад

      Me too

    • @proud2bpagan
      @proud2bpagan 3 года назад

      they dropped acid...so..we've been using sodium pentathol unnecessarily as a truth serum all this time, huh?

  • @elliesings9508
    @elliesings9508 4 года назад +127

    If you're unfamiliar or have a life...
    😆

  • @bridgeman11
    @bridgeman11 4 года назад +575

    When someone makes a live-action version of The Simpsons, I have a suggestion as to who should play Homer.

    • @bridgeman11
      @bridgeman11 4 года назад +8

      @Ixa TV yeah I can see that. Goodman does look more like Homer but now a little old for it.

    • @crtinde
      @crtinde 3 года назад +2

      haha! perfect!

    • @dirtyglovekennels616
      @dirtyglovekennels616 3 года назад +19

      He probably can play Chief Wiggum

    • @linshanhsiang
      @linshanhsiang 3 года назад +5

      Nope. Way too smart to play Homer.

    • @Daniel-xu6kd
      @Daniel-xu6kd 3 года назад +3

      they musnt ever do that. would be ridiculous.

  • @uatu3021
    @uatu3021 3 года назад +55

    I like that the stripper had a better set of morals, it confirms my suspicions about what "upstanding members of society" are really like.

  • @ithacacomments4811
    @ithacacomments4811 3 года назад +87

    Billy Graham's wife was once asked if she ever considered divorcing Pastor Graham.
    "Divorce", no, murder, yes!"

    • @jadedchick.4352
      @jadedchick.4352 3 года назад +3

      I remember hearing Kathie Lee Gifford, saying that on Regis and Kathie Lee.

    • @wartgin
      @wartgin 3 года назад +1

      It's older than that. Jack Benny used it about his wife and my mom had remembered a famous movie star using it as well. Can't remember who but since she told me in late 70s and I got the impression the interview was at least 10 or 20 years before that maybe it was along the lines of Liv Ullmann, Jessica Tandy, Joanne Woodward or someone else from an earlier era.

    • @heistruth2865
      @heistruth2865 3 года назад +1

      Hahaha wow

  • @FUry13131
    @FUry13131 3 года назад +9

    My favourite Jim act is the self-critic he does in that whispering voice.

  • @GnomaticReverie
    @GnomaticReverie 4 года назад +175

    We totally did the spicy ice cream thing to our toddler!

    • @bootaroshoejo7210
      @bootaroshoejo7210 4 года назад +19

      Oh so you're not supposed to put actual spice in the ice cream to put them off?
      Shiiiiiiiiiiiii

    • @strawberrygirlvideos
      @strawberrygirlvideos 4 года назад +3

      Hilarious 😂

    • @lissalack1490
      @lissalack1490 4 года назад +1

      A great idea😄

    • @pamelajordan2890
      @pamelajordan2890 3 года назад +2

      They didn't believe you just felt sorry for you they knew you needed the ice more.😺😆

    • @HalfCrazy520
      @HalfCrazy520 3 года назад +2

      We would have something on the counter, like cookies or whatever, and the kids would see them and get excited... I would say, "Don't eat those! They taste like soap. Seriously, those are going in the trash, they're terrible." and when the kids went to sleep, we would eat them.

  • @ShellyAuen
    @ShellyAuen 3 года назад +31

    ....then they went on a hike in the Colorado mountains. Only Fred returned. Susie was nowhere to be found.

    • @honeybadger1847
      @honeybadger1847 3 года назад +3

      Susie was still in a full-body cast from falling (hmmm) beneath a train several months before, but she desperately needed fresh air. Maybe it would help with uncontrolled seizures (hmmm) that began when the family piano crashed through the window and fell on her head.

    • @hammie1989
      @hammie1989 3 года назад +1

      This hits differently now 😳

  • @CelestialWriter01
    @CelestialWriter01 3 года назад +7

    I love this!! I hope to see him live in the coming months.

  • @danielhamilton3317
    @danielhamilton3317 3 года назад +9

    He's very quirky in a funny way. I enjoy Jim talking about his family. And the way he talks about life in general.

