I admire your courage. I lost my wife to cancer last year and started using meth after almost eleven years clean from IV speedball use. In two months fentanyl and meth took me lower than fifteen years of heroin and coke. I was so naive. I'm almost ten months clean. Your story and attitude are inspirational. Thank you.
I don’t see how people can say anything negative about him when he’s clearly already hit rock bottom. The only way from here is up for him. I hope he has a great recovery.
@@_smurfitude I am sure his parents thought He learned his lessons after his meth/AIDS situation . I do have great sympathy for him, however some people tend to continue harming themselves in spite of the harm They bring themselves. I wish him the best and truly hope he doesn’t continue this activity or find another activity that is just as dangerous.
Meth addiction actually destroyed my life. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder, got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 3 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES very sure of Dr.alishrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Yes he's Dr.alishrooms.Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.
wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Only a sincere person has the courage to come out and share his story on so many levels. I commend you for stepping forward and spreading awareness. Best wishes on a full recovery.
@@florana5961 what's disgusting is you trying to take a dump on my comment, when you should just keep it moving if you don't agree with it! This ain't about you.....
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m an addictions counsellor in Hong Kong and I was very moved by your vulnerability and courage. We do recover. This too shall pass. I’m 8 years clean and sober. May your Higher Power bless you!🙏❤️🩹
Thank you very much for your kindness. It was a very enlightening experience for me, especially when I rebuild my life to a point where I can feel a clear sense of direction I start to realize and understand why I needed to do those things at the time and be able to accept this freak of accident. I eve have my own idea of approaching addiction based on my own experience and I will share in future videos.
@@fromcompulsiontoconsciousn5862 I just watched your video and it was very emotional and visceral for me because I am a recovering opiate addict and alcoholic for 8 and a half years now and I know how incredibly difficult it is to go through. I have had a few very close calls while being loaded and drunk to where I have broken my ankle and fell down a flight of stairs. I am praying for your healing of mind and body because you are worth so much more than this addiction and your life and story means so much to so many out there and means so much to me:) Lenor Lexann 💜💜💜
I always recite that passage And this Too Shall Pass Gods Mercy is always with us no matter what path we choose Thank You God for your unconditional love I will always serve. You ❤️❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼
Avoiding illicit drugs is a good idea, but I think when it comes to drugs, pornography, adultery, gambling -- basically anything you swear not to do or are sick of doing -- you've got to stay away from situations where your resolve might crumble. I mean, if you're partying and party favors are taken out, it can be very hard to be a buzzkill then. It's usually much easier to avoid a scene entirely or refuse to take the first few steps on the road to ruin than it is to make a heroic goal line stand in a situation when saying no will be seen as weird, disappointing, etc... And this is true of positive actions as well: If you make all the preliminary steps needed to perform an action, the action will typically follow. I'll bet if you grab your stuff, drive to the gym, get dressed, then warm up, 99+% of the time a workout will follow. Anyway, we all sort of know this, intuitively. Maybe I just wanted to remind myself...
This is so brave. “We are as sick as our secrets”… I hope you are getting better ,mind ,body and soul every single day!!! You seem like a very sweet person.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s so important to do so. I was selling my body, using IV heroin and living on the streets for over 10 years. I’m now 4 1/2 years clean and sober. We Do Recover!!!
Awesome girl I got 4and a half clean from slamming meth and being homeless to and some times I would turn trick's in my crack nightmare then I got hooked on meth so much cheaper and so damaged my mind I'm learning how to live and some things I've been relearning ❤️
Hi Alex, I am so sorry this happened to you. I am blown away by your courage. Sharing this could not have been easy. This is 2023 now, and I'm hoping you're doing alright.
Your heart felt plea to others to cherish life & better things to do besides drugs made me stop and notice, increased my awareness of life, how far I’ve come & how merciful & faithful GOD has been to me. Every new day is a gift…Thank You!
My brother died in 2020 from methamphetamine toxicity from shooting too big of a load. They found him 7-10 days later. I had to help clean out his apartment. It smelled of his decomposing body the whole time. It was pretty traumatic. Thanks for being a survivor.
@tayloralvidrez4342 It’s pretty hard to “overdose” on stimulants. Part of the concern is for cardiac issues, but meth can cause plenty of other potentially lethal issues (such as serotonin syndrome) and AFAIK doesn’t have the same cardiotoxicity that cocaine does, since cocaine is also an anesthetic so it can interfere with heart rhythms directly.
I always thought it hard to od on stimulants as well, until it happened to my brother and that was his cause of death. He apparently told a girlfriend he would probably kill himself when he got his covid stimulus money. That's exactly what he did. I know it wasn't suicide because we found his stash and he still had plenty stashed. It's sad. I miss him.
It says alot about a man that can share his real raw, unfiltered story with the whole world. I have so much respect for you and your share. I have been clean off meth for almost 4 years and I NEEDED to hear this to remind me of what it was like. Please keep sharing because your story because it's going to save lives....
I assume that’s what he meant by “brokeback” rather than “bearback”. Otherwise I’m glad this video came on my feed. I had just relapsed the day before yesterday and again yesterday after 2 weeks of sofriedy and now this has scared me straight to the point I’m completely willing to give up homosexual behaviors and methamphetamine altogether now and repent spiritually of those sins. Meth is what drove up the homoseuxal behaviors although in rare occasions I could have them on weed, alcohol or even sober. But homosexuality and drug addiction are both sins in my opinion that will destroy anybody. One must spiritually lose any desire to engage in any of those behaviors if they want to get saved.
@@kobold7763how’s that turning out for you? I agree that drug use can be “sinful” if you’re hurting other people or directly putting others in danger by driving or whatever else. But how can a natural human behavior be “sinful”? If animals do it and little boys do it before they even understand religion and sin, then why is it so immoral for you? I’m just saying brother, I think it’s more helpful to sobriety to accept yourself for who you are and not what some jagoff put down in a book 1000 years ago that was interpreted by some other jagoff 100 years ago. Seriously, if it’s in nature then that means your god crested it, right? So he/they/it make animals engage in same sex sexual activity but it’s going to send you to hell? Not bloody likely
@James Patrick For those of us who prefer the temporary pain of the truth for a more honest existence in relations and society, we'll never understand them, despite their explanations. Best I've seen for our case is Jordan Peterson's suggestion that we not tell falsehoods or at the least go against our conscience as that leads to disintegration (lack of integrity), as per Carl Rogers. It's the harder path but if enough of us do it, and teach our children, perhaps eventually change can be made.
I admire you and your courage to openly speak about your addiction. People who aren’t addicts have no clue how tough it is to admit that your an addict, its definitely not easy. I became addicted to pain pills way back in 2008, I did a lot of things that I’ll forever be ashamed of and now I’ve been sober since 2016. Keep your head up buddy we are all here for you.
Thank you for taking the time to watch my story and to leave comments. That means a lot to me. I do encounter people who do not have much understanding and experience to addiction and blame and judge drug users for their own miseries. I hope by reaching out to those people, we can have better understandings of things and of each other so I try to respond comments especially negatives one in hope that they can read it. Drugs are coping mechanisms we discovered in life to help escape but instead of trying to find what we are running away from we are targeting on the coping mechanism itself. The drug is not the problem, the problem is that we have a strong emotional craving only the drug can calm. We need to find the demon behind the craving and that demon is what we are running away from. So you were trying to hide from your demon and you did things you were not proud of. But you need to know that you were not a good place at the time and you shouldnt judge yourself in normal standards. Instead, tell yourself that it was ok to do these things as you were in your best shape when those decisions were made. Dont let your past determine the way you look at yourself now, be kind to yourself as the same as you are being kind to me, please do this for both me and you!
@@fromcompulsiontoconsciousn5862 Thankyou for that very eloquent response. Would you let us know when your devastating injury occured, and if you've regained any feeling or movement below your chest area please? I'm sending you love and wishing you peace.
I am also an addict and I have done so many unhealthy scary things. Drugs have made me make so many bad choices that have impacted my life forever. I think one of the most important things is to have some sober support. It’s so important to know there are people who understand and CARE about you. I could feel your pain through your video and even more I could hear how important it is to you to get your message out there, that there is life without drugs. I wish all the best for you. You don’t know me and will probably never meet or even talk to me but I want you to know your message was received and I thank you! Bless you! T.
@@HollyGolightly1976I'm an addict too. I don't know how to get clean. I've progressed over the last 10 yrs to fentanyl now. Ppl don't understand the emotional pain drug addicts feel and use drugs to numb. Im praying for you, him, myself and all addicts. No one would choose this lifestyle. Sending love to you all.
@@bunnyluver2176 Get yourself to a respectable program to start, one with a medical detox onsite, I did it 7 times for heroin, Xanax and booze, tough trio to kick but I finally did it after 10 years of abuse, 8 years clean now. Good luck you can do it.
Oh my God. I’m a sober amphetamines addict. I lost a lot. Lost the ability to have children through my addiction. And lost time with my father before he died. But I never had this one. Blessings to you. Thank you for being here
I'm so sorry for your time lost with your Father ....i can relate and I'm having a very hard time with this and the guilt i carry ....thank you for sharing and God bless you !! I'm sure your a great person.
As a recovery alcoholic with 10 years of sobriety…The courage it took for this gentleman to step forward and share his story is unbelievable… Not only did this drug take away his freedom to walk, it sounds as if it has created and assisted in many other health issues for him… I wish you only the best in your years to come. Thank you for getting the word out there about this despicable drug.
He is so very brave and courageous to care about maybe helping someone else avoid a bad situation like he is in. I can only imagine the heartbreak he feels knowing he did this to himself as we all often do. He is worthy of a good life and I hope he knows this and accepts this fact as much as he feels he did something shameful he also is doing something very good!
Was it the drug or the gay lifestyle? He was obviously doing unsafe sex with multiple men to get HIV, then some gay guys literally broke his back during group sex. Sounds like the gay lifestyle is very risky.
Damn this mans was going THRU it. Jfc. I see this was 2 years ago but hope this dude is still with us and doing a whole lot better. Takes a lot to speak the truth and take accountability like he did. Deserves a lot more than that hospital bed and I hope he found it 💯💯🙌🏼
You're a really really really brave person, I really admire you. You're gonna recover and be better in time. All the bad in life fades and becomes a memory, and in time even the memory fades, too. You got this
Hello there, Thank you very much for taking the time to listen to my story and to comment on it. That means a lot to me. I recovered a lot and still have a bit more to go. Its only a matter of time getting back to where I was. Thank you very much for your kindness!
Please stay strong, forgive yourself and learn from this. None of us are perfect. Life can be so stressful and certain things which have happened to us can be difficult to deal with and you just want to escape the pain. Please stay focused and thank you so much for sharing your story. I hope others can learn and take something from this, even if it can help just one person. I wish you all the love and happiness moving forward and please look after yourself x
Thank you for sharing yr story. I’m sorry this happened to you. I am 42 and in active addiction. I hope to someday be in long term recovery. You’re story is another warning for us to stop!
Marcelina you, and only you, will know when the time is right for recovery. Just try not to be blind to when the time comes. It's so easy to ignore signs telling us ...OK the time is now. God bless
Severe your ties with anyone you know who uses and ask God to get you thru take one day at a time force yourself to get up everyday and do something proactive even if it's taking a walk or reading a book take one day at a time each day your off it will get better the cravings will subside after a week and by the end of week two you will start to feel like your real self by week three you will be free from it's grasp and have your energy back you can do this the first five days all you will want to do is sleep , force yourself up And out of bed sleep no more than 10 hours day because trust me it will get you regulated faster . Ginseng and caffeine helped me get thru that first week and vitamin B12 is awesome I take a sublingual liquid form it goes into your bloodstream immediately and gives you a great boost if you can get your Dr. To administer a B 12 shot that's even better also get some beet juice knudsen makes a great one it's really great for restoring your blood it provides your blood cells with some very important nutrients you won't find otherwise. You can do this pal you got this!!
