I’m crying with you, you told my story too, word for word. I’m 35 now, moved on and forgiven, but I mourn the lost potential of me. I loved science and biology, I was so good at it, I could have been great, could have done good things. But when you’re fighting to find the will to even remain in this realm day in day out and the pain of existing is excruciating, school work and good decisions take the back burner. And it breaks my heart knowing there are thousands of kids now in this moment feeling worthless and unseen and I don’t know how to help. How to be the person I needed most
Hi girl I feel you and you know what ? People with a history of weight problems are the best people. They are the deepest the most commassionate and the most mature. I got into amazing shape after 30 after being fat my whole life and NOW I know exactly how to judge other peopele. I can see in a blind of an eye the type of people who will like you only if you're super hot and I call them out for it. All of this gave you the chance to grow and as sad as it is this is what will make you unstopble if you don't give up you go girl I wish you the best❤❤
Kid or not no one should be commenting on other peoples size or body. It’s one thing if you are a doctor trying to help. But someone struggling with weight doesn’t need commentary from random people. It’s associated with many different health problems and medicines and trauma. My weights fluctuates and it’s awful how people cross boundaries
Absolutely!!! Also some Drs shouldn't be listened to either. Some like to blame everything on weight. My mom's old primary Dr said her shoulder popping out of joint constantly and hurting a lot was due to her weight when it's not she don't carry her weight there so no ...
I applaud you , and I respect the fact that you are trying to help younger people, I'm older than you i'm 34 years old and I was as lost as you during my teenage years and even in my twenties, I can tell you something you gonna make it everything you've been through is going to help be a greater person in every aspect possible , you are already an inspiring person, keep going keep fighting ❤️
It's honestly weird how comfortable boomers are making comments about people's size. I was 300lbs and another time at 160lbs and I got comments about being too fat and then too skinny and that I looked sick. There is no please people.
Thank you for posting this. It takes lots of confidence and strength to be this vulnerable. Although I never had any medical factors that caused me to be overweight, I was by the time I was in 3rd grade and was known as the fat, awkward girl up until graduation. I ate what i wanted whenever ( no restrictions or portion control whatsoever) and my family didn't care about eating healthy. I didn't understand much about eating healthy and thought it was optional. I remember hearing strangers in public make comments about my weight several different times. I experienced some bullying and eventually isolated myself because I believed people didn't like me. I felt super lonely and depressed. I went on keto in 2019 and lost 40 pounds at 22 years old and never went back to being overweight since. If I could go back in time I would tell myself my worth was never attached to my weight.
I’m currently on a social media break as a plus size influencer due to a lot of comments on my weight and just overall how I’m feeling mentally. I’ve been obese since childhood as well and nobody really considers what the kids go through!! I feel like seeing this video was a sign. And I really needed to hear this because I relate to this so often. To this day, I still hear the “you’d be so much prettier if you lost weight.” And it sucks so bad. Body shamed by doctors, teachers, family friends, everything. I fully relate to your story and I’m thankful I saw this video. Thank you for speaking up and putting out such a raw video. 🩷
I feel you so strongly on the loss of potential due to a wasted youth but girl, you are still so young and you have so much life to make whatever you want to make of yourself. Your story hit so close to home for me but I know damn sure that we can change for the better💛
I’ve never seen a video of someone describing my entire adolescence so perfectly. You’re great at expressing those feelings and thoughts even from a young age.
I'm glad you have this outlet that makes you feel happy, while helping us (me) feel like we are not alone. Wow, over 100 subscribers... congrats! Keep on investing in yourself! My insecurities have changes with every life event, but they all come from not wanting to fail. I worry about the "what ifs" way too much. I'll be here for the next video.
A insecurity I got over over time was being hairy being called werewolf in high school or deciding to stop tanning or dyeing my hair.If we think about there will always to one thing people don't like.There are very miscular men that women don't like.
Thank you for sharing! Thyroid problems can be so frustrating to deal with! Thank you for taking time out of your day to watch my video and to comment.
