I started doing drugs since my teenage, got addicted to meth for over 6 years. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 3 years totally clean. This is something that really need to be use globally to help people with related health challenges.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES sure of mycologist Predroshrooms. Mushrooms literally got me off my feet and turned my whole life around. I am currently a housing manager for a recovery program. I wouldn't have been able to do that shit without psilocybin.
Thanks for sharing your story. That's rough I sympathize. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health. I will pray for you all.
I was on meth for 9 years. I was going down hard but I did rehab and my family was there for me. I got off it and it’s been 18 months sober. Life is never easy but it’s heaps better. Love to all the hurting people out there.
I can totally understand where this guy is coming from. I've been addicted to meth for close to ten years but I am a functional addict and get up and go to work every day and hide it from the world. I've been in treatment twice and can't seem to shake it. Over the years, it has caused some problems and I have been lucky enough to have people who cared enough about me to not let me become homeless or go hungry so I am very blessed, but I would like nothing more than to be sober again and be the person I used to be.
If you truly wanted it more than anything, you would quit. I know only my own struggle with it. Its not the same for everyone. But what is true is that we are all doing it to escape something or because the lawn needs to be vacuumed. Lol. Truth is it's a temp fix with problems that are gonna happen at some point, it's a matter of time. Its easier not to care, and not look past tomorrow. In your heart you will follow what you truly want. And just because someone gets high should never be a reason to judge anyone. Especially another drug user. It blows me away to hear people who use dope, and talk badly about someone who does herion. Everyone is functional BTW
You have to find Joy brother. A feeling that is only accessible by trusting God thru good and bad days. No drug or person will bring u joy like God will, it is the best feeling and the most important thing is it LASTS
I used for 25 years but I had a carpet installing trade the mass actually maybe able to really concentrate I was known for attention to detail but I'm all down and clean but I have very hard time concentrating now I miss the meth but I can never go back
I’m living in recovery since Dec 2022. This time last year I had just got out of intensive inpatient treatment for 63 days. It was forced pretty much bc of legal reasons. That being said, it was the best thing I’ve ever done in my 51 years of life! I am so grateful words can’t express how grateful I truly am! I was also a functioning addict. I hid it from everyone or so I thought. Today I am 444 days sober!!
As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about how mushrooms and psychedelics treats anxiety, but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, doctor Greg mushroom I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Interesting fact: Methamphetamine is actually a prescription ADHD/anti-obesity medication in the United States called Desoxyn, dispensed orally. Oral metabolism is slower than smoking, snorting or injecting. Thanks as always for these high-quality interviews.
It's very rare that someone actually gets such a prescription. But soooo many people self medicate with it. Another fun fact is that, it doesn't have neurotoxic effects unless you exceed a dose of 60mg, but most people will not have the restraint to keep from going past that.
If you've ever dabbled with Adderall, also an adhd medication, the effects of high doses are extremely similar to meth. Meth is gross though. Don't do meth.
The compassion he has for his dog and not for himself is extremely relatable especially for those of us who've been thru trauma. You are worthy and deserve better! ❤️
@@00MailysMaybe the heroin addicted 'wife' and mother he was with for 18 years, should've thought about that before doing the dirty with his 'best freind' "Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes"
I retired after 20 yrs in the military, 3 combat tours. I lost a limb on my last tour and suffered a severe TBI. I am sad to say I self medicate for my ptsd and depression. I am a functional husband and father. I tried meth once and that was enough to say no way. Nothing about it was enjoyable. It tastes like shit, I couldn't catch my breath and it was an anxiety filled couple of hours and I just wanted to come down from that high. It was terrible, I don't understand why people do it and what they find enjoyable about it. I don't drink or smoke weed. The VA had me so fucked up on 13 psych meds evey night. It was a horrible 12 years until I took myself off them. Unfortunately, the opiods I was taking for my stump pain became my prison. It's the only thing I found that numbs my physical and emotional pain. Not proud of it and I truly hate that it owns me but I take it day by day. The VA has offered to remove more of my leg to see if that helps with pain. Thanks, just what I want. More of my body missing. I'm not bitching or crying here for sympathy, just sharing a story. It feels good to say it out loud to random people. IDK, I hope this man can get help, as well as others. I understand the demon that addiction can be no matter what your poison is. I'm in church every Sunday. I know it's sinful, I pray for forgiveness and strength. I know Jesus can't do it for me. I'm really sorry and I'm trying. I did a lot of evil shit in combat, especially during my first tour in AR Ramadi, Iraq in 2005. God bless everyone struggling in this life.
Wow, I know I'm just a civilian, but thanks so much for sharing that man. I love listening to those who are willing to share. It's hard for people like me to understand your perspective about what you and others have witnessed overseas. I have read books about Ramadi and I can't fathom what that must have been like. Heartwrenching to see so many folks get taken by their demons. We're all brothers here to support one another. If it means anything, you're not forgotten about and you have my support in every sense of the word. Stay strong my friend 🇺🇸
Thank you for your service. Please stop being hard on yourself. You've been through alot a huge loss and no one can ever say you didn't! May God bless you in healing and teach you self-acceptance not an easy task. No one is perfect and we all have flaws. God Bless!
Thank you for your courage and unimaginable sacrifice. I'm praying for The Lord of Peace to fill your heart, and just heal all of your hurts. You have no idea how amazing a person you are. Please Don't give up, without strength like yours this world is doomed.
When I was struggling with addiction and on the street, my dog was my reason to get up every day. No matter how bad I got, I always made sure she was fed and safe and loving her was enough to keep me going on until I eventually learned to love myself enough to stop using. Though I had a vehicle to sleep in during the periods where I had no place to stay, I still hated myself for not having a real roof over our heads, and not being the kind of owner or person I wanted to be. Now I'm 2 years and 2 months clean and in a nice place in a nice town with my dog and I'm thankful every day that I was able to leave it behind. I still have a lot of work to do and every day is as much a test as it is a blessing, but I'm happy to be here. There is more waiting for you in life, and don't hate yourself for the mistakes you've made so much that you feel you don't deserve it
Word, truth is many of these people are more real and compassionate than the “straight” world. Lost my ODB (best dog) after the worst night of my life. Woke up SF general no wallet dog ID money nothing. Had my keys though. Found the car and over a few days found my dog
Thats right the past is practice. No mistakes just lessons learned. Unless you continue to do them but that becomes a choice. We are here to make "mistakes" so we can learn amd grow from them.
WILD INTERVIEW! I have a couple co workers at work that hit the pipe at work and think we have no idea haha - they’re not too great at their jobs and they’re tucked away in the factory part. One In particular who’s been there since the very start of the company. Some times we get a lucky hand of cards to start life with. A mother who lets you occupy her basement and a friend who will look past all the drugs and let you work for them. Functional addicts are out there
Plenty of functioning addicts that have their own home and own business as-well who didn’t have a lucky hand of cards. But with meth it seems like it eventually gets you. I worked with guy for 15 years and he started smoking meth it wasn’t long till he got fired for missing work. He would stay up for days and crash hard so he would be sleeping when he was supposed to be at work.
You call it “a lucky hand”.....but coming from a former addict, I kinda see it differently. There’s a fine line between helping and enabling Maybe if these guys didn’t have a free basement to live in, or a friend who will employ them to be a crappy worker getting high on the job, then maybe they would be forced to battle their addiction, overcome it, and have a better life So is it really so “lucky” to have people in your life that will effectively “help” you to stay an addict?? I stopped being an addict because my family and friends wouldn’t enable my bullshit
He's not fooling anyone, he straight up looks and sounds like the meth junkie he is. And the fact he puts meth before his family speaks volumes...p.o.s.!
He has a bigger issue than drugs right now... its accountability. If he starts holding himself accountable, i can almost gaurauntee his life will turn around.
He looks shockingly healthy despite nearly a lifetime of abusing his body and being in that lifestyle. I think stable housing is really what separates him from the other addicts
Just like with anything else, simple self love and care is all that is required to have zero physical appearance of being a user. If you eat well, stay hydrated, take vitamins, and the most important is sleep, there are no signs of someone being a user. You would probably be surprised if you really had an idea of just how many are out there among the neurotypicals. The day walker club is quite expansive and has one hell of a support network. The media of course publishes all of these photos of these poor stick figure folks with a mouth full of rotten teeth to discourage people from using, which is fine of course... It's just not an accurate representation of the vast majority. We exist in all walks of life, across all industries and at all levels of employment. We mean no harm and you'd not ever suspect those of us that more or less self medicate, with exactly what works for us but no medical professional in this country would prescribe. It shares a similar stigma as marijuana used to, for the same reason. Both of those substances are easily produced by anyone with a decent head on their shoulders. That is why most drugs are illegal. Big pharma would lose a TON of revenue. I don't think anyone can honestly say that big pharma and big business in general doesn't own our government. The current state of affairs is a clear indication of that. The middle class individual in this country gets squeezed harder and harder every year, while conversely, the big corporations are experiencing their largest windfalls since the Robber Baron Era. The point of that meandering paragraph is that policy is written to favor business and keep the average citizen down. People like this good man, and maybe myself more accurately represent the average daily user. Sure, we can chat it up quite a bit, but besides that we're just people trying to get by in a world where (speaking for myself) people are more and more ignorant and disrespectful, anti intellectualism is almost the majority and our government is as shady as a willow tree. My curse is a high IQ, and I suspect that this gentleman suffers the same fate. I think I am through rambling for now. Hopefully this gives a little more insight into the reality vs. the propaganda of the substance.
Most amphetamine abusers, even pretty heavy speed freaks come off as normal to the people around them unless things have gotten really out of hand. The "high" of stimulants at a sustainable dosage is far more mental than physical, the clarity of thought, improved memory, better coordination and motor skills, the confidence and empathy ect. The manic, running around in circles thing only comes from, if you have a low tolerance then jump right at a beefy dose or if your just drowning yourself in the stuff. If your not doing insane dosages most amphetamines, even meth to a measured degree, do not really cause any harm to the body as long as you eat enough and get your 6-8 hours of sleep
Amphetamine users are generally pretty normal. If you're in America, stimulant users actually play into the local culture in a lot of jobs. Some amphetamine users who are psychologically dependent might be irritable or depressed or just generally a little mean but that's something you can control if you try. It's your fault if you let it slip and you have to be responsible.
@@duoquad2175 Yeah the severe tweaker stereotype is incredibly far from reality for the majority, so far from the norm people who dont know assume thats how everyone is because they are legitimately unaware of the majority
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
When I used to do meth and hold a job I was not really functional. The drug doesn't allow for that. Some days you have to call in sick because you didn't sleep at all and you feel weird or unwell. I still ate or slept between my meth days so in that respect it was functional.
While I think almost everyone can have a bit of a duality in them, listening to John's story really made me see a Jekyll & Hyde (I think he said as much about himself). I see a lot of good but I think he is also super self aware of the bad - agree that while masking this in drugs for as long as he has, he is in amazing shape from the outside. The human body is truly amazing in what some can tolerate over a lifetime.
This guy is so full of contradictions. Not a thief, but a thief. Employable, but not employable. Unemotional, but full of anger. His antisocial, sociopathic demeanor is so classic in the habitual meth user. I really feel sorry for him and hope that he tries to get sober so he can work on the things so does not have to use to drugs to make him tolerable to be around. I see this and know this from experience.
when he said he doesn't remember if something happened to him with the sexual predator it made me think he may have, D.I.D disorder. where he has personalities take over him. I think many people with that dissociation are addicts and drinkers thinking drinking is their memory loss or drugs, but it could be DiD
I've been clean from meth for 2 years & 3 months. I now work with teens who have suffered all forms of abuse whether done by someone or self-inflicted. Very happy, functional, & stable these days. I pray others can not only come out of the addiction but to also flourish when they do. 🙏
On the other side of a meth addict, its not easy living with and loving them. When they say meth destroys everything its true. I watched it destroy my marriage and my husband to the point of leaving him. I here this man completely. O watched my husband go from drinking, to Coke, to crack, to meth. We've been apart for 23 years and hes still drinking every day and still using meth. I see what its doing to him and he will die doing both. 😢
I can relate when you speak of being cheated by your wife! I was also cheated and my biggest regret was allowing the pain and my actions from it, to wreck my life and everything I had worked for up until that point! I had a very successful business, nice home, great friends all the toys I wanted and I completely destroyed all of that, because I couldn't handle the pain! What a waste and I have never financially recovered! Forgive and move on.........
