5 REASONS WHY THE INFJ DESTROYS EGOS (without even trying)
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- Опубликовано: 31 окт 2023
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Prepare yourself, because today we're about to unveil the five surefire ways meeting an INFJ will obliterate your ego. Brace yourself for an intense experience, as INFJs have a knack for leaving a lasting impact. Sure, they may seem nice and kind, but don't be fooled - they're just playing the game of harmony. But if you dare to truly get to know an INFJ, your ego will crumble beneath their might. Curious to know what this entails? Is it a bad thing? Should we be ashamed or embrace it? Join us as we unravel the truth, my friends.
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Do you feel guilty for getting into situations that affect other people's egos?
Sometimes. But occasionally, if you do accidentally destroy their ego, chances are it needed to be shattered for their own personal growth, and the universe just used us as the catalyst for them. 👍🏼
Not in the slightest.
Oh yes😕
Absolutely not
Hello from TX - INFJ crew! I still feel guilty but not as much as I did before being aware of the dynamic at hand - I slayed my brothers ego last night - It surprises me still the wrath and rage that escapes my mouth once I have reached the point of not turning the other cheek to dumb ass behavior - I'm still very upset about it but not because I responded with wrath - just how I can not wait to rise and have the choice of not having this energy around me - I am understanding more and more how impressionable I am for real (Wenzes has taught this aspect of our personality for years) but due to trauma of leaving a Narcissists husband and then moving in with my Narcissists dad and little brother - I know that my mission for the rest of my life is to be financially and energetically in a way that when I have to walk away from people like this - I am not negatively affected In ANY way -
Once Infj's learn the difference between being nice and being kind, it changes everything. Look it up. And then quit being nice!
100%
"there is no-one more powerful at the game than the one that sees that it's just a game"
I’ve come across plenty of lions who would roar at me but all I would hear is a squeak because in truth they were just a mouse.
The reason I only work alone now is because so many times before working with others on projects (a dozen or so bands, a dozen or more films) they always seem to get jealous and sabotage the project! It took me DECADES to understand jealousy because I don't have any. It still totally baffles me that ppl are really this way, but I've finally learned to accept it and identify it. The second I see it I cut all ties with them now. So, solo artist only now.
Jealousy is the dumbest emotion to me. I also cut out anyone I see displaying it, even if not at me. We can only be ourselves, so people who are mad at people for being themselves deeply disturbs me. It's absolute madness.
THAT GREEN GODDESS , THAT SO CALLED VIRUS, CYNDI LAUPER COMES TO MIND: PEOPLE WERE SHOWING THEIR TRUE COLORS ! YES THEY SHOWED THEIR TRUE COLORS ! AND JEALOUSY IS THEIR EGO PROBLEM NO MIND, AS I NEVER GET JEALOUS , WHY? I FIND THAT USELESS AND NONSENSE BUT I WILL NOT ALLOW PEOPLE TO LIE TO ME AS NO ONE CAN LIE TO ME, BUT SOMETIMES FUN TO WATCH THEM LIE, AND LOOK BEMUSED , EGO HURT !! SO SAME THING TRY WORKING WITH OTHERS AND WE ARE ALWAYS STRONGER, TOUGHER, FASTER AND SMARTER AND PEOPLE HATE THIS AND ESP THE SMART PART , SO YOU GOT SMART AND THEY JUST GOT TO BE MORE OF DUMBKOFF'S !
I remember when I was trying to move and this one girl tried to sabotage me relocating I still left but it was hilarious that they thought they were going to stop me then tried to cry when I left… like huh.
Thank you. I just don't get it, but some people will seem to have a jealous attitude around me, when I don't understand it whatsoever. I don't feel jealousy at all in that regard, as i love to see other people succeed. That puts a smile on my face, so I find it strange that others wouldn't feel the same whenever I succeed/do well.
Stories of my life. I had nany copycats too
I've always felt that my presence alone triggers people's shadows.
