My husband isn't in the 1%, he's in the .01%. The odds were against us because he had a lot of bad habits he was able to hide for the first little while (we only spoke on the phone for the first 4 months, never met or did video calls). By the time I discovered them, I'd already fallen for him. There was a lot of conflict and pain to the point where I was going to call it off and he knew it. Long story short, he did the work needed and changed his ways and we were married in a year from when we started talking. Now we are a healthy, happy, and drama-free couple. We truly have beat the odds. One day, we'd like to share we our story together, to inspire others. But we do realise that our story is very unique. God was working in both of us.
Im not interested in a long distance relationship, most women also want the physical companionship if a man. Not necessarily sex, but we want to be in the presence of the man we are dating.
I had the 1%, we lived over 850 miles from each other but he didn't drink, loved Jesus, didn't smoke, we talked everyday for hours, responsible, etc. he made me his wife after 5 months of knowing each other, but the Lord took him home. Listen to Tony he knows what he's talking about, he's trying to save us from the men who are not God's best. 🙏🙏🗣
@@elizabethschilling7178 unless you belong to one of your religious cults you would understand what the average man is actually like sexually. But you've been sheltered all your life and live in a bubble. You're unrealistic!
I think that the narrative that women who desire sexual intimacy as much as men must have went through something is a reach. If that's the case the same can be said for hyper sexual men who only prioritize sex. We're all sexual beings with needs. Women aren't taught that orgasms should be a natural thing during sex or to make them a priority so they usually don't make it that until later in life or they use toys to get them there. Whether someone is down the street or across the country if that man wants it to work he will make accommodations to do so. Just conversation can get very tiring for women also. We need to be held, touched, caressed, and kissed as well. I wouldn't even consider moving across country for a man unless we spent a lot of time in person and he at least proposed because moving is a huge commitment for anyone.
I agree with u. Us women wants sex just as much as the men but it seems to be frown upon when a woman know what she likes and can express it very well. Not all of us are going thru a trauma regarding wanting sex as much as men. Its because she want it like the men do. 😊😊
I agree. Yes most men are out of sight out of mind in their core but women also have a portion of that. Although women aren't sexual creatures like men, we do desire intimacy. I personally feel that only a woman can speak to this because a lot of times men get this wrong. I'm pro a long distance relationship but I always tell women to keep their friends with benefits as well. Just be open with your man and let them know that you don't believe in sexual exclusivity while in a long distance relationship. Leave it there. Best and believe he will likely be sleeping with other women any way, or if not thats fine. But when yall ask eachother have you been with anyone else, the answer should always be, No. If the relationship moves into a space where yall can be together, then be sexually exclusive and be honesty. Until then I'm not putting nothing on hold unless thats where my spirit take me.
@@bremarie3442 I agree with keeping the FWB thing until a real commitment is made. Only if and when that happens should both people let go of there options. But yes honesty is definitely key.
My first “boyfriend” was long distance. I was in high school. And he moved away for college... long story short he started dating other women and fell in love with someone else. My friend told me that it was gonna happen like that. I didn’t know anything about men and dating. I was so heartbroken lol. It took me a LONG time to be open to dating again . When I did date I never took it too serious, because I had trust issues. But, I’m glad I experienced this as a teenager and learned from it.
I totally agree. You said a mouthful!Lived it all of 2021, it was heartbreaking, all he had to do was say the right words and I would have married him and moved! As my Dad used to say: ~piss or get off the pot~
Tony is right. I don’t even take long distance serious myself. It feels like having a pen pal. Conversation starts dwindling even when I’m talking with a guy in my city and we have yet to link up for a date. LDR aren’t worth it IMO unless someone plans to leave their city within a year.
I don’t take them seriously either. I’ll talk to several different men in several different states because I’m dating and trying figure out who’s the best fit for me
THANK YOU FOR SHARING THE TRUTH. I AM 54. MY EX HUSBAND AND I WERE MARRIED FOR 22 YEARS. WE WERE LONG DISTANCE BACK IN THE DAY. WE WERE 22 WHEN WE MARRIED. YOU ARE RIGHT. HE MOVED QUICKLY AND HE MARRIED ME. WE PRODUCED 6 CHILDREN WHICH ARE ADULTS AND ARE ON THEIR OWN AND 14 GRANDCHILDREN. PEOPLE LISTEN TO HIM . HE IS TELLING THE TRUTH. THANK YOU AGAIN. GOD HAS PLACE YOU IN OUR LIVES FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS. STAY BLESS.
I've done the long distance its not for everybody. People are in relationships still get cheated on when they live with in the same household as their partner. After the first year it does get challenging. I say this it takes two people who are committed and mature and yall have to have a game plan with thin on who's relocating.
I've never done a long distance relationship and never will. They just don't work 99 percent of the time, whether you are male or female. Men bond by spending time WITH you. Face to face time. Since the pandemic began, I find myself craving the old school, face to face friendships. I am starved for them.
Tony is absolutely right, I had to walk away from a long distance relationship myself cause he did not want to come see me. I believe a man should come see the woman.
This is why I’m afraid to date anybody in the military, because when they go on deployment my question is will he be faithful to me, and I’m pretty sure that’s the same question he would ask himself about me..faith and trust would be a huge commitment when dating someone in the military
some women like it bc they do t have to put in the work they say if I could go out on a date have sex and send him back they are ok with that. I be like wow relationships have really lost there savory .. we better just wait on God
So basically when I hear this, and I have heard this several times. It just sounds to me that men are lacking depth. If it has to be visual and physical then what depth is there on just that? Just pure primal. I just feel like giving up.
