60 was a turning point.. some shifts had to happen and they did. I’m living my dream at nearly 63. I just traveled the second time in six months and saw so much beauty and so many wonderful things. Never give up!!!
@@MsScottynz start small. Build on it. I spent my whole life being whipped around like a rag doll, no understanding of why my life didn’t work. Finding this channel was huge for me, in unraveling the damage and letting go of so much. Trusting myself!
Healing when you're older is great. There's a wealth of experience you can bring to bear that means that the healing is swift. Don't despair, your higher/deeper self has been learning all this time :)
70 was my turning point. I’m now 75 and still have a long way to go. After two narcissistic marriages and still dealing with toxic family members, I am finally learning that my CPTSD is a result of my crappy childhood and is not my fault! I am building a new home in a planned retirement community, and so excited about living my life as my authentic Self. Life is good!
You are so correct when you said that “it probably wasn’t known when you were young”. CPTSD was not only not understood as a mechanism, it literally wasn’t even a thing. We were just “lazy” or “stupid” or “unfocused”. Worse, we were seen as “resistant to the therapeutic process” even though we were desperate to have therapy work.
Weren't Nam Vets called Shell Shocked until the late 70's? When I was diagnosed with PTSD, they told me it was a soldiers' disease and that they only gave me that diagnosis because I had fought back. I don't think I was diagnosed as CPTSD until the early 2000s.
Well apparently cpsd is a strong feature. I was on the live today and got centered for simply mentioning that stories about dinner parties were very middle class perspective. I was immediately censured. Unable to comment further. It seems like this group is very cliquish. Not friendly to men at all. That's a shame.
I have been searching and working on my issues since I was 10, I am 62 and still working. Every moment of working toward a better psyche and a better, happier life, has been worth it and I won't stop til I stop breathing!!!! I hope it helps others to just go ahead and start. One day healed or without trauma getting in the way is worth a lifetime of work. At 59 met the person I had dreamed of my whole life, had 2 poor marriages and a lot due to the issues. Please please go ahead and start. As far as cptsd, listen to this woman!!!! She articulates so much of what I learned trying on my own and ways to heal I hadn't thought of yet. Bless you 🧚♀️
Thank you. Your daily practice REALLY has changed my life. I have been doing it daily for months. At first, I would cry everyday...it was sooo hard. Memories came flooding back. Now, I am so much calmer and have processed SOO much trauma. I will forever be grateful for your videos.. I finally feel free at 58 years. Oooof!
A note of encouragement from my lens of retrospection. I had to put *therapy* to rest as I refused to take the pills they blindly prescribed, and I had no results from talk therapy from onset at12yoa to the present day because I felt I had to secure my new baby and myself, my employment, securing my future retirement, and volunteer work also helped to distance myself from the unmanageable pain. I'm 69 now, and a lot has happened up to this point. I thank god I found Anna's videos. I have to view them at least twice with notes to grasp the messages, and the daily practice is something I do every day, sometimes 2-3 times a day. I've found the practice to be a complete lifesaver! Thank you, Anna! So, while you can, while you're able, please consider Anna's courses and the daily practice. You will thank yourself with all humbleness and with tangible memories of all the things that went RIGHT. I guarantee it.
Mindreading me again, Anna! At 45, and in the throes of an early menopause, I feel like a washed-up loser for whom there is no hope, and for whom all chances at life have passed by. It's as if Mother nature is rubber-stamping my suspicions by making my body old before its time! I've had nigh on 30 years of conventional talking therapy, on and off, to no avail, and it's set me up to think I'm a nut that can't be cracked, so I should stop trying to heal. One of the worst aspects is you sense others looking at you thinking you'll probably always be like this, and that you need to 'get real', and accept it. But for me it's not acceptable, and cannot imagine being able to make it through the rest of my life like this, lurking in the shadows, surviving my wretched existence. It's just too sad. I am very bitter at this point, and on my knees physically from chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia type symptoms, and I'd love to rediscover the energetic, athletic girl I was. About 2 years back I learned about bioenergetics, where the therapy is physical as well as emotional, based on the reality of trauma being literally trapped in the limbic system. I have a hunch about it because my symptoms are so physical, but in England there are no such therapists, so I have no game plan just now. However, I'd like to re-start on a healing path by giving your method a good shot, because I have a hunch about that too.
Thank you so much for sharing here ❤ I am in the same place, 41 years old. Everything you said, I relate to so deeply. And my physical health is in chaos. Praying for you 🙏
The devil is a liar!! The serpent is wrapping itself around your mind. You ARE still young and have double your life left to heal, thrive, explore, learn, love, and regain your strength. It starts in the mind. I do understand how you feel, yet you are still alive for a reason and the best years are ahead of you- not behind. Godspeed!
@@thesankobunch1147 Thank YOU! I wouldn't wish any of it on another human being, but it helps to know I'm not alone with this in my age group, at a point where everyone else i know seems to be either shacked-up, married or with child! I feel like a big, overgrown teenager, as i haven't done any of that stuff!
I hope you know, suspect you must, what a gift you bring to those who were lost in the world of Cptsd. No more, meds, or useless therapy just a freedom to take the journey within. I lived most of my life being afraid of myself and the damage I could inflict upon myself. At age 72, I love myself and walked through the door of freedom and peace. God and you dear Anna, led me there. I understand now. May God continue to bless the work you do.
As we all know it is extremely hard to do things out of the norm. I decided in July that I would try to make a change and start healing. Previously I read alot of books and RUclipsd just about everything on the subject. So when I started to take action I signed up to a gym and got off the couch.......things drastically changed in my mind when I got active.....so much that I noticed that I wasn't having those bad negative self talks anymore and that it opened up my thoughts to much more happier ones..... Only problem is now I'm active with the gym and to do lists ect that I'm not on the path of healing and learning about the CPTSD......there's just not enough time. I guess I'm in the process of learning to take care of my self slowly and im realizing that everything cant be done at once and everything will fall into place eventually.
Beautiful. I needed to see this. I'm happy for you you took action and started working out big step. Ive been trying to do do multiple things at once and never ending up anywhere. Reading your comment reminded me focus on one thing at a time and everything will fall into place. Thank you for sharing.
I started walking 45 minutes outside every day and lifting weights 5 days a week. I listen to Anna's videos, audiobooks, etc at the same time... often using headphones. I didn't have to give up learning about CPTSD or learning recovery skills just because I'm now spending more time exercising.
PS HUGE THANK YOU - Everyone, every one who posted here. Moved to tears, by each. I am in Awe of your, our extraordinary endurance and courage… we walk together hand in hand, heart in heart 💜 👏
My biological mom was so bitter from violent family , I took her into my home and now she smile and laugh. My adoptive mother always say, love one another and take care of each other.
I'm 64. Ive been listening to your videos for several months now and doing the daily practice. I just purchased your couples program, I've been alone 21 years and so eager to "break free" of my triggers. This video on "am I too late", really hit home. Ive been through countless lets talk about it therapists. This feels right to me. I'm looking forward to a miracle when I can finally heal this pain. Thank you.
this is so true, i was way too busy with life trying to get a head in life. too busy to focus on whats wrong with me. in a way i took a back seat to my kids, marriage, mortgage, food, money, ect ect you know, the daily grind. my problems were just part of it. but little did i know t was striving to build a house on sinking sand. and yeah, i probably wouldnt have stopped to notice the truth about the real symptoms from childhood causing my problems. but here now, as anna said after such a time of noticing the same pattern of self defeating behaviors, triggers, and acute dysregulations yeah, it is clear to the blind whats wrong with me. and yeah also to know whats wrong, be given the pathway to solution and healing, at 60 this is golden and can truly be my goldenness years to come. thanks to anna. thank you anna for reaching out to this old soul and connecting with the help that at my age is life changing.
I'm in my 60's and so thankful to have stumbled on this channel as I'm seeing progress. One of the things I remind myself daily is, "these are good ol' days", I no longer live with abuse, have time to rebuild myself and enjoy my life.
Thank you so much for this video. I am 48 years old and I have noticed that now I can make progress much quicker than ever before, and, the best part of all is that when I become aware of my patterns or aware of the moment I dysregulate, I can feel that all comes into place and time is not relevant anymore, healing is relevant, being happier is relevant and serving others by using my talents is, the time I took is just that, the time I needed. I hope these ideas can be of help to others struggling right now. Much love to you all and thanks a lot, Anna.
I read an article that indicates that animals experience symptoms typical of PTSD, after long periods of traumatic stress. What was interesting is that the hippocampus that helps regulate and delegate fearful experience, literally shrinks in PTSD. It is damaged and can no longer mitigate trauma. It’s the reason we keep reliving and why we keep reliving trauma and are unable to forget. ♥️🌹🕊
Yesterday I turned 55. I'm just now beginning the healing process so I hope to heaven I'm not too old because I really am committed to surviving this next phase of my life and in a positive way. Too old to heal? Absolutely not. The process is a bit overdue perhaps but as they say better late than never.
