Sex, According To Comedians

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  • Опубликовано: 26 сен 2024
  • Class is in session. Sex stories from comedians that might teach you a thing or two.
    Comedian Lineup:
    Ms. Pat: Y'all Wanna Hear Something Crazy?
    The Standups Season 3: Janelle James
    The Standups Season 3: Mark Normand
    Russell Howard: Recalibrate
    Nikki Glaser: Bangin’
    Russell Howard: Lubricant
    Maria Bamford: Old Baby
    #ValentinesDay #SexStories #StandupComedy
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Комментарии • 353

  • @SeanessyTheKing
    @SeanessyTheKing Год назад +258

    I have to applaud Ms. Pat. Whether one thinks it’s appropriate or funny…To be able to turn such a trauma into something so powerfully moving to disturb and entertain is artistic. It sounds like she’s “just telling a story” but she really crafted it well.
    As someone who processes his pain through comedy I am truly inspired!

  • @dominicbodkin739
    @dominicbodkin739 2 года назад +963

    Got here, didn't know what to expect but this first story is wild

    • @yokonono2171
      @yokonono2171 2 года назад +1

      yeah its so fucked up wtf

    • @Rabdom50
      @Rabdom50 2 года назад +3

      Saaaame

    • @vyper1126
      @vyper1126 2 года назад +16

      yo fr im 90 secs in dying

    • @xawsum1x979
      @xawsum1x979 2 года назад

      Sounds like low-key pedophilia

    • @rockmyworldmusic
      @rockmyworldmusic 2 года назад +10

      In there kangarooing the Kitty cat!

  • @MitchDarrell
    @MitchDarrell 2 года назад +1113

    Yo SOMEONE needs to go to jail for that first story 😂😂😂😂

    • @Poppa_Capinyoaz
      @Poppa_Capinyoaz 2 года назад

      Nah, the woman talking about twanging her son's cock...that bitch needs locking up.

    • @toribluemisthaven4496
      @toribluemisthaven4496 2 года назад +5

      Lighten up, man.

    • @skribulz7
      @skribulz7 2 года назад +115

      @@toribluemisthaven4496 if you know who Ms. Pat is, you know nothing she says is a “joke”. She’s making light of true stories so it’s really okay for people to be horrified.

    • @godlytyungodly
      @godlytyungodly 2 года назад +23

      sum of this shit was weird

    • @pw6160
      @pw6160 2 года назад +62

      RIGHT?! THAT WAS DISTURBING AF!!😣

  • @Kayboo730
    @Kayboo730 2 года назад +132

    I wasn’t sure about Russell at first, but he won me over when he said “a vagina should taste like a vagina” 🤘

  • @seanelsenbroek7530
    @seanelsenbroek7530 2 года назад +459

    Amazing how ms pat can tell a story that most would find disturbing and make it funny. That is talent!

    • @ceceliam9014
      @ceceliam9014 2 года назад +72

      It was still very very disturbing.

    • @liyahlewis3696
      @liyahlewis3696 2 года назад +35

      @@ceceliam9014 same I was uncomfortable the entire story

    • @pw6160
      @pw6160 2 года назад +16

      What was funny about that?!

    • @djloften
      @djloften 2 года назад +1

      I agree😅😅😅

    • @CG-lz7qj
      @CG-lz7qj Год назад +4

      For real. She’s so underrated. She has a way of making something super disturbing that I would normally cry over, fucking hilarious.

  • @cloudgoddesscosplay3389
    @cloudgoddesscosplay3389 2 года назад +183

    The whole bit comparing sex to university has be sobbing 😂😂😂

  • @CDuff86
    @CDuff86 2 года назад +267

    Russell Howard's bit about kids filming them losing their virginity blows my mind. If I filmed me losing my virginity, it wouldn't have been a movie so much as a .GIF 🤣

  • @Harry_Beanbag
    @Harry_Beanbag 2 года назад +385

    Hilarious montage! Ms. Pat might be my new favorite comic, but Mark's sex with a GOP/abortion punchline literally woke my wife up.

