Can’t thank you enough! I watched this with my son after trying, again, to discuss this with him. I finally said, “I don’t know what to do. Let’s look up some advice.” He stopped me half way through this video and suggested we try it, right away! I’m floored! It’s WORKING! Thank you so much!
This video was extremely helpful for me and my son. It literally did work the first night. My son had been scared at night for almost 2 months with every night being very challenging. If you put in the work by discussing the process during the day, you won’t be disappointed. Thanks for a the help!
This worked like a charm!!! Thank you so much 🎉 My daughter is 9 years old and has never been able to sleep on her until now. We have had 3 nights in row 🙏🙏
I grew up with this fear and it was so bad that I couldn’t be alone (eg I wouldn’t sleep alone or even walk up the stairs by myself) and idk why I was so scared but this resulted in mental breakdowns because I was so scared and I would never wish this upon any child
i've never really told my parents but i was convinced there we're demons in my room when i was maybe 4 years old and every night i remember them dragging me under the bed and killing me. I could see them while i was awake and i once told them ''you aren't real'' but ofc it replied ''yes i am'', i'd hide under my blanket frozen in fear. i often slept on the bathroom floor with the lights on cause i was terrified of my bedroom. for me the fear didn't go down with time.
It's interesting that you didn't eventually say to yourself, "Well, these demons are quite slow. They had all night and nothing. Same as last night and the night before. If they were going to do something they would've done it by now."
@@PsychologyWorksOfficial I see flaws in my every thought nothing is 100%. It was not really the demons that I was afraid of or being killed that was just a manifestation of the extreme anxiety I felt most of the time...once the demons went away they we're just replaced by many other things. Also if it was so simple that irrational anxiety could just go away with thinking and 4 years old should be able to figure it out on their own it wouldn't exist would it.
I'm in my late 40s, and I still can't sleep alone and without a night light, lol. I've tred every thing to break myself of the fear of the dark and sleeping alone. My kids, on the other hand, like it pitch black and quiet in their rooms. We did cosleep when they were little, but they grew out of it when they got older.
It’s hard to give specific advice in a short texting situation, but in general, 2-year-olds are learning through experience. If a child has the experience of some type of pleasure (praise, smiles, M&M, etc.) paired with tolerating anxiety for short periods (start with 10 seconds if you have to, and gradually increase the time span), then that child is more willing to tolerate the distress, and the distress also begins to lessen over time.
I would encourage you to look up Timed Crying Technique. Incredibly similar concept ❤️ The differences would be not having the chart (fear level), and I would avoid bribes 🙏 Please sleep train now, as I didn't. It was a disservice to my children. I felt I was doing the right thing.. ultimately, it does not benefit them in the long run (co sleeping, bribes, accommodations). You CAN DO THIS 🎉🎉🎉
I have no doubt this will work and look forward to trying it. Any advice for someone whose child also lives with the other parent at a different home and the parent at that home allows the child to sleep with them? That seems to be the biggest obstacle in our trying to get the child to sleep alone at our home.
That could be a problem, but it doesn't have to be. Research has shown that kids are able to adapt to two sets of rules. There's something called a discriminating stimulus, e.g., a kid learns not to ask for ice-cream when dad is in the room because it's not going to happen. Same thing here. The child will get used to the idea of "At this house I sleep with so-and-so, and at this house I sleep in my own bed." Time will tell.
Send them the video. And if they don’t want the change, send them the audio book “codependent no more” and if they are a narcissist, like my coparent, employ the science above (discrimination stimulus) and the practice from the video. Goodluck!
Most have said to leave out the music on future videos, haha. I think the trend of having the music has changed over time. The process is a little different for a 2-year-old but similar. The child needs to learn that there is no option. The parent also has to learn to tolerate an upset child (temporarily). Treat it the same way as you would if the child wanted to drink a cup of bleach or go play in traffic. You would prevent the child from doing so, no matter how much they cried and complained. The child is taken to their bed, the child cries or comes out of room, the parent takes the child back to the bed, repeat over and over. Use comforting words and a soft voice but maintain the behavior or taking the child back to their bed. After a handful of times, the child sees that 1.) It is fruitless to try to sleep anywhere but their bed and 2.) That everything is fine and safe. It's not a fun process, but it is so temporary and always works if you stick with it.
We did it at bedtime and it worked great. He woke up at 12:30 and we’ve been going back and forth to his room for almost 3 hours now. He was crying, then he was calm, now he’s crying again.
Commenting at 02:00 while I go back and forth with my almost 4 year old. Like you, everything is ok when going to sleep, but around midnight that’s all changes 😅
I'm going through this with a woman now shit annoying and I tell her talk to her child have her child sleep in her own bed it be late at night and all the conversation is out the window I just get up leave@@raewynpitschlitz9968
It worked amazingly even with my 2,5 year old daughter! 🎉 I replaced the numbers with emotion expressing faces so that she can choose her level of fear easily. She was asleep within 20 minutes on the first night and slept the whole night through, which didn’t happen for a month now. She was also really proud of herself in the morning 😊 It was a great experience and learning opportunity, thank you! (We also talked about what seems scary for her and either removed the item from her room, or examined it so that she knew they are just ordinary things, nothing scary).
