I work at the place, where is often lots of people, who need my help. If one of the colleges messes with me, I just stop paying attention to that jerk and start working only with other colleges. "You need me? I am busy with others, - come tomorrow... or in a week... or never." They learn very fast not to be nasty to me.
I relate to the unexpected support - when I had to take on a landlord over a mold issue, his handymen who were afraid of him because he was a retired cop were silently cheering me on. A couple of corrupt megalomaniac bosses definitely regret messing with me and their businesses folded when I left (more due to their own mismanagement, but my complaints to regulatory agencies in the interest of the public good probably contributed to their demise).
When I worked at a previous job, I had a whiff of narcissism. In fact, the CEO was a raging sociopath. On our Christmas party (yes party), he made the entire company come up to an awkward city, rented out a room & spent 8 hours (day 1) just talking about how great he was. When the "party" started, he said that everyone had to be back at the room, the next morning, at 8:30am... oh, he lived in said city. He talked about himself for a further 9 hours. Everyone broke up at 6pm & had to travel 4 hours to get home. Oh, it was on Tuesday too so had to be up for work, next day, at 9am. Everyone was pissed. Cut to a month later &he invites my team to an open office. He wants us to go against him in a "customer from hell" exercise. I opted to go first but he deliberately chose a colleague of mine. He proceeded to make him look stupid in front of the whole team. I felt so bad & angry so went next. I remember saying "I'm a masochist". As soon as he started, I mirrored him back &actually exposed how little he knows about our customers and made him look so small. I remember the fear in his face. After, the room was silent &he was much nicer to the rest. He left, shortly, after. I then went through a messy divorce & his flying monkeys came in. My performance nose dived at an unrealistic amount & it was clear they were gunning for me. They made up a situation to get me on a disciplinary with my biggest account. This was all just before Christmas. I stood my ground &completely shattered their lies. They couldn't fire me so they gave me a written warning. Straight after, they put me on a PIP and kept talking like I would be gone (after the 6 months) without me having any chance. As a result, there was a clause which said I could bring a witness so I choose the most senior member of my team who was horrified by the covert bullying I was subjected too. I hired a therapist & revealed I had social anxiety (before the abuse) & legal counsel said they were breaking the "Equality Act" as they were ignoring my condition & forcing me to see them at the office (to bully without proof). Once I revealed that, they made me sign an NDA (could have sued them) but didn't as there were good people who worked there. I lost my job & I'm 90% sure one of my bosses ended themselves, once their mask slip was exposed. Our main client lost their minds when they heard I left (without a trace), I was halfway building them an automatic system worth millions (and I took my workings out with me). Luckily, the NDA protected me so they couldn't say anything to me (about the sui*de to me) or I would sue. Do I care? Hell no. Narcissists can rot. Anyway, no one will care so have fun!
Two of the rules I live by. "You don't start no trouble, there won't be no trouble" and "I won't start it but I will finish it". I cannot stand a bully.
Wow....this bullying is a real no no for me...I can't stand bullies...especially if they do it to nice people...then the bad side of my INFJ comes out.....😡
on the other hand, victims of bullying often see INFJ as superhero, then they depend on INFJ. but INFJ wont lead them like a leader, but teach and train them to had their own selfconfidence and independence. I think INFJ is such a good mentor/ trainer
I think the INFJs learn to thrive later in life. Im 45 and been "surviving" from family and friend abandonment for 27 years but ive always had a good head on my shoulders and im in the process of learning to be more abundant; and just "live" a bit. I cant necessarily take credit for this as it is just how life presented itself, but I think, and i might have heard this on this channel before, that INFJs are kinda backwards like that in life.
I totally agree, It is kina frustrating , sad fact to accept but at the same time totally accepting this fact is freeing. Good luck with your journey 😊😊.
Agreed. I'm an INFJ and I'm 43. I've gotten more respect, appreciation, and even attention from women in the last three years than I did the first 40 years of life. I'm kind of like "Where was this all these years? I've had the same attitudes and been doing the same things since grade school." Now people look at me like the kindhearted brilliant eccentric. Growing up, I was the intelligent underachiever smartass who had problems with authority. Got into lots of trouble (and many verbal and physical beatings too) as a youth, especially growing up in a rural farming town. They never could break me and make me submit. And it drove them insane.
Because we are minimalist, conflict avoidant, focused on our goal, we play by universal rule of compassion for the weak and acceptance of the strong. Deep down though, we know who and what we should stick to.
The reason I don't fall in line as an INFJ is that I don't recognize a human hierarchy as being valid. Even in the military, where the hierarchy is clear, I only recognized it in order to play the game and that it is somewhat necessary in a military organization.