    • @jasonmcclain8186
      @jasonmcclain8186 2 года назад +4

      .yes

    • @monican923
      @monican923 2 года назад +1

      ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

  • @midnightmask7716
    @midnightmask7716 2 года назад +95

    6:30 her sons must be mortified 🤣

    • @godlytyungodly
      @godlytyungodly 2 года назад +11

      that shit nasty

    • @midnightmask7716
      @midnightmask7716 2 года назад +7

      @@godlytyungodly I know right 😬

    • @godlytyungodly
      @godlytyungodly 2 года назад +19

      @@midnightmask7716 i’m glad there were ppl like you in the comments 😭 shit had me feeling hella uncomfortable listening to her say that shi😂

    • @midnightmask7716
      @midnightmask7716 2 года назад +9

      @@godlytyungodly Your welcome, bro I cringed inside my soul

  • @misskaydawkins
    @misskaydawkins 2 года назад +145

    ⚠️… That first story⚠️… “Straight to jail!”
    Skip to 4:27 if y’all couldn’t hang like myself, bc whew chile

    • @natty.777
      @natty.777 2 года назад +16

      I’m sayingggg

    • @oktoberfeeest7819
      @oktoberfeeest7819 2 года назад +23

      It was funny sure but it was also incredibly disturbing too

    • @godlytyungodly
      @godlytyungodly 2 года назад +8

      7:00 her set bothers me so much

    • @godlytyungodly
      @godlytyungodly 2 года назад +14

      how she treated her sons it jus made me feel so gross and uncomfortable

    • @pw6160
      @pw6160 2 года назад +12

      Wasn't that disturbing and disgusting?! Why are people laughing in the comments?! That's not a joke !!

  • @natehills8096
    @natehills8096 2 года назад +38

    2 comedians in and you can tell this title is wrong, it should be "Incest, according to Comedians."

    • @spicnspan87
      @spicnspan87 Год назад +8

      a tragedy of older generations & undereducated families is that its not uncommon for sexual trauma to be some people’s first experiences/introductions to sex ed.

  • @deansheets
    @deansheets 2 года назад +84

    The birthday part was a perfectly snuck in joke.

  • @thatsbaloney
    @thatsbaloney 2 года назад +35

    "You can't let that out. You'd get tackled at a Chili's."

  • @Baby_Doll1989
    @Baby_Doll1989 Год назад +17

    Lmao 😂 I nearly died laughing at "you'd get tackled at a chilli's".

  • @taylorwilliams4179
    @taylorwilliams4179 Год назад +76

    I didnt have full context for this story until i listened to it from the begining. Dear lord...Im just glad she was able to turn actual trauma into a disturbingly funny story.

  • @ShiningLight411
    @ShiningLight411 2 года назад +326

    There is NO WAY that first story is true!!!!!😂😂😂😂😂

    • @ericras5993
      @ericras5993 2 года назад

      Listen to jim jefferies taking an md sufferer to see a prostitute

    • @makeupdiaries6438
      @makeupdiaries6438 2 года назад +57

      All of Ms Pat's stories are outrageous, but she tells them like they're nothing which adds to the comedy.

    • @skribulz7
      @skribulz7 2 года назад +21

      I saw her on the Joe Rogen podcast (in his not crazy/RUclips years) and according to the stories she told there, yeah… everything she says on stage is true.

    • @catsseighteen4365
      @catsseighteen4365 2 года назад +18

      She was too descriptive for it not to be 😭

    • @Dwendele
      @Dwendele Год назад +3

      @@skribulz7 his "not crazy/RUclips years"??? LMAO Rogan on RUclips was WAY more out there than he is now. He's darn near mainstream now!

  • @chiaroscural
    @chiaroscural 2 года назад +60

    That part of Ms Pat’s special fucks me up every single time 😂

  • @Itspoppyme
    @Itspoppyme 2 года назад +91

    Sorry but that first story just sounds like abuse- abuse towards her, her sister and a vulnerable man with special needs

    • @pw6160
      @pw6160 2 года назад +17

      EXACTLY!! AND I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE ARE LAUGHING IN THE COMMENTS!!

