Sometimes. But occasionally, if you do accidentally destroy their ego, chances are it needed to be shattered for their own personal growth, and the universe just used us as the catalyst for them. 👍🏼
Hello from TX - INFJ crew! I still feel guilty but not as much as I did before being aware of the dynamic at hand - I slayed my brothers ego last night - It surprises me still the wrath and rage that escapes my mouth once I have reached the point of not turning the other cheek to dumb ass behavior - I'm still very upset about it but not because I responded with wrath - just how I can not wait to rise and have the choice of not having this energy around me - I am understanding more and more how impressionable I am for real (Wenzes has taught this aspect of our personality for years) but due to trauma of leaving a Narcissists husband and then moving in with my Narcissists dad and little brother - I know that my mission for the rest of my life is to be financially and energetically in a way that when I have to walk away from people like this - I am not negatively affected In ANY way -
One who made this saying will be surprised: “Be brave, even if you’re not! Pretend to be! No one can tell the difference!” 😂 I replied, “You can’t fool an INFJ.” We feel the frequencies.
heck we can tell them what they gonna do and why before they are aware of the situation showing up to their perception. I finally accept I deserve to live in a world of higher dimensions and I have no obligation to share just as they have not earned it. You pet a pet, you don't evolve it lol. Ah bipeds are great. (sure point out my occasional contradiction 'cause I don't know, lol. I am an INFJ. I know how this works. And my performative is performative)
@@michealcherrington6531 I wanted to stay away from you but... you need to be carefull you are not average infj. I understend perfectly but ewery action has consecvences you can after month or year wake up in reality you didn't wanted.
The reason I only work alone now is because so many times before working with others on projects (a dozen or so bands, a dozen or more films) they always seem to get jealous and sabotage the project! It took me DECADES to understand jealousy because I don't have any. It still totally baffles me that ppl are really this way, but I've finally learned to accept it and identify it. The second I see it I cut all ties with them now. So, solo artist only now.
Jealousy is the dumbest emotion to me. I also cut out anyone I see displaying it, even if not at me. We can only be ourselves, so people who are mad at people for being themselves deeply disturbs me. It's absolute madness.
THAT GREEN GODDESS , THAT SO CALLED VIRUS, CYNDI LAUPER COMES TO MIND: PEOPLE WERE SHOWING THEIR TRUE COLORS ! YES THEY SHOWED THEIR TRUE COLORS ! AND JEALOUSY IS THEIR EGO PROBLEM NO MIND, AS I NEVER GET JEALOUS , WHY? I FIND THAT USELESS AND NONSENSE BUT I WILL NOT ALLOW PEOPLE TO LIE TO ME AS NO ONE CAN LIE TO ME, BUT SOMETIMES FUN TO WATCH THEM LIE, AND LOOK BEMUSED , EGO HURT !! SO SAME THING TRY WORKING WITH OTHERS AND WE ARE ALWAYS STRONGER, TOUGHER, FASTER AND SMARTER AND PEOPLE HATE THIS AND ESP THE SMART PART , SO YOU GOT SMART AND THEY JUST GOT TO BE MORE OF DUMBKOFF'S !
I remember when I was trying to move and this one girl tried to sabotage me relocating I still left but it was hilarious that they thought they were going to stop me then tried to cry when I left… like huh.
Thank you. I just don't get it, but some people will seem to have a jealous attitude around me, when I don't understand it whatsoever. I don't feel jealousy at all in that regard, as i love to see other people succeed. That puts a smile on my face, so I find it strange that others wouldn't feel the same whenever I succeed/do well.
I have to make a deliberate effort not to crush a person’s ego… and Im constantly aware of this consideration… it forces me to bend my presentation, in order to save their face.
Because ego trippers get off on the usual reactions they get from people (envy, intimidation, meekness, competition etc) and INFJ doesn't react this way. They're more likely to just look at the person blankly like: ok.
Introverted Intuition is our first function; not extroverted feeling. We won’t sacrifice ourselves or the truth in favor of temporary harmony. That’s the ENFJ.
It was an eye opener when I saw my friends ego, she really did believe she was above me, I have to laugh at that. I don't think she realizes what she actually said to me to get my door slam. She hasn't made any attempt to apologize, I'm supposed to forget and pick up from this day forward, I can't do that, I am ensuring that the incident never happens again, the only way to ensure that is to keep the door shut.
Okay, this makes sense. I used dim my light to allow others feel as though there is space for them in the world. I no longer chose to do this, people read me wrong and take, and take, and take as their own energy and effort. Then I'm a horrible person when I do my own thing. Its just not healthy...but I never do anything to intentionally harm others while they seek to harm me. Thank you. This puts everything into perspective. We all must own our own stuff!
Took me a long time to realize placing myself first was not selfish, it was safe. Your absolutely right we can flip the script at the drop of a dime, we see their emotions written all over their face. Can see it in the text they write, feel it in a handshake or a hug. It is time, to let your light shine. Courage is not the absence of fear, is the ability to press on despite it! Thank you for your post W, namaste!