@ My Lyfe, no they are not lacking depth. This is just how they are wired. Just as we have our own wiring. Every woman knows that men are visual creatures so Why not work with the man instead of expecting him to behave as a woman would behave.
Yep, and you never know whats really going on with them. Usually there's something going on with their Living arrangement, employment situation or relationship status.
My so called soulmate was supposed to come visit me after our 3-4th month. Then corona hit. Long story short we never made it in the real world as his country and my country were completely travel restricted. And it all ended. Last spring he sends me a long and regretful letter on how he wishes he had come to my country (at the time he could have) and how it was the biggest mistake of his life.... After half a year of complete no contact, that is. Then I tell him if he means it to let his actions show it and if he can't put actions behind his words --> to never contact me again. Guess what! He never did! And the funny thing is, at the time he wrote me GOD had opened a channel for traveling between our countries, a safe passage! Which by itself was an incredible miracle!!! He didn't even need to do a nose or needle thingy!!! They'd say the most dramatic sounding things just to make a woman jump! Yet in the end priorities.. and actions say it all! "Players only love you when they're playing..."
Long distance..same city ...same street ..seems Im cheated on regardless.. it must be me.. at this point I should just choose to be knowingly single then be in a relationship that's truly not one ..
Wow the timing on this. 7 months in and yesterday he didn’t call me after work ( he always does) so I asked .. his response was we don’t need to be reporting to each other everything we do and need to respect each other’s space and not be expecting. I was shocked. I’m bummed .Thank you for this video
@@laynonna Thank you .. I’m more upset at myself but I think it’s Gods way of telling me he needs me in a season alone so that I can focus on my goals in life rn. Definitely we know when someone’s pattern changes. 🧐♥️ Thank you ladies and God bless 🤍
I'm in a LDR. It's more of a "struggle" for me, not him. Communication is the biggest thing in our relationship. Our problem is that we miss each other so much that it's a bit of a distraction in our lives. We talk/video for atleast 5 hours a day while still working, going to school, etc. Honestly, besides the open communication and genuine connection, what keeps our relationship strong is him flying me to him or him flying here to visit me every 3 to 4 weeks. I'm in Michigan and he's in California. He busts his butt to cover them flights for us. We met in person one week during his visit to my city and we slowly became friends over time. Months later into our friendship he flew me out to California. After the 2nd time in California I agreed to a relationship with him. After the 3rd time we had sex. He's met my family twice so far and I haven't met his family yet because of MY new schedule, so I'm not coming out there much now, but he comes to me more. We've traveled together outside of our home towns as well Atlanta, Miami, etc. I've been in the military, college, etc. So I know what you saying because thats why I do have my little trust issues. He and I are alike in so many ways physically, mentally, spiritually, values, sexually, etc. But, we keep nasty pictures and videos at a very low minimum, however, unfortunately self-masturbation is the option for us, because we don't see each other every day. I'm 29, he's 30. I have one child and his son passed away some time ago. We became friends first, then naturally gravitated into lovers. We are highly vulnerable with one another and focused in our lives. Right now we have a plan to become closer. He has been sending me homes and asking for my opinion because we have agreed that it's time for us to live together now. California will be home. I also have a decent savings, so no BS now or later, or we✌🏼
Update: We did everything according to plan. But turns out he is emotionally manipulative and physically abusive. After 2 months of finally being together everyday I chose to leave him. He turned out to be very dangerous & emotionally immature. I have no regrets, but more lessons learned about myself, life, and these type of situations. Make sure to take your time and pay attention to all signs and always be realistic/have a plan of how the relationship should go incase something unexpected happens. Do not be blindly optimostic and make sure to be real and get real advice from a Real friend/family member.
2023 UPDATE: It’s been a little over 2 years now and after I broke up and left California he traveled and pursued me for 4 months straight. We went through a few relationship counselors until we found the one that worked best for us. He apologized to me and my daughter and began to change more and more for the better. We continued to grow and heal together and now we are happily married. Do I recommend long distance relationships? No. Was it worth it for me? Yes. We continue to practice love, patience, partnership, and peace everyday and honestly the future just keeps getting brighter from here. This is my final update.
Me an my now fiancé we’re long distance but only for 4 months my fiancé was adamant on moving to my city and he did.. a year and 3 months in he proposed he did tell me the same thing that long distance was too hard for him that’s why he moved he felt we really had something real so he took the risk and now engaged! I did have another situation where I moved for a man after a year I later found out he cheated on me with 3 women didn’t know until I moved so it’s true ladies be cautious with long distance you just never know
I totally agree with you . Was in a long distance relationship for over 4 years . Long story short,he lied ,cheated countless times and moved on. Been a Devasting experience but i learned to move on,heal and eventually love will find me . Ladies its so real
Everything he said would happen in this video. He’s seeing someone else, wasn’t patient enough for me to be able to move and hasn’t taken initiative to move me there.
how long was it gonna take you to move? if there is still love there id say move there anyway and make a life for yourself and hit him up when you get there. see if it works. a change is always good.
@@MyIGNameIsSuperThickVegan few months following this semester. I’ve been job hunting in the area. I’m open to reconnecting when I get there but I’m not counting on it.
