When you keep your legs closed, your discernment goes through the roof and you realize that most people aren't worth sleeping with anyway. I'm going 3 years strong!!
When sex isn’t on the table I find it so much easier to walk away at the slightest sign of a red flag w/o feeling like I’ve lost anything. When sex is on the table I’ve felt obligated to work things out and a little hesitant to walk away.
Yes. All the other times when there was sexual contact happening between a man and I, I found it hard to leave even when the red flags were waving in my face. Just recently, I had one relationship without any sexual contact. I saw right through him. I left after 2 months in. It was easy.
Rebecca-Joy Henson same here. I used to tell people it was like seeing a train 🚊 coming at you and not being able to get off the track even though you know you’re going to get hurt. Soul ties are nothing to play with at all! Thank God for deliverance 🙏🏽
Yo............ ASAP! for real though! 😳. I have been abstinent since 2006, it has truly been a VERY peaceful journey for me, and *ALSO* I was able to see my pathology (my taste and choices based on what was familiar to me *EVEN WHEN IT WAS DYSFUNCTIONAL*). As God was revealing to me those matters, I am truly grateful for the ability to make the shift and changes necessary to attract quality Men.
Im going to need a man who was abstaining as well. Theres no way when the time comes that I will allow my deliverance to be contaminated by someone who was still being promiscuous.
Tony: How many rings has being on your back got your? Me: 0!!!😅 Tony: How much real love have you gotten? Me: 0!!😅 Be blessed tony. No longer lying on my back. Waiting for my husband and enjoying my singleness.
Sharice Bryant Trust me, you are doing the right thing. I was raised by my grandma, who instilled those principals in me. My grandma had practiced abstinence & she married my grandfather who loved her till the day he died. I have been married twice, but it works. The saying is true, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Most times, people give things away because they don’t want it anymore. Our body is a precious gift, that should be for your husband only. Trust me you are going to meet your husband & the intimacy is gonna be amazing. 😉
Sharice Bryant Thank you. I got those husbands by NOT having sex until we married, doing just as Tony explained. Back up your boundaries with actions. As Tony said, go home at a decent hour, no make-out sessions,etc. ( This definitely helps with not falling into temptation)They couldn't stay away from me. Now the marriages didn't work out due to infidelity & not on my part. After the divorce, I went back to my original boundaries, even with my ex-husband. If you don't want me, then you free to go on.( A lyric from Fantasia's song " Free yourself")😄 I was celibate for 6 years before marrying again. My point is it is a decision you make that you are determined to do the right thing & we are pleasing God. It is a guaranteed win by God. The pluses are, you don't have to worry about contracting an std, unwanted pregnancy, you are not paranoid about is he cheating ( remember he is to be celibate as well), you have time to really get to know this man's characteristics ( good/bad), getting to know his friends & family, etc. It is a wonderful experience. Might I add, when you are celibate and you finally get your man. He is gonna always remember the lady you were with him, you were not easy with him. Therefore, you are not gonna cheat on him easily either. He is gonna be confident that you ain't gonna fall for anybody easily. He won't be insecure if other men happen to flirt with you, because he knows how you operate. Once again I am proud of you & all the ladies who practice celibacy. It is the right way, especially in the eyes of God. If we disobey then we have to suffer the consequences, whatever they may be.❤️
@@jnt6928 I was stuck / in love with my toxic ex of 5 years sometimes on and off continuing to get hurt . I finally said enough is enough . I prayed on it daily asking God to release all the love I 9had fôr my ex to heal me from all the pain and for me to move on without looking back .... It worked i feel so much better lighter happier free and can move on !!!!
I just stopped talking to a man that I thought was a great catch until I disclosed that I was abstinent until marriage. He said he wasn't willing to do that and I gracefully bowed out. He tried to explain that sexual compatibility was very important to him and I did not waste my energy to explain to him that sexual compatibility is a myth, and not found by engaging in the actual act of sex. It is a mental compatibility that should be sought. It also let me know I was not valuable to him. Total time spent 3 weeks and moving on. Now if sex would have been involved, all the distraction would have dragged this out to 1 year, 2 years and so on of wasted time.
You will be single for a while but I learned a long time ago it's best to be abstinent and filter out the ones who only want to lay and play anyway. Thanks Tony many need to hear this!
Sex doesn't get you a relationship, so I don't believe you will be single longer than if you give it up. You just spend the time alone rather than unequally yoked until the right one comes alone ;)
Abstinence will make you reevaluate your life..your worth and what you want and deserve...and bring you to a deeper relationship with Christ...it is an awesome journey
Ladies, your body is the most precious thing god ever made. It's not to be given to every man you meet me. It's not good to take all them spirits or soul ties I should say.
You don't lose anything by having sex. If you're a whole person to begin with, you're still a whole person after sex. Believing that you lose something when having sex is diseased thinking.
As a man who says or used to say “sEx iS mY lOvE lAnguAge” but now here I am hurt from all the lose sexual relations and trauma bonds/soul ties. I’m so glad I found this message!
Yes Sir These Legs Are Def Closed going on 8 yrs and i still see its not worth it the world is so full of lust n games .. It has had its good n bad days but God has kept me.. Beautiful Word Tony Im waitin on my king..if not im ok with staying this way..
@Red Sunshine oh i understand i was dating a wonderful guy til he claimed to also had been abstinent he left me hanging because i wouldn't let him test the package out ..smh like really we in our 40s grow up. So i get it we taking a chances. You got this ..Red Sunshine
@Red Sunshine gurl you better say that.. And that is one reason why i pulled back love on yourself its the best love that you can get and from God until he places that right one before you.. I raised 2 kids that are now grown got me a lil dog and doing me lolol God Bless
I am 42 years old and I have been attempting to be abstinent for the past year. It is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire life because I did not realize how damaging it was all about it. Now that I'm back dating again and I let men know that there is no sex on the table it is so easy for me to clearly walk away from them when the red flags come up. I did not form any emotional or physical attachment to them and I can truly see them clearly for who they are. And now it shows them that I have a level of respect for myself that they are not willing to deal with yes it's a little late in the game to be doing it but better late than never
Amen. I’ve been celibate now going on 5 years. BEST decision I’ve ever made. My discernment is at its highest peek. Trust me when I say it’s worth it. Love and honor your body and KNOW your worth. BE BLESSED ❤️
@@Gracieevxi I focus on other things, and put that energy into exercise and other activities also I'm part of a bible study and have support from the ladies there. I'm not one of those innocent virgins and I'm not proud of some of the things I've done but I'm moving forward and also I do NOT put myself in situations to fall (NO men are allowed in my home alone with me, unless they are family) thats another key.