Story time as an INFJ. When I was in the army, I met a looot of people, but one in particular I hated. During the first days, I was impressed by his confidence, and even though he was a ego type, I told myself why not befriend the cool guy. He had a real life experience, working in the building industry, while I did not. After only a few days, I realised he didn't show me any respect, brought me down every time he could, even going out of his way to trash me. I hated him. I came to him and talked it out, and guess what he said ? I don't want to talk. I'm like COME ON bro we will be together for months... "I'm not talking to you. No ! I don't talk with you" . We stayed as absolute worst enemies for 8 months, me always doing things his ego didn't like, asking dumb questions which his ego would be obligated to answer, and we just had -1000% respoect for each other. It was kinda funny in fact to not care so much about an individual that you just think of him like an annoying little fly. Fun fact : We both graduated as sergent, in the SAME company... And on the last day I unleashed a BRUTAL long list of why I hated him, why he had no future and really mean stuff and why he should hate himself. He couldn't find a single counter argument, and just eventually told me "this saturday, come at xxx, we settle this once and for all". It gave me confidence to be an ass, even if I am a really nice guy haha much love to the 5ft6 Ego Gollum.
As I've come to know myself and am comfortable in my skin, I've been able to do these things. Most times, it's not worth my time. My in-laws have told my husband I've pulled away from them. Yes, I have as they are bullies but frame it in a congenial way. I'm done, and if they can't respect my boundaries, that's their issue.
🙋♀️ same here 100% they have criticised me forever for not being a "family" person they are egotistical, insecure about the fact that I am taller than all of them (fr), self-absorbed, forces me to change my work schedules to suit their convenience, put me down so many times tooting theur own horn, saying how I am inferior to them, do not like that I make more money than my husband....AND that my husband simply does not care about being the alpha male and loves me I may be a natural leader but I am loyal and everything I do is for my family.
My husband used to tell me to “just be nice”. Worst advice EVER. The in-laws were out for blood! The nicer I was, the meaner they became. Fast forward 30 years…. I ONLY go to a function that I think would be pleasant or tolerable. Like a niece’s shower who has ALWAYS been kind to me. And of course, through the years, our success has jumped forward. They are stuck in their same situation. I have no clue how they feel because I’m rarely near them. Thank G!! Marriage saver & made my life so much more PEACEFUL. I have my own children & friends & have built a separate life. Once my husband realized how mean they were, he was on board. But for years, he never believed it. Then he stopped going to the bar & picking up their tab, or helping them out. They NEVER call. So he now sees it & gets it. He was hurt, I was relieved
Had enough of a person in my life. The insults and projection have reached max tolerance. In a disagreement recently they told me "You lack intelligence" My response "You know my IQ and level of intelligence and you fear it. I am not playing your games anymore." I tried for years to be nice/stupid. I have been open and honest. Not my issue if they refuse to do the work on themselves as I have told them their issues. I warned them of who I am and my abilities. Not my issue their ego let them think they were greater then me. It is a come to Jesus moment for this person. I will destroy them without remorse for all the negativity I have absorbed from them. I see all of their positive attributes which they dim to protect their ego and play a role in society. I will not tell them their positive attributes until I see them. Here is to having a dark side that serves people their crap on a silver platter to eat as no one should be hungry/fearful to be their authentic self as they exhaust others due to their ego and issues. Have a great day INFJ fam.
I needed this. People will be drawn to me. They will tell me things. I genuinely care. But the same care and empathy that makes me trustworthy can turn badly if you misuse my care. ie. "Not somebody to be messed with." Don't misinterpret our kindness.
3:17 #1 5:11 #2 the infj can play the ego game better than most. 10:07 #3 the infj will step up if they need to. 14:39 #4 the infj can show you that you’ve been caught .
This is true, and I guess part of the reason for me constantly getting rejected or ghosted comes from trying to be real with people. And that terrifies people, at least some of them.
I agree especially with "Ego Game". I play it very well and I made so many people break either by leaving me alone, avoiding me or hurling insults and rediculous comments which really unveil their stupidity, immaturity and insecurities to the people around them.
Thank You so much God for always being there for me 🙏❤️ Thank You so much God for always being there for me 🙏❤️ Thank You so much God for always being there for me 🙏❤️
Exactly! We just cannot be fake and why I can't stand people that lie. People are just so quick to judge and view you as *weird, whereas we view people through empathy. I will mirror people back and they are usually taken by surprise because of how quiet and reserved I am. I'm usually invisible anyway--especially at work--and it's painful trying to be around people all under a persona, i.e., ego. This is what causes people to feel their insecurities and cause drama to get rid of you, which usually works because we hate drama and inujstices.
Stumbling on your you tube space has been the most clearly marked map I have ever used on my journey of introspection. Thank you for this precious gift,
This really spot-on, I think because most of us can really pick and understand people emotion so well, it's just most of the time an INFJ always wanted to make others feels good or motivated, that doesn't mean we can't do the opposite, and that reason exactly true as well, this person keep lying and playing game, hiding something, we just want them to leave us alone.
I can’t stand jealousy. I’m minding my business, doing my thing, and people get so insecure and mean to me. They try to put me down, and I can only ignore it and turn the other cheek for so long before the yelling and treating me like I’m stupid gets to me. And when I snap, you have truly fucked up and you’ll regret stepping to me.
❤❤❤❤ I get in trouble every time I try to have a conversation with my family they never understand where I am coming from so this brings up an argument on their side and then I have to defend myself and they still don't get it so I just leave it alone
This is so truly. If they truly love, they'll show up just the way they are because who they are, is what is so amazing. 1. No masks 2. Real love 3. Real life
9:00min & 18:00min & 20:00min, it's really great how you explained it, that's so typical Sigma INFJ-A, I see myself in that too & it feels right to delimit myself in this way. "Kindness is only for people who deserve it."
