MY SECOND RECORDED SCHIZOPHRENIC EPISODE
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- Опубликовано: 10 май 2024
- DISCLAIMER: This video is for Educational Purposes ONLY!!! If you get disturbed easily or are faint of heart DO NOT watch. Please Enjoy
Hey Guys! I thought Id try this again since it got SO MANY veiws the first time! Hope this episode was more educational
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LOVE YOU ALL!!!
"he's got a really big smile with no eyes" fucked me up.
and the man in the closet! 😩
It rlly sent a shiver down my spine i feel so fkn bad for him thank god he has someone there
@@tunafishyfish8061 sucks for those of us that deal with this on the daily without anyone 😕
its so scary, going through all of this alone (most ppl) is deff agonizing
That give me goosebumps
This shit is unnerving. Imagine being alone when this is happening to you. Imagine seeing people in your closet and in your window staring at you while you have nobody to call for help or talk to for support. Horror movie stuff right here man. So much respect to you for making it through all this for us and the mental health world.
actually the scariest part is even if someone is with you chances are you wont trust them
went through psychosis alone pretty much in late 2022, horror movie stuff is an understatement, pure terror.
feeling like people are pulling your hair and touching you, seeing people in your room, writing on walls, absolutely terrible. im glad its over. i cant imagine having to go through this on a regular basis
Stuff like this makes me dispise people who advocate weed like its this super harmless drug, only because its harmless for MOST, but not all. For those unfortunate enough with dormant mental illnesses, this turns their life into hell. Not everyone with dormant mental illnesses will experience the symptoms in their life, it needs severe trauma. Be it physical, psychological or chemical (psychoactive drugs). Sadly weed is one of the most "effective" types of trauma to activate those mental illnesses.
I know at least 5 people who turned schizophrenic after smoking weed. Some have taken other psychoactive drugs (LSD, shrooms etc.) on top of that. They will never be the same. And the problem is that almost nobody ever checks if they have a predisposition for mental illness in their genes before smoking weed or taking other kinds of illegal drugs. And its almost never talked about anywhere. The pro weed activists are also always anti-alcohol. And this is not supposed to be a pro alcohol statement, its still very bad for you. I just want to share something about the difference of these two drugs.
A part of my family has a history with mental illness and I have been a very heavy drinker for almost 4 years. There have been days where the only liquid I drank the entire day was vodka. And in one of these 4 years I have been drinking DAILY. Maybe 330 out of 365 days. Of course it really harmed my kidneys and my liver could be better. But when I stopped drinking, someone told me to try weed. So I tried it a couple times. Smoked it only like 6-7 times in my entire life and after the last time my nightmares started to spiral into real madness. I had the most vivid and horrible nightmares I ever had before. I genuinely thought I died and woke up in hell many nights. It felt more real than reality. I guess I was still lucky it did not turn into more than just those nightmares, but it already activated something in my brain that was not there before. Like seeing a new colour or a new number in between 1-10. It was cosmical horror combined with unrealistically extreme torture, unlike anything I have ever seen in movies. Never had something like this with alcohol. And again, its a bad drug. But weed can actually be EVIL.
One friend was so terrified after smoking weed one time, he temporarily became super religious all of a sudden hahah he got himself a bible, stopped seeing girls and going to parties and stuff. I dont know how anyone can view this drug as harmless when something like this can even just POTENTIALLY happen to someone. Even for a 1% chance of becoming schizophrenic, I would not touch this stuff. Not even a 0.001%. It really is the devil's lettuce.
@@vikingraider8061 I went through what I believe now to have been psychosis at least 2 times between 2015 and 2016. The first time only lasted a day or two where I was convinced that my consciousness had shifted to a “mirror dimension” where everything was flipped and nothing felt real or familiar and everything looked strange and backwards and that made me really scared. The second time lasted several months where I was convinced that my consciousness had collided with and infiltrated the body of the person I was “controlling” and I was suppressing their consciousness with some of their thoughts occasionally rising to the top of my mind like bubbles. I thought that my body was rotting from the inside out and that if I cut it open I would be able to see that it was dead, was convinced that I had no pulse. I also thought that there were cameras watching me through phone/TV/computer screens and cameras in the air vents so I wouldn’t get dressed or take a shower without covering them all. I thought that my family were either actors or that they were replaced at some point and that they were gathering information on me to send back to “them” (idk who them was) and I also thought that my mom was trying to poison me when she made me food. Every night I heard footsteps and camera flashes outside my window and saw the flash from a camera outside, thought that some man was watching me and taking pictures of me when he thought I was sleeping. I also thought I could hear a man open the outside gate outside my window and sneak into my backyard and break into the shed to sleep there and use the water hose to wash off. That’s mostly what I can remember, it was over the course of 3 or 4 months I think, but luckily I didn’t have any extreme hallucinations other than hearing the man outside my window and thinking there was a camera flash. At the time I didn’t think that any of this sounded crazy, it made sense to me somehow:/
You get used to psychosis. I live with chronic, nonstop, psychosis. It's something you get used too. When you hear voices in your head, treat the voices like the other part of you, a conjoined twin. It becomes much more pleasant when you treat the voices like family, because they ARE.
Personally the idea that I could be a fucked up conjoined twin is what I feel like I'm experiencing. I feel like when I was a sperm, another sperm entered the womb but I overgrew the other sperm and I got control of the body. Once and again when I'm falling asleep sometimes I feel a crazy tingling and my arms move out of my control. I wonder if that's the other guy in me.
Worst idea, if you jerk off, is it sexual abuse.
Next worse idea, if you fuck someone, and they don't know what your experiencing is it like the voices in ur head are raping OR SOMETHING like that.
Just know the voices in your head control a visual state where it's creativity can be formed, and it can lead you there(going through doorways and following objects with your eyes closed)
It can be really cool, it's just, you need to help encourage and motivate the voices in your head to feel a positive life experience. You need to nurture it/them and let it be a part of your life.
In my case the voices in my head, are siblings to me. Plain and simple. 24/7 I hear voices. Weather it's voices or weird noises, sometimes clear or sometimes it's like a conversation in another room... psychosis is hallucinations, skittsofrenia is delusions. Psychosis can lead to skittso.