  • @Bruh-vs1qv
    @Bruh-vs1qv 3 года назад +6

    “It’s the dishonesty that bothers me”😂

  • @dianekeane7740
    @dianekeane7740 3 года назад +32

    Absolutely, when it comes to marriage, child rearing and of course, murder, lying is imperative.

  • @camcoulter5993
    @camcoulter5993 3 года назад +5

    So funny and clever. His soft asides as an audience member are great. He takes ordinary things and makes them funny.

  • @jeanharper9683
    @jeanharper9683 3 года назад +11

    You and your wife make a great team. I know you'll never murder her, because you have all those kids! I love your work.

    • @toad4ever103
      @toad4ever103 3 года назад +4

      You just gave him another alibi.

    • @JG-of8hg
      @JG-of8hg 3 года назад +2

      Must be a fake YT account. Part of some grander plan.

    • @MHLegacy
      @MHLegacy 2 года назад +2

      Crime-Drama Voiceover Narration: "Among those most shocked by Gaffigan's horrific murder spree was long-time fan Jean Harper..."
      Off-Screen Reporter: "You once said, to Jim, "I know you'll never murder her," meaning his wife..."
      Jean Harper: (nodding)
      Off-Screen Reporter: "Knowing now that Jim Gaffigan is one of the most prolific serial killers in history, do you...regret saying that?"
      Jean Harper: "Maybe they all died from laughter?"
      Off-Screen Reporter: "Even if someone died laughing...and that's a big if...laughter doesn't get people chopped up and disposed of a piece at a time in cities that coincide with a Comedy Tour entitled 'Dead Body Disposal by Jim Gaffigan.'"
      Jean Harper: "With the exception of the word "never," I stand by my statement."
      Off-Screen Reporter: "Wait, wait, wait, Jean... you stand by it?"
      Jean Harper: " Aside from the mistake of the word 'never,' my statement was 100 percent correct."
      😉😅

  • @tommunyon2874
    @tommunyon2874 4 года назад +59

    I rhetorically posed to my coworkers if there was a reason to be concerned once married couples started watching shows about spousal murder. That elicited lots of knowing looks, coupled with laughter.

  • @morganlondon06
    @morganlondon06 4 года назад +57

    Jim Gaffigan is the goat of pg rated comedy!

    • @TheSportsCore
      @TheSportsCore 4 года назад +3

      How is making murder jokes pg rated? It doesn't make sense to me that people think murder is a less disturbing subject than sex.

    • @joeshmoe9233
      @joeshmoe9233 4 года назад +1

      @@TheSportsCore you don't seem to care about Allen Iverson's record setting body count during his famous killing spree at the Beechwood Shopping Mall back in 2004. GTFO of here with your pious hypocrisy.

    • @TheSportsCore
      @TheSportsCore 4 года назад

      @@joeshmoe9233 Your comment doesn't make any sense, it starts with false information and ends with a senseless connection to what I said. Try harder next time you want to troll someone.

    • @joeshmoe9233
      @joeshmoe9233 4 года назад +1

      @@TheSportsCore Still trying to pretend it didn't happen? It's no wonder your wife left you. Between these denials and all the hookers, it's amazing she stayed as long as she did.

    • @TheSportsCore
      @TheSportsCore 4 года назад +1

      @@joeshmoe9233 Nice try, but you are getting even worse at your trolling attempts, maybe you should just retire now.

  • @phoebeeuphoric6522
    @phoebeeuphoric6522 3 года назад +4

    Every second of this is pure gold ahahaha

  • @stephanieharries7746
    @stephanieharries7746 2 года назад +3

    He's a brilliant comedian and also I like the fact he's clean.
    You can still be young and appreciate the comedy of Bob Hope and his timing reminds me of him

  • @Carlospjr
    @Carlospjr 3 года назад +56

    When I watch Dateline, my wife looks at me and says “ Taking tips? Getting ideas? “with a real angry 👀 look. Really hard to go to sleep after that.

    • @robertnicholls9917
      @robertnicholls9917 3 года назад +8

      Projection, she's plotting.