Hey, I can relate brother. The stories we could share. What doesn't kill is makes us stronger, right? Don't you want to punch whoever said that first in the mouth?? But, seriously, wisdom is gained from seeing and experiencing bad shit. As long as we can forge ahead. Sometimes even getting out of bed can be a daunting task. We all have a house we need to heat. That's a good reason to plow through this life and show who's boss!!! Plus kids, family, friends, etc. As long as we know there are people that love us it'll be ok.
The best thing we all can do is love ourselves before getting involved with another person so that we rely on their love to make us feel loved. Loving yourself looks a lot different than when someone else does the loving and it strengthens your ability to find someone who also loves themself so that there is a mutual respect, not dependent on the other. I hope our society starts to teach this to children and heals, though it will take time.
It’s easier said than done!! Men put all their eggs in one basket. Women ALWAYS have options and they’re always looking to monkey Branch if the opportunity arises. Men are the romantics. The true lovers. Women are Hypergamous and opportunistic. Women don’t care about a man’s struggles, they wait at the finish line and choose the winners. Facts. You can get angry about it, or you can accept the rules of engagement and proceed accordingly. Play to win IE always have friends and a social life outside of your intimate relationship. If she leaves, you aren’t completely alone, abandoned, and suicidal. And always be the best you that you can be. Finally, F her properly: do it hard, make her feel your strength, and always keep it exciting and avoid it becoming mundane. Best of luck men.
You people kill me especially the ones that have never done a drug of anykind you have no clue what you are talking about so stick to something you know about
Yes. He talks a big game 💪🏽💀 mentioning gaining weight muscle and 180 pounds. I think the drugs make you delusional not many men are afraid of 180 pound person just saying🤔
I have been a "functioning" meth addict for almost 20 years. I am a daily user. I own my home & car. I never lost custody of my kids (who had no idea I did meth until they were adults). I have never stolen from anyone or sold/pawned anything for meth (including myself). I have all my teeth. I've never been arrested (well once, but that was before meth). Now, I say "functioning" but really I can't function without it. My daughter & grandbabies live in Hawaii & wanted me to come see them. I can't because I don't have a plug in Hawaii. I have to make sure I have it at all times, or I literally can not get out of bed. I can't travel anywhere unless I am driving because I'm too worried about taking it on a plane. I would love to quit, but I have responsibilities that I wouldn't be able to take care of without it. It fucking sucks!
I feel that too much, I live a completely functional life on meth, but without it I cannot function, and that part does bother me....the trapped, and without choice feeling sucks
I'm the same! I've always been very independent. I've always had a jod, and never as a prostitute or stripper. I can't get out of bed without it either. I have been sober a couple of times. It's so hard to get motivated without. Next to impossible. It's good to know I'm not the only one I guess.
he talks about his personality with an authority of self awareness as though he knows exactly who he is. yet he hasn't been sober since he was 15, four decades ago. i dont think he ever got to meet himself. it is terribly sad, being so in denial of running away from yourself your entire life. we all do and we all kid ourselves to a certain extent, but it is just so obvious with addicts that when you run away from your pain you ultimately run away from yourself until there is just a void left.
Even if he did know who he was when he was 15 afte 15 years on tha shit and you get sober you know you are and you don't get joy or pleasure outta the same thing you did. Your dopemineis so blown out you have to learn everything about yourself again while you teach yourself what it is that you or the the dope.
I think he’s coming to terms of what he really is and this is away to let those who know him know. There’ll be a lot of people out there saying, o.k. That makes sense now why he acted like that. I wish him well. I hope this reaches you and those you love in great health and happiness❤️🙏
There is a poem from a Hungarian poet, here is the English translation of it, the first two rows sprung into my mind when I read your comment: "Foreword by Frigyes Karinthy I must not tell to anyone, So, tell it I will to everyone,
I tried to whisper - mouth to ear the reach - To all of you, but one to one with each.
That secret, though the same, when said and done, Is only meant to pass from one to one.
That secret for which I - so once conspired -, Came into the world all bloodied and mired,
The word, that secret, that tiny miracle, That I should search and find that other one And whisper in her ear: do pass it on.
I must not tell to anyone, So, tell it I will to everyone.
‘Tis half-way out, I almost said my bit, It used to stick before I blurted it.
One just blushed, was hot from all of this, She whispered, too, but it had turned to kiss.
The other hardened to ice, she froze, Went to her grave, she left me, I suppose.
I must not tell to anyone, So, tell it I will to everyone.
The third, she gave me a sudden look, She laughed, I laughed, that's all it took.
As a child, I wrote on a doing list: Talk to god if he does exist.
Not in a burning bush, nor wine, nor bread, Had he appeared for me, that must be said.
In vain I waited, with envious persistence, was judged unworthy to trust in his existence.
I must not tell to anyone, So, tell it I will to everyone.
That teasing and torture hurt, to give them voice: To be bad could well have been a better choice.
For sin and goodness, are merely dreams it seems And reality is greater than the dreams,
That here I am, perhaps for days to come, As witness to the shining of the sun.
I am no god, no world, I dare assume, No northern light, nor aloe vera bloom.
Not better or worse than others in my tribe, Yet I'm the most: a human who's alive.
Relation, acquaintance am I to all Descendant, successor am I to all
I must not tell to anyone, So, tell it I will to everyone.
Tell I will, or I would tell, But lame my hands and I stutter as well.
I 'd tell where the road leads, I know the bends, Do try to help me, reach out your hands.
Lift me to speak, to see, to live - you must… I cannot be speaking down here in the dust.
Discarded the rattle, bells I have none, My voice in the dust is one to shun.
Foot on my chest, trodden down I lie, Do come and lift me, do lift me high.
From many on offer, a pulpit I'll hire, Let me go up it to what I aspire.
I don't yet know it, I don't know what I'll say, But think 'tis glad tidings I'll bring today.
Glad tidings, good news, rainbows and secrets For you, whom I loved, Whilst wide-eyed, standing, for wonders I waited.
Which I cannot tell to anyone, Which I now will tell to everyone. Translated by Kery, Leslie A."
Hummmmm. No empathy? Dealing, using, stealing, malevolent narcissist. They treat dogs better than humans. Out of touch with reality. Remorse, forgiveness, kindness, humility would be refreshing. 😮
Does everybody remember the three part interview with Matthew a functioning drug addict. In the second interview, Matthew came back and said that he lied about being functioning. That he could only maintain the appearance of functioning and really drugs were still at the route of most of his problems.
I'm currently trying to help my ex-partner get clean of substance abuse behavior, 30 years smoking pot, 15 years doing meth (which he hid from me the whole time), drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes. We had been together for 27 years since the age of 16. He had always been a highly functional addict and it is only now in hindsight and plenty of research that I understand exactly what the meth use done to his beautiful personality. He is currently 7 months clean and is only smoking cigarettes as a coping mechanism. It is early days, but I live in hope that he can be one of the 5% that can remain a recovering addict. Meth is a hideous drug, I feel for any family member that is dealing with an addict.
Psilocybin mushroom therapy. Bare minimum MDMA or LSD, but psilocybin is the best bet in helping to rewire the mind and heal from addictive behaviours.
This guy is literally me. His entire story is my life.(minus the gangs and i raised a daughter as a single dad and I currently have HUD housing ) . Incredible how much his personality is my reflection. Jon. bro. keep on keeping on. love it man. Much respect.
As I lay in my hospital bed again. I ran across this video. Funny because I had only hours ago uddered the same words to my different doctors. I am a highly functional meth addict. I do small amounts, just enough to get what needs to be done. Up until two years ago I had eleven years clean. I actually didn't start until I was thirty eight, did a 10 year run. At 14 months clean I shot myself in the head. I had no residual results. And again I pulled off 11 years clean. I'm a disabled Veteran who can out multi task any 20 something. I'm currently 61. I'm currently in a program with 4 days. Easy to do form a hospital bed. I do have limited but stable income, shelter, and food. Even a vehicle, although I am unable to drive at the present. My friend/caretaker drives for me. I have Charcot Joint Disease in my right foot 🦶. But more serious than that is my congestive heart failure and AFib. I have to stop because of that. If it wasn't for those conditions I would continue to use. I took have my dog who I'd kill for and my 3 bearded dragons. More power to you. BTW at 61 I just graduated HVAC school with honors while being high every day. Go figure.
I know someone like this. They think they are functional because they can use drugs AND go to work (most days, 90% of the time). Everything in their life is dysfunctional, their relationships, kids, house, yard, finances, and friends. Its all perception. They think it is awesome, everyone else sees the same life as a mess.
It's because they are not truly functional drug addicts you are able to see their life in ruin. A true functional addict like myself blends in with everyone else and you would never in a million years suspect that i am high all the time. There are a lot more functional addicts than you think, trust me. But you would never in a million years think that. It's like people who have a few drinks a day, but instead of drinking which gets me bloatred and tired, i prefer to do something that will make me feel 1000x better with less harmful effects on my body.
@@mikemaldanado6015 You try to tell people this but they never believe it, because the only addicts they know of are the ones that stick out as problematic. As someone who dealt for a long long time, I can confirm that most of my clients were normal folk that you'd never in a million years suspect. Normal people living normal lives, had careers, families, kids, etc.. From nurses, doctors and lawyers all the way to fast food and construction workers, it was rare I had a client that I considered to be stereotypical of what most people think of. Some had dysfunction in their families or relationships, but in almost every case, the source of that dysfunction wasn't them, they were just dealing with it. Now, a half ounce every two weeks.. yikes. I have a hard time believing that he's functional on THAT much, but hey, everyone is different. That's just.... a lot..
After using crystal all day every day for about a month maybe 2, it stops effecting you like it did. Your body and brain get used to it and you build up a tolerance. Your hunger comes back like normal and it doesn't keep you awake like it did. It eventually gets to where it doesn't have an effect on you at all. This is how people get to the point to eat, sleep and function for the most part. The ONLY way to get the original effect from using it is to take a break, at least a week of using none at all. Your brain has to build your dopamine levels back up. This is why it slowly stops getting you high as time goes on if your using constantly every day like I did before I got sober. You deplete your self of dopamine. I didn't learn this until I started selling it therefore I had enough that I was high every minute of every day til I wasn't able to get high because I depleted myself of the chemicals that our brain releases when we use. So many people can't stop using even when they get to this point. They will be mad and frustrated every day because they aren't getting high off the dope anymore but they are so weak minded they will put thereself thru that instead of stopping and forcing them selves not to use for just a week. I did it all the time. I never WANTED to either but I made myself because I knew the reward from stopping for at least 4 or 5 days was gonna what I wanted most in the world at that time. Anyway, I been sober 4 years. This is all past experience
Man I used to read comments of people being clean while I was on meth and I’d be kinda mad at them but now I’m 3 years sober and man I love seeing other peoples stories
@@dcapjunkcongrats! I got off of meth when I found out I was pregnant with my son 7 years ago. There’ll be a rare day where I miss it but then I remember how badly my life was falling apart when I was on it
All drugs, including meth, affect every individual differently.This guy is very unusual in that he could use prodigiously and still just about get by. Most people simply can't do that. That's why most meth addicts end up in jail, insane or dead.
Holy shit that makes a lot of sense, thankfully i didnt continuing using after peaking tolerance because i knew it wouldn't work anymore, it literally stops feeling good. I can't believe people just keep going though lmfaooo do you really think it's weakmindedness though?!?? I'm blushing right now but i will say, after meth stopped feeling good i only kept using it in smaller doses than the smallest doses of Adderall (it's much cheaper this way in México) only once or twice a week, if at all. So yeah, $4 (about 70 pesos) worth of crystal ends up lasting me AT LEAST 2 months lol if i have food in my stomach id rather just drink coffee but meth is still useful every now and then
You'd be surprised how many people that don't use drugs, never have and are homeless. Some even have jobs but are still homeless. And of those, some still are homeless by choice.