The guy comming up with I don't know anything or I feel this, that's skittso, it's something you can have mental discipline to overcome.. but hearing stuff/seeing shit that's psychosis and you have no control over it. It's a seperate being within you. Treat it as a brother/sister and things become much more pleasant.
This guy here is being dumb is all, with psychosis.
It’s so outrageous that health insurance companies play with peoples mental health meds. Thank you for sharing.
Lol if you look at the system it’s fucked in every single area because it’s a business that’s main objective is to make profit
Bruh people die daily because they cant get treatment for life threatening conditions, accidents, mental health etc. The American system is EXTRA fucked up and psychopathic
One of the downfalls of capitalism
The reason is probably the amount of money that the US is financing the militay industry.
Its cause they don't care. Lmao all they want is your money.
You stay so calm. You're an actual badass for experiencing this and being so in control. She loves you, you are loved.
Because it’s fake 😂
@@perkosherrigh7243 your braincells are fake.
@perkosherrigh7243 Yes, because it’s definitely smart to accuse something of being fake simply because you’re too stubborn and close-minded to just let it be. It’s definitely smart to make such an insensitive and insulting accusation with no proof provided whatsoever. It’s definitely smart to laugh at someone else’s torturous struggle that you clearly know nothing about and have not educated yourself on in the slightest.
So smart, indeed.
@perkosherrigh7243 it's a confusing reality I have it like, you feel dizzy and wake up to other world copies with entities in them or merging reality together. I bet it's a frequency of another plain abnormally. It's not exactly fake if there's a category of people who see similiar things?
How do you stay calm while seeing a man outside of your window with a big smile and no eyes?
I'd be freaking out.
Man, I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Id be saying wassup wym🤣
@@broadday_3420 .... be fr , you're not funny
@@broadday_3420 goofy af
@@broadday_3420 you’re the type of mf that would piss and shit himself profusely in this situation, then go tell his friends the complete opposite
@@conspiracymane3454 That is probably not the best thing to say to a schizophrenic. “Hey your delusions are actually real and you’re experiencing an alternate dimension it’s not just in your head there’s actually a real man in your closet.”
That rocking back and forth is a universal self-soothing technique when feeling uneasy or agitated.
It’s crazy to think he can hear gunshots while a eyeless dude smiling at him from ear to ear in your window while all the sudden believing that your being held against your will and being recorded but all he can do is nothing… I feel like if that were me I would be doing a lot more than rocking😅
Apperently some might think I’m trying to be insensitive or hurtful I didn’t mean to be rude or anything I was just saying I wouldn’t be able to handle it I feel for this poor soul and any soul that has been effected by this let me know what I said that was offensive or insulting, I am genuinely sorry
A lot of people OD and pass away sitting arms crossed on their knees head on their arms, from rocking back and forth
He starts slowly rocking at 3:26
What? You’re saying rocking back and forth can kill you?
@@khloecarver1246 exactly like what ?
It was so nice ego hear his girlfriend reassuring him and supporting him the WHOLE time, it’s beautiful.
yes
She is amazing.
That would be so hard for both of them to go through.
Not sure if it would help me if it were to happen. Whenever I have an IBS episode I always wanna be left alone.
@@leroy5500 ... i don't think that's comparable lmao
I'm a schizophrenic female and seeing your girlfriend talking you through this made me jokingly think that i need a girlfriend. Immediately, the main male voice i hear said he'd be my girlfriend. It was actually kind of funny.
It can be extremely isolating to go through this stuff. I'm grateful you shared.
As a non schizophrenic female, I find this equally funny and terrifying. Schizophrenia needs to be shown more light into
As a half-schizophrenic half-female, I find this half, funny, half terrifying. Schizophrenia might need to be shown a little more light imo.
@@kindauncool Edgy.
+@@Vikingr91 no, just corny
@@kindauncool That too.
Your girlfriend is a sweetheart. I’m very happy she is there to help you, it sounds like she cares very much for your well-being and safety. What a lovely woman. Thank you for doing this, you’re awesome for wanting to educate people to show what it’s like. Thank you!
She’s not caring enough about her safety.
@@veganbombshell I see no indication that she was in danger.
@@Starshyne9 I do.
@@veganbombshell stereotypes
@@zelda7059 Nothing to do with stereotypes. I am an advocate for mental illness. I still think she is playing doctor and it both unsafe and unhealthy for her own mental health. We can’t “fix” people. That is codependency.
Your girlfriend is amazing. My late significant other had schizophrenia and I sat with him through so many episodes. It is hard to see someone you love going through an episode. I vividly remember him laying in the bed crying and saying "I wish I wasn't like this." I miss him every day and I want to help educate people about schizophrenia and take away some of the stigma that is involved with having it. I also would like to help those who are like your girlfriend and love someone with it. All of my best to you both.
I have a loved one who suffers from this... please help.
@@sheenaking4118 what do you mean help?
@@rileysmall4317 exactly what they said
@@Wreckhouse69 i think they meant, what kind of help she wants from her/him.
Did something happen to them?
It’s an absolute disgrace, how we treat people suffering from schizophrenia. They are not monsters. They are suffering so so so badly 🖤
Man of course they are no monsters and it’s not about schizophrenia only but the whole mental thing, we are humans we are the same , having mental problems doesnt change the ability as a human being You can still do things
So is everyone else in the world your point??? Mental health issues are serious no matter thr diagnoses no one diagnoses should be favored or made more a priority. This isn't gonna end the stigma on mental health either.
That's what I was thinking, this is how my friend acted when he did shrooms
@@SaluteMalutefor sure but mental illnesses severely impede on ur ability to live. Diseases and illnesses shouldn’t make you hateful i agree but that’s it.
People dont care about mental health until that person hurts someone
I'm a 74 y/o man. I had no idea. Thank you for allowing me to experience this with you. You're a brave young man and my heart goes out to you. 😔😔😪😪😢😢😢
shes a keeper man. Shes knows EXACTLY what to say to you during these episodes and its so amazing to see
nah it looks like she is enjoying his fkin XD visions
@@alucard9668 that's not at all what I took from this. It looked, to me, exactly as was said in the video. This couple planned together to make a video, to document the episode, and it was done with respect and caring.