    • @ld3511
      @ld3511 3 года назад

      Hmm sounds like the line of questioning from my old man! :) Take care!

    • @dormantmenace
      @dormantmenace 3 года назад +2

      You might be a woman identifying as a man ... if your watching murder shows. Statistically woman account for the majority of thier viewers.

    • @ld3511
      @ld3511 3 года назад +1

      @@dormantmenace Possibly but oddly enough not the majority of murderers! Take care!

    • @RH-tv9hk
      @RH-tv9hk 3 года назад

      That's too funny. Actor Mark Consuelos said he was once disturbed that his wife was watching "Snapped" so intently. He said when he saw her hours later, she was still watching, "and now she's taking notes." 🤣

  • @jasminehouston-burns1691
    @jasminehouston-burns1691 4 года назад +61

    He's slightly wrong about the murder/lying thing. I also watch a lot of crime shows, and people say things like ".....and they didn't even have the decency to xyz," and I just think, "Ma'am ....this guy just murdered somebody, on purpose, I think we're pretty far past decency." So yeah, people do get offended by stuff like that, like, what are you supposed to do, murder someone and *then* tell the truth? Seems like the wrong time to do that.

    • @rustinstardust2094
      @rustinstardust2094 3 года назад +4

      And I think that applies a lot to what could appear to be an accident. Like if it looks like he may have pushed her too hard during a fight and she fell & hit her head. People will look at that and say, "he should have just come clean and admitted what he did, instead of burying her body in the backyard."

    • @kateyare4708
      @kateyare4708 3 года назад +1

      @@rustinstardust2094 Pushing someone too hard during a fight, causing her to fall and hit her head, resulting in her death is not an accident.

    • @IzzyKawaiichi
      @IzzyKawaiichi 3 года назад

      @@rustinstardust2094 That's either second-degree murder or voluntary manslaughter depending on why they were fighting in the first place.

    • @greywolf7577
      @greywolf7577 3 года назад

      @@kateyare4708 Pushing someone too hard isn't an accident, but the killing part would be an accident in that scenario.

    • @morganophelia5963
      @morganophelia5963 3 года назад +1

      To be honest STFU your ruining the joke 😂

  • @jeremysmetana8583
    @jeremysmetana8583 3 года назад +15

    Or... "It was a quiet town, where no one ever thought this could happen..." Only, it happens mostly in those small towns, so how anyone could think it couldn't happen in whatever small town they're in, I don't know.

    • @honeybadger1847
      @honeybadger1847 3 года назад +1

      Sometimes on cul-de-sacs (as if cul-de-sacs are sacrosanct).

  • @lextreasure5537
    @lextreasure5537 3 года назад +4

    Jim gaffigan is like a og with comedy. hes a master at jokes. his style is so distinctive.

  • @cryback37
    @cryback37 3 года назад +5

    I am seeing Jim live at the Paramount in Seattle in December. I would have seen him in June of 2020 but it got post-poned.

  • @MrChezzzzzy
    @MrChezzzzzy 2 года назад +1

    The best! The delivery, GOAT

  • @silviacalahatian8617
    @silviacalahatian8617 3 года назад +4

    Jim your hilarious 😂. I ❤️ Dateline!!!! I have no life. Thanks for the great laughs.

  • @ELvis348
    @ELvis348 3 года назад +1

    I love this one, Gaffin & Dateline fan here! Not lying☺️

  • @craigwatson9151
    @craigwatson9151 3 года назад +1

    Just pure clean laughter...Jim is the best out there also like Mark Norman

  • @CedricsMom
    @CedricsMom 3 года назад +9

    IDK why there's so much spousal murder on Dateline, but I'm glad I'm single and I plan on staying that way! I never miss an episode :-D

  • @kamaljohnson2200
    @kamaljohnson2200 3 года назад +20

    It's interesting how one person tripped acid so hard they admitted to murder but another person also tripping held it together well enough to recognize that they should go to the police about it.

  • @stephdeferie5662
    @stephdeferie5662 3 года назад +4

    i love his little "audience comments" in that funny voice!