BRO (but then a girl) ?? U serious?? PEOPLE DON`T LIKE to hear THE TRUTH about themselves unless u are some twisted narcissistic sociopath Don`t watch to much NETFLIX or television👌
@@Bella-jw1xuBeing wrong genuinely hurts people. Especially if they feel they have to be right to provide for their family. Trust me, I get your struggle but it took me understanding what was behind the “monster” and it’s usually that. Me? I LOVE being proved wrong by someone. If they explain how and why, even better because I’ll adopt it. Most people don’t view being told you’re wrong as something to be thankful for. If you’re here, you probably don’t mind either… and it’s why you’ve probably willingly learned many things I was wrong not to understand this sooner. Being wrong definitely hurts many people and I’ve been kinda insensitive or lackadaisical about dropping a very casual “well, this is the right or better way”
I may look and behave kindly and peaceful, I am. I may be striking looking, but if someone wants to start throwing their weight around, either subtly or aggressively, I am capable of being a tough nut! I am Australian, female, naturally very attractive, tall, 68 year old artist with a high IQ. There’s not much I cannot do. But we who have been INFJ’s all our long lives know that we can endure beyond anyone the worst treatment (narcissist husband’s tricks) no matter how much it hurts. But push us, keep lying, or get in our face, and then the power we hold comes your way big time! I love me! I have never met anyone who comes close to my intellect, compassion, or strength. A dear family friend, she’s a doctor, told me when I was around 30: I don’t have your level of compassion. INFJ’s rock!
I think you're my soul sister. I'm 70, artist, narc husband who is now having a breakdown because i won't play his games anymore. Pity we're at opposite sides of the planet.
Yeah and the bully is absolutely terrified when they are alone by an infj, that's why they have to make up lies to others to recruit against the infj. At least I noticed that.
I will allow a person to offend or attack me for a long time, bc I know once I hit back, it will be over for them, and I'll end up feeling sorry for THEM in the end (always happens).
Likewise, and it’s usually well planned inside my head before it happens incase something doesn’t go according to the plan - like a flow chart of which degree of hurt is required for the lesson to be effective, depending on their intentional responses. Then the forgiveness on my end that leaves me in doubt whether they now hold a threatening grudge.
This is so spot on! What I don’t get is why people continue to have this one sided competition with the INFJ? I am not a competitive person by nature. I don’t think anyone has regretted messing with me to my face. Most of them are not the types to truly admit any wrongdoing, so it probably something they keep to themselves.
Interestingly, I feel ppl seem to get "offended" because of our hyperindependence. Things they typically cannot do without help from others, we can do naturally alone. They see this as an attack to their ability and think we're arrogant because of it without saying a peep. Side note...would it be possible to see a vid on toxic/ narcissistic mothers and INFJs? Specifically daughters? Pleeaaasseee lol
Fellow INFJ who had both parents as Narcissistic People pleasers to their livelihoods as well. Needless to say I don't talk to either of them much at this point in life to preserve sanity 🙏🏿 ♥️
A narcissist I dealed with regrets it and actually their last resort is that I am a witch. Seriously!! And ppl going along with it, in 2023! Makes me think about INFJ's and the middle ages.
bwahaha - i had a narcissistic say something similar. They convinced themself & others that they were an empath. And since they couldn't 'get to me' I must have been supernaturally blocking 😂 Its called boundaries, and when an INFJ utilizes them we are a force to be reckoned with.
Me me. I am handling 3 heavy headed narcs in the family. 3 freaking learnt narc doctors who think they are Gods. I am handling them. lol. INFJs are god of gods.
Messing with an INFJ is bad enough. When the INFJ is also a Heyoka Empath all bets are off. Before the instigator can even realize what they’ve done it’s too late. The retribution is already there.
By the time you address the bad behavior there actions have become exposed including there intentions. They know they deserve to be punished and there staring in the face of Karma. Follow the golden rule. Forgiveness is a blessing.
I learned half a century ago that I am an INFJ. If you want a response from me, if you push me enough, you will get a response from me, and I promise you, you will regret pushing me, and you will never push me again. I will not touch you. I will not raise my voice. And you will never push me again. And if you have any sense at all, you will understand why I choose to remain quiet when I choose to remain quiet. Accurate information in this video. I hope people will learn from this video. Thank you.
I am just learning - at 61 - about being INFJ. This right here - omg - this. I do not fall in line - never had - and couldn’t put my finger on it till you described it in this video - THANK YOU!!
This is me to a T! If I have to stand against the whole world...I will to be true to myself...no problem! I've been alone most of my life...outcast...blacksheep...different and wouldn't have it any other way! Thank you for these videos and your work...blessings to you!...😇
It's really interesting that this INFJ-persona is something I resonate with at some mysterious level. Well, not really mysterious anymore. I think that my true personality has been suppressed by my environment pretty much all my life, and now, in my 30s, I'm finally finding some answers to who I am, that resonates with me and makes sense to me.