As a 40 INFJ-T male (diagnosed separate ways and time) I can say this. First there's two types of INFJ: A and T. Second: I'm like Jean Grey in X-Men. If ego is part of your authenticity like Cyclops or Wolverine I respect that can love that. But if a narcissist plays games well... I'm Dark Phoenix: I'm not stopping until that narcissist is broken at the atomic level. I don't apologize, don't feel ashamed, and don't feel guilty. I'm a Sigma: I'm not different for the sake of being different. I'm authentic with me and with others.
There is a small psychological distance, because our true shine intimidates people and who we are on the surface already intimidates people. We don't want to trigger people, with our capabilities. We have to psychologically disconnect from you a bit, and trust you with little things about us before showing you the bigger picture to who we fully are. We don't pretend, we test the waters and observe for changes. People aren't aware of your small, efforts. Which is why they don't get the privilege, to know the full us because we test your gratitude to your entitlement
I thought I could never be coined but now I understand the nuances of these personalities and this one has me down to a TEA. I did not understand before. Also, I appreciate this video because I always wondered why I do this: I hurt people when I get tired of their bs. I know I destroy their egos. I feel like I have to as well in some crazy way for them to "grow" and see things differently. My ego destroying words have been an issue with my mom, sisters, and lots of other people. And then I feel bad afterwards especially when my mom criticizes me like why do you always have to say these things to people? And I always wondered and felt like something was wrong with me and that I'm a horrible person but you described it perfectly. I never even thought it was part of my "personality". I thought it was a flaw I tried to get rid of. But for anyone wondering, I also have people in my life who can handle the way I talk and actually love it. They call me honest and legitimate. I appreciate the people who can see me for me and appreciate me the way I am. Thank you for this video because it feels like it validates a part of me I hated.
This really explains my behaviour so perfectly!!! I couldnt understand why I would try to not step on other people's shoes...thank you for your explanation! so so much!!
This thing about going into hermit mode and doing some readjusting and baking changes sounds familiar to me. I like what you said about letting go of façades, and forgetting "the box" by stepping out of it. We definitely need to create joy for ourselves. This is how it should be. We need to make our own. It took me a while but it was worth it to learn that to create my joy, I had to look to myself and not wonder what everyone else was doing to be happy. The void has to be filled "me," not "them." I like the way you showed how we can actually get addicted to creating joy in our lives - and that it happens naturally. However it was important that you pointed out that it comes from repetition. Nothing replaces finding a good way to do things and repeating it until it comes more flowing. Actually , I go into hermit mode every once in awhile, although it's not as strong as when I did it for the first time. In fact, I just did it a short time ago and it didn't take long to find myself reviewing and recommitting myself to doing something I'd done a long time ago but had gotten rusty. But rebuilding the habit didn't take as long as acquiring it in the first place. It can be done Super video.
0:27 and I am the most kind-hearted person but I will not let anyone else dim my shine. But I just do that by being mean not by bringing anyone else down or tearing anyone down. My light is contagious. I change people. Even narcissists. And what I'm about to say isn't about me trying to say I'm better. I have just learned.. through suffering
A lot of times when I have been an "ego destroyer," it's been unintentional on my part. On two different occasions, this happened when I started on the job actually able to carry it out fairly competently without much experience because it involved some things that came easy to me. I think that my "independence" was a threat to some of my more experienced coworkers. If only they had known how much more I needed to learn and would have been happy to learn from them! 🙂 At that time, I knew I was an INFJ but that was in the pre-internet days and I didn't know a lot of what I now know. So this video explained a lot. I remembered several other problems I'd had when I didn't know the things that you mentioned here. Later on I began to learn some techniques to better my communication with people. As it turns out, a lot of what I learned paralleled what you describe here. So this one is worth reviewing a lot. Things have improved for me quite a bit over the years, but as I listen to this I realize this can be another factor in improving even more.
I used to gain weight to make myself less attractive, because women would treat me terribly... bully me, etc. When I gained weight, they would be nicer to me. Now that I'm older and there are risks involved with the extra weight, I'm like f that. I'm going to lose the weight and look my best - and I had exactly the same view you said - that it's their insecurity, not mine. I feel like I wasted so many years trying to make myself unattractive for other women to accept me. If you don't like me for me, then you're not the right person in my life. It's time to shine!
I can instantly spot a fake person right away, and I understand body language very well so I can see when their body is speaking differently than their words. It's quite interesting to learn how to body language
On the authenticity part wenzes, i try to be "me" when interacting with girls i like and all i get is the "u r too good to be true" slam. How the hell r u supposed to behave then when being honest is "too good to be true"😞 Jesus Christ, being INFJ male is hardest i tell u fam.
They cannot match your honesty, that's why they made the comment. Maybe they are used to playing the game, including those around them, which mostly based on lies. It is similar to people who are very above average in looks, the knockouts of society. People simply do not know how to handle themselves whenever someone has a standout quality. How they react is another matter.