You have an amazing gift Anna and great courage. I'll turn 66 in October. There is something about seeing the end on the horizon (so, so different from pre-50 life). I can more easily step outside of Charles (and use some of your techniques/suggestions). How to make the very best, richest, fullest of what remains, that is the question. It certainly isn't always clear how to go about doing that. But, you have many, many very valuable pointers and insights. Thanks for your work!
" What a blessing that there's no more controlling family members, educational aspirations, friend get-togethers, job worries, life partners, dependent children ..." yes all these were in the way in my inward journey. Cleanup act takes willingness, focus, courage, space and energy.. all of which, for decades were directed towards those outside factors. Now I finally have the space to do the inner work...and learn to respond instead of react..
Wow, I'm so glad you posted this. I wish I had found your channel sooner. I'm in my later years and I have pushed everyone away, purposely or not, because of the fears stemming from my younger days.
Realizing it at 28 feels late. I wish I new about Cptsd, Narcissitic abuse, Trauma and Healing at the age of sixteen or seventeen. It would have saved me from a lot painful bullying at least in the outside world particularly in school. I lost my both teenage years as well as my twenties. And, at 28 I'm just beginning to come to terms with a lot shit that I was subjected to since childhood. It truly feels unfair and I feel cheated by life itself but I am happy about the fact that I'm at least aware now.
I had a golden opportunity in around 1986 to confront both parents together about my mother's emotional and verbal abuse. Now, in my retirement and with a little too much time to ruminate, I keep kicking myself in the butt for not doing it. I met them for dinner one night when they were visiting my brother and I in Hollywood and kept everything on a superficial level. I think my father was just clueless about the abuse (he was not very involved with his kids but I give him a pass as he was a WW2 medic, a Purple Heart BKA amputee and I believe he had PTSD) and my mother was her usual humorless, cold, and critical self. I decided not to confront them as my father had had a major heart surgery and was obviously not his usual self, did not look good, and my mom had had a stroke in her 50s. I knew it would ruin what was supposed to be a fun trip to L.A. and I just could not do it. Now I beat myself up for not confronting them and now they are dead. Guess who's left holding the weight of regret? There is no closure to the abuse; there will never be closure! I know you encourage us to live in the present and stop getting stuck in blame. I am what I would call a privately spiritual Christian and I know the Bible says to honor your parents. Did I honor them by not bringing the abuse into the open when I had that single opportunity? If so, all I can say is I have paid a dear price and taken myself through a hell of regret and self-bashing for not doing it. I once heard you use the word "annihilate". I did not want to annihilate them with this revelation but I did want to confront my mother with my father present. Did he ever know she said she wished she'd never had children to at least two of her 4 sons? Sometimes I wish she hadn't either. I feel like my mother put a sort of curse on me by calling me "black sheep of the family" and repeatedly telling me I was "born backwards and have been backwards ever since" because I was a breech birth. Now I am supposed to "forgive" her while she goes to heaven or wherever dead parents go who abused their kids and I have to deal with the fallout in the form of bitter regret. I am TRYING to let this go and accept it and move on.
I might do a video about this. Confronting abusers almost never brings the healing that was hoped for. The motive of "closure" is a fantasy that doesn't really hold up in my own experience. It's not fair that abusers should "get away with it," but confrontation can lead to even more harm for all concerned.
I'm almost 70 and this channel Dr Joe Dispenza.... Anna Brown..... Michael A Singer... Gangaji... BINAURAL BEATS..... 12 STEP kept me stuck a while but it gave a little relief off and on!!!
Although I've solved many issues in my life, I found out that I still need to heal. I had a kind of revelation, when I've discovered this channel. I will be 50 years old on this week. I think this is my turning point. Thank you Anna!
Pls tell us more: why is your mom bitter? My mom certainly was. She was so angry, or so it seemed, and refused to meet anybody half-way for a relationship. I don't know why she was bitter. I thought your story might provide some insight.
@@nancybartley4425 My mother was bitter over life's disappointments, the loss of her first marriage, the death of her firstborn child, health issues, etc. Then she became more bitter when I grew up, got married, and bought my first house. She thought everyone else had it so much easier and better than she did. She always said to me for years "you are so spoiled" as if I didn't deserve good things in my life. 🙄
Yes I want to talk things out but instead am ghosted no one wants to understand or take responsibility for their actions. I know I can that's what kills my spirit is road blocking
Watching bitterness erupt in someone you know was to me, horrifying. My mother kept such a tight lid on it. Reminds me of The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van der Kolk, MD. I cried buckets, and learned so much. Big love to you!
@@JAYNEmM1962 People aren't always going to take responsibility for their actions, or understand, or even listen. Ultimately it doesn't matter. You can heal without that. My brother ghosted me, he's never going to do any of those things either. I've come to realise he did me a favour, and I deserve to have people in my life who will do those things. That's not him.
Thank you from my heart! Your vlogs are exactly what I need to hear right now. Sending you, and all in this community, endless loving thoughts of healing, and much gratitude!
It is way to late at 44, when the trauma was so Extreme as it was, and still is still is. I asked and asked for help and got the opposite from sociaty arround me........And I am fully informed and know the patterns.( It depends how much trauma you have been through.)
61 and asking this question everyday … following 38 yrs of healing paths, spiritual, 12 step, coda, al anon, ACA 30 yrs of therapy straight … not unlike you blessed Anna! Doing dysregulation boot camp now! THIS video has been the background, question / experience all along … rereading again, Pete Walkers wonderful book… In surrender, G
I will be 49 in a few weeks and feel like for the first time I understand whats going on and will do what is needed to fix it yet at the same time I am angry at the time I have lost. Well I guess I will just be old and grey at all the rock concerts right! - Brandy
Yes! It's funny... my husband and I went to go see E.L.O. (the band) live a few years ago and I was so stressed that we'd be the only "grown ups." But of course, everyone was our age or older, including the band! I think that's a kind thing in life, that we grow older together.
boy i thought my first comment was important. how smart is this woman... all she had to say was its time, time to lay down my weapons, then bam, i had an emotional release!!! ive been fighting myself, within myself this whole time. the world or others are not out to get me anymore. i think im going to be alright.
Oh yes, I've thought this. Sometimes I still do, when I'm having a rough time. Knowing about neuroplasticity helps me know it IS possible to reverse and heal it. So does the progress I have already made, but on bad days, I forget this, or can't feel it. Great point about how in ways healing is easier when you're older.
I was thinking about this the past couple of days. Am I too old to heal enough to heal enough to have a relationship with someone. So, I feel encouraged. I'm 71 years old. I look and feel much younger. Most people think I look 50.
So true! At retirement age you are over the peer pressure of teen age, you are no longer a slave to the alarm clock, you realize that when you travel alone you finally see the places *you* want to see, etc. The drive to be a people-pleaser is over, you can enjoy life on your terms, finally. And If youre married, you are more into civility and friendship than in some power struggle and "finding your place" in the relationship, you are free to be yourself, and let your spouse be himself. It just gets easier, all around.
Yes. Our part but not all of it... everyone involved has to want to self examine... without offense. And trying to voice to the other person the triggers for self for partnership growth with patience and intimacy results in misunderstood words and lost opportunities to commune with each other if both are not willing to self examine. Hurt people attract hurt people? Thank you for your time Anna. Very much. I have found a few channels that are really complementing each other in educating those who want healing. Love one another. 🙇♀️ Forgiveness. As best as we can.
I love this comment. No disrespect to anyone, but what happened to us in childhood was not within our control; some of the ways that we reacted to it, as adults are. I see a lot of people not wanting to look into the accountability mirror, continuously blaming the” narcissist” that they chose to stay with as adults. I love to see people own the fact that they stayed out of feelings of low self esteem, fear, doubts, etc. As adults we played a part in our failures, I love to see people who don’t just pass the buck! Good luck on your healing journey ❤️
The one step you take in your healing process today is one step you didn't take yesterday. Even if you think you'll never reach "the end", it's still worth starting, at least. Is there ever really an "end" or finished product to be a fully realized and authentic person anyway?
I’m 29, so I don’t feel like that I’m too late but I feel like because I spent (and will continue to spend) years healing, that I will permanently miss out on life experiences that someone without CPTSD had time to experience these things. That is what upsets me
Amazing anna! Sharing with all support groups and with all friends and family that I think can benefit from this, so awesome! Love your work so much!🔥💔💘😍🙏💫
I'm in my mid 50s. Ive done all the work. Ive worked through most of the past trauma. What I'm finding now is as the walls come down and I'm no longer "protecting" myself. I'm seeing thing as they are not as I want them to be for self protection. So I'm experiencing a lot of emotion. I feel like I want to cry all the time. I see regret, hurt, what might have been, I see past friends, events, emotional flashbacks.I feel great loneliness. I am scared all the time. Like the little boy inside me is trying to get out. I think this is healthy for me to "throw up" all the pain,. Is this something others have experienced?