Thank you for sharing this, from what I gather the difference between this and asking a man who is in the same location to wait is the benefit of being in the woman’s presence makes the wait more bearable.
Tony I HOLLERED when you said you were in a long distance relationship when you met your wife. I personally like long distance relationships because it allows me to date several men at the same time without any fear of drama but I plan to date local men when I move to a bigger city.
This video is perfect because it's only true! This is why I use to say I would never get into a long distance relationship. Tony if you and your wife have a daughter she's gonna be so lucky and blessed to have you as a dad because you're gonna educate her all about men. God bless you and your family 🤗
Im a military (single) member and would never marry a man in uniform. Trust. They are no doubt sleeping with someone if in a long distance relationship, no, not all but the majority on average are. If not physical is an emotional attachment.
Yep LD sucks! Tell me about it because though my LD bf of 9 months is respectful, treats me well, texts back fast, initiates and responds, professes his love for me frequently, visits me once a month, always pays for food when we eat out or go to a grocery store, gives me money before he leaves to go back home, has paid a couple of bills for me (without me asking), has introduced me to his family and we have attended several family functions and was together for Thanksgiving and Christmas, gave me a KAY bracelet for Christmas, and we are making plans to marry and for him to move my way and we have a trip planned later this month to celebrate his brother’s birthday but why did I find motel shampoos and soap in his travel bag that was not there the last time he came but when he visited me this past weekend I found them? And for the record, no he does not travel for work to have to get a motel. Men are shitty individuals I’m just over it!
I have no problem relocating if I am asked to do so and I have been told by him that it is a relationship that will end up in marriage. Tony, I never want you to sugarcoat the truth because it is a disservice to us and whether we like it or not it is the truth. Thank you for bringing us what really we can expect in every situation in a relationship.
That’s not always true I’m married abroad and me and my husband do our best to keep our relationship good I go and travel and we have a emotional and mental connection as well
I thought I liked to hear the truth. But the truth hurts like a mf I swear. But when I say I just gained some wisdom that I don’t regret. Something in my spirit was trying to tell me “this ain’t real baby girl” but it’s the WHY I couldn’t understand for myself. I’m glad I searched RUclips and you popped up. You pointed me in the right direction, men aren’t women and they do not operate like us. That’s my problem, I had it all wrong. You explained that gracefully and for you to be an example of what you are talking about did it for me. I am pissed tf off but relieved at the same time. I knew I wasn’t tripping. ❤ thanks love. No more LDR for me, I ain’t got time for the BS.
Such a great video Tony Gaskin Just the perfect Session that I needed for long distance relationship myself and let me just say I met my Soulmate and we both have been blessed ever Since thank you for this Session Tony Gaskin have a bless one...
When I saw the topic, i remembered all what you said in your book, real love. God is a good God. I'm a woman and I don't trust LDRs. People be with each other in the same house and still trip. Be blessed.
Tony is right. I don’t even take long distance serious myself. It feels like having a pen pal. Conversation starts dwindling even when I’m talking with a guy in my city and we have yet to link up for a date. LDR aren’t worth it IMO unless someone plans to leave their city within a year.
I agree for the most part had to end a situation due to lack of availability emotional and mental once we asked me to move back home and I decided he didn't do enough for me to make such a big move and him being in a good place financially wasn't enough. I think sometimes we would probably be together if I was home but im not sooooo! He definitely isn't part of that 1 percent gotta know when to walk away.
I am more physical and we are both in a place where we know what we want and work towards that I travel to him when ever I can we dated for one year before he asked to marry me I believe I have a great man but if I focus on all the negative things that could happen sometimes we manifest our own heartbreak
It’s funny cause my ex and I we met in same city but he was sent away to a sober home to another state and we were still together but long distance and eventually I found out after we broke up that he had cheated on me with someone which was kinda annoying cause at the same time he was telling me he was gonna buy me a ticket to come to California to come see him even showing me the apartment he was thinking of getting with a roommate so at the same time I see it as a lesson even though it hurt cause he acted narcissistic and wasn’t really there for me even though it had hurt cause I tried to be there for him through hard times as much as I could that I forgot to be there for myself.
Why would you even want to be with someone in that position. The man needed to be away to work on himself not be in a relationship. Please take care of yourself first.
🎯”Duly Noted” whether most men wanna own this or not, men lie, women lie but numbers don’t.TG hasn’t lied to us yet. God Bless you Tony plus wife and kids.Thank you for all the free game you generously give us💯💯💯
I mean people cheat on their partners even in the same city. Doesn’t it really just boil down to the character of a person? Because even if a man is single he shouldn’t just be smashing and should be able to discipline himself right? If it’s long distance and he just can’t seem to wait maybe give him the option for physical and you just build the emotional until your ready to move. Men don’t connect through sex so it would be easy to drop her if you were to eventually move 🤷🏽♀️
And on the military part a lot of men use to play single while their wives were deployed or on some type of assignment. I know because I use to be a military brat. My dad was 1st Sergeant and his soldiers wives use to call my dad telling him how their husbands committed adultery while they were gone and some have impregnated a few.
Why is this man tryin to put all men down and say that all men r like this they are not all the same some men will cheat and some won't it depends on connection and energy between u and the man
What??? You must be new here. Tony always says, What’s understood doesn’t have to be explained.” He is addressing the rule not the exception. He was referring to the same “men” that the person used in the question. It clearly is a generalization.