Going through a horrible separation since August 10th from a meth addict that shoots it in his pelvic region to hide it. I still love him. Pregnant with his boy. He just totaled our SUV. Now he wants to take the broke ass old car that's mine. Oh & he's cross dressing....came out on Facebook the other day...as a confused bisexual crossdresser. He just got fired from an amazing job and I'm losing the house as we speak. Haven't seen him since August 10th or heard a word...he beat me up bad & whiped our joint account of every penny. Over $4,700. Just got out taxes back. Stole all kinds of stuff. Stalking & harassing me I had to get a protective order. It's worse now...
"Functioning" is very much a subjective term. Especially for addicts. My father would've said he was a functioning alcoholic. And sure he could hold a job and earn an income, for awhile... Until his control slipped and he drank too late into the night and showed up at work the next day, still drunk. Or when he was so exhausted, hungover and completely wrecked that he fell down the stairs at work and cracked his head open and was fired. He could pay his rent for awhile until he missed too much work or was fired again and then he'd lose his housing. His family gave him chance after chance but he'd always screw that up too. Ultimately, he drank himself to death a few years ago. Literally drank too much, passed out and then asphyxiated on his own vomit. Still claiming he was "functioning".
Very true! Most addicts think they’re functional. I heavily abused alcohol for a few years and didn’t see it as problematic until I cut way back. Human beings are incredibly poor judges of our own character.
There is no such thing as a functioning addict which I could fall into that category but take away the drugs or alcohol and see how functioning they are
Yeah, it's part of our (alcoholics) denial. You might function for a while but it's temporary. Not to mention that what we pass off as "functioning" is a low bar. Sure, I could drink and have friends and a job, but I didn't have extra money, hobbies, or peace of mind. Truly functional people grow. Addiction stunts growth and wastes potential. All the best to everyone - recovery is possible.
@@ferguson8143I am a functional addict since 30 years. I am in same company since 20 years, sure there was some embarrassing situations at work from time to time. But up to today, it’s working out, sure it’s a dangerous game, not sure what happens when my employer might know. But per law, they are not allowed to kick me out. It’s a disease, and no reason for firing.
There is something to be said about people with nothing to lose - they can be incredibly honest. These interviews are so compelling because of this fact. It is so refreshing to hear someone speak openly about the the mistakes they've made and the problems they face. Especially as the world becomes more and more fake. Some would call him a socio/psychopath but I am more cautious of the people who hide their true natures and present a mask of perfection to the world while they harbor deep, unexpressed anger and resentment, ie; Ted Bundy. And there are millions of Ted Bundy's all around us who never kill but instead covertly manipulate others. I would much rather deal with a man who tells you who he is to your face.
He talks about the dog like he really love him. Never really talks that way about his kids. Hopefully someone raised them better then what he would have done for them. I hope the kids have a good life.
Lots of people think they are "functional" drug addicts. However in my experience, that is their opinion solely. I own an automotive repair shop. Mechanics are a demographic where drug use is common. I can tell when they are using and when they are not. They might do the job and do it quickly, but the state of their tools (unorganized mess), cleanliness of the shop, the various jobs in various stages of repair at the same time (taking apart seems to be easy, putting back together not so much), the rate at which customers return for problems after repairs, etc. all of that tells me the story about them. It's clear as day to me. To them, they think they are doing great.
I've considered doing something like this, it's hard to get clean, especially when you've been hiding your life for so long. This is a respectable way for others to find out with your story before just shutting you out of their life and losing your job for being an addict. Sure, it will result in some of that but it also provides support and future opportunities you wouldn't have on your own. Especially if you're spiraling bad. Better to make this your rock bottom than digging the hole deeper.
If you Do consider it, at least you won't risk rolling the dice on your life, especially most drugs laced with fent. It's a Shane this is so prevalent in the states.
This dude never once put any responsibility on himself and his marriage lol. He was drinking and doing drugs and probably being a horrible husband. Doesn’t make it ok to cheat but damn man can you blame her.
this man’s life would be totally different with therapy in regards to the trauma he doesn’t remember. your body always remembers. read “the body keeps the score.” and - if he would get diagnosed because he almost certainly has ADHD; coming from someone with ADHD themselves. therapy and being on the right meds could save him. ❤
ADHD is a made up disease used by big pharma to hook kids on prescription amphetamines. It’s crazy people think it’s real, of course you’ll be able to focus better on medical grade meth
Great book ! Love Gabor Mate .. I know a few functional addicts & they are very honest people.. great interview.. he sounds like he has ADHD..I got my diagnosis within 6 months….
I dont think its difficult to get a diagnosis if you actually have adhd, even in adulthood. I think its only hard if you have a history of drug or alcohol use/abuse. Docs will likely diagnose you but you're definitely not getting any meds.
@@ashleighthompson2855 yeah but a dentist doesn't make them they pay a smaller company to make the mock ups and the molds and the veneers , if the dentist doesn't get paid, the smaller company doesn't get paid, you may think you're sticking it to the man, but as the say Sh*t rolls downhill and it never effects the person you're trying to target.
He’s ADHD undiagnosed. I’m a doctor and when he said the meth calms him down. Anyone who takes a stimulant drug like meth or Ritalin and it calms them, the dopamine levels in the brain are low and these meds increase dopamine. He’s more violent and harsh when unmedicated. That’s a symptom
There is physical addiction. After that it's a behavioral and environmental issue. That addiction is a disease nonsense keeps rehabs in operation despite a 9% success rate
I was prescribed Ritalin at 5 years old for ADD. Been on every medication for ADD under the sun except Desoxyn. I HATED Ritalin and Dexedrine and Vyvanse but Adderall gave me more energy and focus and sexual satisfaction than anything. Adderall was definitely a huge part of my life throughout high school into early adulthood until I’m quit everything cold turkey. I would crush down the 20XR capsule granular salts and snort it 3 times a day. Not all amphetamines have the same effects but I can honestly say Adderall is the closest to Methamphetamine without all the dirty impurities. I’ve been 15 years clean from amphetamines but I still think about it to this day.
His kids are so lucky to have such a loving father. He didnt care about them being orphans and he barely cares about them. He deserves every bad thing that happens to him. What a tough guy.
Americans have perfected the art of being both sanctimonious and deliberately indifferent to the plight of others. As a society do we really care about the well being of others?
Sometimes I realize how different people lives would turn out if just they were loved from childhood. Thank goodness for his dog ,it will love him unconditionally as he deserves no judgement.
Oh dear gawd, I bet you say that about all the violent inmates they release from prison as soon as they get in, poor babies, I can change you by loving you. You'r the kind of person that gets in abusive relationships....sad
John is in amazing shape for someone who's been hitting it so hard for so long. Goes to show how important getting up every morning with a purpose is when it comes to staying well preserved.
Having a job with a decent wage coming in every week and a dependable drug supply makes a difference. Take away any one of those things, and everything will be completely different.
Its crazy he's able to maintain this... usually you start doing the drugs... after awhile the drugs start doing you. Being a meth user and not letting it take over is rare! Being able to get adequate rest and function at work takes a certain type of person.
Functional addict just like there are Functional alcoholics.. sleep,.. even as little as he may get, hydration and still having that will to stay motivated helps..everyone isn't the same.. its easier to hide when you're Functional because you're more aware of keeping it out of plain sight and easier to control it..people that are tweeking usually have no sleep, don't eat, no fluids and that's when psychosis starts.. skin picking all that. You'd be surprised how many Functional addicts you know-- and it doesn't only pertain to drugs/alcohol.. I was one. So he's definitely telling telling the truth..and I've had great jobs.. 8 years at my most current.. take care.
I was a functioning meth addict for over 3 years. I went to work everyday, I slept every night and I took care of my kids. Ive been clean and sober for over a year now and im never going back
@@bunnykos9518what makes you suspect in the first place? Anyhow, if she twitches a lot and seems overly energetic in a way and can’t stay still for a long (e.g. hands and legs moving all the time if you look carefully), she’s probably addicted to meth.
I am very appreciative from all of the heart felt comments. I thank each and everyone of you for your kind words of encouragement. Thank you so much. It gives me hope. I hope each and everyone of you beat the struggle. My faith is what gets me through. But really, straight from my heart, Thank You.❤
When John said that he doesn’t give an “f” about how anyone cares, and he doesn’t give an “f” about this and that..I call BS. I know a few friends who say the same thing and they’re all the loneliest, most miserable people I know. This interview irritated me for some reason. Not many do. Get off the drugs, John.
11:25 into the interview I hear John say regarding his rule about not getting high at work, because he doesn't want to be embarrassed if he got caught and for people to know he is/gets high. Not sure where you are referring to with your comment of John's "not caring" comments?? Your honesty, straightforward ness n non sugar coating SHOULD be profoundly noted and, well I have no problems with, commending mate John and cheers for sharing 👍
Yeah this interview disgusted me. I see nothing positive except the honesty, but it benefits us, not him. He's honest but not self aware. Sad, he seems vulnerable in a way but I'd never interact with him out of fear if I was his neighbor
@@sm-eo3wf He sounds self aware, however very unapologetic or unremorseful. That's just my opinion. I do agree completely about approaching this guy. I would not let my kids play outside EVER!
There are no functional addicts, the addict might believe no one suspects them, but its plain as day most the time.. my dad was an alcoholic who worked fulltime his whole life, but if not for my mother battling him out of bed every morning hung over on a few hours of sleep, he never wouldve held his jobs.. he got "laid off" when i was young, found out later he was fired for drinking on the job, then every other job hed be getting written up for drinking, lost a job working for his best friend for being drunk driving customers around.. now hes permanently disabled after breaking so many bones falling down drunk.. im an opioid addict and i also thought i was pretty good at hiding it, until i got clean! I could see addiction on so many people when i was clean, even people i thought looked functional before, like a friend who works at a vet ckinic, looked terribly sick when i was clean.. addicts have to try and remember how much we deceive ourselves in every way !
I respect your honesty it says a lot about you. I'm also a Virgo, and you're right about being meticulous, and I'm not finished with anything until it's done right. I was right there with you as you described finding out about your unfaithful wife and trying to accept it. Betrayal was the word I used to describe it. What you said about wanting her to feel how you felt when you found out about her affair, man, that's a hit right there. Well said. Even though you know they couldn't handle that kind of pain. I found your story and honesty refreshing, and I wish you the best of luck. Your dog sounds awesome, and too that I say I can relate. Also, I had a dog that was smarter than some people I knew. Smart people usually have smart animals.
I’m surprised his twin sons want anything to do with their Dad, he legit wanted to top his wife off for cheating and he gave no fucks about it! I’m lost for words!
I dont think he can call himself a functioning crystal meth addict, when he's living like the other addicts. He puts himself on a pedestal, but he is still homeless and addicted to drugs. Where does the functioning part come in?
Yeah i agree. I consider myself a true functional drug addict. I retired at age 27 and travel the world doing drugs, learning about new cultures, meeting new people. I do drugs all day but if you met me you would have no idea.
@@jkelan8343 so when i moved to south america i started smoking about 6 grams a day,. I met a few cool people hung out with them for a few months then told them i am on drugs all day. They had no clue and they do drugs themselves. i think it's because i don't go overboard unless i am home alone,
Jeez, what a husband he was. No hesitation in almost killing an unarmed woman with a baseball bat, but because her lover had guns he didn't go to his house to kill him. With his revelations about not giving a shit about other people I can imagine what kind of selfish, controlling bstd he was as a husband. It would be interesting to hear his ex's side of the story. Interesting that no one gives a shit about him on the streets now.
Thanks for sharing this story. i wish you all the best of luck. I found this to be very relatable. But to be honest, i sense self delusion in the whole "functioning" part of this story. If you are late EVERY day, you are not functioning. Anyway, for the most addicts this is the last straw to maintain some kind of selfworth. But you can do way better than this. You will get there, if you suffered enough. Trust me.