I have returned to thank you! For 8 years my daughter has never slept in her own bed initially due to avid reflux. She is autistic and has anxiety but is very familiar with the amygdala because we have the book "Hey warrior". Previously we would sit in the doorway waiting for her to sleep which always took over an hour and then in the night she would come in to our bed to sleep. If we returned her she would come back so we stopped. For the past two nights we have adopted this approach and she has fallen asleep within the 45 minutes both times. She came in to our bed but we returned her and she stayed in her's. Hoping we have finally resolved this issue!
My son has been in his own room for a year but I am usually trying to help him fall asleep at night, hence, created the issue of him not being able to be alone in his room. He refuses to be alone in his room at night. Mostly in the dark (with a night light on). I will try this and see how he does! Being in there rubbing his back for an hour isn’t ideal and I want him to be able to feel safe in his room going to sleep.
My child is scared to sleep on own so I ll try this and see if it works. She’s 8 and we’ve had an inconsistent pattern sleeping in her own bed because of dad being away for weeks at a time and now he’s not away , we’ve got to get her to stay in her bed alone again. I hope this works!
@@Nikagamer5558 I agree. However, many of these children are scared (including mine), that have not seen inappropriate content/movies/videos. If Mom or Dad has always been there to make you feel safe... Of course you're going to be scared to face your fear, of being alone 🥺
I told my 16 year old sis to do this to me because she yesterday yelled at me for not sleeping 8n my own room so yeah I told her to do this and she said no she said I should sleep by myself
The process is a little different for a 2-year-old but similar. The child needs to learn that there is no option. The parent also has to learn to tolerate an upset child (temporarily). Treat it the same way as you would if the child wanted to drink a cup of bleach or go play in traffic. You would prevent the child from doing so, no matter how much they cried and complained. The child is taken to their bed, the child cries or comes out of room, the parent takes the child back to the bed, repeat over and over. Use comforting words and a soft voice but maintain the behavior or taking the child back to their bed. After a handful of times, the child sees that 1.) It is fruitless to try to sleep anywhere but their bed and 2.) That everything is fine and safe. It's not a fun process, but it is so temporary and always works if you stick with it.
Im going to to try this to help my daughter fall asleep on her own. Right now i have to sit next to her until she falls asleep. I have my 3rd baby on the way and I likely won't have time for this when the baby is born.It would be so nice to just tuck her in and say goodnight.
What about if the kid also gets up scared at 2AM? Do you do the every 5 minute check in fear measurement charting again in the middle of the night? My 7yo son does this at bedtime and then again in the middle of the night.
Yes. Also, if the child is willing to stay in bed till morning for a reward (favorite treat at breakfast) in the morning. Discuss it with lots of encouragement before bed.
I absolutely love this Exercise 💞 Do you ahve advice on how to push through, when the child is unwilling to stay in the bed/room? Aside from remaining consistent and returning them to the room; any advice? 🥺 I'm so exhausted. My girls are 4 and 5, and it's a nightmare. Ironically, everyone just needs to SLEEP 💤
Your thoughts will affect your behavior. You have to keep thinking. "I'm bigger, smarter, stronger, etc. than this little person. I can endure more than them. I'm more stubborn, etc." Remind yourself, "This is temporary. I'll have to suffer now for the long-term benefit of changing these little kids' behavior. I'm sending them the message that there's no option." They'll get it. If they pull on your heart strings, you have to remind yourself. "They're fine. There's no torture happening here. My expectations are normal." Good luck.
@@PsychologyWorksOfficial Wow, thank you 🙏 I appreciate your time, and your knowledge. I agree; making those changes now and putting in the work, will only benefit them in the long-term. I followed through with your exercise last night. I did do a mock run during the day, to set expectations. I believe the 5 year old would have been successful, if the 4 year old wasn't as disruptive. With that being said, you're absolutely right. It's very easy to make excuses, and to continue negative thinking (it feeling impossible). Thank you for your insight, and encouragement ❤️ Truly!
Hmmm… theoretically this should work, but what if like my kid, even practicing this technique during the day is a huge drama. Her fear of ghosts right now is so intense she will not only not sleep alone, she will also not go to the bathroom alone or be alone in another part of the house even if she can see me. She is 7.
Im struggling so bad with my 2 year old. He has ALWAYS slept on his own, with door closed, no soothing from mom. As of lately he screams as soon as he sees me turn my back to walk out the room, doesnt settle on his own, will sleep if I pat his back for about 10 minutes but will wake an hour or so later and the process repeats ALL NIGHT. This happened when I transitioned him to his toddler bed but its been almost a year now since then. I let him cry it out the first time around or I would walk in without saying a word and put him back in bed over and over. All he wants to do now and insisting on sleeping with me! Im not creating a habit of this but to let him cry it out now is going to warrant noise complaints from my neighbors. The screaming and pounding on the door (open or closed) and jumping up and down at all hours is a lot. Im just at a loss of what to do. Any help?
Children and babies sleep are the most important things in their early life. it will make sure they are growing properly, and it formed their mental health. Thankyou for the informations!