Hanah, you are so courageous and strong. Your reflections, awareness, honesty, and vulnerability are a testament to your strength and your potential for even more growth. I am so excited to see your growth through your channel, and hopefully it brings what you need, and closer to who you want to become. You got me crying girl!!! I believe in you!!!
Hope you felt good afterwards of getting this out.Hope your having a good day also.I can understand spending alot of time at a gym.But I was able to get equipment together at home for a gym but also tried a gym close to home.
This is exactly what I'm experiencing, from my environment to my family. I had pcos since I was 9, when I turned 17 I went back to find out I didn’t have it apparently,but I still have hyperinsulinemia,the irregular periods were awful ,I lost 20 lbs, but I am still up there, so pleasee don’t get discouraged! People don’t and can’t understand unless they’re going through it. Sadly, in this world, it’s based on misinformation and complex interpretations. "Family," the ones who are supposed to be there for you, want you to lose weight but at the same time can’t even cook healthy meals. How does that work? So, hun, I just wanted to let you know I am with you in everything you said. 💗💗💗
Thanks for being open and honest! I have a super similar life experience, PCOS, insulin resistance, possible hyperthyroidism. 😬 it’s not easy, but it makes things better knowing I’m not alone, just started keto and it seems to be helping 🤗
Sorry about all the childhood trauma. That sucks. Glad that now as an adult you are aware that you have the control and blaming other people won’t fix anything
You're not alone. Definitely older than you. Grew up in a generation where bullying was fine. I feel everything you're saying so hard and I'm almost 40. I'm only just now starting to love myself but every day is a struggle. The ONLY time in my life I was "thin" was when I got my 1st job in high school. Physical labor 4 hours a day. It eviscerated my appetite, worked there 3 years. Had maybe a half sandwich and water per day - but I never got below a size 10. My family is also very divided between obese versus naturally skinny. If physical labor 4 hours a day for 3 years and maybe 600 calories a day couldn't get me smaller than a size 10 - you cannot tell me genetics don't play a role. If I exercise daily as an adult I'm still never below a 16.
It was a grandma for me. Every Christmas and birthday I'd get clothes 3 sizes too small. Told me my face was pretty enough to model, but that I could never because I was fat. Compared me to my skinny cousins. The list goes on.
omg i thought i was the only one who was a bit hesitent to keep going on my weight loss journey because the thought of losing my fat would make me lose a part of my identity since ive also struggled with it my entire life. I don't know. It just doesn't feel right to think of myself as skinny. But im gonna keep pushing
Same. Nothing like hearing that I was too fat by my own Dad and others growing up. Mom had an eating disorder which eventually killed her. I grew up with huge shame of my body. My body was my identity. You are so relatable.
Yeah my dad never used the word "fat" but he would always say I needed to diet and stuff and instead of helping that just made things worse. That's why I tell people that bullying people for their weight/looks won't help anything it worsens it. So if they want to "help" like they always say they do they need to stop the commenting on weight. Shame fixes nothing for most people
I feel for you and as someone who is 46 and had PCOS - you are right about living life. I also think (similar to the book written by Abigal Schrier Bad Therapy) that the more we ruminate - it actually puts us in a worst mental state (there are some studies that suggest similar). Find a tribe of folks that get you - and live. You can't change the past, you can't compare the what could have been - it is thief of happiness.
Hanah I can relate to almost everything you said. I feel like my entire childhood and teenagehood was hell (despite growing up privileged) because of my weight problem. Just like for you, my grandmother was my worst bully. 💔
Welp you and I have had a very similar experience. Growing up I remember thinking I was fat when I was in 2nd grade. I was told from a veryyyy young age I had chubby cheeks, chubby fingers, swimmers shoulders and birthing hips! Birthing hips! from the time I was basically 10 🤮 I have hated my body my entire life. It was tough hearing from your own dad that you’re getting “big” It’s so frustrating because I was just as active and ate the same way as my sister and she was skinny. I thinned out when I hit puberty but I still felt and saw myself as a “whale” and called my own legs tree trunks. I have a picture of me covering myself in a bathing suit when I was 14 and looking at the picture now, i looked great!! but I didn’t think so at the time. When college hit I had more freedom over what I ate and I went crazy. I thought I was fat anyway what did it matter. I just ate what I wanted and I put on a ton of weight. At some point I snapped and started working out at least 2 hours a day 6-7 days a week and would try to make myself sick 🤢 when I ate anything off plan. So I lost a ton of weight and I kept it off for years but at some point I went back to the other extreme and became sedentary and wayy overeating. And now at 30 I’m still struggling to learn what a healthy diet/exercise routine looks like and I still hate myself. It’s exhausting.
