17 Minutes Of Comedians Talking About Marriage

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  • Опубликовано: 23 дек 2024

Комментарии • 1 тыс.

  • @P8860
    @P8860 3 года назад +2421

    Chris Rock doesn't tell jokes. He preaches a sermon 💯

    • @firstnamelastname1715
      @firstnamelastname1715 3 года назад +46

      Comedy comes from pain in someone's life. Those are funny jokes or stories that make us laugh

    • @omoakinkayode9455
      @omoakinkayode9455 3 года назад +29

      Well, his sermon cracked ribs.

    • @robertnegron9706
      @robertnegron9706 3 года назад +13

      Saw him live at the Comic Strip in the upper east side back in the 90’s. He just dropped in trying new stuff. I was on a date and what he said about dating was spot on. Funniest chit I heard. I think it was after new Jack city.

    • @189hosp6
      @189hosp6 3 года назад +2

      @@robertnegron9706 Those were the days...

    • @lioneljoseduterte4847
      @lioneljoseduterte4847 3 года назад +1

      ruclips.net/video/h832QdauaCQ/видео.html

  • @GiantGeekGuy
    @GiantGeekGuy 3 года назад +1407

    It's kinda weird listening to Marty from Madagascar, Manny from Ice Age, and Barry from Bee Movie talking about marriage. 😂

  • @219nab1
    @219nab1 3 года назад +679

    DAVE CHAPPELL: You start out loving each other then 2 years later your building a case on one another for a hypothetical court date...so freaking true 👍 💯

    • @jasmainjasmain2906
      @jasmainjasmain2906 3 года назад +3

      And thank goodness I did 😂

    • @floatinggoose9197
      @floatinggoose9197 3 года назад +4

      He is a comedic genius. No physical comedy needed, he outgrew his funny vouce and doesn't need to do High "freakout" tone of voice to get points across. You know how some comedians delivery is so off point that they use loud voices or gestures to say "Hey, it's the punchline"
      Dave can make almost anything on the planet funny.

    • @SeyvenRoses
      @SeyvenRoses 3 года назад

      😂😂😂

    • @nacarreira777
      @nacarreira777 2 года назад +4

      He was spot on about marriage being a bad contract you should never sign.

    • @jayak8217
      @jayak8217 2 года назад +2

      Literally Amber Heard and Johnny Depp lol

  • @MimiMoments
    @MimiMoments 3 года назад +368

    My husband recently told me, “one of the things I am most proud of as a husband is that I’ve taught you think more strategically.” Idk why I was so shocked but also made me very happy. I’m very go with the flow and he has helped me think even further ahead. I didn’t know it was intentional on his part. He still doesn’t know where most things are but so far so good. So very good.

    • @Kal-El207
      @Kal-El207 3 года назад +22

      Helped my wife think things through more logically and strategically as well. Glad to know others do the same for their spouses. Best of my blessings to y’all.

    • @branon6565
      @branon6565 3 года назад +6

      Wow, your experience is the complete opposite of mine, and even though I've been divorced since the year 2000, I'm still pissed off and in utter disbelief that I was ever dumb enough to get married....I mean, I deployed twice to Iraq and once to Afghanistan after I enlisted because of 9/11, and I honestly think I would rather deploy a fourth time if I had to choose between deploying and getting married again....

    • @Utriedit215
      @Utriedit215 3 года назад +16

      Sounds like your husband is a manipulator I wonder what else he's been training you without your knowledge about I will be watching him very closely if I was you

    • @Utriedit215
      @Utriedit215 3 года назад +1

      @@branon6565 getting married while in-service is like a 80% chance your marriage is going to fail cuz 60% of them get with you just for benefits

    • @SocomElite
      @SocomElite 2 года назад +4

      @@Utriedit215 I like your first comment, but military or not it's the same story. I'm sorry but marriage is just not worth it. Way too risky. And yes I'm divorced and have learned my lesson lol

  • @lillm5774
    @lillm5774 3 года назад +163

    "Laura, I don't even know if you know what an airport is..." 😂😂
    Good one Nate Bargatze

    • @wsjuno
      @wsjuno 3 года назад +3

      Oh so true 🤣

  • @NewMaite
    @NewMaite 3 года назад +557

    Chris and Katt are right, once the intimacy goes, so does the marriage. Just roommates at that point.

    • @SocomElite
      @SocomElite 2 года назад +24

      That's the problem bro, intimacy will always dwindle. It's inevitable. I stay single since my divorce on purpose & I actually lose intimacy for each new chick within the first couple weeks. Sorry just being honest

    • @shannond7437
      @shannond7437 2 года назад +3

      Why you marry your best friend

    • @shannond7437
      @shannond7437 2 года назад +25

      @@SocomElite That makes me sad for you not them

    • @fredstriker2042
      @fredstriker2042 2 года назад +3

      @@shannond7437 why?

    • @fredstriker2042
      @fredstriker2042 2 года назад +7

      @@SocomElite Finding true connection, and intimacy with today's ran through modern women is basically impossible. They have lost the ability to pair bond. Sure There's always a unicorn out there somewhere, but from a critical thinking Position no man should ever get married. The risks versus the rewards rewards are So ridiculously unfair and unbalanced

  • @livylu6287
    @livylu6287 3 года назад +211

    I guess that’s why I actually have a great marriage!! My husband and I actually do or don’t does all the stuff that they told us that we should or shouldn’t do. I’m pretty proud, LOL.

    • @firstnamelastname1715
      @firstnamelastname1715 3 года назад +5

      Yup.hes cheating.lol
      A happy husband is a cheater.

    • @kaylapena8516
      @kaylapena8516 3 года назад +78

      @@firstnamelastname1715 can you just let her be happy and not make her overthink just cause you’re insecure in your relationships

    • @starmorpheus
      @starmorpheus 3 года назад +8

      @@firstnamelastname1715 So you suggest keeping your husband unhappy? Lol dumbass

    • @firstnamelastname1715
      @firstnamelastname1715 3 года назад +1

      @@kaylapena8516 I guess the stereotype that woman can't get a joke from a mile away is true.

    • @tinockovietea2470
      @tinockovietea2470 3 года назад +1

      Beavis: She just said they like to do it. Heh heh heh. Butthead: And they do ALL the stuff. Heh heh heh heh.