Not sure if you are still out there but I'm coming out of burnout and for me at least, going from emotionally completely numb and unavailable to being able to cry felt like progress. I think grieving, crying, feeling emotions that you pushed aside is probably a step in the right direction if it doesn't go into full on depression. Just a thought, not a therapist.
Yes, I think it's too late. I no longer have an interest in the topic where "cure" is concerned, and I no longer have an interest in making new friends--particularly in the political and health-related conundrum in which we find ourselves. Fortunately, I am not bored by being alone and have a multitude of duties and interests that keep me busy and entertained. I participate on social media and find that what I write is usually appreciated. If I overstep my bounds, I can apologize; and if someone is nasty to me, I can respond thoughtfully and with reason. So much better than my interactions of the past. The needs of youth are not the needs I have today. If you're a social person, a person who needs people to satisfy and entertain you, then, by all means, put forth the effort to recover. As for childhood trauma, videos like yours have validated my own feelings and worked wonders for me. No, they don't heal the trauma, but validation is often everything one needs to proceed happily and confidently. I no longer have a need to castigate anyone because I know what happened and what it caused. It all makes sense. Two plus two is four. Thank you.
Just pointing out, what you do on social media is something you can do in person too. If you want to. For me, while social media plays a part in the need to interact with others, it's a poor substitute for in-person and/or intimate relationships. By that I mean intimate friendships, not just romantic relationships.
@@Catbooks You GO, Jay. That's what healing is about. Fortunately, I have family who live houses from me; they surround me and fill my needs for company. I have a friend in a neighbor, also. I moved from my home in 2010 and left some of my intimate relationships behind. The ones who lasted dropped me because of political differences. What I do on social media cannot be done in person, as my experiences have proven. At my age, it's difficult to make new friends, but I don't miss having intimate relationships with other people because I feel fulfilled as I am. Best of luck to you in your healing.
I'm stunned by how I've been trying to recreate my childhood environment of "these are the things we don't talk about". It took my dad's memoirs to make me believe that the original anger in the family wasn't my fault. I deserved that long ago. I could easily slide into bitterness, and I've been tempted. But I'd only be poisoning myself with it. I want a better life than I had and nobody else will ever be the obstacle that I was.
I'm 42 and until recently I was still having flashbacks of things I tried hard to forget since I was a toddler. Now everything is coming together however it has led to much more resentment and bitterness. I try my best but I'll admit sometimes it seems to get the best of me.
I've been heling for years, through 12-step programs and now through this channel, as well as much other work. I'm happy. I'm living my best life at 70, but I think it's too late to find a healthy relationship. There are very few single men my age who will date a woman my age to begin with, and then to find a healthy one? It could happen, but highly doubtful.
I'm 47 & this gives me HOPE reading the comments below⬇. You all are awesome for sharing your experiences here. I DID think it was too late. I blamed EVERYTHING and ANYTHING but the unhealed trauma inside of me. And the symptoms are getting worse! Its unbearable now. To much to go into. But over 4 decades the added trauma over the original made me think of ....truly giving up. Today I released a tiny bit in an uncontrollably deep sob😭 on a long walk I took. Moving to a new state was my M.O. but it's not the answer when I'M THE PROBLEM! I'm ready to heal, be normal & enjoy life with my time left on this earth. At least with myself. Its painfully obvious I am NOT CAPABLE of being in handling ANY personal relationships.
@@maryrichardson6029 I hope so. I have such mixed feelings. On the one hand, I hurt because she's gone and on the other hand, I feel a huge sense of a giant weight being lifted off of me. I'm mourning the mother she was when she wasn't being hurtful but also feeling relieved I don't have to keep trying to win her approval.
MY BEHAVIOR for 6 decades is slapping me in the face this week..it was always "them"...IT REALLY WAS...but I never held myself accountable UNTIL this week...A LOATHING of myself smacked me in the face...I mean disgust at my attitude behavior and ugly bitterness when I allowed God to show me my true self through His eyes...guess what? He was not repulsed...instead He gave me a good look at myself, who I'd become, to show me I played a huge part in my miseries and He will walk with me to Health...I'm in a state of being stunned and also realized I'm not at all who I was meant to be...and you're right Anna it's made me sad a little depressed knowing who I've become gradually...so my journey to health begins with me and my issues...time to bury the bastages who drove me to this condition, the past has to be dead in its stink so I can bathe my soul in a new fragrance one step at a time...weird being focused on being good to myself instead of focused on the baggage the people of the past but RELEASE is my first dose of good medicine...right here...right now...Thank you Anna🌹
Ugh…at 51 years old, I struggle with believing it’s not too late. I don’t trust my decision making skills on any level and I feel like I’m just hanging around in purgatory waiting for this life to be over. Besides my grown children, I’m not connected to anyone or anything. I say I’m lonely, but I don’t want to be around people at all. At this point, my expectations are low that I will ever actually thrive…I’m just trying to relieve the pain from the heavy feeling of hollowness that used to come and go, but lately just lingers all the time. I’ve been in counseling on and off for the past 25 years and just recently started going again. I know I’ve got some self sabotaging behaviors because in the past I usually quit therapy when it gets too painful. I’m afraid to start unpacking and really working through all my childhood trauma and abuse. I regret not doing it earlier in life when I maybe it would have made a difference.
Just started a new job and it's not looking good again. I wish I wasn't me. I wish I didn't have to keep going through this year after year. Although I struggle to pick up new jobs initially, I get it reasonably soon but getting work colleagues to accept me is, every single time, a nightmare. They just take against me..even when I haven't done anything specific wrong. It's like I'm always always on the outside and they slam the door iny face after a couple of days of working there. I become the butt of everyone's joke and the person nobody wants to be on shift with. And so the spiral down begins again. 😢
I am bitter and therefore cuckoo. My daily life means that I must deal in person with the now-aging person that used to beat me up. No one will save me but me. I am isolated in a rural area far away from the downtown city life I lived for 35 years. I listen to every video that Anna puts out and I surround myself with bright colours and disco music. If anyone wants vocal lead sheets for any Donna Summer song, contact me.
What happens when you cannot seem to escape being betrayed? At nearly 50, this is worse than it has ever been, and it's caused an unbelievable amount of damage. Further, I seem to be the butt of some sort of cosmic joke about general bad luck. I realize this sounds absurd, and surely I'm avoiding responsibility for something, but I am prepared to share info, if necessary, to prove it, but I'd rather not have to start out defending myself. The reason I'm here is not for sympathy, but for help. I cannot seem to do anything to stop the onslaught of bad shit, it's been several years, and I am more alone now than ever before. I feel hopeless and defeated and I'm suffocating. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?
I'm becoming someone I don't like. Has been happening for several years. I am concerned about becoming bitter. Therapy and EMDR did not work. My anger intensified, I developed new triggers and EMDR was re-traumatizing. I went against my own intuition and listened to the advice of not disconnecting from my family. One of my abusive sadistic tormentors is still very much involved with our family so over the years I have tried to create a new relationship with him. Well stupid fuckin' me for trying once again. In July he tried to manipulate me while I was in the midst of processing an undeniable truth about a traumatic childhood event; which I had accepted as an undeniable reality only a few days before. I never want anything to do with him ever again which means I have to limit contact with the rest of my family more than it already is limited. I'm exhausted and can't sleep yet I have to stay busy so I'm not triggered as much. I constantly have emotional flashbacks. I want to relax but can't. I've tried meditation which has only made my anger worse. I'm deeply sad, often depressed, always anxious and always extremely angry. My anger is extreme and intense; bordering on bitterness. Occasionally my sadness comes to the surface only to be quickly taken over by anger and rage making it impossible to process sadness and grief. I'm living my life as if there's a chance for happiness in the future but in reality that's not going to happen. I need to learn how to accept the fact that I am never going to be happy.