Yup.
Good to know I ain't alone
One who made this saying will be surprised: “Be brave, even if you’re not! Pretend to be! No one can tell the difference!” 😂 I replied, “You can’t fool an INFJ.” We feel the frequencies.
Being brave is a choice not a caracteristic. Bravery without fear is fulishnes.
heck we can tell them what they gonna do and why before they are aware of the situation showing up to their perception. I finally accept I deserve to live in a world of higher dimensions and I have no obligation to share just as they have not earned it. You pet a pet, you don't evolve it lol. Ah bipeds are great. (sure point out my occasional contradiction 'cause I don't know, lol. I am an INFJ. I know how this works. And my performative is performative)
@@michealcherrington6531 I wanted to stay away from you but... you need to be carefull you are not average infj. I understend perfectly but ewery action has consecvences you can after month or year wake up in reality you didn't wanted.
👏✨superb comment ✨🎉🤝🥂
@@raft115 glad you could grab this! 🌷
Because ego trippers get off on the usual reactions they get from people (envy, intimidation, meekness, competition etc) and INFJ doesn't react this way. They're more likely to just look at the person blankly like: ok.
Introverted Intuition is our first function; not extroverted feeling. We won’t sacrifice ourselves or the truth in favor of temporary harmony. That’s the ENFJ.
Hard facts. When push comes to shove the masks come off I will stop playing the jester and the chameleon and I will stand on truth and facts and what I believe in. Willing and ready to smash the idols
Okay, this makes sense. I used dim my light to allow others feel as though there is space for them in the world. I no longer chose to do this, people read me wrong and take, and take, and take as their own energy and effort. Then I'm a horrible person when I do my own thing. Its just not healthy...but I never do anything to intentionally harm others while they seek to harm me. Thank you. This puts everything into perspective. We all must own our own stuff!
It was an eye opener when I saw my friends ego, she really did believe she was above me, I have to laugh at that.
I don't think she realizes what she actually said to me to get my door slam. She hasn't made any attempt to apologize, I'm supposed to forget and pick up from this day forward, I can't do that, I am ensuring that the incident never happens again, the only way to ensure that is to keep the door shut.
Took me a long time to realize placing myself first was not selfish, it was safe. Your absolutely right we can flip the script at the drop of a dime, we see their emotions written all over their face. Can see it in the text they write, feel it in a handshake or a hug. It is time, to let your light shine. Courage is not the absence of fear, is the ability to press on despite it! Thank you for your post W, namaste!
❤ facts! I'm thankful for your encouragement.
As I've come to know myself and am comfortable in my skin, I've been able to do these things. Most times, it's not worth my time. My in-laws have told my husband I've pulled away from them. Yes, I have as they are bullies but frame it in a congenial way. I'm done, and if they can't respect my boundaries, that's their issue.
Good for you.
Good Job.May you find healing
Same. No contact brings me peace. Otherwise I’m left using my INFJ superpowers against the SIL who’s definitely an egomaniac 😂🤣
🙋♀️ same here 100%
they have criticised me forever for not being a "family" person
they are egotistical, insecure about the fact that I am taller than all of them (fr), self-absorbed, forces me to change my work schedules to suit their convenience, put me down so many times tooting theur own horn, saying how I am inferior to them, do not like that I make more money than my husband....AND that my husband simply does not care about being the alpha male and loves me
I may be a natural leader but I am loyal and everything I do is for my family.
I have to make a deliberate effort not to crush a person’s ego… and Im constantly aware of this consideration… it forces me to bend my presentation, in order to save their face.
I HATE big egos
There is nothing to lose. There is noting without the truth. Too many live in delusion.
Story time as an INFJ. When I was in the army, I met a looot of people, but one in particular I hated. During the first days, I was impressed by his confidence, and even though he was a ego type, I told myself why not befriend the cool guy. He had a real life experience, working in the building industry, while I did not. After only a few days, I realised he didn't show me any respect, brought me down every time he could, even going out of his way to trash me. I hated him. I came to him and talked it out, and guess what he said ? I don't want to talk. I'm like COME ON bro we will be together for months... "I'm not talking to you. No ! I don't talk with you" .
