Before you say “I Do!”

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  • Опубликовано: 4 янв 2022
  • Are you about to get married or hoping to be married one day? If so, you need to make sure you’re paying attention to the signs and taking your time before marriage. There are things to look for before marriage, and things to do before marriage.
    In this video, I share a few tips for you to help you prepare for marriage.
    If you’re ready to help others, please consider the Life Coach Certification: www.tonygaskinsacademy.com/co...

Комментарии • 299

  • @camuyana
    @camuyana 2 года назад +224

    You really threw it out of the park with this video Tony. I have been married for forty-two years and everything you said is exactly what happens when you get married. You did not sugarcoat it to please the ears and are really giving good advice. That's why people who are married are more capable of giving advice about marriage and relationship before marriage. This is a good one to watch over and over.

    • @LA.4.LIFE.76
      @LA.4.LIFE.76 2 года назад +13

      I agree I loved this video! Wow! 42 years of marriage what a blessings! God is good! My grandparents were married 62 years they lived and left here happy!

    • @camuyana
      @camuyana 2 года назад +15

      @@LA.4.LIFE.76 I forgot to expand my comment. The 42-year old marriage will come to an end this year and it should have been ended many decades ago due to serial infidelity. I have learned to accept it because when there is no fixing with somebody who does not repent and change. Now it's time to move on. Please pray for me. Take care.

    • @LA.4.LIFE.76
      @LA.4.LIFE.76 2 года назад +4

      @@camuyana I will the Most High be with you always! Psalms 107:20

    • @camuyana
      @camuyana 2 года назад +1

      @@LA.4.LIFE.76 thank you and may God bless you.

    • @charellesexii6555
      @charellesexii6555 2 года назад +2

      Who you have kids with is the number 1 most important decision to make

  • @carlissgarrett
    @carlissgarrett 2 года назад +245

    I have come to realize that who you marry is the second most important decision you will make in life. The first being your decision to follow Christ. Choose wisely!! Thank you for this video Tony Gaskins!!

  • @deliteful1991
    @deliteful1991 2 года назад +77

    The individuals who say “it’s just a piece of paper” God is not of them.

    • @alishadennis7769
      @alishadennis7769 2 года назад +12

      👍💯 yep, they wanna to sin & play & drag others to stay at n sun with them for their in ego, cheating & sadly sexual excitement that's really risking their life, health & spiritual condition with God 🙏😅. Tomorrow is not promised especially in the current Pandemic of sudden death & great terrible illness & affects of financial downfall.
      Women must value our self higher & not give wifey blessing & goodies to a fool using you all for the women to be hurt & needing to use wisdom & not repeat letting a man pressure a woman ♀️ 🤗👠👠 into broken , sinful situations & follow God who wants only good 👍🙏💖 for us the right way & with the right man 👞♂️ ladies!!!

    • @overcomerbtbojesus
      @overcomerbtbojesus 2 года назад +1

      @@alishadennis7769 💯💯💯💯

  • @toyauzzle5732
    @toyauzzle5732 2 года назад +94

    Learning how someone grew up and how they were raised is so important!!!!!

  • @marilynking527
    @marilynking527 2 года назад +176

    Wow this video is speaking to me. I literally just saw a post where someone else is getting divorced and I said to myself I call myself wanting to get married and God whispered don’t rush it don’t you want to stay married and then I clicked on here and saw this video!! Thank you for all wisdom.

    • @alishadennis7769
      @alishadennis7769 2 года назад +13

      Yes love. God is telling you that you don't want a big mess in your young life from rushing in & being emotional 😭 & too thirsty to fulfill a dream in your heart ❤️🙏😅 & head with the wrong person or prematurely at the wrong time before you are both the mature people of purpose you are supposed to be to match up in a serious union of marriage !!!
      My younger relative is in a mess now for getting married to the wrong person & most her friends did too & they are divorced before reaching 30 years old & with kids they must do most or all the work & care for !!!
      Get your blessings walking in step with Gods wisdom & guidance who lives you, & wants the best for you & us if we just trust him have a good happy life & be matched up right & timely with Gods good approval & blessed right choice for ya!!!
      Happy 😁❤️🙏 Blessed New 🆕 Years darlin young lady!!! Your blessed stay blessed & God led & wise 🤔🦉❤️.

    • @8adassa
      @8adassa 2 года назад +4

      🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

    • @abundantluxury8548
      @abundantluxury8548 2 года назад +4

      Yes. Thank you and Thank God☺️🙏🏽.

  • @millicentstollenwerck5239
    @millicentstollenwerck5239 2 года назад +65

    Not long ago I was telling my 92 year old grandma my dream wedding. I remembered she asked me "Do you want a wedding or do you want to be married?" She gave me something to think about.