OK, I’m a little confused. If you had no adults to look after you, were you in the state system? Who were you living with? Also, I’m glad you’ve started your health journey as it is important and I don’t think you should take comments from Drs too personally as they are going off of medical evidence. I too have PCOS and it’s never stopped me from losing weight - it’s a fairly common thing for women. Obviously you have your own hormonal stuff going on but if you get your weight under control as you are aiming to do then hopefully that will ease. Your weight isn’t you - it’s just an aspect of you.
Kids should never be made to feel less than and alone when it should be the exact opposite and sadly it continues to this day which is unfair. You miss out on so many what ifs and what life would have been like if you had been accepted in society but in truth there will always be a flaw because the system is rigged. You really will only have yourself.
I’m crying with you, you told my story too, word for word.
I’m 35 now, moved on and forgiven, but I mourn the lost potential of me. I loved science and biology, I was so good at it, I could have been great, could have done good things. But when you’re fighting to find the will to even remain in this realm day in day out and the pain of existing is excruciating, school work and good decisions take the back burner.
And it breaks my heart knowing there are thousands of kids now in this moment feeling worthless and unseen and I don’t know how to help. How to be the person I needed most
Hi girl I feel you and you know what ? People with a history of weight problems are the best people. They are the deepest the most commassionate and the most mature. I got into amazing shape after 30 after being fat my whole life and NOW I know exactly how to judge other peopele. I can see in a blind of an eye the type of people who will like you only if you're super hot and I call them out for it. All of this gave you the chance to grow and as sad as it is this is what will make you unstopble if you don't give up you go girl I wish you the best❤❤
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Kid or not no one should be commenting on other peoples size or body. It’s one thing if you are a doctor trying to help. But someone struggling with weight doesn’t need commentary from random people. It’s associated with many different health problems and medicines and trauma. My weights fluctuates and it’s awful how people cross boundaries
YES! 👏🏻
you really wouldn't want to grow up in eastern europe lol. every family member comments on your body every time they see you
Absolutely!!! Also some Drs shouldn't be listened to either. Some like to blame everything on weight. My mom's old primary Dr said her shoulder popping out of joint constantly and hurting a lot was due to her weight when it's not she don't carry her weight there so no ...
I applaud you , and I respect the fact that you are trying to help younger people, I'm older than you i'm 34 years old and I was as lost as you during my teenage years and even in my twenties, I can tell you something you gonna make it everything you've been through is going to help be a greater person in every aspect possible , you are already an inspiring person, keep going keep fighting ❤️
A couple of classmates asked me if I was pregnant when I was 10 and since then I've been struggling the same way. I feel for you
God kids can be cruel! But also WTH 🤦♀️
It's honestly weird how comfortable boomers are making comments about people's size. I was 300lbs and another time at 160lbs and I got comments about being too fat and then too skinny and that I looked sick. There is no please people.
Thank you for posting this. It takes lots of confidence and strength to be this vulnerable. Although I never had any medical factors that caused me to be overweight, I was by the time I was in 3rd grade and was known as the fat, awkward girl up until graduation. I ate what i wanted whenever ( no restrictions or portion control whatsoever) and my family didn't care about eating healthy. I didn't understand much about eating healthy and thought it was optional. I remember hearing strangers in public make comments about my weight several different times. I experienced some bullying and eventually isolated myself because I believed people didn't like me. I felt super lonely and depressed. I went on keto in 2019 and lost 40 pounds at 22 years old and never went back to being overweight since. If I could go back in time I would tell myself my worth was never attached to my weight.
