I really like how Rachel Cruze handles calls like this. She gets the information needed to provide good answers but is also gentle and compassionate. And she does not interrupt callers while they’re talking. Thanks, Rachel!
$40,000 combined incomes from two insolvent businesses. $700k home value ( $500k home equity). $209k credit cards debt. Fortunately, you have home equity because you cannot pay down the credit card balances using your incomes. Either together or apart you must sell the house. Pay off the cards. That leaves you $291k to either combine together towards a fresh start or $145k each after a divorce.
yep agree 100%. this is the only realistic path forward for people in their 50s. if they EVER want to retire, they need to sell the house, pay off the debt, close down the businesses and go get jobs. i can make more than $36k working as a bagger at a grocery store. they make that combined.
This is pretty much what I recently did. Nearly 200k in credit card debt, I could pay everything, but it was just the status quo and making no progress on it. Sold my small, dilapidated home, which was fully paid off. Paid off the credit cards with that, and bought a modest new home (financed). Much better life now.
@@titolovely8237If you can make $36k as a bagger, it's because you are a young person working in a post Covid environment. Prior to Covid, such pay for that job was a fantasy. Don't get too accustomed to it. Wall Street has a history of cranking out recessions to wreck your train.
Different couples have different systems, in some one person works and the other manages the money. Some might have the same person making the money managing it, sometimes both make it and manage it. Both might make it with one person managing it, some people don't care to actively manage it and track numbers. Each person has their strengths, what matters is having trust, integrity, and transparency in financial matters and everyone having "access" to their shared money as they need it.
Read between the lines. He grosses $200K+, but claims only $26K as income. He probably has everything in his company's name. They're not as poor as she's saying.
@@JKAnu-yq1tr I worked as a contractor for almost a decade making around 80k and my net on taxes showed about 15k. But I lived like I made 100k because I paid so little taxes on 80k from all the write offs allowed. Pretty sure he's in the same boat.
Alcohol isn’t that expensive, no. But if he’s drinking too much, being too lazy, being hungover, yeah none of that adds up to a successful business person. lol
@@jasonleatherwood2172 It's not the amount of money spent on alcohol, it's the time spent not working, losing jobs because you don't show up or can't do the work because you're hungover. if a person is drinking a lot, they won't be successful in their trade and the business suffers.
You say that like it’s a bad thing…she’s a SAHM raising a special needs kid, and she has a side hustle bringing an extra $10K to the family. That’s a great setup (minus the alcoholic husband)
No, I think he is loading his taxes with expenses to show very little income to the IRS. Will he make it through an audit? Probably not. Everything is a write off until you get caught.
@@barnabusdoyle4930 Some people whose books I looked at in consideration of making an offer to buy were writing off all kinds of crazy things with their business including quite a few home expenses not remotely related to business. I’m a business owner so I’m not naive I was just cringing the whole time they talked. The business was garbage so I politely declined and also told them if they ever got audited they’d be fuq’d.
40 years of marriage. Raised three sons. Basically a stay at home/work from home wife/mother. Husband is primary wage earner. He's great at his job, makes good money, but, since the start of our marriage I've handled the money. The bills, the budget, the investments. He hates that stuff. And it gives me, as one of two partners, a power base. May sound strange, but it's worked for us. FYI, this sounds quite simplistic. Marriage is difficult, managing your finances is even harder. Hang in there, it gets better if you BOTH want it to. "That's just my opinion, I could be wrong." ~~~ Dennis Miller
However, I bet you are not denying your husband access to the portfolio. He knows the codes, if, not you are happy to provide, even if he checks it once every 6 months the information is not being hidden from him. It's fair to say that if you develop a gambling addiction started using your household money to support that addiction your husband would notice?
Credit card debt can be so crippling to your mental health. Up until 6 months ago I was just like the husband. I was too ashamed to tell my husband how bad things were financially. A couple of times I really felt like ending my life. If I could speak to the husband or to the wife that loves him, I would say just sell your house and use the equity to pay off your credit card debts 100%. Even if you have to rent a room, an apartment, buy a mobile home to house your family, you will sleep much better. Life will not feel so worthless and the god awful feeling of depression will lift. I am praying for this woman and her family’s happiness.
This is what she has to do for her son if anything. He will have to get over moving. In the long run this is the right move. Her husband won't work with her so the marriage is over when that happens. He won't even talk about it.
@@katemiller7874 especially not easy with autism. It''s much more a delicate situation. The first step is always the hardest as well. having been in an abusive relationship without children it's not a straight cut as " oh we'll just leave'. christ sake.
That 26k is a bookkeeping thing. It’s after all the deductions, etc. He probably has at least double, but even that is SUPER low for an electrical professional
So she married him in her 30s and tolerated him not telling her what's going on with the finances? She said married 19 years in their 50s. She was old enough to know to ask a lot of questions when they got married.
No spouse should allow themselves to be this comfortable on a relationship. Always be aware of what is going on, you might no the ins and outs but have enough information to comprehend the stage of your finances.
She said he’s going through a mental decline. He could have been completely trust worthy before they became parents. She is clearly in an abusive situation, she might not have realized until recently as it’s escalated. Go easy on her.
I live 40 miles north of Pittsburgh and I have needed a electrician several times and there always $50 a hour self employed. I had one time the electrician had a helper and then it was a $75 a hour.
His business is making over 200K a year she said, BUT he has so much stuff in debt that most of it is going to pay banks for loans. His overhead is enormous amounts of debt!
When Dave isn't in the chair, I like the other hosts, but sometimes they just lame-ass their way through a call without being helpful. She needs to contact each of the three credit bureaus and pull her credit reports to find out exactly what accounts have her name on them. Then contact the IRS and pick the "Innocent Spouse" option in the phone menu. She says he has life insurance, but is she positive that 1) she's the beneficiary and 2) that policy is still in effect? If he's only making the minimums on everything, he may have let that policy lapse. There's no way I would be married to a guy that was so controlling of the money that not only did I not have a bank log in, but my name wasn't even on the account.