Anna suggests a specific writing technique prior to meditation, it is not uncommon to struggle with meditation when there is a lot of bitterness/fear and ruminations. bit.ly/3608opl -Cara@TeamFairy
Here's my question. I have birth defects & birth & a birth injury. So in other words I don't think I WAS able to calm down as a baby. One of NY earliest memories was me in the hospital just screaming inconsolably as a nurse was escorting my parents away. I was left alone to scream & scream & I did. Alone. I know that immediately after birth I had a birth mark removed from my arm without anesthesia. It was 1959. The surgeries & procedures never stopped after that until I was in high school. And I just basically learned to dissociate REALLY early. So would a technique that is designed to reconnect me with the ability to re regulate as I did as a baby work if I never knew that to begin with? 🤔 I'm going through something called dysautonomia right now which means my autonomic nervous system has gone flooey. Who'd a thunk it right? 😄 Yeah I'm going through it. ❤️
Re-regulation techniques taught here are designed to calm a nervous system that didn't learn to regulate itself so they are certainly worth a try! -Cara@TeamFairy
I’m just going to put this out there right now. It’s never too late to heal. I’m 24, and I’ve been ready to heal. I’m working on healing right now. I still have some old habits because of my CPTSD, but I’m really working on suppressing those habits, or just killing those habits altogether. And I can’t help but ask, has there ever been any research for a cure for CPTSD? I think a cure would be nice.
No magic bullet as of yet :) At CCF, Anna has courses on how to stay regulated more of the time. This free mini course is an example of something that has changed my life bit.ly/3608opl -Cara@TeamFairy
What is really messed up is I wanted to heal and fix my mothers pains from a terrible husband two of them ,I had therapists drs ask me if my childhood caused my problems I would say no.NOW IM LIKE OMG I WAS MY MOTHERS PROTECTER WHILE SHE USED ME MANIPULATED ME THEN WOULD INVOLVE ALL MY SIBLINGS IN A JAYNE BASHING.I hated that I couldnt tell my side without crying or being understood so I just pulled away back in 2006.at 13 I was with a 21 yr old who has used me up abuse mental physical and my mom would comment well he has a job and for the first ten years he didnt then was fired from every job till he got this farm job in 2009.Im the blame for his job losses my mothers pain.etc. shame and changing to a moving goal post says I'm a lost cause.
Mid 30s. Feeling like my life is F****D. I'm hopeful for the future, but furious about the way my life has gone up to this point, and furious at myself for my failures to be all that I know I am capable of.
Yes!!! I had to stop talk therapy especially therapists that have zero idea about trauma, it's NOT for trauma and abuse, it caused severe anxiety and re-traumatization, it made it worse not better, not cool!!
I'm doing better with online narcissist and trauma abuse healing courses, leaps and bounds! Since being sexually assaulted by a Dr not long ago, I have zero trust in therapists, medical personnel etc so online self help has helped me tremendously!! Thank you for your videos
Yes I'm 45 😁 just went NC with a specific narc in my family then another narc and flying monkey discarded my young kids and I like trash... probably the best thing they could do despite how horrifying and devastating, heart breaking it was...I'm finally free of severe abuse, toxicity and drama
I understand entirely. I am 60 and struggle with this daily, especially when I relapse into old patterns. I find it helpful to consider this: so many people that have not suffered from CPTSD,etc are so uncomfortable with the subject that they avoid it with a vengeance. It is up to us, recovering mature survivors to try to be a voice for younger survivors and children still suffering who are too young or too early in their healing to have a voice of their own. I have lived with fear and anxiety dominating and sabotaging my life for over 50 years. I struggle to break free of that and constantly doubt if I will ever be capable of being "ok". But I know I can speak loudly and confidently for the young victims that need support. I would love to have the qualifications to do even more, but for now I will continue to try to heal so I can show them how it can be done, it nothing else. Your story and experience matters. ❤️
Hello everyone, It’s my birthday today. I am 68. Am I to old to heal this?? My heart says “ no”. My Anxiety Breakdown in 2018 came with have chronic dizziness since. Yes, I’ve lived dizzy 3 years. It hits me very hard afternoons ( seems like pattern now) and I become so debilitated from the way it feels. I have gone through anxiety programs.. and I have made so many changes in my mindset to try and get this symptom to stop. I search my heart for answers and my nervous system still just sways and waves through my head until I am in deep anxiety. I lose focus and can’t think.. cry.. beseech god. At 68, I am so open to learn what I need to apply graciously. And yet it remains. This is daily. I have no injuries or health issues either. I have lots of info… have read much on trauma/anxiety symptoms and “ why” they are there. I look deep into my heart and life to be free of this. I wish I knew what it will take as I want to live in peace. I’m so hoping you are right and can heal this as I realize the answered MUST be in me somewhere.
It's weird. Talking makes it more painful but I can whisper or mutter what I'm going through just to get it out, doesn't send me into an adrenaline spiral.
I’m 26, and I feel sooooo old.. I’m not old to heal, but I feel like too old to live my dream life.. it’s 2021 and everywhere there are 18y.o. billionaires and 18 y.o. world famous pop stars.. And I want to live BRIGHT life too. But today I still physically sick of my reflection in the mirror.. I’m still have troubles with sleeping etc. Still not talented.. And I don’t want to live ADULT life..there’s nothing interesting in it.. I don’t want to have kids.. I am my own kid((😥
Wish I could have found u 30 yrs ago. My ex was a former detective & he made be believe I wasn't able to take care of my daughter & myself. (The a@@hole is dead) so now I can't yell & scream at him. I so understand how police can get false confessions...
60 was a turning point.. some shifts had to happen and they did. I’m living my dream at nearly 63. I just traveled the second time in six months and saw so much beauty and so many wonderful things. Never give up!!!
My grandmother was a Knight. I know it is silly, but I have no family so i dream of finding them.
I'm too scared 😱
@@nancybartley4425 well there was alot of mental illness, old school racism, and other unpleasantries in our family tree. Don’t look there!
@@MsScottynz start small. Build on it. I spent my whole life being whipped around like a rag doll, no understanding of why my life didn’t work. Finding this channel was huge for me, in unraveling the damage and letting go of so much. Trusting myself!
Thank you so much for sharing ❤
Healing when you're older is great. There's a wealth of experience you can bring to bear that means that the healing is swift. Don't despair, your higher/deeper self has been learning all this time :)
Sweet and thoughtful comment. Thank you.
Beautiful. Do u have any books you could suggest.
@@complexjanedoe Not off the top of my head. I began practicing Buddhist chanting, Pranayama and meditation, that was effective for me
@@complexjanedoe Plum Village.. (france..)Thich nhat Hanh, ('boss..) all about healing.. ('audio books available...!)
{⊙}🙋°○💚👻💛○°{⊙}
@@sugarfree1894 I'm going to look into those. I feel desperate and have a hard time sticking to anything. Thank you for responding
70 was my turning point. I’m now 75 and still have a long way to go. After two narcissistic marriages and still dealing with toxic family members, I am finally learning that my CPTSD is a result of my crappy childhood and is not my fault! I am building a new home in a planned retirement community, and so excited about living my life as my authentic Self. Life is good!
That's wonderful!
-Cara@TeamFairy
You are so correct when you said that “it probably wasn’t known when you were young”. CPTSD was not only not understood as a mechanism, it literally wasn’t even a thing. We were just “lazy” or “stupid” or “unfocused”. Worse, we were seen as “resistant to the therapeutic process” even though we were desperate to have therapy work.
Still the case.
Weren't Nam Vets called Shell Shocked until the late 70's?
When I was diagnosed with PTSD, they told me it was a soldiers' disease and that they only gave me that diagnosis because I had fought back.
I don't think I was diagnosed as CPTSD until the early 2000s.
Well apparently cpsd is a strong feature. I was on the live today and got centered for simply mentioning that stories about dinner parties were very middle class perspective. I was immediately censured. Unable to comment further. It seems like this group is very cliquish. Not friendly to men at all. That's a shame.
I have been searching and working on my issues since I was 10, I am 62 and still working. Every moment of working toward a better psyche and a better, happier life, has been worth it and I won't stop til I stop breathing!!!! I hope it helps others to just go ahead and start. One day healed or without trauma getting in the way is worth a lifetime of work. At 59 met the person I had dreamed of my whole life, had 2 poor marriages and a lot due to the issues. Please please go ahead and start. As far as cptsd, listen to this woman!!!! She articulates so much of what I learned trying on my own and ways to heal I hadn't thought of yet. Bless you 🧚♀️
What a kind message to everyone. Thank you Queen!
Thank you. Your daily practice REALLY has changed my life. I have been doing it daily for months. At first, I would cry everyday...it was sooo hard. Memories came flooding back. Now, I am so much calmer and have processed SOO much trauma. I will forever be grateful for your videos.. I finally feel free at 58 years. Oooof!
This is SO wonderful to hear. Very happy for you. Do you come to my Zoom calls? I'd love to say hello.