So much love to you. I was a meth slammer for about 5 yrs. Before that, it was H. So 10 yrs total of addiction cycles. I ended up getting a heart infection. Was in the hospital for 30 days. Then after I got out I did it again, but this time I got an infection attacking a heart valve. I almost needed a valve transplant, but I got lucky. Clearly what I was doing, my body wasn't tolerating anymore, infection would be a constant issue, so I finally stopped to save my life. Clean for 3 yrs. I'm so sorry, that you're decisions left you very scathed, I don't understand how I made it out ok. I feel so blessed, but I often feel enormous guilt and shame, pain, for my decisions that comes with drug use territory. Life is beautiful, and we do recover, and I hope you're doing better, as this is an older video. Just remember you are a divine, beautiful being, I see this in you through this video. You remind me of how amazing humans really are, and how easily we dismiss ourselves as such. ❤❤❤
I am clean sober since august. my last time I had hallucinations that i had internal bleeding and i crawled up into a ball in my bed and didn't call an ambulance outof sheer shame and regret. I'm never touching that stuff again. i'm sorry you had to break your back to reach a turning point. the depression afterwards is extremely difficult to get through. I hope you recover. thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Its great to know that I am not alone and we both can process the shame in using meth to the point of sharing with others! But when I realized there was a need and purpose in using meth to fulfill a part of me which I could not satisfy at the time, then I no longer felt shame because it was something I needed at the time. More info in new video :)
Some of the shit being sold these days is even more dangerous than anything seen prior. Some designer drugs are being sold as meth, flakka, Bathsalts etc. Last time I ever touched the crap was years ago, I took one hit off of a pipe, and I hallucinated uncontrollably. I saw shit for 2 days, literal monsters and dinosaurs popping out of the trees. And I had a guest cabin below my house, me and my girlfriend had 20 acres in the mountains, and I watched as a man walked up to the cabin and attached a team of oxen to it, and started pulling the cabin away, then a helicopter swooped down and hooked up to it lifted the cabin and i watched as it disappeared. Saw similar things for 2 days, also for around 4 days after i saw flashlights shining randomly from the woods at night. Also would randomly see lights in the shape of a ceiling fan in my field of vision, and they would spin and flutter off into the sky. One other thing that happened was that I heard radio stations in my head for about 5 days. But the scariest part about that was that they were actual radio stations. I could hear the song playing, and would hear the announcer say the radio station name. And everytime I tuned in on that station, it was the exact thing I had been hearing in my head. Did it 6 different times just to confirm. I never thought I would stop hearing the radio. But luckily it went away. Had no desire to ever touch that bs again after that. It had never caused auditory and visual hallucinations for me before. Visual typically happen after using for days on end without sleep. That wasn't the case here. They put all sorts of strange crap in it these days. And I want no part of it. Now they're selling p2p meth everywhere. But the low income area's are being flooded with flakka. And people are losing their minds on it. Or they end up dying of a heart attack because they take too much. No more drugs for me. 10 years clean from heroin coming up very soon. Another thing kids have to worry about these days is all the fentanyl. They're putting that crap in every drug known to man. No thank you. I chose life over death, or insanity. Glad you made it through this. Hope it will teach you to never even think about using substances ever again. It's just not worth the risk
@@fromcompulsiontoconsciousn5862 Thanks for sharing your story! I really think you are brave and courageous with strangers for sharing something that's personal. You have nothing to be ashamed of! I know with you sharing your story it's going to help so many people. I'm in a wheelchair myself! It's a bit getting use to. I can't walk anymore.My heart and prayers go out to you! I hope 1 day you can be a motivational speaker to help so many other's like yourself. Thanks again for sharing and being so brave! Your friend for life! (Pooh Bear)
You shouldn't be ashamed we all make silly mistakes. The anecdote alone is legendary: "I got rammed so hard it broke my back" 💀 I hope you have recovered and are living well now. ❤
This is terrifying, I had no idea meth could do this. I have my own horrible experiences with it and I absolutely hate it. It ruined a huge chunk of my life. I am proud of you for telling your story. Please heal your body and never touch the stuff again. 🙏
I think he broke his back due to sex not meth, the meth did prevent him from feeling anything was wrong, he would have told told to stop before it got that bad...
The dude was obviously doing something extremely extra to be having gay sex and get a broken back from it. It wasn't like injecting meth directly did that to him. Would have been interesting if he would have said how it actually happened. Either way, the guy has HIV and is having sex with multiple ppl. Clearly just spreading it around. Dirty ass mf'er.
14 yrs sober & 3 yrs clean & sober bisexual girl here. Your story was so relatable and I just wish I could give you a great big hug 💜. When I was in active addiction I injured myself in many ways including endocarditis, pulmonary emboli, sepsis, hospital aquired MRSA, double lung pneumonia, two overdoses and led me to situations where I received more trauma (medical trauma/malpractice/abuse, a r*pe that caused permanent damage and multiple broken bones, dislocations, black eyes and stitches/staples). I started using to begin with because I have several very severe health conditions & chronic pain that wasn't being properly addressed or address. The stigma around drug or drink related injuries is still VERY much alive. They treat us quite poorly in hospital and the only thing we can do is advocate for ourselves and share our stories. Thank you so much for being vulnerable, brother. It means a lot to so many people to be honest about who you are and show that we can and do recover. We especially need role models who are disabled and LGBTQ+ I wish you all the best in your recovery. Don't rush it, you've been through a lot and right now I hope you are in a position for some self-TLC. *Virtual Hugs 🤗" .
I never thought about the way anyone would be treated less than bc of addiction related health issues. I can’t believe that anyone would have to endure any judgement in a hospital. That is just awful especially considering those are the ones would could probably use just alittle more kindness and patience. It hurts my heart to think that this is going on. Maybe hearing more accounts of these stories to shed light on this injustice. It shouldn’t matter why or how a person hurts themselves or gets hurt they deserve as much love attn and compassion as the next person. I have so much respect for anyone to put their personal journey on public forums like RUclips. Congrats on the sober and clean living. I have never had any addiction aside from tobacco but I can have full compassion for any addiction and recovery. We all have our own journey to learn from to help and above all be heard and respected no matter where we find ourselves !! Both your story and the original post is very brave and heartfelt. ❤️
That whole 14 years thing? You shouldn't really count that anymore. It's irrelevant. The 3 is the relevant number. Also, what does your sexuality have to do with ANY of this? You said your drug use was bc of something else. Why mention your sexual preference? Get your shit together by keeping it real. Quit the attention seeking bullshit. You can do this. Yes, I've been addicted to drugs. Boy and girl(slang in Texas for blow and heroin). I know exactly how you have felt. I feel like I'm talking shit, but I also feel like you might need to hear it. Sorry 'bout that. However, I also realize no two addicts are exactly the same(but that's only bc no two people(besides twins) are exactly alike), so it may not be as easy for others to think the way I do in order to get past the bullshit. Nobody's story is the same. To be fair tho, I'm only telling you things any sponsor worth half a shit would tell you. "I don't need you to like me, I just need you to understand." That kinda shit. Feel me? Tough love works, as much as it sucks. And I love you, fellow human. I wish you nothing but success. Try microdosing psychedelic mushrooms or LSD. Or Kratom. If it helps the overall perspective of where I'm coming from....I am an incomplete quadriplegic. I can't move very far without help. I have real fucking problems lol. And this happened after I got over my addictions. So if i tell you it's easy, maybe it is. Bc nothing is as hard as waking up completely paralyzed and trying to learn how to do everything again. But i got thru that, as well. So I should know.... right? You might just think I'm a complete asshole. And you'd probably be right lol. Either way, take it easy. It's the only way to take it! *that double talk "sober/ sober clean" NA/AA talk is what got me started. That's just nonsense that cult told you to keep you reliant on anyone but yourself to keep yourself clean. Everything is a choice. EVERYTHING. Idgaf what any group says.
@@desireechurchill747 + some if not many in the medical field, are like those in the teaching profession who only want to help those who seem to want it & value it. For many students who are struggling & failing due to undiagnosed learning disabilities &/or abuse situations at home, that they've been brainwashed not to talk about, they then can't communicate that they need help, or why. So they just struggle & fail. I was one of those. A lot of teachers do nothing to help these students, & decide they must not want help. In medical professions, they are about helping people live & survive, so a lot of them have no patience or time for "those who are just trying to destroy their lives....".
I just want you to know you are an inspiration to other people who are struggling. My boyfriend and soulmate of over 20 years had a fatal heart attack brought on by years of meth abuse. I have to live the guilt of never knowing if things could have been different if I had convinced him to get help. I am beyond devastated. He died in January and I’m still a wreck. I am glad you are still alive to tell your story. Please stay strong and keep telling your story, you could change/save someone’s life.
Wow. Just wow. I'm so impressed with your strength of character and selfless intent. You really touched me and I've read the comments and I'm not alone. You're that lone pebble in the pond, sending out ever increasing ripples as your story touches so many. I hope you see that you are shame-proof after telling your incredibly traumatic story. I do so hope that, in time, you find healing. You truly deserve it! Thank you, so so much!
I was a heavy, heavy daily user of meth for 10 years, also heroin. I'm now 28 and 3 years sober from meth. Almost 2 years from heroin. You're so lucky you had tweakers that at least cared around you. If that would've happened to me back when I was using I probably would've got left used up and broke backed in that hotel room all alone bc the other ppl got too sketched to call for help. I've seen people die bc of this. Truly a sad world we live in where people are too scared to save a life bc they are high or have drugs on them. Even though we have a law that protects drug users now from persecution. Anyway I'm glad you're recovering bro. Stay strong. You can get through this and don't worry about relapsing. No reason to beat yourself up we are all only human.
Wauw , you could stop meth and heroin ! I have never used myself but the subject interests me . It must be incredebly difficult 1 ) to stop these substances and 2 ) face life without it . I watch a lot of interviews with addicts . Some of them I began to like and feel so sorry for them . Happy to hear that you could ! Good luck ! Wouter
My dealer took me to the hospital and he gave me some money he was so scare that day My parents knew about my adiction even when i just use it for party never in normal days or schedule. That was in 2017 i still smoking im not going to lie but just 1 day at week. If my friend dont call me then i stop
Yeah I saw this dude die and everyone was so sketched out and worried about getting in trouble, no one called for help, even if he was able to receive care eventually, he was absolutely brain dead (his skull was crushed in and could witness brain matter) Still bothers me, but my therapist tells me during her using years, she probably would have done the same. Almost 6 yrs clean from heroin, so glad I never got into fent. I did get a laced bar once and ended up getting narcanned in ER, gotta test everything with fent strips these days. I’ve had 18 friends OD and pass and for many years thought I was next…
Hey bro! Scary how something intended to he fun can end so differently. Truly sorry. Im an addict myself, and spend most of my time trying to educate and reduce stigma regarding addiction. I appreciate your openness and honesty as your story may help save somebody or many people. God speed on your healing and I hope better days are very near much love
There are plenty of unkind comments here and while I understand most people’s tendency to demonize what they don’t understand, I’m also very familiar with the struggles associated with addiction and how they’re not simply the result of a “moral failing”. My addiction was to opiates, but as someone who was also prescribed Adderall (which is nothing more than amphetamines in pill form) for many years, I can also certainly understand the allure. I hope you continue to heal, I hope that you are able to leave your addictions in the past, and more than all of that, I hope that you’ve retained your sense of self-worth and that you’ve not been diminished by the cuts caused by all the daggers thrown your way by people who either can’t or simply refuse to empathize with your story. Hang in there ❤️
That’s why I’m so passionate about surrounding myself with others, like me, who have struggled with addictions. It’s like being an Untouchable. I think the way we are treated is at least as toxic as the drugs, themselves. The street drugs are especially stigmatized. If addiction was understood as a problem in of brain functioning, not a character problem, more people would quit, but we become attached to the subculture because of how we are treated elsewhere. Channels like this keep me going.
It has been 6 months since u have posted this. I hope my comment finds u in better condition and on the road to recovery of the use of your legs hopefully. Hang in there. U have already proven u r a strong person mentally. Write a book now or do more videos of awareness and share your experiences with many. Hopefully your words will help others. God bless u and much love.
Alex, you are a brave young man. It takes a lot of courage to lay your life bare for all to see. I realize I’m writing this some time after you recorded and I’m sure you’re on your way to recovery and a better life with such a great attitude. Blessings ❤
I’m sending you nothing but pure love & I pray you find peace & healing as soon as possible. I contracted HIV in 2017 being a little too spontaneous at just 18 years old. I was in a very toxic relationship with an older man & I will never forget my mother’s cry when I told her, it was that much more heartbreaking. I also had a cocaine addiction a couple years following that ordeal which brought upon schizophrenia. I’m on meds today that treat both conditions & I’m finally finding my way back to my authentic state of mind & finally starting to recognize me for me again. The rain doesn’t last forever - Love yourself more than any vices or relationships that you know aren’t healthy! Life is so precious and we take it’s beauty for granted when we don’t honor ourselves. Everybody stay safe 🙏🏽🕊
It is not easy sharing things like this, and just.. thank you so much for allowing us to hear your story. I hope you get all the help you need to recover, both mentally, and physically. What an amazing person you are. When you started to tear up at the end, it broke my heart. I hope and pray that the very best comes to you. Thank you so much, again for sharing and opening up in such a public place. Stay strong. You got this.
Thank you listening to my story and your sympathy. It means a lot to me! It was definitely not easy to share what really happened but if I dont share it might have eaten me alive. There were so much shame in drug abuse and people just get sucked into their own fear of prejudice and discrimination from others. But for me, I just no longer wish to be bound by my own shame anymore.
I came across this by chance and went to your channel to check how you're doing - I see a recent reply from you to someone which pleased me. I'm so glad you made it through this and I sincerely wish you all the best from here on in your life. Very courageous to share this; good luck for the future Alex. Life IS such a blessing.
Instead of feeling shame, you should feel grateful that you've gotten another chance, and use that to stay clean. Good luck on your journey, and remember, shame shouldn't be with you during this recovery, only resolve to stay clean and hope for the future. Thanks for sharing!
All those feelings are appropriate to this situation, shame included. You can't change without acknowledging that who you were before wasn't who you should be.
Awesome testimony of what this poison does to our minds and bodies. Some of us are still trying to find our way out but hearing what your experience is like is an eye opener. Stay strong, take care!