  • @purpleprincess8998
    @purpleprincess8998 2 года назад +67

    Tony, PLEASE stop apologizing for your Southern accent, vernacular and the manner(s) in which you express yourself. People who are critical of you and cannot appreciate the teachings you bring to the table do NOT deserve access to your wisdom. Please NEVER CHANGE. My family has Southern roots, and that’s one of the main things that drew me to your channel. YOU ARE REAL, and you keep it 100. Thank you for that! Those ‘articulate’ critics can just leave as far as I’m concerned. I LOVE YOUR REALNESS. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR WIFE, and I thank GOD for you, your teachings, and your wisdom. KEEP BEING SOUTHERN/‘COUNTRY’ YOU. Your loyal fans love it, appreciate it and accept you for who you are!✅🙏🏽

    • @keaharvey4068
      @keaharvey4068 2 года назад +5

      I couldn't have said it better myself .His country accent and venecular makes him unique it's his je ne sais quoi if you will .

    • @optimist-heart
      @optimist-heart Год назад +1

      100% Agree

  • @CoCo-yv3hl
    @CoCo-yv3hl 2 года назад +18

    I decided to call off the engagement & marriage. I’m just not willing to accept mediocrity or play second fiddle to his mother other family & friends. If I put myself on a pedestal then I need my mate to also. Ppl out here wanting to get married but are not prepared for a marriage 🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @angiedee5124
    @angiedee5124 2 года назад +33

    "Ruth and Boaz sound like they went to the courthouse."😂😂

  • @kibibishaw1194
    @kibibishaw1194 2 года назад +68

    My Parents married at the YMCA wearing denim 😆 ... Year 35 they renewed their vows at a huge formal dream wedding I planned for them. They’ve been married 46 years now … gone ahead and RENEW your vows and give MRS. G her dream wedding, Tony. I promise y’all it will be super FUN! 😊✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

    • @beefaye6861
      @beefaye6861 2 года назад +9

      "35 yrs"....GET DWN 💃 👏👏💃 💃

  • @cherh
    @cherh 2 года назад +26

    Was just talking to my family about this. I told them I'm not having a wedding. We going to the courthouse. I'm not spending money to feed people to come celebrate our nuptials. To me that's dumb asl lol we using that money to travel and enjoy US! At our 10 year mark we will do a renewl of our wedding vows to celebrate how far we came as husband & wife. Everyone dress up come eat & drink with us! I want to be HAPPILY married not just married. 😘🥰💫

  • @damarish.torres145
    @damarish.torres145 2 года назад +55

    I believe in marriage it’s so sad how marriage is something very few people believe in.

    • @alishadennis7769
      @alishadennis7769 2 года назад +5

      Sin & immediate self satisfaction & excitement especially sexually or to get some thing from the other person no matter how like sadly winning a game of getting over in people & telling buddies like a joke.
      Most people are not chosing righteousness nor holiness or ling term goodness faithfulness & trust & commitment the right way & in marriage God 🙏 bless them with. Cheating G player stuff is destructive & a losing way of life.
      Chose with Gods standards & guidance to be blessed & loved & protected & respected.
      Marriage is already a big serious union & lots of true personal work between two people who must have God in it for wisdom & help along the way !!!

  • @Thestateofreview
    @Thestateofreview 2 года назад +32

    I really like the idea of having ceremonies for weddings at the 5 to 10 year mark rather than initially when you get married. Most divorces happen before then and if you make it to 10 years you should certainly celebrate.

  • @Dr.Elaine1
    @Dr.Elaine1 2 года назад +34

    You gotta pay attention to his or her temperament.”
    You gotta get real.
    You really want to vet this person’s background, upbringing, family.
    You have to be willing to carry their baggage.
    You’re taking your time.
    Y’all got to be willing, can y’all carry each other’s baggage.
    You are making decisions from a whole place, from a healthy place, from a healed place.” TG

  • @dorothymatthews6690
    @dorothymatthews6690 2 года назад +51

    Hi Tony. Sober but such sound wisdom! My daughter got married 13 years ago and did a destination wedding on a cruise ship in Miami. Only those who could and wanted to support her and my son in law showed up. It was about 30 people. The wedding and reception was absolutely beautiful and all in the same room and after the wedding we got off the ship and she and her husband sailed away for a 10 day Western Caribbean Cruise. The rest of us stayed over in Miami for a couple more days vacationing. They celebrated their 13th year anniversary in August 2019 and now have two beautiful children. This is how I'm going to do it. Only those that can afford to support my marriage will be there. As she said she was not going to spend 50 to 75 dollars a plate for 300 naysayers to give her a 25.00 wedding gift. Brilliant!