Oh you sound just like me ! Almost 59 and I have never connected to healing until I met Fairy & learned about CPTSD ! ♥
A note of encouragement from my lens of retrospection. I had to put *therapy* to rest as I refused to take the pills they blindly prescribed, and I had no results from talk therapy from onset at12yoa to the present day because I felt I had to secure my new baby and myself, my employment, securing my future retirement, and volunteer work also helped to distance myself from the unmanageable pain. I'm 69 now, and a lot has happened up to this point. I thank god I found Anna's videos. I have to view them at least twice with notes to grasp the messages, and the daily practice is something I do every day, sometimes 2-3 times a day. I've found the practice to be a complete lifesaver! Thank you, Anna! So, while you can, while you're able, please consider Anna's courses and the daily practice. You will thank yourself with all humbleness and with tangible memories of all the things that went RIGHT. I guarantee it.
This is beautiful. Thank you.
First 25 years were hell
25 - 40 a constant struggle advance and relapse
40 - 60 at peace with humans at last
Well deserved progress :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Mindreading me again, Anna!
At 45, and in the throes of an early menopause, I feel like a washed-up loser for whom there is no hope, and for whom all chances at life have passed by. It's as if Mother nature is rubber-stamping my suspicions by making my body old before its time! I've had nigh on 30 years of conventional talking therapy, on and off, to no avail, and it's set me up to think I'm a nut that can't be cracked, so I should stop trying to heal. One of the worst aspects is you sense others looking at you thinking you'll probably always be like this, and that you need to 'get real', and accept it. But for me it's not acceptable, and cannot imagine being able to make it through the rest of my life like this, lurking in the shadows, surviving my wretched existence. It's just too sad. I am very bitter at this point, and on my knees physically from chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia type symptoms, and I'd love to rediscover the energetic, athletic girl I was. About 2 years back I learned about bioenergetics, where the therapy is physical as well as emotional, based on the reality of trauma being literally trapped in the limbic system. I have a hunch about it because my symptoms are so physical, but in England there are no such therapists, so I have no game plan just now. However, I'd like to re-start on a healing path by giving your method a good shot, because I have a hunch about that too.
Thank you so much for sharing here ❤ I am in the same place, 41 years old. Everything you said, I relate to so deeply. And my physical health is in chaos.
Praying for you 🙏
The devil is a liar!! The serpent is wrapping itself around your mind. You ARE still young and have double your life left to heal, thrive, explore, learn, love, and regain your strength. It starts in the mind. I do understand how you feel, yet you are still alive for a reason and the best years are ahead of you- not behind. Godspeed!
@@shewins3775 ❣️
@@thesankobunch1147 Thank YOU! I wouldn't wish any of it on another human being, but it helps to know I'm not alone with this in my age group, at a point where everyone else i know seems to be either shacked-up, married or with child! I feel like a big, overgrown teenager, as i haven't done any of that stuff!
@@shewins3775 Thank you!
I hope you know, suspect you must, what a gift you bring to those who were lost in the world of Cptsd. No more, meds, or useless therapy just a freedom to take the journey within. I lived most of my life being afraid of myself and the damage I could inflict upon myself. At age 72, I love myself and walked through the door of freedom and peace. God and you dear Anna, led me there. I understand now. May God continue to bless the work you do.
I appreciate the love for the Fairy! Thanks for being here
-Cara@TeamFairy
As we all know it is extremely hard to do things out of the norm.
I decided in July that I would try to make a change and start healing. Previously I read alot of books and RUclipsd just about everything on the subject.
So when I started to take action I signed up to a gym and got off the couch.......things drastically changed in my mind when I got active.....so much that I noticed that I wasn't having those bad negative self talks anymore and that it opened up my thoughts to much more happier ones.....
Only problem is now I'm active with the gym and to do lists ect that I'm not on the path of healing and learning about the CPTSD......there's just not enough time.
I guess I'm in the process of learning to take care of my self slowly and im realizing that everything cant be done at once and everything will fall into place eventually.
Beautiful. I needed to see this. I'm happy for you you took action and started working out big step. Ive been trying to do do multiple things at once and never ending up anywhere. Reading your comment reminded me focus on one thing at a time and everything will fall into place. Thank you for sharing.
I started walking 45 minutes outside every day and lifting weights 5 days a week. I listen to Anna's videos, audiobooks, etc at the same time... often using headphones.
I didn't have to give up learning about CPTSD or learning recovery skills just because I'm now spending more time exercising.
PS HUGE THANK YOU - Everyone, every one who posted here. Moved to tears, by each. I am in Awe of your, our extraordinary endurance and courage… we walk together hand in hand, heart in heart 💜 👏
Thank YOU too!
-Cara@TeamFairy
My biological mom was so bitter from violent family , I took her into my home and now she smile and laugh. My adoptive mother always say, love one another and take care of each other.
Beautiful message :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
That makes me happy to hear people so far along in life are still willing to learn and try to better themselves.
It is profoundly better than the alternative.
Never too late :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I'm 70 .
Joy occurs in the moment , no matter how many years lie behind you .
Exactly!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I'm 64. Ive been listening to your videos for several months now and doing the daily practice. I just purchased your couples program, I've been alone 21 years and so eager to "break free" of my triggers. This video on "am I too late", really hit home. Ive been through countless lets talk about it therapists. This feels right to me. I'm looking forward to a miracle when I can finally heal this pain. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this comment! Way to go with Daily Practice - you are on your way :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
this is so true, i was way too busy with life trying to get a head in life. too busy to focus on whats wrong with me. in a way i took a back seat to my kids, marriage, mortgage, food, money, ect ect you know, the daily grind. my problems were just part of it. but little did i know t was striving to build a house on sinking sand. and yeah, i probably wouldnt have stopped to notice the truth about the real symptoms from childhood causing my problems. but here now, as anna said after such a time of noticing the same pattern of self defeating behaviors, triggers, and acute dysregulations yeah, it is clear to the blind whats wrong with me. and yeah also to know whats wrong, be given the pathway to solution and healing, at 60 this is golden and can truly be my goldenness years to come. thanks to anna. thank you anna for reaching out to this old soul and connecting with the help that at my age is life changing.
Beautiful! Thank you for those comments
-Cara@TeamFairy
I’m 56 and I do feel that way
🙋♀️ Same age🙋♀️
60 here and yeah
Keep you're head up!
One of your best videos. Thank you.
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching. - Ashley, Team Fairy
53...and no it isn't too late. I finally found my healed self. The inner shift started at 50.
Thank you for the encouragement!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I can’t believe I found you. You have truly changed my life
Welcome! I'm glad you are here too
-Cara@TeamFairy
I'm in my 60's and so thankful to have stumbled on this channel as I'm seeing progress. One of the things I remind myself daily is, "these are good ol' days", I no longer live with abuse, have time to rebuild myself and enjoy my life.
Great attitude!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you so much for this video. I am 48 years old and I have noticed that now I can make progress much quicker than ever before, and, the best part of all is that when I become aware of my patterns or aware of the moment I dysregulate, I can feel that all comes into place and time is not relevant anymore, healing is relevant, being happier is relevant and serving others by using my talents is, the time I took is just that, the time I needed. I hope these ideas can be of help to others struggling right now. Much love to you all and thanks a lot, Anna.
Thank you! What a lovely description of what it's like to grow more free!
I read an article that indicates that animals experience symptoms typical of PTSD, after long periods of traumatic stress. What was interesting is that the hippocampus that helps regulate and delegate fearful experience, literally shrinks in PTSD. It is damaged and can no longer mitigate trauma. It’s the reason we keep reliving and why we keep reliving trauma and are unable to forget. ♥️🌹🕊
Thanks for sharing
-Cara@TeamFairy
Yesterday I turned 55. I'm just now beginning the healing process so I hope to heaven I'm not too old because I really am committed to surviving this next phase of my life and in a positive way. Too old to heal? Absolutely not. The process is a bit overdue perhaps but as they say better late than never.
happy birthday just jeff. you will do well good for you.
@JustJeff better late than never is a true story!
-Cara@TeamFairy
You have an amazing gift Anna and great courage. I'll turn 66 in October. There is something about seeing the end on the horizon (so, so different from pre-50 life). I can more easily step outside of Charles (and use some of your techniques/suggestions). How to make the very best, richest, fullest of what remains, that is the question. It certainly isn't always clear how to go about doing that. But, you have many, many very valuable pointers and insights. Thanks for your work!
I'll be 68 in November. The science wasn't there when it happened. I too love her outlook.
Thank you!
" What a blessing that there's no more controlling family members, educational aspirations, friend get-togethers, job worries, life partners, dependent children ..." yes all these were in the way in my inward journey. Cleanup act takes willingness, focus, courage, space and energy.. all of which, for decades were directed towards those outside factors. Now I finally have the space to do the inner work...and learn to respond instead of react..
Yes!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Wow, I'm so glad you posted this. I wish I had found your channel sooner. I'm in my later years and I have pushed everyone away, purposely or not, because of the fears stemming from my younger days.