  • @natalie9884
    @natalie9884 3 года назад +5

    This is SO accurate 🤣🤣🤣

  • @handsomeblackman255
    @handsomeblackman255 2 года назад +3

    If you don't like Jim you don't like comedy. His appeal is universal.

  • @dronexfun8469
    @dronexfun8469 3 года назад +52

    I wonder if Jim and Bill Hader ever watch Dateline together.

  • @eyb0ss317
    @eyb0ss317 4 года назад +43

    This reminds me a lot of Norm MacDonald’s joke about Cosby. The angle is something like “never mind the sexual assaults, to me, it’s the hypocrisy”

    • @lorenanders702
      @lorenanders702 3 года назад

      Maybe one of those guys copied from the other, just change wording enough so not so blatant.

    • @Tom-yd1ur
      @Tom-yd1ur 3 года назад +2

      Yeah, kind of similar. But finding the big laugh inside a dark topic is definitely more of Norm's wheelhouse.

  • @calvthomas6153
    @calvthomas6153 Месяц назад +2

    Dateline is my jam! I love that show.💕💕💕

  • @iheartnavyblue006
    @iheartnavyblue006 4 года назад +22

    National treasure.

  • @kristasparks33
    @kristasparks33 2 года назад +2

    That's right "you took a vow do it yourself!"🤣😂🤣

  • @cymbolichuman433
    @cymbolichuman433 3 года назад +27

    I have six cast iron skillets....The small egg sized pan is just in case
    he annoys me. The largest 14" matches the size of the steering wheel.
    So it will look like an accident.

  • @ParallelLogic
    @ParallelLogic 3 года назад +5

    "He's better than murder than comedy" - he's totally killing it up there

  • @melissasmith7830
    @melissasmith7830 3 года назад +17

    😂😂🤣🤣They should sell that as a shirt!! 😂😂 Most marriages end in murder #Dateline

  • @clarenceartman7487
    @clarenceartman7487 2 года назад +3

    KILLED IT!

  • @camcoulter5993
    @camcoulter5993 3 года назад +1

    Love your wry sense of humor. Always enjoy your comedy.

  • @brianjoyce9040
    @brianjoyce9040 3 года назад +5

    Funny fella Jim. Thx for the laughs

  • @beebeeramone4641
    @beebeeramone4641 3 года назад +2

    Finally someone i can relate to on relationships and the thoughts that occur 😃

  • @mfar3016
    @mfar3016 2 года назад +4

    You wouldn’t like this ice cream, it’s very spicy. 🤣

  • @Jstammfly
    @Jstammfly 4 месяца назад +1

    Jim once honored me with his pre letterman standup for that night when I drove him to the train station. He was shooting a small indie movie I was working on. Nicest guy, incredibly talented!

  • @tonyb3203
    @tonyb3203 4 года назад +6

    4:18 is what you're here for. 🤣

  • @nancybrown8338
    @nancybrown8338 3 года назад +13

    I always think they couldn't be that perfect cuz one's dead and the other one's guilty. LOL

  • @BlankSlateVoiceover
    @BlankSlateVoiceover 3 года назад +3

    That self insult at the end was Hilarious

  • @trishafoster8019
    @trishafoster8019 3 года назад +3

    "Taking notes". Im dying!

  • @jaycuzman625
    @jaycuzman625 3 года назад +6

    This is a great stand up...to laugh at the issue of murder is something I thought would be impossible. Dateline used to do great stories but now it is about killings

    • @robertnicholls9917
      @robertnicholls9917 3 года назад +3

      This is great comedy. That's why I hate comedians who complain about cancel culture when the reality is they're not clever about how to deliver material.
      Comedy is a hard art form, figure out how to get the laugh on seemingly offensive material.

    • @anniefannycharles9951
      @anniefannycharles9951 3 года назад

      It seems to get the viewer's attention.

  • @ScooterOnHisWay2024
    @ScooterOnHisWay2024 Месяц назад

    He and the legendary Norm MacDonald could always bring you full circle on the longest jokes, seemingly always evoking a dozen laughs along the way.