Children will learn from experience. There are well-developed step-by-step processes out there for getting two-year-olds to sleep alone without crying. They tend to entail leaving the child in a crib, crying, and then coming in the room at regular intervals that are lengthened over time. Eventually the child learns from experience that nothing bad happens, and they begin to go to sleep alone without being upset. Look for a tried and true plan that you can follow.
No i dont think that will work since my door is open bcuz my dad is sleeping on living room and my house is open and I expect 70% that aswang will come or i am scared of robbers too btw I'm 11 yrs old im gonna leave lights on so I can sleep faster and also I'm gonna hide in maximum level blanket 3 sheets
Typically the issue is with us is when the child wakes up again at 3am, and is scared, this check in part Im not sure would work in this scenario. How would you handle that?
It depends on the child's age, the extent of her anxiety, and other personality factors, intellect, maturity, etc. In an ideal situation, the system would work the same. Practice with a role play during the day, with the child pretending to wake up and getting the parent to go through the strategy. Then, the next time it happens in real life, practice the strategy. After awhile, change the plan to having the child stay in their bed and jot down their level fear level on an index card every several minutes. And, providing a reward the next morning may help motivate the child to comply as well.
Don't let your children watch ghost movies or anything that has monsters or anything like that. When I was young my narcissist parents would watch scary movies and tell us about ghost and it scared me for life. I'm not going to allow my daughter to watch scary movies until she is old enough to understand that it's fake maybe when she is 16.
it is true. get away as possible from watching horror movies and the likes that make children have nightmares. because horror movies will hunt their dreams and litterally destroys their life. sleep is the most important part of children's life for them to have healthy mental to grow up.
Hi, I am a kid and I'm struggling to sleep in my room alone, I already have slept in my room before but one day, I just kept on crying and like you said, fear goes away within minutes. But whenever I try to sleep in my room now, I don't stop crying! I cry for like, 3 hours and sleep at 4:00 AM and wake up at like 6:00 AM. Sometimes whenever I try thinking about my room I get sad. Please help me sleep in my room.
Okay, but my 2yo still doesn't even fully understand what the word "scared" means. I really doubt she's scared. It's more like she wants to have fun and play OR she wants to just cuddle with mommy and daddy.
It could be that. If it is, not getting what you want causes a type of discomfort, whether you can give the feeling a name or not. If you're right about your 2yo, and you try this procedure, it would work the same; just replace "scared" with "displeased" or "uncomfortable." If you choose to allow the child to sleep where she wants, there's no harm to the child in that either.
My Stepson is 10 years old. He has been sleeping with Mom since a baby... they are now divorced and, he can't accept the idea the Dad is no longer an available to sleep with him. Thoughts?
@@peterhalliday6492 That's just where she chooses to sleep. I think she doesn't want to wake my wife and I up and have her go back to her own room. Lately, when I wake up, she's laying right next to me in bed now.
So my child is two and she doesn't speak very much yet. How can I address her fear if she doesn't understand what I'm saying and can't count on a scale of one to ten?
We set up mostly everything for my 6 year old son, even with sister sleep next to him, with night light,music, he will still cry if I am not in the room. I already lost patience with him. I have not sleep for the whole week because of him.
But what if their 7 years old! My daughter has been doing this for years my 5 year old sleeps just fine but she on the other hand comes to my room crying non stop.
So what do I do when none of the nonsense in this or any other article works? He is almost seven, I haven’t slept well in 7 years and I’m done with this. We don’t these tactics, moved his room, bought all manner of nightlights and bedding he wants and tried bribes and nothing works. I can’t lock him in his room, but I need to sleep.
but.. What do you do with a child who has always slept in his own bed, sleep trained and then suddenly becomes afraid of being alone in his room. With my 3 year old, I zip him up in his tog, pray, kisses, put him down, say goodnight and walk out. Boom!!! suddenly one night, he heard a neighbors house alarm going off and started crying. Ever since, he wants me to lie with him. Some nights he falls asleep super fast and I get up and carry on with life. But some nights it takes him ages to fall asleep. I'm leaving his room at 9:30pm. Sure, now I have created a habit.. but, even when he wakes during the night, he cries for me and is super mad that I left his room. I have tried to reassure him that mommy and daddy are close by, he has nothing to fear.. but he wont have any of it. Just wants me to sleep next to him. I really dont mind 10min.. but 1 hour 30 is driving me nuts. I dont get a chance to get anything done in the evenings.. I dont even get time to chat to my husband
That’s exactly our situation. She’s 3. Always slept by herself and one night the Alexa randomly went and now she won’t sleep alone. My husband and I never get time and I dread evenings now. Tried this. Didn’t work. Considering a sleep therapist
@@thehornoftheunicorn it has gotten a bit better. So, I cut out his afternoon nap. I make sure he is bathed by 6pm and had supper by 6:30. Then we do bedtime routine, brush teeth, read and pray. I lay with him till he is out. He would cry for me every night at about 12:30 or 4:30, then I'd have to get back into his bed.. but, the last 5 nights in a row, he hasn't. He told me he's a big boy now.
Omg i’m living the same thing. My almost 2 yr old has been sleep trained since 3 months old but now she doesn’t want to sleep alone in her room. After I put her to sleep and leave, an hour later she will wake up screaming until someone sleeps with her or she ends up in my bed.