Celibate 5 years and counting. I have learned that my thinking is so much clearer. My mind isn't in a fog due to premarital sex. It's easier to walk away from the foolishness. It hasn't been easy BUT God! I have to pray constantly.
Very powerful message,ladies its not too late to give yourself a second chance by closing your legs,by doing so you will attract a good man who will love you and help you break all the previous soul. ties.
So true. Mind stimulating conversations are so much more fulfilling than just sexual relationships and takes the relationship to a whole different level 💯
This...THIS!!! 😌 He's right about just spending quality time with a woman, and INVESTING in her. That's the key, because that shows you really care - that's love in ACTION.
I feel men spend time with women who open their legs unmarried etc..they ll live with you..they ll play house for the 3 minutes TG mentions..think about it..my legs and home are closed until marriage..men dont fight to spend time with me..
When you notice someone does something toxic the first time, don't wait for the second time before you address it or cut them off. Many survivors are used to the "wait and see" tactic which only leaves them vulnerable to a second attack. As your boundaries get stronger, the wait time gets shorter. You never have justify your intuition.
This message is for me because I decided to be celibate and I am 21 years old by starting my journey with Jesus this is month 2 for me. I will fight the good fight of faith in Jesus name and wait until he sends me my husband who will love me for the person I truly am and let me be the wife for him as well. 🙏🏼
jeez, this man really loves his wife. Are there even any men like this out there? i really have never been to this level....no where CLOSE!! I'll see how that goes..
There has been trials that he has endured in the past as well as a lot of growth and development through Christ for Tony to be the man that he is today (previous discussion about his life). So it is possible!
When you have been through enough people who have broken your heart, it should wake you up to see that you need to heal and change how you operate and function. We all know the definition of insanity. People are evil, unempathetic, wicked, selfish, abusive, and will do whatever they can to tear you down and destroy you. You have to protect yourself and stay celibate until you meet someone who is consistently showing you that they care about you, love you, and will wait until marriage to have sex with you. Respect yourself! This is what I learned to do.
To all the men questioning if Tony is telling the truth about women getting turned on just by men going shopping and having long conversations with them... he is absolutely telling the truth. I actually commented on another RUclipsr's video a few weeks ago with a very similar statement regarding increasing women's libido. Now when you're young and your hormones are raging it seems like the physical stuff is all that's needed. While, yes that might feel nice in the moment, mentally as a woman if I feel disconnected from the man I'm with it's like there's an invisible wall there. The physical need might get met, but mentally and emotionally I am 1,000 miles away, so it's empty. Definitely work on that deeper connection with your partner. It will do wonders.
I'm abstinent for more than a year and doing the no PMO challenge. It's so peaceful and so much easier to move on from things that weren't meant to be. Sex without love isn't worth it anyway, and all these clowns don't really love.
i'm so excited to meet my man who will go to the mall, marshalls, tj maxx, target & whole foods with me and still love me and enjoy spending every second with me lol
I dedicated my hips, lips, thighs & eyes, my history and all the mystery to me to the my Lord. I feel pure, valuable and loved more than I can ever explain or comprehend. My sistas the Lord will wash u and keep u as long as u desire to be kept. Keep pressing and making the right choices. Stay in your word and keep Bro Tony in prayer as he continues to give us the Truth. The Whole Truth. Selah✌
I’ve been abstinent for 11 months now and because of this, I have realized the true meaning of stepping in and walking in my power. The woman I was before cannot step to the woman I am now.
I am so glad I am free. I have been abstained for almost 2 years now and it's just freedom!! I am so grateful to God!!. As a medical person I see so much people with incurable disease its unreal!! You all better listen!!
I've experienced sex before marriage. And now I know why God's law makes the most sense. I'll be abstinent until marriage or for the rest of my life. and I'm perfectly fine with that.
Awww I’m so sorry for your loss beloved 🥺💕 God will ease the pain in your heart and send you another one of his best soldiers to care for you in this life 🙏🏾
Abstinence definitely amplifies self-control on an entire different level. For over 3 years I remained independently and spiritually centered in order to reframe from intimacy. Throughout this journey I have learned so much more about myself, men, what’s tolerable for me as a woman in relationships, in addition to manifesting value when it comes to courtship. Love is the action that I choose. ❤😌😇
As a sapiosexual, this video resonated with me deeply. I value mental stimulation/connection over everything, but I never experienced a relationship on that level. Tony, you and your wife are so blessed to have that type of love, and thanks for taking the time through your videos to help us create the right path to get that same love as well! 🖤
Im happy single and abstinent waiting until marriage with the grace of God helping me loving me and giving me strength every day. Im proud of myself i have made alot of positive changes in my life focusing on spending more time with God and myself. Thank you God for everything you done and doing in my life i need you. Soulties are real. One day God will bless me with the husband he ordain for me we both will be ready deep in love. I have learned and grown alot from watching your videos wow Tony this a great deep message so inspiring you always keeping it real 💯 💯thank you.
LMAO when Tony son came in. You didn’t nap did you??? You close your eyes??? I prayed for you but you’re not taking a nap, god said you need to take a nap😂😂😭😭
Be blessed. 🤞🏾 I’ve learned so much from your videos Tony. I’ve done it my way and it has caused me so much pain. Thank you God for being a redeemer. Thank you Tony for helping me.
Going on 35 in may, no kids own place decent gig. I've made mistakes but I'm still the only person I have to look out for. I'm waiting for my man. Went a year here and there without it. Last time was in October with an ex lol but im good. Thank you Mr. Gaskins I'm chillin lol, waiting on my man 🙏🙏🙏
I've been celibate for 9 years now. And, after some much needed healing on my part, I'm now dating again with the intention of remaining celibate until I get married.