Why do I feel guilty for dating or entertaining other men? Then I get so social media involved damage everything, I pray god heals me, show me, it's my job to stay focused on my future and set boundaries!
What should I do? I’m in a 2 and half hour long distance with a man who is 22 year older than me, We are planning our second date and he’s ok with me booking a hotel for us in my city when I offered which is a big turn off for me, I wanted him to do that without me doing it
For the last 3 years I have been in off and on situationships, my love language is physical but I have bad dating habits in my state. I date men from my area but still the same results.... I end up being alone majority of the time and I become a Option instead of a priority
May I suggest you buy a couple course on Tony Gaskins Academy? You just need new knowledge and to learn to love yourself. When you love yourself more, you'll be able to teach others how to love and respect you. I'm speaking from past & present experience. Also, being alone is not a curse. Do the work in the meantime. Blessings Sis 🙏🏾💕
Sir ,I'm in a LDR with a guy, he fought with me last week and blocked me ,since then i don't see him online in wassup,i use my mom's Phone to Spy him,is he using alternative to wassup to come online... can a man Stop coming online for one person??
@kylieking8163 I am still married. I am not thetr to see hus every move. I trust that he would not marry another woman. He is Igbo, so from my understanding, they only marry one woman, not multiple.
I am in a commitment relationship he asked me to wait for him till he comes back to Oklahoma. He is Kenya and was married to an American woman and has a daughter.
C'mon now... I'm sure some Women back then wanted 2b out there exploring / finding now worlds. I'm not 1 of them, but there's always Women who r comfortable in male settings 💯
Good info ! Struck me. A bit. Forgive me. Huaahh..! A womans release , one more area she's just putting up with. Bologna 'cause of the game. Its actually healthy for a woman to release where Ej.Control aka NoFab is healthier for men. Gasp..wha!! .because men have never chosen ..1%. to abstain and find out what hes about when hes abstaining. & they dont fear going to hell for it. (cause of cultural & religious expect) to abstaine. I look forward to someone willing moving for me!!
Yes man r visual unless they are desperate for pleasure to use some1. If a man just looks past anything it would mean he don't care 4 himself or using the person. Or they a past connection to u , they won't mind cause they seen u already looking good.
He ain’t lying that couple w vices they have. this is exactly what these long distance relationship. Are save yourselfs ppl get out these are major time wasters!
My husband isn't in the 1%, he's in the .01%. The odds were against us because he had a lot of bad habits he was able to hide for the first little while (we only spoke on the phone for the first 4 months, never met or did video calls). By the time I discovered them, I'd already fallen for him. There was a lot of conflict and pain to the point where I was going to call it off and he knew it. Long story short, he did the work needed and changed his ways and we were married in a year from when we started talking. Now we are a healthy, happy, and drama-free couple. We truly have beat the odds. One day, we'd like to share we our story together, to inspire others. But we do realise that our story is very unique. God was working in both of us.
What a great story
Awesome testimony.
Beautiful.
Thanks, everyone. God is good.🙏🙏🙏
How did you know he was the one tho?
Im not interested in a long distance relationship, most women also want the physical companionship if a man. Not necessarily sex, but we want to be in the presence of the man we are dating.
I had the 1%, we lived over 850 miles from each other but he didn't drink, loved Jesus, didn't smoke, we talked everyday for hours, responsible, etc. he made me his wife after 5 months of knowing each other, but the Lord took him home. Listen to Tony he knows what he's talking about, he's trying to save us from the men who are not God's best. 🙏🙏🗣
@Elizabeth Schilling, you're delusional.
@@christineribone9351 lol! You're ridiculous!
@@elizabethschilling7178 unless you belong to one of your religious cults you would understand what the average man is actually like sexually. But you've been sheltered all your life and live in a bubble. You're unrealistic!
I'm so sorry for your loss sis 💖💖💖
@@relisbetrel feel sorry for yourself for being fooled! 😀😁
My ex and i broke up today , long distance relationship , big dreams came crambling down . Pray for me 🙏
Me too. I feel so down.
🙏🏼
Praying for you
I understand. Definitely praying for you, Sis.🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Praying for you!
Well this just helped me with my decision on the long distance relationship that I’m in thank you Tony for your words of wisdom 💯🗣‼️
I'm in the military and they step out alllll of the time.
They’re called TDH - Temporarily Divorced Husbands.
@@j-tenn226 Wow! Cold game. Never knew they actually labeled the action. 😶
@@j-tenn226 wow… that’s crazy there’s a term for it
“The number one reason why it’s not real to a man is because men are visual creatures.” TG
I think that the narrative that women who desire sexual intimacy as much as men must have went through something is a reach. If that's the case the same can be said for hyper sexual men who only prioritize sex. We're all sexual beings with needs. Women aren't taught that orgasms should be a natural thing during sex or to make them a priority so they usually don't make it that until later in life or they use toys to get them there. Whether someone is down the street or across the country if that man wants it to work he will make accommodations to do so. Just conversation can get very tiring for women also. We need to be held, touched, caressed, and kissed as well. I wouldn't even consider moving across country for a man unless we spent a lot of time in person and he at least proposed because moving is a huge commitment for anyone.