I was born in the mid forties, and co sleeping was unheard of! If my brother or I were ill, ie chicken pox, measles, etc., then in the early stages of the disease, we would sleep with my mother. During childhood and adolescence, I was frightened at night, but would not have dreamed of asking to go into my parents' bed. I feel that modern parents are far to soft and easily manipulated.
I'm a modern parent, and I understand what you're saying ❤️ I think it's finding balance. My opinion is that your time of upbringing was harsh, and the upbringings now are too soft. Just need to find a place in the middle ❤️
Great question. I suggest that you watch this video: ruclips.net/video/vmkaLAyj2vE/видео.html The negative behavior would be getting out of bed. The reinforcer for getting out of bed is that they feel a reduction in anxiety. You need to figure out what is something that value even more than a reduction in anxiety. If they get out of bed, they reduce anxiety, and if they stay in bed, they can expect ________. Good Luck. (NOTE: Discussing videos and strategies with Dr. Greenaway on RUclips in no way constitutes a doctor/patient relationship.)
All of this only works if the child is honest about the fear level. I'm willing to bet that the child will continue to claim a high fear level to ensure the attention they want and the allowance to leave their own room.
Im 11 years old and I’m also scared to sleep alone your not alone! My maid sleeps with me during the week days and I had to sleep with my sister during the weekends. It’s probably because my sister is younger than me and she can’t really protect me. Therefore I always can’t sleep during the weekends and I cry when I can’t sleep
And what do you do if it's not fear but years worth of manipulation. 6 years old and she's a master con artist with her mom. Tears and tantrums don't effect me but she knows she will always beat mom with the tears and whining
I drew faces to illustrate the rating for my toddler. Worked like a charm. Now for middle of the night wakings I could use some tips… taking him back over and over has not phased him.
My personal life is irrelevant. I'm explaining the evidence-based procedure that usually works. I didn't make it up or conduct the research studies. I'm just explaining it. Most of the folks commenting on here indicate that it has worked for them.
It worked for my son! He is finally sleeping in his own bed after many years of struggling. Thank you so much!
I wish I could take the credit for coming up with it! Glad to hear it worked.
How old is your kid?
Can’t thank you enough! I watched this with my son after trying, again, to discuss this with him. I finally said, “I don’t know what to do. Let’s look up some advice.” He stopped me half way through this video and suggested we try it, right away! I’m floored! It’s WORKING! Thank you so much!
Fantastic!
Please make a video for 3 year olds- they don’t care about the chart, and the levels yet
This video was extremely helpful for me and my son. It literally did work the first night. My son had been scared at night for almost 2 months with every night being very challenging. If you put in the work by discussing the process during the day, you won’t be disappointed. Thanks for a the help!
I wish I had thought of it first! Spread the word.
This worked like a charm!!! Thank you so much 🎉 My daughter is 9 years old and has never been able to sleep on her until now. We have had 3 nights in row 🙏🙏
Fantastic. Thanks for sharing your success. Spread the word.
Nine years old????
This is giving me some hope. My daughter is 7 almost 8 and is having a hard time with this.
Science is so powerful when explained by an excellent teacher Thank you sooo much!
You're welcome. Sorry for the delayed reply. I'm working on my RUclips social skills, LOL.
I’m trying this with my daughter starting tonight. Thank you so much!
Let us know how it goes.
How did it go?
I grew up with this fear and it was so bad that I couldn’t be alone (eg I wouldn’t sleep alone or even walk up the stairs by myself) and idk why I was so scared but this resulted in mental breakdowns because I was so scared and I would never wish this upon any child
Same. I'm struggling with helping my 3 year old deal with irrational fear now.
I pray you have healed 🙏🏾💕
Same
How is this the first in my feed? Interesting pov but really?
i've never really told my parents but i was convinced there we're demons in my room when i was maybe 4 years old and every night i remember them dragging me under the bed and killing me. I could see them while i was awake and i once told them ''you aren't real'' but ofc it replied ''yes i am'', i'd hide under my blanket frozen in fear. i often slept on the bathroom floor with the lights on cause i was terrified of my bedroom. for me the fear didn't go down with time.
Omg 🥺 I'm so sorry.. truly 💔💔😩
It's interesting that you didn't eventually say to yourself, "Well, these demons are quite slow. They had all night and nothing. Same as last night and the night before. If they were going to do something they would've done it by now."
@@PsychologyWorksOfficial I see flaws in my every thought nothing is 100%. It was not really the demons that I was afraid of or being killed that was just a manifestation of the extreme anxiety I felt most of the time...once the demons went away they we're just replaced by many other things.
Also if it was so simple that irrational anxiety could just go away with thinking and 4 years old should be able to figure it out on their own it wouldn't exist would it.
@@PsychologyWorksOfficial they were 4 years old… 😊
@@hairynose656 wow! sounds like you needed some magnesium!!
I'm in my late 40s, and I still can't sleep alone and without a night light, lol. I've tred every thing to break myself of the fear of the dark and sleeping alone. My kids, on the other hand, like it pitch black and quiet in their rooms. We did cosleep when they were little, but they grew out of it when they got older.