  • @womenwhodate7643
    @womenwhodate7643 2 года назад +65

    Many people break their own hearts by loving a fantasy not the person that stands before them. Great video again, you set a great example for all us creators and viewers through your channel 🥰

  • @breannn
    @breannn 2 года назад +27

    I’m glad that you mentioned that marriage will not always be hot and steamy. A lot of men gets bored and chase a fantasy with other women. Over time beauty and handsomeness will fade. It’s take maturity to be married and committed.

    • @overcomerbtbojesus
      @overcomerbtbojesus 2 года назад +1

      Especially when the kids come along - you’ll be up all night with the kids not in bed with each other 😂

  • @Markitta21
    @Markitta21 2 года назад +37

    Going on 12 years of marriage from the age of 19, I can attest this a TRUE word here! Marriage takes much work, patience, and care for the other.

  • @tedithomas6996
    @tedithomas6996 2 года назад +63

    Tony...you are so right!! My family always say a man will falsify his application to get you. I'm really checking those applications now!!

    • @fah232
      @fah232 2 года назад +4

      Oh, yes he will. My ex husband told me he had 4 children that he never mentioned 2 days before the wedding.

    • @tamarag9981
      @tamarag9981 2 года назад +6

      @@fah232 Wow. I don't respect any man that denies or hide their kids.

    • @CoCo-yv3hl
      @CoCo-yv3hl 2 года назад

      Facts found out so much stuff after we were together 🤦🏽‍♀️ the test & hidden agendas are endless put if they put that same energy in what’s right they might be decent

  • @alexisforteza_
    @alexisforteza_ 2 года назад +18

    The time for over elaborate weddings is being exposed. The more elaborate weddings I’ve been too, sadly never lasted.

  • @fah232
    @fah232 2 года назад +94

    Always listen to your intuition. On my wedding day, I was on my way to decorate where the dinner was going to be after the wedding and a voice came to me so clear and said "don't do it". It sounded like someone was in my truck with me how clear it was. But I didn't listen, and needless to say I'm divorced. But through the whole ceremony I kept thinking about that voice but I didn't want to embarrass him in front our families.

    • @my7thoughts7exactly63
      @my7thoughts7exactly63 2 года назад +17

      Wow! What an experience.

    • @beefaye6861
      @beefaye6861 2 года назад +6

      Wow.....the day of....oohh weee

    • @michealsworld7689
      @michealsworld7689 2 года назад +21

      I had the same experience while reciting my vows….That is the Holy Spirit…He left me and moved in with another woman…I know better going forward

    • @arandaholley1719
      @arandaholley1719 2 года назад +3

      Did the voice sound like thunder or a waterfall ?

    • @beefaye6861
      @beefaye6861 2 года назад

      @@michealsworld7689 wow!....that KARMA...smh

  • @lb1234ify
    @lb1234ify 2 года назад +10

    Was married for 43 years and we got married by the Justice of the Peace.

  • @xavia01
    @xavia01 2 года назад +13

    "She salty" and he got a "cavity he don't know about" I'm over here cracking up!!!!! lmao You preaching, TG!!!!! lol

  • @beefaye6861
    @beefaye6861 2 года назад +14

    Im not studdn a wedding....my goal is a HEALTHY relationship....ppl crazy out here 😵

  • @DeoneeEats
    @DeoneeEats 2 года назад +21

    BE OK WITH WALKING AWAY 🚶‍♀️ 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🧘🏽‍♀️🧘🏽‍♀️🧘🏽‍♀️

  • @camuyana
    @camuyana 2 года назад +83

    I am in tears as I'm writing to you Tony. The reason is when I hear a man like you that wants to protect a woman and gives advice why you should be protecting yourself I get a sense of safety just by listening to you. There's no better place to be than with a man you feel loved and safe when in his presence.

    • @alyssakalette
      @alyssakalette 2 года назад +13

      It does give hope. And one thing that was told to me about being with a man who has a temper and was abusive to me was, if you don't have peace, it's not from God. Sounds like common sense right? I needed to hear and believe this. God did not die and rise, for us to be in bondage and living in fear, unprotected by an unhealthy man.

    • @alyssakalette
      @alyssakalette 2 года назад +3

      @@kaleema1987 Thank you for sharing that and being transparent. I love your honesty. The truth shall set us free 🙏🏼❤ I'm thankful you are not in that situation/relationship anymore. I am praying for God to bring us our husband He has for each of us who is truly saved, safe, protective, slow to anger, gentle yet strong, handsome (had to throw that in 😆) honest, faithful and a man of integrity. Let us prepare to be the wife God wants us to be as well!