We can only walk on eggshells before it’s time to make an omelette or house that saying go be nice until it’s time not to be nice for me. My fuse is a little shorter than most INFJ‘s my innocence when it comes to the wicked ways of the world Was taken at an early age and with this personality plays a big role like everything in life. It’s a test sometimes you get an a sometimes you get an F one things for sure we don’t quit we don’t compromise, and we’re always striving for the greater good of all, and yet nobody stands beside us rather they get in the way the struggle between good and evil never stops birds of a feather. It’s time to flock together. The planet is coming apart at the seams good people need to organize and find a way to take care of each other, something tells me a tribal lifestyle is it far off just saying
Because I don't see that somebody that is let go of their ego in this program. You are very caught up in your appearance. And it says a lot about your ego. And I actually have a degree in psychology well... Three collective credits short. I can diagnose my psychologist. I can see that they don't even know how to heal. I could diagnose them. And every diagnosis that I ever ever had I gave myself before they gave it to me. Because I have this gift Born through pain
What’s truly fascinating in this world is seeing how those who presume they can judge others hold up under such judgment themselves. So often they are incapable of grasping the difference between their own flawed opinions, and objective measures. I know one such person all too well. She will not hesitate to provide her unrequested opinion on anyone, proudly stating she has “no filter”, yet when called out on the bad behavior she exhibits when drunk she storm out of the room shrieking “I will not be judged”.
Thank you babe, I just went through this. Destroyed my partner, now she’s a narcissist 🤔 I’ll keep my kind and steady hand available. I warned them as many times as I could. And finally I burst from my old self, ready for and knowing how to pursue happiness.
What a beautiful woman you are Wenzes- inside and out. Thank you for all the time, energy and love that you put into your videos and in helping me embrace, understand and thrive being an INFJ personality.
Thank you. I was just laying here and listening with my eyes closed and wow all the memories that flooded back as you spoke. Yea😡 I really dimmed my light! I even put up with date this guy wear this dress. Yea😠 everything to keep me down to keep my light dim. I never was stupid and I kowtow too many time and just excepted it. God! What a fool I’ve been and to realize this so many years later. No they had no idea I was an infj this is something I just discovered a few years ago. I’m so mad. Thank you for this. I need another episode like this one of what to do now that I’ve discovered what happened to me. I’m getting that studio! I’m moving to another state and starting a new life and business!!
Yes they can and isn't subconscious. We know what it is. They can talk. They just won't. You can as long as want face consequences and you won't die. Trust.
Been a very long week so far. Dealing with allot of egos at work that cant cope with the reality they live outside of our workspace and choose to project that insecurity while in my presence. I'm beginning to struggle to hold back that I'm capable of being the villain and just cant understand how you endure ,making out the patterns most people fall into. Thank you for the content and giving me the opportunity to rationalize what I've been feeling!
Thank you for good advice, all you have to say is right, from now on i will adjust my self, to do the things you said, once again thanks i really admire your good mindset
Watch Coach Carter. There's a scene in that movie When they're talking about being the light And it's our light that enables them . To become the light themselves.
Thank you for this, it verbalised situations that I have been pondering and had confusion on and the conclusions on how I was going to deal with it. You have confirmed that my decisions are on point! Very grateful as I will proceed more confidently now🙂
Ooh could this be why my friendships with other women never worked out. I always felt I have to shrink myself to not make them intimidated. But the more my real self emerged the more they were distanced and hostile.
Do you feel guilty for getting into situations that affect other people's egos?
Sometimes. But occasionally, if you do accidentally destroy their ego, chances are it needed to be shattered for their own personal growth, and the universe just used us as the catalyst for them. 👍🏼
Not in the slightest.
Oh yes😕
Absolutely not
Hello from TX - INFJ crew! I still feel guilty but not as much as I did before being aware of the dynamic at hand - I slayed my brothers ego last night - It surprises me still the wrath and rage that escapes my mouth once I have reached the point of not turning the other cheek to dumb ass behavior - I'm still very upset about it but not because I responded with wrath - just how I can not wait to rise and have the choice of not having this energy around me - I am understanding more and more how impressionable I am for real (Wenzes has taught this aspect of our personality for years) but due to trauma of leaving a Narcissists husband and then moving in with my Narcissists dad and little brother - I know that my mission for the rest of my life is to be financially and energetically in a way that when I have to walk away from people like this - I am not negatively affected In ANY way -
I HATE big egos
Once Infj's learn the difference between being nice and being kind, it changes everything. Look it up. And then quit being nice!
100%
One who made this saying will be surprised: “Be brave, even if you’re not! Pretend to be! No one can tell the difference!” 😂 I replied, “You can’t fool an INFJ.” We feel the frequencies.
Being brave is a choice not a caracteristic. Bravery without fear is fulishnes.
heck we can tell them what they gonna do and why before they are aware of the situation showing up to their perception. I finally accept I deserve to live in a world of higher dimensions and I have no obligation to share just as they have not earned it. You pet a pet, you don't evolve it lol. Ah bipeds are great. (sure point out my occasional contradiction 'cause I don't know, lol. I am an INFJ. I know how this works. And my performative is performative)
@@michealcherrington6531 I wanted to stay away from you but... you need to be carefull you are not average infj. I understend perfectly but ewery action has consecvences you can after month or year wake up in reality you didn't wanted.
👏✨superb comment ✨🎉🤝🥂
@@raft115 glad you could grab this! 🌷
"there is no-one more powerful at the game than the one that sees that it's just a game"
Rule #1: Try to know yourself.
Rule #2: Try to know the person you are talking to.
I’ve come across plenty of lions who would roar at me but all I would hear is a squeak because in truth they were just a mouse.
The reason I only work alone now is because so many times before working with others on projects (a dozen or so bands, a dozen or more films) they always seem to get jealous and sabotage the project! It took me DECADES to understand jealousy because I don't have any. It still totally baffles me that ppl are really this way, but I've finally learned to accept it and identify it. The second I see it I cut all ties with them now. So, solo artist only now.
Jealousy is the dumbest emotion to me. I also cut out anyone I see displaying it, even if not at me. We can only be ourselves, so people who are mad at people for being themselves deeply disturbs me. It's absolute madness.