  • @mgtow6683
    @mgtow6683 3 года назад +1299

    Marriage is like a Tornado: "In the beginning there's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house".

    • @daxvictor7526
      @daxvictor7526 3 года назад +1

      i know it's kind of randomly asking but does anyone know of a good site to watch newly released tv shows online?

    • @daxvictor7526
      @daxvictor7526 3 года назад +1

      @Jaziel Sage thank you, signed up and it seems like they got a lot of movies there =) Appreciate it!

    • @jazielsage845
      @jazielsage845 3 года назад

      @Dax Victor glad I could help =)

    • @jpz7850
      @jpz7850 3 года назад +1

      Too funny

    • @wheezesinsilence4486
      @wheezesinsilence4486 3 года назад

      Bahahhahaha

  • @kondekinoe9337
    @kondekinoe9337 3 года назад +51

    2:42 The dude wearing black was so happy to hear that joke. He was enjoying his life that day😂😂😂. It's nice to see that.

  • @johnstewart4209
    @johnstewart4209 3 года назад +205

    As a married man, this hits home so much.

    • @fredstriker2042
      @fredstriker2042 2 года назад +5

      Once the inevitable divorce comes don't ever do it again.. And you will be happier and healthier than you've ever been in your life

    • @beefortebrea9386
      @beefortebrea9386 2 года назад +10

      @@fredstriker2042 hey look a random guy for some reason wishing this man gets a divorce and never remarries

    • @Batman-ro3mk
      @Batman-ro3mk 2 года назад

      @@fredstriker2042 whatever makes your single ass sleep at night man!

    • @lordbasketboi9998
      @lordbasketboi9998 2 года назад +1

      @@beefortebrea9386 I mean it is a coin toss

    • @yeetmcyeet3120
      @yeetmcyeet3120 2 года назад

      @@beefortebrea9386 Incels lol

  • @Haveyoueverbeenswallowed
    @Haveyoueverbeenswallowed 3 года назад +379

    Whenever Chris rock talks, I visualize a scene from “Everybody hates Chris” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 he literally just did stand up comedy jokes as the main narrator on the show, what a fucking guy 🤣

    • @rantallaboutit
      @rantallaboutit 3 года назад +4

      Same.

    • @adams9586
      @adams9586 3 года назад +6

      "Mom, Chris got hit by a car!" "I'll get the robitussin"

  • @gamby16a
    @gamby16a 3 года назад +71

    It's scary how accurate so much of this is. I'm 18 years in, BTW.
    Nate's resentment is palpable. Wow.

    • @gamby16a
      @gamby16a 3 года назад +6

      @@MrMrvin27 I meant I've been married for 18 years. Way too late for me 😄

    • @DTreatz
      @DTreatz 2 года назад +1

      '18 years in' yall married men dont even hear yall selves lmao, shit just sounds like a prison sentence.
      Condolences

    • @Traderderaa
      @Traderderaa 2 года назад

      ​@@DTreatz 🤣🤣🤣

    • @Traderderaa
      @Traderderaa 2 года назад +2

      ​@@gamby16a don't let them spook you

  • @TB_Finance
    @TB_Finance 3 года назад +2099

    Ali wong is a different type of woman lol

    • @jaydirt2006
      @jaydirt2006 3 года назад +52

      Ya a not funny 1

    • @buzzybee186
      @buzzybee186 3 года назад +97

      She seemed pretty hardcore about it. Sis was serious

    • @loridrblake9770
      @loridrblake9770 3 года назад +225

      Love Ali Wong! Woot! She does have an angry delivery, but her jokes are tight! She's got a stage persona, she's not like that IRL. That's her thing. She's brilliant!

    • @frankflynn9159
      @frankflynn9159 3 года назад

      I
      L

    • @melissacharlene1
      @melissacharlene1 3 года назад +13

      Haha! She is 🤗

  • @marspluto5463
    @marspluto5463 3 года назад +103

    The last bit is too relatable

    • @alikaandrade3435
      @alikaandrade3435 3 года назад +4

      My gf does the exact same thing. Drives me nuts lol

    • @marspluto5463
      @marspluto5463 3 года назад

      @@alikaandrade3435my ex used to do the same. The conversation trying to explain to her how it was not okay always ends up in a fight

    • @michikomanalang6733
      @michikomanalang6733 3 года назад +3

      WHY are people like that!!! i got friends who answer yes or no questions with someone else's biography

    • @briodundada
      @briodundada 3 года назад +2

      Who is the last guy?

    • @sorrystilltrying5062
      @sorrystilltrying5062 3 года назад +3

      @@briodundada Nate Bargatze

  • @VonFels
    @VonFels 3 года назад +155

    Imagine going to a couples therapist and getting this advice straight up. Might reduce the divorce rates mentioned in the one clip.

    • @shawnlouis7716
      @shawnlouis7716 2 года назад +13

      Wife: "I and my husband have been experiencing some financial issues and would like some advice on how to proceed forward to solving this problem together as a couple"
      Therapist: "you gats to fuck!"
      Couple: "thank you for the advice"

  • @destinytapia8759
    @destinytapia8759 2 года назад +14

    What's funny about what Chris Rock is saying, it's true. Saved my marriage. I saw something about having sex everyday brought someone else's marriage closer. So my husband and I made a point to have sex everyday. We set aside time when he gets off work. We dont even eat dinner first. He gets home, showers and we have sex then have dinner. We have been doing this for at least 6 years and we have kids. You have to put into your marriage because one day those kids are going to be gone. We only take breaks when I'm on my cycle or if we're sick. Sometimes even when we're sick we do it.

  • @allans7281
    @allans7281 3 года назад +116

    Chris rock is so hilarious just amazing material n delivery

  • @ebitoro4590
    @ebitoro4590 3 года назад +197

    They need to put John Mulaney's "Why marry the cow?" segment to make me feel a little positive about marriage 😭😭

    • @rite2bcreative
      @rite2bcreative 3 года назад +32

      Except he got divorced I think

    • @ebitoro4590
      @ebitoro4590 3 года назад +8

      @@rite2bcreative Well, shit.