We stayed as absolute worst enemies for 8 months, me always doing things his ego didn't like, asking dumb questions which his ego would be obligated to answer, and we just had -1000% respoect for each other. It was kinda funny in fact to not care so much about an individual that you just think of him like an annoying little fly.
Fun fact : We both graduated as sergent, in the SAME company... And on the last day I unleashed a BRUTAL long list of why I hated him, why he had no future and really mean stuff and why he should hate himself. He couldn't find a single counter argument, and just eventually told me "this saturday, come at xxx, we settle this once and for all".
It gave me confidence to be an ass, even if I am a really nice guy haha
much love to the 5ft6 Ego Gollum.
This is absolute proof to me that INFJ's do indeed have giant egos...
once you see it you can’t unsee it
This is true, and I guess part of the reason for me constantly getting rejected or ghosted comes from trying to be real with people. And that terrifies people, at least some of them.
absolutely, it's quite remarkable
I thought I was insane
No you are not ‼️ 4:03 😊
I found the best way to shut some one up is to go Harper Valley PTA on them telling them what their faults are.
Had enough of a person in my life. The insults and projection have reached max tolerance. In a disagreement recently they told me "You lack intelligence" My response "You know my IQ and level of intelligence and you fear it. I am not playing your games anymore." I tried for years to be nice/stupid. I have been open and honest. Not my issue if they refuse to do the work on themselves as I have told them their issues. I warned them of who I am and my abilities. Not my issue their ego let them think they were greater then me. It is a come to Jesus moment for this person. I will destroy them without remorse for all the negativity I have absorbed from them. I see all of their positive attributes which they dim to protect their ego and play a role in society. I will not tell them their positive attributes until I see them. Here is to having a dark side that serves people their crap on a silver platter to eat as no one should be hungry/fearful to be their authentic self as they exhaust others due to their ego and issues. Have a great day INFJ fam.
Well, someone served a doorslam. And i'm here for it. Unfortunate, but necessary. You don't need a person like that.👍
Very well served.
What I try nowadays,is whenever it cross a small line,I speak up.This way....whoever is not for us will surely leave quickly.
I can SO relate!!!
I needed this.
People will be drawn to me. They will tell me things. I genuinely care. But the same care and empathy that makes me trustworthy can turn badly if you misuse my care. ie. "Not somebody to be messed with."
Don't misinterpret our kindness.
I can’t stand jealousy. I’m minding my business, doing my thing, and people get so insecure and mean to me. They try to put me down, and I can only ignore it and turn the other cheek for so long before the yelling and treating me like I’m stupid gets to me. And when I snap, you have truly fucked up and you’ll regret stepping to me.
I agree especially with "Ego Game". I play it very well and I made so many people break either by leaving me alone, avoiding me or hurling insults and rediculous comments which really unveil their stupidity, immaturity and insecurities to the people around them.
3:17 #1
5:11 #2 the infj can play the ego game better than most.
10:07 #3 the infj will step up if they need to.
14:39 #4 the infj can show you that you’ve been caught .
Exactly! The ego game is so silly; they try throwing their words like fists; unaware we came with a sharp wit and are deft at using it.
No. I love going to the darkest places to put people to their place in reality when they deserve it.
How do you know what other people deserve?
@@alicia7240 Any chaotic destructive narcisist deserve leveling just to see he is not so powerfull as he was thinking he is.
Ohhh! Thank you! @@KukuiLelek
I thought I had a big ego, when I went through an awakening.
But now I feel like I was playing the ego game, because so many others were.