Personally i think u very brave to talk about what happened to u in hope that someone else won't go down the path that u did & end up where u have. That takes guts my friend. U r what i consider a real man!! . U should b very proud of urself. I wish u all the best & hope u have a swift recovery. I'll b praying u do much better than u've been told & end up better off, physically, than maybe u've been told u will. Ur the best my friend & I'm so proud of u for sharing ur story. 💛🖤💛
Thank you for sharing your story. you're a fucking brave person and I respect the living hell out of you. I'm an ex-heroin addict myself. I couldn't imagine something like this. God bless you, your story will always be with me.
I don't know what compelled me to watch this but I'm glad I did. I just feel pure love for your beautiful soul. I believe you will make a full recovery, I had a vision of this while watching you. You're such a beautiful spirit, please fight to stay in the light. Read this if you feel you need a boost. I'm in New York but I'd come visit with you in a heartbeat.
You are the absolute sweetest, not too mention, very brave! ❤ I hope your recovery continues and from one addict (I have been clean for almost 7 years now from IV heroin) to another, you can do it. I wish I could give you a hug! ❤ You got this my friend! ❤
You're an amazing person inside and out. God made you to have a purpose and by sharing your story you have reached me. I'm 5 1/2 years clean and sober and was planning on doing acid this weekend but I've changed my mind. Im going to stay clean because I'm worth it and I'm not finished I've only just begun life at 41. Thank you darlin🌈🌈❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Acid is not a narcotic or stimulant. Psychedelics are nothing like other drugs. Many people don't even consider them drugs. They aren't addictive and can give much personal insight. Im sorry that the war on drugs has brainwashed you so badly. Meth is meth. Acid is acid. You are dumb.
Man, this really gives me chills. By coming to your senses and realizing your life choices are so dire to your collective mindset. I really applaud your courage enough to come out and say what you just said. Prayers for your full recovery, my friend.
"I was so close to finding more meaning to my life, and then this happened..." Maybe, just maybe, this will end up being exactly what you were looking for.
You are probably the most brave person I've ever heard speak in my entire life.....and I've listened to many, many, MANY folks talk in my time. TRUST ME! I was so absorbed in, as well as inspirited by, your story. I can't fathom having gone through what YOU went through and then be courageous enough to get on social media to tell my story just to try to help others. You, Sir, are quite the hero in my book! I wish you a very quick recovery and I am praying for a COMPLETE and TOTAL HEALING of, not just your back, but your ENTIRE BODY and SOUL (including any addiction you may have). GOD SPEED, FRIEND!
That took alot of courage to share your story...! I had never even thought about getting injured while having sex on meth. Your message is an important one and I hope many will hear it...! Bless you...!
Wow. I had surgery on my spine too. Because of my heroin addiction. Hearing ur story is very relatable. I have been clean ever since. No better place to get clean than the hospital as they can make sure you're ok! Best of luck friend!
@gildedpeahen876 Congratulations on kicking your addiction. Since I've never heard of this before, would you enlighten us, as to how your heroin habit affected your spine, please?
Addictions can make one do crazy dangerous things that others could not possibly comprehend. All we can do is learn from our mistakes. Thank you for sharing your story so that others may learn from it.
@@patreed235 no he is not I have 3 years clean and sober living the best life I e ever lived in my 30 years on this earth and no one did it for me I did it my damn self. it's sad y'all act like your way of thinking is the only way to a good life, such a childish small minded way of looking at it.
@Days of Noah you are a fucking tool box buddy . Go read your fucking book and worship your sky god . Keep your head up your ass till you day , just keep that nonsense to your self bud. You are as clueless as the rest of the idiots that really believe this shit pfft. Hit the bottom and tell me again how Jesus will come save your pathetic ass pfft
@Days of Noah no I'm good I'll continue to live my best life and be grateful that I did it all myself thanks to my hard, work dedication and determination, no fictional characters or fairy tale books needed and I don't force my views on other people or judge people that don't have the same views as I like y'all hypocrites do. For Christ sake your priests touch little boys and get away with it because the church let's em, that's a fact whether you like it or not...if my simple/factual statement made you get in your feelings that much you should get some thicker skin cause the truth hurts little man lmfao.🤣👍💯
This video randomly showed up in my feed and it really breaks my heart because I know all too well how bad the drug issues can be in the gay/queer community. You have so much courage and all things considered you have such a great attitude. I think these encouraging words could really help a lot of people. We have all done regrettable things but we are all capable of change. I wish you only the best and I hope your body can heal itself ❤️
True, it is a struggle. I’ve had homosexual feelings from about age 15 onwards occasionally but I always thought of myself as mainly straight and identified as that. Once I tried meth at 18 those occurrences became intensified due the aphrodisiac sense of the drug, wether straight or gay but due to different nature or bodies, whatever you may think it is, men in the queer/lgbt have a higher propensity than other communities for this behavior. GHB (and ecstasy to a degree) as well as Meth and poppers (nitrates) are quite the problem and meth is by far the worse due to the destructive nature that coincides with its euphoria as well as the terrible emotional side effects that arise when one comes down or habitually uses it (it’s one of the few drugs that is a known neurotoxin along with ecstasy but unfortunately meth is able to abused more easily and has fewer potential therapeutic benefits; virtually no therapeutic except for severe obesity & adhd and even then it’s addiction liability generally outweighs the benefits). But the worse thing of meth IME are the blunting of non-animalistic behaviors (advanced learning/empathy; wonder etc.) which are more ultimately more rewarding and fulfilling than other lower acts such as sexual lust, bodily worship etc. I call those lower acts because if they are done repetitively without a loved one or trusted partner it can lend itself to serious problems (such as sex addiction) in one’s mental/physical health (not to mention stopping one’s emotion/spiritual development) such as std’s. And when one grows old that behavior will no longer be useful.
@@kobold7763 so I'm trans, I lived life as a gay man since I was 15 before I transitioned a couple years ago so that's why I say I know all too well about the issues in the gay community. I never did any of the really hard stuff, I was more of the alcoholic and poppers type, but I've had a lot of friends who've struggled with drugs.
I’m sorry to hear this happened. I could not bear to listen beyond the Broke back comment. 😢 Much love and blessings to your recovery and future. Thank you for opening up ❤
Thanks for sharing this. I was addicted to meth and sex for many years. It caused so much chaos and suffering. I was just lucky to escape with a scarred face and bad work history. It could have been much worse. I do think one of the worst parts is the shame. I'm from a shaming culture so I know how devastating the feeling is. Studies show that shame is shit and does damage whereas guilt is helpful because shame blames the person and guilt blames the action. Never blame yourself again, bro. It's just bad actions. Forgive yourself. Take care.
Believe it or not Alex, you are a blessing with your share that definitely is forcing many to stop or slow down on their spiral to tragedy. It's not a cliche but it takes a serious whopper of such dimension like your experience to wake many up from their slide of no return. Many blessings and you will triumph slowly but surely. Forgive yourself. We can only try our best in life. Stay strong. You matter. You are loved. Thanks for your gift of humanity, courage and sincerity. 😘❤️🙏😇
You are so brave for sharing your story, thank you for your vulnerability. I hope you get all the help that you need, and I hope you know and understand that you will have a long and fulfilling life. I am wishing you a steadfast recovery. My positive thoughts go out to you and your family.
“They broke my back!” and laughs. Good for you bro that you can still find the humor in such a horrific injury. Good luck my man, thank you for sharing your story!
There is NO humor AT ALL - in a person, or more than one person literally breaking another person's back because they are having out of control sex with them. That is horrific, violent & abusive.
@@michelleduncan9965 I think you are completely misunderstanding this comment. We can all agree that breaking someone’s back is not funny. However, there is a beauty and a healing in being able to smile and laugh at your own sad story. Just as crying can be therapeutic, so can laughing. I think this is all that was meant by this comment.
yes i thought the same thing i was like wow to still giggle a little after something like that happening tells a lot of about who he is and i think its a good thing
I love how he can’t imagine what his friends were going thru watching him, like you’re the one in the situation, and yet you still worry about others in such a situation. Try not to worry about others right now, worry about getting better
Alex...you are an exceptional human being with a beautiful soul and your courage and strength are so inspiring. Don't hang your head in shame, you have so much to offer. Stay strong, stay humbled by your life, but keep on fighting. You are capable of greatness. The world would be a better place with more people of your caliber. Thank you for opening up and bearing your soul. I'm touched and wish you the best in your life!
His strength is, after hiding this side of his life from family & friends he is revealing that rough gay sex literally broke his back & that meth led directly to that. I am not sure is you are trying to Troll or, are merely "thick." How could you not admire his strength, let alone be oblivious entirely to its existence?
@@rachamimslonimdwek2650 Thankyou so much for being a kind and empathetic human being! Unlike the far too many, who obviously think they are so superior, to this unfortunate young man.
Wow. I respect your willingness to be completely honest to not only the world but most importantly to yourself. This is an extremely serious situation for you and you chose to face it with courage for sure. The reason above all for me to pray this video is seen, heard and fully understood is that people just in general do not take the risks of sexual stimulants seriously at all. Not just meth but Viagra and all those other "enhancers". They are really no good at all. In my opinion it's so important for people to know that if it isn't happening down there, it's not meant to be anywhere, know what I mean. Just like you said in the beginning....you had found your balance and you were happy with it. I truly hope for your total recovery friend, body, mind and soul. I believe you will be an example to other people who are living in fear and shame of decision's they have made and I believe you will be the voice of courage and reason for these people for years to come. Please do not give up, you have already made it over the biggest obstacles, know that and no matter what Do not look back okay. Looking back will always cause you to stumble and fall, and eventually you won't get up. Focus forward, keeping where you have been in mind so you can encourage others from your heart as a living example of greatness. You are great. Ok bye.
@@lulumoon6942 thank you. The courage it took to make this video has to be up there with volunteering to walk on the moon. He deserves every bit of praise and encouragement. I appreciate you noticing my comment. Thank you
@@jennifergray130 Agree without reservation, and you said it all so very well I could only add my appreciation for your precious words. Just thought of his story again this week, and wished him well from afar. No one knows what private battle we each fight daily. Best to you. ❤️🙏💞
I had a spinal injury years ago and I was almost paralyzed. It's a scary thing to go through. Luckily I healed well and I am fully mobile. Your story made me cry. It's really sad how our lives can change in the blink of an eye. Our bodies are precious gifts and we need to take care of them. I hope you have healed from this. Thank you for being so honest❤
God bless you and I hope you will recover. Everyone makes mistakes, I hope you can overcome this. You seem like a sweet, brave person. I’m praying for you.
HE needs God. This is happening every day. Its not happening once, or twice. It is happening multiple times per day every day. Imagine what they dont report. You have no idea of what is happening. You have no idea of what is coming. I do. Faith (real faith from the heart).reveals all truth. You are seeing the latter days play out none the wiser that everything happening has been prophesied. But, you can not be "of God" and "of the world" You can not serve God and Mammon. You can not serve 2 masters. There is only one master and He knows that we know that HE knows our hearts. He came to US and that is just the start. Much will happen in the short future. I would not say it if it were not true, But we say this out of Love for you. All you see is deception. All you know is temporary. All you see will pass in the twinkling of an eye. Its happening. None of it make sense now because "you are in it" and can not escape even if you try. It will all make sense to those with their hearts on God in faith and guided by His word and His spirit. The end is near but we don't fear it. God says we must leave everything behind. If anything comes before Him, we can not be His disciples. The love God gives is permanent. Sealed and sanctified in and by His spirit. God is everything. Without Him there is nothing. The fear of the Lord is truly, truly the beginning of wisdom. But fools despise knowledge. God bless those who do not know that there is only one way through this life. Have a good night.
If I was there I would give you a nice comforting hug.♥️ And bless you for sharing something so personal. I am a meth addict in recovery so I can relate to some of the emotions before, during and after using. If I had words that could change all the damage that meth brings to our lives and make it go away, I would probably never shut up. But you still have so many great things in your future because of your positive attitude and willingness to share in hopes of helping others. Try see the positive even in the low times, get better and never limit yourself to what you can do!! 👍🙂♥️
Why would someone hate you for your mistakes in life? Even "nice" people make mistakes. But you are right that playing with this kind of fire is not a smart move. You are worth so much more than that.
I admire your honesty, and how you want to warn others out there who are thinking reckless thoughts, You may have gotten yourself in somewhat of a bad situation but YOU are still a good soul, a good person...a person who knows what he did wrong and doesn't want this to happen to anyone else, and because of that very fact I wish nothing but positive Healing Prayers and vibes your way so that you may once again choose a good path for yourself and do what you need with better choices and surround yourself with better people.
I am absolutely stunned, in awe of the bravery and selflessness you've shown by sharing your truth! We are ALL here in this life with a purpose, even when we don't realize that purpose. My gut tells me that you've gone through hell and back to be able to save others from experiencing what you have. You'll get through this and be stronger than ever! ❤
Um bravery and selflessness? Dude slammed meth and had a violent, drug induced threesome with 2 dudes that banged him so hard they broke his back. He wasn’t injured whilst sacrificing himself by throwing his body over a grenade to save the lives of school children and elderly in a war zone in the middle of a drought.
I love you for sharing this. I’m praying for your recovery & healing. Addiction is very real. I was addicted to meth for a couple years straight . Shooting it up . So I totally understand what you’re going through . Stay strong !! 3 years clean & sober now . You can do it too . You’re already doing it 💜💜💜
Oh Alex...this must have been so incredibly difficult. My heart hurts for you. I hope that you are recovering well; I’m sure that it has been a long and difficult journey. I hope that you are surrounded by people who truly care for you. Big hugs from Texas.