THAT GREEN GODDESS , THAT SO CALLED VIRUS, CYNDI LAUPER COMES TO MIND: PEOPLE WERE SHOWING THEIR TRUE COLORS ! YES THEY SHOWED THEIR TRUE COLORS ! AND JEALOUSY IS THEIR EGO PROBLEM NO MIND, AS I NEVER GET JEALOUS , WHY? I FIND THAT USELESS AND NONSENSE BUT I WILL NOT ALLOW PEOPLE TO LIE TO ME AS NO ONE CAN LIE TO ME, BUT SOMETIMES FUN TO WATCH THEM LIE, AND LOOK BEMUSED , EGO HURT !! SO SAME THING TRY WORKING WITH OTHERS AND WE ARE ALWAYS STRONGER, TOUGHER, FASTER AND SMARTER AND PEOPLE HATE THIS AND ESP THE SMART PART , SO YOU GOT SMART AND THEY JUST GOT TO BE MORE OF DUMBKOFF'S !
I remember when I was trying to move and this one girl tried to sabotage me relocating I still left but it was hilarious that they thought they were going to stop me then tried to cry when I left… like huh.
Thank you. I just don't get it, but some people will seem to have a jealous attitude around me, when I don't understand it whatsoever. I don't feel jealousy at all in that regard, as i love to see other people succeed. That puts a smile on my face, so I find it strange that others wouldn't feel the same whenever I succeed/do well.
Stories of my life. I had nany copycats too
I've always felt that my presence alone triggers people's shadows.
Your aura makes them uncomfortable
I have to make a deliberate effort not to crush a person’s ego… and Im constantly aware of this consideration… it forces me to bend my presentation, in order to save their face.
Because ego trippers get off on the usual reactions they get from people (envy, intimidation, meekness, competition etc) and INFJ doesn't react this way. They're more likely to just look at the person blankly like: ok.
Factz, INFJ’s don’t give the reactions or respond in the way a person is looking for
Introverted Intuition is our first function; not extroverted feeling. We won’t sacrifice ourselves or the truth in favor of temporary harmony. That’s the ENFJ.
Enfj are pure evil
It was an eye opener when I saw my friends ego, she really did believe she was above me, I have to laugh at that.
I don't think she realizes what she actually said to me to get my door slam. She hasn't made any attempt to apologize, I'm supposed to forget and pick up from this day forward, I can't do that, I am ensuring that the incident never happens again, the only way to ensure that is to keep the door shut.
Forgetting her is the best way to win. She doesn’t care that you left
once you see it you can’t unsee it
Okay, this makes sense. I used dim my light to allow others feel as though there is space for them in the world. I no longer chose to do this, people read me wrong and take, and take, and take as their own energy and effort. Then I'm a horrible person when I do my own thing. Its just not healthy...but I never do anything to intentionally harm others while they seek to harm me. Thank you. This puts everything into perspective. We all must own our own stuff!
Took me a long time to realize placing myself first was not selfish, it was safe. Your absolutely right we can flip the script at the drop of a dime, we see their emotions written all over their face. Can see it in the text they write, feel it in a handshake or a hug. It is time, to let your light shine. Courage is not the absence of fear, is the ability to press on despite it! Thank you for your post W, namaste!
❤ facts! I'm thankful for your encouragement.
Story time as an INFJ. When I was in the army, I met a looot of people, but one in particular I hated. During the first days, I was impressed by his confidence, and even though he was a ego type, I told myself why not befriend the cool guy. He had a real life experience, working in the building industry, while I did not. After only a few days, I realised he didn't show me any respect, brought me down every time he could, even going out of his way to trash me. I hated him. I came to him and talked it out, and guess what he said ? I don't want to talk. I'm like COME ON bro we will be together for months... "I'm not talking to you. No ! I don't talk with you" .
We stayed as absolute worst enemies for 8 months, me always doing things his ego didn't like, asking dumb questions which his ego would be obligated to answer, and we just had -1000% respoect for each other. It was kinda funny in fact to not care so much about an individual that you just think of him like an annoying little fly.
Fun fact : We both graduated as sergent, in the SAME company... And on the last day I unleashed a BRUTAL long list of why I hated him, why he had no future and really mean stuff and why he should hate himself. He couldn't find a single counter argument, and just eventually told me "this saturday, come at xxx, we settle this once and for all".
It gave me confidence to be an ass, even if I am a really nice guy haha
much love to the 5ft6 Ego Gollum.
This is absolute proof to me that INFJ's do indeed have giant egos...
As I've come to know myself and am comfortable in my skin, I've been able to do these things. Most times, it's not worth my time. My in-laws have told my husband I've pulled away from them. Yes, I have as they are bullies but frame it in a congenial way. I'm done, and if they can't respect my boundaries, that's their issue.
Good for you.
Good Job.May you find healing
Same. No contact brings me peace. Otherwise I’m left using my INFJ superpowers against the SIL who’s definitely an egomaniac 😂🤣
🙋♀️ same here 100%
they have criticised me forever for not being a "family" person
they are egotistical, insecure about the fact that I am taller than all of them (fr), self-absorbed, forces me to change my work schedules to suit their convenience, put me down so many times tooting theur own horn, saying how I am inferior to them, do not like that I make more money than my husband....AND that my husband simply does not care about being the alpha male and loves me
I may be a natural leader but I am loyal and everything I do is for my family.
My husband used to tell me to “just be nice”. Worst advice EVER. The in-laws were out for blood! The nicer I was, the meaner they became.