He's right... The emotional connection is dope... I'm 42.. I've had that ONE TIME. . And WHOA... lol. The other stuff is Performance.. based on that bs they be singing about.. When a man makes love to your mind and he is there there... The sexual response is SERIOUS.... LOL. WHOO JESUS
I agree, i have been in terrible in 5 bad relationships and of course my intuition will always tell me leave them but never listened. In july 2019 i met the one but we were just friends and i didnt like him but when we continued to talk for hours almost everyday he finally asked me out and in november 2019 we were finally together. How i know he is the one, we understabd each other, we are each other best friends, there is not a day we dont go without talking or texting each other, he does things for me without even me asking, he bought me closer to God and for the first time in my life i feel stable. Of course i told him i am keeping my legs closed until he marries me and he was like i figure out just by the way you talk to me. He even met with my parents without me asking him and he is ready to put that ring on my finger but my parentd were like she gotta finish her university degree next year and then you can yall marry. Ladied know your worth and take off the sex on the table and be best friends first.
I'm so excited about this video! I have been abstinent for a minute now due to a toxic relationship and bad breakup. That relationship damaged me internally and it only took an act of God to bring where I am now, however, because of that relationship it matured me as a women and I became spiritually awakened. As of now, I'm TERRIFIED to be intimate with a man that is not my husband. I'm currently 28 and have no children so I can not imagine bringing a child into the world out of wedlock. I know that God will honor my prayers for a husband so I will continue to wait for him. Thank you so much, Tony, for your wisdom.
WE are going through the same experience sis. Bad breakup and can’t even imagine myself laying down with a man that is no husband. We also the same age 💓 I’ll pray for you
I’ve been abstaining since 2019. A guy approached me for conversation and we exchanged numbers. 90 days of conversation with no sex still ended with him still wanting his freedom. I’m still trying to recover from a broken heart just from 2,3,4 even 6 hour conversations with this man .
The feeling is mutual. I started watching the you tube videos late December 2019 my thinking and actions have changed so drastically. I feel empowered by all the wisdom Tony has emparted into me. All the way from Johannesburg South Africa
I was abstinence for 6 years and messed up last night. We've been friends for 20 years, dating for 4 months. I'm feeling disappointed because I really wanted to be married first.
Don't be so hard on yourself you did very well the longest I have gone absent is 6-months but that was without even trying to go abstinent. That is absolutely amazing 3 years well done I wish I could do it for that long
I was widowed young and raised 2 sons on my own. 20 years celibate, and most of the time at peace with it. I attribute that peace to a gift from God, who helped me through it. Now my nest is empty and I’m feeling the vacancy. I had begun to assume this vacancy was for sex. That my voluntary celibacy was a curse, not a blessing. In my heart I know that is wrong. Im learning, maybe it’s not. More time for time with god within me. If and when God delivers me a soulmate I pledge to be ready. I’ve waited this long. I can wait some more. Thank you for this perspective.
Listening to this now. I realize I kept myself in an unhealthy relationship where the guy never fully respected me, lied constantly, cheated, never wanted to go out, never kept his promises, didn’t have a job or car, and emotionally manipulated me. All because the sex was good. We both liked each other’s personalities too but he was just a grown boy thats still immature and I was just a lil girl that didn’t know my self worth. And looking back I realize it was definitely not worth all the hurt and pain he ended up causing me. Part of it was because I was prolly insecure and felt validation through sex, but I’m now on my journey towards self love and respect and validating my own self.
I have to say it, Tony you you are such a good man, awesome father, husband and coach, we appreciate you and the time you take out to share your knowledge, wisdom and advise with us.. and at your age, that is a gift and blessing..Thank you😊
Im so glad for salvation, you can learn this if you have a relationship with the Lord. The Lord along with the Word of God taught me my worth, taught me about Love, and taught me that giving in to my desires or lust is not going to give me what I truly desire in my heart. It's been 3 yrs waiting. I almost came close to giving in, but I could not do it. My desire to keep my word to myself and wanting God to bless me is more important.
This message was definitely what I needed to hear! I honestly prefer intimacy through other ways than just sex. This video gives me hope that the relationship I desire is possible with the right one. Be blessed💚
In the past I did it my way…. Now I am doing it God’s way! By any means necessary; it’s going to be the right way or no way! I don’t care what others think; all that matters is that I am being consistent, and obedient to the promise I made to God. Hopefully one day I will be blessed in a meaningful relationship that’s ordain by God!
All of this is so true, I’ve been saving myself for marriage but temptations have been so hard earlier in my twenties, I have taken part in this lust but not the extent of intercourse, but now I understand that I started out on this journey great, had the right values but out of insecurity I thought I had to conform, to fit in. I felt ashamed for being different, guys would tell me I’ll be single forever because I’m so picky and I take things too serious. But now I understand that I was made to be a gem and the world tried deteriorate my self worth, lying to me that I will be more worthy if I did lose my virginity. Now this does not matter to me, I am proud of it and I am so excited for the man God has for me, I am not even going to kiss anyone unless I get the status of a girlfriend. Tony be blessed, God brought your wisdom to me out of mercy for me and it was after a long time of me trying to do it my way to figure it out and leave God In everything else in my life except this part because I thought God don’t care who I marry. But now I see that He does and I am not going to worry anymore but instead to what is in my power to meet new people and make sure I choose the right ones to stay in my life. Thank you Tony. May God reimburse you for all the time spent giving out this knowledge for free. That is what I call a true servant of God.
Be blessed.... love this!!!! I'm definitely going to do things a different way. I've done things my way and in the end, wound up heartbroken, bruised and damaged. He hit it on the nail when he said your biggest sexual organ is the mind 💯💯💯
This was a deep conversation. This video could be life changing to anybody. This one video covers a lot of important power points in a real relationship.
I haven't exchanged juices in years however, I have resting witch face and I have a funky attitude. I know this about myself and God is working on me. Be Blessed 🙏🏾
As a RN I am so glad that you have shared that everyone doesn't realize that you don't have to be old to have a tradgey in your life that can change your sex life for the remainder of your life 🙏🙏
Omg I wasn't going to respond but You told the truth about the time spending with each other creates real love.I'm like your wife I use to love the Target ,Home goods,Red box days with my Ex .I was ready like freddy.😂😂😂😂😂😂
Wow!! I am a new Tribe member and have been listening to your vids for 2 months, every day non-stop and this is the BEST vid to date. Crazy thing, I've said that about every vid so far. I am now beginning to save all of them.