We all make mistakes, some bigger than others. I am keeping you in my prayers for a complete recovery. Don't give up, you are helping others with your message and journey. Sending love and best wishes.
Sorry to hear about your experience bud, we thank you for sharing with us. I once heard a story about a guy, had a broken vertebrae I think, Drs told him he'd never walk again, wasn't anything they could do. But he wasn't willing to accept that. He went home and focused all his energy and concentration on repairing and healing that one vertebrae. When he went in for his 6 month check up he actually WALKED into the office and his Dr couldn't believe it. I know alot of people reading this wouldn't believe it either, but as an empath who has recently been interested in discovering/ reconnecting with the psychic abilities that ALL humans possess, I truly believe we are capable of healing ourselves and others as well, with mainly our thoughts alone. It's a crazy concept, isn't it? Do me a favor, do YOURSELF a favor. Start meditating daily, and then aside from that meditation try a HEALING meditation where u just sit and try to heal yourself. You can also call on spirit guides if they possess any healing abilities that they may heal you as well, maybe researched it a little too, idk just trying to help. Nikola Tesla said if you want to unlock the secrets of the world, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibrations. I personally have had several healing experiences while listening to 741hz, one of which prevented me from going to the emergency room. I've even heard that we can literally destroy cancer cells with nothing more than the correct sound frequency. If this is all true, and Nikola Tesla was right up there with other geniuses like Einstein or Edison, I believe we actually CAN possess healing abilities, telepathy, and many other psychic abilities once we learn to redevelop them. I hope this helps either you or SOMEBODY in need. Thanks for reading guys and above all, keep a positive attitude. You'd be surprised what the power of positive energy has to offer 🙂 Will continue to pray for you, stay strong. Often times we are unable to know a blessing in disguise when we see one. Put your faith in the Lord and he will guide you 🙏😇🙂👽🌎✨🌈👁️
I know I'm kind of late, but thank you for sharing this and it helps me feel a lot less alone I struggled with fentanyl abuse for 4 years I just recently started my recovery into sobriety I was sober for almost 6 months and my relapse almost costed me in my life, my body wasn't used to the amount I was taking anymore , my dad found me unresponsive. It was a complete eye opener and I have no urge to ever touch it again for my sake and my family's. I just want you to know you're helping people like me feel a lot less alone in the world I'm now only a month and 10 days sober after my overdose.
As an ex addict I can only imagine how hard this may be right now. You're inspiring and strong for coming out about this. Prayers for a full recovery 🙏🤍
I have never used drugs and I have no idea whatsoever how addiction happens. I am not speaking from any place even remotely relatable to your situation. I will speak to you from a place of my Christian love and kindness. I feel that you are extremely brave, courageous, and very inspirational. You have a sad and heartbreaking story, that most people wouldn't share, but you are so thoughtful and hopeful, that your story can help someone else. Sacrificing your privacy...and your tragedy...to give the gift of possible prevention is extremely selfless and something so rare...it's a beautiful thing for you to care for strangers so much. I pray that you have had significant physical healing...although your injuries sound extensive...God can do some pretty spectacular things. If your body remains paralyzed, I pray that you have found peace in your abilities rather than sadness with any disabilities...God will give you strength in so many ways. I have a friend who became paralyzed from the chest down one year ago...he too has struggled physically and emotionally. He had an infection spread to his spine after knee surgery and it almost killed him. You are clearly a strong young man and I pray that you have reached out to our Lord and Savior and asked for His comfort and strength in those quiet moments when you're alone with your thoughts...remember that the devil will continue to chase you as long as he can...but you will find safe harbor in the arms of Christ. I am hopeful for you and your future...your pleasant demeanor is a rare thing these days...you have so much to offer. May God bless you and be a shining light in your life. Best wishes 😊 I think I will watch some more of your videos to see how you're coming along ✝️
a lot of the time an individual becomes addicted and they dont even realise it and more often than not when they DO realise it is FAR too late and they begin to enter a denial spiral where they cope with the realisation and feeling of helplessness by abusing said substances which only makes the addiciton worse or introduces new ones. the main reason addiciton is so prevalent in society today -at least in my opinion- is the stigma associated with drugs. people feel they cannot talk about things like that without repercussions or shame or a feeling of overwhelming guilt. if those stimas did not exist i really think that people could get the help they need sooner rather than later. addiction is nothing to be shameful of, it is an illness that can be cured with care and love just like any other :) i hope all of those who are addicted to anything at all can get the help they need :)
@khanumna1183 I love Jesus, and throughout His life, He demonstrated what true love looks like. It isn't critical or hurtful...it should be kind and gentle. I try to love through that example. I appreciate your comment... so many people are unkind to Christians these days...it feels wonderful to experience thoughtful kindness...thank you
@harrykelsall9401 I am blessed to have never had the experience of addiction. It is so difficult for me to grasp. I can not say anything, one way or another, because I have no foundation to stand on. I think we all have "demons" that pursue us...mine has been physical pain and loneliness...yours may be sex, someone else's may be drugs or alcohol, or even hatefulness. My point is... that a demon is a demon... we are all chased by the devil and his minions. It's up to us to recognize that we are all human and we are all flawed...your flaws don't make you worse than me, we are all equally flawed...it's just which demon has chased who. I love that this young man is transparent with his story... He has given up his shame and his embarrassment to pay forward in lessons that may protect someone else from a similar fate. He should be acknowledged in a positive and powerful way....clearly he is a loving person. I pray that we all find our way to the kingdom of God....wouldn't that be amazing?
Brother, there is nothing wrong with your honor. There is such great honor and courage in the honesty of this act of sharing that I can hardly express it. I have been clean from meth now for as many years as I was an active user. I get the feeling some times that my doctor is pissed at me for being alive, because I shouldn’t be. Got all my teeth and hair, too. Not much liver left, though. It took me a decade before my libido knew what to do without speed, so be patient with yourself as far as that goes. Angels surround you, brother. Keep telling people: it’s a blessing to all who hear it. 🙏🏻🌻🐢☯️
Thank you for this 🙏🏽 it was courageous to come on screen and share your story, but it’s powerful. I am sending you love and wishing you a healing recovery
Randomly got this video suggested and wow I'm blown away by your courage sharing your story! I hope that you are doing well and that you're still recovering and healing.
😱 4:50 omgoodness Omg. In don’t even know if this man will see our messages, but I feel so much empathy for him. I don’t see why anyone should hate you. People can judge you all they want, but to me, you seem like a very kind soul. You weren’t out there hurting anyone but yourself, and obviously that wasn’t intentional. I feel so much anxiety listening to your story bc I can only imagine what you’ve gone through since both diagnoses. You’ve made mistakes, but as long as your heart, and soul are good, then you can get through anything. My heart goes out to you ♥️
WOW. I commend this guy for being so honest and brave with his story. I wonder if ANY of the people that were there partaking in this savage session feel any accountability for this? I mean it sounds like he was just their sex toy. I hope he heals in all ways and recovers. His honesty will helpfully help others.
Although it's very sad and painful to say, he was a seemingly willing participant, in a drug fueled three way. At least at the start.However, with all of the illicit drugs that were consumed later on during the sex, the question becomes, if any of the three were actually ( legally?)still capable of the same assumed consent, as in the beginning of the acts. Also, since we weren't there, and don't know all of the details, perhaps this very unfortunate incident could have just as likely have happened to either of the other two people.
Speaking as a gay addict, these hookups are pretty common. I don't think it's fair to lay the blame on the other two participants - this was a consensual Party and none of them could have imagined something like this might happen. It's totally unheard of. In these groups guys often like it rough, especially as a bottom (prefers to take it), and with something like meth involved you're just not aware of your strength or if something that's happening to you is causing any damage. It's no one's fault. The other two are probably going to be dealing with some serious emotional trauma.
As a younger person I mixed a lot of drugs which led to dangerous sexual experiences and I thank God I survived and didn't end up with any permanent consequences of my actions. I only tell you this so you'll know you're not alone. I pray for you to heal quickly and thank you sharing! You're a brave young man and I believe the future has great things in store for you!
This is now 2023 and I’m seeing this for the first time. Bless you! It may have been a set back for your body, but your mind is clear. Please keep using your voice to share your story. Mentor others. You are so brave to to us in RUclips land. We are not small! I pray you’ve healed.
Omg! The raw courage you have for sharing such a personal journey is so commendable. The fact you can talk about it at all is amazing. You seem so sincere in your regret. By sharing this truth with everyone, the real healing begins. You must forgive yourself, first. We all have experiences we regret. Time only rolls forward, dear sir. We wouldn't be human if we didn't make mistakes during life's journey. I ,too, have regrets over bad choices that seemed good in the moment. I hope that your body heals rapidly,as your heart and soul are almost there. May you find peace with the man in the mirror.
I admire your courage. I lost my wife to cancer last year and started using meth after almost eleven years clean from IV speedball use. In two months fentanyl and meth took me lower than fifteen years of heroin and coke. I was so naive. I'm almost ten months clean. Your story and attitude are inspirational. Thank you.
I am so sorry for your loss. Pain and grief causes us to make choices we wouldn't normally make. Please continue to heal ♡♡♡
Keep going! I'm so sorry for your wife's passing ❤❤❤❤ she is still with you. And you still have so much to do.
Sorry for your loss
Speed balling was my thing too. Glad you're on the path now
Your awesome yes keep up the great work ❤️
I don’t see how people can say anything negative about him when he’s clearly already hit rock bottom. The only way from here is up for him. I hope he has a great recovery.
rock bottom should have been the HIV diagnosis.
He reacted to his life problems in his own way. He made a mistake and already have paid for these mistakes. He shouldn't have to keep paying for it.
@@_smurfitude I am sure his parents thought He learned his lessons after his meth/AIDS situation . I do have great sympathy for him, however some people tend to continue harming themselves in spite of the harm They bring themselves. I wish him the best and truly hope he doesn’t continue this activity or find another activity that is just as dangerous.
Rock bottom has a basement...
And when you get so low, it's only one way one can go, and that's UP. @@cinderellie9583
Meth addiction actually destroyed my life. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder, got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 3 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES very sure of Dr.alishrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
Yes he's Dr.alishrooms.Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.
wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Only a sincere person has the courage to come out and share his story on so many levels. I commend you for stepping forward and spreading awareness. Best wishes on a full recovery.
Yes The Dragon is our Higher Self and we can all chase and retrieve it.
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
so stunning and brave
So disgusting and dark past! Shame!
@@florana5961 what's disgusting is you trying to take a dump on my comment, when you should just keep it moving if you don't agree with it! This ain't about you.....
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m an addictions counsellor in Hong Kong and I was very moved by your vulnerability and courage. We do recover. This too shall pass. I’m 8 years clean and sober. May your Higher Power bless you!🙏❤️🩹
Thank you very much for your kindness. It was a very enlightening experience for me, especially when I rebuild my life to a point where I can feel a clear sense of direction I start to realize and understand why I needed to do those things at the time and be able to accept this freak of accident. I eve have my own idea of approaching addiction based on my own experience and I will share in future videos.
Congratulations
I salut you
@@fromcompulsiontoconsciousn5862 I just watched your video and it was very emotional and visceral for me because I am a recovering opiate addict and alcoholic for 8 and a half years now and I know how incredibly difficult it is to go through. I have had a few very close calls while being loaded and drunk to where I have broken my ankle and fell down a flight of stairs. I am praying for your healing of mind and body because you are worth so much more than this addiction and your life and story means so much to so many out there and means so much to me:)
Lenor Lexann 💜💜💜
I always recite that passage And this Too Shall Pass Gods Mercy is always with us no matter what path we choose Thank You God for your unconditional love I will always serve. You ❤️❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼
Oh that's F-ing sad. Brave guy for dropping truth about it. Avoid drugs folks.
Avoiding illicit drugs is a good idea, but I think when it comes to drugs, pornography, adultery, gambling -- basically anything you swear not to do or are sick of doing -- you've got to stay away from situations where your resolve might crumble. I mean, if you're partying and party favors are taken out, it can be very hard to be a buzzkill then. It's usually much easier to avoid a scene entirely or refuse to take the first few steps on the road to ruin than it is to make a heroic goal line stand in a situation when saying no will be seen as weird, disappointing, etc... And this is true of positive actions as well: If you make all the preliminary steps needed to perform an action, the action will typically follow. I'll bet if you grab your stuff, drive to the gym, get dressed, then warm up, 99+% of the time a workout will follow. Anyway, we all sort of know this, intuitively. Maybe I just wanted to remind myself...
This is so brave.
“We are as sick as our secrets”… I hope you are getting better ,mind ,body and soul every single day!!! You seem like a very sweet person.
Secrets kill
His secrets are so disgusting and dangerous
@@florana5961 well,looks like he’s coming clean and acknowledging he needs to change.
@allisonschneider924 change? He already got hiv positive! So sorry for his parents! He is so wasted!
@@florana5961 I hear ya girl . Definitely glad he’s not my kid
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s so important to do so. I was selling my body, using IV heroin and living on the streets for over 10 years. I’m now 4 1/2 years clean and sober. We Do Recover!!!