One day the wrong person will set him off, for the stupidest of reasons, and that person will end. That is Meth. His mind is simply reactionary, and empathy is long gone. What always amazes me about addiction, is the relationships that exist when addiction is their common thread. Imagine his sons after they see this? God help them.
Has two kids and in the end all he cares about is his dog gets into a good home. People become and stay drug addicts because they are selfish and self centered. They can never put anyone else or their feelings before theirs.
Yeah, it's hard to say if he loves the kids. He lit up briefly when he mentioned them. Sounds like he realized mom is the better parent and took his loss. If the kids rejected him he may just be avoiding a painful subject. He wants to be a powerful figure in life and it's likely his boys don't see him that way. It's a hard blow even if he caused it. Some guys like him don't know what love is til they have an animal. The dog may be his only experience of reciprocal love in his life. Sad but such chaotic bonding occurs with people so emotionally dead- as he phrased it. He knows he has been dead inside, and the dog as a simple undemanding creature may be the only love bond he can tolerate in this life.
Yeah I was worried about the guy not getting through the story. Even in that story he seems to want to be a tough guy but the vulnerability showed through. His story is all about weakness and the failure to be the tough guy he says he is. All his criminal acts seem to stem from feeling weak. It's really terrible he coped that way since his teens, not knowing anger isn't the only emotion
When he says that meth calms him down and makes him tolerable to other people, it sounds like when people with ADHD describes how amphetamines work on them.
@@DD-yr6wcThat's right, being able to focus and have a euphoric feeling is so relieving and something calmer than the chaos associated with not focusing and feeling like crap instead.
Absolutely. I am highly functioning but with severe ADHD and am prescribed stimulants very similar to meth. They help me function better and focus. Sounds like this guy could do with an ADHD test.
When I listen to these stories where the addict is telling their stories of stealing, shooting up, dodging death, etc with such pride, I think nah, they're not ready to change.
@DerrickMarkleymusic I guess when you are told to go leave and exit during something bad enough for years you'll think you're glad someone told you cuz that helped... right? It's so helpful to be shunned for a part of all humanity
that's addict brain tho. you could have 0 relationships and your body is falling apart but you made it to work so you can consider yourself "functioning"
Because it's an accomplishment, ESPECIALLY, for an addict. Nothing odd about it. The last thing an addict needs is a negative Nick/Nancy pointing out their setbacks and none of their positives
I really appreciate this interview. This is SO common where I grew up and now live in NW Houston. Over the past 30 years I’ve known and watched plenty of people who crashed and burned “in their addictions” BUT I know several people who just outgrew partying. AND I also currently know at least 6 - 8 other people (who are now technically senior citizens) who are fully functioning,church going, tax payers and voters AND all while being current meth users! A good servant, but a bad master. The kicker is that like a box of chocolates, you never know what you might get. 🤷🏻♀️
Thing with addiction and trauma - why you start & why you're still doing it 10, 20 + years later, are very different things. And there's plenty more traumatic that might happen *after* you start than you ever had before.
This was me for six years on meth, had 25 years on other shit before that. 7 years "clean" using alcohol and tobacco as a copping mechanism. Trauma is a hell of a thing. You don't know you live with it till you are told you've experienced it. As a child, it's just normal life. It can take over 50 years to discover your life wasn't "normal". You spend another decade trying to adjust to normal. Our normal isn't your normal. Parents are the cause, and the key to generational destruction. I am nearly 50, and am glad I've not knowingly created a new generation. Humans are fucked.
Definitely agree with our normal isn't your normal. It may make complete sense in our head but people be looking at us like WTF My life might be a whole lot more boring off drugs, I'll take it tho considering what I could be doing
I have. I added 3 kids to the next generation. And sometimes I wonder if it was a gift or a curse for them. I worry what they are going through and what they will have to go through in the future... You're right though the world can be a fucked up place and it's getting crazier by the day.
Thank you for sharing your story. Hope you can imagine trying to get sober and getting into recovery. That thing you feel not wanting to be exposed it's shame because you know what you're doing is not lining up with your moral values. I feel like your story can be any inspiration after you get sober!
@@sarcipious3What he has learned is how to hide from himself. I'm well over 40, a former meth user, and I know a thing or 2 about addiction. The gentleman spoke of doing meth daily so his boss wouldn't have to deal with an asshole. He's running from himself. I'd rather deal with a prick who doesn't self medicate than someone who lies to himself and isn't man enough to face his addiction and move forward. Get real.
Addicts usually have an overwhelming trauma response that is so horrible and impossible to endure that they do anything to suppress that feeling. Nobody consciously makes a choice to fuck up their lives like that. They’re mostly in excruciating mental pain.
Naw, this isn't a functional addict. This is a sociopath. It's a character study with no mention of long-term negative health effects on, say, the heart.
When I was a kid, they told us drinking, smoking and doing drugs would cause us to die young. They lied! This guy is 58, it will be a few more years before he gets his first health issue related to his meth use and I am guessing he will survive. Maybe that will be the wake up call he needs to stop using. Maybe not.
I haven’t heard anyone say, “gacked” since 2000. Aging ourselves man. Not that many old addicts, so its a blessing to be here, take the life you have. Sending love and light ❤
I started doing drugs since my teenage, got addicted to meth for over 6 years. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 3 years totally clean. This is something that really need to be use globally to help people with related health challenges.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES sure of mycologist Predroshrooms. Mushrooms literally got me off my feet and turned my whole life around. I am currently a housing manager for a recovery program. I wouldn't have been able to do that shit without psilocybin.
Thanks for sharing your story. That's rough I sympathize. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health. I will pray for you all.
Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google
I was on meth for 9 years. I was going down hard but I did rehab and my family was there for me. I got off it and it’s been 18 months sober. Life is never easy but it’s heaps better.
Love to all the hurting people out there.
Congrats my friend!
17 months here! 5/14/22 was on it over 5 years
do u still get natural dopamine rushes? Like when playing video games, watching and gambling or even when going on holidays
Congrats on 19 months!!!! Keep on keeping on!
@@tylreknutson8276congrats on 18 months now!!!
I can totally understand where this guy is coming from. I've been addicted to meth for close to ten years but I am a functional addict and get up and go to work every day and hide it from the world. I've been in treatment twice and can't seem to shake it. Over the years, it has caused some problems and I have been lucky enough to have people who cared enough about me to not let me become homeless or go hungry so I am very blessed, but I would like nothing more than to be sober again and be the person I used to be.
You got this bro I believe in you! Can’t wait for you to get clean and start living the life your meant to live
If you truly wanted it more than anything, you would quit. I know only my own struggle with it. Its not the same for everyone. But what is true is that we are all doing it to escape something or because the lawn needs to be vacuumed. Lol. Truth is it's a temp fix with problems that are gonna happen at some point, it's a matter of time. Its easier not to care, and not look past tomorrow. In your heart you will follow what you truly want. And just because someone gets high should never be a reason to judge anyone. Especially another drug user. It blows me away to hear people who use dope, and talk badly about someone who does herion. Everyone is functional BTW
You have to find Joy brother. A feeling that is only accessible by trusting God thru good and bad days. No drug or person will bring u joy like God will, it is the best feeling and the most important thing is it LASTS
I used for 25 years but I had a carpet installing trade the mass actually maybe able to really concentrate I was known for attention to detail but I'm all down and clean but I have very hard time concentrating now I miss the meth but I can never go back
@thebeattribe- you and I have nearly identical stories. I’ll pray for you, and you pray for me! Deal!? It’s possible bro!
I’m living in recovery since Dec 2022. This time last year I had just got out of intensive inpatient treatment for 63 days. It was forced pretty much bc of legal reasons.
That being said, it was the best thing I’ve ever done in my 51 years of life! I am so grateful words can’t express how grateful I truly am! I was also a functioning addict. I hid it from everyone or so I thought. Today I am 444 days sober!!
Good on you!! I am happy for you!
keep going girl
God Bless You 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I'm also a friend of Bill W.
CONGRATULATIONS!! BEING CLEAN AND SOBER IS THE BEST🥇
As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help
People need to realise that people with anxiety disorders have oversensitised nerves, it's not a simple case of manning up and getting over it.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about how mushrooms and psychedelics treats anxiety, but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, doctor Greg mushroom I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Please, how do I reach doctor Greg?
Is he on the internet?
Interesting fact: Methamphetamine is actually a prescription ADHD/anti-obesity medication in the United States called Desoxyn, dispensed orally. Oral metabolism is slower than smoking, snorting or injecting. Thanks as always for these high-quality interviews.
It's very rare that someone actually gets such a prescription.
But soooo many people self medicate with it.
Another fun fact is that, it doesn't have neurotoxic effects unless you exceed a dose of 60mg, but most people will not have the restraint to keep from going past that.
If you've ever dabbled with Adderall, also an adhd medication, the effects of high doses are extremely similar to meth. Meth is gross though. Don't do meth.
There’s a lot more versions than just Desoxyn.
Chocolate Raaaaain!
Some stay dry while others feel the pain, chocolate raaiinn
Eckhart Tolle says “addiction begins and ends with pain.”
“Ze addiction beginz and endz wiz pain”
Love eckhart
This guy is being fraudulent, believing he's functioning
Eckhart Tolle is the biggest hack to ever walk to earth
You have to ask yourself what is the drug helping you escape from?
The compassion he has for his dog and not for himself is extremely relatable especially for those of us who've been thru trauma. You are worthy and deserve better! ❤️
Wow Aaron Rodgers/ Steve-O
Almost killed two people cranked up and literally says he’d have no remorse lol
@@skaterzrule4I wonder if those two people had any remorse for what they put him through
What that he said in this interview makes you think he deserves better? He is a scumbag.
@@00MailysMaybe the heroin addicted 'wife' and mother he was with for 18 years, should've thought about that before doing the dirty with his 'best freind'
"Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes"
I retired after 20 yrs in the military, 3 combat tours. I lost a limb on my last tour and suffered a severe TBI. I am sad to say I self medicate for my ptsd and depression. I am a functional husband and father. I tried meth once and that was enough to say no way. Nothing about it was enjoyable. It tastes like shit, I couldn't catch my breath and it was an anxiety filled couple of hours and I just wanted to come down from that high. It was terrible, I don't understand why people do it and what they find enjoyable about it. I don't drink or smoke weed. The VA had me so fucked up on 13 psych meds evey night. It was a horrible 12 years until I took myself off them. Unfortunately, the opiods I was taking for my stump pain became my prison. It's the only thing I found that numbs my physical and emotional pain. Not proud of it and I truly hate that it owns me but I take it day by day. The VA has offered to remove more of my leg to see if that helps with pain. Thanks, just what I want. More of my body missing. I'm not bitching or crying here for sympathy, just sharing a story. It feels good to say it out loud to random people. IDK, I hope this man can get help, as well as others. I understand the demon that addiction can be no matter what your poison is. I'm in church every Sunday. I know it's sinful, I pray for forgiveness and strength. I know Jesus can't do it for me. I'm really sorry and I'm trying. I did a lot of evil shit in combat, especially during my first tour in AR Ramadi, Iraq in 2005. God bless everyone struggling in this life.
Wow, I know I'm just a civilian, but thanks so much for sharing that man. I love listening to those who are willing to share. It's hard for people like me to understand your perspective about what you and others have witnessed overseas. I have read books about Ramadi and I can't fathom what that must have been like. Heartwrenching to see so many folks get taken by their demons. We're all brothers here to support one another. If it means anything, you're not forgotten about and you have my support in every sense of the word. Stay strong my friend 🇺🇸
Thank you for your service. Please stop being hard on yourself. You've been through alot a huge loss and no one can ever say you didn't! May God bless you in healing and teach you self-acceptance not an easy task. No one is perfect and we all have flaws. God Bless!
VERY much LOVE and RESPECT
Thank you for your courage and unimaginable sacrifice.