LUCEO NON URO (its our motto) translation: I SHINE, NOT BURN. heat us up, beat us down, & through the process we are tempered, strong, and shining 💪🏼 ⚔️
I started watching these videos because although I’ve left so many people in my dust, it’s my family who always stands in the way. Very abusive, sociopathic/psychopathic family. They come for me when I’m thriving. I ask nothing of them and truly wish I could fake my own death. They’ve held me hostage at certain points in my life. Because cruelty & violence are respected within my family culture, just the way I live my life sets them off. I don’t let them bully people. I don’t conform or allow their darkness inside my heart and for this, they call me weak and docile. Yet they are the followers. It’s like being born into an evil cult. I have had to separate myself now in my 40s from them all, including both parents & my only brother. They only take. This means I’m left with only my wife & step-daughter. But as excruciating as it is not to have real family, I’m not one to back out once I’ve made up my mind. Trying to find a way to learn to love myself in a gentler way. They’ve done a number on my self-worth. But as long as I’m free from them, it’s worth it for me.
Keep going and remain who you have always been. Fight the urge to go back into a lifestyle that has caused you so much harm. Remind yourself of this each time the guilt of your conditioning pops up. Slowly do things that you were scared to do around your family. It will take time but before you know will no longer think of them.
I once sat in the hole in a jail once for 9 months. And I was actually amazed at the amount of people who came and spent even from an hour or days and literally would lose there minds and I couldn't understand why they just couldn't keep themselves together. I sat there the entire time and was completely unbothered. I was forced to be in there so I could not use the phone. Still learned sign language and using the windows continued to have people I've met to use the phone for me and we signed each other and so my stay was prolonged until they finally said fk it clearly we can't stop you. But that experience taught and showed me how much I could endure and how little others actually can. Amazing. 💯
One day.. They brought in a new person. I wasn't pleased.. As I liked the quiet more.. The 2 6x8 cells were like a 45° angle connected and the only access to anything outside of ur small box of a room was a 4x4 window on the door.. I'll never forget him.. He was what most would say was attractive. 6'2, 220 black hair white olive complexion. And the first night he sang.. He sang one song all night long.. I liked this although I'd never heard it before.. I liked it. "They took away my designer jeans.. And issued me Marine Core greens.. I'm gonna be a GIJoe, they made me leave my beauty queen.. And trade her for an M16.. I'm gonna be a GIJoe.." Tbh, I wished I could find this whole Cadence as it's so epic.. But that's about all I remember.. Day 2. All seems well all day.. Now, mind you this is a actual currently year 6 Marine.. And around 5ish this 2nd day evening.. It starts.. 🤦 And here we go.. 🃏 First were the muffled cries and sounds.. Then about 25, 35 mins into that come the screams and the banging.. And he was screaming.. 🤦 "Momma.. Get me my momma, I can't do this, I can't I have to get out of this room get me my MOMMA MOMMA GET MY MOMMA.." bang.. Bang.. BANG. And I'm like, heyy.. Bruh.. You okay what's up.. Man, you know they can't get your Momma right.. Like what's up? Ttm. What else we got to do!? "Momma!! MOMMA!!" bang.. Bang.. BANG!! BRUH!? Come on bruh.. You gotta calm yourself down.. Woosaa. "Nemo, I can't do this.. I been to Iraq and this is actual torture.. This is a nightmare.." The voice inside whispers.. Fugin what!? 🤔 You.. Fr.. Being so fr rn too.. 🤦 And then comes the Guards.. Heyy?!? Wtf is the gd problem!? Who tf is making all the gd noise.. Stfu!! Or we gonna give you some real problems.. And he starts screaming.. I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS I CAN'T GET MY MOMMA I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.. Click. Click. Errrrk.. Awe.. Hell.. You done fkd up now.. They opening your door.. And as soon as that door started to open you hear BAM.. And there he goes into the 4x4 square outside the door.. Both CO's had to literally back into the hallway to avoid him and the giant metal door that went swinging outwards.. And he lands in the floor and proceeds to lift his head up and SMASH.. SMASH.. SMASSHHH!!? His face over and over into to concrete flood.. Until blood was literally everywhere.. One CO yells out.. Nemo, what you done did to him.. Man, don't play with me.. You know I be chilling.. I tried talk to him.. He wasn't having it.. SMASSHHH!!? He gonna kill himself, he keep on damn.. Fk it. Fkn wtf ever.. Heyy get up and come on we gonna take you to medical damn.. And then we will put you in a new block.. NEMO, You wanna clean all this up.. Fk that idgaf hecks fugh no.. I ain't helping y'all do yall job!? Less you wanna give me them keys!? You ain't getting these keys. And alright we get somebody else come do it.. And away the 3 of them went.. And meanwhile that voice starts at 227mph.. Did that really just.. Did he really just.. No way I'm actually awake rn.. I must be asleep and this is some warped dream.. This Iraq Vet.. This Enlisted Marine.. Just broke half his face with a concrete floor.. Because he had been in a box staring at a wall for all of what 36 maybe 38 hours.. You couldn't handle 2 days?? Mind Blown.. 210+ days I've been chilling right here and never once made a sound.. Like what they actually training these dudes.. Why isn't he mentally strong enough to keep himself together after not even 2 days. Wow. Seriously. Wow. //_¢
Yup. I’m immune to manipulative tactics. They don’t work on me anymore as an adult. Because those grimy tactics have been so played out in my life that they’ve now become underwhelming, to say the least. Been there. Done that. Im past that. I can see right through the mask. So it doesn’t affect me when someone attempts to make me feel minuscule. I’ve been glowered, ridiculed, demeaned… you name it. Got sh*t on, p*ssed on, fvcked with… pointed at by lesser men. When you consider the source, it’s kinda pitiful. All I can say as an INFJ who has finally stepped into their power… it’s a new life in place of old life. Unscarred by trials. It’s a new level of confidence and personal power. I’ll never surrender my dignity again. I’ll never lose as long as I’m dedicated to honoring myself.