    • @LexTime89
      @LexTime89 2 года назад +21

      @@pw6160 A lot of people process their trauma through comedy.

    • @catsseighteen4365
      @catsseighteen4365 2 года назад +14

      Ms. Pat has decided not to let herself be a victim to the things she was subjected to in her past

    • @phaedraknoeller4482
      @phaedraknoeller4482 Год назад +1

      Completely agree

    • @ronjon7942
      @ronjon7942 8 месяцев назад +5

      Yeah, agreed. Glad I wasn’t the only one who noticed I wasn’t laughing. But like Lex said, maybe she’s processing trauma through her comedy. Seems to have worked, so there’s that.

  • @ComicalRealm
    @ComicalRealm 2 года назад +98

    "Roses are nice, violets are fine, i'll be the 6, if you be the 9" - Master Oogway when he was 46

  • @LM-gm9yo
    @LM-gm9yo 10 месяцев назад +7

    You know you're a master of your craft when you can turn a fcked up story into the most hilarious stuff you've ever heard. Big props to Ms. Pat!

  • @ItsYaBoiV
    @ItsYaBoiV 2 года назад +15

    Russell Howard sounds like Gordon Ramsey and I was listening to this without watching wondering why the angry food man was telling me about sex

  • @TheCorey1734
    @TheCorey1734 2 года назад +23

    13:14 wow, oh my god. That’s morbid and hilarious.

  • @c.saragian9502
    @c.saragian9502 Год назад +13

    Mark Normand is absolutely hilarious. Razor sharp delivery and fucking hilarious. I laughed so hard my sides hurt!

  • @2headed
    @2headed Год назад +5

    Gawd I love Maria Bamford. Still so sad I missed her show!

  • @HanaEleHH
    @HanaEleHH 2 года назад +40

    The first story is just horrible...this is child abuse

  • @fairroe6975
    @fairroe6975 2 года назад +5

    Ms. Pat traumatized me as I🤪

  • @alessandrogambino420
    @alessandrogambino420 2 года назад +15

    Kevin Hart is hillarious...I mean Marc Normand :D

  • @louspowels7120
    @louspowels7120 2 года назад +95

    get a dad to tell the second story about daughter. yeah fucking right.

    • @Goshin89
      @Goshin89 2 года назад +4

      Girls don't exactly have a peepee. 😁

    • @VictoriaSobocki
      @VictoriaSobocki 2 года назад +2

      @@Goshin89 Nah you know what he meant

    • @ianleonard1838
      @ianleonard1838 2 года назад +4

      THANK YOU.

    • @evikathurgood3017
      @evikathurgood3017 2 года назад +1

      That's what I was thinking .... it gives pedo.

    • @firexx78
      @firexx78 2 года назад +9

      I was wondering why I felt so uncomfortable

  • @MrNicoleCherie
    @MrNicoleCherie 2 года назад +61

    As a lesbian who gets hit on by straight women... Now I understand why.

  • @danabryant6138
    @danabryant6138 2 года назад +93

    Ok. I understand comedy is subjective. I ABSOLUTELY UNDERSTAND funny is funny. The first story just hits too close to home for me.

    • @mrlilrip10
      @mrlilrip10 2 года назад +6

      what does that mean?

    • @danabryant6138
      @danabryant6138 2 года назад +2

      @@mrlilrip10 sexual abuse involving family.

    • @mrlilrip10
      @mrlilrip10 2 года назад +29

      @@danabryant6138 oh😢😢 so sorry to hear that.
      this world is sick, way too many people where im from has dealt with that😞
      You are strong

    • @danabryant6138
      @danabryant6138 2 года назад +19

      @@mrlilrip10 Thank you and I appreciate the question instead of making a shitty comment. There are a lot of evil people in the world.

    • @mrlilrip10
      @mrlilrip10 2 года назад +2

      @@danabryant6138 for sure man,, people are evil. even more so on the internet

  • @Kinvarus1
    @Kinvarus1 2 года назад +18

    Nikki's Vincent D'Onofrio from Men In Black joke was pretty good, that bit got me.