I agree with u. Us women wants sex just as much as the men but it seems to be frown upon when a woman know what she likes and can express it very well. Not all of us are going thru a trauma regarding wanting sex as much as men. Its because she want it like the men do. 😊😊
I agree. Yes most men are out of sight out of mind in their core but women also have a portion of that. Although women aren't sexual creatures like men, we do desire intimacy. I personally feel that only a woman can speak to this because a lot of times men get this wrong. I'm pro a long distance relationship but I always tell women to keep their friends with benefits as well. Just be open with your man and let them know that you don't believe in sexual exclusivity while in a long distance relationship. Leave it there. Best and believe he will likely be sleeping with other women any way, or if not thats fine. But when yall ask eachother have you been with anyone else, the answer should always be, No. If the relationship moves into a space where yall can be together, then be sexually exclusive and be honesty. Until then I'm not putting nothing on hold unless thats where my spirit take me.
@@bremarie3442 I agree with keeping the FWB thing until a real commitment is made. Only if and when that happens should both people let go of there options. But yes honesty is definitely key.
@@bremarie3442 I totally agree with you on that. It’s crazy word for word I’m going through what you just explained.
@sarasantos That's true, too.
My first “boyfriend” was long distance. I was in high school. And he moved away for college... long story short he started dating other women and fell in love with someone else. My friend told me that it was gonna happen like that. I didn’t know anything about men and dating. I was so heartbroken lol. It took me a LONG time to be open to dating again . When I did date I never took it too serious, because I had trust issues. But, I’m glad I experienced this as a teenager and learned from it.
Y’all would of broke up either way
@@naturalcocoa1331 Yeah, so true.
im going through this right now.. how do i not take it personally ?
I totally agree. You said a mouthful!Lived it all of 2021, it was heartbreaking, all he had to do was say the right words and I would have married him and moved! As my Dad used to say: ~piss or get off the pot~
Tony is right. I don’t even take long distance serious myself. It feels like having a pen pal. Conversation starts dwindling even when I’m talking with a guy in my city and we have yet to link up for a date. LDR aren’t worth it IMO unless someone plans to leave their city within a year.
I don’t take them seriously either. I’ll talk to several different men in several different states because I’m dating and trying figure out who’s the best fit for me
And something I’ve noticed with some guys is they just wanna text all day & not meet for a date. I think that’s lame & childish
🎯🎯
THANK YOU FOR SHARING THE TRUTH. I AM 54. MY EX HUSBAND AND I WERE MARRIED FOR 22 YEARS. WE WERE LONG DISTANCE BACK IN THE DAY. WE WERE 22 WHEN WE MARRIED. YOU ARE RIGHT. HE MOVED QUICKLY AND HE MARRIED ME. WE PRODUCED 6 CHILDREN WHICH ARE ADULTS AND ARE ON THEIR OWN AND 14 GRANDCHILDREN. PEOPLE LISTEN TO HIM . HE IS TELLING THE TRUTH. THANK YOU AGAIN. GOD HAS PLACE YOU IN OUR LIVES FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS. STAY BLESS.
I've done the long distance its not for everybody. People are in relationships still get cheated on when they live with in the same household as their partner. After the first year it does get challenging. I say this it takes two people who are committed and mature and yall have to have a game plan with thin on who's relocating.
Class is in session ladies!
I've never done a long distance relationship and never will. They just don't work 99 percent of the time, whether you are male or female. Men bond by spending time WITH you. Face to face time. Since the pandemic began, I find myself craving the old school, face to face friendships. I am starved for them.
Tony is absolutely right, I had to walk away from a long distance relationship myself cause he did not want to come see me. I believe a man should come see the woman.
I think the first time he should come but it's cool to alternate
Umm no you should go see each other! Pretty unfair to expect him to only come see you! Good he got a way from a selfish woman
As a female I agree with you💯
I just got out the military last yr… and to answer your question there is so much adultry
This is why I’m afraid to date anybody in the military, because when they go on deployment my question is will he be faithful to me, and I’m pretty sure that’s the same question he would ask himself about me..faith and trust would be a huge commitment when dating someone in the military
Guys it's never one size fits all. There are long distance relationships that have worked out perfectly....not common but they exist.
some women like it bc they do t have to put in the work they say if I could go out on a date have sex and send him back they are ok with that. I be like wow relationships have really lost there savory .. we better just wait on God
This is so on point Tony
Thank you Tony
I WAS in a 5 year long relationship
So basically when I hear this, and I have heard this several times. It just sounds to me that men are lacking depth. If it has to be visual and physical then what depth is there on just that? Just pure primal. I just feel like giving up.
Yes
@ My Lyfe, no they are not lacking depth. This is just how they are wired. Just as we have our own wiring. Every woman knows that men are visual creatures so Why not work with the man instead of expecting him to behave as a woman would behave.
Yep, and you never know whats really going on with them. Usually there's something going on with their Living arrangement, employment situation or relationship status.
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My so called soulmate was supposed to come visit me after our 3-4th month. Then corona hit.
Long story short we never made it in the real world as his country and my country were completely travel restricted.
And it all ended.
Last spring he sends me a long and regretful letter on how he wishes he had come to my country (at the time he could have) and how it was the biggest mistake of his life.... After half a year of complete no contact, that is. Then I tell him if he means it to let his actions show it and if he can't put actions behind his words --> to never contact me again. Guess what! He never did!
And the funny thing is, at the time he wrote me GOD had opened a channel for traveling between our countries, a safe passage! Which by itself was an incredible miracle!!! He didn't even need to do a nose or needle thingy!!!
They'd say the most dramatic sounding things just to make a woman jump! Yet in the end priorities.. and actions say it all!