What about the kids who are constantly waking up and running down to our room? Our son does this about every 2 hours all throughout the night 😞
I’d love an answer for this too. That’s my son 🤦🏻♀️
Me too
Same ! At this point I don’t care if they sleep in my bed just to sleep through the night
Lock the door
That's my daughter too 😢
Great info and well delivered
But that choice of background music will give me nightmares !!
I love this idea. How would it work with a young toddler (age 2) who cant understand numbers, charts, or even some of the words you explained.
It’s hard to give specific advice in a short texting situation, but in general, 2-year-olds are learning through experience. If a child has the experience of some type of pleasure (praise, smiles, M&M, etc.) paired with tolerating anxiety for short periods (start with 10 seconds if you have to, and gradually increase the time span), then that child is more willing to tolerate the distress, and the distress also begins to lessen over time.
I would encourage you to look up Timed Crying Technique. Incredibly similar concept ❤️ The differences would be not having the chart (fear level), and I would avoid bribes 🙏 Please sleep train now, as I didn't. It was a disservice to my children. I felt I was doing the right thing.. ultimately, it does not benefit them in the long run (co sleeping, bribes, accommodations). You CAN DO THIS 🎉🎉🎉
Thank you! Going to give this a shot tonight. So far he’s been staying in his room on his own for 5 min :)
I have no doubt this will work and look forward to trying it. Any advice for someone whose child also lives with the other parent at a different home and the parent at that home allows the child to sleep with them? That seems to be the biggest obstacle in our trying to get the child to sleep alone at our home.
That could be a problem, but it doesn't have to be. Research has shown that kids are able to adapt to two sets of rules. There's something called a discriminating stimulus, e.g., a kid learns not to ask for ice-cream when dad is in the room because it's not going to happen. Same thing here. The child will get used to the idea of "At this house I sleep with so-and-so, and at this house I sleep in my own bed." Time will tell.
Send them the video.
And if they don’t want the change, send them the audio book “codependent no more”
and if they are a narcissist, like my coparent, employ the science above (discrimination stimulus) and the practice from the video. Goodluck!
That makes sense. I’ll give that a try once my child understands 😂
I like the background music! Trying to get this to work for my 2 year old…
Most have said to leave out the music on future videos, haha. I think the trend of having the music has changed over time. The process is a little different for a 2-year-old but similar. The child needs to learn that there is no option. The parent also has to learn to tolerate an upset child (temporarily). Treat it the same way as you would if the child wanted to drink a cup of bleach or go play in traffic. You would prevent the child from doing so, no matter how much they cried and complained. The child is taken to their bed, the child cries or comes out of room, the parent takes the child back to the bed, repeat over and over. Use comforting words and a soft voice but maintain the behavior or taking the child back to their bed. After a handful of times, the child sees that 1.) It is fruitless to try to sleep anywhere but their bed and 2.) That everything is fine and safe. It's not a fun process, but it is so temporary and always works if you stick with it.
We did it at bedtime and it worked great. He woke up at 12:30 and we’ve been going back and forth to his room for almost 3 hours now. He was crying, then he was calm, now he’s crying again.
He’s 3, turning 4 next week
Commenting at 02:00 while I go back and forth with my almost 4 year old. Like you, everything is ok when going to sleep, but around midnight that’s all changes 😅
Stay persistent, you are not harming your child
I'm going through this with a woman now shit annoying and I tell her talk to her child have her child sleep in her own bed it be late at night and all the conversation is out the window I just get up leave@@raewynpitschlitz9968
It worked amazingly even with my 2,5 year old daughter! 🎉 I replaced the numbers with emotion expressing faces so that she can choose her level of fear easily. She was asleep within 20 minutes on the first night and slept the whole night through, which didn’t happen for a month now. She was also really proud of herself in the morning 😊 It was a great experience and learning opportunity, thank you!
(We also talked about what seems scary for her and either removed the item from her room, or examined it so that she knew they are just ordinary things, nothing scary).
I have returned to thank you! For 8 years my daughter has never slept in her own bed initially due to avid reflux. She is autistic and has anxiety but is very familiar with the amygdala because we have the book "Hey warrior".
Previously we would sit in the doorway waiting for her to sleep which always took over an hour and then in the night she would come in to our bed to sleep. If we returned her she would come back so we stopped.
For the past two nights we have adopted this approach and she has fallen asleep within the 45 minutes both times. She came in to our bed but we returned her and she stayed in her's. Hoping we have finally resolved this issue!
Thank you for commenting! My ten yo has autism and anxiety and I’m so happy to know this worked for y’all! I’m committed! ❤
Woow this is the best.Thanks so much.
My son has been in his own room for a year but I am usually trying to help him fall asleep at night, hence, created the issue of him not being able to be alone in his room. He refuses to be alone in his room at night. Mostly in the dark (with a night light on). I will try this and see how he does! Being in there rubbing his back for an hour isn’t ideal and I want him to be able to feel safe in his room going to sleep.
My child is scared to sleep on own so I ll try this and see if it works. She’s 8 and we’ve had an inconsistent pattern sleeping in her own bed because of dad being away for weeks at a time and now he’s not away , we’ve got to get her to stay in her bed alone again. I hope this works!
You are not alone, 🙏
Maybe your daughter was watching to Much horror movies
@@Nikagamer5558
No don't let kids watch scary movies it will scar them for life.