    • @korean6706
      @korean6706 3 года назад +24

      Update:He bought a new cow, and impregnated that one.

    • @308MiA
      @308MiA 2 года назад

      ​@@korean6706 just the weirdest fuckin plot twist none of us seen coming lmao

    • @alexanderthegreat1270
      @alexanderthegreat1270 2 года назад +1

      @@308MiA It’s very strange. The truth is, he’s an addict. He relapsed and fell into a backslide recovery relationship. I feel for the guy cause I reckon he wants to come out and say, “I got stuck in a bit of a shit situation” but if he does, his son is gonna grow up with that “problem” label for his entire life. Olivia Munn also strikes me as incredibly weird, she seemed to latch onto her title as an “It Girl” and I get the sense she lept at the opportunity to lock him in.
      However, at the end of the day, he cheated on his wife and made his own bed. So now, all of us fans have to reconsider our feelings about him while he and Olivia roleplay this weird “Loving parent” charade online cause neither one wants to be the one to come out and just talk facts. I reckon they’ll stay together until he’s a young kid and then eventually divorce

  • @mukisajoshua3596
    @mukisajoshua3596 3 года назад +324

    Katt Williams doesn't even need to talk to make u laugh his a whole level of funny😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @sebastiaosalgado1979
    @sebastiaosalgado1979 3 года назад +98

    "Dick for dishes" LOL He's the funniest!

  • @MattKittredge2112
    @MattKittredge2112 3 года назад +66

    Seeing that quote in front of Jerry Seinfeld, as he’s making that face in the thumbnail, is just amazing 🤣

  • @disturbedrebirth
    @disturbedrebirth 3 года назад +144

    My wife is the worst with a GPS. She'll say "Go that way". I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm driving, which way is that way?

    • @romaneros4583
      @romaneros4583 3 года назад +12

      Mine does that and random gasps without explaining why. Car coming at us? A child chasing a ball? Someone changing lanes? She remembered she forgot to lock the door. I dont know but she thinks her gasp is gonna help the situation.

    • @Samy-vh1xi
      @Samy-vh1xi 3 года назад +6

      I know this is kinda different but I’m 18 and learning to drive in the UK with my dad and he does the exact same thing! We’ll be approaching a roundabout and he’ll be like “you need to be in that lane” and I’m like “I’M 5 METRES FROM THE ROUNDABOUT WHICH LANE IS THAT LANE?!?!!!!??”

    • @romaneros4583
      @romaneros4583 3 года назад

      @@Samy-vh1xi I speak from experience. Your dad is nervous but trust him. You will be fine.

    • @Samy-vh1xi
      @Samy-vh1xi 3 года назад +1

      @@romaneros4583 thank you :)

    • @romaneros4583
      @romaneros4583 3 года назад +1

      @@Samy-vh1xi did you get your driver's license?

  • @VengeDracul
    @VengeDracul 3 года назад +238

    Ali Wong is too damn funny. She kills me every single time. She is the funniest woman on this planet.

    • @maykol33
      @maykol33 3 года назад +1

      She is funny but that line/joke wasn't. So cheating on your husband by licking another man's butthole is funny? Also, the 25 year old she described doesn't really exist. No 25 year old man says yes to everything a woman says without expecting something in return. So I sensed she might be being used.

    • @notthefather3919
      @notthefather3919 3 года назад +14

      No she isn't.

    • @mai_komagata
      @mai_komagata 3 года назад +2

      @@maykol33 You realize that man isn't a real dude? she is positing the equivalent of a hot nanny -- someone that for their *job* is helping out around the house thus says yes. The joke isn't that she was cheating on anyone. But that parents are so exhausted they would do anything for help.

    • @maykol33
      @maykol33 3 года назад +4

      @@mai_komagata I know it doesn't exist. Her crudeness is not funny in this case.

    • @ryanpulliam8987
      @ryanpulliam8987 3 года назад +3

      @@maykol33 are you seriously butthurt at a fucking joke? Grow a pair of balls and learn to have fun.

  • @navtektv
    @navtektv 3 года назад +13

    32 single and INDIAN, big qualifier there, but I get a lot of married adults, young and old, asking me when the fuck am I going to get married and I have the perfect answer to them.
    "Apna dukh mujhe mat baato." "Don't try to make me share in your grief. "
    I tell them very frankly that when they see a person single at the age when they got married they see a person who hasn't made the big mistake that they made and they can't stand to see people content when not making their mistakes.
    Happy marriages, especially happy Indian marriages are rare, they probably do exist, but I've yet to see one single example in my vicinity.
    The examples I've seen are abusive, controlling, filled with obligations because of children and society expectations, arguments and drama and very little to no actual love.

    • @Ash-jh3gh
      @Ash-jh3gh 2 года назад +1

      So true. Stay single, independent, relaxed and happy

    • @carolnyamu
      @carolnyamu 2 года назад +1

      Don't feel pressured at all 😅. It's not that serious

    • @42az59
      @42az59 Год назад

      Cityboys 🏙️ we up 🙏🏾🤞🏽

  • @nicolebrown-dominguez4605
    @nicolebrown-dominguez4605 3 года назад +402

    You notice most of the male comedians address the marriage issues with sex, and the women ask them to simply be an adult?

    • @branon6565
      @branon6565 3 года назад +23

      Apparently you haven't heard that the rumor is true, we do indeed think with our penis, it always knows what's best, when are women going to learn this? 😅

    • @Thinkpositivebepositive1
      @Thinkpositivebepositive1 3 года назад +45

      Because mens don’t want sex, they need it! When you know the difference your marriage its gonna be happy! 😉

    • @Revolution-tl5wo
      @Revolution-tl5wo 3 года назад +6

      @@branon6565 It's not our job to make up for your failings.

    • @LeviathanLee
      @LeviathanLee 3 года назад +9

      I'm guessing that's a joke.
      Because about half of this was about odd habits. Aka the stuff you claim is grown up. The last guy said NOTHING about sex. He did point out the immature thought process of his wife.
      The inability to apply logic. Which btw most adults and especially men consider to be quite childish.
      😆

    • @TheAcademik
      @TheAcademik 3 года назад +7

      @@Revolution-tl5wo tbf I don't think desiring sex and intimacy in a relationship where that's a standard expectation is any more of a failing than wanting equal work put in on your property.