I'm praying for The Lord of Peace to fill your heart, and just heal all of your hurts.
You have no idea how amazing a person you are.
Please Don't give up, without strength like yours this world is doomed.
Seriously, sending you love
When I was struggling with addiction and on the street, my dog was my reason to get up every day. No matter how bad I got, I always made sure she was fed and safe and loving her was enough to keep me going on until I eventually learned to love myself enough to stop using. Though I had a vehicle to sleep in during the periods where I had no place to stay, I still hated myself for not having a real roof over our heads, and not being the kind of owner or person I wanted to be. Now I'm 2 years and 2 months clean and in a nice place in a nice town with my dog and I'm thankful every day that I was able to leave it behind. I still have a lot of work to do and every day is as much a test as it is a blessing, but I'm happy to be here.
There is more waiting for you in life, and don't hate yourself for the mistakes you've made so much that you feel you don't deserve it
Word, truth is many of these people are more real and compassionate than the “straight” world. Lost my ODB (best dog) after the worst night of my life. Woke up SF general no wallet dog ID money nothing. Had my keys though. Found the car and over a few days found my dog
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤
@@nonow1353 I"m so happy you found them, I couldn't imagine losing my girl like that
Thats right the past is practice. No mistakes just lessons learned. Unless you continue to do them but that becomes a choice. We are here to make "mistakes" so we can learn amd grow from them.
They do they force you to do things that are good for you, even when you are screwed up and want to shut yourself away.
WILD INTERVIEW!
I have a couple co workers at work that hit the pipe at work and think we have no idea haha - they’re not too great at their jobs and they’re tucked away in the factory part. One In particular who’s been there since the very start of the company. Some times we get a lucky hand of cards to start life with. A mother who lets you occupy her basement and a friend who will look past all the drugs and let you work for them. Functional addicts are out there
Plenty of functioning addicts that have their own home and own business as-well who didn’t have a lucky hand of cards. But with meth it seems like it eventually gets you. I worked with guy for 15 years and he started smoking meth it wasn’t long till he got fired for missing work. He would stay up for days and crash hard so he would be sleeping when he was supposed to be at work.
I’ve worked with long term addicted RNs
Everyone deserves a mother and a friend like that. Someone who can see past your earthly flaws and see the angel that you really are....
...
You call it “a lucky hand”.....but coming from a former addict, I kinda see it differently. There’s a fine line between helping and enabling
Maybe if these guys didn’t have a free basement to live in, or a friend who will employ them to be a crappy worker getting high on the job, then maybe they would be forced to battle their addiction, overcome it, and have a better life
So is it really so “lucky” to have people in your life that will effectively “help” you to stay an addict??
I stopped being an addict because my family and friends wouldn’t enable my bullshit
He's not fooling anyone, he straight up looks and sounds like the meth junkie he is. And the fact he puts meth before his family speaks volumes...p.o.s.!
I was a meth smoker for 10 years it fried my brain and had major mental issues but i'm slowly healing through it all.
Are you serious
yup.@@joookio2273
Your mom's serious.@@joookio2273
Lol
What type of mental issues
He has a bigger issue than drugs right now... its accountability. If he starts holding himself accountable, i can almost gaurauntee his life will turn around.
guarantee
and.... he says - I went in there and I knew I wasn't going to pay that bill
Your mom will turn her life around.
It's like this is an adolescent stage is now 18 emotionally. I'm not knocking him at all I'm saying kudos
Easier said
He looks shockingly healthy despite nearly a lifetime of abusing his body and being in that lifestyle. I think stable housing is really what separates him from the other addicts
Just like with anything else, simple self love and care is all that is required to have zero physical appearance of being a user. If you eat well, stay hydrated, take vitamins, and the most important is sleep, there are no signs of someone being a user. You would probably be surprised if you really had an idea of just how many are out there among the neurotypicals. The day walker club is quite expansive and has one hell of a support network.
The media of course publishes all of these photos of these poor stick figure folks with a mouth full of rotten teeth to discourage people from using, which is fine of course... It's just not an accurate representation of the vast majority.
We exist in all walks of life, across all industries and at all levels of employment. We mean no harm and you'd not ever suspect those of us that more or less self medicate, with exactly what works for us but no medical professional in this country would prescribe.
It shares a similar stigma as marijuana used to, for the same reason. Both of those substances are easily produced by anyone with a decent head on their shoulders. That is why most drugs are illegal. Big pharma would lose a TON of revenue.
I don't think anyone can honestly say that big pharma and big business in general doesn't own our government. The current state of affairs is a clear indication of that. The middle class individual in this country gets squeezed harder and harder every year, while conversely, the big corporations are experiencing their largest windfalls since the Robber Baron Era.
The point of that meandering paragraph is that policy is written to favor business and keep the average citizen down. People like this good man, and maybe myself more accurately represent the average daily user. Sure, we can chat it up quite a bit, but besides that we're just people trying to get by in a world where (speaking for myself) people are more and more ignorant and disrespectful, anti intellectualism is almost the majority and our government is as shady as a willow tree.
My curse is a high IQ, and I suspect that this gentleman suffers the same fate. I think I am through rambling for now. Hopefully this gives a little more insight into the reality vs. the propaganda of the substance.
Most amphetamine abusers, even pretty heavy speed freaks come off as normal to the people around them unless things have gotten really out of hand. The "high" of stimulants at a sustainable dosage is far more mental than physical, the clarity of thought, improved memory, better coordination and motor skills, the confidence and empathy ect. The manic, running around in circles thing only comes from, if you have a low tolerance then jump right at a beefy dose or if your just drowning yourself in the stuff.
If your not doing insane dosages most amphetamines, even meth to a measured degree, do not really cause any harm to the body as long as you eat enough and get your 6-8 hours of sleep
Amphetamine users are generally pretty normal. If you're in America, stimulant users actually play into the local culture in a lot of jobs. Some amphetamine users who are psychologically dependent might be irritable or depressed or just generally a little mean but that's something you can control if you try. It's your fault if you let it slip and you have to be responsible.
@@duoquad2175 Yeah the severe tweaker stereotype is incredibly far from reality for the majority, so far from the norm people who dont know assume thats how everyone is because they are legitimately unaware of the majority
I agree. Having a place to sleep and shower is detrimental to your well being.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporesss
“Hurt people hurt people” is the phrase that comes to mind for this chap
When I used to do meth and hold a job I was not really functional. The drug doesn't allow for that. Some days you have to call in sick because you didn't sleep at all and you feel weird or unwell. I still ate or slept between my meth days so in that respect it was functional.
While I think almost everyone can have a bit of a duality in them, listening to John's story really made me see a Jekyll & Hyde (I think he said as much about himself). I see a lot of good but I think he is also super self aware of the bad - agree that while masking this in drugs for as long as he has, he is in amazing shape from the outside. The human body is truly amazing in what some can tolerate over a lifetime.
well keep in mind his teeth are totally fake and if he didnt have those medicaid grants for dentures, he would look alot different
This guy is so full of contradictions. Not a thief, but a thief. Employable, but not employable. Unemotional, but full of anger. His antisocial, sociopathic demeanor is so classic in the habitual meth user. I really feel sorry for him and hope that he tries to get sober so he can work on the things so does not have to use to drugs to make him tolerable to be around. I see this and know this from experience.
EXACTLY, and what's even more amazing is 90 percent of the commenters here think he's mr wonderful that just needs to be loved and he'll change.
when he said he doesn't remember if something happened to him with the sexual predator it made me think he may have, D.I.D disorder. where he has personalities take over him. I think many people with that dissociation are addicts and drinkers thinking drinking is their memory loss or drugs, but it could be DiD
I've been clean from meth for 2 years & 3 months. I now work with teens who have suffered all forms of abuse whether done by someone or self-inflicted. Very happy, functional, & stable these days. I pray others can not only come out of the addiction but to also flourish when they do. 🙏
On the other side of a meth addict, its not easy living with and loving them. When they say meth destroys everything its true. I watched it destroy my marriage and my husband to the point of leaving him. I here this man completely. O watched my husband go from drinking, to Coke, to crack, to meth. We've been apart for 23 years and hes still drinking every day and still using meth. I see what its doing to him and he will die doing both. 😢
❤❤❤❤ I hope your husband finds healing.
I know how it feels to be in your situation and I hope you find peace too
@@Kerri_mc thank you, I pray for him and I still love him but can never live together again. I hope the same for you and yours.
I can relate when you speak of being cheated by your wife! I was also cheated and my biggest regret was allowing the pain and my actions from it, to wreck my life and everything I had worked for up until that point! I had a very successful business, nice home, great friends all the toys I wanted and I completely destroyed all of that, because I couldn't handle the pain! What a waste and I have never financially recovered! Forgive and move on.........
Hey, I can relate brother. The stories we could share. What doesn't kill is makes us stronger, right? Don't you want to punch whoever said that first in the mouth?? But, seriously, wisdom is gained from seeing and experiencing bad shit. As long as we can forge ahead. Sometimes even getting out of bed can be a daunting task. We all have a house we need to heat. That's a good reason to plow through this life and show who's boss!!! Plus kids, family, friends, etc. As long as we know there are people that love us it'll be ok.
Sorry you boys went through that.
So sorry to hear that. Cheaters arent worth crying or being sad over. I hope, if you want a relationship, you find a deserving woman.
The best thing we all can do is love ourselves before getting involved with another person so that we rely on their love to make us feel loved. Loving yourself looks a lot different than when someone else does the loving and it strengthens your ability to find someone who also loves themself so that there is a mutual respect, not dependent on the other. I hope our society starts to teach this to children and heals, though it will take time.
It’s easier said than done!!
Men put all their eggs in one basket.
Women ALWAYS have options and they’re always looking to monkey Branch if the opportunity arises.
Men are the romantics. The true lovers.
Women are Hypergamous and opportunistic.
Women don’t care about a man’s struggles, they wait at the finish line and choose the winners.
Facts.
You can get angry about it, or you can accept the rules of engagement and proceed accordingly. Play to win IE always have friends and a social life outside of your intimate relationship. If she leaves, you aren’t completely alone, abandoned, and suicidal. And always be the best you that you can be. Finally, F her properly: do it hard, make her feel your strength, and always keep it exciting and avoid it becoming mundane.
Best of luck men.
It amazes me how proud he is of his ability to pull something over on others - I suspect that isn't as true as he thinks, Wish him the best
Gym.
Seriously, he's like a professional victim and has zero accountability for his actions.
You people kill me especially the ones that have never done a drug of anykind you have no clue what you are talking about so stick to something you know about
Spot on. The people in his life know the deal. He may go to work, but that doesn't make a real life.
Yes. He talks a big game 💪🏽💀 mentioning gaining weight muscle and 180 pounds. I think the drugs make you delusional not many men are afraid of 180 pound person just saying🤔
I have been a "functioning" meth addict for almost 20 years. I am a daily user. I own my home & car. I never lost custody of my kids (who had no idea I did meth until they were adults). I have never stolen from anyone or sold/pawned anything for meth (including myself). I have all my teeth. I've never been arrested (well once, but that was before meth). Now, I say "functioning" but really I can't function without it. My daughter & grandbabies live in Hawaii & wanted me to come see them. I can't because I don't have a plug in Hawaii. I have to make sure I have it at all times, or I literally can not get out of bed. I can't travel anywhere unless I am driving because I'm too worried about taking it on a plane. I would love to quit, but I have responsibilities that I wouldn't be able to take care of without it. It fucking sucks!
I hide it in a tampon, or multiple tampons depending on the length of the trip
Please I'm the same girl .and my connect don't want to cell 2 me because I don't sell my ass .I'll be out soon help I'm in California where you at .?
I feel that too much, I live a completely functional life on meth, but without it I cannot function, and that part does bother me....the trapped, and without choice feeling sucks
I'm the same! I've always been very independent. I've always had a jod, and never as a prostitute or stripper. I can't get out of bed without it either. I have been sober a couple of times. It's so hard to get motivated without. Next to impossible. It's good to know I'm not the only one I guess.