Thank You so much God for always being there for me 🙏❤️ Thank You so much God for always being there for me 🙏❤️ Thank You so much God for always being there for me 🙏❤️
There is a small psychological distance, because our true shine intimidates people and who we are on the surface already intimidates people. We don't want to trigger people, with our capabilities. We have to psychologically disconnect from you a bit, and trust you with little things about us before showing you the bigger picture to who we fully are. We don't pretend, we test the waters and observe for changes. People aren't aware of your small, efforts. Which is why they don't get the privilege, to know the full us because we test your gratitude to your entitlement
Excellently stated! Fellow INFJ here so I completely know what you're talking about.
This really spot-on, I think because most of us can really pick and understand people emotion so well, it's just most of the time an INFJ always wanted to make others feels good or motivated, that doesn't mean we can't do the opposite, and that reason exactly true as well, this person keep lying and playing game, hiding something, we just want them to leave us alone.
As a 40 INFJ-T male (diagnosed separate ways and time) I can say this. First there's two types of INFJ: A and T. Second: I'm like Jean Grey in X-Men. If ego is part of your authenticity like Cyclops or Wolverine I respect that can love that. But if a narcissist plays games well... I'm Dark Phoenix: I'm not stopping until that narcissist is broken at the atomic level. I don't apologize, don't feel ashamed, and don't feel guilty. I'm a Sigma: I'm not different for the sake of being different. I'm authentic with me and with others.
This is so truly. If they truly love, they'll show up just the way they are because who they are, is what is so amazing.
1. No masks
2. Real love
3. Real life
Stumbling on your you tube space has been the most clearly marked map I have ever used on my journey of introspection. Thank you for this precious gift,
You make me feel SO INCREDIBLY seen!!
Exactly! We just cannot be fake and why I can't stand people that lie. People are just so quick to judge and view you as *weird, whereas we view people through empathy. I will mirror people back and they are usually taken by surprise because of how quiet and reserved I am. I'm usually invisible anyway--especially at work--and it's painful trying to be around people all under a persona, i.e., ego. This is what causes people to feel their insecurities and cause drama to get rid of you, which usually works because we hate drama and inujstices.
This thing about going into hermit mode and doing some readjusting and baking changes sounds familiar to me.
I like what you said about letting go of façades, and forgetting "the box" by stepping out of it. We definitely need to create joy for ourselves. This is how it should be. We need to make our own. It took me a while but it was worth it to learn that to create my joy, I had to look to myself and not wonder what everyone else was doing to be happy. The void has to be filled "me," not "them."
I like the way you showed how we can actually get addicted to creating joy in our lives - and that it happens naturally. However it was important that you pointed out that it comes from repetition. Nothing replaces finding a good way to do things and repeating it until it comes more flowing.
Actually , I go into hermit mode every once in awhile, although it's not as strong as when I did it for the first time. In fact, I just did it a short time ago and it didn't take long to find myself reviewing and recommitting myself to doing something I'd done a long time ago but had gotten rusty. But rebuilding the habit didn't take as long as acquiring it in the first place. It can be done
Super video.
I dont feel right putting people in their place, but if I have too, it's going to end the war.
9:00min & 18:00min & 20:00min, it's really great how you explained it, that's so typical Sigma INFJ-A, I see myself in that too & it feels right to delimit myself in this way.
"Kindness is only for people who deserve it."
I thought I could never be coined but now I understand the nuances of these personalities and this one has me down to a TEA. I did not understand before. Also, I appreciate this video because I always wondered why I do this: I hurt people when I get tired of their bs. I know I destroy their egos. I feel like I have to as well in some crazy way for them to "grow" and see things differently. My ego destroying words have been an issue with my mom, sisters, and lots of other people. And then I feel bad afterwards especially when my mom criticizes me like why do you always have to say these things to people? And I always wondered and felt like something was wrong with me and that I'm a horrible person but you described it perfectly. I never even thought it was part of my "personality". I thought it was a flaw I tried to get rid of. But for anyone wondering, I also have people in my life who can handle the way I talk and actually love it. They call me honest and legitimate. I appreciate the people who can see me for me and appreciate me the way I am. Thank you for this video because it feels like it validates a part of me I hated.