@@Inertia888 yeee u might be right but i've met one 2 many evil ppl to think so bruh
@@alucard9668 most schizophrenic's are usually psychopaths anyways
Yea dude, what kind of girl would want a schizo boyfriend?
My son was schizophrenic with bipolar disorder. Also autistic, he passed away it will be two years April 17, 2023. I miss him so much. People don't understand the issues, voices, and visions y'all go through. I'll pray for you. ❤️
my gosh... i have 2 autistic brothers and a bipolar mother. i know what people with those 2 disorders go through, i couldnt IMAGINE combining those let alone ADDING schizophrenia onto that. God bless your son im sure he went to heaven and is now free from all that heartache.
@@arwen08 theres no heaven
@@DanBoiBeats ur moms thighs
@@DanBoiBeats i enjoyed my sunday at church worshiping God
@Adrian Buček It will be two years then
Looking at the window like someone is literally there, the eyes darting off like your trying to avoid eye contact. I’m so happy you found a girl that loves you man. You are not alone ❤️❤️❤️
Actually.... he said the man in the window didn't have eyes - 🤓
Your lady is so sweet, reaffirming/reassuring, compassionate, understanding, and patient. You are so blessed to have her and I hope this video can bring more awareness to others. You are so wonderful for being so open about your journey ❤️.
"Anything that cannot be felt I still feel, and always have" really showed me how terrifying this disease can be. I've struggled with psychotic symptoms but never this bad.
Sort of poetic in a way.
and it also shows that the level of empathy is so incredibly high vs what we are taught about this impairment. imo
Me too. Theve been very sensory and auditory. But a long time since visual. It's very distressing..I can only imagine how much these terrifying hallucinations are. 😖🙏🙏
I've never had visual hallucinations, but I knew exactly what he meant when he said that. I have felt that. The weight, the pain, the intensity of it. It weighs so heavy, but it's like vibrating too, and the huge mix of everything from the extreme light to the extreme dark is more than can be described with words.
@@jeeess9979 You might be confusing psychopathy with schizophrenia. I might be wrong but i've never heard schizophrenia has anything to do with lack of emphaty.
The girlfriend is almost so professional. She needs to do this for a living.
Do what
@@bushlovesska Omg....
@@bushlovesska lol-
@nikoleta jack lmao, they agreed to doing that before the video. For how calm he was overall, I'd say she did amazing. Keep judging from the comfort of your armchair tho
@nikoleta jack lol, you should be respectful to the private relationship and their agreed terms.
My dad is diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, you guys have alot if the same body language with the rocking and scanning and alot of other things I noticed and it's really helping me understand what he goes through on a daily basis, I appreciate you
this actually made me tear up just seeing you change and your girlfriend doing her best to make you feel safe. wow. thank you for sharing this
I'm not schizophrenic. But I have mental health issues. It's the worst feeling when your mind can't be trusted. There's a constant internal battle. It's exhausting. The thing to remember is these episodes will pass. Give it time and self care. 💞
I'm old and I finally trust my innerself
Sending you love and hug 🙏
God bless you for saying this. It is like you have gotten into my head and understand the exhausting battle. And yes they do pass. I wish you the best
So true Julia, I struggle with the internal war daily and almost lost once again, but I'm healing my wounds and will be fighting again soon, I feel it. Best wishes to you, and yours, and everyone struggling daily. You aren't alone x
Do you take medicine
My son was diagnosed about 7 yrs ago as an adult.
Out of the blue he started walking round with his earphones in constantly, then became serverly depressed.
He was diagnosed with schizophrenia after alot of fighting with the Dr's for help.
It broke my heart because he couldn't tell me he was hearing voices telling him to hurt himself and that everybody was thinking bad thoughts about him, hence the earphones.
He's now distanced himself from me and its breaking my heart, I can't say happy Birthday or Happy Xmas or even give him a hug.
Thankyou for helping with more of a understanding.
Espero que essa situação passe e que a senhora e seu filho possam ter uma vida feliz sem problemas.
I'm so sorry. Just said a prayer for ya and your son. Big hugs🤗
Sorry 😞
Never stop telling him that you love him.
Pray in Jesus name to the Father! This is your answer and I love you guys!
I work as support staff with people who have mental illness and I have had so many conversations with people with schizophrenia at during all different times for them. Sometimes just supporting them is exhausting and leaves me mentally and physically drained. I have so much sympathy for the struggle. If it's so hard for me, I can only imagine what it's like for them. These people are so strong. It takes so much to keep going when you've got these barriers built in.
❤
Just found you on my feed. This is heartbreaking. Thank you for allowing yourself to be even more vulnerable by sharing your experience. I pray that you will get better.
As I schizophrenic I think you’re incredibly brave for posting this video!! I could never!! So keep up educating people on our condition!!
Me too, I have had psychosis for as long as I can remember also childhood schizophrenia when I was about 11 or 12 that just turned worse and never went away. He’s very brave for this. I would be horrified to put myself in front of camera like this. People like him are a voice for us.
Couldn’t even fucking imagine.
I’m severely schizophrenic and my girlfriend was like this, I wish she didn’t leave
@@sneakymilkman4203 same
@@victorgothenburg4474 how come? Just asking
What’s most upsetting and really angers me as a health care provider is when he said he was having issues with his insurance company. The average person has no idea how often health care providers encounter this situations with their patients. Doctors know what’s in the best interest of their patients and the best course of treatment. However, we are constantly doing battle with insurance companies with absolutely no medical knowledge deciding what medications they want to pay for it’s just so upsetting. My heart goes out to anyone out there who’s quality of life is dependent upon certain medications and they can’t receive the help they need.
My son is schizophrenic. I live in Alabama and it doesn’t have expanded Medicaid. I’ve been fighting for ssdi for 4 years. But without the financial resources for continued counseling and medication it has been a nightmare. He has been in a mental Heath hospital twice. They only keep him until the meds kick in and send him home, but wont refill. Then he runs out. Horrible vicious cycle.