    • @alyssakalette
      @alyssakalette 2 года назад +3

      @@kaleema1987 A to the men!!!! It's dangerous and gives me anxiety.. God is still helping with my PTSD

    • @yourstruly1984
      @yourstruly1984 2 года назад +2

      Yes.. Tony gives me hope. If my husband isn't anything like Tony Gaskins I don't want him

    • @lashondarochell7584
      @lashondarochell7584 2 года назад +6

      @@alyssakalette Yes What a Beautiful sentiment I wholeheartedly agree I just broke up with my boyfriend he put my daughter and myself out on Christmas Eve because my daughter talked back to him Thank God I had my own place. Mind you I disciplined her but that wasn't good enough for him, I provided the Christmas dinner he cooked but I felt he wanted to leave the relationship because he kept saying he was not sure about me, I wished I would have left sooner but Thank God 🙏 I didn't marry him because if he had proposed before that happened with him putting us out I would have accepted it. Trying to heal and love on myself Blessings to you.

  • @TrinekaClayton
    @TrinekaClayton 2 года назад +11

    Marriage is God's way for us to experience His unconditional love in human form 💕

  • @ky8691
    @ky8691 2 года назад +16

    This is a serious conversation that needs to be had. When my husband approached me about marriage I knew that he was who God called me to be with however I still prayed about it. I am 26 years old and I will tell any woman that marriage is not about the dress or wedding. It's not about I'm tired of being lonely or I'm just ready to settle down. Marriage is about the covenant that you are making before God to love someone in a selfless way. If you truly aren't ready don't do it.

  • @beefaye6861
    @beefaye6861 2 года назад +28

    THIS IS GREAT ADVICE....I GOT MARRIED IN 8 MONTHS....TO A CHURCH MAN.....IT WAS THE WORSE MISTAKE OF MY LIFE....HE WAS A MONSTER 👹....GOD PROTECTED ME AND I GOT OUT ALIVE AFTER A YEAR....LESSON LEARNED....PLEASE LISTEN TO "TG" 🙏

    • @CoCo-yv3hl
      @CoCo-yv3hl 2 года назад

      🥰

    • @jesusisking3722
      @jesusisking3722 2 года назад +6

      Yup, wolf in sheep clothing. Just because a men says they a Christan those not mean they are. Always gotta look at a personal fruit. Do they have the fruits of the spirit. Whatever is hidden will come to light.

    • @bellag2864
      @bellag2864 2 года назад +2

      Did you see any red flags? I have a christian guy who was trying to rush me. It's making me uneasy

    • @beefaye6861
      @beefaye6861 2 года назад +1

      @@bellag2864 Yes...that was the red flag (rushing)....but he used religion to convince me....I should have used caution but we live n learn. 😳

    • @staciadavis3714
      @staciadavis3714 2 года назад +1

      @@bellag2864 Please be careful!

  • @CoachLove
    @CoachLove 2 года назад +36

    👍🏽That's another key, no one comes completely healed from the experiences of their past. By listening, you get the chance to pray for whether or not that's something you're designed to help them get through.

  • @annettesolomon1347
    @annettesolomon1347 2 года назад +18

    I'm ok walking away, he's shown me his true colors aftwr he moved me and daughter to his state, and then all the red flags came out. And I'm no longer going to marry him. He's shown me who he is under pressure ,his words did not match his actions when under pressure.

    • @chrisharris2367
      @chrisharris2367 2 года назад +2

      i dont understand why men do that and flip the script when they marry or yal move away from family....sorry to hear; i'm going thru something similar

  • @DeoneeEats
    @DeoneeEats 2 года назад +11

    You Preaching, your wife was unhappy about the court house 🏠 but look 👁👁 at her now !! Y'all are so blessed and she sharp.....😁😁👊🏽👊🏽

  • @kharyzma4u
    @kharyzma4u 2 года назад +30

    Tony knows what he's talking about, listen to him!He's married and in the Lord. There are some men who say that they want marriage and yet are listening to and quoting men in the dark who haven't had a successful marriage 😉 They're quick to criticize the men who are married giving out sound advice. Beware! Tony's advice is 💯

  • @shenquejames7598
    @shenquejames7598 2 года назад +7

    My husband and I got married at the courthouse. We have been happily married 18yrs this year. We decided to do a 20yr vowel renewal.

  • @chefcharlieskitchen533
    @chefcharlieskitchen533 2 года назад +16

    He said "how many roaches they had" w a straight face and this is my face🤣😭

  • @torriemcglory2149
    @torriemcglory2149 2 года назад +22

    "Chemistry, Connection, Communication" that sounds like a GREAT course TG ;) Great vid as well!