So true, a friend of mine violated my boundaries in a big way three years ago this Christmas, she got the door slam, I didn't need to say a word, simply closed the door and haven't acknowledged her since in spite of her tears, she just went too far.
I would love for you to share how we can effectively prevent/proactively respond to coworkers stealing our work and/or accomplishments. I feel like this happens to INFJ’s more than anyone.
Hold them accountable every time and report it with evidence. I did that to my narc manager who went beyond harassment and paid a huge price for it. I fond out he was trying to get rid of all the originals due to change in contract and forced them to leave. What he didn't know is that I was already planning to leave but decided to give him a taste of hi own medicine and he cost the company thousands of pounds😁 I also realised not to work so hard for others but do my own thing and earn a lot more. As INFJs mature then normally majority ends the same and no more giving our powers away for sake of the undeserving. Good luck. 🙏
Document everything. Don’t give out your ideas until you have a plan to track thst these ideas were yours. Always watch out for those who steal your ideas and if you get a bad feeling trust it. Don’t give out any ideas without it emailing it to others first so you can always show you had idea first. In those emails outline how “you had an idea” That only way I found to be protected from this phenomenon We all struggle with this and you will figure
It has happened to me in University, when I was younger. One spoilt nasty gal has stolen my project. I stopped socializing to her without any explanation. She tried to reach out to me several times, but I told everybody, including the relatives, that she was a thief, and I would not talk to her. When I saw her many years after, I pretended not to know her. Some people don't deserve second chance, because she has been nasty to many other people too. Not even mentioning seducing other girls boyfriends just for fun of destroying the stable couples. Avoid bad people, - they will never change.
@@user-oj5bw7sl8p she probably tried to get in contact to get some more good ideas and get your positive infj energy; screw people like her and I am glad u broke away
I feel you. I have had people steal from me. You have to get on the offensive/stand up to them (try to get an audience when you do it) and/or get away from them.
This speaks my language all day long! It never ceases to amaze me how we are so often viewed by casual observers as weak, because we rarely -if ever- take the bait. How wrong can they be? Oh! How very wrong, indeed! I could write an entire book on how many times I made people regret messing with me. It NEVER works out the way they envision, bet!
I find I'll be patient long past immediate discomfort. Toxic people eventually put themselves into a position where they can be dropped with only a small intervention, sometimes neutral even. It blows me away that they never see it coming because I see my reaction waiting so loudly in me.
I can’t stop laughing you were so spot on my present situation. These people thought they would provoke me in a manner that would give them exactly what they wanted. They have no idea who they messed with. I might be alone, but I have the strength of 100 of these people, simple minded people don’t stand a chance there’s nothing more than a small pond when it comes to how deep their water runs and for folks like us it’s the Mariana trench when it comes to depth, but I don’t have to tell you thank you again for everything, young lady, you give me confidence that this personality will serve me it is hurt me in the past but now that I have a better understanding it’s like a super power people don’t get it and most INFJ’s get hung up on how special we are. There’s nothing special about it if you don’t use it, you lose it most don’t understand. Keep up the great work strength in Numbers.
I can see when I make a coworker feel stupid, I usually feel bad and give them compliments…however if they start trying to make me feel bad, i comeback at them and tell them I’m sorry but ur lashing out because u feel something bad about yourself…that shuts them up,every time😅😅
Funny story…a boss once publicly humiliated me in retaliation for not doing something inappropriate that I refused to do. Long story short, he will be working the rest of his life, never able to retire.
I've always liked not playing by the rules, but I always felt alone in that, even around others who defied the rules. Those people were rebellious. I was just trying to be myself.
I, like you, bad teeth. Otherwise, great looking, super smart, bookish, etc... I'm proud of you for your courage. I was bullied a lot and ostracized for both my teeth, which I didn't realize was causing me a lot of pain, and bad treatment from family was rotting inside me. I had to help myself from my inner pain. Your heart is beautiful and I appreciate you for who you are. From all these things, I became a great intellectual, artist and more... certainly, I have struggled at times because I stand up for myself-- at some points, I did not articulate it so well (vengeance instead of more appropriate methods), but I don't allow anyone to bully me or others. Be well. Biggest hugs.