Same
he talks about his personality with an authority of self awareness as though he knows exactly who he is. yet he hasn't been sober since he was 15, four decades ago. i dont think he ever got to meet himself. it is terribly sad, being so in denial of running away from yourself your entire life. we all do and we all kid ourselves to a certain extent, but it is just so obvious with addicts that when you run away from your pain you ultimately run away from yourself until there is just a void left.
Damn that’s crazy I never thought about it that way
If you pay attention you’ll see he’s still that 15 year old. Watch his mannerisms, body language, speech, etc.
Even if he did know who he was when he was 15 afte 15 years on tha shit and you get sober you know you are and you don't get joy or pleasure outta the same thing you did. Your dopemineis so blown out you have to learn everything about yourself again while you teach yourself what it is that you or the the dope.
He doesn't want anyone to know he's an addict but he's telling his story on a channel of 5million subscribers!! Great interview guy!!
🤣😅😂👍
I think he’s coming to terms of what he really is and this is away to let those who know him know. There’ll be a lot of people out there saying, o.k. That makes sense now why he acted like that. I wish him well. I hope this reaches you and those you love in great health and happiness❤️🙏
There is a poem from a Hungarian poet, here is the English translation of it, the first two rows sprung into my mind when I read your comment:
"Foreword by Frigyes Karinthy
I must not tell to anyone,
So, tell it I will to everyone,
I tried to whisper - mouth to ear the reach -
To all of you, but one to one with each.
That secret, though the same, when said and done,
Is only meant to pass from one to one.
That secret for which I - so once conspired -,
Came into the world all bloodied and mired,
The word, that secret, that tiny miracle,
That I should search and find that other one
And whisper in her ear: do pass it on.
I must not tell to anyone,
So, tell it I will to everyone.
‘Tis half-way out, I almost said my bit,
It used to stick before I blurted it.
One just blushed, was hot from all of this,
She whispered, too, but it had turned to kiss.
The other hardened to ice, she froze,
Went to her grave, she left me, I suppose.
I must not tell to anyone,
So, tell it I will to everyone.
The third, she gave me a sudden look,
She laughed, I laughed, that's all it took.
As a child, I wrote on a doing list:
Talk to god if he does exist.
Not in a burning bush, nor wine, nor bread,
Had he appeared for me, that must be said.
In vain I waited, with envious persistence,
was judged unworthy to trust in his existence.
I must not tell to anyone,
So, tell it I will to everyone.
That teasing and torture hurt, to give them voice:
To be bad could well have been a better choice.
For sin and goodness, are merely dreams it seems
And reality is greater than the dreams,
That here I am, perhaps for days to come,
As witness to the shining of the sun.
I am no god, no world, I dare assume,
No northern light, nor aloe vera bloom.
Not better or worse than others in my tribe,
Yet I'm the most: a human who's alive.
Relation, acquaintance am I to all
Descendant, successor am I to all
I must not tell to anyone,
So, tell it I will to everyone.
Tell I will, or I would tell,
But lame my hands and I stutter as well.
I 'd tell where the road leads, I know the bends,
Do try to help me, reach out your hands.
Lift me to speak, to see, to live - you must…
I cannot be speaking down here in the dust.
Discarded the rattle, bells I have none,
My voice in the dust is one to shun.
Foot on my chest, trodden down I lie,
Do come and lift me, do lift me high.
From many on offer, a pulpit I'll hire,
Let me go up it to what I aspire.
I don't yet know it, I don't know what I'll say,
But think 'tis glad tidings I'll bring today.
Glad tidings, good news, rainbows and secrets
For you, whom I loved,
Whilst wide-eyed, standing, for wonders I waited.
Which I cannot tell to anyone,
Which I now will tell to everyone.
Translated by Kery, Leslie A."
Be nice. He's a fuckin drug addict lol
His boss knows, so it's not going to affect his job. 🤷🏼♀️
Hummmmm. No empathy? Dealing, using, stealing, malevolent narcissist.
They treat dogs better than humans.
Out of touch with reality.
Remorse, forgiveness, kindness, humility would be refreshing. 😮
We were recently robbed by a meth addict. If this asshole is stupid enough to do meth then fuck him!!
Does everybody remember the three part interview with Matthew a functioning drug addict. In the second interview, Matthew came back and said that he lied about being functioning. That he could only maintain the appearance of functioning and really drugs were still at the route of most of his problems.
No I remember the four part one
Yes!!! I remember that!!!!
@@MatthewAndrewDrake
Matthew, I will check out part 4. I hope you are well!
I'm currently trying to help my ex-partner get clean of substance abuse behavior, 30 years smoking pot, 15 years doing meth (which he hid from me the whole time), drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes. We had been together for 27 years since the age of 16. He had always been a highly functional addict and it is only now in hindsight and plenty of research that I understand exactly what the meth use done to his beautiful personality. He is currently 7 months clean and is only smoking cigarettes as a coping mechanism. It is early days, but I live in hope that he can be one of the 5% that can remain a recovering addict. Meth is a hideous drug, I feel for any family member that is dealing with an addict.
Psilocybin mushroom therapy. Bare minimum MDMA or LSD, but psilocybin is the best bet in helping to rewire the mind and heal from addictive behaviours.
Girl looked at me in the eye and knew. I litterly just picked up.
This guy is literally me. His entire story is my life.(minus the gangs and i raised a daughter as a single dad and I currently have HUD housing ) . Incredible how much his personality is my reflection. Jon. bro. keep on keeping on. love it man. Much respect.
You still on the dope too?
As I lay in my hospital bed again. I ran across this video. Funny because I had only hours ago uddered the same words to my different doctors. I am a highly functional meth addict. I do small amounts, just enough to get what needs to be done. Up until two years ago I had eleven years clean. I actually didn't start until I was thirty eight, did a 10 year run. At 14 months clean I shot myself in the head. I had no residual results. And again I pulled off 11 years clean. I'm a disabled Veteran who can out multi task any 20 something. I'm currently 61. I'm currently in a program with 4 days. Easy to do form a hospital bed. I do have limited but stable income, shelter, and food. Even a vehicle, although I am unable to drive at the present. My friend/caretaker drives for me. I have Charcot Joint Disease in my right foot 🦶. But more serious than that is my congestive heart failure and AFib. I have to stop because of that. If it wasn't for those conditions I would continue to use. I took have my dog who I'd kill for and my 3 bearded dragons. More power to you. BTW at 61 I just graduated HVAC school with honors while being high every day. Go figure.
26:00
I know someone like this. They think they are functional because they can use drugs AND go to work (most days, 90% of the time). Everything in their life is dysfunctional, their relationships, kids, house, yard, finances, and friends. Its all perception. They think it is awesome, everyone else sees the same life as a mess.
It's because they are not truly functional drug addicts you are able to see their life in ruin. A true functional addict like myself blends in with everyone else and you would never in a million years suspect that i am high all the time. There are a lot more functional addicts than you think, trust me. But you would never in a million years think that. It's like people who have a few drinks a day, but instead of drinking which gets me bloatred and tired, i prefer to do something that will make me feel 1000x better with less harmful effects on my body.
Not everyone, friend.
Deep
@@mikemaldanado6015 You try to tell people this but they never believe it, because the only addicts they know of are the ones that stick out as problematic. As someone who dealt for a long long time, I can confirm that most of my clients were normal folk that you'd never in a million years suspect. Normal people living normal lives, had careers, families, kids, etc.. From nurses, doctors and lawyers all the way to fast food and construction workers, it was rare I had a client that I considered to be stereotypical of what most people think of. Some had dysfunction in their families or relationships, but in almost every case, the source of that dysfunction wasn't them, they were just dealing with it.
Now, a half ounce every two weeks.. yikes. I have a hard time believing that he's functional on THAT much, but hey, everyone is different. That's just.... a lot..
@@mikemaldanado6015yes i'm the same way, but I have alcohol in my repertoire along with other things
What he would do for whatever he cared about is impressive. I think we all just need to feel loved and that’s the base from which we all grow.
After using crystal all day every day for about a month maybe 2, it stops effecting you like it did. Your body and brain get used to it and you build up a tolerance. Your hunger comes back like normal and it doesn't keep you awake like it did. It eventually gets to where it doesn't have an effect on you at all. This is how people get to the point to eat, sleep and function for the most part. The ONLY way to get the original effect from using it is to take a break, at least a week of using none at all. Your brain has to build your dopamine levels back up. This is why it slowly stops getting you high as time goes on if your using constantly every day like I did before I got sober. You deplete your self of dopamine. I didn't learn this until I started selling it therefore I had enough that I was high every minute of every day til I wasn't able to get high because I depleted myself of the chemicals that our brain releases when we use. So many people can't stop using even when they get to this point. They will be mad and frustrated every day because they aren't getting high off the dope anymore but they are so weak minded they will put thereself thru that instead of stopping and forcing them selves not to use for just a week. I did it all the time. I never WANTED to either but I made myself because I knew the reward from stopping for at least 4 or 5 days was gonna what I wanted most in the world at that time. Anyway, I been sober 4 years. This is all past experience
Man I used to read comments of people being clean while I was on meth and I’d be kinda mad at them but now I’m 3 years sober and man I love seeing other peoples stories
@@dcapjunkcongrats! I got off of meth when I found out I was pregnant with my son 7 years ago. There’ll be a rare day where I miss it but then I remember how badly my life was falling apart when I was on it
All drugs, including meth, affect every individual differently.This guy is very unusual in that he could use prodigiously and still just about get by. Most people simply can't do that. That's why most meth addicts end up in jail, insane or dead.
Yeah that was how it was for me when I just smoked it which out of the ways to do meth in my opinion smoking is on the very bottom and pointless
Holy shit that makes a lot of sense, thankfully i didnt continuing using after peaking tolerance because i knew it wouldn't work anymore, it literally stops feeling good. I can't believe people just keep going though lmfaooo do you really think it's weakmindedness though?!??
I'm blushing right now but i will say, after meth stopped feeling good i only kept using it in smaller doses than the smallest doses of Adderall (it's much cheaper this way in México) only once or twice a week, if at all. So yeah, $4 (about 70 pesos) worth of crystal ends up lasting me AT LEAST 2 months lol
if i have food in my stomach id rather just drink coffee but meth is still useful every now and then
You're not a functioning addict if you're homeless
You'd be surprised to know how many people are okay with that.
@@MrJackOfAllTraits You'd be surprised how many people are okay shitting and vomiting all over themselves once theyre high.
You'd be surprised how many people that don't use drugs, never have and are homeless. Some even have jobs but are still homeless. And of those, some still are homeless by choice.
What about if your not on drugs and homeless, does that mean your not a functioning person?
Every time I hear “functioning” I think “for now”
Going through a horrible separation since August 10th from a meth addict that shoots it in his pelvic region to hide it. I still love him. Pregnant with his boy. He just totaled our SUV. Now he wants to take the broke ass old car that's mine. Oh & he's cross dressing....came out on Facebook the other day...as a confused bisexual crossdresser. He just got fired from an amazing job and I'm losing the house as we speak. Haven't seen him since August 10th or heard a word...he beat me up bad & whiped our joint account of every penny. Over $4,700. Just got out taxes back. Stole all kinds of stuff. Stalking & harassing me I had to get a protective order. It's worse now...
My dad was a functioning meth addict from age 16 til 58 then he lost all body mobility and was placed in a home. Meth ruins families
Why did he lose all mobility ?
Were your folks together/Did they stay together? Did you have sibling/s?
I’m sorry to hear about your dad.
@@Rappernewstv I too would like this answered. Happens to plenty non stimulant users/abusers.
Honestly, how one functions normally is all in the eyes of the beholder. Especially when one is an addict
They function until they don't.
Yeah I was thinking the same. "Im a functioning addict" Your face says otherwise he definitely looks and feels like a meth addict in my eyes. It's sad
Right. He’s homeless.