  • @layniewolfe
    @layniewolfe 3 года назад +1

    Whenever I’m sad, I just come to this clip so I can hear Jim say “they had the PERRFECT MAARIGE.” I think I’ve commented on this video before probably...I just wanted to reiterate....Jim Gaffigan is the best...and that line has to be my favorite impersonation of all time 😂

  • @edp3202
    @edp3202 4 года назад +36

    A hot pocket inside a hot pocket. Now they're just messing with us

    • @joedufour8188
      @joedufour8188 4 года назад +3

      It's a hot pocket with micro hot pockets inside of mini hot pockets inside the hot pocket. Your plumber will love you.

    • @gwrober
      @gwrober 4 года назад +4

      hoooooot pocket!

    • @linshanhsiang
      @linshanhsiang 3 года назад

      Oh I forgot to ask Jim what he thought of the Hot Pocket recall.

  • @proud2bpagan
    @proud2bpagan 3 года назад +3

    I remember getting hooked on the ID channel, and my ex wife looked at me and said "You've been watching that channel alot...do we need to talk?"

  • @BumblebeeDeeDee
    @BumblebeeDeeDee 3 года назад +1

    Always great!! I've loved him for a long time! Loved his show called The Jim Gaffigan show on tv land too! It was hilarious! Miss that show so much! Must see if you love Jim Gaffigan! 👍👍👍🤣😂💛🐝💛

  • @TheFeliciakelley
    @TheFeliciakelley 4 года назад +14

    Yes, I tend to harp on the murder part..

  • @landlinesandpercolators8822
    @landlinesandpercolators8822 3 года назад +44

    I thought they were good murder jokes.

  • @markjohansen6582
    @markjohansen6582 3 года назад +4

    My son and I used to regularly watch these sort of "true crime" shows together. We referred to them as "educational TV". Because everyone on one of these shows who got caught was a valuable lesson on what not to do.

    • @marys3127
      @marys3127 3 года назад

      Exactly!😀

    • @geraldfrost4710
      @geraldfrost4710 3 года назад

      Things like "pay cash for weapons", "don't keep receipts", and the ever popular, "What's your alibi?"

    • @proud2bpagan
      @proud2bpagan 3 года назад

      or as South Park calls it...Murder Porn,lol.

    • @proud2bpagan
      @proud2bpagan 3 года назад +1

      @@geraldfrost4710 dude, that's what keeps me from buying a gun from a yahoo selling one in a trade paper...how do *I* know I'm not now a prime suspect in some kind of nefarious murder for hire scheme? Just like aborted fetuses...I wasn't born yesterday.

  • @grantdervishi8186
    @grantdervishi8186 3 года назад +3

    Every one of those Dateline episodes has the cops questioning the wrong suspect at first and then zeroing in on the spouse

  • @padraigtomas3617
    @padraigtomas3617 3 года назад +16

    When you care enough to lie ...

  • @p.b.2286
    @p.b.2286 3 года назад +1

    "Just part of my alibi" 😂. I need to use that line

  • @Scavenger82
    @Scavenger82 4 года назад +22

    I've often thought to myself that if somewhere down the line Gaffigan just snaps, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

    • @linshanhsiang
      @linshanhsiang 3 года назад +5

      Projecting much?

    • @camisnyder3460
      @camisnyder3460 3 года назад +4

      Nah.....he’s a good dude

    • @Scavenger82
      @Scavenger82 3 года назад

      Emphasis on "if."

    • @soccermommyNPC
      @soccermommyNPC 3 года назад +3

      “He was better at murder than comedy”

    • @camez2345
      @camez2345 3 года назад

      @@soccermommyNPC "But that's when the laughter stopped."

  • @teachrkimmy2898
    @teachrkimmy2898 Месяц назад

    "Spicy ice cream"...GOOD one! 😂 ...and mom-wrestling...GOLDEN!

  • @CDKLRK
    @CDKLRK 3 года назад +5

    "...you took a vow; do it yourself."

  • @randipennell3489
    @randipennell3489 4 года назад +7

    So hilarious!

  • @ekdaufin1485
    @ekdaufin1485 3 года назад +6

    Some other winners out there! 🤣