Fast forward 30 years…. I ONLY go to a function that I think would be pleasant or tolerable. Like a niece’s shower who has ALWAYS been kind to me.
And of course, through the years, our success has jumped forward. They are stuck in their same situation.
I have no clue how they feel because I’m rarely near them.
Thank G!! Marriage saver & made my life so much more PEACEFUL.
I have my own children & friends & have built a separate life. Once my husband realized how mean they were, he was on board. But for years, he never believed it. Then he stopped going to the bar & picking up their tab, or helping them out. They NEVER call. So he now sees it & gets it. He was hurt, I was relieved
Had enough of a person in my life. The insults and projection have reached max tolerance. In a disagreement recently they told me "You lack intelligence" My response "You know my IQ and level of intelligence and you fear it. I am not playing your games anymore." I tried for years to be nice/stupid. I have been open and honest. Not my issue if they refuse to do the work on themselves as I have told them their issues. I warned them of who I am and my abilities. Not my issue their ego let them think they were greater then me. It is a come to Jesus moment for this person. I will destroy them without remorse for all the negativity I have absorbed from them. I see all of their positive attributes which they dim to protect their ego and play a role in society. I will not tell them their positive attributes until I see them. Here is to having a dark side that serves people their crap on a silver platter to eat as no one should be hungry/fearful to be their authentic self as they exhaust others due to their ego and issues. Have a great day INFJ fam.
Well, someone served a doorslam. And i'm here for it. Unfortunate, but necessary. You don't need a person like that.👍
Very well served.
What I try nowadays,is whenever it cross a small line,I speak up.This way....whoever is not for us will surely leave quickly.
I can SO relate!!!
I needed this.
People will be drawn to me. They will tell me things. I genuinely care. But the same care and empathy that makes me trustworthy can turn badly if you misuse my care. ie. "Not somebody to be messed with."
Don't misinterpret our kindness.
There is nothing to lose. There is noting without the truth. Too many live in delusion.
I thought I was insane
No you are not ‼️ 4:03 😊
3:17 #1
5:11 #2 the infj can play the ego game better than most.
10:07 #3 the infj will step up if they need to.
14:39 #4 the infj can show you that you’ve been caught .
This is true, and I guess part of the reason for me constantly getting rejected or ghosted comes from trying to be real with people. And that terrifies people, at least some of them.
absolutely, it's quite remarkable
Exactly! The ego game is so silly; they try throwing their words like fists; unaware we came with a sharp wit and are deft at using it.
I agree especially with "Ego Game". I play it very well and I made so many people break either by leaving me alone, avoiding me or hurling insults and rediculous comments which really unveil their stupidity, immaturity and insecurities to the people around them.
Thank You so much God for always being there for me 🙏❤️ Thank You so much God for always being there for me 🙏❤️ Thank You so much God for always being there for me 🙏❤️
No. I love going to the darkest places to put people to their place in reality when they deserve it.
How do you know what other people deserve?
@@alicia7240 Any chaotic destructive narcisist deserve leveling just to see he is not so powerfull as he was thinking he is.
Ohhh! Thank you! @@KukuiLelek
Exactly! We just cannot be fake and why I can't stand people that lie. People are just so quick to judge and view you as *weird, whereas we view people through empathy. I will mirror people back and they are usually taken by surprise because of how quiet and reserved I am. I'm usually invisible anyway--especially at work--and it's painful trying to be around people all under a persona, i.e., ego. This is what causes people to feel their insecurities and cause drama to get rid of you, which usually works because we hate drama and inujstices.
You make me feel SO INCREDIBLY seen!!
Stumbling on your you tube space has been the most clearly marked map I have ever used on my journey of introspection. Thank you for this precious gift,
This really spot-on, I think because most of us can really pick and understand people emotion so well, it's just most of the time an INFJ always wanted to make others feels good or motivated, that doesn't mean we can't do the opposite, and that reason exactly true as well, this person keep lying and playing game, hiding something, we just want them to leave us alone.
I thought I had a big ego, when I went through an awakening.
But now I feel like I was playing the ego game, because so many others were.
I can’t stand jealousy. I’m minding my business, doing my thing, and people get so insecure and mean to me. They try to put me down, and I can only ignore it and turn the other cheek for so long before the yelling and treating me like I’m stupid gets to me. And when I snap, you have truly fucked up and you’ll regret stepping to me.
❤❤❤❤ I get in trouble every time I try to have a conversation with my family they never understand where I am coming from so this brings up an argument on their side and then I have to defend myself and they still don't get it so I just leave it alone
This is so truly. If they truly love, they'll show up just the way they are because who they are, is what is so amazing.
1. No masks
2. Real love
3. Real life
I dont feel right putting people in their place, but if I have too, it's going to end the war.
9:00min & 18:00min & 20:00min, it's really great how you explained it, that's so typical Sigma INFJ-A, I see myself in that too & it feels right to delimit myself in this way.
"Kindness is only for people who deserve it."
As a 40 INFJ-T male (diagnosed separate ways and time) I can say this. First there's two types of INFJ: A and T. Second: I'm like Jean Grey in X-Men. If ego is part of your authenticity like Cyclops or Wolverine I respect that can love that. But if a narcissist plays games well... I'm Dark Phoenix: I'm not stopping until that narcissist is broken at the atomic level. I don't apologize, don't feel ashamed, and don't feel guilty. I'm a Sigma: I'm not different for the sake of being different. I'm authentic with me and with others.