@@camrobn oh no. Sending prayers, while wishing there were more I could do. Thank you for all you've done & continue to do for your child. Bless you!!
Ps. Fighting for disability myself rn, it's so very frustrating
As a former pharmacist, I couldn’t agree more with this.
The American healthcare system is an absolute joke.
@@camrobn Counseling system needs a lot of work. I was going through them for meds and counseling for psychotic features. According to them I was on their priority list yet they look months to get me in and were consistently understaffed. It's the one time I've felt compelled to call up and actually insult a company. I explained to them that their lack of care for me as top priority means they're leaving the ones below to suffer far worse. How many people have taken their lives because they got greedy and refused to send clients to open therapists? Also they're useless when you feel like you're going crazy. Before I ever went to the hospital I went to the therapist and explained feelings of paranoia and having problems with hallucinations. Their response was to "Get some sunlight" followed by a few anxiety relieving techniques. Things are better now but I'd very seriously be surprised to be alive if I were still in that system today.
There are “patient assistance” programs. And everyone should google their med (brand name, not generic) and patient assistance.
With a form that can be printed, the med is usually send (brand name) meds in 3-month supplies to their doctor’s office.
It helps immensely.
As a mental health provider this is the scariest of all mental illness. Im so sorry you are suffering with this. Part of my training involved a simulation of the symptoms and it was terrifying.
I’m a therapist in training and this kind of content is really helpful. Much appreciated even though it must be difficult to put out there it truely will help us help others. ❤
its so nice to see someone with schizophrenia have a partner who is so helpful with their schizophrenia ,, it kinda makes me feel a little better about possibly finding the one partner who wont leave me for having psychosis
Same
I truly believe there's always someone for everybody
Demon possession.
@@bloodyshrapnel2119 what are you talking about
@@bloodyshrapnel2119 demons aren’t real
My brother was paranoid schizophrenic and my best friend. He’s been dead for 12 years now, but he got to where he couldn’t even talk to me on the phone from his paranoia. He lived with his mom and she never gave him his meds like she was supposed to, I always felt so bad for him and I miss him so much. Thank you for having the courage to do this.
Since my mom has schizophrenia, I can tell you that sometimes, the meds don't help and sometimes, they even make things worse. Treating people with schizophrenia needs a lot of trial and error as the disease is more like a spectrum and not every schizophrenic has the same type of schizophrenia.
There are more than 100 different genes associated with schizophrenia and infectious diseases and your gut microbiome might also play an important role (if not the most important role). Toxins and your food might also contriute to the disease.
From what I read, especially if an infectious disease is present, antipsychotics alone won't help. There has been several accounts of people who have had a diagnosis of schizophrenia for several years until it turned out that they had an infectious disease and when the disease got finally treated with antiinfectives, their psychiatirc symptoms completely resolved.
Problem is that most doctors won't check people with neurotic behaviour or a family history of schizophrenia for infectious diseases and the infectious diseases that seem to be involved often are extremely hard to diagnose as there are no good tests. (Because of their features, certain infectious agents such as Bartonella henselae or Yersinia pseudotuberculosis are not easy to pin down, especially not if they switched into "chronic/latent mode")
Autoimmunity, especially of the innate immune system, might also play a role.
@@vornamenachname1069 Wow! I had no idea. I’m really sorry about your mom having this, I know it can’t be easy. I’m now wondering if it was a disease of some sort because when he died it was very unexpected, the doctor said the autopsy came back that his heart went out of rhythm. Leaves me with a lot of questions for sure. Thank you for the information, I appreciate it.
@@MarkSmith-er7fe how have you let them down? It’s not you’re fault if you have it.
@@vornamenachname1069 Thank you so much for bringing up all of this, its very important information for people to be aware of.
Research has shown that there are MANY diseases and disorders out there that are EXACERBATED OR EVEN CAUSED BY SOMETHING ELSE SEEMINGLY UNRELATED going on in the body, whether it's an infection or imbalance or whatever.
(Through doing extensive research on MS for my daughter, I've found out that a practically unknown cause of it is parasites, other infections, overuse of antibiotics and overload of yeast, & that Ivermectin of all things has been proven to help.)
You are helping many people by doing these videos, and I hope that you explore alternative therapies and nutritional approaches. I wish you the best and I'm glad you have good support in place!
@@MarkSmith-er7fe I’m not sure how close you are to your sister and niece, but I’m sure they don’t think you’ve let them down. My brother used to feel the same way so I understand what you’re saying, try not to be too hard on yourself. Hang in there!
dude, you deserve all the happiness in the world. you are so strong, and you seem like such a positive beam of light (so does your girlfriend). thanks for sharing something so vulnerable and real, i suffer from pretty extreme anxiety and my brother has ocd (pretty sure i might have a mild form of it) and while i do not know your pain, lived experience or what schizophrenia is like i have also been in some mentally awful states and knowing i'm not alone in that helps sm (not that i wish this on anyone, it's just one of those bad symptoms of having a brain that some people just have to deal with :,) ). hope you guys are well :))
Have him read the bible. He will become closer to the Father God and receive healing
The girlfriend is def a pro. I like how you have set up an environment where you still feel safe even when you are going thru it.
Many people with schizophrenia end up having suicidal thoughts because of the stress and the frustration that psychosis gives them, and unfortunately some of them succed.
I'm so glad people like you show us such an experience, in order to make us become aware of neurodiversity. Schizophrenic people are NOT monsters, but unlucky ones that are going through hell. The only need love and help.
Be proud of your sweet girlfriend, dude
I wish everyone views us like u
@@jeyasree5576 So do I. It's such a shame there's so much stigma about mental illnesses and I really want things to change. Hope you are doing fine
@@serenabaccari51 me too
Having a girlfriend that understands this illness is such a blessing. God bless.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience during an episode. My brother is diagnosed with schizophrenia and it’s the hardest thing we have been through, especially my dad because he lives with him. He’s had very traumatic episodes and my dad has done his best to be there in those moments & this video is incredibly insightful on how to help him manage through an episode
This is incredibly important so people can understand how to support somebody that may be having a schizophrenic episode amongst strangers. Thank you for being the trailblazer and being so incredibly courageous at your most vulnerable.