@@mjj8560 Just exactly where did I say that? Nowhere, so your reading comprehension needs a little work.. She probably won't get out free and clear, but let her concentrate on just exactly what is *her* responsibility, and right now, she has no clue. Since her husband won't talk to her, she needs to find out how deep he's put her in the hole.
All good advice but you’re a step ahead. She isn’t in the right place for that yet and that was discussed on the call. Her first step is whether it’s ‘me or us’ that are going to take action.
@@Judep4237 I don't think it's a step ahead at all. She can check her credit reports right now without him knowing it. That'll give her a picture of what kind of shape she's in. How can she possibly deal with "me or us" when she has no idea where she is in the equation?
There's no way they can have a house and a kid and dogs in vehicles and 209,000 in credit card debt and make 36 Grand a year. Just the credit card minimum payment would be like $3000 a month. They just need to do some bankruptcy. The dude's probably drinking because he knows he's under water and his wife is leaving.
Definitely a hoarder and most likely he overpays for everything. He'll probably never sell a thing because whatever price he's offered won't be enough. Been there and its a nightmare.
Get a lawyer / then he will have to disclose what’s happening financially…then sell the house and his crap and take what’s left and get the hell out of that mess…wake up!
@@russellmoore5711 he's putting ALL their lives in danger with his behavior. Is she supposed to abandon her kids' future to the whims of an unreasonable man? I'm sure God will understand. You give too much leeway on things that God will understand, like mixing fabrics and eating pork, but a woman is somehow going to hell for this one scam of a vow.
@@gab_saavage my good friend has an autistic son too. Shes worked her way up to executive at an international streaming service you probably subscribe too. And she organises fundraisers for his specialist autism school. YES the caller is lazy AF.
It’s bad when you’re in debt but it’s made 1000x worse when one spouse stonewalls you. They either have their head in the sand or they won’t talk. That’s so wrong to keep someone imprisoned like that
This is why we go over the budget together every week. We do it weekly because we get a paycheck every week. When we are done with B2, we will reevaluate our budget.
Guarantee they are. I looked up in my local property records and found people in my extended family and friends who had IRS liens against their assets. You would have never guessed they’re the type to get behind on taxes but they did. 100% this guy is behind on taxes, especially since he’s self employed.
The way they spend money they may not be . Most likely tax fraud no way they can afford 700k home any make the payments on home and minimum payments on car and credit card debt.
I have no sympathy for people who make bad financial decisions, who are married, and refuse to even have conversations or work at it. You aren’t just hurting yourself, you are hurting your family. It’s selfish and immature. I had depression n I drank, but I didn’t mess up my wife’s finances, i didn’t run away from responsibility. Zero sympathy!
@@ericar.6370 haha you think that’s bragging? That’s just an opinion. If you don’t want people to have opinions maybe don’t read comment sections… no one is perfect but everyone has their line, and that’s mine. Sorry if that offends you
@@KiingM it doesn’t offend me, it’s just a harsh take and shows a lack of empathy. If that’s your line you’ve led a blessed and sheltered life considering the truly horrible things humans beings can really do to each other.
@@KiingM No, thanks. I don’t have to explain anything. Good on you for judging others and being without flaws and having no lessons to learn. Bless your heart! 🙏🏾
That’s taxable with depreciation and things. Not hard to reduce taxable well below profits with that. He could be actually profiting 2-3 times that easily… or that could be pretty close to his actual profit.
I like how she said that he has a life insurance policy and then immediately said he's "not mentally well". I dunno, just alarm bells there, but lady, you don't get a payout if he offs himself.
This is a really hard situation because she has to look out for her special needs child before anything and can’t simply separate from her husband and cause significant change in the world of that child
He will get over it. I think the bigger roadblock is the fact that her income is on that property. My autistic kids dealt with my split from their father.
married 19 years & she was in the dark on their finances- why? Now she is wondering what to do? Also- I own a business & I never mix my personal with my business account. She may find she is just scratching the surface with the hole he has dug!
She said after the depreciation and everything. The books net revenue that is then taxable is very different from the cash balance and cash outlay. Still a bad situation but no way are they living off of 26K
This guy should make 200k a year.. she, on the other hand, needs a real job, not a 10k hobby. She made a bad choice marrying this guy, that part is clear. Personally, I'd leave and start over.
She does have a 'real job.' Did you miss the part where she's the primary caregiver for their special-needs son? That $10k is a side hustle that she makes working from home. You also missed the part where she said he makes $233k a year, but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26k.
@@BlueDauntless Not my problem. Report it to the IRS if you think it's tax evasion. He's a business owner, so if he's claiming depreciation, it may well not be tax evasion. Honestly, I think he's doing something shady, but again, it's not my problem.
How is $200k+ a "low-paying business"? The caller said her husband makes that much, but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26K. Big difference.
Ok her “business from home” is a hobby that brings in about $9/hr, if she’s bringing in $10,000/year and only working the hours her son is in school (assuming 185 days of school, 6 hours each day). She needs to get a part time job elsewhere that brings in $20+/hr not $9/hr that keeps her stuck at the house where all the equipment is.
“Hoarding? No. Just huge collections of things.” If you’re in debt, your “huge collections” are hoarding - especially if you’re so emotionally invested in them that you can’t consider selling them to ensure your family’s financial security.
Why is no one paying attention? The caller said her husband makes over $200k but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26k, probably with a little creative accounting. Big difference.
Not going to end well, had a similar situation. As the alcoholic gets older the drinking gets worse. Multiple ER visits, then death. Then try to uncover the financial mess that was left behind.