  • @catwetterau8273
    @catwetterau8273 2 года назад +11

    The second story was helllaaaaa weird

  • @michellehuffman2025
    @michellehuffman2025 2 года назад +5

    I'm dead from the 1st one💀💀💀

  • @Kayboo730
    @Kayboo730 2 года назад +29

    I like this Mark guy cuz he’s just awkward enough that it’s obvious he’s not a threat

  • @realotobi
    @realotobi 2 года назад +5

    I watched this in a bus...in a bus

  • @user-ub1hc1iu1b
    @user-ub1hc1iu1b 2 года назад +31

    Everytime there’s a Nikki standup, I know I’m either going to get traumatized or disgusted 🕴🏻

  • @jacobssweetpotato3863
    @jacobssweetpotato3863 2 года назад +21

    The 2nd comedian made me feel uncomfortable 😭😭. Idk I just can’t imagine having kids and saying that stuff about them. Like imagine if a dad said similar things about his daughter 😬. It’s weird

    • @phaedraknoeller4482
      @phaedraknoeller4482 Год назад +5

      Yeah I agree. Not funny, and I feel really sorry for her kids. 🤷🏼‍♀️

    • @spicnspan87
      @spicnspan87 Год назад +2

      to each their own. i got EXACTLY what she was talking about and I did see the humor in it. She COULD refine/retool the verbiage but the core premise is hilarious

    • @jasonhamilton6098
      @jasonhamilton6098 Месяц назад

      You must be new to comedy

  • @L1niste
    @L1niste 2 года назад +4

    first 4 min comedy gold.....Ms. Pat goes hard

    • @user-yw4fh4pw3q
      @user-yw4fh4pw3q 2 года назад

      Unless you've lived through something similar. Then not so much...

  • @lukeburkett5645
    @lukeburkett5645 2 года назад +13

    Maria is a treasure

  • @gingersnapps
    @gingersnapps 2 года назад +6

    That one was the best so far lol 😆

  • @tamikam173
    @tamikam173 2 года назад +15

    The 1st story 😳😲🤔🤣😂🤣

  • @1bestfriend2u18
    @1bestfriend2u18 2 года назад +17

    People taking their disfunction as jokes

    • @Mimi-cq4bg
      @Mimi-cq4bg 2 года назад +20

      Congratulations you’ve just described comedy

  • @thomasgomez3215
    @thomasgomez3215 3 месяца назад

    high at midnight in 2024 and i'm crying

  • @brittanys2088
    @brittanys2088 2 года назад +2

    I saw that kept it moving lol

  • @aidinpippippenger9907
    @aidinpippippenger9907 3 месяца назад

    This is the only episode 8 watched from beginning to end. I think we should all listen to our elders. They are so wise....

  • @cooljoe5820
    @cooljoe5820 Год назад +2

    The university analog so true

  • @ronjon7942
    @ronjon7942 8 месяцев назад

    Love Mark Normand.

  • @spacemama
    @spacemama 2 года назад +3

    Lotions and potions🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @maryrosekent8223
    @maryrosekent8223 Год назад +1

    OMG, I love Janelle sooo much!

  • @ekdaufin1485
    @ekdaufin1485 6 месяцев назад

    University analogy was excellent.

  • @rhettorical
    @rhettorical 2 года назад +7

    The first one was fucked up and funny, the second one just felt uncomfortable.

  • @kbee8517
    @kbee8517 2 года назад +4

    Ms. Pat, Russell Howard & Nikki Glaser really stole the show with these omfg

    • @jaysonjackson3455
      @jaysonjackson3455 2 года назад

      Guess that's why their faces are on the thumbnail.

  • @Psnowdog7
    @Psnowdog7 2 года назад +7

    "Sometimes you do the doorstop like BRRRRRRRMMM" jesus fucking christ XD

  • @aqua-mina
    @aqua-mina Год назад +4

    Mark never disappoints!

  • @jaredb.4335
    @jaredb.4335 2 года назад +27

    Hi ... how did I get here?

  • @rickwilliams967
    @rickwilliams967 Год назад +2

    Comedian might be a strong word here.