Good for you!!!! Keep on believing in your self discovery and healing! God bless you! 🙏🙏
Wow.. Thank you for sharing.. God Bless you and pray for your full recovery.
So glad for you! Stay strong 💪 🥰🥰🥰
Keep on moving forward. Congrats
Awesome girl I got 4and a half clean from slamming meth and being homeless to and some times I would turn trick's in my crack nightmare then I got hooked on meth so much cheaper and so damaged my mind I'm learning how to live and some things I've been relearning ❤️
Hi Alex, I am so sorry this happened to you. I am blown away by your courage. Sharing this could not have been easy. This is 2023 now, and I'm hoping you're doing alright.
Yes please do an update. I pray you’re still getting better.
October 9th, 2023. I hope you have fully recovered and life is good. 💜
@@rkml59
Although, my wish is the same, I don't actually think that a full recovery would be possible. But, I sure do hope so.
@@user-tf9yy5uq9p I was hoping he would respond. I know the video is at least a year old but surely he checks on views and comments now and then.
Your heart felt plea to others to cherish life & better things to do besides drugs made me stop and notice, increased my awareness of life, how far I’ve come & how merciful & faithful GOD has been to me. Every new day is a gift…Thank You!
My brother died in 2020 from methamphetamine toxicity from shooting too big of a load. They found him 7-10 days later. I had to help clean out his apartment. It smelled of his decomposing body the whole time. It was pretty traumatic. Thanks for being a survivor.
So sorry you had to go through that❤.
I didn't know that was possible. I would guess a speed OD would cause a heart attack or something cardio related. RIP
@tayloralvidrez4342 It’s pretty hard to “overdose” on stimulants. Part of the concern is for cardiac issues, but meth can cause plenty of other potentially lethal issues (such as serotonin syndrome) and AFAIK doesn’t have the same cardiotoxicity that cocaine does, since cocaine is also an anesthetic so it can interfere with heart rhythms directly.
I always thought it hard to od on stimulants as well, until it happened to my brother and that was his cause of death. He apparently told a girlfriend he would probably kill himself when he got his covid stimulus money. That's exactly what he did. I know it wasn't suicide because we found his stash and he still had plenty stashed. It's sad. I miss him.
@@seizodso sorry for your loss. I pray you find peace.
It says alot about a man that can share his real raw, unfiltered story with the whole world. I have so much respect for you and your share. I have been clean off meth for almost 4 years and I NEEDED to hear this to remind me of what it was like. Please keep sharing because your story because it's going to save lives....
You've written my thoughts.....
***hugs from afar****
❤❤❤❤❤
May love and peace surround and guide you throughout your journey. I admire your courage and humility as you move forward. Hugs! ❤️👍☮️
How did you do it?
Not telling the public about your personal life is admirable as well. People who share arent necessarily brave.
This is the most hardcore thing I've heard in a while. I wish you luck in your recovery. Addiction almost killed me.
But his friends broke his back during sex right? Meth was the major cause of the actions taken but it wasn’t a direct cause in medical terms right?
I assume that’s what he meant by “brokeback” rather than “bearback”. Otherwise I’m glad this video came on my feed. I had just relapsed the day before yesterday and again yesterday after 2 weeks of sofriedy and now this has scared me straight to the point I’m completely willing to give up homosexual behaviors and methamphetamine altogether now and repent spiritually of those sins. Meth is what drove up the homoseuxal behaviors although in rare occasions I could have them on weed, alcohol or even sober. But homosexuality and drug addiction are both sins in my opinion that will destroy anybody. One must spiritually lose any desire to engage in any of those behaviors if they want to get saved.
@@kobold7763how’s that turning out for you? I agree that drug use can be “sinful” if you’re hurting other people or directly putting others in danger by driving or whatever else. But how can a natural human behavior be “sinful”? If animals do it and little boys do it before they even understand religion and sin, then why is it so immoral for you? I’m just saying brother, I think it’s more helpful to sobriety to accept yourself for who you are and not what some jagoff put down in a book 1000 years ago that was interpreted by some other jagoff 100 years ago. Seriously, if it’s in nature then that means your god crested it, right? So he/they/it make animals engage in same sex sexual activity but it’s going to send you to hell? Not bloody likely
I don't know you but I can say "I'M PROUD OF YOU". Telling the truth is a huge step and very honorable! You got this!
Amen!!! 👍💪❤️💞
@James Patrick For those of us who prefer the temporary pain of the truth for a more honest existence in relations and society, we'll never understand them, despite their explanations. Best I've seen for our case is Jordan Peterson's suggestion that we not tell falsehoods or at the least go against our conscience as that leads to disintegration (lack of integrity), as per Carl Rogers. It's the harder path but if enough of us do it, and teach our children, perhaps eventually change can be made.
@James Patrick Thanks. And just a thought, but many of the things I've grown in were a result of healthy patterning by others. Just takes a choice. ❤️
Right! I said the same!! So proud
Asian pride!
"Life is such a blessing. Don't waste it..."
That's beautiful, Alex. And so true! PREACH!!
Best quote ever.
I admire you and your courage to openly speak about your addiction. People who aren’t addicts have no clue how tough it is to admit that your an addict, its definitely not easy. I became addicted to pain pills way back in 2008, I did a lot of things that I’ll forever be ashamed of and now I’ve been sober since 2016. Keep your head up buddy we are all here for you.
Thank you for taking the time to watch my story and to leave comments. That means a lot to me. I do encounter people who do not have much understanding and experience to addiction and blame and judge drug users for their own miseries. I hope by reaching out to those people, we can have better understandings of things and of each other so I try to respond comments especially negatives one in hope that they can read it. Drugs are coping mechanisms we discovered in life to help escape but instead of trying to find what we are running away from we are targeting on the coping mechanism itself. The drug is not the problem, the problem is that we have a strong emotional craving only the drug can calm. We need to find the demon behind the craving and that demon is what we are running away from. So you were trying to hide from your demon and you did things you were not proud of. But you need to know that you were not a good place at the time and you shouldnt judge yourself in normal standards. Instead, tell yourself that it was ok to do these things as you were in your best shape when those decisions were made. Dont let your past determine the way you look at yourself now, be kind to yourself as the same as you are being kind to me, please do this for both me and you!
@@fromcompulsiontoconsciousn5862
Thankyou for that very eloquent response. Would you let us know when your devastating injury occured, and if you've regained any feeling or movement below your chest area please? I'm sending you love and wishing you peace.
I am also an addict and I have done so many unhealthy scary things. Drugs have made me make so many bad choices that have impacted my life forever. I think one of the most important things is to have some sober support. It’s so important to know there are people who understand and CARE about you. I could feel your pain through your video and even more I could hear how important it is to you to get your message out there, that there is life without drugs. I wish all the best for you. You don’t know me and will probably never meet or even talk to me but I want you to know your message was received and I thank you! Bless you! T.
@@HollyGolightly1976I'm an addict too. I don't know how to get clean. I've progressed over the last 10 yrs to fentanyl now. Ppl don't understand the emotional pain drug addicts feel and use drugs to numb. Im praying for you, him, myself and all addicts. No one would choose this lifestyle. Sending love to you all.
@@bunnyluver2176 Get yourself to a respectable program to start, one with a medical detox onsite, I did it 7 times for heroin, Xanax and booze, tough trio to kick but I finally did it after 10 years of abuse, 8 years clean now. Good luck you can do it.
Oh my God. I’m a sober amphetamines addict. I lost a lot. Lost the ability to have children through my addiction. And lost time with my father before he died. But I never had this one. Blessings to you. Thank you for being here
I'm so sorry for your time lost with your Father ....i can relate and I'm having a very hard time with this and the guilt i carry ....thank you for sharing and God bless you !! I'm sure your a great person.
im hoping my father passes away soon. in due time, in due time that waste of space will wither on to the after life 😁🥳
@@hawaiisurferdude6714 mine too
As a recovery alcoholic with 10 years of sobriety…The courage it took for this gentleman to step forward and share his story is unbelievable… Not only did this drug take away his freedom to walk, it sounds as if it has created and assisted in many other health issues for him… I wish you only the best in your years to come. Thank you for getting the word out there about this despicable drug.
Ď
courage or consequences?
He is so very brave and courageous to care about maybe helping someone else avoid a bad situation like he is in.
I can only imagine the heartbreak he feels knowing he did this to himself as we all often do.
He is worthy of a good life and I hope he knows this and accepts this fact as much as he feels he did something shameful he also is doing something very good!
Was it the drug or the gay lifestyle? He was obviously doing unsafe sex with multiple men to get HIV, then some gay guys literally broke his back during group sex. Sounds like the gay lifestyle is very risky.
@georgedavis4362. Congratulations on 10 years of sobriety. My mother celebrated 50 years of sobriety on December 24th 2022.
Damn this mans was going THRU it. Jfc. I see this was 2 years ago but hope this dude is still with us and doing a whole lot better. Takes a lot to speak the truth and take accountability like he did. Deserves a lot more than that hospital bed and I hope he found it 💯💯🙌🏼
That was some serious sex!
You said it! I hope he's further along on his road to recovery from the paralysis.
I knowman, I was thinking the same thing.I hope he is well.
You're a really really really brave person, I really admire you. You're gonna recover and be better in time. All the bad in life fades and becomes a memory, and in time even the memory fades, too. You got this
Thank you very much for your kind words.
Thank you for saying this. Much love.
WOW, I was not expecting that - but I give him nothing but respect for telling his story
I'm a recovering IV meth addict. I would love to know how you're doing today. Your story just broke my heart. I have 3 years clean. Keep fighting!
Hello there, Thank you very much for taking the time to listen to my story and to comment on it. That means a lot to me. I recovered a lot and still have a bit more to go. Its only a matter of time getting back to where I was. Thank you very much for your kindness!
I really wish you the best!❤❤❤❤@@fromcompulsiontoconsciousn5862
I'm trying to beat it at the moment. Hope you're doing good ✌🏽
Please stay strong, forgive yourself and learn from this. None of us are perfect. Life can be so stressful and certain things which have happened to us can be difficult to deal with and you just want to escape the pain. Please stay focused and thank you so much for sharing your story. I hope others can learn and take something from this, even if it can help just one person. I wish you all the love and happiness moving forward and please look after yourself x
I hope Alex is working to forgive himself, such a great reminder, thanks!!! 💞
Thank you for sharing yr story. I’m sorry this happened to you. I am 42 and in active addiction. I hope to someday be in long term recovery. You’re story is another warning for us to stop!
Marcelina you, and only you, will know when the time is right for recovery. Just try not to be blind to when the time comes. It's so easy to ignore signs telling us ...OK the time is now. God bless
Thank you for the reminder, and yes everyday We wake up is a reminder and all the blessings we have also are.
You DESERVE recovery, mama! Don't ever let anyone tell you differently ❤️❤️❤️
Severe your ties with anyone you know who uses and ask God to get you thru take one day at a time force yourself to get up everyday and do something proactive even if it's taking a walk or reading a book take one day at a time each day your off it will get better the cravings will subside after a week and by the end of week two you will start to feel like your real self by week three you will be free from it's grasp and have your energy back you can do this the first five days all you will want to do is sleep , force yourself up And out of bed sleep no more than 10 hours day because trust me it will get you regulated faster . Ginseng and caffeine helped me get thru that first week and vitamin B12 is awesome I take a sublingual liquid form it goes into your bloodstream immediately and gives you a great boost if you can get your Dr. To administer a B 12 shot that's even better also get some beet juice knudsen makes a great one it's really great for restoring your blood it provides your blood cells with some very important nutrients you won't find otherwise. You can do this pal you got this!!