  • @joycesexton2495
    @joycesexton2495 2 года назад +23

    Sisters y'all better go seek Jesus 🙏 stop being anxious learn from megan and Devon .Happy new year 🎉🎈🎈

  • @malcolmwilcher7941
    @malcolmwilcher7941 2 года назад +59

    Thank you for this video ‼️ I’m on a path of healing myself after my messed up with my girl.. I’m currently doing therapy and reading my Bible trying and going to reinvent myself… I got caught up in myself, I had a problem with communicating.. Because I absolutely hate yelling… other issues dealing with my pride and ego.. but that changes today.. I may not get my woman back.. but I’m striving to be a better person.. for Christ and myself‼️ therefore for this mistake will never happen again.. I’m subscribing to your page and going to watch more of your videos.. God Bless

    • @eyt1985
      @eyt1985 2 года назад +4

      Congratulations on choosing YOU.
      You got this King 💪🏾

    • @satoyaspencer2215
      @satoyaspencer2215 2 года назад +5

      That’s a great attitude to have. You will make it. God bless you✨

  • @DeoneeEats
    @DeoneeEats 2 года назад +5

    Haunting, Daunting, Taunting.......COME THRU HEREEEEEEEE !! YESSSSS

  • @chantelelliott6641
    @chantelelliott6641 2 года назад +19

    " They do not start peepin' in your household because your little raggedy marriage certificate came in the mail!" This took me outta here! lolll Great Video.

  • @trulycay5714
    @trulycay5714 2 года назад +10

    marriage is part of THE BLESSING HEAR ON EARTH . IN THE BEGINNING ITS NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO LIVE ALONE.

  • @chuletani6962
    @chuletani6962 2 года назад +24

    What I’m starting to believe is that Therapy is good for having exploratory conversations that promote self reflection while Life Coaching helps when you’re ready to take action and would like suggestions for steps to take/an accountability partner. This is clinical mental health situations aside of course. Good knowledge as always, Brother Tony!

  • @misspeacelove7395
    @misspeacelove7395 2 года назад +8

    It´s really problematic that the term "narcissism" is used all the time, because you end up seeing a narcissist everywhere and even start wondering if you´re one yourself for setting boundaries etc.

    • @bellag2864
      @bellag2864 2 года назад

      So true! I was with a real narcissist for 20 years, that was hell but now that I escaped I'm afraid I'm seeing signs in everyone and even myself. I need more healing

  • @mommymiaworld3168
    @mommymiaworld3168 2 года назад +8

    I fell asleep feeding my daughter while listening to this lastnight..
    I woke up, & I told God, to bless the room! Im right back this morning!

  • @jasminesfamilypurpose1408
    @jasminesfamilypurpose1408 2 года назад +14

    You are my go to person when it comes to relationship advice. I honestly feel that we are hearing about narcissism because it’s apart of the times we are in. The Bible tells us we will be lovers of themselves.

  • @angiedee5124
    @angiedee5124 2 года назад +9

    "I know the assistant coach had some breath on him." 😂😂😂

  • @LA-tg7lt
    @LA-tg7lt 2 года назад +5

    “Psyco analyzing” “sounds good right there” 😩😂🙏🏾🙌🏾💪🏾👍🏾✨

  • @trulycay5714
    @trulycay5714 2 года назад +14

    I'm 50 years old stuff has to make sense now I'm not investing in anything and don't get a return on my investment . I just say except the lord build your house I don't have time to waste at this age. you can recover quick from speed bumps but train wrecks take a long time to recover from.

    • @alishadennis7769
      @alishadennis7769 2 года назад +1

      Amen, for wisdom & the blessings of trusting in the love & guidance of our father above!! Learning our life lessons ,& doing better to not repeat our foolishness & lose out on our true blessing for longer times of hurt & regret as well. Healing takes time.
      Being renewed takes time & wisdom.
      Your right about this.!!!!
      We always need to be in the place of asking God & getting ready to be a blessing & receiving from our all knowing God, our own blessing of a mate & husband, the life our life's path & purpose that's right for us !!!
      All with Gods 🙏 🙏 good & blessed right way & good timing also , as he readies us period. True wisdom you said it sis 🤣🙏
      Happy blessed New Years 🎈🎉🎈🎈🎉 to ya!!

  • @renita589
    @renita589 2 года назад +83

    You're so right Tony! If you TRULY love someone...having a "wedding" is not what's most important but it's the actual marriage that matters, wherever it may take place. My late husband & I had an intimate house ceremony with a few close relatives & friends. I was 18 and he was 21. My marriage lasted for 27 BLESSED years before he transitioned to be with the Lord. I'll be 51 this year and a widow for almost 6 yrs at this point. I feel I'm ready to entertain a relationship but so far, there's only been one person I've had conversations. It turns out that he was a 58 year old "grown boy" and I don't have time for that... at all.🙄Very discouraging but I know that what is meant for me will come...in God's timing! Anyway, I always thoroughly enjoy your videos! Keep them coming & stay Blessed!👑🙏🏽

    • @abundantluxury8548
      @abundantluxury8548 2 года назад +2

      You believe in being responsible 👑.