This actually makes me wanna cry it's like living in your own horror movie but it never ends and I always thought it was just voices they hear not that they see things
@@SimGirl00grape without the g, genius.
@@SimGirl00 youre not funny.
Damn dude I can't imagine going through this. You explaining what you see gave me chills. Thanks for sharing, I know this helps a lot of people
Thanks for sharing, and helping take the uneasiness that comes from lack of knowledge to the people who don't understand the symptoms. It's amazing you have someone you trust to help you through it.
I applaud your courage and commitment to researching your condition. Many praises to you. - Dizziness then..you hear a voice echoing. The room is distorted. "I feel everything..anything that was ever felt I feel. Anything that cannot be felt, I still feel.. and always will and always have. I hear water like a stream. I hear gunshots. When do I go home. The wars are over and I want to go home". This documented and self described transition is so uncannily similar to an NDE(near death experience) and a past life regression. I wonder if there's research being done regarding those connections? 🤔
Damn. I’ll never complain about my life again. 😢I wish you the very best young man.
Right?
Talk about humbling and inspiring.
The girlfriend talking to him from when he starts saying "I don't know anything" and onward is so sweet. She's so gentle and patient with him
I admire your unbelievable courage to make this video. I saw this as extremely educational, and I appreciate the content you were able to provide.
Thank you so much. I look after someone going through this. You are so brave. You are helping so many people by showing us exactly what goes on. God bless you and your amazing caring partner.
"I feel everything that was ever felt" I can't help but think that for a moment, he must have tuned into something big.
Married to a schizophrenic for 14 years. I understand. I see so many of the same things in him when he's episodic. The two of you are doing more for people than any healthcare provider or facility can, or WILL, ever do. I'm struggling with helping my husband for the first time since we've been together. Mostly because we have an 11 year old son and he's scared and confused as to what's going on. I'm having to be there more for my son than my husband and that's terrifying. Does your girlfriend have a support "friend"...anything?
You are amazing. The world is full of beautiful people, and you are one of them.
@@TheAlibabatree Thank you for the kind words. I can't take credit though....maybe I just have more patience and compassion than others in their life. The truly amazing people are the ones that suffer with this condition.
Sending you so much love ❤️
He, I'm just trying to help, but don't know what is best for you and son ofc. *Maybe you should watch this exact video from start to end with your son :)
You are so strong and have my admiration
Not sure its the best idea to have all those trippy paintings and banners around mid episode
Or ever
That's why I dunno if I believe him.
@@jetta.silence6356bcuz he has sick tapestries n shit?? that doesn't really make sense
@@jetta.silence6356 what is wrong with you
@@jetta.silence6356if people had psychosis everytime you saw something fictional in a tapestry or painting(or more comminly a tv show or magazine) then the entire human population would have schizophrenia. He could see these things in his room or just walking about in the city. Its just art, it plays no role in whether he has an episode or not.
Bless your soul friend. I cannot comprehend how much you go through with these terrifying hallucinations. You are truly among the bravest and most courageous people for this. Much love and prayers to you and your family
Psychosis is absolutely terrifying. It's like a horrible acid trip gone bad except it doesn't end for days atleast for me. I'm glad you have so much support you are so lucky, my family has just thrown me in the hospital and there's nothing more scary than dealing with this with strangers in a strange environment and being absolutely terrified for your life and not able to explain it to anyone. The "word salad" the delusions that are so real, the voices in your head, anyone can get through anything with some support. I pray these demons leave you alone and leave alone all people that are tortured like this from them. God bless you I'm sorry you're going through this but you'll make it through with this excellent support system you have in place. Best of luck. Thank you for spreading awareness 🙏
These are demons, I prey for in the mighty name of Jesus for this person to be left in peace.
This is resultant of Direct Energy Weapons and probing the mind with frequencies. Research it.
it'll be ok andrew
Have some patience and empathy for your parents. This illness is devastating for them too. Sometimes people are a danger to themselves or others and they don't realize it because that is a symptom of the illness. Sometimes putting someone in hospital is the kindest thing they can do.
Why do they have legal rights to punish you
This brought tears to my eyes. I’m so grateful that he was not alone. I can only imagine what it would be like to experience this totally alone. Thank goodness he has someone he loves and trusts to help keep him anchored.
I think it’s very brave to be willing to share this difficult journey with others. I have mad respect for this guy and his girlfriend.
This video was helpful for me because I doubt my illness more often than not. Since I haven't had a full-blown episode in a long time it can be easy to think I'm well again. Thanks for posting.
i admire your courage man. Thank you for this, I have never been able to actually see what this does to someone. You are very lucky that you have someone by your side that cares for you and helps you through this! Thanks for sharing man
I get the feeling youre going to make a HUGE IMPACT on this disease. I dont know you but I couldnt be more proud of you and more impressed by your girlfriend.
I really hope you 2 can be forever.
How is he making a "huge impact on this disease"?
@@MargaritaMagdalenaSharing it, so the mass human consciousness can see it and integrate it. It's a part of all of us, because we are all one. People can see it, familiarize with it, love it and create the space for it, if it happens with somebody in their circle
Lots world world salad to say "Bring awareness and perspective on the issue"@@aquie4d999
Thank you for posting this, your girlfriend is definitely a keeper. She's so loving and supportive
When i first heard the phrase "she is a keeper" for a few months i thought it means she swallows the semen
Even when he looks at her & says, "I don't like it"
She keeps saying, "hey" instead of his name.
Why doesn't she ask him something besides do you see, hear or feel anything?
Im so glad you have good gf to help you through this, my aunt had it reallyy bad and her episodes were so severe she had to live in a facility because she would become extremely dangerous she would see demons and such. She's not with us any longer, cancer took her but she was such a sweet lady when she was lucid. Keep your head up man, I know its rough having to live through this daily. Much love to you two!