@@Nikagamer5558 I agree. However, many of these children are scared (including mine), that have not seen inappropriate content/movies/videos. If Mom or Dad has always been there to make you feel safe... Of course you're going to be scared to face your fear, of being alone 🥺
I’m going to try this ! 🙏🏾
This is such a great advice! Best from anything else I read or saw. Thank you!
I'm so glad. Thanks for letting us know.
I told my 16 year old sis to do this to me because she yesterday yelled at me for not sleeping 8n my own room so yeah I told her to do this and she said no she said I should sleep by myself
Crazy background music I could take in the info for the jazz ???
I know, sorry. I wish I could remove the music.
Great idea, I will try it with my kid, thanks!
What if my kid is 2 and doesn’t understand all this stuff?
The process is a little different for a 2-year-old but similar. The child needs to learn that there is no option. The parent also has to learn to tolerate an upset child (temporarily). Treat it the same way as you would if the child wanted to drink a cup of bleach or go play in traffic. You would prevent the child from doing so, no matter how much they cried and complained. The child is taken to their bed, the child cries or comes out of room, the parent takes the child back to the bed, repeat over and over. Use comforting words and a soft voice but maintain the behavior or taking the child back to their bed. After a handful of times, the child sees that 1.) It is fruitless to try to sleep anywhere but their bed and 2.) That everything is fine and safe. It's not a fun process, but it is so temporary and always works if you stick with it.
I used to feel frightened while sleeping alone,it used to scare me a lot, thankfully overcame it
Im going to to try this to help my daughter fall asleep on her own. Right now i have to sit next to her until she falls asleep. I have my 3rd baby on the way and I likely won't have time for this when the baby is born.It would be so nice to just tuck her in and say goodnight.
What about if the kid also gets up scared at 2AM? Do you do the every 5 minute check in fear measurement charting again in the middle of the night? My 7yo son does this at bedtime and then again in the middle of the night.
Yes. Also, if the child is willing to stay in bed till morning for a reward (favorite treat at breakfast) in the morning. Discuss it with lots of encouragement before bed.
I am a Nanny actually,,my madam baby bump on her bed last night,,then after that almost 2nights she didn't let's us sleep ,,she never stop crying
I absolutely love this Exercise 💞 Do you ahve advice on how to push through, when the child is unwilling to stay in the bed/room? Aside from remaining consistent and returning them to the room; any advice? 🥺 I'm so exhausted. My girls are 4 and 5, and it's a nightmare. Ironically, everyone just needs to SLEEP 💤
Your thoughts will affect your behavior. You have to keep thinking. "I'm bigger, smarter, stronger, etc. than this little person. I can endure more than them. I'm more stubborn, etc." Remind yourself, "This is temporary. I'll have to suffer now for the long-term benefit of changing these little kids' behavior. I'm sending them the message that there's no option." They'll get it. If they pull on your heart strings, you have to remind yourself. "They're fine. There's no torture happening here. My expectations are normal." Good luck.
@@PsychologyWorksOfficial Wow, thank you 🙏 I appreciate your time, and your knowledge. I agree; making those changes now and putting in the work, will only benefit them in the long-term. I followed through with your exercise last night. I did do a mock run during the day, to set expectations. I believe the 5 year old would have been successful, if the 4 year old wasn't as disruptive. With that being said, you're absolutely right. It's very easy to make excuses, and to continue negative thinking (it feeling impossible). Thank you for your insight, and encouragement ❤️ Truly!
Any concerns or suggested alterations for using this method with foster children/children who have been through trauma?
Thanks for help me❤❤❤❤🎉
Hmmm… theoretically this should work, but what if like my kid, even practicing this technique during the day is a huge drama. Her fear of ghosts right now is so intense she will not only not sleep alone, she will also not go to the bathroom alone or be alone in another part of the house even if she can see me. She is 7.
My 6 year old will not be alone either 🥺
Im struggling so bad with my 2 year old. He has ALWAYS slept on his own, with door closed, no soothing from mom. As of lately he screams as soon as he sees me turn my back to walk out the room, doesnt settle on his own, will sleep if I pat his back for about 10 minutes but will wake an hour or so later and the process repeats ALL NIGHT. This happened when I transitioned him to his toddler bed but its been almost a year now since then. I let him cry it out the first time around or I would walk in without saying a word and put him back in bed over and over. All he wants to do now and insisting on sleeping with me! Im not creating a habit of this but to let him cry it out now is going to warrant noise complaints from my neighbors. The screaming and pounding on the door (open or closed) and jumping up and down at all hours is a lot. Im just at a loss of what to do. Any help?
Would you recommend doing this for wake ups throughout the night?
Yes. Pretty much anytime a child or an adult is afraid of something harmless, this type of exposure therapy is the recommended way to go.
Children and babies sleep are the most important things in their early life. it will make sure they are growing properly, and it formed their mental health. Thankyou for the informations!
The music in the backround very loud !!
as a child myself, this almost helped me.... until i think in my corn head for 0.0000001 seconds because the bible says demons are real
This is very helpful besides that my son is 2. He doesn't understand rating fear
Children will learn from experience. There are well-developed step-by-step processes out there for getting two-year-olds to sleep alone without crying. They tend to entail leaving the child in a crib, crying, and then coming in the room at regular intervals that are lengthened over time. Eventually the child learns from experience that nothing bad happens, and they begin to go to sleep alone without being upset. Look for a tried and true plan that you can follow.