"Players only love you when they're playing..."
A LDR is also a way for a man to rebound slowly and keep his ex on the side
That’s exactly what my ex did.
Long distance..same city ...same street ..seems Im cheated on regardless.. it must be me.. at this point I should just choose to be knowingly single then be in a relationship that's truly not one ..
Good morning Blessed Tribe‼️❤️🙏🏽
Wow the timing on this. 7 months in and yesterday he didn’t call me after work ( he always does) so I asked .. his response was we don’t need to be reporting to each other everything we do and need to respect each other’s space and not be expecting. I was shocked. I’m bummed .Thank you for this video
sounds like a grownie trick. Sorry :\
Yep, when the routine changes, you know it’s time to move on. Hope you find the love you deserve.
@@laynonna Thank you .. I’m more upset at myself but I think it’s Gods way of telling me he needs me in a season alone so that I can focus on my goals in life rn. Definitely we know when someone’s pattern changes. 🧐♥️ Thank you ladies and God bless 🤍
The same just happened to me. I'm heartbroken.
Go on about your business
I'm in a LDR. It's more of a "struggle" for me, not him. Communication is the biggest thing in our relationship. Our problem is that we miss each other so much that it's a bit of a distraction in our lives. We talk/video for atleast 5 hours a day while still working, going to school, etc.
Honestly, besides the open communication and genuine connection, what keeps our relationship strong is him flying me to him or him flying here to visit me every 3 to 4 weeks. I'm in Michigan and he's in California.
He busts his butt to cover them flights for us. We met in person one week during his visit to my city and we slowly became friends over time. Months later into our friendship he flew me out to California. After the 2nd time in California I agreed to a relationship with him. After the 3rd time we had sex.
He's met my family twice so far and I haven't met his family yet because of MY new schedule, so I'm not coming out there much now, but he comes to me more.
We've traveled together outside of our home towns as well Atlanta, Miami, etc.
I've been in the military, college, etc. So I know what you saying because thats why I do have my little trust issues.
He and I are alike in so many ways physically, mentally, spiritually, values, sexually, etc. But, we keep nasty pictures and videos at a very low minimum, however, unfortunately self-masturbation is the option for us, because we don't see each other every day.
I'm 29, he's 30. I have one child and his son passed away some time ago.
We became friends first, then naturally gravitated into lovers.
We are highly vulnerable with one another and focused in our lives.
Right now we have a plan to become closer. He has been sending me homes and asking for my opinion because we have agreed that it's time for us to live together now. California will be home.
I also have a decent savings, so no BS now or later, or we✌🏼
Nice good luck on ur journey with love, sounds like ur long distances connections is working just great 👍.
Sorry to hear about his son.
Interesting because you said your waiting until marriage but you already had sex with him .
@@Sandrinarhonda You tell me when I said that I'm waiting til marriage, then we can talk.
Update: We did everything according to plan. But turns out he is emotionally manipulative and physically abusive. After 2 months of finally being together everyday I chose to leave him. He turned out to be very dangerous & emotionally immature. I have no regrets, but more lessons learned about myself, life, and these type of situations.
Make sure to take your time and pay attention to all signs and always be realistic/have a plan of how the relationship should go incase something unexpected happens. Do not be blindly optimostic and make sure to be real and get real advice from a Real friend/family member.
2023 UPDATE: It’s been a little over 2 years now and after I broke up and left California he traveled and pursued me for 4 months straight. We went through a few relationship counselors until we found the one that worked best for us. He apologized to me and my daughter and began to change more and more for the better. We continued to grow and heal together and now we are happily married. Do I recommend long distance relationships? No. Was it worth it for me? Yes. We continue to practice love, patience, partnership, and peace everyday and honestly the future just keeps getting brighter from here. This is my final update.
Me an my now fiancé we’re long distance but only for 4 months my fiancé was adamant on moving to my city and he did.. a year and 3 months in he proposed he did tell me the same thing that long distance was too hard for him that’s why he moved he felt we really had something real so he took the risk and now engaged! I did have another situation where I moved for a man after a year I later found out he cheated on me with 3 women didn’t know until I moved so it’s true ladies be cautious with long distance you just never know
Thank you Tony for this video. I thank God for the man he sent me. His definitely in the 1% and I’m 100% grateful for this🙏🏽
Same! 🎯
I totally agree with you .
Was in a long distance relationship for over 4 years .
Long story short,he lied ,cheated countless times and moved on.
Been a Devasting experience but i learned to move on,heal and eventually love will find me .
Ladies its so real
This is right on time. Time to give up on my little distance thang
Why, what happened?
Everything he said would happen in this video. He’s seeing someone else, wasn’t patient enough for me to be able to move and hasn’t taken initiative to move me there.
@@lstomlin08918 Dang, sorry to hear that. Hopefully y'all weren't together long. But, atleast moving on should be easier now.
how long was it gonna take you to move? if there is still love there id say move there anyway and make a life for yourself and hit him up when you get there. see if it works. a change is always good.
@@MyIGNameIsSuperThickVegan few months following this semester. I’ve been job hunting in the area. I’m open to reconnecting when I get there but I’m not counting on it.
Thank you for sharing this, from what I gather the difference between this and asking a man who is in the same location to wait is the benefit of being in the woman’s presence makes the wait more bearable.
What about 3 hrs away long distance? I think that's doable. Not anything crazy like out of state or across the country. I'm open to different pov.