  • @cameronmichaels216
    @cameronmichaels216 2 года назад +12

    ms. pat is the best

  • @sulemanpatel
    @sulemanpatel 2 года назад +11

    Got funny at 14:30 & 20:14

  • @Mimi-cq4bg
    @Mimi-cq4bg 2 года назад +12

    Omg y’all ms pat just bout kills me

  • @missbeaneats
    @missbeaneats 2 года назад +20

    Mark Normand was brilliant

  • @brandonroberson1283
    @brandonroberson1283 2 года назад +1

    Definitely needs run this back

  • @djloften
    @djloften Год назад +4

    I'm an epileptic I have had a sezure during sex it resulted in our 2nd daughter-LOL

    • @anthonybroady9483
      @anthonybroady9483 Год назад

      I am not making fun of your situation with your health but I swear that funny as hell!🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @alanadaniels2005
    @alanadaniels2005 Год назад +1

    20:12

  • @ianleonard1838
    @ianleonard1838 2 года назад +22

    6:30 why, may I ask, is child sexual assault so "funny?"

    • @stephsaguudefan1753
      @stephsaguudefan1753 2 года назад +4

      Um......what? You think flipping your own baby's junk in silliness is SEXUAL ASSAULT? It has nothing to do with sex or assault. Wtf is wrong with you?

    • @ianleonard1838
      @ianleonard1838 2 года назад +5

      @@stephsaguudefan1753 it is sexual assault.

    • @stephsaguudefan1753
      @stephsaguudefan1753 2 года назад +2

      @@ianleonard1838 So is cleaning your baby after changing their diaper sexual assault then? What exactly is the line for you?

    • @macee6881
      @macee6881 2 года назад +19

      ...this was also my thought. I think the reason it disturbs me, somebody without children, is that you an adult are playing with your child's junk like its a toy. Its way different than a cleaning or a diaper change because a diaper change and a cleaning is a necessity, sitting there and playing with your babies junk because you think its silly and cute is, in my opinion, more than a bit disturbing.

    • @ianleonard1838
      @ianleonard1838 2 года назад +6

      @@macee6881 exactly, thank you for explaining.

  • @alanadaniels2005
    @alanadaniels2005 Год назад +1

    14:30

  • @Eln_musK
    @Eln_musK 6 месяцев назад

    Ohh, Brian 🤣🤣

  • @Ralphies_Mom
    @Ralphies_Mom 2 года назад +6

    that was a disturbing story.

  • @constancebailey1052
    @constancebailey1052 Год назад

    Great comedy!

  • @fabianreginold9661
    @fabianreginold9661 2 года назад +23

    Mark Normand's comedy style is sort of like Jerry Seinfeld's

    • @amandaspear6148
      @amandaspear6148 2 года назад +4

      Except that Mark's funny. 🤣😂🤣👍

  • @IzjusTree
    @IzjusTree 2 года назад +4

    "I don't kink shame, but..."
    Ok, so you do, then.

  • @stevegorr4262
    @stevegorr4262 2 года назад

    The last one she forgot, "what's this here sauce."

  • @dot-hubbard-i-luv-my-beretta
    @dot-hubbard-i-luv-my-beretta 4 месяца назад

    ❤ oh miss nikki

  • @cactus4773
    @cactus4773 2 года назад

    The last one I was scared

  • @pandoraaaraseth1040
    @pandoraaaraseth1040 2 года назад +2

    Sorry girl but you wrong. Footies aren't anywhere near as bizarre as cake farting, horse play, looners or clown sex people's.

  • @Ben-mf4go
    @Ben-mf4go 3 месяца назад

    These people need to go straight to jail.

  • @junpengluo882
    @junpengluo882 2 года назад +2

    Mark Normand's is amazing LOL.

  • @alphared4508
    @alphared4508 2 года назад +19

    I've just been kink-shamed 🤔

    • @jacobisimmons_com
      @jacobisimmons_com Год назад

      No shame bro, even if you don't like feet, you don't like ugly feet... we all understand

  • @HBProductions.
    @HBProductions. 2 года назад +3

    Hilarious comedians. I couldn't stop laughing. What's the name of the English comedian?