Thanks for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Realizing it at 28 feels late. I wish I new about Cptsd, Narcissitic abuse, Trauma and Healing at the age of sixteen or seventeen. It would have saved me from a lot painful bullying at least in the outside world particularly in school. I lost my both teenage years as well as my twenties. And, at 28 I'm just beginning to come to terms with a lot shit that I was subjected to since childhood. It truly feels unfair and I feel cheated by life itself but I am happy about the fact that I'm at least aware now.
Look at it as great experience which you'll be able to share with others :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I had a golden opportunity in around 1986 to confront both parents together about my mother's emotional and verbal abuse. Now, in my retirement and with a little too much time to ruminate, I keep kicking myself in the butt for not doing it. I met them for dinner one night when they were visiting my brother and I in Hollywood and kept everything on a superficial level. I think my father was just clueless about the abuse (he was not very involved with his kids but I give him a pass as he was a WW2 medic, a Purple Heart BKA amputee and I believe he had PTSD) and my mother was her usual humorless, cold, and critical self. I decided not to confront them as my father had had a major heart surgery and was obviously not his usual self, did not look good, and my mom had had a stroke in her 50s. I knew it would ruin what was supposed to be a fun trip to L.A. and I just could not do it. Now I beat myself up for not confronting them and now they are dead. Guess who's left holding the weight of regret? There is no closure to the abuse; there will never be closure! I know you encourage us to live in the present and stop getting stuck in blame. I am what I would call a privately spiritual Christian and I know the Bible says to honor your parents. Did I honor them by not bringing the abuse into the open when I had that single opportunity? If so, all I can say is I have paid a dear price and taken myself through a hell of regret and self-bashing for not doing it. I once heard you use the word "annihilate". I did not want to annihilate them with this revelation but I did want to confront my mother with my father present. Did he ever know she said she wished she'd never had children to at least two of her 4 sons? Sometimes I wish she hadn't either. I feel like my mother put a sort of curse on me by calling me "black sheep of the family" and repeatedly telling me I was "born backwards and have been backwards ever since" because I was a breech birth. Now I am supposed to "forgive" her while she goes to heaven or wherever dead parents go who abused their kids and I have to deal with the fallout in the form of bitter regret. I am TRYING to let this go and accept it and move on.
I might do a video about this. Confronting abusers almost never brings the healing that was hoped for. The motive of "closure" is a fantasy that doesn't really hold up in my own experience. It's not fair that abusers should "get away with it," but confrontation can lead to even more harm for all concerned.
Starting you Daily Practice course today.
I'm almost 70 and this channel
Dr Joe Dispenza.... Anna Brown..... Michael A Singer... Gangaji... BINAURAL BEATS..... 12 STEP kept me stuck a while but it gave a little relief off and on!!!
I'm so glad you get relief here :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Although I've solved many issues in my life, I found out that I still need to heal. I had a kind of revelation, when I've discovered this channel. I will be 50 years old on this week. I think this is my turning point. Thank you Anna!
You are ripe for healing! Welcome!
My mother is so bitter.. we aren’t even in contact now because she chose bitterness over self reflection and meeting me in the middle.
Pls tell us more: why is your mom bitter? My mom certainly was. She was so angry, or so it seemed, and refused to meet anybody half-way for a relationship. I don't know why she was bitter. I thought your story might provide some insight.
@@nancybartley4425 My mother was bitter over life's disappointments, the loss of her first marriage, the death of her firstborn child, health issues, etc. Then she became more bitter when I grew up, got married, and bought my first house. She thought everyone else had it so much easier and better than she did. She always said to me for years "you are so spoiled" as if I didn't deserve good things in my life. 🙄
Yes I want to talk things out but instead am ghosted no one wants to understand or take responsibility for their actions. I know I can that's what kills my spirit is road blocking
Watching bitterness erupt in someone you know was to me, horrifying. My mother kept such a tight lid on it. Reminds me of The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van der Kolk, MD. I cried buckets, and learned so much. Big love to you!
@@JAYNEmM1962 People aren't always going to take responsibility for their actions, or understand, or even listen. Ultimately it doesn't matter. You can heal without that. My brother ghosted me, he's never going to do any of those things either. I've come to realise he did me a favour, and I deserve to have people in my life who will do those things. That's not him.
Thank you from my heart! Your vlogs are exactly what I need to hear right now. Sending you, and all in this community, endless loving thoughts of healing, and much gratitude!
Right back at you- sending healing and love
-Cara@TeamFairy
It is way to late at 44, when the trauma was so Extreme as it was, and still is still is. I asked and asked for help and got the opposite from sociaty arround me........And I am fully informed and know the patterns.( It depends how much trauma you have been through.)
Glad you're here :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Really hit the nail on the head with not having to bring up the history of CPTSD!
Thanks for listening!
-Cara@TeamFairy
61 and asking this question everyday … following 38 yrs of healing paths, spiritual, 12 step, coda, al anon, ACA 30 yrs of therapy straight … not unlike you blessed Anna! Doing dysregulation boot camp now! THIS video has been the background, question / experience all along … rereading again, Pete Walkers wonderful book…
In surrender,
G
How beautiful! I'm in a current re-read of the book as well :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
One of my favourite sayings is: "Don't be bitter, be better", I sometimes forget it.
I will be 49 in a few weeks and feel like for the first time I understand whats going on and will do what is needed to fix it yet at the same time I am angry at the time I have lost. Well I guess I will just be old and grey at all the rock concerts right! - Brandy
Yes! It's funny... my husband and I went to go see E.L.O. (the band) live a few years ago and I was so stressed that we'd be the only "grown ups." But of course, everyone was our age or older, including the band! I think that's a kind thing in life, that we grow older together.
boy i thought my first comment was important. how smart is this woman... all she had to say was its time, time to lay down my weapons, then bam, i had an emotional release!!! ive been fighting myself, within myself this whole time. the world or others are not out to get me anymore. i think im going to be alright.
Nice!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Oh yes, I've thought this. Sometimes I still do, when I'm having a rough time. Knowing about neuroplasticity helps me know it IS possible to reverse and heal it. So does the progress I have already made, but on bad days, I forget this, or can't feel it. Great point about how in ways healing is easier when you're older.
Thank you for your thoughts on this!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I am 41 and yes I do feel this way too.
Thank you for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I love reading the testimonies. Healing really is possible at any age. Good luck to everyone who is ready to take the next step in your journey.
And to you as well :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
You are a good friend to have found in a long hard life of asking why, how
That's beautiful, Anna really loves her followers too :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I was thinking about this the past couple of days. Am I too old to heal enough to heal enough to have a relationship with someone. So, I feel encouraged. I'm 71 years old. I look and feel much younger. Most people think I look 50.
Stay encouraged :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
So true! At retirement age you are over the peer pressure of teen age, you are no longer a slave to the alarm clock, you realize that when you travel alone you finally see the places *you* want to see, etc. The drive to be a people-pleaser is over, you can enjoy life on your terms, finally. And If youre married, you are more into civility and friendship than in some power struggle and "finding your place" in the relationship, you are free to be yourself, and let your spouse be himself. It just gets easier, all around.
Thank you for sharing it doesn't always have to be difficult!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Yes. Our part but not all of it... everyone involved has to want to self examine... without offense. And trying to voice to the other person the triggers for self for partnership growth with patience and intimacy results in misunderstood words and lost opportunities to commune with each other if both are not willing to self examine. Hurt people attract hurt people? Thank you for your time Anna. Very much. I have found a few channels that are really complementing each other in educating those who want healing. Love one another. 🙇♀️ Forgiveness. As best as we can.
As best we can...exactly!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I love this comment. No disrespect to anyone, but what happened to us in childhood was not within our control; some of the ways that we reacted to it, as adults are. I see a lot of people not wanting to look into the accountability mirror, continuously blaming the” narcissist” that they chose to stay with as adults. I love to see people own the fact that they stayed out of feelings of low self esteem, fear, doubts, etc. As adults we played a part in our failures, I love to see people who don’t just pass the buck! Good luck on your healing journey ❤️
I’m in the hospital now I’m Thankful to have found you on RUclips You help me so much 😘
Get well soon!
-Cara@TeamFairy
So hopeful .much gratitude
Yay hope!
The one step you take in your healing process today is one step you didn't take yesterday.
Even if you think you'll never reach "the end", it's still worth starting, at least.
Is there ever really an "end" or finished product to be a fully realized and authentic person anyway?
Really good comment.
@@Catbooks thank you.
@Social_Distancing_On well said!
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you. And thank you for this channel. Is is very much needed!
I’m 29, so I don’t feel like that I’m too late but I feel like because I spent (and will continue to spend) years healing, that I will permanently miss out on life experiences that someone without CPTSD had time to experience these things. That is what upsets me
I understand, but healing doesn't have to get in the way of life - it just becomes part of it.