I wish I could have heard Dave handle this call. This advice was not helpful. Giving an ultimatum to someone that controlling is only going to escalate the problem. There’s more going on here.
Sinking ship! Warning. When you find out about finances instead of being told, there is so much more you will never know. I found out about an extra mortgage, money being given to others, money being diverted before it appears on a paycheck, phones that never come in the house, etc. She should order the tax transcripts, get a separate bank account, and find a job asap. If he feels found out he will abandon ship or make attempts to control the ship even tighter. There is no winning with relationships that have come to this point. Separation and moving forward before things get worse.
He is just not declaring all income. No way they have a 700k home and they are both delusional with her only making 10k even with a special needs child.🤔
Sadly you can never make enough to out earn your credit card debt. I think they should just sell the house and be done with all that credit card debt. Maybe then he’ll be in a better mental state to realize he can earn a six figure income. Wishing for the best for this couple .
What kind of business grosses over 200k just to come back with 26k net? Why have a business at that point? Just to say you’re a business owner? He’s better off working at Mc Donald’s at this point.
8 месяцев назад+2
I’m betting there are a lot of “beverage“ expenses for this business
That actually doesn't make any sense. The wife is catastrophizing. They live in a 700k house and owe less than 300k, that's a lot of money they have. Husband brings in 250k+ as a sole proprietor, he probably writes off their house and cars and does more clever tax work arounds to say he only brings in 25k. The credit card debt is bad but according to her, the husband is keeping up with the payments.
Business owners get a lot of tax deductions. With a little creative accounting and all the deductions and loopholes available to a business owner, they can reduce a $230k gross to end up paying taxes on only $26k. That doesn't mean that's all the money he has. That's just the amount of money he paid taxes on.
Rule one of having your own business is too keep everything separate from personal accounts. From what I've seen business owners who combined personal and business accounts waste a lot of money.
The Spender who controls all the access to the accounts, has secret accounts & secret credit cards. Ahhhh, I know it well. Now I’m thinking does my husband have a secret life with this lady bc our situations are shockingly similar???🙃 Financial abuse is a form of psychological abuse and they refuse to answer ANY questions or transparency about the money. I’m 60 and going thru the same thing after 27 years of marriage and 2 kids. I have finally chosen the option to get out before I’m an old penniless lady living in a box on the side of the road. Sadly when you’re busy raising kids you think you can trust your spouse to have your best interest but sadly it’s not always true. You will regret the day you turned over the handling of the finances solely to one party.
I don't understand how he's only making $26K as an electrician in Pittsburgh. (Even electrician apprentices make more than that.) The demand for electricians is high and most self-employed electricians can set their own rates.
He grosses $230k. But he’s only reporting $26k as income. It sounds like tax evasion. Some of those business deductions are legit. I guarantee others are not. And he mixes his business and personal accounts, so it’s all a mess.
If they file a joint federal tax return and the money is co-mingled she can get stuck on the tax as well, however, in their circumstances I would think the tax is not that great. I think that there was a case years ago where a debtor argued that his creditor should have known better than to loan him so much money. He lost. However, that argument should be raised again since loaning him so much money on so little income is reckless.
She mentioned a collection of stamps and other stuff. Sell it. I collect coins, but have no problem selling pieces when they no longer please me or I can allocate the money better elsewhere. Stamps are a dead end investment anyway. Interest is plummeting in everything but the rarest pieces. I see whole estate collections selling for $100 because no one under 50 wants the stuff any more.
40k combined income and a total credit card debt of 209k of which 40k is through the business credit card debt. Leaves 160k in personal credit vard debt left. How the hell can you get into 160k unsecured credit with an income of just 40k? Completely mad house. How can credit card companies allow this to pile up? There is no way they can pay this debt off without selling the house. Stupidity at the highest level🤦🏻♂️ As an outsider, I was always wondering why the average American has a couple of credit cards in their wallet? Some people are living in a dream. 🤦🏻♂️
If that lady came to me and asked for help, I'd be like both go to counseling NOW. Total access to all financials NOW. Pull credit reports and IRS tax filing history NOW. May as well look at his phone history while she's at it, if he successfully hid $200K in credit card debt I'm sure she missed other things as well. Personally,if he didn't agree to all terms I'd be hitting my attorney's office. You can never catch up when someone is determined to bury your family.
he threatened to leave, he threatened to stay. Everything is a threat, unless he pays. Roses are red and love is fake, a wedding is just a funeral with cake
@Aristaifly well I just listed everything she needs to do which she didn't do. And since he hid all that $ she'll be working until she's elderly at this rate so...
I honestly wonder if he has women on the side. I hate to think that, but Electricians make great money. I wonder if he is just telling her they “don’t make a lot” so then she won’t find out there was more to begin with and maybe he is using the money in some unholy way with women left and right. If she “isn’t allowed” to see the money something shady is clearly going on. My heart breaks for her either way. He isn’t behaving like a true partner would. Marriage is being 100% honest in all things, and at all times. Being poor is not a marriage breaker, it’s the hiding stuff that is the issue. (For richer for poorer? Remember that phrase?) Suddenly everyone forgets the “poorer” part of that phrase when they get themselves in a financial mess. The real issue is being able to work together and not have only one of them doing the heavy lifting. It isn’t fair for her. I would definitely counsel them to get jobs to increase the income for sure though. That would alleviate some stress.
They're not going to make over $200k flipping burgers. Is no one paying attention? The caller said her husband makes over $230k but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26k. Big difference.
Hubby has Asperger's - He's autistic too with OCD and controlling behavior. She can open up her own bank account. Why is she being so dependent and acting the victim?
I would have loved to see how Dr. John would have handled this call. I suspect he would not have mentioned the finances as much and speak on their marriage. This should be a call redirected to John’s show
The fact that he's hiding all of this stuff from her, I agree that he's being financially abusive....not just towards her, but also towards their son. Money only goes so far before it runs out, and that could dramatically affect their son, providing even less stability that their son needs.