    • @renita589
      @renita589 2 года назад +1

      @@abundantluxury8548 Absolutely! Thank you😊

    • @bernadetterolle3286
      @bernadetterolle3286 2 года назад +3

      I know those type

    • @renita589
      @renita589 2 года назад +6

      @@bernadetterolle3286 Those type are definitely out there but when you know your worth... you don't let them waste your time! I'm waiting for the 🤴🏾to match my 👸🏾!!!😊🙏🏽

    • @mymakersdaughter6041
      @mymakersdaughter6041 2 года назад +3

      I had a 56 year old grown boy I had to walk away from in 2020. I don’t have any interest whatsoever in entertaining that kind of nonsense. Not at ALL!!!

  • @thesimoneshow2608
    @thesimoneshow2608 2 года назад +9

    that couple, I was talking about them with a guy in my family. We agreed that that's not the type of guy she truly wants, he likes her more than she likes him. She may love him as a person, and for how good he seems to treat her, but it doesn't seem like she's in love with him. In conversation with men, they understand that, women always think I'm just hating or don't know what I'm talking about though, when I bring it up.

  • @DasiaGrady
    @DasiaGrady 2 года назад +8

    Mrs. Gaskins spoiled lol she don’t believe in no budget 👑 i love this!! God bless you n your Tony 🙏🏼

  • @andreahoward2683
    @andreahoward2683 2 года назад +10

    Basically y’all it’s best to be single FOREVER! Look at all these relationship gurus telling us not to do this, don’t do that, be with this kind of man, be with that kind of man, and women out number the men so where the heck we’re going to find a good man????? On top of them telling us to wait, heal, pray, fast, etc 😩😩 I can’t be the only one who feels like this.

    • @YannaNo
      @YannaNo 2 года назад +2

      I try to take breaks from listening to dating advice but it’s hard when I’m bored during work and don’t want to listen to current events. It will make you hopeless and confused so take what you hear very loosely.

    • @indigohelps7715
      @indigohelps7715 2 года назад +5

      I’ve learned to let go of control. Instead of controlling every narrative in my life, just letting go and letting God and experience the moment while staying true to morals.

  • @lovelyabi8647
    @lovelyabi8647 2 года назад +9

    Don’t for get to send me my invitation to your wedding to Mrs. Gaskins, Mr. Gaskins. Lol! You guys are amazing!!

  • @irlandaise5631
    @irlandaise5631 2 года назад +10

    yeah I want to marry in my jeans and hoodies and with no friends..but then I dropped all my friends - I just want to sign the contract but in fact I prefer to be private . Thanks I want to hear this out!

  • @iamlovetrishann76
    @iamlovetrishann76 2 года назад +5

    Narcissism to me just boils down to the evil doers whom hearts are far from God! Spiritual war not against flesh and blood.

  • @MsSmith-nb2yn
    @MsSmith-nb2yn 2 года назад +9

    I am hollerin off of you and the PH balance and the extra saltiness.🤣🤣🤣 Annnd, you said it all with a straight face.

    • @alexisa5409
      @alexisa5409 2 года назад

      When I tell you I am crying laughing at this! Like real tears…Tony just came outta nowhere with it and that’s what made it so funny!😂😂😩😩😭😭

  • @fayewearing581
    @fayewearing581 2 года назад +20

    I just explained this to my sons. I made the mistake as a teenager (19) by marrying for the sake of my unborn child. I quickly learned the maturity levels between he & I. My parents were against it. His parents warned me that he wasn't ready. After 7months it ended. I was actually relieved. My eldest married young & repeated my past after 3yrs. My youngest THINKS a big wedding solidifies marriage. I will be sharing this with both of them as well as keeping notes for my future. Thanks for always being transparent & knowledgeable.

    • @ulricka2131
      @ulricka2131 2 года назад +3

      A big wedding solidifies marriage? ABSOLUTELY NOT. but it can leave the spouses in a lot of debt that they will be still paying even after getting a divorce.
      I pray your child understands marriage is for grown ups and whole people, not for babies.
      We do not want them to repeat our mistakes.
      I pray your adult children understand and have long and happy marriages🙏🏾

    • @jesusisking3722
      @jesusisking3722 2 года назад +1

      Break generational curses.