Yes. People who love it, can handle it and others who don't, want us to diminish ourselves: to play small.
❤❤❤❤ I get in trouble every time I try to have a conversation with my family they never understand where I am coming from so this brings up an argument on their side and then I have to defend myself and they still don't get it so I just leave it alone
A lot of times when I have been an "ego destroyer," it's been unintentional on my part. On two different occasions, this happened when I started on the job actually able to carry it out fairly competently without much experience because it involved some things that came easy to me. I think that my "independence" was a threat to some of my more experienced coworkers. If only they had known how much more I needed to learn and would have been happy to learn from them! 🙂
At that time, I knew I was an INFJ but that was in the pre-internet days and I didn't know a lot of what I now know.
So this video explained a lot. I remembered several other problems I'd had when I didn't know the things that you mentioned here. Later on I began to learn some techniques to better my communication with people. As it turns out, a lot of what I learned paralleled what you describe here.
So this one is worth reviewing a lot. Things have improved for me quite a bit over the years, but as I listen to this I realize this can be another factor in improving even more.
Best channel ever, Wenzes! ❤️
Thanks for all you do! 🖤
Thanks for this🙏 I realllly needed this affirmation today!!!
WOW ❤ cannot resonate more. U wrap it perfectly! Gonna hold to this a lifetime; “use ur energy to thrive, not to survive”
We can only walk on eggshells before it’s time to make an omelette or house that saying go be nice until it’s time not to be nice for me. My fuse is a little shorter than most INFJ‘s my innocence when it comes to the wicked ways of the world Was taken at an early age and with this personality plays a big role like everything in life. It’s a test sometimes you get an a sometimes you get an F one things for sure we don’t quit we don’t compromise, and we’re always striving for the greater good of all, and yet nobody stands beside us rather they get in the way the struggle between good and evil never stops birds of a feather. It’s time to flock together. The planet is coming apart at the seams good people need to organize and find a way to take care of each other, something tells me a tribal lifestyle is it far off just saying
It doesn’t feel good to us. I just had to shut down someone’s ego. It hurt my heart. 💔
Exhilarating and addictive. Thank you for sharing your passion and awareness. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I am so thankful I found you. Thank you for sharing your brilliance!!! You are changing my life in such a wonderful way.❤
Excellent description and very, very relatable.
I just recently realized everything and the power of INFJ just like what you said in the video. And hell yeah...now it's my time 💪😊
On the authenticity part wenzes, i try to be "me" when interacting with girls i like and all i get is the "u r too good to be true" slam. How the hell r u supposed to behave then when being honest is "too good to be true"😞 Jesus Christ, being INFJ male is hardest i tell u fam.
Thisssss
May be they just don't deserve you.Many trauma bonded women like bad boys.Find someone who like good boys?
@@riyajacob2909 thanks Riya♥️
They cannot match your honesty, that's why they made the comment. Maybe they are used to playing the game, including those around them, which mostly based on lies. It is similar to people who are very above average in looks, the knockouts of society. People simply do not know how to handle themselves whenever someone has a standout quality. How they react is another matter.
Be patient my friend, one day you will meet the right person !!! Trust me, always be your self !! 🙂
Thank you Wenzes.
Been a very long week so far. Dealing with allot of egos at work that cant cope with the reality they live outside of our workspace and choose to project that insecurity while in my presence. I'm beginning to struggle to hold back that I'm capable of being the villain and just cant understand how you endure ,making out the patterns most people fall into. Thank you for the content and giving me the opportunity to rationalize what I've been feeling!
This makes so much sense!❤
Nice points and breakdown as always!💜🎯
You will get along with those you see yourself equal to, in the absence of your ego.
What a beautiful woman you are Wenzes- inside and out. Thank you for all the time, energy and love that you put into your videos and in helping me embrace, understand and thrive being an INFJ personality.