26k is what is he "claiming" to the IRS she said he grossed mid 200s no way he is only netting roughly 10%. Id imagine he is hiding some cash inflow as well since he is an independent contractor basically. Is he in a tight spot? for sure, you cant be in 200k of credit card debt and be good. But 36k is definitely not what they are actually living on. IMO. Lady called in and definitely doesn't have the whole picture of their finances that is step one. No way they would get 200k in credit card loans with a house worth 700 on 34k earnings. I believe she is a little ignorant to their finances and always has been now Shes getting nosey (as she should be) and the guy is getting frustrated.
I really like how Rachel Cruze handles calls like this. She gets the information needed to provide good answers but is also gentle and compassionate. And she does not interrupt callers while they’re talking. Thanks, Rachel!
$40,000 combined incomes from two insolvent businesses. $700k home value ( $500k home equity). $209k credit cards debt. Fortunately, you have home equity because you cannot pay down the credit card balances using your incomes. Either together or apart you must sell the house. Pay off the cards. That leaves you $291k to either combine together towards a fresh start or $145k each after a divorce.
That's what I thought. Sell the house, downsize, and pay everything off.
yep agree 100%. this is the only realistic path forward for people in their 50s. if they EVER want to retire, they need to sell the house, pay off the debt, close down the businesses and go get jobs. i can make more than $36k working as a bagger at a grocery store. they make that combined.
@@roadrunner9622 she's not going to do that, the autistic kid, she already did the whole "its the only house he's ever known schpeel"
This is pretty much what I recently did. Nearly 200k in credit card debt, I could pay everything, but it was just the status quo and making no progress on it. Sold my small, dilapidated home, which was fully paid off. Paid off the credit cards with that, and bought a modest new home (financed). Much better life now.
@@titolovely8237If you can make $36k as a bagger, it's because you are a young person working in a post Covid environment. Prior to Covid, such pay for that job was a fantasy. Don't get too accustomed to it. Wall Street has a history of cranking out recessions to wreck your train.
Ladies.... no anyone.... should never leave finances to one person. Money management is a two person job.
I'm single and I manage my money just fine myself.
My wife does all of our finances herself. We are just fine as well.
As Reagan said: "Trust, but verify".
Different couples have different systems, in some one person works and the other manages the money. Some might have the same person making the money managing it, sometimes both make it and manage it. Both might make it with one person managing it, some people don't care to actively manage it and track numbers. Each person has their strengths, what matters is having trust, integrity, and transparency in financial matters and everyone having "access" to their shared money as they need it.
@@fortunateson2LOL you didn’t just say that. You’re SINGLE. Nobody else is in the money on either side. … embarrassing
$26k for an electrician? That seems way low, especially for one's own business.
Read between the lines. He grosses $200K+, but claims only $26K as income. He probably has everything in his company's name. They're not as poor as she's saying.
Yeah 26k is only the irs taxable, more likely income is in the 150-200k range
@@BatCorkillNo. His NET income is 26K. That's what he's actually taking away after paying his expenses.
@@JKAnu-yq1tr I worked as a contractor for almost a decade making around 80k and my net on taxes showed about 15k. But I lived like I made 100k because I paid so little taxes on 80k from all the write offs allowed. Pretty sure he's in the same boat.
She said 233k a year
How can you even get enough credit to owe $200K in credit cards with only a $36K/year income?
That's a good question. Unless they used yo make more.
@@UKBamagurl it's probably ballooning interest from credit cards with high interest rates while he's only paying the minimums....
blows my mind how so many people have crazy amounts of debt. so sad
Like the USA
USA is built on debt
So much debt and so little income...less income than a lot of retirees. It ain't worth being self-employed if you're making peanuts.
they getting points on their credit card. don't you know anything.... they can take a free airplane ride
@@jetthelooter sarcasm????? lol
Just before she mentioned alcohol I was thinking to myself "a guy working for himself in the trades but not making any money, I bet he's an alcoholic"
Oh come on 3 bottles of cheep burbon is like 60$ a week drinking 5 liters of whiskey a week is nothing like being a drug addict
Alcohol isn’t that expensive, no. But if he’s drinking too much, being too lazy, being hungover, yeah none of that adds up to a successful business person. lol
She said the income was after depreciation. Perhaps he has assets in lieu of income. I want to pay only what I have to in taxes.
@@jasonleatherwood2172 It's not the amount of money spent on alcohol, it's the time spent not working, losing jobs because you don't show up or can't do the work because you're hungover. if a person is drinking a lot, they won't be successful in their trade and the business suffers.
@@jasonleatherwood2172 5 liters of whiskey per week? I don't even know how someone could function drinking that, high tolerance I guess.
Homeless people begging at street corners make more than these “self employed” people.
You say that like it’s a bad thing…she’s a SAHM raising a special needs kid, and she has a side hustle bringing an extra $10K to the family. That’s a great setup (minus the alcoholic husband)
No, I think he is loading his taxes with expenses to show very little income to the IRS. Will he make it through an audit? Probably not. Everything is a write off until you get caught.
Those people are self employed
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@barnabusdoyle4930 Some people whose books I looked at in consideration of making an offer to buy were writing off all kinds of crazy things with their business including quite a few home expenses not remotely related to business. I’m a business owner so I’m not naive I was just cringing the whole time they talked. The business was garbage so I politely declined and also told them if they ever got audited they’d be fuq’d.
Under 10k a year is a hobby, that’s not enough to keep her from moving.
Her autistic son is the main reason, though guessing she's afraid to be alone. She needs therapy.
@@catherinep2034 She's afraid to be alone because she think she needs him financially
@@Arewawife Likely, though depending on degree of his Autism, he might not handle the move well at all. Further stress for her to deal with.