@@cowmath77I agree. Thanks for helping to educate the "normies"
@@cowmath77 I did misread it, my fault. I didn't mean any disrespect of any kind 😊
"Functioning" is very much a subjective term. Especially for addicts. My father would've said he was a functioning alcoholic. And sure he could hold a job and earn an income, for awhile... Until his control slipped and he drank too late into the night and showed up at work the next day, still drunk. Or when he was so exhausted, hungover and completely wrecked that he fell down the stairs at work and cracked his head open and was fired. He could pay his rent for awhile until he missed too much work or was fired again and then he'd lose his housing. His family gave him chance after chance but he'd always screw that up too. Ultimately, he drank himself to death a few years ago. Literally drank too much, passed out and then asphyxiated on his own vomit. Still claiming he was "functioning".
Very true! Most addicts think they’re functional. I heavily abused alcohol for a few years and didn’t see it as problematic until I cut way back. Human beings are incredibly poor judges of our own character.
There is no such thing as a functioning addict which I could fall into that category but take away the drugs or alcohol and see how functioning they are
Yeah, it's part of our (alcoholics) denial. You might function for a while but it's temporary. Not to mention that what we pass off as "functioning" is a low bar. Sure, I could drink and have friends and a job, but I didn't have extra money, hobbies, or peace of mind. Truly functional people grow. Addiction stunts growth and wastes potential. All the best to everyone - recovery is possible.
It's also disheartening to see you all trash addicts so hard. You think those people want to exist like that? Your father lived a tortured life.
@@ferguson8143I am a functional addict since 30 years. I am in same company since 20 years, sure there was some embarrassing situations at work from time to time. But up to today, it’s working out, sure it’s a dangerous game, not sure what happens when my employer might know. But per law, they are not allowed to kick me out. It’s a disease, and no reason for firing.
There is something to be said about people with nothing to lose - they can be incredibly honest. These interviews are so compelling because of this fact. It is so refreshing to hear someone speak openly about the the mistakes they've made and the problems they face. Especially as the world becomes more and more fake. Some would call him a socio/psychopath but I am more cautious of the people who hide their true natures and present a mask of perfection to the world while they harbor deep, unexpressed anger and resentment, ie; Ted Bundy. And there are millions of Ted Bundy's all around us who never kill but instead covertly manipulate others. I would much rather deal with a man who tells you who he is to your face.
These are great interviews, in the sense, or in a glimpse of interviewing people that have different life styles. Thank you for uploading ❤
He talks about the dog like he really love him. Never really talks that way about his kids. Hopefully someone raised them better then what he would have done for them. I hope the kids have a good life.
The dog represents his feelings for his kids.. he probably just doesn’t realize it or wants to acknowledge it
Lots of people think they are "functional" drug addicts. However in my experience, that is their opinion solely. I own an automotive repair shop. Mechanics are a demographic where drug use is common. I can tell when they are using and when they are not. They might do the job and do it quickly, but the state of their tools (unorganized mess), cleanliness of the shop, the various jobs in various stages of repair at the same time (taking apart seems to be easy, putting back together not so much), the rate at which customers return for problems after repairs, etc. all of that tells me the story about them. It's clear as day to me. To them, they think they are doing great.
you are right --- the need to believe we are functional is gas liting the self--- addiction is a disease of denial
Exact same with any construction field. Two words that don't go together or what I call enabling false.
@@CharlesWinsettthat can be caused by many reasons. You probably saw a guy who had a stroke.
Wrong, no stroke. I've been in the field for far to long to mistake the two.
Only a meth addict will defend another meth addict
I've considered doing something like this, it's hard to get clean, especially when you've been hiding your life for so long. This is a respectable way for others to find out with your story before just shutting you out of their life and losing your job for being an addict. Sure, it will result in some of that but it also provides support and future opportunities you wouldn't have on your own. Especially if you're spiraling bad. Better to make this your rock bottom than digging the hole deeper.
It is a tough decision but one you should make. Best of luck to you.
Good luck. I’ve been there ❤
😊😊
If you Do consider it, at least you won't risk rolling the dice on your life, especially most drugs laced with fent. It's a Shane this is so prevalent in the states.
Do you think thats what he's doing? i dont .
When he said he had kids a couple year after he got married at 19 and has obviously been a druggy this whole time, I felt so sorry for them.
This dude never once put any responsibility on himself and his marriage lol. He was drinking and doing drugs and probably being a horrible husband. Doesn’t make it ok to cheat but damn man can you blame her.
Yeah. He seems like just another narcissistic asshole.
this man’s life would be totally different with therapy in regards to the trauma he doesn’t remember. your body always remembers. read “the body keeps the score.” and - if he would get diagnosed because he almost certainly has ADHD; coming from someone with ADHD themselves. therapy and being on the right meds could save him. ❤
ADHD is a made up disease used by big pharma to hook kids on prescription amphetamines. It’s crazy people think it’s real, of course you’ll be able to focus better on medical grade meth
I read this book. Many things start to make sense
Great book ! Love Gabor Mate .. I know a few functional addicts & they are very honest people.. great interview.. he sounds like he has ADHD..I got my diagnosis within 6 months….
It's not Gabor Mate but weirdly I thought so too, for ages! @@bizzylizzy5075
I dont think its difficult to get a diagnosis if you actually have adhd, even in adulthood. I think its only hard if you have a history of drug or alcohol use/abuse. Docs will likely diagnose you but you're definitely not getting any meds.
I did get a chuckle when he said he wasn't going to pay that dental bill. So nonchalantly.
Hilarious 😂 snaggletooth
They can't take his teeth back lol
No one should pay medical bills in the US. The debt falls off in 7 years anyway. Fuck the rich, I’m glad he didn’t pay it 😂
@@ashleighthompson2855 yeah but a dentist doesn't make them they pay a smaller company to make the mock ups and the molds and the veneers , if the dentist doesn't get paid, the smaller company doesn't get paid, you may think you're sticking it to the man, but as the say Sh*t rolls downhill and it never effects the person you're trying to target.
I literally died laughing on that 😂😂😂
This guy cares about his dog like he SHOULD care about his kids.
kids are 30
But in most of situations like this, kids don’t want to know/see their parents.
Dogs love unconditionally
As a former addict. It’s hard to care about anything when you’re gettin high. Meth makes you very selfish.
His adult kids aren’t living on the street, so he doesn’t as have much to worry about with them.
The cameraman paid him a half ounce of meth to share his story. Well done cameraman.
He’s ADHD undiagnosed. I’m a doctor and when he said the meth calms him down. Anyone who takes a stimulant drug like meth or Ritalin and it calms them, the dopamine levels in the brain are low and these meds increase dopamine. He’s more violent and harsh when unmedicated. That’s a symptom
Source: Trust me bro
Thanks for this doc my husband says the same...
I'm a doctor 💊🏥 too
No he just has built up a tolerance and physical addiction. If he didn’t have “ADHD” before though he does now for certain.
Well good thing he’s on meth
The way he tears up right at the very end talking about how he knows his dogs life sucks is a perfect example of the insanity of addiction
Sounds like he takes care of him
@@steelearmstrong9616he’s not abusing his dog he wishes he could give more do more than mere basics
@@steelearmstrong9616thank you for sharing the thoughts that have been put it your head.
There is physical addiction. After that it's a behavioral and environmental issue. That addiction is a disease nonsense keeps rehabs in operation despite a 9% success rate
What is so insane about it ? You are weird.
Congratulations on 5million subs. Been watching that number grow since I hopped on around 1.2mil, good job Mark.
I'm here for it! Thank you Mark for all you do to bring awareness & education! 🙌🏼
Thank you 💜
I was prescribed Ritalin at 5 years old for ADD. Been on every medication for ADD under the sun except Desoxyn. I HATED Ritalin and Dexedrine and Vyvanse but Adderall gave me more energy and focus and sexual satisfaction than anything. Adderall was definitely a huge part of my life throughout high school into early adulthood until I’m quit everything cold turkey. I would crush down the 20XR capsule granular salts and snort it 3 times a day. Not all amphetamines have the same effects but I can honestly say Adderall is the closest to Methamphetamine without all the dirty impurities. I’ve been 15 years clean from amphetamines but I still think about it to this day.
“That’s fine with me I’m not going to pay that bill” ha this F’n guy.
His kids are so lucky to have such a loving father. He didnt care about them being orphans and he barely cares about them. He deserves every bad thing that happens to him. What a tough guy.
I wouldn’t f u xk with him
Yeah but orphans? Get it right because the criticism is deserved as you said...
Americans have perfected the art of being both sanctimonious and deliberately indifferent to the plight of others. As a society do we really care about the well being of others?
@@donacatanguma I don't know, that's something I look at on a more individual basis.
@@donacatangumaOnly as much as the individual cares.
Sometimes I realize how different people lives would turn out if just they were loved from childhood. Thank goodness for his dog ,it will love him unconditionally as he deserves no judgement.
Yeah, until he takes a bat to his dog like he wanted to do to his wife 🙄
Oh dear gawd, I bet you say that about all the violent inmates they release from prison as soon as they get in, poor babies, I can change you by loving you. You'r the kind of person that gets in abusive relationships....sad
You are so right. I wish everyone could see that instead of judging.
John is in amazing shape for someone who's been hitting it so hard for so long. Goes to show how important getting up every morning with a purpose is when it comes to staying well preserved.
Having a job with a decent wage coming in every week and a dependable drug supply makes a difference.
Take away any one of those things, and everything will be completely different.
With the purpose of smoking meth. Lol kidding. Crazy he's able to work and not get caught this long
Its crazy he's able to maintain this... usually you start doing the drugs... after awhile the drugs start doing you. Being a meth user and not letting it take over is rare! Being able to get adequate rest and function at work takes a certain type of person.
He doesn’t have a job. He’s on food stamps and looking for public funded housing.
Functional addict just like there are Functional alcoholics.. sleep,.. even as little as he may get, hydration and still having that will to stay motivated helps..everyone isn't the same.. its easier to hide when you're Functional because you're more aware of keeping it out of plain sight and easier to control it..people that are tweeking usually have no sleep, don't eat, no fluids and that's when psychosis starts.. skin picking all that. You'd be surprised how many Functional addicts you know-- and it doesn't only pertain to drugs/alcohol.. I was one. So he's definitely telling telling the truth..and I've had great jobs.. 8 years at my most current.. take care.
I was a functioning meth addict for over 3 years. I went to work everyday, I slept every night and I took care of my kids. Ive been clean and sober for over a year now and im never going back
I believe my niece is a functioning meth addict. She denies everything. How can I tell if she's using meth!!!?????
@@bunnykos9518what makes you suspect in the first place?
Anyhow, if she twitches a lot and seems overly energetic in a way and can’t stay still for a long (e.g. hands and legs moving all the time if you look carefully), she’s probably addicted to meth.
❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉😊
I am very appreciative from all of the heart felt comments. I thank each and everyone of you for your kind words of encouragement. Thank you so much. It gives me hope. I hope each and everyone of you beat the struggle. My faith is what gets me through. But really, straight from my heart, Thank You.❤
When John said that he doesn’t give an “f” about how anyone cares, and he doesn’t give an “f” about this and that..I call BS. I know a few friends who say the same thing and they’re all the loneliest, most miserable people I know. This interview irritated me for some reason. Not many do. Get off the drugs, John.
11:25 into the interview I hear John say regarding his rule about not getting high at work, because he doesn't want to be embarrassed if he got caught and for people to know he is/gets high.
Not sure where you are referring to with your comment of John's "not caring" comments??
Your honesty, straightforward ness n non sugar coating SHOULD be profoundly noted and, well I have no problems with, commending mate John and cheers for sharing 👍
he said he doesn’t give a fuck bc he did meth like an hour prior to this lol
Yeah this interview disgusted me. I see nothing positive except the honesty, but it benefits us, not him. He's honest but not self aware. Sad, he seems vulnerable in a way but I'd never interact with him out of fear if I was his neighbor
@@sm-eo3wf He sounds self aware, however very unapologetic or unremorseful. That's just my opinion. I do agree completely about approaching this guy. I would not let my kids play outside EVER!