I’m currently on a social media break as a plus size influencer due to a lot of comments on my weight and just overall how I’m feeling mentally. I’ve been obese since childhood as well and nobody really considers what the kids go through!!
I feel like seeing this video was a sign. And I really needed to hear this because I relate to this so often. To this day, I still hear the “you’d be so much prettier if you lost weight.” And it sucks so bad. Body shamed by doctors, teachers, family friends, everything. I fully relate to your story and I’m thankful I saw this video. Thank you for speaking up and putting out such a raw video. 🩷
Thank you for sharing this with me! People hate what they don’t understand.
I will defiantly be following you! Us girlies need to stick together.
I'm so so sorry
I feel you so strongly on the loss of potential due to a wasted youth but girl, you are still so young and you have so much life to make whatever you want to make of yourself. Your story hit so close to home for me but I know damn sure that we can change for the better💛
I’ve never seen a video of someone describing my entire adolescence so perfectly. You’re great at expressing those feelings and thoughts even from a young age.
I'm glad you have this outlet that makes you feel happy, while helping us (me) feel like we are not alone. Wow, over 100 subscribers... congrats!
Keep on investing in yourself!
My insecurities have changes with every life event, but they all come from not wanting to fail. I worry about the "what ifs" way too much.
I'll be here for the next video.
“I’m really good at repressing my emotions” got me
A insecurity I got over over time was being hairy being called werewolf in high school or deciding to stop tanning or dyeing my hair.If we think about there will always to one thing people don't like.There are very miscular men that women don't like.
Hey girly
Thank you for sharing! Thyroid problems can be so frustrating to deal with! Thank you for taking time out of your day to watch my video and to comment.
Hanah, you are so courageous and strong. Your reflections, awareness, honesty, and vulnerability are a testament to your strength and your potential for even more growth. I am so excited to see your growth through your channel, and hopefully it brings what you need, and closer to who you want to become.
You got me crying girl!!! I believe in you!!!
Thank you for your comment!!! I hope you enjoyed my video and come back for more ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hope you felt good afterwards of getting this out.Hope your having a good day also.I can understand spending alot of time at a gym.But I was able to get equipment together at home for a gym but also tried a gym close to home.
This is exactly what I'm experiencing, from my environment to my family. I had pcos since I was 9, when I turned 17 I went back to find out I didn’t have it apparently,but I still have hyperinsulinemia,the irregular periods were awful ,I lost 20 lbs, but I am still up there, so pleasee don’t get discouraged! People don’t and can’t understand unless they’re going through it. Sadly, in this world, it’s based on misinformation and complex interpretations. "Family," the ones who are supposed to be there for you, want you to lose weight but at the same time can’t even cook healthy meals. How does that work? So, hun, I just wanted to let you know I am with you in everything you said. 💗💗💗
Thanks for being open and honest! I have a super similar life experience, PCOS, insulin resistance, possible hyperthyroidism. 😬 it’s not easy, but it makes things better knowing I’m not alone, just started keto and it seems to be helping 🤗
Keep me updated on your Keto journey! I’m trying a high fat diet now to see if it helps with my energy
Your masking comment is so relatable. I relate to you so much.
Sorry about all the childhood trauma. That sucks. Glad that now as an adult you are aware that you have the control and blaming other people won’t fix anything
You're not alone. Definitely older than you. Grew up in a generation where bullying was fine. I feel everything you're saying so hard and I'm almost 40. I'm only just now starting to love myself but every day is a struggle. The ONLY time in my life I was "thin" was when I got my 1st job in high school. Physical labor 4 hours a day. It eviscerated my appetite, worked there 3 years. Had maybe a half sandwich and water per day - but I never got below a size 10. My family is also very divided between obese versus naturally skinny. If physical labor 4 hours a day for 3 years and maybe 600 calories a day couldn't get me smaller than a size 10 - you cannot tell me genetics don't play a role. If I exercise daily as an adult I'm still never below a 16.