Listening to a series of videos by Wenzes this morning. brilliant! Suddenly so many strange things make sense. Blown away. Totally.
Thank you Wenzes another great video/blog. You’re spot on again! Amazing!
❤ You speak about “INFJ” like you know me personnaly ! That is incredible ! Thank you for all your podcasts !
Thanks Love your videos ❤
Yeah Wen, your words are the words of my heart.
All facts! 👍🏼🔥👍🏼
Been a while, but I hope you’ve been doing well my amazing friend! 🙂🌹❤️
Thank you for this, it verbalised situations that I have been pondering and had confusion on and the conclusions on how I was going to deal with it. You have confirmed that my decisions are on point! Very grateful as I will proceed more confidently now🙂
Wow, one of the most resonating video's Wenzes!
Thank you 🙏🏿
My mind has been blown in the first 3 minutes
Thank you for this message. I’ve learned a lot✌🏾
@Wenses i truly appreciate you
She knows me so well. This is insanely accurate 😳
I’m learning. I protected myself. I realized I’ve come along way baby!!! 🎉🎉🎉
I really appreciate you
What’s truly fascinating in this world is seeing how those who presume they can judge others hold up under such judgment themselves. So often they are incapable of grasping the difference between their own flawed opinions, and objective measures. I know one such person all too well. She will not hesitate to provide her unrequested opinion on anyone, proudly stating she has “no filter”, yet when called out on the bad behavior she exhibits when drunk she storm out of the room shrieking “I will not be judged”.
So relevant today just been explaining this to my mum. I hate taking pleasure from it occasionally as well
Yes 💯 for it all❤
wish I could give more thumbs up. Thanks, Wenzes! 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Thank you. I was just laying here and listening with my eyes closed and wow all the memories that flooded back as you spoke. Yea😡 I really dimmed my light! I even put up with date this guy wear this dress. Yea😠 everything to keep me down to keep my light dim. I never was stupid and I kowtow too many time and just excepted it. God! What a fool I’ve been and to realize this so many years later. No they had no idea I was an infj this is something I just discovered a few years ago. I’m so mad. Thank you for this. I need another episode like this one of what to do now that I’ve discovered what happened to me. I’m getting that studio! I’m moving to another state and starting a new life and business!!
Yes...I agreed...if I want I can..
Accurate af
Does anyone ever get, "it's something about your eyes" . I see now, it's honesty 😂
Queen 👸🏻 #INFJ
Thank you cutie 😊
Thank you for good advice, all you have to say is right, from now on i will adjust my self, to do the things you said, once again thanks i really admire your good mindset
Is a choice not a pretense once you do it. A brave choice that gets easier with every practice until natural.
Please don’t go anywhere your great
Never something want….., until we do
Yes they can and isn't subconscious. We know what it is. They can talk. They just won't. You can as long as want face consequences and you won't die. Trust.
They can TRY to hide 😆
Leave me alone!! They can’t! Lol
Ooh could this be why my friendships with other women never worked out. I always felt I have to shrink myself to not make them intimidated. But the more my real self emerged the more they were distanced and hostile.
This girl is my foreign female counterpart. She is the same as me, completely.
This is probably why I don't get along with my brother because he can't get away with the things I call him out on
I AM STRONGER ,TOUGHER, FASTER AND SMARTER!! AND THAT IS JUST THE TRUTH , SORRY IT OFFENDS YOUR DELICATE EGO BUT I DO NOT CARE ANY LONGER ! GOOD BYE!
I promise. Ppl keep pressing me and beg for a lesson. Let's play it, so i can win and we can BE DONE with this already 😅
In the world of not good environment and sorround by self centered people I need to be strong everyday because people toying me so I'm able to overcome this mind game but if they push me on the limit my dark side going out,if they respect me I do more than they respect me that's my real character no candy coating
true
Embrace your "Heyoka!!".😅😂👍