I agree she can get a part time job and easily make more than 10k a year. When her son in school
F that kid. Leave him with his dad and move on.
She must be looking at the tax return after business deductions to say they made 26k. She said they grossed over 200k early in the call.
that is what she said
Exactly...@ 3:21 she said $233,000🤔
Need to call a lawyer not the Ramsey show
And pay with what
She needs a marital counselor
@tonyahenry4167 you’re correct BUT We still need interesting calls to listen to or the show would get boring.
@@ulf5738 m ok Monopoly money 😩
Unbelievable that he has control of 99% of the finances. Scary if something happens to him and she has trouble getting to the accounts.
40 years of marriage. Raised three sons. Basically a stay at home/work from home wife/mother. Husband is primary wage earner. He's great at his job, makes good money, but, since the start of our marriage I've handled the money. The bills, the budget, the investments. He hates that stuff. And it gives me, as one of two partners, a power base. May sound strange, but it's worked for us. FYI, this sounds quite simplistic. Marriage is difficult, managing your finances is even harder. Hang in there, it gets better if you BOTH want it to.
"That's just my opinion, I could be wrong." ~~~ Dennis Miller
However, I bet you are not denying your husband access to the portfolio. He knows the codes, if, not you are happy to provide, even if he checks it once every 6 months the information is not being hidden from him. It's fair to say that if you develop a gambling addiction started using your household money to support that addiction your husband would notice?
Credit card debt can be so crippling to your mental health. Up until 6 months ago I was just like the husband. I was too ashamed to tell my husband how bad things were financially. A couple of times I really felt like ending my life. If I could speak to the husband or to the wife that loves him, I would say just sell your house and use the equity to pay off your credit card debts 100%. Even if you have to rent a room, an apartment, buy a mobile home to house your family, you will sleep much better. Life will not feel so worthless and the god awful feeling of depression will lift. I am praying for this woman and her family’s happiness.
They have $400,000+ equity in their house. SELL IT! Pay your debts and split the rest. Go your separate ways. Your son will adjust to a new home.
This is what she has to do for her son if anything. He will have to get over moving. In the long run this is the right move. Her husband won't work with her so the marriage is over when that happens. He won't even talk about it.
No kids just don’t get over it. You don’t have them do ya
@@katemiller7874 especially not easy with autism. It''s much more a delicate situation. The first step is always the hardest as well. having been in an abusive relationship without children it's not a straight cut as " oh we'll just leave'. christ sake.
That 26k is a bookkeeping thing. It’s after all the deductions, etc. He probably has at least double, but even that is SUPER low for an electrical professional
I don't think this lady is going to file for divorce. Thanks!
So she married him in her 30s and tolerated him not telling her what's going on with the finances? She said married 19 years in their 50s. She was old enough to know to ask a lot of questions when they got married.
Perhaps early on he demonstrated that he was competent.
No spouse should allow themselves to be this comfortable on a relationship. Always be aware of what is going on, you might no the ins and outs but have enough information to comprehend the stage of your finances.
She said he’s going through a mental decline. He could have been completely trust worthy before they became parents. She is clearly in an abusive situation, she might not have realized until recently as it’s escalated. Go easy on her.
I live 40 miles north of Pittsburgh and I have needed a electrician several times and there always $50 a hour self employed. I had one time the electrician had a helper and then it was a $75 a hour.
His business is making over 200K a year she said, BUT he has so much stuff in debt that most of it is going to pay banks for loans. His overhead is enormous amounts of debt!
That is dirt cheap for an electrician, they should be charging a lot more than that.
When Dave isn't in the chair, I like the other hosts, but sometimes they just lame-ass their way through a call without being helpful. She needs to contact each of the three credit bureaus and pull her credit reports to find out exactly what accounts have her name on them. Then contact the IRS and pick the "Innocent Spouse" option in the phone menu. She says he has life insurance, but is she positive that 1) she's the beneficiary and 2) that policy is still in effect? If he's only making the minimums on everything, he may have let that policy lapse. There's no way I would be married to a guy that was so controlling of the money that not only did I not have a bank log in, but my name wasn't even on the account.
You think she gonna get out of this debt free your crazy
@@mjj8560 Just exactly where did I say that? Nowhere, so your reading comprehension needs a little work.. She probably won't get out free and clear, but let her concentrate on just exactly what is *her* responsibility, and right now, she has no clue. Since her husband won't talk to her, she needs to find out how deep he's put her in the hole.
All good advice but you’re a step ahead. She isn’t in the right place for that yet and that was discussed on the call. Her first step is whether it’s ‘me or us’ that are going to take action.
As dave goes, so does the show. When he’s not there it stinks
@@Judep4237 I don't think it's a step ahead at all. She can check her credit reports right now without him knowing it. That'll give her a picture of what kind of shape she's in. How can she possibly deal with "me or us" when she has no idea where she is in the equation?
There's no way they can have a house and a kid and dogs in vehicles and 209,000 in credit card debt and make 36 Grand a year.
Just the credit card minimum payment would be like $3000 a month.
They just need to do some bankruptcy.
The dude's probably drinking because he knows he's under water and his wife is leaving.
Why is no one paying attention? The caller said her husband makes over $200k but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26k. Big difference.
@@Frank-wz4kuwhy you not paying attention. 26k left for all their personal bills. Not much!
"he's a collector"
definitely a hoarder.
Definitely a hoarder and most likely he overpays for everything. He'll probably never sell a thing because whatever price he's offered won't be enough. Been there and its a nightmare.
As soon as she said he's a "collector," I thought, "No, he's a hoarder," and pictured one of those hoarded out houses from the show "Hoarders."
Sounds like Sanford & Son!😅
45 days to get passwords and transparency? Hell no. I would give him 45 minutes at best.
Hahahaha! I loved your comment. So funny!
4 to 5 minutes at best
Jade is the level headed best friend we all wish for.