  • @judithjackson1086
    @judithjackson1086 2 года назад +5

    Let me get my notebook...I'm engaged

  • @Prettyeyes531
    @Prettyeyes531 2 года назад +3

    I am for marriage I hope one day I will meet the man god has for me. I'm speaking it into existence but when he comes in my direction we won't rush we will definitely really get to know each other first.

  • @LittleMissSunshine721
    @LittleMissSunshine721 8 месяцев назад +2

    A courthouse wedding sounds more and more like the way to go. I’m getting older and when I meet my future husband, I am NOT going to want to wait a year and a half stressing over caterers and bridesmaids and all of the other stressful things that come with wedding planning. We can do all of that at the tenth year anniversary. ☺️💒💕

  • @ashley_audacious
    @ashley_audacious 2 года назад +7

    Ohh wow just started watching & im shocked Tony is extending the time to know when you want to marry from 2 year to 3 years 😮😮

    • @overcomerbtbojesus
      @overcomerbtbojesus 2 года назад +1

      I’m of the opinion that most young adults especially young men under 30 should not marry for several years 3-4 yrs of dating - young adults have plenty of time to vet their person and make the right decision- people past 35 have some life experience under their belt and have the capability of making wiser choices so 2-3 yrs for the over 35 crowd is a good time frame imo although age is no guarantee of wisdom- even older adults can be immature and foolish but for the most part we have it together than the young ones who just look at how great the sex is

  • @Jasmyne444
    @Jasmyne444 2 года назад +6

    Tony, I thought it was just me who had the same theory on weddings! I’ve always told my family, I’m not having a wedding, I’m just going to the courthouse and and maybe throwing a small party in somebody’s backyard. 9 times out of 10, most of the people at your wedding do not really care for you as a person and only a handful of people know both of you that intimately. I’ve always thought the idea of wedding ceremonies (not marriage - I believe in the sanctity of marriage) were weird anyways. 50-200 people all staring and watching you profess your love to someone - just strange 🙃
    And that is such a wise word to actually have a wedding ceremony after a previously established successful marriage! The world is not ready for this!!! Love it! ✨👏🏽

  • @trulycay5714
    @trulycay5714 2 года назад +8

    marriage/covenant I'm amazed at how I see many couples been together for 10 years or more so I say if you have invested that many years why not. it shouldn't take years and years

  • @KrystleLaughter
    @KrystleLaughter 2 года назад +15

    This teaching is awesome. It could literally be part of a course.

  • @mmommo-hx4dx
    @mmommo-hx4dx 2 года назад +2

    his mom was so crazy that I thought she was blind and she was not! married for 34 years (together 37), he cheated from day 1 and never stopped. Shocking was you say Tony, blows me away how you know everything. you hear me? everything! point blank period.

  • @denisemyers733
    @denisemyers733 2 года назад +11

    Yesss this spoke volumes. On so many levels just listening and observing before you get married will save you a life time of unnecessary heart aches and pain. And years of time you can’t get back. Thank you for educating us to new knowledge.

  • @Prettyeyes531
    @Prettyeyes531 2 года назад +3

    I definitely agree with you Tony that you don't want to rush into marriage. It's two things you have to make sure you choose wisely . First thing is who you have kids with. Secondly who you married. It's a lot of folks getting married to any body just to have a wedding to prove a point.

  • @shanicehoyle5393
    @shanicehoyle5393 2 года назад +5

    Cant get married being unequally yoked with an unbeliever, It was pure hell. You cant really do much. Just step back and let God handle the rest.

  • @peaches2977
    @peaches2977 2 года назад +24

    I just wanted to say thank you Tony. My spiritual life and marriage has changed for the better by your videos. Everything you have said in your videos has been on point. You have help me SEE.

  • @ssonkogarvey
    @ssonkogarvey 2 года назад +12

    Very good video Mr Gaskins. Not something talked about a lot as the majority of people (including myself) can be distracted with the fantasy of marriage and not the reality of marriage. This is food for thought before saying "I Do". I'm looking forward to more videos like these.

  • @gwanajones4176
    @gwanajones4176 2 года назад +8

    My family believes in handouts too

    • @gwanajones4176
      @gwanajones4176 2 года назад +4

      If you are doing good, they think you should help them.

  • @practicalteachingchronicle6631
    @practicalteachingchronicle6631 2 года назад +5

    I just did a video on "Before I Do" You better know it. And you better make sure you fast and prayer and wait on God for the answer. Don't be hasty people!

  • @expertonmyself
    @expertonmyself 2 года назад +9

    "y'all stay out the comments with the medical diagnosis." i fell out. LOL

  • @amberstephens1287
    @amberstephens1287 2 года назад +3

    What you do for a living, who you marry and have children with, are the three most important decisions that can affect your quality of life. Be selective and be smart and most of all grow yourself.