It was a grandma for me. Every Christmas and birthday I'd get clothes 3 sizes too small. Told me my face was pretty enough to model, but that I could never because I was fat. Compared me to my skinny cousins. The list goes on.
Oh I know that list pretty well. No one should have to go through that.
omg i thought i was the only one who was a bit hesitent to keep going on my weight loss journey because the thought of losing my fat would make me lose a part of my identity since ive also struggled with it my entire life. I don't know. It just doesn't feel right to think of myself as skinny. But im gonna keep pushing
Same. Nothing like hearing that I was too fat by my own Dad and others growing up. Mom had an eating disorder which eventually killed her. I grew up with huge shame of my body. My body was my identity. You are so relatable.
I’m so sorry. It’s not easy growing up in that environment.
Yeah my dad never used the word "fat" but he would always say I needed to diet and stuff and instead of helping that just made things worse. That's why I tell people that bullying people for their weight/looks won't help anything it worsens it. So if they want to "help" like they always say they do they need to stop the commenting on weight. Shame fixes nothing for most people
hey girlie im not exactly on the same boat as you but a very similar one rnn. Keep going ill be rooting for u!
❤❤❤
10 k steps a day. Walking at 3 on treadmill for 2 hours with my headphones and a movie or music worked. Do it for 3 months.
I’m sorry you experienced this. I’ve been listening to “the school of self image” podcast and I think you might like it.
I feel for you and as someone who is 46 and had PCOS - you are right about living life. I also think (similar to the book written by Abigal Schrier Bad Therapy) that the more we ruminate - it actually puts us in a worst mental state (there are some studies that suggest similar). Find a tribe of folks that get you - and live. You can't change the past, you can't compare the what could have been - it is thief of happiness.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
I can relate to you on so many levels. Thank you for sharing x
Hanah I can relate to almost everything you said. I feel like my entire childhood and teenagehood was hell (despite growing up privileged) because of my weight problem. Just like for you, my grandmother was my worst bully. 💔
I resonate with you so much ❤
💕💕💕
never too late
Relatable ❤️😔
this is so relatable! thank you so much for sharing!!!! 💖💖💖
Welp you and I have had a very similar experience. Growing up I remember thinking I was fat when I was in 2nd grade. I was told from a veryyyy young age I had chubby cheeks, chubby fingers, swimmers shoulders and birthing hips! Birthing hips! from the time I was basically 10 🤮 I have hated my body my entire life. It was tough hearing from your own dad that you’re getting “big” It’s so frustrating because I was just as active and ate the same way as my sister and she was skinny. I thinned out when I hit puberty but I still felt and saw myself as a “whale” and called my own legs tree trunks. I have a picture of me covering myself in a bathing suit when I was 14 and looking at the picture now, i looked great!! but I didn’t think so at the time. When college hit I had more freedom over what I ate and I went crazy. I thought I was fat anyway what did it matter. I just ate what I wanted and I put on a ton of weight. At some point I snapped and started working out at least 2 hours a day 6-7 days a week and would try to make myself sick 🤢 when I ate anything off plan. So I lost a ton of weight and I kept it off for years but at some point I went back to the other extreme and became sedentary and wayy overeating. And now at 30 I’m still struggling to learn what a healthy diet/exercise routine looks like and I still hate myself. It’s exhausting.
OK, I’m a little confused. If you had no adults to look after you, were you in the state system? Who were you living with? Also, I’m glad you’ve started your health journey as it is important and I don’t think you should take comments from Drs too personally as they are going off of medical evidence. I too have PCOS and it’s never stopped me from losing weight - it’s a fairly common thing for women. Obviously you have your own hormonal stuff going on but if you get your weight under control as you are aiming to do then hopefully that will ease. Your weight isn’t you - it’s just an aspect of you.
Kids should never be made to feel less than and alone when it should be the exact opposite and sadly it continues to this day which is unfair. You miss out on so many what ifs and what life would have been like if you had been accepted in society but in truth there will always be a flaw because the system is rigged. You really will only have yourself.
I also didn't go to my graduation because of being insecure about being big. 😞
sending love
Use my background music