It doesn’t feel good to us. I just had to shut down someone’s ego. It hurt my heart. 💔
There is a small psychological distance, because our true shine intimidates people and who we are on the surface already intimidates people. We don't want to trigger people, with our capabilities. We have to psychologically disconnect from you a bit, and trust you with little things about us before showing you the bigger picture to who we fully are. We don't pretend, we test the waters and observe for changes. People aren't aware of your small, efforts. Which is why they don't get the privilege, to know the full us because we test your gratitude to your entitlement
Excellently stated! Fellow INFJ here so I completely know what you're talking about.
I thought I could never be coined but now I understand the nuances of these personalities and this one has me down to a TEA. I did not understand before. Also, I appreciate this video because I always wondered why I do this: I hurt people when I get tired of their bs. I know I destroy their egos. I feel like I have to as well in some crazy way for them to "grow" and see things differently. My ego destroying words have been an issue with my mom, sisters, and lots of other people. And then I feel bad afterwards especially when my mom criticizes me like why do you always have to say these things to people? And I always wondered and felt like something was wrong with me and that I'm a horrible person but you described it perfectly. I never even thought it was part of my "personality". I thought it was a flaw I tried to get rid of. But for anyone wondering, I also have people in my life who can handle the way I talk and actually love it. They call me honest and legitimate. I appreciate the people who can see me for me and appreciate me the way I am. Thank you for this video because it feels like it validates a part of me I hated.
Yes. People who love it, can handle it and others who don't, want us to diminish ourselves: to play small.
This really explains my behaviour so perfectly!!! I couldnt understand why I would try to not step on other people's shoes...thank you for your explanation! so so much!!
I found the best way to shut some one up is to go Harper Valley PTA on them telling them what their faults are.
This thing about going into hermit mode and doing some readjusting and baking changes sounds familiar to me.
I like what you said about letting go of façades, and forgetting "the box" by stepping out of it. We definitely need to create joy for ourselves. This is how it should be. We need to make our own. It took me a while but it was worth it to learn that to create my joy, I had to look to myself and not wonder what everyone else was doing to be happy. The void has to be filled "me," not "them."
I like the way you showed how we can actually get addicted to creating joy in our lives - and that it happens naturally. However it was important that you pointed out that it comes from repetition. Nothing replaces finding a good way to do things and repeating it until it comes more flowing.
Actually , I go into hermit mode every once in awhile, although it's not as strong as when I did it for the first time. In fact, I just did it a short time ago and it didn't take long to find myself reviewing and recommitting myself to doing something I'd done a long time ago but had gotten rusty. But rebuilding the habit didn't take as long as acquiring it in the first place. It can be done
Super video.
As I said you don't have to let people walk on you... You can still shine but you don't need to break them
0:27 and I am the most kind-hearted person but I will not let anyone else dim my shine. But I just do that by being mean not by bringing anyone else down or tearing anyone down. My light is contagious. I change people. Even narcissists. And what I'm about to say isn't about me trying to say I'm better. I have just learned.. through suffering
WOW ❤ cannot resonate more. U wrap it perfectly! Gonna hold to this a lifetime; “use ur energy to thrive, not to survive”
You will get along with those you see yourself equal to, in the absence of your ego.
A lot of times when I have been an "ego destroyer," it's been unintentional on my part. On two different occasions, this happened when I started on the job actually able to carry it out fairly competently without much experience because it involved some things that came easy to me. I think that my "independence" was a threat to some of my more experienced coworkers. If only they had known how much more I needed to learn and would have been happy to learn from them! 🙂
At that time, I knew I was an INFJ but that was in the pre-internet days and I didn't know a lot of what I now know.
So this video explained a lot. I remembered several other problems I'd had when I didn't know the things that you mentioned here. Later on I began to learn some techniques to better my communication with people. As it turns out, a lot of what I learned paralleled what you describe here.
So this one is worth reviewing a lot. Things have improved for me quite a bit over the years, but as I listen to this I realize this can be another factor in improving even more.
I’m learning. I protected myself. I realized I’ve come along way baby!!! 🎉🎉🎉
I just recently realized everything and the power of INFJ just like what you said in the video. And hell yeah...now it's my time 💪😊
It's called setting boundaries
No matter how you turn it we already are in a mastermind group but we chose our own.
I used to gain weight to make myself less attractive, because women would treat me terribly... bully me, etc. When I gained weight, they would be nicer to me. Now that I'm older and there are risks involved with the extra weight, I'm like f that. I'm going to lose the weight and look my best - and I had exactly the same view you said - that it's their insecurity, not mine. I feel like I wasted so many years trying to make myself unattractive for other women to accept me. If you don't like me for me, then you're not the right person in my life. It's time to shine!
I promise. Ppl keep pressing me and beg for a lesson. Let's play it, so i can win and we can BE DONE with this already 😅
I can instantly spot a fake person right away, and I understand body language very well so I can see when their body is speaking differently than their words. It's quite interesting to learn how to body language
So relevant today just been explaining this to my mum. I hate taking pleasure from it occasionally as well
All facts! 👍🏼🔥👍🏼
Been a while, but I hope you’ve been doing well my amazing friend! 🙂🌹❤️
On the authenticity part wenzes, i try to be "me" when interacting with girls i like and all i get is the "u r too good to be true" slam. How the hell r u supposed to behave then when being honest is "too good to be true"😞 Jesus Christ, being INFJ male is hardest i tell u fam.
Thisssss
May be they just don't deserve you.Many trauma bonded women like bad boys.Find someone who like good boys?