Never give up on yourself. Sending ❤ from Louisiana
So much love to you. I was a meth slammer for about 5 yrs. Before that, it was H. So 10 yrs total of addiction cycles. I ended up getting a heart infection. Was in the hospital for 30 days. Then after I got out I did it again, but this time I got an infection attacking a heart valve. I almost needed a valve transplant, but I got lucky. Clearly what I was doing, my body wasn't tolerating anymore, infection would be a constant issue, so I finally stopped to save my life. Clean for 3 yrs. I'm so sorry, that you're decisions left you very scathed, I don't understand how I made it out ok. I feel so blessed, but I often feel enormous guilt and shame, pain, for my decisions that comes with drug use territory. Life is beautiful, and we do recover, and I hope you're doing better, as this is an older video. Just remember you are a divine, beautiful being, I see this in you through this video. You remind me of how amazing humans really are, and how easily we dismiss ourselves as such. ❤❤❤
I am clean sober since august. my last time I had hallucinations that i had internal bleeding and i crawled up into a ball in my bed and didn't call an ambulance outof sheer shame and regret. I'm never touching that stuff again. i'm sorry you had to break your back to reach a turning point. the depression afterwards is extremely difficult to get through. I hope you recover. thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Its great to know that I am not alone and we both can process the shame in using meth to the point of sharing with others! But when I realized there was a need and purpose in using meth to fulfill a part of me which I could not satisfy at the time, then I no longer felt shame because it was something I needed at the time. More info in new video :)
Some of the shit being sold these days is even more dangerous than anything seen prior. Some designer drugs are being sold as meth, flakka, Bathsalts etc. Last time I ever touched the crap was years ago, I took one hit off of a pipe, and I hallucinated uncontrollably. I saw shit for 2 days, literal monsters and dinosaurs popping out of the trees. And I had a guest cabin below my house, me and my girlfriend had 20 acres in the mountains, and I watched as a man walked up to the cabin and attached a team of oxen to it, and started pulling the cabin away, then a helicopter swooped down and hooked up to it lifted the cabin and i watched as it disappeared. Saw similar things for 2 days, also for around 4 days after i saw flashlights shining randomly from the woods at night. Also would randomly see lights in the shape of a ceiling fan in my field of vision, and they would spin and flutter off into the sky. One other thing that happened was that I heard radio stations in my head for about 5 days. But the scariest part about that was that they were actual radio stations. I could hear the song playing, and would hear the announcer say the radio station name. And everytime I tuned in on that station, it was the exact thing I had been hearing in my head. Did it 6 different times just to confirm. I never thought I would stop hearing the radio. But luckily it went away. Had no desire to ever touch that bs again after that. It had never caused auditory and visual hallucinations for me before. Visual typically happen after using for days on end without sleep. That wasn't the case here. They put all sorts of strange crap in it these days. And I want no part of it. Now they're selling p2p meth everywhere. But the low income area's are being flooded with flakka. And people are losing their minds on it. Or they end up dying of a heart attack because they take too much. No more drugs for me. 10 years clean from heroin coming up very soon. Another thing kids have to worry about these days is all the fentanyl. They're putting that crap in every drug known to man. No thank you. I chose life over death, or insanity. Glad you made it through this. Hope it will teach you to never even think about using substances ever again. It's just not worth the risk
@@fromcompulsiontoconsciousn5862 Thanks for sharing your story! I really think you are brave and courageous with strangers for sharing something that's personal. You have nothing to be ashamed of! I know with you sharing your story it's going to help so many people. I'm in a wheelchair myself! It's a bit getting use to. I can't walk anymore.My heart and prayers go out to you! I hope 1 day you can be a motivational speaker to help so many other's like yourself. Thanks again for sharing and being so brave! Your friend for life!
(Pooh Bear)
Wow man, I admire your boldness to share this on RUclips. Hang in there and keep your head up handsome 😘
Thank you for your kindness and open mindedness!
@@fromcompulsiontoconsciousn5862 anytime, feel free to reach out if you need to chat, my email is listed my "about" tab
Yes a handsome, serene face
You shouldn't be ashamed we all make silly mistakes. The anecdote alone is legendary: "I got rammed so hard it broke my back" 💀
I hope you have recovered and are living well now. ❤
He can say that he had a session called BrokeBack Mountain. 😅
This is terrifying, I had no idea meth could do this. I have my own horrible experiences with it and I absolutely hate it. It ruined a huge chunk of my life. I am proud of you for telling your story. Please heal your body and never touch the stuff again. 🙏
If you get fuc*** in the 💩 shoot for hours it could happen to anyone!!!
I think he broke his back due to sex not meth, the meth did prevent him from feeling anything was wrong, he would have told told to stop before it got that bad...
@Captain Orange dude I be hating that too!! 🤣
The dude was obviously doing something extremely extra to be having gay sex and get a broken back from it. It wasn't like injecting meth directly did that to him. Would have been interesting if he would have said how it actually happened. Either way, the guy has HIV and is having sex with multiple ppl. Clearly just spreading it around. Dirty ass mf'er.
It takesa lot of courage to do this on utube. Your an amazing man. Never give up.
14 yrs sober & 3 yrs clean & sober bisexual girl here. Your story was so relatable and I just wish I could give you a great big hug 💜. When I was in active addiction I injured myself in many ways including endocarditis, pulmonary emboli, sepsis, hospital aquired MRSA, double lung pneumonia, two overdoses and led me to situations where I received more trauma (medical trauma/malpractice/abuse, a r*pe that caused permanent damage and multiple broken bones, dislocations, black eyes and stitches/staples). I started using to begin with because I have several very severe health conditions & chronic pain that wasn't being properly addressed or address. The stigma around drug or drink related injuries is still VERY much alive. They treat us quite poorly in hospital and the only thing we can do is advocate for ourselves and share our stories. Thank you so much for being vulnerable, brother. It means a lot to so many people to be honest about who you are and show that we can and do recover. We especially need role models who are disabled and LGBTQ+
I wish you all the best in your recovery. Don't rush it, you've been through a lot and right now I hope you are in a position for some self-TLC. *Virtual Hugs 🤗"
.
I never thought about the way anyone would be treated less than bc of addiction related health issues.
I can’t believe that anyone would have to endure any judgement in a hospital. That is just awful especially considering those are the ones would could probably use just alittle more kindness and patience. It hurts my heart to think that this is going on. Maybe hearing more accounts of these stories to shed light on this injustice. It shouldn’t matter why or how a person hurts themselves or gets hurt they deserve as much love attn and compassion as the next person.
I have so much respect for anyone to put their personal journey on public forums like RUclips. Congrats on the sober and clean living. I have never had any addiction aside from tobacco but I can have full compassion for any addiction and recovery.
We all have our own journey to learn from to help and above all be heard and respected no matter where we find ourselves !! Both your story and the original post is very brave and heartfelt. ❤️
Beautiful to hear your story and your sobriety. X
Bless you darling 🙏❤️🌈🪶💞
That whole 14 years thing? You shouldn't really count that anymore. It's irrelevant. The 3 is the relevant number. Also, what does your sexuality have to do with ANY of this? You said your drug use was bc of something else. Why mention your sexual preference? Get your shit together by keeping it real. Quit the attention seeking bullshit. You can do this. Yes, I've been addicted to drugs. Boy and girl(slang in Texas for blow and heroin). I know exactly how you have felt. I feel like I'm talking shit, but I also feel like you might need to hear it. Sorry 'bout that.
However, I also realize no two addicts are exactly the same(but that's only bc no two people(besides twins) are exactly alike), so it may not be as easy for others to think the way I do in order to get past the bullshit. Nobody's story is the same. To be fair tho, I'm only telling you things any sponsor worth half a shit would tell you. "I don't need you to like me, I just need you to understand." That kinda shit. Feel me? Tough love works, as much as it sucks. And I love you, fellow human. I wish you nothing but success. Try microdosing psychedelic mushrooms or LSD. Or Kratom.
If it helps the overall perspective of where I'm coming from....I am an incomplete quadriplegic. I can't move very far without help. I have real fucking problems lol. And this happened after I got over my addictions. So if i tell you it's easy, maybe it is. Bc nothing is as hard as waking up completely paralyzed and trying to learn how to do everything again. But i got thru that, as well. So I should know.... right?
You might just think I'm a complete asshole. And you'd probably be right lol. Either way, take it easy. It's the only way to take it! *that double talk "sober/ sober clean" NA/AA talk is what got me started. That's just nonsense that cult told you to keep you reliant on anyone but yourself to keep yourself clean. Everything is a choice. EVERYTHING. Idgaf what any group says.
@@desireechurchill747 + some if not many in the medical field, are like those in the teaching profession who only want to help those who seem to want it & value it. For many students who are struggling & failing due to undiagnosed learning disabilities &/or abuse situations at home, that they've been brainwashed not to talk about, they then can't communicate that they need help, or why. So they just struggle & fail. I was one of those. A lot of teachers do nothing to help these students, & decide they must not want help. In medical professions, they are about helping people live & survive, so a lot of them have no patience or time for "those who are just trying to destroy their lives....".
I just want you to know you are an inspiration to other people who are struggling. My boyfriend and soulmate of over 20 years had a fatal heart attack brought on by years of meth abuse. I have to live the guilt of never knowing if things could have been different if I had convinced him to get help. I am beyond devastated. He died in January and I’m still a wreck. I am glad you are still alive to tell your story. Please stay strong and keep telling your story, you could change/save someone’s life.
Wow. Just wow. I'm so impressed with your strength of character and selfless intent. You really touched me and I've read the comments and I'm not alone. You're that lone pebble in the pond, sending out ever increasing ripples as your story touches so many. I hope you see that you are shame-proof after telling your incredibly traumatic story. I do so hope that, in time, you find healing. You truly deserve it! Thank you, so so much!
I was a heavy, heavy daily user of meth for 10 years, also heroin. I'm now 28 and 3 years sober from meth. Almost 2 years from heroin. You're so lucky you had tweakers that at least cared around you. If that would've happened to me back when I was using I probably would've got left used up and broke backed in that hotel room all alone bc the other ppl got too sketched to call for help. I've seen people die bc of this. Truly a sad world we live in where people are too scared to save a life bc they are high or have drugs on them. Even though we have a law that protects drug users now from persecution. Anyway I'm glad you're recovering bro. Stay strong. You can get through this and don't worry about relapsing. No reason to beat yourself up we are all only human.
Wauw , you could stop meth and heroin ! I have never used myself but the subject interests me . It must be incredebly difficult 1 ) to stop these substances and 2 ) face life without it . I watch a lot of interviews with addicts . Some of them I began to like and feel so sorry for them . Happy to hear that you could ! Good luck ! Wouter
@@woutervanlent5181 thank you and yeah I can't help but feel sorry for them myself anymore. Especially knowing first hand.
@@kalebdye4378 how could you reduce the depression
My dealer took me to the hospital and he gave me some money he was so scare that day
My parents knew about my adiction even when i just use it for party never in normal days or schedule.
That was in 2017 i still smoking im not going to lie but just 1 day at week. If my friend dont call me then i stop
Yeah I saw this dude die and everyone was so sketched out and worried about getting in trouble, no one called for help, even if he was able to receive care eventually, he was absolutely brain dead (his skull was crushed in and could witness brain matter) Still bothers me, but my therapist tells me during her using years, she probably would have done the same. Almost 6 yrs clean from heroin, so glad I never got into fent. I did get a laced bar once and ended up getting narcanned in ER, gotta test everything with fent strips these days. I’ve had 18 friends OD and pass and for many years thought I was next…
Hey bro! Scary how something intended to he fun can end so differently. Truly sorry. Im an addict myself, and spend most of my time trying to educate and reduce stigma regarding addiction. I appreciate your openness and honesty as your story may help save somebody or many people. God speed on your healing and I hope better days are very near much love
There are plenty of unkind comments here and while I understand most people’s tendency to demonize what they don’t understand, I’m also very familiar with the struggles associated with addiction and how they’re not simply the result of a “moral failing”. My addiction was to opiates, but as someone who was also prescribed Adderall (which is nothing more than amphetamines in pill form) for many years, I can also certainly understand the allure.
I hope you continue to heal, I hope that you are able to leave your addictions in the past, and more than all of that, I hope that you’ve retained your sense of self-worth and that you’ve not been diminished by the cuts caused by all the daggers thrown your way by people who either can’t or simply refuse to empathize with your story.
Hang in there ❤️
That’s why I’m so passionate about surrounding myself with others, like me, who have struggled with addictions. It’s like being an Untouchable. I think the way we are treated is at least as toxic as the drugs, themselves. The street drugs are especially stigmatized. If addiction was understood as a problem in of brain functioning, not a character problem, more people would quit, but we become attached to the subculture because of how we are treated elsewhere. Channels like this keep me going.
Beautifully said.
Beautifully said. God bless you both!
It has been 6 months since u have posted this. I hope my comment finds u in better condition and on the road to recovery of the use of your legs hopefully. Hang in there. U have already proven u r a strong person mentally. Write a book now or do more videos of awareness and share your experiences with many. Hopefully your words will help others. God bless u and much love.
Alex, you are a brave young man. It takes a lot of courage to lay your life bare for all to see. I realize I’m writing this some time after you recorded and I’m sure you’re on your way to recovery and a better life with such a great attitude. Blessings ❤
I’m sending you nothing but pure love & I pray you find peace & healing as soon as possible. I contracted HIV in 2017 being a little too spontaneous at just 18 years old. I was in a very toxic relationship with an older man & I will never forget my mother’s cry when I told her, it was that much more heartbreaking. I also had a cocaine addiction a couple years following that ordeal which brought upon schizophrenia. I’m on meds today that treat both conditions & I’m finally finding my way back to my authentic state of mind & finally starting to recognize me for me again. The rain doesn’t last forever - Love yourself more than any vices or relationships that you know aren’t healthy! Life is so precious and we take it’s beauty for granted when we don’t honor ourselves. Everybody stay safe 🙏🏽🕊
It is not easy sharing things like this, and just.. thank you so much for allowing us to hear your story. I hope you get all the help you need to recover, both mentally, and physically. What an amazing person you are. When you started to tear up at the end, it broke my heart. I hope and pray that the very best comes to you. Thank you so much, again for sharing and opening up in such a public place. Stay strong. You got this.
Thank you listening to my story and your sympathy. It means a lot to me! It was definitely not easy to share what really happened but if I dont share it might have eaten me alive. There were so much shame in drug abuse and people just get sucked into their own fear of prejudice and discrimination from others. But for me, I just no longer wish to be bound by my own shame anymore.
I came across this by chance and went to your channel to check how you're doing - I see a recent reply from you to someone which pleased me. I'm so glad you made it through this and I sincerely wish you all the best from here on in your life. Very courageous to share this; good luck for the future Alex. Life IS such a blessing.