  • @tubytootoo
    @tubytootoo 3 года назад +21

    I really like the last one. Nate bargatze. First time I’ve seen a bit by him that was funny.

  • @neobahamut6751
    @neobahamut6751 3 года назад +169

    Ali Wong is the only woman who can make every guy blush!

    • @tinockovietea2470
      @tinockovietea2470 3 года назад +8

      Jack Nicholson in The Shining was so beautifully selected for imagery.

    • @Towoawawabo8
      @Towoawawabo8 2 года назад +1

      🤝🏿

    • @timkingsemail
      @timkingsemail Год назад +1

      If by 'blush', you mean 'vomit', well yes. True.

  • @barbecuesauceeyebrows8254
    @barbecuesauceeyebrows8254 3 года назад +47

    That last guy was really funny

    • @Fredexide
      @Fredexide 3 года назад

      Noon 😂😂😂😂

  • @4darchitecturestudio89
    @4darchitecturestudio89 3 года назад +52

    Chris Rock had the best joke.
    Kat Williams' voice is a joke it'self .

  • @giftedlift3354
    @giftedlift3354 3 года назад +51

    Nate is simply hilarious. 😂

    • @PrimeSuperboy
      @PrimeSuperboy Год назад

      His bit was so on point. I LOVED IT.

  • @Lusciousmook9091
    @Lusciousmook9091 2 года назад +16

    That last guy was hilarious 😂

  • @jennifercrull7747
    @jennifercrull7747 3 года назад +18

    THANK YOU Chris!!! 100%

  • @otisthegrouch9299
    @otisthegrouch9299 3 года назад +26

    I needed this......I come from work every morning and it's feels like I've been on autopilot for a whole year now. Don't wanna say I'm sick of seeing someone but DAMN!

  • @srami004
    @srami004 3 года назад +182

    "Just got married again." -Tracy Morgan
    He is getting divorced again.
    Sounds like this needs to updated...Lol Damn

    • @seanm7539
      @seanm7539 3 года назад +12

      Did
      He really damn

  • @Enr227
    @Enr227 3 года назад +140

    Chris Rock is brilliant

    • @firstnamelastname1715
      @firstnamelastname1715 3 года назад +3

      Brilliant?
      How is he Brilliant?
      Do you know the definition and meaning of the word Brilliant??

    • @theempire00
      @theempire00 3 года назад +3

      @@firstnamelastname1715 I bet you’re a teenager 😂

    • @expandwhatyousee
      @expandwhatyousee 3 года назад +4

      @@firstnamelastname1715, exceptionally clever or talented is the definition. I think he is both. It doesn't have some mystical meaning.

  • @baddad1981
    @baddad1981 3 года назад +235

    update,, his second marriage didn't last.

  • @apoorvsingh3395
    @apoorvsingh3395 3 года назад +30

    Katt Williams rock the entire stage and Tracy Morgan is just perfect

  • @nonovyobiznez3735
    @nonovyobiznez3735 3 года назад +17

    The last guy wasn't even telling a joke. He usually sit in my living room writing his bits.

  • @BABA-hw9ro
    @BABA-hw9ro 3 года назад +27

    Chappelle looks like a bodybuilder

    • @misterb1132
      @misterb1132 2 года назад +1

      He has put on some serious muscle, for sure. He's relaxed and eating well too, apparently.

  • @torres7918
    @torres7918 3 года назад +54

    lol, I can eat 😻 in a horrible mood, never a truer statement.

  • @soulassassin0g
    @soulassassin0g 3 года назад +225

    How does Chris Rock look younger now than when he did in the 90's?

  • @kishona3915
    @kishona3915 3 года назад +23

    Chris Rock on point!

  • @sookiebear9215
    @sookiebear9215 3 года назад +26

    Chris rock is so funny! Omg I laughed so hard ♥️ Also love kat Williams and Ali Wong 🥰

  • @samuelorozco3439
    @samuelorozco3439 3 года назад +87

    17 minutes of comedians talking about marriage and some random footage of jerry seinfeld

    • @markfoster1520
      @markfoster1520 3 года назад

      ......talking about his "Tour of Duty".....I think he was playing some Mod, though.

  • @noemiecansier8466
    @noemiecansier8466 3 года назад +11

    You know what if your getting married young, have an officiant of you desired faith or lack thereof walk you through some vows yada yada, DON’T walk into a city hall until you’re both financially literate, independent and have spoken to at least one lawyer. Take
    Your time, think of it as a trial run, like hand fasting.

    • @fredstriker2042
      @fredstriker2042 2 года назад +1

      Wrong, The formula you are using is crashing marriage rates. There is no point in even going over it anymore, feminism destroyed marriage, Women expect men to be traditional, yet modern women refuse being traditional for men.
      Women have no idea what men want from a relationship or marriage. At the end of the day the risks for men far outweigh any reward, if there even is one from a state issued marriage license

    • @noemiecansier8466
      @noemiecansier8466 2 года назад +1

      I have no personal interest in what men want from marriage being that I am a lesbian. But I’m a bit confused, if the formula of both parties (let’s assume a heterosexual pair) being financially independent is what is ruining marriage for men. Than what is this higher risk for men you speak of? Do men want women who aren’t breadwinners, but at the same time won’t demand alimony in the event of a divorce? You can’t have your cake and eat it.

    • @fredstriker2042
      @fredstriker2042 2 года назад

      @@noemiecansier8466 I tried to Respond with a polite comment but our RUclips overlords keep deleting

    • @fredstriker2042
      @fredstriker2042 2 года назад +1

      @@noemiecansier8466 Going to try again, and change the wording.
      I can't speak for marriage in the L Community but I will say they have the highest rate of domesticviolence . We will know more about divorce rates in a few more years when the data is collected. That said in the straight community It is literally a sucker's bet on a cost benefit analysis for men. Most fail, or end up nearly insufferable. Men pay near 100% of all court awarded alimony, and lose custody regularly in the same "courts". There was a time when marriage made sense, and I believe for children it is by far the best option. But it has become literally too big a risk and nothing to be gained for men.
      Regarding traditionalism. Women routinely have a long laundry list of what they expect in their men, in fact the demands being almost delusional. That said to shorten the list down, they want their men to be traditional Providers and protectors. In fact they want them to make more money than they do even they do and will rarely date under. As for men, the overwhelming majority would prefer their women more in a traditional role yet when this is discussed they are deemed every form of shaming language and literally ridiculed for doing what women have done themselves

    • @victornyamu2547
      @victornyamu2547 Год назад

      No be

  • @Saasan
    @Saasan 3 года назад +106

    I get that comedy isn't usually someone bragging about how well things are going for them, but yikes. I promise y'all marriage doesn't have to be a shit show.