Thank God I’m single. No debt and no drama!
Get a lawyer / then he will have to disclose what’s happening financially…then sell the house and his crap and take what’s left and get the hell out of that mess…wake up!
I get the sentiment but what about your marriage vows? What about not getting divorced? What about what God says? Serious question.
@@russellmoore5711 he's putting ALL their lives in danger with his behavior. Is she supposed to abandon her kids' future to the whims of an unreasonable man? I'm sure God will understand. You give too much leeway on things that God will understand, like mixing fabrics and eating pork, but a woman is somehow going to hell for this one scam of a vow.
Making under 10k a year is legitimately insane. You could drive Uber less than part time and make more than that…
Right lol, like what motivation could you have for getting out of bed everyday to make nothing
Shes lazy. Hes lazy. Both bone lazy.
@@AngieMcdonald-fu9nhshe has an autistic son that she probably has to take care for full time. So no, she’s not that lazy.
@@gab_saavage my good friend has an autistic son too. Shes worked her way up to executive at an international streaming service you probably subscribe too. And she organises fundraisers for his specialist autism school.
YES the caller is lazy AF.
@@gab_saavagemost people are clueless as to the mental & physical load of that unfortunately.
It’s bad when you’re in debt but it’s made 1000x worse when one spouse stonewalls you. They either have their head in the sand or they won’t talk. That’s so wrong to keep someone imprisoned like that
This is probably just the tip of the iceberg.
Oh it definitely is. Ask me how I know🫠
@@Catlady8 How do you know?
@@Catlady8well?
People run up credit cards for a wide variety of reasons, and then u quickly owe a crazy amount
You can never trust an addict
Amen
Gus Fring. Breaking bad.
@@Ryan_DeWitt boom, a man of fine taste in shows I see!
This is why we go over the budget together every week. We do it weekly because we get a paycheck every week. When we are done with B2, we will reevaluate our budget.
200K credit card debt?????!!!!!.....what are they buying?
Booze
She said he has a collection. So I would guess junk and beer.
She said they’re living off of them. You can rack it real quick that way.
House payment month to month.
No plan
Sell the houses and items. Buy a cheaper house with cash. Pay off cc remaining cash work on make a budget . Must increase your income
Hpw much ypu wanna bet theyre in tax trouble, too?
Guarantee they are. I looked up in my local property records and found people in my extended family and friends who had IRS liens against their assets. You would have never guessed they’re the type to get behind on taxes but they did. 100% this guy is behind on taxes, especially since he’s self employed.
@@DewTimeThe number of friends, family, or just community members who are living a sham, propped up by debt and smoke & mirrors, is scary.
The way they spend money they may not be . Most likely tax fraud no way they can afford 700k home any make the payments on home and minimum payments on car and credit card debt.
@@DewTimewhat an odd thing to do
@@OopThereItIs77777 I do what I please, regardless of how odd someone finds it.
I have no sympathy for people who make bad financial decisions, who are married, and refuse to even have conversations or work at it. You aren’t just hurting yourself, you are hurting your family. It’s selfish and immature. I had depression n I drank, but I didn’t mess up my wife’s finances, i didn’t run away from responsibility. Zero sympathy!
That’s nothing to brag about
@@KiingM having no sympathy is nothing to brag about! What’s it like being perfect and not having flaws or making any mistakes?
@@ericar.6370 haha you think that’s bragging? That’s just an opinion. If you don’t want people to have opinions maybe don’t read comment sections… no one is perfect but everyone has their line, and that’s mine. Sorry if that offends you
@@KiingM it doesn’t offend me, it’s just a harsh take and shows a lack of empathy. If that’s your line you’ve led a blessed and sheltered life considering the truly horrible things humans beings can really do to each other.
@@KiingM No, thanks. I don’t have to explain anything. Good on you for judging others and being without flaws and having no lessons to learn. Bless your heart! 🙏🏾
An electrician only making 26k, on 233k gross?
That does not sound right.
That is what the IRS is gonna say also
That’s taxable with depreciation and things. Not hard to reduce taxable well below profits with that. He could be actually profiting 2-3 times that easily… or that could be pretty close to his actual profit.
@@adamseidel9780 depreciation of what?
You use that for tools and cars as a tax write off, to lower your taxes. Not to lower your pay.
@@adamseidel9780 11% is not his profit.
It’s called being a business owner with tax write offs.. W-2’s would never understand
Delony would tell her she's not safe and should get out NOW.
And is she tired?
Or breathe
They need regular jobs...& probably bankruptcy
Sounds reasonable.
House is worth 700k, and they owe 243k
What’s he threatening her with? That’s what I want to know. Rachel and Jade never asked
This guy has to be on other drugs or has another family across town!
more common than you think
Enormous collections of “things” = hoarding
Good God how do you put 200k on a damn card 😂
A few dollars at the time.
Living in a dream world
I always ask myself the same thing smh....when I see $1000 on my cc my eyes start twitching😂😂😂
Not on one damn card, but on many damn cards.
@@omarilindo968😂
I like how she said that he has a life insurance policy and then immediately said he's "not mentally well". I dunno, just alarm bells there, but lady, you don't get a payout if he offs himself.
This is a really hard situation because she has to look out for her special needs child before anything and can’t simply separate from her husband and cause significant change in the world of that child
My son has severe autism and I still left my home and husband. They do survive.
He will get over it. I think the bigger roadblock is the fact that her income is on that property. My autistic kids dealt with my split from their father.
I don't think staying there is good for the child.
Depreciation is not a cash outflow.
Why would anyone agree to not be on bank accounts and any other legal issue?
married 19 years & she was in the dark on their finances- why? Now she is wondering what to do? Also- I own a business & I never mix my personal with my business account. She may find she is just scratching the surface with the hole he has dug!