Thank you for sharing this difficult time. It’s super eye opening
I constantly learn something new from you! My soon to be son-in-law is schizophrenic with bipolar depression, & has committed himself voluntarily several times since my daughter began seeing him several years back. Ty for this channel! And TY for putting the hard vulnerable stuff out there. It has helped me IMMENSELY the past few summers when I move in with them to stay with my grand kids as well as daughter & her significant other. You are providing a priceless window into a world not spoken off. YOU ARE AMAZING ✌🏽🙏❣️
You sound like an amazing step mother to have💕👏
It’s so wonderful to see you watching things for educational purposes in hopes to help better Understand someone in your daughters life. Thank you for being caring and considerate!
You are an amazing mother and human!!!
How did it turn out? Marrying someone with schizophrenia is a very rough ride. How is your daughter and her kids handling it? Has your son in law incorporated you or your daughter/grandkids into his delusions yet?
I just finished my mental health rotation in nursing school and holy CRAP did it open my eyes to my own biases and changed entirely how I feel about schizophrenia in particular…. I had two patients with schizophrenia with auditory and visual hallucinations and it was incredible to sit and talk with them. Before the rotation I was scared and felt schizophrenia meant they were volatile and dangerous and afterwords I realized how exhausted they are trying to control their hallucinations and voices and how much they need patience, support, and understanding. I very much appreciated that and videos like this. I hope you get your schizophrenia under control and kudos for educating the public on your condition.
isn't. School is blowing smoke up your ass.
Its demon possession.
🖤✨
Beautiful that you are teachable.
You will help many people with your wisdom.
My girlfriend is in RN school and has no biases. It pisses me off because people are crazy and you should judge someone based on their looks or actions SOMETIMES😂
Makes me paranoid that someone like me, might not understand her kindness and hurt her. Especially being a nurse.
Do they teach you anything about the spiritual world? Or are they still clearly ignoring that aspect? I'm sure you've seen your share of supernatural occurrences. I would love to hear some stories.
Thank you for sharing. You've helped me learn so much about experiencing schizophrenia. I appreciate you and I appreciate you spreading awareness and education.
I appreciate you making this. It really was illuminating to have this situation explained as it's ongoing. I used to just see people hallucinating and think that reality kind of breaks down for them, but there's a lot more to it, like feeling hopelessness, disorganized thoughts, dizziness, et cetera, which you helped me understand. I'm really sorry that you have to go through this. I'm glad you have people around you to help you through these.
He looks exactly how I feel during a PTSD flashback. I just go rigid, sometimes rock back and forth, and silently cry while staring at something. If someone I trust is with me I'll try my best to narrate the flashback. I can kinda hear them but it's echo-y but still very appreciated.
That rocking is in every article about any mental illness, easy to put on.
i have the same with my ptsd i can only tell people that i care about why. shit down and go rigid all the time everyday
Look into ibogaine treatment for your PTSD, I've seen it work on military men.
I have PTSD and I as well as a couple friends noticed delusions I've been having, I hope I'm not slipping into psychosis schizophrenia but I probably am. Ah well
@@loren8888don't be so hasty. Those could just be symptoms of your PTSD. Don't self-diagnose, man!
Your girlfriend handles this so well! She is amazing and keeps herself so composed and calms you down so well. If the world could handle other schizophrenics people with the compassion she does we would be in a much better place.
Is she his handler?
Thank you for sharing this! I will forward it to my son whose father was diagnosed with late on set schizoaffective disorder. Though our marriage didn't last the test of time, I feel fortunate for him because he is a smart man and has lived a great quality of life, up to now. My son's grandmother suffered from schizophrenia, controlled by meds and docs, so I am sure my son wants to just bury his head in the sand about it all. It is an illness, no different than diabetes or cancer, but it does scare a lot of people. You cannot run from family who need you and knowledge is power. From my whole heart, thank you for sharing this!
its really sad but also hopeful to see you then vs now, 4 yrs ago you had to figure out what was real on your own, and now you have support and someone there who loves you and understands how to help you. i wish you well.
I had an auditory hallucination once just as I was drifting off to sleep and it was my Dad's voice. he's been dead for quite a few years and it nearly launched me out of bed. Apparently this is fairly common when you're in the 'almost asleep' stage. I simply cannot imagine having other auditory _and_ visual hallucinations like this,...it must be terrifying before you come to grips with it if that's even a thing. Hang in there dude.
This is actually called “exploding head syndrome”! Hearing auditory hallucinations right as you’re falling asleep or right when you’re waking up so you’re still mostly unconscious
No it’s called hypnotic hallucinations I have them although they last all night and are nightmares but seem like real life
@@braidenrobison2600 ah ok thank you for letting me know
@@languid-4535 explosive head syndrome is when you hear screaming or loud noise in your head
@@braidenrobison2600 Hypnogogic hallucinations happen as you're falling asleep and hypnopompic hallucinations happen as you're waking up.
it's been 3 years since i had my (as of now) single episode of psychosis, and despite therapy, even to this day the experience and the threat of its return continues to haunt me. I couldn't fathom experiencing this on a semi-frequent basis, and my heart goes out to you and your incredible courage to record yourself at such a vulnerable moment and share it with the world. thank you so so much for helping to me feel a little less alien, both you and your wonderful gf seem like such lovely, genuine people
Some people suffer one psychotic break to never have it happen again. It’s what used to be called having a nervous breakdown. It doesn’t mean you even suffer from mental illness. The key for you is to keep your stress levels to a minimum. That should keep you from having another episode. Best wishes to you. You’ll be in my prayers.
My daughter and I made a deal.. the Moment , if it happens, she calls me and texts me.. and I go hang out with her a few days.
I have the prescription to give her if it's needed, it's been 6 years and it's never happened. She does have moments, but uses behavioral management instead of medications from the first hospitalization. Which she chose to learn about it, the meds, try them, then chose to go a different route for which there is a study not using meds, but bringing it into your world, and sharing with. Close relative or friend.
She hears things and talks out loud to them in front of people, and involves us in the conversation. And we comply.. and if we don't like what's "they" are saying, we tell them to stfu.. and.. they do..