No i dont think that will work since my door is open bcuz my dad is sleeping on living room and my house is open and I expect 70% that aswang will come or i am scared of robbers too btw I'm 11 yrs old im gonna leave lights on so I can sleep faster and also I'm gonna hide in maximum level blanket 3 sheets
What about kids who cant talk or reason because they are too young?
Hello my son isn’t scared he gets used to it so how do I not make him used to it
I want to try this with my son, but what if they won’t stay in their room for the five minute intervals?
Try it for 2 min. or 1 min. or 30 seconds to start, then eventually increase the time.
Typically the issue is with us is when the child wakes up again at 3am, and is scared, this check in part Im not sure would work in this scenario. How would you handle that?
It depends on the child's age, the extent of her anxiety, and other personality factors, intellect, maturity, etc. In an ideal situation, the system would work the same. Practice with a role play during the day, with the child pretending to wake up and getting the parent to go through the strategy. Then, the next time it happens in real life, practice the strategy. After awhile, change the plan to having the child stay in their bed and jot down their level fear level on an index card every several minutes. And, providing a reward the next morning may help motivate the child to comply as well.
Don't let your children watch ghost movies or anything that has monsters or anything like that.
When I was young my narcissist parents would watch scary movies and tell us about ghost and it scared me for life.
I'm not going to allow my daughter to watch scary movies until she is old enough to understand that it's fake maybe when she is 16.
it is true. get away as possible from watching horror movies and the likes that make children have nightmares. because horror movies will hunt their dreams and litterally destroys their life. sleep is the most important part of children's life for them to have healthy mental to grow up.
Im assuming this doesnt apply to kids who cant talk yet?
Clearly.
Hi, I am a kid and I'm struggling to sleep in my room alone, I already have slept in my room before but one day, I just kept on crying and like you said, fear goes away within minutes. But whenever I try to sleep in my room now, I don't stop crying! I cry for like, 3 hours and sleep at 4:00 AM and wake up at like 6:00 AM. Sometimes whenever I try thinking about my room I get sad. Please help me sleep in my room.
Clean your room with a vinegar water mix, get rid of trash and clutter. Burn some sage and pray to cleans the air. Get a plant 🌱, lavender oil/sachet.
@@cansukaragoz3884 im not sure on how to get those items?
Try listening to deep sleep meditation on a phone. It really helps an overactive mind slow down
Okay, but my 2yo still doesn't even fully understand what the word "scared" means. I really doubt she's scared. It's more like she wants to have fun and play OR she wants to just cuddle with mommy and daddy.
It could be that. If it is, not getting what you want causes a type of discomfort, whether you can give the feeling a name or not. If you're right about your 2yo, and you try this procedure, it would work the same; just replace "scared" with "displeased" or "uncomfortable." If you choose to allow the child to sleep where she wants, there's no harm to the child in that either.
My Stepson is 10 years old. He has been sleeping with Mom since a baby... they are now divorced and, he can't accept the idea the Dad is no longer an available to sleep with him. Thoughts?
I tried having talking my fear with my dad but he doesn’t support he doesn’t know my fears in my own mind and world. Maybe my mom will do better..
what if they come in the middle of the night do you bring them back in and restart?
That's usually what happens with us. She will sneak in during the middle of the night and sleep on the floor.
@@docfaust2073 why the floor?
@@peterhalliday6492 That's just where she chooses to sleep. I think she doesn't want to wake my wife and I up and have her go back to her own room. Lately, when I wake up, she's laying right next to me in bed now.
What about the child is 2 years old? How do you handle that?
I'm about this.
So my child is two and she doesn't speak very much yet. How can I address her fear if she doesn't understand what I'm saying and can't count on a scale of one to ten?
Same
We set up mostly everything for my 6 year old son, even with sister sleep next to him, with night light,music, he will still cry if I am not in the room. I already lost patience with him. I have not sleep for the whole week because of him.
But what if their 7 years old! My daughter has been doing this for years my 5 year old sleeps just fine but she on the other hand comes to my room crying non stop.
So what do I do when none of the nonsense in this or any other article works? He is almost seven, I haven’t slept well in 7 years and I’m done with this. We don’t these tactics, moved his room, bought all manner of nightlights and bedding he wants and tried bribes and nothing works. I can’t lock him in his room, but I need to sleep.
Can this work with two year olds also?