People do show up and offer me moral support, but they dont offer the kind of help i really need. Actually thry refuse and dismiss me. Everyone thinks that validation is the key to everything, but its just not. I need real tangible physical and logistical support at times, but i always get mirrored back to me "You're strong and dont need help, you can do this alone." And honestly im so sick and tired of that attitude. I need help too, thats why im asking for it! Im experimenting with what will happen if i keep pushing for better more customized support. Has anyone had experience receiving the actual help they need? The moral support is great, but i need people who are willing to meet me where i actually am and offer me something real.
My husband is an INTJ and he offers me exactly what you said you needed. He's not a pretty-word kind of guy, he just offers logical problem-solving answers.
Hit them where it hurts. Once again I can’t stop laughing. My live videos have kept me alive and I don’t believe that’s an exaggeration. Given my present situation you hurt him with the truth but you have to prove it I got to ask have you ever done a video on a broken INFJ? What happens when you break an INFJ as a child, I have a very unique perspective on this personality. Most of the people I’ve seen online with this personality are very soft like I used to be when I was a child, if you get wounded with this personality when you’re a child, it changes the dynamics in the personality, but it doesn’t change who you are. It affects the way your personality exhibits itself once again thank you very much.
I really appreciate your videos. Thank you! I have left a pile of bullies hurting. One man sued me for a million dollars, it was a slander case. He lied. He lost and had to pay me and my attorney fees. He died soon after of colon cancer. Another guy had a stroke after messing with me. One bully told me to suck his dk in the surf. I chased him out of the water and sent him running down the beach. It was a heavy surf spot with localism. He was so humiliated. I was laughing paddling back out. All of the guys looked shocked. My dad who raped me, beat me, and destroyed my youth ended up shooting himself in his face. He couldn't face what he had done. Pun intended. These are just a few of my stories. The strange thing is I'm a peaceful INFJ who minds my own business. God is everything to me. But the bullying by others is relentless. I'm in my 60s and have lived honestly and most of the bullys sunk themselves. It's a hard life. I see everything in everyone quickly.
I had a gf who cheated on me. She was planning on lying about her pregnancy. She got pregnant on purpose immediately after the break up to say it’s mine. She told her best friend about this plot. Well, her best friend reaches out and literally says “you’re too nice for me to let her do this to you but she got pregnant by some random guy and she’s planning on saying it’s yours.” A couple of months later, she told me about the baby but I immediately demanded a dna test after birth. She flipped on her stance and acted like I was crazy for thinking that. I never told her I was warned.
It is true in some way, I do know 2 historical icons in Japan, must be INFJ. One make the foundation of Japanese ancient art, who was the best of Tea Art. Another one was called "The best Japanese warrior", this one named Sanada Yukimura. Maybe you or anyone like, can check about the history. In some way I feel lucky born as INFJ in modern time.
@@jonathanlee8709 I guess, many geniuses in old days used to be INFJ, but could not be recognized as such due to the absence of the proper terminology. One notices lots of INFJ-features, while reading their biographies or even their own diaries.
I would love to know which ways work best on how to stop and prevent about being bullied at work, we as INFJ’s love harmony in every situation but sometimes it is being abused. It is very taxing 😢
We do have a breaking point- it's just NOT what they're expecting 😏 it will turn in our favor, that's how we survive this- and it's not our first option, but it's the best at that point🤔
I was a retail supervisor. We had a new manager appointed (I was passed over by the regional manager despite being more experienced and far more competent) First impression of him, lackadaisical and fake smile. I called out bullying to him by some other colleagues towards a couple of sales assistants. The manager and other supervisor spent 4 months plotting a mutiny against me ( I may have only been the supervisor but everybody knew I ran the place) I didn't physically hear any of their secret chats, but I picked up the vibe in the air I Go in one day, manager hits me with a surprise "investigation " which totally breached all procedures. He could not do the investigation. Total kangaroo court. Picture 2 men, 1 in front of me, one behind, blocking me in a narrow warehouse aisle full of tools. Under ordinary circumstances I would have calmly maintained absolute compliance to company policy. We may hate policies and hierarchybas INfJ's but we certainly know it inside out. Things did not go that way. There were many gulps of fear, I have had my right of entry removed from all 400+ stores nationwide and my former colleagues are in genuine fear for their personal safety. Apparently I was very intimidating. Best part is I didn't even threaten them physically or verbally. I think it was the maniacal laughter before the truth explosion that did it 🤷🏼♀️
As usual Wenzes is spot on. Knowing a hostile boss is deliberately trying to provoke a reaction. Watching him getting befuddled and frustrated when they don’t get it. “PRICELESS” 😂
Many people this year alone have tried to mess with me for no reason other than their own insecurities (they don't like being called out on that very much, I'll tell ya that). I can think of one individual who I'm sure is deeply regretting it, whether they admit it or not -- and I haven't even hit them where it REALLY hurts. They don't like the fact that I see them for who and what they really are when they've got everyone else fooled. If they're smart, they'll back off. People definitely underestimate me and then do NOT see it coming when I fight back. I know what you mean, though. It's mind-boggling getting targeted and attacked for seemingly no reason. :/
Once i said something that made my mom snap and ahe kept screaming You have demon in you, i rebuke you devil! While physically trying to attack me cuz i wouldnt break. So i had to back her ass up. Christmas eve eve i woke up to her calling the cops on me cuz i wouldnt answer her calls/texts while trying to pile food on my doorstep. The specifics are more crazy. We still dont talk, hasnt been any time to me but for her probably ages. Shes adult adhd and narcissistic.