-Cara@TeamFairy
Each video I watch I feel validated by you. Thank you a million times over 🥰
You are so welcome
Amazing anna! Sharing with all support groups and with all friends and family that I think can benefit from this, so awesome! Love your work so much!🔥💔💘😍🙏💫
Aw, hugs to you, @Leah_Lambros!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy 💖💖💖
Your videos give me life. Thank you, CCF.
Thank you so much for the Fairy encouragement :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Excellent, as usual 🙏❤
Appreciate you watching :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I'm in my mid 50s. Ive done all the work. Ive worked through most of the past trauma. What I'm finding now is as the walls come down and I'm no longer "protecting" myself. I'm seeing thing as they are not as I want them to be for self protection. So I'm experiencing a lot of emotion. I feel like I want to cry all the time. I see regret, hurt, what might have been, I see past friends, events, emotional flashbacks.I feel great loneliness. I am scared all the time. Like the little boy inside me is trying to get out. I think this is healthy for me to "throw up" all the pain,. Is this something others have experienced?
Not sure if you are still out there but I'm coming out of burnout and for me at least, going from emotionally completely numb and unavailable to being able to cry felt like progress. I think grieving, crying, feeling emotions that you pushed aside is probably a step in the right direction if it doesn't go into full on depression. Just a thought, not a therapist.
Yes, I think it's too late. I no longer have an interest in the topic where "cure" is concerned, and I no longer have an interest in making new friends--particularly in the political and health-related conundrum in which we find ourselves. Fortunately, I am not bored by being alone and have a multitude of duties and interests that keep me busy and entertained. I participate on social media and find that what I write is usually appreciated. If I overstep my bounds, I can apologize; and if someone is nasty to me, I can respond thoughtfully and with reason. So much better than my interactions of the past. The needs of youth are not the needs I have today. If you're a social person, a person who needs people to satisfy and entertain you, then, by all means, put forth the effort to recover. As for childhood trauma, videos like yours have validated my own feelings and worked wonders for me. No, they don't heal the trauma, but validation is often everything one needs to proceed happily and confidently. I no longer have a need to castigate anyone because I know what happened and what it caused. It all makes sense. Two plus two is four. Thank you.
Just pointing out, what you do on social media is something you can do in person too. If you want to. For me, while social media plays a part in the need to interact with others, it's a poor substitute for in-person and/or intimate relationships. By that I mean intimate friendships, not just romantic relationships.
@@Catbooks You GO, Jay. That's what healing is about. Fortunately, I have family who live houses from me; they surround me and fill my needs for company. I have a friend in a neighbor, also. I moved from my home in 2010 and left some of my intimate relationships behind. The ones who lasted dropped me because of political differences. What I do on social media cannot be done in person, as my experiences have proven. At my age, it's difficult to make new friends, but I don't miss having intimate relationships with other people because I feel fulfilled as I am. Best of luck to you in your healing.
M
@@omamae.3343 ?? Do you speak?
Validation is underrated sometimes.
I'm stunned by how I've been trying to recreate my childhood environment of "these are the things we don't talk about". It took my dad's memoirs to make me believe that the original anger in the family wasn't my fault. I deserved that long ago. I could easily slide into bitterness, and I've been tempted. But I'd only be poisoning myself with it. I want a better life than I had and nobody else will ever be the obstacle that I was.
You can have that life!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I think I'm getting better at re regulating but it is still a work in progress....
Me too. The important thing is, we're making progress.
I'm 42 and until recently I was still having flashbacks of things I tried hard to forget since I was a toddler. Now everything is coming together however it has led to much more resentment and bitterness. I try my best but I'll admit sometimes it seems to get the best of me.
That is what the Daily Practice is for :) bit.ly/3608opl
-Cara@TeamFairy
I've been heling for years, through 12-step programs and now through this channel, as well as much other work. I'm happy. I'm living my best life at 70, but I think it's too late to find a healthy relationship. There are very few single men my age who will date a woman my age to begin with, and then to find a healthy one? It could happen, but highly doubtful.
I'm 47 & this gives me HOPE reading the comments below⬇. You all are awesome for sharing your experiences here. I DID think it was too late. I blamed EVERYTHING and ANYTHING but the unhealed trauma inside of me. And the symptoms are getting worse! Its unbearable now. To much to go into. But over 4 decades the added trauma over the original made me think of ....truly giving up. Today I released a tiny bit in an uncontrollably deep sob😭 on a long walk I took. Moving to a new state was my M.O. but it's not the answer when I'M THE PROBLEM! I'm ready to heal, be normal & enjoy life with my time left on this earth. At least with myself. Its painfully obvious I am NOT CAPABLE of being in handling ANY personal relationships.
I'm glad you feel ready to heal! We have a lot of support in Crappy Childhood Fairy land :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I think I'm getting better about accepting things too but again it's a work in progress...
It sure is!
-Cara@TeamFairy
38 here 💪 I will do it no matter what..
My mother is gone now, as of May 31st, so now maybe I CAN heal! I can figure out who I am without her defining me....
Yes, my mom died in 1994 but I felt that way too. It did clear a space for me. No more "hope" that she would change!
I had complete relief when NM died.
You can do this.
@@maryrichardson6029 I hope so. I have such mixed feelings. On the one hand, I hurt because she's gone and on the other hand, I feel a huge sense of a giant weight being lifted off of me. I'm mourning the mother she was when she wasn't being hurtful but also feeling relieved I don't have to keep trying to win her approval.
MY BEHAVIOR for 6 decades is slapping me in the face this week..it was always "them"...IT REALLY WAS...but I never held myself accountable UNTIL this week...A LOATHING of myself smacked me in the face...I mean disgust at my attitude behavior and ugly bitterness when I allowed God to show me my true self through His eyes...guess what? He was not repulsed...instead He gave me a good look at myself, who I'd become, to show me I played a huge part in my miseries and He will walk with me to Health...I'm in a state of being stunned and also realized I'm not at all who I was meant to be...and you're right Anna it's made me sad a little depressed knowing who I've become gradually...so my journey to health begins with me and my issues...time to bury the bastages who drove me to this condition, the past has to be dead in its stink so I can bathe my soul in a new fragrance one step at a time...weird being focused on being good to myself instead of focused on the baggage the people of the past but RELEASE is my first dose of good medicine...right here...right now...Thank you Anna🌹
Thank you so much for sharing your experience here!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you Anna!
Thank you too!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you for another great video 🙂
Appreciate you!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Ugh…at 51 years old, I struggle with believing it’s not too late.
I don’t trust my decision making skills on any level and I feel like I’m just hanging around in purgatory waiting for this life to be over. Besides my grown children, I’m not connected to anyone or anything. I say I’m lonely, but I don’t want to be around people at all. At this point, my expectations are low that I will ever actually thrive…I’m just trying to relieve the pain from the heavy feeling of hollowness that used to come and go, but lately just lingers all the time.
I’ve been in counseling on and off for the past 25 years and just recently started going again. I know I’ve got some self sabotaging behaviors because in the past I usually quit therapy when it gets too painful. I’m afraid to start unpacking and really working through all my childhood trauma and abuse. I regret not doing it earlier in life when I maybe it would have made a difference.
Just started a new job and it's not looking good again. I wish I wasn't me. I wish I didn't have to keep going through this year after year. Although I struggle to pick up new jobs initially, I get it reasonably soon but getting work colleagues to accept me is, every single time, a nightmare. They just take against me..even when I haven't done anything specific wrong. It's like I'm always always on the outside and they slam the door iny face after a couple of days of working there. I become the butt of everyone's joke and the person nobody wants to be on shift with. And so the spiral down begins again. 😢
That sounds awful and really painful. Have you tried the Daily Practice course yet? bit.ly/3608opl
-Cara@TeamFairy
I am bitter and therefore cuckoo. My daily life means that I must deal in person with the now-aging person that used to beat me up. No one will save me but me. I am isolated in a rural area far away from the downtown city life I lived for 35 years. I listen to every video that Anna puts out and I surround myself with bright colours and disco music.
If anyone wants vocal lead sheets for any Donna Summer song, contact me.
Brilliant video
Glad you liked it!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you, Anna, for the real and still very encouraging truth!
Thank YOU for being here :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
What happens when you cannot seem to escape being betrayed? At nearly 50, this is worse than it has ever been, and it's caused an unbelievable amount of damage. Further, I seem to be the butt of some sort of cosmic joke about general bad luck. I realize this sounds absurd, and surely I'm avoiding responsibility for something, but I am prepared to share info, if necessary, to prove it, but I'd rather not have to start out defending myself. The reason I'm here is not for sympathy, but for help. I cannot seem to do anything to stop the onslaught of bad shit, it's been several years, and I am more alone now than ever before. I feel hopeless and defeated and I'm suffocating. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?