Another great great video Tony Gaskins,, listening to you is like listening to my smartest nephew,, someone that you know respect and relate too, I'm the same age as your mother. I was married for 21 years and we were together for 24 years. When I go back into the dating field I will be well prepared, thanks to you. Your parents did a wonderful job,,, I'm planning on taking your class on February 22, 2020. Thank you, S
This is an amazing video. I say this with respect we need more men like this that have been awaken to Live for God. The part about the emotional connection first and then women will want to connect sexually automatically in a marriage setting is on point 🙌🙌🙌
Absolutely correct; even those who can stimulate your mind can play games too. You really have to "know" God. He will lead you. You can't judge what a man say- true, but God said to be faithful to him. When a man is ready there will be no games! Under 25 they are learning themselves. In fact, we all are. This past year I have learned not to put labels on seasons, as this is who you are. We change upon knowledge and understanding. Actions speaks louder than words. Talking your worth will keep them or lose them.
@@dollyjohnson5848 the reason I said that is because in church you meet men who are very prolific and charismatic yet the flesh isnt under that anointing. They will tell you upfront what they want as "grown" men, like it's necessary. Not all if them but some. It's difficult for us all but keep showing me shallowness and selflessness I leave!! It's not worth it.
When you keep your legs closed, your discernment goes through the roof and you realize that most people aren't worth sleeping with anyway. I'm going 3 years strong!!
Ms Hill @ That’s so true
Good for you, I did some years this way too, and you're right you see things differently
Ms. Hill So true ❤️
Go girl! I’ll be a year in May!
@@TropicsFever Awesome! Keep it up sis!
When sex isn’t on the table I find it so much easier to walk away at the slightest sign of a red flag w/o feeling like I’ve lost anything. When sex is on the table I’ve felt obligated to work things out and a little hesitant to walk away.
Excellent point!
Good word! I can testify that once sex is off the table it is amazing how clearly you can hear 👂 and see 👀 foolishness quicker
Yes. All the other times when there was sexual contact happening between a man and I, I found it hard to leave even when the red flags were waving in my face. Just recently, I had one relationship without any sexual contact.
I saw right through him.
I left after 2 months in. It was easy.
Rebecca-Joy Henson same here. I used to tell people it was like seeing a train 🚊 coming at you and not being able to get off the track even though you know you’re going to get hurt. Soul ties are nothing to play with at all! Thank God for deliverance 🙏🏽
Yes girl me too! Everything foolish and phony is revealed much sooner! It’s the key lol
Yo............ ASAP! for real though! 😳. I have been abstinent since 2006, it has truly been a VERY peaceful journey for me, and *ALSO* I was able to see my pathology (my taste and choices based on what was familiar to me *EVEN WHEN IT WAS DYSFUNCTIONAL*). As God was revealing to me those matters, I am truly grateful for the ability to make the shift and changes necessary to attract quality Men.
Amen! There is no confusion and your emotions aren't taking over.
Im going to need a man who was abstaining as well. Theres no way when the time comes that I will allow my deliverance to be contaminated by someone who was still being promiscuous.
I feel the same way
@@BK-tp6jf Very true. Thank you
I bet it’s so good too , call me bae
Is it difficult finding men who are also abstinent?
@@JC-unome I feel its just not as easy to meet one who is vs one who is not, in such a hypersexual world. They are a remnant.
Abstinence = Self-Control
It is so worth it.
What if the guy keeps asking about a year of being together: “when will we have sex?”. How do we as women answer that?
@@mellead8727 I mean.. when does he want to get married? Lol
@@jesusjess7222 Right
Thank you.
Tony: How many rings has being on your back got your?
Me: 0!!!😅
Tony: How much real love have you gotten?
Me: 0!!😅
Be blessed tony. No longer lying on my back. Waiting for my husband and enjoying my singleness.
Be blessed!!!
Sharice Bryant Trust me, you are doing the right thing. I was raised by my grandma, who instilled those principals in me. My grandma had practiced abstinence & she married my grandfather who loved her till the day he died. I have been married twice, but it works. The saying is true, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Most times, people give things away because they don’t want it anymore. Our body is a precious gift, that should be for your husband only. Trust me you are going to meet your husband & the intimacy is gonna be amazing. 😉
tray s thank you so much for your encouraging words, queen! Love that your grandparents set that example for you. Be blessed!🙏🏾
YES!
Sharice Bryant Thank you. I got those husbands by NOT having sex until we married, doing just as Tony explained. Back up your boundaries with actions. As Tony said, go home at a decent hour, no make-out sessions,etc. ( This definitely helps with not falling into temptation)They couldn't stay away from me. Now the marriages didn't work out due to infidelity & not on my part. After the divorce, I went back to my original boundaries, even with my ex-husband. If you don't want me, then you free to go on.( A lyric from Fantasia's song " Free yourself")😄 I was celibate for 6 years before marrying again. My point is it is a decision you make that you are determined to do the right thing & we are pleasing God. It is a guaranteed win by God. The pluses are, you don't have to worry about contracting an std, unwanted pregnancy, you are not paranoid about is he cheating ( remember he is to be celibate as well), you have time to really get to know this man's characteristics ( good/bad), getting to know his friends & family, etc. It is a wonderful experience. Might I add, when you are celibate and you finally get your man. He is gonna always remember the lady you were with him, you were not easy with him. Therefore, you are not gonna cheat on him easily either. He is gonna be confident that you ain't gonna fall for anybody easily. He won't be insecure if other men happen to flirt with you, because he knows how you operate. Once again I am proud of you & all the ladies who practice celibacy. It is the right way, especially in the eyes of God. If we disobey then we have to suffer the consequences, whatever they may be.❤️
Speaking for myself I found it so much easier to move on being sexually abstinent versus sleeping with that person! Soul ties are the worst!! ♥️🥰
They really are! I'm still struggling to break ties with the last person, and I feel completely frustrated, disappointed and weighed down by it.
Speak on it Brother Tony.
What if the guy keeps asking about a year of being together: “when will we have sex?”. How do we as women answer that?