This is interesting. All the jerks I've dealt with this year....all of them threatened to call the cops on me. I straight-up laughed every time because I can always see so quickly that it's a useless and empty threat (what, pray tell, could you possibly tell the cops what my crime is, exactly? 😂). Also because I've already called the cops on them first 🤣 People are silly. Recently, someone was telling me what the bad person was doing, and I laughed. He said, "It's about to get real UN-funny," and then proceeded to tell me what I already knew, hence why I was laughing. The kicker? I'd already told them that what he was telling me was going to happen! I honestly don't understand how people DON'T see these things.
It's not like we don't give the plenty of warnings. Sometimes we just tell the straight how things are going to work out if they carry on.... Just sails right over their empty heads 🤷🏼♀️
@@Rachel_M_ yes! It most certainly does! It can be frightening how dumb some people are, & a bittersweet reminder that we should have gratitude for our own difficult minds😉
True dat! I have spelled it our people in plain and simple English what I'm okay with and not okay with, and what will happen if they cross that boundary again. When the do, I follow through BIG time. It's interesting, like you said, how surprised they always are 🤔
This is something that would pop up in my work life every once in awhile. It never occured to me until after the fact however. I'm glad that I'm retired now so I no longer have this issue.
So I love listening to you and I went through a breakup with a narcissistic abusive relationship and she's what they call in covert narcissist or a victim narcissist and it was terrible and I find myself listening to you and calling you babe when I got to pause the phone I'll be back I got to get something done and then when I come back to the phone you're my virtual INFJ girlfriend
The gadget never ceases to amaze me. It’s been a little while young lady, but your titles always catch my attention just at the right time you can’t make it up and so very true or the wrong people to mess with. I haven’t started your video yet, but something tells me, you’re going to be speaking about honesty and justice. Something we can’t get away from I’ve tried it’s too strong you can’t walk away from injustice it’ll eat you alive.
There is a woman at work that has been trying to figure me out and tries to get a reaction out of me but I don't care enough about things to have a reaction but she found my open wound and now she pokes her finger in it daily for entertainment...so I am learning how to maneuver and deal with her approaches to my weak spot. We all have weak spots and we have to learn how to wall those weak spots up and hide them or just say hey I am a weirdo and i don't allow people at my house I am so sorry if you don't understand but that's just how I am. This woman keeps trying to send her kids to my house to help me with what ever issue I have and she knows I don't want them there so she said she was just going to drop them off and she laughed and had so much fun making me uncomfortable.
@@avanellehansen4525 yes I agree I just hate having to put my foot down when there never should be a reason to do so. If she wanted to be nice she could of offered and left it with that but she knew I had a problem with it so she keeps pushing it every chance she gets. I will eventually have to e direct and firm but she is also my boss so it makes it more of a maneuver to duck and dive and hope she eventually tires of the game she is playing.
Wenzes, First thank you from my Heart and Soul, for guiding and helping me getting Clarity on being an INFJ. I am eternally grateful - One thing I have LEARNED in my life experience is this: Other human beings need to be told this, in my humble opinion: Do not take my KINDNESS as a WEAKNESS Please! Much Love Kenneth Damm
You could use some internal healing. Seek The Most High God and He can and will heal your wounds completely from the inside out so you can soar being your utmost best version of yourself. Shalom. 🙏
💯 XD "it's something u shouldn't have done in the first place" pro tip, valid. Thanks for the tips, so helpful as always! (The infj doesn't care. We see the fools game, and don't feel any need to play it.)
Isn't the purpose of individual life to find out who you are? It takes a lifetime to know one's Self. Telling people who you are or are not gives people license not to do their own work. Yes, I fit the profile spoken about but I've lived a life earning my self knowledge. Having said that the discussion here is a very good one and supportive of the experiences I have lived through. I agree, it takes a lot to push me into a corner, I will demand they move aside or I will take steps despite how uncomfortable I am with the challenges I would face using my good reputation to cancel 'yours'.