Tony I HOLLERED when you said you were in a long distance relationship when you met your wife. I personally like long distance relationships because it allows me to date several men at the same time without any fear of drama but I plan to date local men when I move to a bigger city.
It's hard enough to maintain a local one, and the need for physical
Satisfaction is not fulfilled through long distance interactions.
I'm in here TRIBE....whats good 😜
This is the truth. If a plan is not in place it definitely will not work. Needed to hear this. Thank you 😊🙏🏾
This video is perfect because it's only true! This is why I use to say I would never get into a long distance relationship. Tony if you and your wife have a daughter she's gonna be so lucky and blessed to have you as a dad because you're gonna educate her all about men. God bless you and your family 🤗
Im a military (single) member and would never marry a man in uniform. Trust. They are no doubt sleeping with someone if in a long distance relationship, no, not all but the majority on average are. If not physical is an emotional attachment.
Lived it, I fully concur. 💯💯💯
Yep LD sucks! Tell me about it because though my LD bf of 9 months is respectful, treats me well, texts back fast, initiates and responds, professes his love for me frequently, visits me once a month, always pays for food when we eat out or go to a grocery store, gives me money before he leaves to go back home, has paid a couple of bills for me (without me asking), has introduced me to his family and we have attended several family functions and was together for Thanksgiving and Christmas, gave me a KAY bracelet for Christmas, and we are making plans to marry and for him to move my way and we have a trip planned later this month to celebrate his brother’s birthday but why did I find motel shampoos and soap in his travel bag that was not there the last time he came but when he visited me this past weekend I found them? And for the record, no he does not travel for work to have to get a motel. Men are shitty individuals I’m just over it!
With Celibacy its the same logic since there's no physical contact
I have no problem relocating if I am asked to do so and I have been told by him that it is a relationship that will end up in marriage. Tony, I never want you to sugarcoat the truth because it is a disservice to us and whether we like it or not it is the truth. Thank you for bringing us what really we can expect in every situation in a relationship.
I needed to see this video… ain’t THIS the truth!!! 💯
That’s not always true I’m married abroad and me and my husband do our best to keep our relationship good I go and travel and we have a emotional and mental connection as well
I personally have never been in a long distance relationship and will not agree to be in one..even b4 this video. So THANK YOU TONY !!
I thought I liked to hear the truth. But the truth hurts like a mf I swear. But when I say I just gained some wisdom that I don’t regret. Something in my spirit was trying to tell me “this ain’t real baby girl” but it’s the WHY I couldn’t understand for myself. I’m glad I searched RUclips and you popped up. You pointed me in the right direction, men aren’t women and they do not operate like us. That’s my problem, I had it all wrong. You explained that gracefully and for you to be an example of what you are talking about did it for me. I am pissed tf off but relieved at the same time. I knew I wasn’t tripping. ❤ thanks love. No more LDR for me, I ain’t got time for the BS.
"He walked around with a bible"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
"Hopped right on top of her"
🤣🤣🤣
" God bless you"
Haha 😂😂😂😂
Such a great video Tony Gaskin Just the perfect Session that I needed for long distance relationship myself and let me just say I met my Soulmate and we both have been blessed ever Since thank you for this Session Tony Gaskin have a bless one...
When I saw the topic, i remembered all what you said in your book, real love. God is a good God. I'm a woman and I don't trust LDRs. People be with each other in the same house and still trip. Be blessed.
👏🏽
Nothing like confirmation 🙏🏽
Tony how do we set healthy boundaries in long distance, we definitely are guilty women we get weak, thanks Tony 👏👏👏
Tony is right. I don’t even take long distance serious myself. It feels like having a pen pal. Conversation starts dwindling even when I’m talking with a guy in my city and we have yet to link up for a date. LDR aren’t worth it IMO unless someone plans to leave their city within a year.
You couldn’t of said this more clearer
This truth and real I went through it for five years every single day
Happy Saturday blessed tribe 🙏
This man is fun KNEEEEE 😂😂🤣loveeee it! Speaking facts!!
I agree for the most part had to end a situation due to lack of availability emotional and mental once we asked me to move back home and I decided he didn't do enough for me to make such a big move and him being in a good place financially wasn't enough. I think sometimes we would probably be together if I was home but im not sooooo! He definitely isn't part of that 1 percent gotta know when to walk away.
Class in session 🙏🏾
Good Saturday am 🌞
I am more physical and we are both in a place where we know what we want and work towards that I travel to him when ever I can we dated for one year before he asked to marry me I believe I have a great man but if I focus on all the negative things that could happen sometimes we manifest our own heartbreak
Be Blessed 😊
Thanks TG and God bless you abundantly for always making us see things from mens' perspective
It’s funny cause my ex and I we met in same city but he was sent away to a sober home to another state and we were still together but long distance and eventually I found out after we broke up that he had cheated on me with someone which was kinda annoying cause at the same time he was telling me he was gonna buy me a ticket to come to California to come see him even showing me the apartment he was thinking of getting with a roommate so at the same time I see it as a lesson even though it hurt cause he acted narcissistic and wasn’t really there for me even though it had hurt cause I tried to be there for him through hard times as much as I could that I forgot to be there for myself.
Why would you even want to be with someone in that position. The man needed to be away to work on himself not be in a relationship. Please take care of yourself first.