    • @branon6565
      @branon6565 3 года назад +10

      It does HAVE to be, but inevitably, marriage is the most expensive hell one can impose upon oneself.....it's horrific....

    • @akm1967
      @akm1967 3 года назад +7

      Still think I'll give that a miss. Look at the stats. And the ones that are still married, 60% of those are just stuck!

    • @jeanlaubenthal698
      @jeanlaubenthal698 3 года назад

      It’s not ...if you keep...

    • @SeyvenRoses
      @SeyvenRoses 3 года назад

      Very true

    • @tinockovietea2470
      @tinockovietea2470 3 года назад +6

      We all hate/ get fkn annoyed by the people we love. Human condition. Doesn't mean we'd chose life without "em.

  • @seanholmes6791
    @seanholmes6791 3 года назад +14

    We didn't talk in Florida, that killed me 😂😂😂😂

  • @mariekastler5391
    @mariekastler5391 3 года назад +17

    Chris Rock speaks TRUTH! Oxytocin is My drug of choice!

  • @paulhennessey3454
    @paulhennessey3454 3 года назад +17

    Agreed. Why do I have to constantly ask where things are in my own house! 🤣

    • @klarityjoe7413
      @klarityjoe7413 3 года назад +4

      ...cos she moved them

    • @SwuadeTV
      @SwuadeTV 2 года назад

      @@klarityjoe7413 the real reason

    • @Jay-sk5hj
      @Jay-sk5hj Год назад

      @@klarityjoe7413first thing i thought of when she said that

  • @colesteeleA
    @colesteeleA 3 года назад +190

    People forget Seinfeld was dating a 17 year old girl, when he was 40.

    • @KPThomas82
      @KPThomas82 3 года назад +74

      The "issues" he's talking about is she couldn't spend the night with him because she had homework

    • @StoneyLover93
      @StoneyLover93 3 года назад +43

      Eww wtf that’s sick

    • @P8860
      @P8860 3 года назад +38

      Well his idol is Woody Allen so I'm not surprised

    • @haremking7256
      @haremking7256 3 года назад +1

      So what,would it HV made a difference if she was 18

    • @P8860
      @P8860 3 года назад +20

      @@haremking7256 For regular civilians, yes. For celebrities, it depends on who you know.

  • @dezzylele23
    @dezzylele23 3 года назад +9

    I am a woman in my late 30's and I have to say that Chris Rock is ABSOLUTELY correct in the importance of sex. Lots of sex. To the people who think they should wait until marriage: do you want to find out when it's to late that the sex is bad?? EVERYTHING else you can work on- moods, education, credit, communication, even tummy tucks and nose jobs. Everything else you can fix. But if the sex between you isn't good. If it doesn't make you FLY, everything else between you guys will slowly crumble. So find your best lay, and marry that person, and have sex all the time. Instead of a kiss goodbye in the morning and welcome home after work- bone. Make it your way of saying goodnight and good morning. Do this and everything else will work itself out and you will also smile more than all your friends too. I promise, it works!

    • @Wise-Lady-La-Aura
      @Wise-Lady-La-Aura 3 года назад +3

      You better have something else going on between the two of you, though. You better like each other. What happens when you're not in bed? That's just as important. I promise you need more than just a cock in the pussy. If not, then it will not last at all.

  • @deesplayworldtv
    @deesplayworldtv 3 года назад +1

    :47 a little gas shot out at the Gucci bag joke lol

  • @ekanglawrence6794
    @ekanglawrence6794 3 года назад +8

    That last joke was hilarious🤣

  • @tiffanystrand4423
    @tiffanystrand4423 2 года назад +3

    And truth in comedy 🎭 lives on!!

  • @linzymahoney4941
    @linzymahoney4941 3 года назад +29

    I choked on water when Ali Wong started doing the faces

    • @B1GK1NG
      @B1GK1NG 3 года назад +6

      Out of all the female comedians. She was the only one that made me laugh with her seductive look faces 😂

  • @petej7002
    @petej7002 3 года назад +27

    “ when we got married we were so poor we lived in a studio apartment”
    i know that wasnt a joke but still 🥴

  • @Artfulscience1
    @Artfulscience1 3 года назад +3

    “Wiffleball” 🤣🤣👏🏻

  • @ThangVu-kw6zd
    @ThangVu-kw6zd 3 года назад +5

    Nate's end this clip in a high note. Damn my guy is hilarious.

  • @tea2125
    @tea2125 3 года назад +56

    The last guy just picked a stupid person to marry, and now he's surprised she behaves stupid. I know what he's talking about, it's super anoying when you have to explain everything.

    • @ebbyc1817
      @ebbyc1817 3 года назад +9

      'takes stupid to pick stupid tho 😀😊

    • @ceesno9955
      @ceesno9955 3 года назад +2

      @@ebbyc1817 it takes a "certain type of " stupid..to be with stupid.

    • @ebbyc1817
      @ebbyc1817 3 года назад

      @@ceesno9955 😀

    • @zoewhite2958
      @zoewhite2958 3 года назад +1

      What’s his name I think he’s funny

    • @princessonuoha79
      @princessonuoha79 3 года назад +1

      @@zoewhite2958 According to the description and the left corner of the video clip when he starts - Nate Bargatze, and the video name is Tennessee Kid.