I feel so good about finding your channel, finally feeling validated and relieved that i dont have to think and feel like im the only one who goes through through all of these things, i can relate to absolutely everything that u talk about ,every scenario , every frustration at thinking "maybe they've been right all along" thinking. No they haven't been at all!😂. Still hurts😢but somehow i dont break😅😅 and get in line with their values, beliefs or ways of being.😊
It's true, we really aren't trying to cause trouble. But my experience with these 5 points were: ...... 1. The INFJ won't fall in line. My experience with this started even in elementary school when I refused to obey the wishes of the gal who thought she was the queen bee of the class. I usually didn't argue with her, but just went on and did my own thing anyway. 2. The INFJ makes you look weak. I can continue to do my own thing for quite a while and still not bend to my critic's pressure. But when I have had enough and really say so, it often shocks people and yes, sometimes it does make them feel dumb. 3. The INFJ will hit where it hurts. This could very well be because we're sensitive and we can often spot where our critic is weak. Especially tempting is to do this is when our critic is getting after us for faults that he or she has, as well. 4. The INFJ will rally unexpected support. I've been pleasantly surprised at some of the emotional support I've gotten . But along with this is factual stuff from my own reading and information gathering, which I have no trouble telling my critic comes from authors who know more than they do. 5. The INFJ will become stronger. Without a doubt. As we practice taking care of ourselves we do get better at it. I don't have nearly as much trouble with people giving me a bad time as I did when I was younger. Believe me, what you're saying in this video rings true.
All I have to say is we do not belong on this planet and everyone including parents and family has abandoned me and doesn't want anything to do with me and think and say I am the problem but I really think they all know that I can see right through them and can read people like a book, but nobody cares that we INFJ's care more about others and will go without just to help them ,but once they do see this side of me then the narcissistic in most people try to get over on me but beware I will always know in advance what is going on before anything happens and hope that I am having a good day....................
What have some of the situations been when people regretted having messed with you?
❤💯
I work at the place, where is often lots of people, who need my help. If one of the colleges messes with me, I just stop paying attention to that jerk and start working only with other colleges. "You need me? I am busy with others, - come tomorrow... or in a week... or never." They learn very fast not to be nasty to me.
i had a woman try me. She hasn't stopped rebranding since I ate her lunch 😏
I relate to the unexpected support - when I had to take on a landlord over a mold issue, his handymen who were afraid of him because he was a retired cop were silently cheering me on. A couple of corrupt megalomaniac bosses definitely regret messing with me and their businesses folded when I left (more due to their own mismanagement, but my complaints to regulatory agencies in the interest of the public good probably contributed to their demise).
When I worked at a previous job, I had a whiff of narcissism. In fact, the CEO was a raging sociopath. On our Christmas party (yes party), he made the entire company come up to an awkward city, rented out a room & spent 8 hours (day 1) just talking about how great he was.
When the "party" started, he said that everyone had to be back at the room, the next morning, at 8:30am... oh, he lived in said city. He talked about himself for a further 9 hours. Everyone broke up at 6pm & had to travel 4 hours to get home. Oh, it was on Tuesday too so had to be up for work, next day, at 9am.
Everyone was pissed.
Cut to a month later &he invites my team to an open office. He wants us to go against him in a "customer from hell" exercise. I opted to go first but he deliberately chose a colleague of mine. He proceeded to make him look stupid in front of the whole team.
I felt so bad & angry so went next. I remember saying "I'm a masochist". As soon as he started, I mirrored him back &actually exposed how little he knows about our customers and made him look so small. I remember the fear in his face.
After, the room was silent &he was much nicer to the rest. He left, shortly, after.
I then went through a messy divorce & his flying monkeys came in. My performance nose dived at an unrealistic amount & it was clear they were gunning for me.
They made up a situation to get me on a disciplinary with my biggest account. This was all just before Christmas. I stood my ground &completely shattered their lies.
They couldn't fire me so they gave me a written warning.
Straight after, they put me on a PIP and kept talking like I would be gone (after the 6 months) without me having any chance.
As a result, there was a clause which said I could bring a witness so I choose the most senior member of my team who was horrified by the covert bullying I was subjected too.
I hired a therapist & revealed I had social anxiety (before the abuse) & legal counsel said they were breaking the "Equality Act" as they were ignoring my condition & forcing me to see them at the office (to bully without proof).
Once I revealed that, they made me sign an NDA (could have sued them) but didn't as there were good people who worked there.
I lost my job & I'm 90% sure one of my bosses ended themselves, once their mask slip was exposed.
Our main client lost their minds when they heard I left (without a trace), I was halfway building them an automatic system worth millions (and I took my workings out with me).
Luckily, the NDA protected me so they couldn't say anything to me (about the sui*de to me) or I would sue.
Do I care? Hell no.
Narcissists can rot.
Anyway, no one will care so have fun!
Two of the rules I live by. "You don't start no trouble, there won't be no trouble" and "I won't start it but I will finish it". I cannot stand a bully.
I love that. I am the same way. I don’t look for trouble or treat anyone badly, but if my kindness is mistaken for weakness, now YOU have a problem. 👍
The 6 p's helped me organise the chaos in my house.