There is a lot of support available here:
courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/
-Cara@TeamFairy
I'm becoming someone I don't like. Has been happening for several years. I am concerned about becoming bitter. Therapy and EMDR did not work. My anger intensified, I developed new triggers and EMDR was re-traumatizing. I went against my own intuition and listened to the advice of not disconnecting from my family. One of my abusive sadistic tormentors is still very much involved with our family so over the years I have tried to create a new relationship with him. Well stupid fuckin' me for trying once again. In July he tried to manipulate me while I was in the midst of processing an undeniable truth about a traumatic childhood event; which I had accepted as an undeniable reality only a few days before. I never want anything to do with him ever again which means I have to limit contact with the rest of my family more than it already is limited.
I'm exhausted and can't sleep yet I have to stay busy so I'm not triggered as much. I constantly have emotional flashbacks. I want to relax but can't. I've tried meditation which has only made my anger worse. I'm deeply sad, often depressed, always anxious and always extremely angry. My anger is extreme and intense; bordering on bitterness. Occasionally my sadness comes to the surface only to be quickly taken over by anger and rage making it impossible to process sadness and grief. I'm living my life as if there's a chance for happiness in the future but in reality that's not going to happen. I need to learn how to accept the fact that I am never going to be happy.
Anna suggests a specific writing technique prior to meditation, it is not uncommon to struggle with meditation when there is a lot of bitterness/fear and ruminations. bit.ly/3608opl
-Cara@TeamFairy
I was just thinking that!! Thanks🥰
Glad you saw it!
-Cara@TeamFairy
It's hard to heal when you are homeless with no resources. Can't keep a job my symptoms always sabotage me. I've falling into a tunnel of doom reality
I'm so sorry, I hope you find some relief. This is the technique Anna frequently refers to bit.ly/3608opl
-Cara@TeamFairy
Here's my question. I have birth defects & birth & a birth injury. So in other words I don't think I WAS able to calm down as a baby. One of NY earliest memories was me in the hospital just screaming inconsolably as a nurse was escorting my parents away. I was left alone to scream & scream & I did. Alone. I know that immediately after birth I had a birth mark removed from my arm without anesthesia. It was 1959. The surgeries & procedures never stopped after that until I was in high school. And I just basically learned to dissociate REALLY early. So would a technique that is designed to reconnect me with the ability to re regulate as I did as a baby work if I never knew that to begin with? 🤔 I'm going through something called dysautonomia right now which means my autonomic nervous system has gone flooey. Who'd a thunk it right? 😄 Yeah I'm going through it. ❤️
Re-regulation techniques taught here are designed to calm a nervous system that didn't learn to regulate itself so they are certainly worth a try!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Yup. Every time I see- & try to finish- one of your videos.
Glad you're here :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I’m just going to put this out there right now. It’s never too late to heal. I’m 24, and I’ve been ready to heal. I’m working on healing right now. I still have some old habits because of my CPTSD, but I’m really working on suppressing those habits, or just killing those habits altogether. And I can’t help but ask, has there ever been any research for a cure for CPTSD? I think a cure would be nice.
No magic bullet as of yet :) At CCF, Anna has courses on how to stay regulated more of the time. This free mini course is an example of something that has changed my life bit.ly/3608opl
-Cara@TeamFairy
What about anger...would you call that bitterness?
I would. Speaking as someone who has far fewer problems with anger these days.
@Lisa_Kaufman in Crappy Childhood Fairy Land we would call it resentment. And Daily Practice is the cure bit.ly/3608opl
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you...I'm trying to make it a daily practice!
What is really messed up is I wanted to heal and fix my mothers pains from a terrible husband two of them ,I had therapists drs ask me if my childhood caused my problems I would say no.NOW IM LIKE OMG I WAS MY MOTHERS PROTECTER WHILE SHE USED ME MANIPULATED ME THEN WOULD INVOLVE ALL MY SIBLINGS IN A JAYNE BASHING.I hated that I couldnt tell my side without crying or being understood so I just pulled away back in 2006.at 13 I was with a 21 yr old who has used me up abuse mental physical and my mom would comment well he has a job and for the first ten years he didnt then was fired from every job till he got this farm job in 2009.Im the blame for his job losses my mothers pain.etc. shame and changing to a moving goal post says I'm a lost cause.
👍🏽 such a great video. Thank you.
Glad you enjoyed it!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thanks Anna 💐
Thank you for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Mid 30s. Feeling like my life is F****D. I'm hopeful for the future, but furious about the way my life has gone up to this point, and furious at myself for my failures to be all that I know I am capable of.
You are still young! Never forget: healing is possible!
Nika@TeamFairy
Yes!!! I had to stop talk therapy especially therapists that have zero idea about trauma, it's NOT for trauma and abuse, it caused severe anxiety and re-traumatization, it made it worse not better, not cool!!
I'm doing better with online narcissist and trauma abuse healing courses, leaps and bounds! Since being sexually assaulted by a Dr not long ago, I have zero trust in therapists, medical personnel etc so online self help has helped me tremendously!! Thank you for your videos
Yes I'm 45 😁 just went NC with a specific narc in my family then another narc and flying monkey discarded my young kids and I like trash... probably the best thing they could do despite how horrifying and devastating, heart breaking it was...I'm finally free of severe abuse, toxicity and drama
Thank you...I soooo appreciate your posts, especially about c-ptsd ❤️
Really glad the videos are helping!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I'm 56 and I feel like I'm too broken to be fixed.
I understand entirely. I am 60 and struggle with this daily, especially when I relapse into old patterns. I find it helpful to consider this: so many people that have not suffered from CPTSD,etc are so uncomfortable with the subject that they avoid it with a vengeance. It is up to us, recovering mature survivors to try to be a voice for younger survivors and children still suffering who are too young or too early in their healing to have a voice of their own. I have lived with fear and anxiety dominating and sabotaging my life for over 50 years. I struggle to break free of that and constantly doubt if I will ever be capable of being "ok". But I know I can speak loudly and confidently for the young victims that need support. I would love to have the qualifications to do even more, but for now I will continue to try to heal so I can show them how it can be done, it nothing else. Your story and experience matters. ❤️
No, you are not.
@Rob_Young not true though! Glad you're here
-Cara@TeamFairy
Me too rob, me too
Hello everyone,
It’s my birthday today. I am 68. Am I to old to heal this?? My heart says “ no”.
My Anxiety Breakdown in
2018 came with have chronic dizziness since. Yes, I’ve lived dizzy 3 years.
It hits me very hard afternoons ( seems like pattern now) and I become so debilitated from the way it feels. I have gone through anxiety programs.. and I have made so many changes in my mindset to try and get this symptom to stop. I search my heart for answers and my nervous system still just sways and waves through my head until I am in deep anxiety. I lose focus and can’t think.. cry.. beseech god. At 68, I am so open to learn what I need to apply graciously. And yet it remains.
This is daily. I have no injuries or health issues either.
I have lots of info… have read much on trauma/anxiety symptoms and “ why” they are there. I look deep into my heart and life to be free of this.
I wish I knew what it will take as I want to live in peace.
I’m so hoping you are right and can heal this as I realize the answered MUST be in me somewhere.
Thank you I needed to hear that.
Thank you for the Fairy support!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Yes
Most feel that way but it can be done :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I feel like this at 33
Glad you're here :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
It's weird. Talking makes it more painful but I can whisper or mutter what I'm going through just to get it out, doesn't send me into an adrenaline spiral.
Try writing it using Anna's technique bit.ly/3608opl
-Cara@TeamFairy
A great point. My therapist is asking me if I'm open to EMDR, which I am leary of but have heard you discuss briefly b4.
How long do I have left to heal has been a burning question 🤔
It's an ongoing process that goes from seeming hard to being a joy :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I’m 26, and I feel sooooo old.. I’m not old to heal, but I feel like too old to live my dream life.. it’s 2021 and everywhere there are 18y.o. billionaires and 18 y.o. world famous pop stars.. And I want to live BRIGHT life too. But today I still physically sick of my reflection in the mirror.. I’m still have troubles with sleeping etc. Still not talented.. And I don’t want to live ADULT life..there’s nothing interesting in it.. I don’t want to have kids.. I am my own kid((😥
Glad you're here @Sabrina_Murk
-Cara@TeamFairy
Curious again, my comment about EFT has disappeared. What’s up?
What is EFT?
RUclips automatically filters anything with a link in it. Did you try to share a link?
It’s getting late ⏰ now or never
I believe in you!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Wish I could have found u 30 yrs ago. My ex was a former detective & he made be believe I wasn't able to take care of my daughter & myself. (The a@@hole is dead) so now I can't yell & scream at him.
I so understand how police can get false confessions...
Thanks for sharing :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Got beat up by yoga believe it or not
I'm sure you aren't alone :)
-Cara@TeamFairy