  • @manasvisharma4990
    @manasvisharma4990 3 года назад +6

    Okay Christina P is SO FRICKING GORGEOUS. Like ooh mama! 👀

  • @angelworley6442
    @angelworley6442 3 года назад +12

    100!!! These Brother's on point!🔥

  • @honkingantalope
    @honkingantalope 2 года назад +2

    That Christina P joke is right off a cold opening from king of Queens. It's about doug trying to find scissors and Carrie gets mad at him. Then she makes him look for them on his own and he finds them. Then right afterwards he asks where the tape is and she walks out of the room.

    • @timothystitzel5444
      @timothystitzel5444 2 года назад

      Or, it actually happened. Happens quite frequently in my marriage. I guess we are copying King of Queens?

  • @davidross8233
    @davidross8233 3 года назад +34

    I loved being married even though my ex wife despised me. I don’t know if I’ll ever know why I was happy under those circumstances.

    • @conorm2524
      @conorm2524 3 года назад +11

      You should do some soul searching about that. Could be some co-dependency issues.
      I spent about 4 years digging into myself on why I did what I did in my younger years. It helped me immensely.

    • @aztekempire
      @aztekempire 3 года назад +1

      that 🐱must feel real good, I can bet that

    • @Wise-Lady-La-Aura
      @Wise-Lady-La-Aura 3 года назад +1

      Hahaha! - Because almost every mouthy mean person wants you to say you were happy! People want married people to say they were happy or they fight with you. It's bizzare!!

    • @fredstriker2042
      @fredstriker2042 2 года назад +2

      Sounds like you could actually use some therapy. That is not healthy and extremely toxic

  • @rea_keebine
    @rea_keebine 2 года назад +5

    Chris is downright hilarious

  • @ToyaWilliams
    @ToyaWilliams 3 года назад +5

    These were hilarious!!!

  • @ekdaufin1485
    @ekdaufin1485 2 года назад +1

    Lots of laughs. Thank you.

  • @loridrblake9770
    @loridrblake9770 3 года назад +8

    Imagine the wedding scene in The Princess Bride, and the officiator "Mawwage..." Ugh
    I liked my marriage. Sometimes. I Love my kid, all the time. I'm a better parent without having to wrestle about parenting ideology over every decision or act. He's a person not a dog, a sofa, a car, or a house, a law degree, or a business. It's a shame that kids and marriages get mixed up together. It would be nice if it worked the ideal way: find the right, forever, one, build a life that'll take you through retirement and includes kids, and everything they come with and any hardships that can be overcome together. It's not kids fault, it's the fault of the relationship the marriage is based on, whatever it's irrational, invisible, or obvious issues. I didn't want to get married, but I wanted children. Then I found a good "donor" and we got married and for the sake of being all-in, I committed myself to an unjustifiable degree considering he did not do the same. And after 6 boring years of working and spending money we decided to reproduce (it was more romantic than I make it sound but it's still personal and I'm making a point) the hole fell out of the world for me when my kid was born and I was lost to a long term mental disorder - I was mentally out-of-order and he, the donor, couldn't cope. That whole "in sickness and unto death" thing? Yeah, I bought into it, he didn't sign, but, thank goodness for no-fault divorce, right? That's only been around about 55 years. (In the US) What do you think people did before that? Or if you're Catholic? I'm glad I'm free. I'd rather be in a "marriage" plutonically with a woman who's my best friend that I can Trust with my car, my cat, or my kidneys then married again to a man. I Love men. Have Loved men. Wish them well. Want more men friends. Just done with sex. Too much drama and misspent energy. (@ least with a partner, but even then, not so much). If you find your androgynous equalibrium, you'll probably be ok on your own with friends that can go home at the end of the day. So, marriage is pretty horrible the way I thought it was supposed to be, too many uncertainties for a lifelong commitment, you're supposed to agree not to give up on it, no matter how hard it sucks. But, we've got the divorce ticket - I'm not happy, ok bye. THAT'S WHY I WASN'T GOING TO DO IT. Guh, stupid hormones and idiosyncratic ideals! It's been almost 20 years since the mental disruption in my life and livelihood. Still divorced. He remarried before the ink dried on the certificate. She can have him.
    But, I chose a pretty good Donor, even if he couldn't commit. And I've got a great kid. I was the Mother he needed as much as I could be and we're still close. I vowed - just let me be the Mother he needs, not my needs, and the rest of my Life belongs to you, God. Amen.
    Marriage: if you're not in it for the Long haul to the grave, just milk that cow (or bull, make that analogy work any way you see fit). We screwed it all up, anyway

    • @timo891ify
      @timo891ify 3 года назад +1

      I understand

    • @kimberlyharshfield8629
      @kimberlyharshfield8629 3 года назад

      😐 bummer.... (i think... ?)

    • @jamesmaddison4493
      @jamesmaddison4493 3 года назад

      Hello pretty
      How are you doing?

    • @BG-sq7zf
      @BG-sq7zf 3 года назад

      What most simps, feminist fe/males, white-knights, betas and conservative guys fail to realize: bad boys provide excitement, novelty, unpredictability and fun (fear, roller-coaster drama) to a new level. In other words, stability and commitment (no longer) won't cut it for today's 🦄. Why is that? Before she was your girlfriend, wife or lover, she already had been "run through" so many guys. And each time she slept with someone (both wo/men), she lost a part of her psyche, well-being or mind/soul/spirit. In other words, she is no longer able to have emotional attachment in a healthy or committed way.
      *Sex and Culture* by Joseph Daniel Unwin
      *The Rational Male Series* by Rollo Tomassi
      *The Manipulated Man* by Esther Vilar
      *The Myth of Male Power* by Warren Farrell
      *The Feminist Lie: It Was Never About Equality* by Bob Lewis
      *Anatomy of Female Power* by Chinweizu Ibekwe
      *Men on Strike* by Helen Smith
      *Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars: An Introductory Programing Manual* by Anonymous
      Isaiah 3:12
      *Childish* leaders oppress my people, and *women* rule over them. O my people, your leaders mislead you; they send you down the wrong road.
      Proverbs 31:3
      Don't give your strength (attention, resources, mental point origen) to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings.
      Ezekiel 23:20
      There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
      Feminist's Ideology from Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook:
      "My advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier."

  • @ekdaufin1485
    @ekdaufin1485 2 года назад +3

    The Shining joke had me choking laughing.