@@jnt6928 I was stuck / in love with my toxic ex of 5 years sometimes on and off continuing to get hurt . I finally said enough is enough . I prayed on it daily asking God to release all the love I 9had fôr my ex to heal me from all the pain and for me to move on without looking back .... It worked i feel so much better lighter happier free and can move on !!!!
💯
I just stopped talking to a man that I thought was a great catch until I disclosed that I was abstinent until marriage. He said he wasn't willing to do that and I gracefully bowed out. He tried to explain that sexual compatibility was very important to him and I did not waste my energy to explain to him that sexual compatibility is a myth, and not found by engaging in the actual act of sex. It is a mental compatibility that should be sought. It also let me know I was not valuable to him. Total time spent 3 weeks and moving on. Now if sex would have been involved, all the distraction would have dragged this out to 1 year, 2 years and so on of wasted time.
You will be single for a while but I learned a long time ago it's best to be abstinent and filter out the ones who only want to lay and play anyway. Thanks Tony many need to hear this!
Tiffany G 🙏🏼🙇🏼♀️
Sex doesn't get you a relationship, so I don't believe you will be single longer than if you give it up. You just spend the time alone rather than unequally yoked until the right one comes alone ;)
Amen
@Blessed Frombeyond77 I
Thankyou Jesus!
Abstinence will make you reevaluate your life..your worth and what you want and deserve...and bring you to a deeper relationship with Christ...it is an awesome journey
Ladies, your body is the most precious thing god ever made. It's not to be given to every man you meet me. It's not good to take all them spirits or soul ties I should say.
Hallelujah amen you said it all
This is truth at its highest.
GOLDEN.
You don't lose anything by having sex. If you're a whole person to begin with, you're still a whole person after sex. Believing that you lose something when having sex is diseased thinking.
@andreadoherty4259 you loose 🔋 the essence of your establishment....I always felt empty...
As a man who says or used to say “sEx iS mY lOvE lAnguAge” but now here I am hurt from all the lose sexual relations and trauma bonds/soul ties. I’m so glad I found this message!
Amen.
So glad you for your testimony ❤️❤️❤️
💕
Happy for you !!
Thank you for your transparency
Yes Sir These Legs Are Def Closed going on 8 yrs and i still see its not worth it the world is so full of lust n games .. It has had its good n bad days but God has kept me.. Beautiful Word Tony Im waitin on my king..if not im ok with staying this way..
@@tiffanydiggs7625 Thank You I have just excepted that it is what it is and i watch what i entertain it makes you stronger!!!!
@@tiffanydiggs7625 I understand and its nothing wrong with having someone and still having a peaceful relationship… that's a plus
@Red Sunshine oh i understand i was dating a wonderful guy til he claimed to also had been abstinent he left me hanging because i wouldn't let him test the package out ..smh like really we in our 40s grow up. So i get it we taking a chances. You got this ..Red Sunshine
@Red Sunshine gurl you better say that.. And that is one reason why i pulled back love on yourself its the best love that you can get and from God until he places that right one before you.. I raised 2 kids that are now grown got me a lil dog and doing me lolol God Bless
@Red SunshineYes indeed😂💪☀
I am 42 years old and I have been attempting to be abstinent for the past year. It is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire life because I did not realize how damaging it was all about it. Now that I'm back dating again and I let men know that there is no sex on the table it is so easy for me to clearly walk away from them when the red flags come up. I did not form any emotional or physical attachment to them and I can truly see them clearly for who they are. And now it shows them that I have a level of respect for myself that they are not willing to deal with yes it's a little late in the game to be doing it but better late than never
Amen. I’ve been celibate now going on 5 years. BEST decision I’ve ever made. My discernment is at its highest peek. Trust me when I say it’s worth it. Love and honor your body and KNOW your worth.
BE BLESSED ❤️
8 years we should start a club
“When you take it and do it Gods way failure is not an option!” 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
1st marriage no premarital sex but his sexual struggles including assault destroyed our marriage
29 and a virgin, keeping it that way until marriage...either way I’ll be fine with or without marriage
That’s a BLESSING
@Euphora eup im now 30 LOL, but may the Lord continue to keep us
@@Gracieevxi I focus on other things, and put that energy into exercise and other activities also I'm part of a bible study and have support from the ladies there. I'm not one of those innocent virgins and I'm not proud of some of the things I've done but I'm moving forward and also I do NOT put myself in situations to fall (NO men are allowed in my home alone with me, unless they are family) thats another key.
@Euphora eup Yea I chose this too because I see it like well being single is better than marrying wrong
Great job 👍
I've been celibate almost 2 1/2 years. It's too many STDS/ venereal diseases out here & too many disingenuous people playing games
Well done you've done well. I only managed to do it for 6-months in the past.
❤❤❤❤ YES YES YES!!!!
Tony got that calm soothing voice, just makes you feel relaxed lol...I could listen to him for hours.
LizzyLewis very true. Speaking the truth!
@Red Sunshine you got all that through that comment.
LizzyLewis Same here & hes not annoying 😂😂. You know how some RUclipsrs can be lol
I DO listen to him for hours! And hours and hours and hours! SO good!
Celibate 5 years and counting. I have learned that my thinking is so much clearer. My mind isn't in a fog due to premarital sex. It's easier to walk away from the foolishness. It hasn't been easy BUT God! I have to pray constantly.
Very powerful message,ladies its not too late to give yourself a second chance by closing your legs,by doing so you will attract a good man who will love you and help you break all the previous soul. ties.
So the ties CAN be broken. You never hear that.
@@cuttinup97 sure! "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me". Philippians 4:13. And Look up Terri Savelle Foy- Breaking Soul Ties.
@@billion86 thanks I will!
So true. Mind stimulating conversations are so much more fulfilling than just sexual relationships and takes the relationship to a whole different level 💯
Thank you so much for sharing Maca,so many people would luv to know what you just revealed. Very vital piece of information.😊
This...THIS!!! 😌 He's right about just spending quality time with a woman, and INVESTING in her. That's the key, because that shows you really care - that's love in ACTION.
I feel men spend time with women who open their legs unmarried etc..they ll live with you..they ll play house for the 3 minutes TG mentions..think about it..my legs and home are closed until marriage..men dont fight to spend time with me..