Thankyou so much for sharing this, its really informative and I appreciate you being so open
I am so sorry you have the awful problem. Seeing you go through this really was hard but I’m so glad you have someone there with you to keep grounded. Thanks for sharing this.
You have an amazing girlfriend. I had a boyfriend who was very educated on this topic so he knew what to do when I had an episode. I was lucky to have him by my side when it happened, otherwise I wouldnt be here, because sometimes the voices told me to jump off the window and fortunately my boyfriend was there to hold me and calm me down. This video is wayyy more educative than the other, because the symptoms are super clear and you can see the evolution of the episode. Plus your girlfriend did a GREAT job here. She was very gentle while making the questions and trying to calm you down. Glad to hear you are okay now.
Medications don't keep it under control?
@@Bilbus7 everyone's different. There is no real "keep it under control“ it's more of a treating the symptoms situation. Daily meds can keep you close to your baseline but you'll always have some symptoms that are ethier un medicate able or persist even with medication.
@@Bilbus7 not always. plus, some medications worsen the symptoms
This has got to be one of the worst disorders to have. To hear and see things that are not real but, feels as real as if it was has got be so hard. My heart breaks for you that you've been afflicted with this. I love that you have found someone that is so understanding.
maaaaaan if i saw a man smiling outside my window with a big smile and no eyes looking at me i dont what am gonna do. hats off to these guys for handling it
I consider myself lucky because my psychosis comes as a symptom of my borderline personality disorder and BPD psychosis is insane so I can only imagine how awful schizophrenia hallucinations are because they are considered to have much worse psycbosis
They are real...just the majority can't see it.
@@briianajuliette
No, they absolutely are not. Spreading magical thinking type nonsense is harmful to those suffering. There was a time where people who suffered schizophrenia were thought to be possessed, and were alienated, demonized, and/or put through exorcisms.
The reality is schizophrenia is visible via PET scans and MRIs. There is actually less gray matter, which is the part of the brain that contains nerve cells. There is a deficit in the regulation of brain activity by interneurons, so that the brain over-responds.
It’s not ghosts of demons or anything else besides mental illness.
@@christinethemommy6094 My grandmother was diagnosed so I know. Kinda odd that whatever she was seeing I felt before she even saw it 🤷♀️ what I'm saying is that it's not just in their head. It's definitely not possession it's a phenomenon of some sort that's for sure. Life isn't as plain and normal as y'all think.
I admire you so much for your self awareness and for your generosity of sharing this with others ! We MUST support all folks suffering with any type of mental illness …this helps tremendously! You are a brave young man and your girlfriend is so great ! So glad you have someone you can trust !
you are so badass, this is my worst fear; not being in controll of my mind and youre handeling it so well. When I get panicattacs I feel that kind of "flashing" in my head but cant really comprehend any of it so I usually end up just saying I dont know to be left alone. I cant imagene going through that to this extreme, you are so fucking badass. So sorry you have to deal with this
Dude, you are unbelievably composed for what you have to endure visually and auditorially. It's truly impressive. You've gotta be the bravest person ever. And the calmest under such intense stress. And you're girlfriend is equally amazing. What an absolutely wonderful partner.
Thank you for being so courageous to do this. I learned so much from both watching you, and from how your girlfriend handled it all. This was such an experience to witness. I'm so glad I got to watch it, and so sorry for what you have to go through. Hope your finding an attunement/combo of therapeutic measures to minimize your symptoms and their realism. Full of gratitude for you both for expanding my understanding so immensely. Wish the best for you both. All love and respect to you guys
i cant speak for him but for me it looks very similar so. i react internally, more in my head than showing overt emotion from being so desensitized? I've had hallucinations for so long it was kinda normal for me as a kid so it wasn't as scary. instead of freaking out, I'm most likely having an anxiety attack, panicking& extremely paranoid in my head while on the outside i am perceived as calm .
@@dracohatesu9894 wow man. Sounds like you've been through/go through alot just to live out a normal day. I'm so sorry you've had to go through that. Most people just take for granted that everything sound be pretty easy through the course of a normal day. But you and many like you hafta deal with life with all those added challenges stacked on top. You must be an amazingly strong person too. Thanks for sharin that, brother
@@justinmix143 i guess i havent thought of it like that, its an interesting perspective for me :) and ofc, i really like helping and educating people on how i feel and others on the schizophrenia spectrum might feel too , i like to share my experiences & have the chance to help someone understand such a demonized and stigmatized illness a little bit better . if you r interested in learning more, i would recommend the channel "special books for special kids" , they have many interviews with people that have schizophrenia, schizoaffective,etc. and he does all types of other disabilities, illnesses, conditions etc. and they are my personal favorite from everything i've ever seen
@@dracohatesu9894 I love that channel. Been watching it for years 🙂
Mental illness runs through my family, and I have had way too much experience with loved ones who have lost contact with reality. Watching you descend into the episode broke my heart.
The most important part of dealing with mental illness is recognizing that the person struggling is receiving different information about the world than you are. They aren’t acting out of spite of trying to get attention. They are coping.
Much love to you for showing yourself in such a vulnerable way, and much love to your girlfriend for understanding that you are not your illness, that the episode will end, and you will come back to her.
And, please, everyone, vote for the people who are invested in providing mental health care and medication to everyone who needs it so that young men like this one don’t have to fight to have available medication.
Demon possession
One of the most romantic and scary videos I've ever seen. The guy seems perfectly normal. Respect to his girlfriend and I wish you get better!
This was really insightful and I really appreciate your bravery in posting!
Your girlfriend is so good, helping you stay grounded, reassuring you all the way. This is such a sad disease. Thank you for being so open.
You are easily manipulated
@@mimibee626
ruclips.net/video/40Pvi1XVm_s/видео.htmlsi=OYB4rt5X5IHToGgT
I can only imagine what you experience dude it sounds so terrifying... like when you described the guys just standing in the doorway and closet with no faces just a big smile I imagined what that would look like and it’s horrifying. I hope your medication situation gets better bro, stay healthy.