@@shaybear9714 well I cared about him and wanted him to get better plus he started dating some other girl while there.
you literally spoke to me in this video, it’s actually really crazy.
🎯”Duly Noted” whether most men wanna own this or not, men lie, women lie but numbers don’t.TG hasn’t lied to us yet. God Bless you Tony plus wife and kids.Thank you for all the free game you generously give us💯💯💯
So most likely you are saying 80 percent of the time the woman is keeping discipline but the man is 98.9 whipping it around haha.
I mean people cheat on their partners even in the same city. Doesn’t it really just boil down to the character of a person? Because even if a man is single he shouldn’t just be smashing and should be able to discipline himself right? If it’s long distance and he just can’t seem to wait maybe give him the option for physical and you just build the emotional until your ready to move. Men don’t connect through sex so it would be easy to drop her if you were to eventually move 🤷🏽♀️
Tony is right! I just ended a toxic long distance relationship and although I saw him a lot it started getting really bad. We have two kids. ❤️
And on the military part a lot of men use to play single while their wives were deployed or on some type of assignment. I know because I use to be a military brat. My dad was 1st Sergeant and his soldiers wives use to call my dad telling him how their husbands committed adultery while they were gone and some have impregnated a few.
Why is this man tryin to put all men down and say that all men r like this they are not all the same some men will cheat and some won't it depends on connection and energy between u and the man
If the persons really wanted it then they will find a way to make it work
Tony, acknowledge this weak comment.
What??? You must be new here. Tony always says, What’s understood doesn’t have to be explained.” He is addressing the rule not the exception. He was referring to the same “men” that the person used in the question. It clearly is a generalization.
@@mstenacious274 I wonder if Tony will block this man, or expose him.
If he smokes if he gets drunk if he curses he’s on that 99 percent 🗣
😊
Thought one time it could work but true men are visual creatures.
Why do I feel guilty for dating or entertaining other men? Then I get so social media involved damage everything, I pray god heals me, show me, it's my job to stay focused on my future and set boundaries!
What should I do? I’m in a 2 and half hour long distance with a man who is 22 year older than me, We are planning our second date and he’s ok with me booking a hotel for us in my city when I offered which is a big turn off for me, I wanted him to do that without me doing it
For the last 3 years I have been in off and on situationships, my love language is physical but I have bad dating habits in my state. I date men from my area but still the same results.... I end up being alone majority of the time and I become a Option instead of a priority
May I suggest you buy a couple course on Tony Gaskins Academy? You just need new knowledge and to learn to love yourself. When you love yourself more, you'll be able to teach others how to love and respect you. I'm speaking from past & present experience. Also, being alone is not a curse. Do the work in the meantime. Blessings Sis 🙏🏾💕
@@MissTracy-Ann God bless you thank you I'm definitely working on myself, outside and inside waiting on my peace ,God knows what we need 🙏🙏🙏 💕
Sir ,I'm in a LDR with a guy, he fought with me last week and blocked me ,since then i don't see him online in wassup,i use my mom's Phone to Spy him,is he using alternative to wassup to come online... can a man Stop coming online for one person??
Tony I’ve watched so many of your videos point blank periodddd has been adopted in my lexicon now 🤣
This is why he cheated.
Hard pill to swallow as always...
Can u get a military woman on here on an episode please or something to elaborate on what ur saying or just for general information.
Thanks Tony!!!! I needed to hear this today
Very true 💯 💯 God bless you 🙏 🙏
Wow I never thought about the military spouses smh. Makes sense.
I think age makes a difference too
I no a long distance relationship and I’m taking notes as he speak
8 42 to go please the woman that is right there beside him haha.
3 42 they use him or her for 4 play to go too or
whoever more convient.
9:20 😮
Your ain’t never lied
Ready to learn!
My husband lives in Nigeria and I live in the US. I'm open to reading all comments and will answer questions if you have them.
Are you still married ? What if he gets another family in Nigeria because I hear Nigerian men can do tht
@kylieking8163 I am still married. I am not thetr to see hus every move. I trust that he would not marry another woman. He is Igbo, so from my understanding, they only marry one woman, not multiple.
I am in a commitment relationship he asked me to wait for him till he comes back to Oklahoma. He is Kenya and was married to an American woman and has a daughter.
C'mon now... I'm sure some Women back then wanted 2b out there exploring / finding now worlds. I'm not 1 of them, but there's always Women who r comfortable in male settings 💯
Good info ! Struck me. A bit. Forgive me. Huaahh..! A womans release , one more area she's just putting up with. Bologna 'cause of the game. Its actually healthy for a woman to release where Ej.Control aka NoFab is healthier for men. Gasp..wha!! .because men have never chosen ..1%. to abstain and find out what hes about when hes abstaining. & they dont fear going to hell for it. (cause of cultural & religious expect) to abstaine. I look forward to someone willing moving for me!!
YES YES YES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Iam here for this hallelujah
Yes man r visual unless they are desperate for pleasure to use some1.
If a man just looks past anything it would mean he don't care 4 himself or using the person.
Or they a past connection to u , they won't mind cause they seen u already looking good.
He ain’t lying that couple w vices they have. this is exactly what these long distance relationship. Are save yourselfs ppl get out these are major time wasters!
I will tell you what military men do when we get u/w, C H E AT ING but honestly the married women are too.
We need one more or 3 plandemic and man will love LDR😂😂😂
All male models and female youtubers, ig models, ect are basically are this.