When you notice someone does something toxic the first time, don't wait for the second time before you address it or cut them off.
Many survivors are used to the "wait and see" tactic which only leaves them vulnerable to a second attack. As your boundaries get stronger, the wait time gets shorter. You never have justify your intuition.
Amen! That's a tough one, but the more we love ourselves the more trust we have in our intuition.
TEACH Sis! "You never have to justify your intuition." Amen.
This message is for me because I decided to be celibate and I am 21 years old by starting my journey with Jesus this is month 2 for me. I will fight the good fight of faith in Jesus name and wait until he sends me my husband who will love me for the person I truly am and let me be the wife for him as well. 🙏🏼
Yes sis 🙏 mostly certainly keep yourself pure and dignified 🙌
I wish you sucess.stay strong,fight tooth and nail to maintain your dignity.
How’s your journey going?
jeez, this man really loves his wife. Are there even any men like this out there? i really have never been to this level....no where CLOSE!! I'll see how that goes..
Yes there are men out here that live & faithful to they wife
Oh yes, many great men like this. I'm blessed to know and be related to them. I ain't accepting anything less. They ouchea. It's their default mode.
A man that loves God
There has been trials that he has endured in the past as well as a lot of growth and development through Christ for Tony to be the man that he is today (previous discussion about his life). So it is possible!
Yep they're outchea!!
When you have been through enough people who have broken your heart, it should wake you up to see that you need to heal and change how you operate and function. We all know the definition of insanity. People are evil, unempathetic, wicked, selfish, abusive, and will do whatever they can to tear you down and destroy you.
You have to protect yourself and stay celibate until you meet someone who is consistently showing you that they care about you, love you, and will wait until marriage to have sex with you. Respect yourself! This is what I learned to do.
'Making love is through communication,not through intercource'...Thankss for the video....
To all the men questioning if Tony is telling the truth about women getting turned on just by men going shopping and having long conversations with them... he is absolutely telling the truth.
I actually commented on another RUclipsr's video a few weeks ago with a very similar statement regarding increasing women's libido. Now when you're young and your hormones are raging it seems like the physical stuff is all that's needed. While, yes that might feel nice in the moment, mentally as a woman if I feel disconnected from the man I'm with it's like there's an invisible wall there. The physical need might get met, but mentally and emotionally I am 1,000 miles away, so it's empty.
Definitely work on that deeper connection with your partner. It will do wonders.
💯💯 So very true!!
I'm abstinent for more than a year and doing the no PMO challenge.
It's so peaceful and so much easier to move on from things that weren't meant to be.
Sex without love isn't worth it anyway, and all these clowns don't really love.
Daya's Corner what is PMO challenge?
You ain’t never lied! It’s SOOOOO much easier to dump the weight when you haven’t been intimate!
Yesssss so true
Yess please what's the PMO challenge?
Say it again!!! Real talk...
i'm so excited to meet my man who will go to the mall, marshalls, tj maxx, target & whole foods with me and still love me and enjoy spending every second with me lol
I dedicated my hips, lips, thighs & eyes, my history and all the mystery to me to the my Lord. I feel pure, valuable and loved more than I can ever explain or comprehend. My sistas the Lord will wash u and keep u as long as u desire to be kept. Keep pressing and making the right choices. Stay in your word and keep Bro Tony in prayer as he continues to give us the Truth. The Whole Truth. Selah✌
Me too. All of me belongs to God
For real real this time.
I’ve been abstinent for 11 months now and because of this, I have realized the true meaning of stepping in and walking in my power. The woman I was before cannot step to the woman I am now.
I am so glad I am free. I have been abstained for almost 2 years now and it's just freedom!! I am so grateful to God!!. As a medical person I see so much people with incurable disease its unreal!! You all better listen!!
Yes and HPV is causing more cancer in the throat, vagina, and rectum than anything!
I can honestly say I messed up my life going down the wrong path but I’m here now making things right.
Shawn J 🙏🏼
It’s never too late. You got this 🤗
I've experienced sex before marriage. And now I know why God's law makes the most sense. I'll be abstinent until marriage or for the rest of my life. and I'm perfectly fine with that.
your mother's favorite. YESSS!!! The older I get the more I realize why the Bible says to wait .
Understanding God's original plan for sex and the consequences for disobedience has been an eye-opener.
I agree 4yrs strong and counting
Tony bringing me to tears. Its tears of joy because my late fiancee was truly my best friend. He has passed away.
Awww I’m so sorry for your loss beloved 🥺💕 God will ease the pain in your heart and send you another one of his best soldiers to care for you in this life 🙏🏾
Very sorry for your loss 🙏🏽
@@LIVH_Olivia Thank you so much. He was an amazing guy.
My my, I pray that God heals you from this hurt.
May God heal your heart.
"Drunk in LUST😬" Tell em Gaskins!👌
Abstinence definitely amplifies self-control on an entire different level. For over 3 years I remained independently and spiritually centered in order to reframe from intimacy. Throughout this journey I have learned so much more about myself, men, what’s tolerable for me as a woman in relationships, in addition to manifesting value when it comes to courtship. Love is the action that I choose. ❤😌😇
As a sapiosexual, this video resonated with me deeply. I value mental stimulation/connection over everything, but I never experienced a relationship on that level. Tony, you and your wife are so blessed to have that type of love, and thanks for taking the time through your videos to help us create the right path to get that same love as well! 🖤
Tenesha Jackson yes, all of this ♥️
I have never heard this level of maturity about sex from a man.
I am touched and impressed by every word.
Thank you so much
He he doing a good job.
I have a natural instinct when comes with people's intentions. I can see through them! 🤔
Too bad I've ignored my instincts many times and got hurt..
ElatedVibe your not alone.
Be Blessed, Tony. Thank you.😇
We all certainly have 😞
Same!
Same!
Communication and quality time is the best foreplay in a relationship. I tried to explain that to my ex husband but he never got it.
When you do it God's way failure is not an option. Amen
Im happy single and abstinent waiting until marriage with the grace of God helping me loving me and giving me strength every day. Im proud of myself i have made alot of positive changes in my life focusing on spending more time with God and myself. Thank you God for everything you done and doing in my life i need you. Soulties are real. One day God will bless me with the husband he ordain for me we both will be ready deep in love. I have learned and grown alot from watching your videos wow Tony this a great deep message so inspiring you always keeping it real 💯 💯thank you.