@@riyajacob2909 thanks Riya♥️
They cannot match your honesty, that's why they made the comment. Maybe they are used to playing the game, including those around them, which mostly based on lies. It is similar to people who are very above average in looks, the knockouts of society. People simply do not know how to handle themselves whenever someone has a standout quality. How they react is another matter.
Be patient my friend, one day you will meet the right person !!! Trust me, always be your self !! 🙂
❤ You speak about “INFJ” like you know me personnaly ! That is incredible ! Thank you for all your podcasts !
We can only walk on eggshells before it’s time to make an omelette or house that saying go be nice until it’s time not to be nice for me. My fuse is a little shorter than most INFJ‘s my innocence when it comes to the wicked ways of the world Was taken at an early age and with this personality plays a big role like everything in life. It’s a test sometimes you get an a sometimes you get an F one things for sure we don’t quit we don’t compromise, and we’re always striving for the greater good of all, and yet nobody stands beside us rather they get in the way the struggle between good and evil never stops birds of a feather. It’s time to flock together. The planet is coming apart at the seams good people need to organize and find a way to take care of each other, something tells me a tribal lifestyle is it far off just saying
Because I don't see that somebody that is let go of their ego in this program. You are very caught up in your appearance. And it says a lot about your ego. And I actually have a degree in psychology well... Three collective credits short. I can diagnose my psychologist. I can see that they don't even know how to heal. I could diagnose them. And every diagnosis that I ever ever had I gave myself before they gave it to me. Because I have this gift
Born through pain
What’s truly fascinating in this world is seeing how those who presume they can judge others hold up under such judgment themselves. So often they are incapable of grasping the difference between their own flawed opinions, and objective measures. I know one such person all too well. She will not hesitate to provide her unrequested opinion on anyone, proudly stating she has “no filter”, yet when called out on the bad behavior she exhibits when drunk she storm out of the room shrieking “I will not be judged”.
Best channel ever, Wenzes! ❤️
Thank you babe, I just went through this. Destroyed my partner, now she’s a narcissist 🤔 I’ll keep my kind and steady hand available. I warned them as many times as I could. And finally I burst from my old self, ready for and knowing how to pursue happiness.
Thanks for this🙏 I realllly needed this affirmation today!!!
Is a choice not a pretense once you do it. A brave choice that gets easier with every practice until natural.
See there's a difference between being a threat.. is their insecurities
And being a threat to breaking them
I am so thankful I found you. Thank you for sharing your brilliance!!! You are changing my life in such a wonderful way.❤
wish I could give more thumbs up. Thanks, Wenzes! 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Had to cut off some of my closest friends because of these ego games, hurts so much maybe one day I will go back
She knows me so well. This is insanely accurate 😳
My mind has been blown in the first 3 minutes
What a beautiful woman you are Wenzes- inside and out. Thank you for all the time, energy and love that you put into your videos and in helping me embrace, understand and thrive being an INFJ personality.
Thank you. I was just laying here and listening with my eyes closed and wow all the memories that flooded back as you spoke. Yea😡 I really dimmed my light! I even put up with date this guy wear this dress. Yea😠 everything to keep me down to keep my light dim. I never was stupid and I kowtow too many time and just excepted it. God! What a fool I’ve been and to realize this so many years later. No they had no idea I was an infj this is something I just discovered a few years ago. I’m so mad. Thank you for this. I need another episode like this one of what to do now that I’ve discovered what happened to me. I’m getting that studio! I’m moving to another state and starting a new life and business!!
11:01 I once said was to someone who was taking advantage of me was, "If you're not going to help yourself, I'll watch you drown."
Wow, one of the most resonating video's Wenzes!
Yes they can and isn't subconscious. We know what it is. They can talk. They just won't. You can as long as want face consequences and you won't die. Trust.
Been a very long week so far. Dealing with allot of egos at work that cant cope with the reality they live outside of our workspace and choose to project that insecurity while in my presence. I'm beginning to struggle to hold back that I'm capable of being the villain and just cant understand how you endure ,making out the patterns most people fall into. Thank you for the content and giving me the opportunity to rationalize what I've been feeling!
Show them something different be the light be something they have never seen before
Thank you Wenzes.
Thank you I have learned so much about myself from your videos
Thanks for all you do! 🖤
Thank you for good advice, all you have to say is right, from now on i will adjust my self, to do the things you said, once again thanks i really admire your good mindset
I'm liking this already thanks 👍😊
Watch Coach Carter. There's a scene in that movie
When they're talking about being the light
And it's our light that enables them
. To become the light themselves.
I love you for making me feel understood
Thank you for this, it verbalised situations that I have been pondering and had confusion on and the conclusions on how I was going to deal with it. You have confirmed that my decisions are on point! Very grateful as I will proceed more confidently now🙂
Please don’t go anywhere your great
Excellent description and very, very relatable.
This is probably why I don't get along with my brother because he can't get away with the things I call him out on
Nice points and breakdown as always!💜🎯
Yeah Wen, your words are the words of my heart.
Thank you Wenzes another great video/blog. You’re spot on again! Amazing!
Never something want….., until we do
Ooh could this be why my friendships with other women never worked out. I always felt I have to shrink myself to not make them intimidated. But the more my real self emerged the more they were distanced and hostile.
Thanks Love your videos ❤
Thank you for this message. I’ve learned a lot✌🏾
Yes...I agreed...if I want I can..
10:24 we are not supposed to step up we are supposed to pull others up