  • @cindeed4422
    @cindeed4422 2 года назад +8

    I always say people marry the wedding and not the marriage. That’s why over 50% still end in divorce. People don’t want to put in the work, but they sure want to look good!

    • @ya.baldheadedmama97
      @ya.baldheadedmama97 2 года назад +1

      I agree, but there’s one special case I’ve seen of a woman I know in particular who married her husband secretly because everyone in the family warned her about this man and she went through with it anyway because she was getting to a certain age.

    • @shutit4024
      @shutit4024 2 года назад +1

      @@ya.baldheadedmama97 those can be bad too if it’s with the wrong man

    • @ya.baldheadedmama97
      @ya.baldheadedmama97 2 года назад

      @@shutit4024 Your profile picture got me cracking up 😂

    • @overcomerbtbojesus
      @overcomerbtbojesus 2 года назад +1

      Absolutely- we as women have got to stop being so giddy over putting a wedding dress and gold band without first developing self- love and an identity apart from having a boo

  • @mmills860
    @mmills860 2 года назад +5

    Tony is my big brother in my mind🙏🏾🤞🏾

  • @ana______6567
    @ana______6567 2 года назад +4

    Omg so true about therapist not giving any feedback, when you ask them what they think they don't give you their opinion or the advice what they would do...it's so weird, it's true you can't relate to such person or trust them with your deepest problems, like how can you when you have no clue what they think of what you just said....

  • @evangelistdenisestephenson113
    @evangelistdenisestephenson113 2 года назад +5

    If it's not a fit don't force it.

  • @frankieallen4900
    @frankieallen4900 2 года назад +3

    Great video. I've always said people can't hide for a year. If you pay attention, it'll show up. It may be subtle but it's there. Big, expensive weddings are a total waste of money. It's for show and it's stressful. I too am for the courthouse. The marriage is the most important.

  • @SimplysadaJ
    @SimplysadaJ 2 года назад +1

    Loved this!!! This video was so on point 💯

  • @Agiftthathealstheheart
    @Agiftthathealstheheart 2 года назад

    Thank you for keeping it real!!

  • @bdoe3591
    @bdoe3591 2 года назад +1

    Tony always speaks the truth

  • @zee_princess4788
    @zee_princess4788 2 года назад +1

    Needed this!

  • @LoganRena
    @LoganRena 2 года назад

    This is the realest video, thanks Tony 🙌🏾

  • @trulycay5714
    @trulycay5714 2 года назад +13

    I didn't let my kids dad come and stay it's been 15 years my son is 15 I knew by the spirit I had gave birth to lust.

  • @RaquelRN08
    @RaquelRN08 2 года назад +1

    Thank you for the powerful message! Tony

  • @temekiawilliams8467
    @temekiawilliams8467 2 года назад +2

    Great message

  • @LA.4.LIFE.76
    @LA.4.LIFE.76 2 года назад +3

    Mr. Gaskins please get a shirt call “ LISTEN TO ME” lol! I be rolling when you say that 🤣🤣🤣

  • @finally0famous
    @finally0famous 2 года назад

    I try to just keep it short. Thank you, Tony.

  • @Itsjustanna16
    @Itsjustanna16 2 года назад +3

    Thank you for your wisdom Tony! Be blessed!

  • @Mimi-tt7qr
    @Mimi-tt7qr 2 года назад

    Lots of love and appreciation grand Tony
    Such a great message 💯✌️🙌🙏

  • @GreensLady
    @GreensLady 2 года назад +3

    Well said!

  • @nkechi85
    @nkechi85 2 года назад +5

    Thanks for sharing this video! Divine timing 🙏🏾

  • @latriciasimien4304
    @latriciasimien4304 2 года назад +3

    Amen! Good teaching!! You helping someone get delivered as well.

  • @michaela7115
    @michaela7115 2 года назад +3

    35:31 Yes!! We are so backwards. Makes so much sense. Successful marriage and then the wedding.

  • @creamofthecrop4656
    @creamofthecrop4656 2 года назад +6

    I agree with you, period.

  • @maryihezie1190
    @maryihezie1190 Месяц назад

    This is so good and deep!

  • @stephaniewendell-trinidad3494
    @stephaniewendell-trinidad3494 2 года назад +1

    You crack me up Tony while delivering a real and powerful message! Thank you and God Bless

  • @hindsight-coach9259
    @hindsight-coach9259 2 года назад +6

    Happy Wednesday, happy new year all 🙌🏼🥳 God bless your 2022!

  • @rosagreene4364
    @rosagreene4364 2 года назад +3

    I always appreciate Tony being so transparent in his videos. Good message as always. Thanks Tony