LMAO when Tony son came in. You didn’t nap did you??? You close your eyes??? I prayed for you but you’re not taking a nap, god said you need to take a nap😂😂😭😭
😂😂
😫🤣🤣🤣
😂🤣😂🤣😂 il be that parent.
Harriet Aquino 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
Be blessed. 🤞🏾 I’ve learned so much from your videos Tony. I’ve done it my way and it has caused me so much pain. Thank you God for being a redeemer. Thank you Tony for helping me.
“God said you need to take a nap “😂😂😂
Okay lol that was great
😂😂
Ericka The stylist 😩😂 right
😂😂
10 years of abstinence for me! Very empowering. Working on myself and building myself.
This video made all the sense in the world...It was clear and concise. And tastefully comical. Continue to let God direct you. Be blessed.
Valerie Floyd yes!!!
Going on 35 in may, no kids own place decent gig. I've made mistakes but I'm still the only person I have to look out for. I'm waiting for my man. Went a year here and there without it. Last time was in October with an ex lol but im good. Thank you Mr. Gaskins I'm chillin lol, waiting on my man 🙏🙏🙏
Massagebyamaja LLC OMG this sounds like me to a t. *sigh* patience comes to those who wait
💯💯
@@sugarmcdoodles8462 Girl I am waiting and almost ready. Still tryna level up lol
@@amaj_lex 🙏🙏🙏
I've been celibate for 9 years now. And, after some much needed healing on my part, I'm now dating again with the intention of remaining celibate until I get married.
Be very careful because all it takes is for one very attractive guy and the right words to lead you astray so be careful no indoor dates
He said you ain’t got to walk bow legged 🤣🤣
His female voice impersonation takes me out every time! I know some women out here giving him a hard time and he gave us the playbook, smh!
He's right... The emotional connection is dope... I'm 42.. I've had that ONE TIME. . And WHOA... lol. The other stuff is Performance.. based on that bs they be singing about.. When a man makes love to your mind and he is there there... The sexual response is SERIOUS.... LOL. WHOO JESUS
You're Absolutely Right. It's a different perspective🙌🏾
I agree, i have been in terrible in 5 bad relationships and of course my intuition will always tell me leave them but never listened. In july 2019 i met the one but we were just friends and i didnt like him but when we continued to talk for hours almost everyday he finally asked me out and in november 2019 we were finally together. How i know he is the one, we understabd each other, we are each other best friends, there is not a day we dont go without talking or texting each other, he does things for me without even me asking, he bought me closer to God and for the first time in my life i feel stable. Of course i told him i am keeping my legs closed until he marries me and he was like i figure out just by the way you talk to me. He even met with my parents without me asking him and he is ready to put that ring on my finger but my parentd were like she gotta finish her university degree next year and then you can yall marry. Ladied know your worth and take off the sex on the table and be best friends first.
gerlicia Massamba Amen💙🙏🏼🙇🏼♀️
I'm so excited about this video! I have been abstinent for a minute now due to a toxic relationship and bad breakup. That relationship damaged me internally and it only took an act of God to bring where I am now, however, because of that relationship it matured me as a women and I became spiritually awakened. As of now, I'm TERRIFIED to be intimate with a man that is not my husband. I'm currently 28 and have no children so I can not imagine bringing a child into the world out of wedlock. I know that God will honor my prayers for a husband so I will continue to wait for him. Thank you so much, Tony, for your wisdom.
LaFenice Forbes God bless you as well ✨✨
👏🏾👏🏾That's So Good, Yes Keep Going My Sister. You Are Definitely Not In That Boat Alone🙏🏾
EbonyJ thank you darling, it feels good not to be alone ✨✨💞
WE are going through the same experience sis. Bad breakup and can’t even imagine myself laying down with a man that is no husband. We also the same age 💓 I’ll pray for you
LaFenice Forbes I also have a sense of joy and wholeness never experienced before. God bless you
Speaking truth!
This too real. They not ready lol. Making love to the mind 💪🏾
Abstinence is hard but the best thing to do. You have more clarity.
My brother, you are one of the coolest dudes I've seen on the internet lately. Keep up the good work. I thank God for men like you.
Confirmation, Confirmation, Confirmation!!!! Be Blessed!!!
I’m screaming at the dialogue with his son 😭😭😭
I’ve been abstaining since 2019. A guy approached me for conversation and we exchanged numbers. 90 days of conversation with no sex still ended with him still wanting his freedom. I’m still trying to recover from a broken heart just from 2,3,4 even 6 hour conversations with this man .
The way I look forward to these videos every day!!
The feeling is mutual. I started watching the you tube videos late December 2019 my thinking and actions have changed so drastically. I feel empowered by all the wisdom Tony has emparted into me. All the way from Johannesburg South Africa
I really hope I find true love one day 😭
I was going good for 3 year and messed up 🤦🏾..... I felt so powerful now I gotta regain the strength again smh
U just fell off the bike, just dust yourself off get back on and keep it moving we fall but we get back up again.✝️🙏🙂
Thanks ❤
@@yow2363 ❤
I was abstinence for 6 years and messed up last night. We've been friends for 20 years, dating for 4 months. I'm feeling disappointed because I really wanted to be married first.
Don't be so hard on yourself you did very well the longest I have gone absent is 6-months but that was without even trying to go abstinent.
That is absolutely amazing 3 years well done I wish I could do it for that long
I was widowed young and raised 2 sons on my own. 20 years celibate, and most of the time at peace with it. I attribute that peace to a gift from God, who helped me through it. Now my nest is empty and I’m feeling the vacancy. I had begun to assume this vacancy was for sex. That my voluntary celibacy was a curse, not a blessing. In my heart I know that is wrong. Im learning, maybe it’s not. More time for time with god within me. If and when God delivers me a soulmate I pledge to be ready. I’ve waited this long. I can wait some more. Thank you for this perspective.
Your revelation is going to come when you start doing it the right way. I receive that! Be blessed & Thank You!