Instead of feeling shame, you should feel grateful that you've gotten another chance, and use that to stay clean. Good luck on your journey, and remember, shame shouldn't be with you during this recovery, only resolve to stay clean and hope for the future. Thanks for sharing!
All those feelings are appropriate to this situation, shame included. You can't change without acknowledging that who you were before wasn't who you should be.
That's quite unproductive. Feeling constant shame isn't helping improve behavior. You can't change the past 🤷♂️
Awesome testimony of what this poison does to our minds and bodies. Some of us are still trying to find our way out but hearing what your experience is like is an eye opener. Stay strong, take care!
Personally i think u very brave to talk about what happened to u in hope that someone else won't go down the path that u did & end up where u have. That takes guts my friend. U r what i consider a real man!! .
U should b very proud of urself. I wish u all the best & hope u have a swift recovery. I'll b praying u do much better than u've been told & end up better off, physically, than maybe u've been told u will. Ur the best my friend & I'm so proud of u for sharing ur story. 💛🖤💛
Thank you for sharing your story. you're a fucking brave person and I respect the living hell out of you.
I'm an ex-heroin addict myself. I couldn't imagine something like this. God bless you, your story will always be with me.
I don't know what compelled me to watch this but I'm glad I did. I just feel pure love for your beautiful soul. I believe you will make a full recovery, I had a vision of this while watching you. You're such a beautiful spirit, please fight to stay in the light. Read this if you feel you need a boost. I'm in New York but I'd come visit with you in a heartbeat.
I was really moved by his loving spirit more than his pain, too, a really special fellow! I pray he is a vessel for good despite any challenges!!! 👍🙏
You are the absolute sweetest, not too mention, very brave! ❤ I hope your recovery continues and from one addict (I have been clean for almost 7 years now from IV heroin) to another, you can do it. I wish I could give you a hug! ❤ You got this my friend! ❤
Beer, Dope, Sex and Braggadocio 😮
You're an amazing person inside and out. God made you to have a purpose and by sharing your story you have reached me. I'm 5 1/2 years clean and sober and was planning on doing acid this weekend but I've changed my mind. Im going to stay clean because I'm worth it and I'm not finished I've only just begun life at 41. Thank you darlin🌈🌈❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Acid is not a narcotic or stimulant. Psychedelics are nothing like other drugs. Many people don't even consider them drugs. They aren't addictive and can give much personal insight. Im sorry that the war on drugs has brainwashed you so badly. Meth is meth. Acid is acid. You are dumb.
Man, this really gives me chills. By coming to your senses and realizing your life choices are so dire to your collective mindset. I really applaud your courage enough to come out and say what you just said.
Prayers for your full recovery, my friend.
I’m also an ex slammer/tweeker. I’ve been clean for 5 years & im 55! Love and respect to you for your blatant honesty❤
Craziest story I have ever heard from a hospital bed. I hope you quickly recover drugs are bad kids.
"I was so close to finding more meaning to my life, and then this happened..."
Maybe, just maybe, this will end up being exactly what you were looking for.
Maybe
God has a way of making flowers out of bullshit. I know this. Stay in faith.
That took guts. Thankyou & its a lesson to others. Wishing you a full recovery.
You are probably the most brave person I've ever heard speak in my entire life.....and I've listened to many, many, MANY folks talk in my time. TRUST ME!
I was so absorbed in, as well as inspirited by, your story. I can't fathom having gone through what YOU went through and then be courageous enough to get on social media to tell my story just to try to help others. You, Sir, are quite the hero in my book!
I wish you a very quick recovery and I am praying for a COMPLETE and TOTAL HEALING of, not just your back, but your ENTIRE BODY and SOUL (including any addiction you may have).
GOD SPEED, FRIEND!
You look like you got trouble written all over you.
Thank you for sharing your story. You're a brave man to be so open about everything that happened. Much love and respect.
Sending hugs and prayers.Hoping for a full recovery. Take care.
That took alot of courage to share your story...! I had never even thought about getting injured while having sex on meth. Your message is an important one and I hope many will hear it...! Bless you...!
Wow. I had surgery on my spine too. Because of my heroin addiction. Hearing ur story is very relatable. I have been clean ever since. No better place to get clean than the hospital as they can make sure you're ok! Best of luck friend!
@gildedpeahen876
Congratulations on kicking your addiction. Since I've never heard of this before, would you enlighten us, as to how your heroin habit affected your spine, please?
@@user-tf9yy5uq9p there’s an additive in the dope called xyxlazine
It’s literally flesh eating and it dissolved my vertebrae
I'd like to know this also; I'm a heroin addict and I'm not sure how it would affect the spine?
You are SO BRAVE in sharing your story, we wish you a full recovery and a life lived to the fullest!
Addictions can make one do crazy dangerous things that others could not possibly comprehend. All we can do is learn from our mistakes. Thank you for sharing your story so that others may learn from it.
Jesus heals! I struggled since I was 17 with meth addiction. Im 45 now. I have almost 5 years clean. Run to our Father my friend. God bless!
The best advice anyone could ever give and receive, Jesus is our only answer!!!
@@patreed235 no he is not I have 3 years clean and sober living the best life I e ever lived in my 30 years on this earth and no one did it for me I did it my damn self. it's sad y'all act like your way of thinking is the only way to a good life, such a childish small minded way of looking at it.
@Days of Noah you are a fucking tool box buddy . Go read your fucking book and worship your sky god . Keep your head up your ass till you day , just keep that nonsense to your self bud. You are as clueless as the rest of the idiots that really believe this shit pfft. Hit the bottom and tell me again how Jesus will come save your pathetic ass pfft
You were a star player at Fresno State. I read about your struggles back in the day. Congrats for your recovery.
@Days of Noah no I'm good I'll continue to live my best life and be grateful that I did it all myself thanks to my hard, work dedication and determination, no fictional characters or fairy tale books needed and I don't force my views on other people or judge people that don't have the same views as I like y'all hypocrites do. For Christ sake your priests touch little boys and get away with it because the church let's em, that's a fact whether you like it or not...if my simple/factual statement made you get in your feelings that much you should get some thicker skin cause the truth hurts little man lmfao.🤣👍💯
This video randomly showed up in my feed and it really breaks my heart because I know all too well how bad the drug issues can be in the gay/queer community. You have so much courage and all things considered you have such a great attitude. I think these encouraging words could really help a lot of people. We have all done regrettable things but we are all capable of change. I wish you only the best and I hope your body can heal itself ❤️
True, it is a struggle. I’ve had homosexual feelings from about age 15 onwards occasionally but I always thought of myself as mainly straight and identified as that. Once I tried meth at 18 those occurrences became intensified due the aphrodisiac sense of the drug, wether straight or gay but due to different nature or bodies, whatever you may think it is, men in the queer/lgbt have a higher propensity than other communities for this behavior. GHB (and ecstasy to a degree) as well as Meth and poppers (nitrates) are quite the problem and meth is by far the worse due to the destructive nature that coincides with its euphoria as well as the terrible emotional side effects that arise when one comes down or habitually uses it (it’s one of the few drugs that is a known neurotoxin along with ecstasy but unfortunately meth is able to abused more easily and has fewer potential therapeutic benefits; virtually no therapeutic except for severe obesity & adhd and even then it’s addiction liability generally outweighs the benefits). But the worse thing of meth IME are the blunting of non-animalistic behaviors (advanced learning/empathy; wonder etc.) which are more ultimately more rewarding and fulfilling than other lower acts such as sexual lust, bodily worship etc. I call those lower acts because if they are done repetitively without a loved one or trusted partner it can lend itself to serious problems (such as sex addiction) in one’s mental/physical health (not to mention stopping one’s emotion/spiritual development) such as std’s. And when one grows old that behavior will no longer be useful.
@@kobold7763 so I'm trans, I lived life as a gay man since I was 15 before I transitioned a couple years ago so that's why I say I know all too well about the issues in the gay community. I never did any of the really hard stuff, I was more of the alcoholic and poppers type, but I've had a lot of friends who've struggled with drugs.
this should be shown to all highschoolers and teens. Thank you so much for being open about your journey and sharing it with the world 🙏
I've been sober 6 years now and I know how hard it is. You're extremely brave to tell your story and I wish nothing but good things for you ❤️
I’m sorry to hear this happened. I could not bear to listen beyond the Broke back comment. 😢 Much love and blessings to your recovery and future. Thank you for opening up ❤
Thanks for sharing this. I was addicted to meth and sex for many years. It caused so much chaos and suffering. I was just lucky to escape with a scarred face and bad work history. It could have been much worse. I do think one of the worst parts is the shame. I'm from a shaming culture so I know how devastating the feeling is. Studies show that shame is shit and does damage whereas guilt is helpful because shame blames the person and guilt blames the action. Never blame yourself again, bro. It's just bad actions. Forgive yourself. Take care.
I listened to your story. I think you've made a difference to others. I want nothing but the best for your healing.
Believe it or not Alex, you are a blessing with your share that definitely is forcing many to stop or slow down on their spiral to tragedy. It's not a cliche but it takes a serious whopper of such dimension like your experience to wake many up from their slide of no return. Many blessings and you will triumph slowly but surely. Forgive yourself. We can only try our best in life. Stay strong. You matter. You are loved. Thanks for your gift of humanity, courage and sincerity. 😘❤️🙏😇
You are so brave for sharing your story, thank you for your vulnerability. I hope you get all the help that you need, and I hope you know and understand that you will have a long and fulfilling life. I am wishing you a steadfast recovery. My positive thoughts go out to you and your family.
Thank you for your positive thoughts and kind words. It means a lot to me!
“They broke my back!” and laughs. Good for you bro that you can still find the humor in such a horrific injury.
Good luck my man, thank you for sharing your story!
There is NO humor AT ALL - in a person, or more than one person literally breaking another person's back because they are having out of control sex with them. That is horrific, violent & abusive.
@@michelleduncan9965 I think you are completely misunderstanding this comment. We can all agree that breaking someone’s back is not funny. However, there is a beauty and a healing in being able to smile and laugh at your own sad story. Just as crying can be therapeutic, so can laughing. I think this is all that was meant by this comment.
That’s so insane to me, I seriously wonder exactly how that happened. It’s not easy to just break your damn back lol
@@michelleduncan9965 that went clear over your head
yes i thought the same thing i was like wow to still giggle a little after something like that happening tells a lot of about who he is and i think its a good thing
I love how he can’t imagine what his friends were going thru watching him, like you’re the one in the situation, and yet you still worry about others in such a situation. Try not to worry about others right now, worry about getting better
I know right? I was def having a hard time adjusting to the things I was facing. Thanks for pointing that out!
Right?!!!!! And THEY did it to him!!!!!🤬👎🏻
Alex...you are an exceptional human being with a beautiful soul and your courage and strength are so inspiring. Don't hang your head in shame, you have so much to offer. Stay strong, stay humbled by your life, but keep on fighting. You are capable of greatness. The world would be a better place with more people of your caliber. Thank you for opening up and bearing your soul. I'm touched and wish you the best in your life!
Strength would be not doing drugs. People use drugs to escape and run from reality. How is running from reality strength?
His strength is, after hiding this side of his life from family & friends he is revealing that rough gay sex literally broke his back & that meth led directly to that. I am not sure is you are trying to Troll or, are merely "thick." How could you not admire his strength, let alone be oblivious entirely to its existence?
@@rachamimslonimdwek2650
Thankyou so much for being a kind and empathetic human being! Unlike the far too many, who obviously think they are so superior, to this unfortunate young man.
Wow. I respect your willingness to be completely honest to not only the world but most importantly to yourself. This is an extremely serious situation for you and you chose to face it with courage for sure. The reason above all for me to pray this video is seen, heard and fully understood is that people just in general do not take the risks of sexual stimulants seriously at all. Not just meth but Viagra and all those other "enhancers". They are really no good at all. In my opinion it's so important for people to know that if it isn't happening down there, it's not meant to be anywhere, know what I mean. Just like you said in the beginning....you had found your balance and you were happy with it. I truly hope for your total recovery friend, body, mind and soul. I believe you will be an example to other people who are living in fear and shame of decision's they have made and I believe you will be the voice of courage and reason for these people for years to come. Please do not give up, you have already made it over the biggest obstacles, know that and no matter what Do not look back okay. Looking back will always cause you to stumble and fall, and eventually you won't get up. Focus forward, keeping where you have been in mind so you can encourage others from your heart as a living example of greatness. You are great. Ok bye.
Thoughtful words, Jennifer. ❤️❤️❤️
@@lulumoon6942 thank you. The courage it took to make this video has to be up there with volunteering to walk on the moon. He deserves every bit of praise and encouragement. I appreciate you noticing my comment. Thank you
@@jennifergray130 Agree without reservation, and you said it all so very well I could only add my appreciation for your precious words. Just thought of his story again this week, and wished him well from afar. No one knows what private battle we each fight daily. Best to you. ❤️🙏💞
I had a spinal injury years ago and I was almost paralyzed. It's a scary thing to go through. Luckily I healed well and I am fully mobile. Your story made me cry. It's really sad how our lives can change in the blink of an eye. Our bodies are precious gifts and we need to take care of them. I hope you have healed from this. Thank you for being so honest❤
God bless you and I hope you will recover. Everyone makes mistakes, I hope you can overcome this. You seem like a sweet, brave person. I’m praying for you.