  • @MiloFan77
    @MiloFan77 3 года назад +9

    8:05 I figured this one out. Men ask where things are cos women move things all the time. A man will put something away and a women will come along and go "that should not go there" and move it. The man will come later to the place he put it and when he realizes it is not there he will ask.

    • @aspoon0926
      @aspoon0926 3 года назад

      Just try putting it in the right place and she won’t have to move it.😀😀. Just kidding. I’m a married woman for 29 years and if I suddenly woke up as a man, I would NEVER marry-EVER!!! I don’t understand how you guys put up with us.

    • @banu0245
      @banu0245 3 года назад

      Do you ask why she moved it? Do you offer other places, that is better in your opinion? If not, then how woman should know, if you intentially put it where it was or just left it and forgot?

    • @turnerburner922
      @turnerburner922 3 года назад

      Hahaha you are exactly right!

    • @turnerburner922
      @turnerburner922 3 года назад

      My wife just moves it without telling me, I’m always surprised.lol

  • @RebeccaLynnMusic
    @RebeccaLynnMusic 3 года назад +5

    Great compilation!

    • @jamesmaddison4493
      @jamesmaddison4493 3 года назад

      Hello pretty
      How are you doing?

    • @RebeccaLynnMusic
      @RebeccaLynnMusic 3 года назад +1

      @@jamesmaddison4493 I see that you 🤖 write this to multiple women. You might want to rethink that. Mr. Robot.

  • @MorskotoOko
    @MorskotoOko 2 года назад +3

    For the last comedian case: Please always say what you mean. That goes both ways. You don’t ask - What time do you leave. You ask - what time do you fly? Her response therefore will and must be the exact time. That's the best way to communicate. Use simple words. Don't expect the other to know what you mean. Don't expect the other to speak your way. Talk to each other in a simple understandable way. It's so easy.

  • @faegrrrl
    @faegrrrl 2 года назад

    "Kittens Without Whiskers" 🤣😂

  • @karriefowler2321
    @karriefowler2321 2 года назад +6

    I absolutely adore Dave Chappelle 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @jasonyoung8734
    @jasonyoung8734 3 года назад +4

    That last dude killed!

  • @lynngriesemer4940
    @lynngriesemer4940 3 года назад +22

    Sometimes comedians poke fun at marriage and are vulgar and crude about it. I like the comedians who are realistic and point out the positive side of marriage. Dry Bar comics are a little more positive.

    • @finaltouchpro648
      @finaltouchpro648 3 года назад +1

      Dry Bar is lit!

    • @fredstriker2042
      @fredstriker2042 2 года назад +1

      Sadly it's almost impossible to not be vulgar and crude because most of the jokes that come from marriage regard sex and the lack thereof.

    • @Aint_no_senators_son
      @Aint_no_senators_son 2 года назад

      Positive? The best part of marriage is a divorce. I'm positive about that.

    • @fredstriker2042
      @fredstriker2042 2 года назад +3

      @@Aint_no_senators_son truth. There is not one benefit for a man in a marriage and the list of risks is endless

  • @luckylib
    @luckylib 3 года назад +2

    I needed this.

  • @WowUsernameAvailable
    @WowUsernameAvailable 2 года назад +4

    Jen's point about farting is so true: it's not intimacy, it's disrespect.

    • @misterb1132
      @misterb1132 2 года назад

      Why hold it in for two hours like on your first few dates?

  • @robins.9700
    @robins.9700 2 года назад +1

    Woo Chris is getting too real...i gotta have my husband watch this 🤣

  • @broaddusmarines
    @broaddusmarines 3 года назад +5

    I could watch three hours of this.

  • @EnoughAndToSpare
    @EnoughAndToSpare 3 года назад +6

    Nate is so freaking funny 😅🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @MakotheMaineCoon
    @MakotheMaineCoon 3 года назад +8

    People need to think. Stop giving into feelings.

    • @michaelblue6150
      @michaelblue6150 3 года назад +1

      Thinking is hard work, that's why most don't do it

  • @matrix_1749
    @matrix_1749 2 года назад +2

    Tracy Morgan is the inventor of sit-down comedy lol.

  • @rickjames4031
    @rickjames4031 3 года назад +3

    Dave Chappell got that building a case line from Patrice O’Neil

  • @jeramiahcox6976
    @jeramiahcox6976 Год назад

    My wife and I do the grocery shopping together, we work together to make the list, I put the groceries away. The beef jerky she needed will only be placed in ONE place (pantry). I still get calls at work, mid afternoon, asking where her jerky went, or worse, I find it 6 months later, and she forgot it existed. It goes both ways ladies!

  • @michaelblue6150
    @michaelblue6150 3 года назад +3

    Comedians speak the truth

  • @latifajenkins6547
    @latifajenkins6547 3 года назад +15

    I want you to talk like regular people lol

  • @PANCHOVILLAMATO
    @PANCHOVILLAMATO 3 года назад +42

    Funny to hear men who have failed miserably in THEIR MARRIAGES try to tell the rest of us marriage is no good. I think I see the problem.

    • @alabidavid4674
      @alabidavid4674 3 года назад +3

      @@tayolenson2268 15 year old, huh? Get some perspective about life from these men. The stats don't look good.
      I think the lesson is to protect yourself in any relationship. A girl's gonna try to break your heart, and you might be caught off guard if you ignore some of these signs
      .

    • @JCJW101
      @JCJW101 3 года назад +2

      @@tayolenson2268 Your mindset is absolutely ripe for getting screwed over in relationships. If you don't learn from other people's mistakes your destined to make them yourself.