Listening to this now. I realize I kept myself in an unhealthy relationship where the guy never fully respected me, lied constantly, cheated, never wanted to go out, never kept his promises, didn’t have a job or car, and emotionally manipulated me. All because the sex was good. We both liked each other’s personalities too but he was just a grown boy thats still immature and I was just a lil girl that didn’t know my self worth. And looking back I realize it was definitely not worth all the hurt and pain he ended up causing me. Part of it was because I was prolly insecure and felt validation through sex, but I’m now on my journey towards self love and respect and validating my own self.
I have to say it, Tony you you are such a good man, awesome father, husband and coach, we appreciate you and the time you take out to share your knowledge, wisdom and advise with us.. and at your age, that is a gift and blessing..Thank you😊
Be blessed
..... .., listening to you makes me want to cry, now I know better
My soul has been cleansed for some time now but Jesus be a fence because the struggle 😩 keep me in line TG keep me in line lol Be blessed 💫
I had to watch this again to stay strong.
Yessss that’s my love language acts of service.
Mine too
Im so glad for salvation, you can learn this if you have a relationship with the Lord. The Lord along with the Word of God taught me my worth, taught me about Love, and taught me that giving in to my desires or lust is not going to give me what I truly desire in my heart. It's been 3 yrs waiting. I almost came close to giving in, but I could not do it. My desire to keep my word to myself and wanting God to bless me is more important.
This message was definitely what I needed to hear! I honestly prefer intimacy through other ways than just sex. This video gives me hope that the relationship I desire is possible with the right one. Be blessed💚
Tell em Rev. You going have to “Make some changes’ .You keep doing same things expecting different results.
So so soooo true. ..when u take away one sense, the rest r intensified/magnified!!!" Oh lort
In the past I did it my way…. Now I am doing it God’s way! By any means necessary; it’s going to be the right way or no way! I don’t care what others think; all that matters is that I am being consistent, and obedient to the promise I made to God. Hopefully one day I will be blessed in a meaningful relationship that’s ordain by God!
Be blessed! It's the icing not the entire cake.!!!
All of this is so true, I’ve been saving myself for marriage but temptations have been so hard earlier in my twenties, I have taken part in this lust but not the extent of intercourse, but now I understand that I started out on this journey great, had the right values but out of insecurity I thought I had to conform, to fit in. I felt ashamed for being different, guys would tell me I’ll be single forever because I’m so picky and I take things too serious. But now I understand that I was made to be a gem and the world tried deteriorate my self worth, lying to me that I will be more worthy if I did lose my virginity. Now this does not matter to me, I am proud of it and I am so excited for the man God has for me, I am not even going to kiss anyone unless I get the status of a girlfriend. Tony be blessed, God brought your wisdom to me out of mercy for me and it was after a long time of me trying to do it my way to figure it out and leave God In everything else in my life except this part because I thought God don’t care who I marry. But now I see that He does and I am not going to worry anymore but instead to what is in my power to meet new people and make sure I choose the right ones to stay in my life. Thank you Tony. May God reimburse you for all the time spent giving out this knowledge for free. That is what I call a true servant of God.
Be blessed.... love this!!!! I'm definitely going to do things a different way. I've done things my way and in the end, wound up heartbroken, bruised and damaged. He hit it on the nail when he said your biggest sexual organ is the mind 💯💯💯
This was a deep conversation. This video could be life changing to anybody. This one video covers a lot of important power points in a real relationship.
Finna walk this whole thang out !! I'm *HEAR* for this !! ✍🏽✍🏽 God Bless You Tony !! 🙏🏽✝️
Tell it Tony..quality time
I haven't exchanged juices in years however, I have resting witch face and I have a funky attitude. I know this about myself and God is working on me.
Be Blessed 🙏🏾
🤣🤣
Wow
This message is spiritual self denial is powerful put u on a whole nother level spiritually God bless u brother
Talk Tony brother.... it's POWER in waiting. 🙌🙏
As a RN I am so glad that you have shared that everyone doesn't realize that you don't have to be old to have a tradgey in your life that can change your sex life for the remainder of your life 🙏🙏
Omg I wasn't going to respond but You told the truth about the time spending with each other creates real love.I'm like your wife I use to love the Target ,Home goods,Red box days with my Ex .I was ready like freddy.😂😂😂😂😂😂
Wonderful message. I laughed so hard when u say keep your legs closed. My Dad use to say that to us. I'm 67 been married for 17 years all is well.
This makes perfect sense. Knowledge is powerful and I’m on a mission to gain all of the knowledge I can.
Be Blessed in 2023❤❤❤❤
That’s something I’ve never experienced with anyone BUT I’m trusting and believing God for it. Thanks for the knowledge.
Wow!! I am a new Tribe member and have been listening to your vids for 2 months, every day non-stop and this is the BEST vid to date. Crazy thing, I've said that about every vid so far. I am now beginning to save all of them.
Another great great video Tony Gaskins,, listening to you is like listening to my smartest nephew,, someone that you know respect and relate too, I'm the same age as your mother. I was married for 21 years and we were together for 24 years. When I go back into the dating field I will be well prepared, thanks to you. Your parents did a wonderful job,,, I'm planning on taking your class on February 22, 2020. Thank you, S
Thank you so much!! Hope to see you there on the 22nd.
People keep talking about what to bring to the table but don't mention what to take off! Love it.
This is an amazing video. I say this with respect we need more men like this that have been awaken to Live for God. The part about the emotional connection first and then women will want to connect sexually automatically in a marriage setting is on point 🙌🙌🙌
Absolutely correct; even those who can stimulate your mind can play games too. You really have to "know" God. He will lead you. You can't judge what a man say- true, but God said to be faithful to him. When a man is ready there will be no games! Under 25 they are learning themselves. In fact, we all are. This past year I have learned not to put labels on seasons, as this is who you are. We change upon knowledge and understanding. Actions speaks louder than words. Talking your worth will keep them or lose them.
@@dollyjohnson5848 the reason I said that is because in church you meet men who are very prolific and charismatic yet the flesh isnt under that anointing. They will tell you upfront what they want as "grown" men, like it's necessary. Not all if them but some. It's difficult for us all but keep showing me shallowness and selflessness I leave!! It's not worth it.
Be blessed! You definitely have a gift of explaining things!