HE needs God.
This is happening every day.
Its not happening once, or twice.
It is happening multiple times per day every day.
Imagine what they dont report.
You have no idea of what is happening.
You have no idea of what is coming.
I do.
Faith (real faith from the heart).reveals all truth.
You are seeing the latter days play out none the wiser that everything happening has been prophesied.
But, you can not be "of God" and "of the world"
You can not serve God and Mammon.
You can not serve 2 masters.
There is only one master and He knows that we know that HE knows our hearts.
He came to US and that is just the start.
Much will happen in the short future.
I would not say it if it were not true,
But we say this out of Love for you.
All you see is deception. All you know is temporary. All you see will pass in the twinkling of an eye.
Its happening.
None of it make sense now because "you are in it" and can not escape even if you try.
It will all make sense to those with their hearts on God in faith and guided by His word and His spirit.
The end is near but we don't fear it.
God says we must leave everything behind.
If anything comes before Him, we can not be His disciples.
The love God gives is permanent.
Sealed and sanctified in and by His spirit.
God is everything. Without Him there is nothing.
The fear of the Lord is truly, truly the beginning of wisdom.
But fools despise knowledge.
God bless those who do not know that there is only one way through this life.
Have a good night.
If I was there I would give you a nice comforting hug.♥️ And bless you for sharing something so personal. I am a meth addict in recovery so I can relate to some of the emotions before, during and after using. If I had words that could change all the damage that meth brings to our lives and make it go away, I would probably never shut up. But you still have so many great things in your future because of your positive attitude and willingness to share in hopes of helping others. Try see the positive even in the low times, get better and never limit yourself to what you can do!! 👍🙂♥️
Good luck with you're recovery,you can do it..xo
I hope you recover and are able to walk again. Your story is going to help someone stay clear of meth or some other drug. God bless you.
Why would someone hate you for your mistakes in life? Even "nice" people make mistakes. But you are right that playing with this kind of fire is not a smart move. You are worth so much more than that.
Thanks for being SOOO Honest in Sharing the Way You Have Mate… This Can’t Have Been Easy
I admire your honesty, and how you want to warn others out there who are thinking reckless thoughts, You may have gotten yourself in somewhat of a bad situation but YOU are still a good soul, a good person...a person who knows what he did wrong and doesn't want this to happen to anyone else, and because of that very fact I wish nothing but positive Healing Prayers and vibes your way so that you may once again choose a good path for yourself and do what you need with better choices and surround yourself with better people.
I am absolutely stunned, in awe of the bravery and selflessness you've shown by sharing your truth! We are ALL here in this life with a purpose, even when we don't realize that purpose. My gut tells me that you've gone through hell and back to be able to save others from experiencing what you have. You'll get through this and be stronger than ever! ❤
Um bravery and selflessness? Dude slammed meth and had a violent, drug induced threesome with 2 dudes that banged him so hard they broke his back. He wasn’t injured whilst sacrificing himself by throwing his body over a grenade to save the lives of school children and elderly in a war zone in the middle of a drought.
I love you for sharing this. I’m praying for your recovery & healing. Addiction is very real. I was addicted to meth for a couple years straight . Shooting it up . So I totally understand what you’re going through . Stay strong !! 3 years clean & sober now . You can do it too . You’re already doing it 💜💜💜
Oh Alex...this must have been so incredibly difficult. My heart hurts for you. I hope that you are recovering well; I’m sure that it has been a long and difficult journey. I hope that you are surrounded by people who truly care for you. Big hugs from Texas.
Thank you so much for your kindness and tenderness. It means a lot to me and I really appreciate that.
We all make mistakes, some bigger than others. I am keeping you in my prayers for a complete recovery. Don't give up, you are helping others with your message and journey. Sending love and best wishes.
Sorry to hear about your experience bud, we thank you for sharing with us. I once heard a story about a guy, had a broken vertebrae I think, Drs told him he'd never walk again, wasn't anything they could do. But he wasn't willing to accept that. He went home and focused all his energy and concentration on repairing and healing that one vertebrae.
When he went in for his 6 month check up he actually WALKED into the office and his Dr couldn't believe it. I know alot of people reading this wouldn't believe it either, but as an empath who has recently been interested in discovering/ reconnecting with the psychic abilities that ALL humans possess, I truly believe we are capable of healing ourselves and others as well, with mainly our thoughts alone. It's a crazy concept, isn't it?
Do me a favor, do YOURSELF a favor. Start meditating daily, and then aside from that meditation try a HEALING meditation where u just sit and try to heal yourself. You can also call on spirit guides if they possess any healing abilities that they may heal you as well, maybe researched it a little too, idk just trying to help.
Nikola Tesla said if you want to unlock the secrets of the world, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibrations. I personally have had several healing experiences while listening to 741hz, one of which prevented me from going to the emergency room. I've even heard that we can literally destroy cancer cells with nothing more than the correct sound frequency. If this is all true, and Nikola Tesla was right up there with other geniuses like Einstein or Edison, I believe we actually CAN possess healing abilities, telepathy, and many other psychic abilities once we learn to redevelop them.
I hope this helps either you or SOMEBODY in need. Thanks for reading guys and above all, keep a positive attitude. You'd be surprised what the power of positive energy has to offer 🙂
Will continue to pray for you, stay strong. Often times we are unable to know a blessing in disguise when we see one. Put your faith in the Lord and he will guide you 🙏😇🙂👽🌎✨🌈👁️
Stay away from drugs now mate. You’ve got a second chance at life. Please stay safe and hope your recovery goes well.
I know I'm kind of late, but thank you for sharing this and it helps me feel a lot less alone I struggled with fentanyl abuse for 4 years I just recently started my recovery into sobriety I was sober for almost 6 months and my relapse almost costed me in my life, my body wasn't used to the amount I was taking anymore , my dad found me unresponsive. It was a complete eye opener and I have no urge to ever touch it again for my sake and my family's. I just want you to know you're helping people like me feel a lot less alone in the world I'm now only a month and 10 days sober after my overdose.
Blessings babygirl🙏🏼
As an ex addict I can only imagine how hard this may be right now. You're inspiring and strong for coming out about this. Prayers for a full recovery 🙏🤍
I have never used drugs and I have no idea whatsoever how addiction happens. I am not speaking from any place even remotely relatable to your situation. I will speak to you from a place of my Christian love and kindness. I feel that you are extremely brave, courageous, and very inspirational. You have a sad and heartbreaking story, that most people wouldn't share, but you are so thoughtful and hopeful, that your story can help someone else. Sacrificing your privacy...and your tragedy...to give the gift of possible prevention is extremely selfless and something so rare...it's a beautiful thing for you to care for strangers so much. I pray that you have had significant physical healing...although your injuries sound extensive...God can do some pretty spectacular things. If your body remains paralyzed, I pray that you have found peace in your abilities rather than sadness with any disabilities...God will give you strength in so many ways. I have a friend who became paralyzed from the chest down one year ago...he too has struggled physically and emotionally. He had an infection spread to his spine after knee surgery and it almost killed him. You are clearly a strong young man and I pray that you have reached out to our Lord and Savior and asked for His comfort and strength in those quiet moments when you're alone with your thoughts...remember that the devil will continue to chase you as long as he can...but you will find safe harbor in the arms of Christ. I am hopeful for you and your future...your pleasant demeanor is a rare thing these days...you have so much to offer. May God bless you and be a shining light in your life. Best wishes 😊
I think I will watch some more of your videos to see how you're coming along ✝️
This comment was so beautifully written. You are one of the kindest Christians I’ve come across on the internet. Thank you for spreading love!
a lot of the time an individual becomes addicted and they dont even realise it and more often than not when they DO realise it is FAR too late and they begin to enter a denial spiral where they cope with the realisation and feeling of helplessness by abusing said substances which only makes the addiciton worse or introduces new ones. the main reason addiciton is so prevalent in society today -at least in my opinion- is the stigma associated with drugs. people feel they cannot talk about things like that without repercussions or shame or a feeling of overwhelming guilt. if those stimas did not exist i really think that people could get the help they need sooner rather than later. addiction is nothing to be shameful of, it is an illness that can be cured with care and love just like any other :) i hope all of those who are addicted to anything at all can get the help they need :)
@khanumna1183 I love Jesus, and throughout His life, He demonstrated what true love looks like. It isn't critical or hurtful...it should be kind and gentle. I try to love through that example. I appreciate your comment... so many people are unkind to Christians these days...it feels wonderful to experience thoughtful kindness...thank you
@harrykelsall9401 I am blessed to have never had the experience of addiction. It is so difficult for me to grasp. I can not say anything, one way or another, because I have no foundation to stand on. I think we all have "demons" that pursue us...mine has been physical pain and loneliness...yours may be sex, someone else's may be drugs or alcohol, or even hatefulness. My point is... that a demon is a demon... we are all chased by the devil and his minions. It's up to us to recognize that we are all human and we are all flawed...your flaws don't make you worse than me, we are all equally flawed...it's just which demon has chased who. I love that this young man is transparent with his story... He has given up his shame and his embarrassment to pay forward in lessons that may protect someone else from a similar fate. He should be acknowledged in a positive and powerful way....clearly he is a loving person. I pray that we all find our way to the kingdom of God....wouldn't that be amazing?
You are so brave! Letting go of the shame is a huge step. Blessings and healing 💛
Brother, there is nothing wrong with your honor. There is such great honor and courage in the honesty of this act of sharing that I can hardly express it. I have been clean from meth now for as many years as I was an active user. I get the feeling some times that my doctor is pissed at me for being alive, because I shouldn’t be. Got all my teeth and hair, too. Not much liver left, though. It took me a decade before my libido knew what to do without speed, so be patient with yourself as far as that goes. Angels surround you, brother. Keep telling people: it’s a blessing to all who hear it. 🙏🏻🌻🐢☯️
Thank you for this 🙏🏽 it was courageous to come on screen and share your story, but it’s powerful. I am sending you love and wishing you a healing recovery
God bless you! I hope you get better soon. I'm so sorry you're going through this! Sending healing prayers to you!💜💜💜
Thank you for sharing your experience, strength, and hope! We recover together. Never lose hope.
Thank you!
Randomly got this video suggested and wow I'm blown away by your courage sharing your story! I hope that you are doing well and that you're still recovering and healing.
Me too!
You are very brave. Somebody has listened and found comfort from your boldness. Thank you for sharing your healing.
Thank you!
😱 4:50 omgoodness
Omg. In don’t even know if this man will see our messages, but I feel so much empathy for him. I don’t see why anyone should hate you. People can judge you all they want, but to me, you seem like a very kind soul. You weren’t out there hurting anyone but yourself, and obviously that wasn’t intentional.
I feel so much anxiety listening to your story bc I can only imagine what you’ve gone through since both diagnoses.
You’ve made mistakes, but as long as your heart, and soul are good, then you can get through anything. My heart goes out to you ♥️
My god, I am so sorry this happened to you. I wish you peace in your healing.
WOW. I commend this guy for being so honest and brave with his story. I wonder if ANY of the people that were there partaking in this savage session feel any accountability for this? I mean it sounds like he was just their sex toy. I hope he heals in all ways and recovers. His honesty will helpfully help others.
I saw your video for first time today 10/5/23. Can you post an update? I care.
@@jackiel1013 I didn't upload the video. I was just commenting.
Although it's very sad and painful to say, he was a seemingly willing participant, in a drug fueled three way. At least at the start.However, with all of the illicit drugs that were consumed later on during the sex, the question becomes, if any of the three were actually ( legally?)still capable of the same assumed consent, as in the beginning of the acts. Also, since we weren't there, and don't know all of the details, perhaps this very unfortunate incident could have just as likely have happened to either of the other two people.
Speaking as a gay addict, these hookups are pretty common. I don't think it's fair to lay the blame on the other two participants - this was a consensual Party and none of them could have imagined something like this might happen. It's totally unheard of. In these groups guys often like it rough, especially as a bottom (prefers to take it), and with something like meth involved you're just not aware of your strength or if something that's happening to you is causing any damage. It's no one's fault. The other two are probably going to be dealing with some serious emotional trauma.
@@lucid6891Thank you for explaining everything. I really hope that this guy is having a good recovery.
As a younger person I mixed a lot of drugs which led to dangerous sexual experiences and I thank God I survived and didn't end up with any permanent consequences of my actions. I only tell you this so you'll know you're not alone.
I pray for you to heal quickly and thank you sharing! You're a brave young man and I believe the future has great things in store for you!
So many of us lucked out of our youthful indiscretions!!!
This is now 2023 and I’m seeing this for the first time. Bless you! It may have been a set back for your body, but your mind is clear. Please keep using your voice to share your story. Mentor others. You are so brave to to us in RUclips land. We are not small! I pray you’ve healed.
Omg! The raw courage you have for sharing such a personal journey is so commendable. The fact you can talk about it at all is amazing. You seem so sincere in your regret. By sharing this truth with everyone, the real healing begins. You must forgive yourself, first. We all have experiences we regret. Time only rolls forward, dear sir. We wouldn't be human if we didn't make mistakes during life's journey. I ,too, have regrets over bad choices that seemed good in the moment. I hope that your body heals rapidly,as your heart and soul are almost there. May you find peace with the man in the mirror.