She said after the depreciation and everything. The books net revenue that is then taxable is very different from the cash balance and cash outlay.
Still a bad situation but no way are they living off of 26K
This guy should make 200k a year.. she, on the other hand, needs a real job, not a 10k hobby. She made a bad choice marrying this guy, that part is clear. Personally, I'd leave and start over.
She does have a 'real job.' Did you miss the part where she's the primary caregiver for their special-needs son? That $10k is a side hustle that she makes working from home. You also missed the part where she said he makes $233k a year, but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26k.
@@Frank-wz4kuthat sounds like tax evasion
@@BlueDauntless Not my problem. Report it to the IRS if you think it's tax evasion. He's a business owner, so if he's claiming depreciation, it may well not be tax evasion. Honestly, I think he's doing something shady, but again, it's not my problem.
I didnt even know people could put that much on a credit card. How did they get that limit with such low incomes?
His business
These room mates need to be transparent with everything and work together as one. Truly not married, only on paper.
It’s a bit dark, but I’m pretty sure her best option is that life insurance policy 😬
These folks need to go get real jobs quickly and give up on their low paying businesses, and/or sell the house to. pay off their debt!
How is $200k+ a "low-paying business"? The caller said her husband makes that much, but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26K. Big difference.
@@Frank-wz4kuTax evasion
Alcohol is a depressant. In school, they taught us that so we wouldn't use if were already depressed
How easy and useless to say that if you aren't in the problem
@@paolaristori6179 yup, all well and good to say that without understanding addiction and mental health lol
As Dave would say, "you're spending like you're in congress!!!😮😮
Ok her “business from home” is a hobby that brings in about $9/hr, if she’s bringing in $10,000/year and only working the hours her son is in school (assuming 185 days of school, 6 hours each day). She needs to get a part time job elsewhere that brings in $20+/hr not $9/hr that keeps her stuck at the house where all the equipment is.
And who is watching her kid? She’d lose money paying someone to do it.
209k in CC debt and business income is 30k after everything, 29% apr on CC debt means that 30k gain could be 90k if there was no interest expense.
Takes a special, or desperate person to finance a business at 30%. All profit is gone at that rate.
“Hoarding? No. Just huge collections of things.” If you’re in debt, your “huge collections” are hoarding - especially if you’re so emotionally invested in them that you can’t consider selling them to ensure your family’s financial security.
Why would she not be involved for that long?
Yeahhhh.....combining the finances and not sharing them....feels like a big nono
They cannot even pay their credit cards on what she just said!
I think this lady needs to go find herself a divorce attorney.
Yeah there are PLENTY of alternative options than owning two companies for a combines 35k annually especially with that much debt and a child
Why is no one paying attention? The caller said her husband makes over $200k but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26k, probably with a little creative accounting. Big difference.
26000 electrical contractor doesn’t add up
Not going to end well, had a similar situation. As the alcoholic gets older the drinking gets worse. Multiple ER visits, then death. Then try to uncover the financial mess that was left behind.
Ohhh mercy!!! She needs to get the heck out of this. What a disaster.
I love Rachel's tragedy face xD
She gave crappy advice on this call though
I wish I could have heard Dave handle this call. This advice was not helpful. Giving an ultimatum to someone that controlling is only going to escalate the problem. There’s more going on here.
This situation is beyond even Dave. She doesn't have all the information and even if she did this is way too much. She needs to consult a lawyer.
Sinking ship! Warning. When you find out about finances instead of being told, there is so much more you will never know. I found out about an extra mortgage, money being given to others, money being diverted before it appears on a paycheck, phones that never come in the house, etc. She should order the tax transcripts, get a separate bank account, and find a job asap. If he feels found out he will abandon ship or make attempts to control the ship even tighter. There is no winning with relationships that have come to this point. Separation and moving forward before things get worse.
There’s enough equity in the house that she can cover her half and some if she walks away.
He should be making $100,000.
He is just not declaring all income. No way they have a 700k home and they are both delusional with her only making 10k even with a special needs child.🤔
Sadly you can never make enough to out earn your credit card debt. I think they should just sell the house and be done with all that credit card debt. Maybe then he’ll be in a better mental state to realize he can earn a six figure income. Wishing for the best for this couple .
With what I know-Electrician makes (experienced) 80k-90k PLUS some side gigs $$$$ (12k). 100,000.00 sounds right!!!
What kind of business grosses over 200k just to come back with 26k net? Why have a business at that point? Just to say you’re a business owner? He’s better off working at Mc Donald’s at this point.
I’m betting there are a lot of “beverage“ expenses for this business
That actually doesn't make any sense. The wife is catastrophizing. They live in a 700k house and owe less than 300k, that's a lot of money they have. Husband brings in 250k+ as a sole proprietor, he probably writes off their house and cars and does more clever tax work arounds to say he only brings in 25k. The credit card debt is bad but according to her, the husband is keeping up with the payments.
Shes a scheming boat anchor..
@@kdc3065 you’re crazy if you think 200k debt is anything but bad. There’s no way you can compensate it.
Business owners get a lot of tax deductions. With a little creative accounting and all the deductions and loopholes available to a business owner, they can reduce a $230k gross to end up paying taxes on only $26k. That doesn't mean that's all the money he has. That's just the amount of money he paid taxes on.
Most contractors dont have a business
They have a job
Truth.
Michael Gerber describes it as owning your own job. Myself included
@@davidwright9166 The "E" Myth? 🤔
@@JakeStewart1343 i believe so
Rule one of having your own business is too keep everything separate from personal accounts. From what I've seen business owners who combined personal and business accounts waste a lot of money.
It’s also a nightmare for the person doing their taxes. And it will be worse when he’s audited.