    • @BG-sq7zf
      @BG-sq7zf 3 года назад

      What most simps, feminist fe/males, white-knights, betas and conservative guys fail to realize: bad boys provide excitement, novelty, unpredictability and fun (fear, roller-coaster drama) to a new level. In other words, stability and commitment (no longer) won't cut it for today's 🦄. Why is that? Before she was your girlfriend, wife or lover, she already had been "run through" so many guys. And each time she slept with someone (both wo/men), she lost a part of her psyche, well-being or mind/soul/spirit. In other words, she is no longer able to have emotional attachment in a healthy or committed way.
      *Sex and Culture* by Joseph Daniel Unwin
      *The Rational Male Series* by Rollo Tomassi
      *The Manipulated Man* by Esther Vilar
      *The Myth of Male Power* by Warren Farrell
      *The Feminist Lie: It Was Never About Equality* by Bob Lewis
      *Anatomy of Female Power* by Chinweizu Ibekwe
      *Men on Strike* by Helen Smith
      *Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars: An Introductory Programing Manual* by Anonymous
      Isaiah 3:12
      *Childish* leaders oppress my people, and *women* rule over them. O my people, your leaders mislead you; they send you down the wrong road.
      Proverbs 31:3
      Don't give your strength (attention, resources, mental point origen) to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings.
      Ezekiel 23:20
      There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
      Feminist's Ideology from Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook:
      "My advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier."

    • @ReasonAboveEverything
      @ReasonAboveEverything 2 года назад

      Yeah. Most of them fail and so will propably you.

    • @misterb1132
      @misterb1132 2 года назад

      Why is it the "men" who have failed miserably?

  • @SinfidelityMusic
    @SinfidelityMusic 3 года назад

    Anyone know who the last comedian was?

  • @tas22222
    @tas22222 3 года назад +6

    Adore Chris !! Mike

  • @thestuffoflegenddanielloer7883
    @thestuffoflegenddanielloer7883 3 года назад +1

    Seinfeld & Romano have comedic quality that doesnt require shock value or excessive vulgarity to get laughs. They are legends.

  • @dude371121
    @dude371121 3 года назад +4

    Birbiglia is out there sounding like Louie

  • @eeccee11
    @eeccee11 Год назад

    The popcorn 😂 so true

  • @tsg_frank
    @tsg_frank 3 года назад +4

    Marriage is a contract, you sign it to get recognized by the state as a couple/family, just don't do the contract, you can get the experience without the contract and with the added perk of "I won't have to worry about shit if things go south" like you can just leave each other and sort it out however needed

    • @fredstriker2042
      @fredstriker2042 2 года назад +3

      You are absolutely right but try telling that to a woman who's basically only marrying a man for the purpose of protection and resource provision vision. They're never going to do it because they get cash and prizes through that contract

    • @АнастасияРадкевич-о3у
      @АнастасияРадкевич-о3у 2 года назад

      @@fredstriker2042 women do this, women do that…its like a fairytale that one man says to another, but somehow I never heard a man talking about menopause and how not equal we are in this aspect. Marriage topic has many grey zones for both sides. There is no need to demonize, just respect the difference .

    • @fredstriker2042
      @fredstriker2042 2 года назад +1

      @@АнастасияРадкевич-о3у I am truly sorry if facts hurt your feelings. Outside of procreation, the primary reason women seek marriage is provision/protection. No different than men primarily procreation, and an exclusive sex partner. They aren't doing it for good conversation and shared interests.
      As for marriage, it's literally a statistical suckers bet for men on a cost benefit analysis. Any man doing it today is a fool. There is literally NOTHING a man gets from marriage That he can't get for free.

    • @АнастасияРадкевич-о3у
      @АнастасияРадкевич-о3у 2 года назад +2

      @@fredstriker2042 That’s a very cold answer. Sound like it was written by a person that doesn’t have any feelings or empathy. What goes only for specific individuals. Sorry if I wrong 😁
      Now let’s get back to the point
      The main governmental reason for marriage is to protects kids from being broke one day if father/mother decides to go different direction. Also the purpose of a marriage is to protect financially both sides in the future due to the fact that for years of living together there are many things being build thru relationship and both are investing time and resources.
      If that would be just IT, you would not see a man crying when purposing, or a woman in tears in a white dress. There is a big emotional contexts - as we are not machines. And I believe this aspect is much bigger than the first two for many couples.
      From your perspective with the facts you have in the list you can literally not do anything with your life as nothing in general makes sense just as a existence of humans.

    • @fredstriker2042
      @fredstriker2042 2 года назад

      @@АнастасияРадкевич-о3у I didn't say a damn thing that was "cold". You are simply reacting with emotion. I made 2 points above, the 1st being the primary reasons men and women seek each other out. I did not say that was the only reasons or that there was not other wonderful things that could happen between them, I simply stated reality for the overwhelming majority of men and women.
      My second point is in regards to the gender bias corrupt divorce court industry. Men are routinely destroyed in courts by the tens of millions. It's honestly a statistical sucker's bet based on divorce factual numbers. I'm not saying marriage is a bad thing. In fact I believe the nuclear family is one of humanities most important and wonderful wonders. But with State involvement it is corrupt and off balance

  • @Sandi-ke9mi
    @Sandi-ke9mi Год назад

    Lol, kittens without whiskers charity! Married 33 years and I still love him. Idk why he still puts up with me. 🥰

  • @qudavid1128
    @qudavid1128 3 года назад +9

    @3:10, I hope he doesn't eat 'it' that way 😄

  • @Gmp23
    @Gmp23 3 года назад

    Ok but the last one is so relatable !!

  • @nicelikejesus
    @nicelikejesus 3 года назад +5

    That Ray Romano stand up is hilarious.

  • @PhilomathWizard
    @PhilomathWizard 2 года назад +2

    After seeing comedians talking about marriage I've come to the conclusion that 1- People get married without getting to know the person they're dating. 2- Sex becomes water in a desert 3- You forget how to have fun.

    • @misterb1132
      @misterb1132 2 года назад

      That's pretty accurate. 55 and divorced twice. Have never been happier. Just me, my daughter, and my dog.

  • @its-MK...
    @its-MK... 2 года назад +8

    Seinfeld's joke about paintball vs live rounds works even better in a kids vs no kids scenario. Have you ever had a newborn and your friend is acting like dissecting a text from a guy she likes that says "what's up" is the most important thing in the world? It's hard to care anymore, Emily. I'm trying to keep a person alive on zero hours sleep. I dunno, may the Gods be ever in your favor, I guess.

    • @its-MK...
      @its-MK... 2 года назад

      Please don't get angry at me, I'm joking. Legitimate problems are valid regardless of your kid-status (but this joke was absolutely taken from real world experiences.)

  • @Mio248
    @Mio248 3 года назад +2

    That last one had me dying.