If dogs could talk, I’d like to see Mark do an interview of his dog. We could find out what a dog thinks about his human running buddy and skid row.
There are no functional addicts, the addict might believe no one suspects them, but its plain as day most the time.. my dad was an alcoholic who worked fulltime his whole life, but if not for my mother battling him out of bed every morning hung over on a few hours of sleep, he never wouldve held his jobs.. he got "laid off" when i was young, found out later he was fired for drinking on the job, then every other job hed be getting written up for drinking, lost a job working for his best friend for being drunk driving customers around.. now hes permanently disabled after breaking so many bones falling down drunk.. im an opioid addict and i also thought i was pretty good at hiding it, until i got clean! I could see addiction on so many people when i was clean, even people i thought looked functional before, like a friend who works at a vet ckinic, looked terribly sick when i was clean.. addicts have to try and remember how much we deceive ourselves in every way !
I actually am functional
@@PK-le2ok well you must not be suffering withdrawls yet, I can assure you itll take priority over anything and everything else
so true
Hiding it from everybody isn't required to be a functional addict
I respect your honesty it says a lot about you. I'm also a Virgo, and you're right about being meticulous, and I'm not finished with anything until it's done right. I was right there with you as you described finding out about your unfaithful wife and trying to accept it. Betrayal was the word I used to describe it. What you said about wanting her to feel how you felt when you found out about her affair, man, that's a hit right there. Well said. Even though you know they couldn't handle that kind of pain. I found your story and honesty refreshing, and I wish you the best of luck. Your dog sounds awesome, and too that I say I can relate. Also, I had a dog that was smarter than some people I knew. Smart people usually have smart animals.
IMO - This man is very scary to me. Especially when he talked about wanting to murder his wife.
Sometimes i think i watch these videos to put me off drugs forever
“He’s a good dog”
And you can see it break his heart.
He is Heartless & Soulless, b'cuz that's What Addicts ARE, the lil' minions of ol' Split Foot Hairy Legs, is WHAT They ARE‼️ Sorry=NOT SORRY😂
I’m surprised his twin sons want anything to do with their Dad, he legit wanted to top his wife off for cheating and he gave no fucks about it! I’m lost for words!
Divorce beats murder every time...
This is one of the best interviews I’ve seen on this channel, just a true man telling his life story.
Denial can be your worst enemy.
I dont think he can call himself a functioning crystal meth addict, when he's living like the other addicts. He puts himself on a pedestal, but he is still homeless and addicted to drugs. Where does the functioning part come in?
Yeah i agree. I consider myself a true functional drug addict. I retired at age 27 and travel the world doing drugs, learning about new cultures, meeting new people. I do drugs all day but if you met me you would have no idea.
Well he used to be, but homeless living in a tent isn't functional, not at all.
@@mikemaldanado6015 I would have no idea? Haha sure. Believe me man most people probably have a good idea.
@@jkelan8343 so when i moved to south america i started smoking about 6 grams a day,. I met a few cool people hung out with them for a few months then told them i am on drugs all day. They had no clue and they do drugs themselves. i think it's because i don't go overboard unless i am home alone,
he functionig on 2% Life battery
Jeez, what a husband he was. No hesitation in almost killing an unarmed woman with a baseball bat, but because her lover had guns he didn't go to his house to kill him. With his revelations about not giving a shit about other people I can imagine what kind of selfish, controlling bstd he was as a husband. It would be interesting to hear his ex's side of the story. Interesting that no one gives a shit about him on the streets now.
I know that was scary how it had all planned it out
Exactly
Lol you guys are pathetic
Yeah he's a big time narcissist. The pointing out the weaknesses in people and having nonempathy part is very revealing
I wanted to comment but your statements were already exact.
Thanks for sharing this story. i wish you all the best of luck.
I found this to be very relatable. But to be honest, i sense self delusion in the whole "functioning" part of this story. If you are late EVERY day, you are not functioning. Anyway, for the most addicts this is the last straw to maintain some kind of selfworth. But you can do way better than this. You will get there, if you suffered enough. Trust me.
If you're lucky to suffer enough. Namean.
Facts!
Better late than never.... and He makes up for it.
@pop1626 I have to believe if you're a salt of the earth human being you always have a chance. People will see the good in you.
Including getting pegged ? 😂💀
Accolades to this man for sharing his experiences so candidly. So much of it a mirror of my own.
It is very kind to let these people share they’re stories. Hopefully some healing begins as they express themselves 🙏🌺
An absolutely true comment. Sometimes we all get a little lost and someone to listen can be so therapeutic ❤.
One day the wrong person will set him off, for the stupidest of reasons, and that person will end. That is Meth. His mind is simply reactionary, and empathy is long gone. What always amazes me about addiction, is the relationships that exist when addiction is their common thread. Imagine his sons after they see this? God help them.
Has two kids and in the end all he cares about is his dog gets into a good home. People become and stay drug addicts because they are selfish and self centered. They can never put anyone else or their feelings before theirs.
Yeah, it's hard to say if he loves the kids. He lit up briefly when he mentioned them. Sounds like he realized mom is the better parent and took his loss. If the kids rejected him he may just be avoiding a painful subject. He wants to be a powerful figure in life and it's likely his boys don't see him that way. It's a hard blow even if he caused it. Some guys like him don't know what love is til they have an animal. The dog may be his only experience of reciprocal love in his life. Sad but such chaotic bonding occurs with people so emotionally dead- as he phrased it. He knows he has been dead inside, and the dog as a simple undemanding creature may be the only love bond he can tolerate in this life.
This guy thinks he's functional living in a tent. Wow
And also intelligent, yeah.
He's high
Nothing is slower then a meth head in a hurry
Word😂😂😂😂
Chill!! We got plenty of time! Help me find the keys we are gonna be late!
Narcissist to his bitter little soul.
Mark almost interrupted the “murder his wife” story 🙄 c’mon mark
😅😅 we are becoming desensitized.
Yeah I was worried about the guy not getting through the story. Even in that story he seems to want to be a tough guy but the vulnerability showed through. His story is all about weakness and the failure to be the tough guy he says he is. All his criminal acts seem to stem from feeling weak. It's really terrible he coped that way since his teens, not knowing anger isn't the only emotion
When he says that meth calms him down and makes him tolerable to other people, it sounds like when people with ADHD describes how amphetamines work on them.
They are dentures from what he said
Implants
Calm yea right. I have adhd its not calming its focusing and euphoric
@@DD-yr6wcThat's right, being able to focus and have a euphoric feeling is so relieving and something calmer than the chaos associated with not focusing and feeling like crap instead.
Absolutely. I am highly functioning but with severe ADHD and am prescribed stimulants very similar to meth. They help me function better and focus. Sounds like this guy could do with an ADHD test.
When I listen to these stories where the addict is telling their stories of stealing, shooting up, dodging death, etc with such pride, I think nah, they're not ready to change.
He said he didn’t want to stop
Its nice how honest this guy is. I think he has been hurt in the past and its his way of coping. Functional addict can mean many different things.
These interviews are so great - non judgemental and humanizing of people on the edges of soviety. Thanks 1,000,000.
Title: guy thinks he’s a functioning crystal addict.
Video :
Don't ever let someone tell you go cry in the bathroom..this guy isn't tough he's a fool
Perhaps a sociopath he only has sympathy for himself.
@DerrickMarkleymusic normal? Read a dictionary. Judgement; noun....see also "a thing everyone does normally in everyday life"
@@DerrickMarkleymusic I swear if you go back and read what you wrote you'll see you're crazy
@DerrickMarkleymusic I guess when you are told to go leave and exit during something bad enough for years you'll think you're glad someone told you cuz that helped... right? It's so helpful to be shunned for a part of all humanity
@@DerrickMarkleymusic yea. You too. I'm sure you need an extra dollar fifty
How weird is this world that just because you go to your job is considered functioning? Odd.
Good point
that's addict brain tho. you could have 0 relationships and your body is falling apart but you made it to work so you can consider yourself "functioning"
Because it's an accomplishment, ESPECIALLY, for an addict. Nothing odd about it. The last thing an addict needs is a negative Nick/Nancy pointing out their setbacks and none of their positives
what do you consider dysfunctioning? just using a drug?? dipshit
I really appreciate this interview. This is SO common where I grew up and now live in NW Houston. Over the past 30 years I’ve known and watched plenty of people who crashed and burned “in their addictions” BUT I know several people who just outgrew partying. AND I also currently know at least 6 - 8 other people (who are now technically senior citizens) who are fully functioning,church going, tax payers and voters AND all while being current meth users! A good servant, but a bad master. The kicker is that like a box of chocolates, you never know what you might get. 🤷🏻♀️
Thing with addiction and trauma - why you start & why you're still doing it 10, 20 + years later, are very different things. And there's plenty more traumatic that might happen *after* you start than you ever had before.
Vicious Cycle
This was me for six years on meth, had 25 years on other shit before that. 7 years "clean" using alcohol and tobacco as a copping mechanism. Trauma is a hell of a thing. You don't know you live with it till you are told you've experienced it. As a child, it's just normal life. It can take over 50 years to discover your life wasn't "normal". You spend another decade trying to adjust to normal.
Our normal isn't your normal.
Parents are the cause, and the key to generational destruction.
I am nearly 50, and am glad I've not knowingly created a new generation.
Humans are fucked.
This. 🫂
Definitely agree with our normal isn't your normal. It may make complete sense in our head but people be looking at us like WTF My life might be a whole lot more boring off drugs, I'll take it tho considering what I could be doing
I have. I added 3 kids to the next generation. And sometimes I wonder if it was a gift or a curse for them. I worry what they are going through and what they will have to go through in the future... You're right though the world can be a fucked up place and it's getting crazier by the day.
Just alwayas be there for them. That's the best any parent can do. Peace to you@@haroldtoweryjr.5704
No, humans aren't fucked. You are. Good luck.
Thank you for sharing your story. Hope you can imagine trying to get sober and getting into recovery. That thing you feel not wanting to be exposed it's shame because you know what you're doing is not lining up with your moral values. I feel like your story can be any inspiration after you get sober!
Sure does sound like a sociopath.
I just made the same comment up above.
This guy is trash without the drugs.
Do sociopaths care for dogs?
@@maxbouvatte Blondi, Hitler's dog.
@@maxbouvatteyes
Would love to have this guy back for part 2
Most relatable video of yours for me yet. Stay in touch with this guy
57 and this guy has learned nothing in his life
You have no idea on what this man has learned. Let me guess.. You are 25 or younger?
@@sarcipious3What he has learned is how to hide from himself. I'm well over 40, a former meth user, and I know a thing or 2 about addiction. The gentleman spoke of doing meth daily so his boss wouldn't have to deal with an asshole. He's running from himself. I'd rather deal with a prick who doesn't self medicate than someone who lies to himself and isn't man enough to face his addiction and move forward. Get real.
@@Jeff-bz6jpyou bought his lies? He also said he was super homeless and doing home invasions etc
What do you think he does for a living?
Sounds like someone who is hiding behind his addiction because he doesn't want to do any work on himself.
thats every addict thats ever existed
Addicts usually have an overwhelming trauma response that is so horrible and impossible to endure that they do anything to suppress that feeling. Nobody consciously makes a choice to fuck up their lives like that. They’re mostly in excruciating mental pain.
@@lordbunburythank you for understanding
Naw, this isn't a functional addict. This is a sociopath. It's a character study with no mention of long-term negative health effects on, say, the heart.
When I was a kid, they told us drinking, smoking and doing drugs would cause us to die young. They lied! This guy is 58, it will be a few more years before he gets his first health issue related to his meth use and I am guessing he will survive. Maybe that will be the wake up call he needs to stop using. Maybe not.
100%
I haven’t heard anyone say, “gacked” since 2000. Aging ourselves man. Not that many old addicts, so its a blessing to be here, take the life you have. Sending love and light ❤
According to AMJ👉meth has been a primary drug choice of 50+ yr olds (helps them want to get up & go after retirement)
Never heard gacked ever
I think you are a honorable Man so honest and transparent I hope you will get a home and enjoy your life