The Spender who controls all the access to the accounts, has secret accounts & secret credit cards. Ahhhh, I know it well. Now I’m thinking does my husband have a secret life with this lady bc our situations are shockingly similar???🙃 Financial abuse is a form of psychological abuse and they refuse to answer ANY questions or transparency about the money. I’m 60 and going thru the same thing after 27 years of marriage and 2 kids. I have finally chosen the option to get out before I’m an old penniless lady living in a box on the side of the road. Sadly when you’re busy raising kids you think you can trust your spouse to have your best interest but sadly it’s not always true. You will regret the day you turned over the handling of the finances solely to one party.
This kind of stuff leads to divorce what a headache dealing with someone like this
What does " he blows up" mean?
I’m sorry Ann. What a terrible situation. 😕🙁
Go for 500k , enjoy!
The greatest duo Ramsey has to offer if Dave is off for the day!
I get tense when I have $200.00 on my credit card!
I don't understand how he's only making $26K as an electrician in Pittsburgh. (Even electrician apprentices make more than that.) The demand for electricians is high and most self-employed electricians can set their own rates.
He grosses $230k. But he’s only reporting $26k as income.
It sounds like tax evasion. Some of those business deductions are legit. I guarantee others are not. And he mixes his business and personal accounts, so it’s all a mess.
He's hiding something...no way his overhead should be that high with no employees.
If they file a joint federal tax return and the money is co-mingled she can get stuck on the tax as well, however, in their circumstances I would think the tax is not that great. I think that there was a case years ago where a debtor argued that his creditor should have known better than to loan him so much money. He lost. However, that argument should be raised again since loaning him so much money on so little income is reckless.
She mentioned a collection of stamps and other stuff.
Sell it. I collect coins, but have no problem selling pieces when they no longer please me or I can allocate the money better elsewhere. Stamps are a dead end investment anyway. Interest is plummeting in everything but the rarest pieces. I see whole estate collections selling for $100 because no one under 50 wants the stuff any more.
She said he's a big collector. I heard he's a big 'hoarder.'
40k combined income and a total credit card debt of 209k of which 40k is through the business credit card debt. Leaves 160k in personal credit vard debt left. How the hell can you get into 160k unsecured credit with an income of just 40k? Completely mad house. How can credit card companies allow this to pile up? There is no way they can pay this debt off without selling the house. Stupidity at the highest level🤦🏻♂️ As an outsider, I was always wondering why the average American has a couple of credit cards in their wallet? Some people are living in a dream. 🤦🏻♂️
The caller said her husband makes over $200k, but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26k. Big difference.
Based on the limited info presented here, I do not see how you can come to that conclusion
If that lady came to me and asked for help, I'd be like both go to counseling NOW. Total access to all financials NOW. Pull credit reports and IRS tax filing history NOW. May as well look at his phone history while she's at it, if he successfully hid $200K in credit card debt I'm sure she missed other things as well. Personally,if he didn't agree to all terms I'd be hitting my attorney's office. You can never catch up when someone is determined to bury your family.
he threatened to leave, he threatened to stay. Everything is a threat, unless he pays. Roses are red and love is fake, a wedding is just a funeral with cake
how is it you're not holding her accountable of not wishing to llok at finances for 19 years and bringning only $10k annually?
@Aristaifly well I just listed everything she needs to do which she didn't do. And since he hid all that $ she'll be working until she's elderly at this rate so...
I honestly wonder if he has women on the side. I hate to think that, but Electricians make great money. I wonder if he is just telling her they “don’t make a lot” so then she won’t find out there was more to begin with and maybe he is using the money in some unholy way with women left and right. If she “isn’t allowed” to see the money something shady is clearly going on. My heart breaks for her either way.
He isn’t behaving like a true partner would. Marriage is being 100% honest in all things, and at all times. Being poor is not a marriage breaker, it’s the hiding stuff that is the issue. (For richer for poorer? Remember that phrase?) Suddenly everyone forgets the “poorer” part of that phrase when they get themselves in a financial mess. The real issue is being able to work together and not have only one of them doing the heavy lifting. It isn’t fair for her. I would definitely counsel them to get jobs to increase the income for sure though. That would alleviate some stress.
They could both flip burgers 30 hours a week and nearly double their income. Their income situation is ridiculous and inefficient
They're not going to make over $200k flipping burgers. Is no one paying attention? The caller said her husband makes over $230k but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26k. Big difference.
Hubby has Asperger's - He's autistic too with OCD and controlling behavior. She can open up her own bank account. Why is she being so dependent and acting the victim?
That much debt could mean a gambling or drug addiction.
I would have loved to see how Dr. John would have handled this call. I suspect he would not have mentioned the finances as much and speak on their marriage. This should be a call redirected to John’s show
The fact that he's hiding all of this stuff from her, I agree that he's being financially abusive....not just towards her, but also towards their son. Money only goes so far before it runs out, and that could dramatically affect their son, providing even less stability that their son needs.
< $40,000 from two adult incomes. They'd be better off getting fast food jobs.
$36k income with $209k in credit cards, and they have the nerve to call their son special needs?
Right!
Lmao
I guess the apple didn't fall too far from the tree ...
Ken: are you safe??
There is no shortage of Captain-save-a-ho'ism on this channel.
I thought that was John
26k is what is he "claiming" to the IRS she said he grossed mid 200s no way he is only netting roughly 10%. Id imagine he is hiding some cash inflow as well since he is an independent contractor basically. Is he in a tight spot? for sure, you cant be in 200k of credit card debt and be good. But 36k is definitely not what they are actually living on. IMO. Lady called in and definitely doesn't have the whole picture of their finances that is step one. No way they would get 200k in credit card loans with a house worth 700 on 34k earnings. I believe she is a little ignorant to their finances and always has been now Shes getting nosey (as she should be) and the guy is getting frustrated.
That’s only going to fly with the IRS for so long. They’ll audit him eventually. And then they’re really screwed.
Why do no gay/lesbian couples ever call into this show? Serious question.
love the passion