I thank you for your courage and for educating everyone on this. No one knows what this is like unless you go thru it. Thank you
Thank you for having the courage to document your symptoms like this! The more we can spread awareness and reduce stigma for all mental health conditions, the better. I'm a medicinal chemist specialising in neuropsychiatric drug development. The field is drastically underfunded and is one of the most challenging areas of drug discovery due to how little we know about the brain. Glad that the existing treatments (when you're able to access them) help so much. This unfortunately isn't the case for many other conditions :(
Damn it’s so crushing to see this shit. I’m so glad you have someone to help you navigate through this. I feel like your last episode video didn’t show what was going on as well as this did. Stay strong man
The empathy in your girlfriends voice brings tears to my eyes. Bless this wonderful soul.
Thank you so much for sharing. I have schizophrenia and find it amazing how each person's experience is so unique. Keep the channel going if you can, it helps people to become less ignorant about this condition of being. Glad you have a supportive partner.
This is so brave, congratulations for doing this, and for all your effort in life!
I've been in a relationship with a bpd, and it's not easy for anyone to understand, even those who have these conditions!
This is really educational, and I hope people can see through the episode, to really understand what you have control over, and how us, as human beings, can become more empathic, on what we can do.
7:23 is how i feel. and when he said he doesn’t know what’s going on in his head, i felt. when i experienced psychosis for the first time, i went nonverbal and my therapist(who was helping me thru it at the time) asked me “can you speak? will they allow you to speak?” and my jaw just locked up and mumbled the words “yea” very quietly❤ sending love
It seems like a bad acid trip... I am so sorry that your brain is turning against you... I've had a few of these episodes in my life...if I didn't have someone who knew me and cared for me, it would be so much worse. Your partner is your ground. Thank you for your video... you are not alone in your struggle. Stay safe.
It really does
Sucks that it isn't just an acid trip for him, it's a permanent form of life.
Doesn't define him though
@@BamBabyBrendawhat they meant is it feels like a acid bad trip
I know a man who was at a festival and someone put like 50+ hits of acid in water and passed it around, he was in the hospital for months afterwards, and diagnosed schizophrenic
Your comment just made me think of him
I thought the same thing. Especially when he started to say the room was dull
God bless you, thank you for making this educational video. You are helping people!thank you!!
I remember seeing your first video a while back and as someone who has always had hallucinations and mild delusions it really resonated with me. I recently got the unlucky event of my first real intense episode and I am glad that there are people who take the effort to document these things and it really inspires me. I try to make sure I write everything I experience but I feel like maybe it would be good to share it somewhere. I think a lot of people don't really understand the variety of what hallucinations can be like and don't really understand how disturbing and sometimes completely incomprehensible some things that come with the big episodes can be.
Thank you for putting yourself out there like this in such a candid way.
My son is schizophrenic- undiagnosed and unmedicated.
He is so paranoid and verbally aggressive that I stopped talking with him because he attacked me and accused me of having other people listen to our conversations and laugh at him.
This went on for years- he’s in his late 40’s now.
I took him for therapy when he was younger and he was in residential treatment at 17 because of drugs, and although he felt it helped him, he was never diagnosed.
He feels he was sent here by God to suffer.
It’s heartbreaking.
My heart goes out to you Lindsey. One day he will be set free from it and you will know him free of it
Pray for him in the name of Jesus! This is your answer and I love you guys!
Romans 10: 9-10 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.
@@airflowfpv7791Are yu insinuating no schizophrenics have prayed?
@@OrthodoxSpartiThis is such total BS
This was hard to watch, as a mom I just want to say you’re so brave for documenting your journey while helping others going through the same thing. Prayers.
Love you too, Bro. I've dealt with Schizophrenia, the meds made it go away. If you are watching this, please take your medication if you aren't, you are living in hell and meds can make you feel normal again. You can have a normal life, just take your meds. If you need a friend or someone to talk to, I'm usually around. Just know that you are loved and cared about.
she's so supportive, the cute names, the "it's ok", her voice getting calmer as he gets deeper into it. ugh my heart ♥
I love you and what you’re girlfriend are doing for struggling folks. Super proud of who you are and what you aspire to do with this channel, a very brave soul you are. Much love. Keep at it! X
From what I learned in your video is that it seems that being clear and short in your questions to someone going through an episode is important because they are so overwhelmed in the moment, that it's hard to process and trust what they've heard. Thank you for the opportunity to watch!
Well like they said, his thoughts are disorganized. When you're having an episode it's hard to pay attention to any external information for more than a few seconds.
Positively loaded words are also helpful, so it doesn't get misinterpretet. For example: "you are safe" instead of "it is not dangerous". The person might only catch the word dangerous and become more afraid or upset.
Man I really appreciate these. It's a great insight. Really puts things into perspective. Thanks.
Thank you so much for doing this video. My dad had paranoid schizophrenia and I could never understand what he was going through because I was a child. You showed me and I am so appreciative of this. I was 14 years old when he passed away from lung cancer and never knew he had it until I was older and my mom told me about it. I'm sad for my dad that he went through this but you are amazing because I'm sure you are helping so many people that have this and don't know what to do. Thank you so much
The look you get in your eyes at times, like you are scared to death to speak about something you saw or heard, as well as the final look into the camera of distrust, were the EXACT same as my friend when he had episodes too. I was his caretaker for 8 months, but he also has DID and one of his alters was the one with schizophrenia. It's confusing. My heart stopped. I could almost feel myself back in time trying to help him, reassure him. Your girlfriend is wonderful and I hope you are still together. It's not much to base a relationship on (11 min vid), but that is a great quality to have in a partner. I have had my meds screwed up before and it was not a pretty outcome. I was cut off my meds and stuck in a refill battle...twice. I'm terrified to run out of my meds now. I hope you are back on track and not having them as frequent. Thank you for sharing this with everyone.
Man you're a trooper! It takes a special kind of brave to deal with this and keep fighting through life.
Just want to say thank you for being so open about your life's journey man. I'm glad you have a solid support system. Take care!
Impressive, thank you for sharing it is truly a beautiful for me to witness this. I’ve never been diagnosed but I feel so connected to your experience in a way, again, thank you so much.