Wondering too. If this works for a two year old #strugglebus
Me and my wife we tried all that it doesn't work my son just turned nine I have to sleep in the living room so he could share our bed with his mother
That's ridiculous
but.. What do you do with a child who has always slept in his own bed, sleep trained and then suddenly becomes afraid of being alone in his room. With my 3 year old, I zip him up in his tog, pray, kisses, put him down, say goodnight and walk out. Boom!!! suddenly one night, he heard a neighbors house alarm going off and started crying. Ever since, he wants me to lie with him. Some nights he falls asleep super fast and I get up and carry on with life. But some nights it takes him ages to fall asleep. I'm leaving his room at 9:30pm. Sure, now I have created a habit.. but, even when he wakes during the night, he cries for me and is super mad that I left his room. I have tried to reassure him that mommy and daddy are close by, he has nothing to fear.. but he wont have any of it. Just wants me to sleep next to him. I really dont mind 10min.. but 1 hour 30 is driving me nuts. I dont get a chance to get anything done in the evenings.. I dont even get time to chat to my husband
That’s exactly our situation. She’s 3. Always slept by herself and one night the Alexa randomly went and now she won’t sleep alone. My husband and I never get time and I dread evenings now. Tried this. Didn’t work. Considering a sleep therapist
@@thehornoftheunicorn it has gotten a bit better. So, I cut out his afternoon nap. I make sure he is bathed by 6pm and had supper by 6:30. Then we do bedtime routine, brush teeth, read and pray. I lay with him till he is out. He would cry for me every night at about 12:30 or 4:30, then I'd have to get back into his bed.. but, the last 5 nights in a row, he hasn't. He told me he's a big boy now.
Omg i’m living the same thing. My almost 2 yr old has been sleep trained since 3 months old but now she doesn’t want to sleep alone in her room. After I put her to sleep and leave, an hour later she will wake up screaming until someone sleeps with her or she ends up in my bed.
I was born in the mid forties, and co sleeping was unheard of! If my brother or I were ill, ie chicken pox, measles, etc., then in the early stages of the disease, we would sleep with my mother. During childhood and adolescence, I was frightened at night, but would not have dreamed of asking to go into my parents' bed. I feel that modern parents are far to soft and easily manipulated.
I'm a modern parent, and I understand what you're saying ❤️ I think it's finding balance. My opinion is that your time of upbringing was harsh, and the upbringings now are too soft. Just need to find a place in the middle ❤️
THANK YOU!
Child is scared when she's alone even she's with her brother or her sister
What about a screaming and terrified child, even when I sleep with them in their bed.
This background music rocks!!!
Me watching this on 2am because i cant sleep and im alone
Can you redo this without the music in the background it’s really distracting!
Would be nice to have the music toned down more. It’s kind of distracting, especially at the beginning.
I was afraid of my mom telling to go to bed instead of the dark.
My daughter wrote . I don't want to sleep here.😅
What if they come out of bed
Great question. I suggest that you watch this video: ruclips.net/video/vmkaLAyj2vE/видео.html The negative behavior would be getting out of bed. The reinforcer for getting out of bed is that they feel a reduction in anxiety. You need to figure out what is something that value even more than a reduction in anxiety. If they get out of bed, they reduce anxiety, and if they stay in bed, they can expect ________. Good Luck. (NOTE: Discussing videos and strategies with Dr. Greenaway on RUclips in no way constitutes a doctor/patient relationship.)
said to my wife I have told her put a camera monitor but I was told I was a bad father.
If my parents did that i could sleep alone . May be i should do this all alone, parenting myself.
Same here
All of this only works if the child is honest about the fear level. I'm willing to bet that the child will continue to claim a high fear level to ensure the attention they want and the allowance to leave their own room.
Ooh. Did you try the experiment? Would be very interested if your speculation turned out to be true? Thanks
@@peterhalliday6492 He is not interested in trying it ..he is only interested in complaining about. Aren’t people great?!?
@@AutoHeadz i agree. That's why I asked the question. It was almost a form of extreme passive aggression 😃
@@peterhalliday6492 I know, and I enjoyed it lol.
@@AutoHeadz thanks 😊
I'm 16 years old and I'm scared to sleep alone what is wrong with me :(
Been getting a lot of sleep paralysis and shit happening to me earlier this year,now I’m just scared of sleeping alone
Im 11 years old and I’m also scared to sleep alone your not alone! My maid sleeps with me during the week days and I had to sleep with my sister during the weekends. It’s probably because my sister is younger than me and she can’t really protect me. Therefore I always can’t sleep during the weekends and I cry when I can’t sleep
I was scared to sleep alone till I was 12 :(
@@Kayla_equestrian same it was a horrible experience
same i'm 15😭
And what do you do if it's not fear but years worth of manipulation. 6 years old and she's a master con artist with her mom. Tears and tantrums don't effect me but she knows she will always beat mom with the tears and whining
Lose the background music...
Can't hear because of the distracting music
I know. That was the trend at the time the video was made. We all got wise and stopped adding that music in the background.
The backgrund music is so annoying.
Ugh my child is 3 and isn't old enough to rate her fear 🤪
I was thinking the same thing
I'm here w you.
I drew faces to illustrate the rating for my toddler. Worked like a charm. Now for middle of the night wakings I could use some tips… taking him back over and over has not phased him.
Same at 2.5 years old 🥺
Sleep
🤦🏽♂️The fucking music bro
I'm 26 i can sleep alone.
But i sleep with my mom always ❤
Unnecessary background music
Wow, this guy has never had kids obviously
My personal life is irrelevant. I'm explaining the evidence-based procedure that usually works. I didn't make it up or conduct the research studies. I'm just explaining it. Most of the folks commenting on here indicate that it has worked for them.
Talk louder
Sutup
Although it’s negative, I appreciate your attention. I suspect you mean, “Shut up.”
does this work for 3 yr olds????????