    • @MarieGarrett.
      @MarieGarrett. 2 года назад +1

      Says their names on the bottom of the screen.

    • @CantoErgoSum
      @CantoErgoSum 2 года назад +3

      Russell Howard

    • @typacsk
      @typacsk Год назад

      He had a show that introduced me to some other good comedians--I want to say it was called "Russell Howard's Good News"

  • @tina247diva9
    @tina247diva9 2 года назад +2

    Loved the Mark Normand bit❤

  • @AtlOzOm
    @AtlOzOm Год назад

    Janelle James looks like Michael Jackson

  • @86Kera
    @86Kera 2 года назад +2

    That British guy is kinda fine

  • @theprideling
    @theprideling Год назад +1

    I feel like that one lady's gonna have a lesbian awakening any day now

  • @jesseschwerdt7974
    @jesseschwerdt7974 2 года назад +8

    I love it when she tells me don't stop someday's I'll be running in place all dam day like I can't wait till I get to test this theory

  • @cosmocats20489
    @cosmocats20489 Год назад +1

    After hearing the first one I’m just scared to hear the rest... didn’t laugh just empathize with her as a kid for having to do that.

  • @cucubanana4226
    @cucubanana4226 9 месяцев назад

    Netflix Is A Joke, a bad one.

  • @bacardid8979
    @bacardid8979 2 года назад +16

    Sry, i don't get y anyone wld b offended at ANYTHING a comedian jokes about. Nothing is off limits in comedy.. U should be able to find humor in all aspects of life. If u cant understand that , its your own sensitive self's fault and should probably toughen up rather than wasting your time ridiculing people here, who came for a laugh not to here a whinny baby complain...

    • @sadiralangton6852
      @sadiralangton6852 2 года назад +1

      It's so funny to me when people who obviously have the lowest self esteem on the planet tell others to "toughen up" lmao How about you get your priorities together and learn to spell the insults before using them?

  • @omikatiwari747
    @omikatiwari747 2 года назад

    "Yelps"

  • @fexbio
    @fexbio 2 года назад

    Aaaaah... airfryer. LOL

  • @sourgummiescureyourpain4555
    @sourgummiescureyourpain4555 Год назад

    The 'men are horny' bit seems verrrry familiar. I'm 99% sure I've heard that many years ago from Louis CK.

  • @MilesVanlife
    @MilesVanlife 2 года назад +1

    What’s the outcue music from ???

  • @cobwebsandcorsets
    @cobwebsandcorsets Год назад

    5:06 DEFTONES SHIRT

  • @recoforeman8246
    @recoforeman8246 Год назад

    And they say I'm crazy

  • @jackdoe552
    @jackdoe552 2 года назад +7

    Normand killed all the way.

  • @iain1207
    @iain1207 Год назад

    That black lady dam. Reminds me of Jim Jefferies friend

  • @kaizen_oils9805
    @kaizen_oils9805 2 года назад

    Wildfire hot 🤣🤣🤣🤣🥳

  • @carolynharris8000
    @carolynharris8000 2 года назад +8

    What is with black females looking at their male family's body parts?
    That's not good.
    Nikki Nikki Nikki always make things hilarious.
    Was that Kyle Busch telling jokes?
    That one dude his disappointed type of comedy was different.
    That other guy when he did that weird walk cracked me up.
    The familiar one at the end she comes from the likes of Louie CK,Patton Oswalt ,Paul F Tomkins,Sarah Silverman etc.
    She's a legend.

  • @Blackflag.actual
    @Blackflag.actual 2 года назад +3

    3rd one is funny

  • @constructapex2021
    @constructapex2021 Год назад

    This storys not gona send you to hell baby hahaha love Ms. Pat

  • @MonkyDollqueen
    @MonkyDollqueen 2 года назад +8

    Wow amzing video🥰🥰

  • @gina-zo2375
    @gina-zo2375 2 года назад +6

    Hilarious but I’m unsure about the last one🤨, nonetheless it was funny 🤣