Prior
Preparation
Prevents
Piss
Poor
Production
@@cubiusblockus3973I’m gonna adopt 4 Ps
Prior
Preparation
Promotes
Production
Exactly what i have always said
Wow....this bullying is a real no no for me...I can't stand bullies...especially if they do it to nice people...then the bad side of my INFJ comes out.....😡
on the other hand, victims of bullying often see INFJ as superhero, then they depend on INFJ. but INFJ wont lead them like a leader, but teach and train them to had their own selfconfidence and independence. I think INFJ is such a good mentor/ trainer
That's why we're known as the councillor/the Advocate, we're here to help other people, in my opinion mate. 🙏
I think the INFJs learn to thrive later in life. Im 45 and been "surviving" from family and friend abandonment for 27 years but ive always had a good head on my shoulders and im in the process of learning to be more abundant; and just "live" a bit. I cant necessarily take credit for this as it is just how life presented itself, but I think, and i might have heard this on this channel before, that INFJs are kinda backwards like that in life.
I thought I wrote this post...my mom just read it as well...so many of us feel this way... Thank you for your videos and supportive community. 🥰🤗
Yeah, kind of lighter in later life. I know I am. 😂
I totally agree, It is kina frustrating , sad fact to accept but at the same time totally accepting this fact is freeing. Good luck with your journey 😊😊.
Agreed. I'm an INFJ and I'm 43. I've gotten more respect, appreciation, and even attention from women in the last three years than I did the first 40 years of life. I'm kind of like "Where was this all these years? I've had the same attitudes and been doing the same things since grade school." Now people look at me like the kindhearted brilliant eccentric. Growing up, I was the intelligent underachiever smartass who had problems with authority. Got into lots of trouble (and many verbal and physical beatings too) as a youth, especially growing up in a rural farming town. They never could break me and make me submit. And it drove them insane.
Yesss. In my case, I feel like life got so much better when I was able to lose the toxic people who were eroding my soul on a daily basis... ❤
Because we are minimalist, conflict avoidant, focused on our goal, we play by universal rule of compassion for the weak and acceptance of the strong. Deep down though, we know who and what we should stick to.
The reason I don't fall in line as an INFJ is that I don't recognize a human hierarchy as being valid. Even in the military, where the hierarchy is clear, I only recognized it in order to play the game and that it is somewhat necessary in a military organization.
Totally, people don’t realise that we’re walking around protecting them from the truth about themselves.
I agree with this.
BRO (but then a girl) ?? U serious??
PEOPLE DON`T LIKE to hear THE TRUTH about themselves unless u are some twisted narcissistic sociopath
Don`t watch to much NETFLIX or television👌
Good answer!
Right I don’t understand why they be so mad when im trying to literally show you what is wrong
@@Bella-jw1xuBeing wrong genuinely hurts people. Especially if they feel they have to be right to provide for their family. Trust me, I get your struggle but it took me understanding what was behind the “monster” and it’s usually that.
Me? I LOVE being proved wrong by someone. If they explain how and why, even better because I’ll adopt it.
Most people don’t view being told you’re wrong as something to be thankful for. If you’re here, you probably don’t mind either… and it’s why you’ve probably willingly learned many things
I was wrong not to understand this sooner. Being wrong definitely hurts many people and I’ve been kinda insensitive or lackadaisical about dropping a very casual “well, this is the right or better way”
I may look and behave kindly and peaceful, I am. I may be striking looking, but if someone wants to start throwing their weight around, either subtly or aggressively, I am capable of being a tough nut! I am Australian, female, naturally very attractive, tall, 68 year old artist with a high IQ. There’s not much I cannot do. But we who have been INFJ’s all our long lives know that we can endure beyond anyone the worst treatment (narcissist husband’s tricks) no matter how much it hurts. But push us, keep lying, or get in our face, and then the power we hold comes your way big time! I love me! I have never met anyone who comes close to my intellect, compassion, or strength. A dear family friend, she’s a doctor, told me when I was around 30: I don’t have your level of compassion. INFJ’s rock!
I think you're my soul sister. I'm 70, artist, narc husband who is now having a breakdown because i won't play his games anymore. Pity we're at opposite sides of the planet.
YES, people change themselves to cater/provide to the bully, but an INFJ will never do that !
Yeah and the bully is absolutely terrified when they are alone by an infj, that's why they have to make up lies to others to recruit against the infj. At least I noticed that.
@@7goldglamour777 100% right
I will allow a person to offend or attack me for a long time, bc I know once I hit back, it will be over for them, and I'll end up feeling sorry for THEM in the end (always happens).
Same
Same. They confuse patience with weakness. And that is their undoing 😂
Likewise, and it’s usually well planned inside my head before it happens incase something doesn’t go according to the plan - like a flow chart of which degree of hurt is required for the lesson to be effective, depending on their intentional responses. Then the forgiveness on my end that leaves me in doubt whether they now hold a threatening grudge.
I know exactly how to hurt you in the most vulnerable spot, & my tone is the kind of cold that burns.
This is so spot on! What I don’t get is why people continue to have this one sided competition with the INFJ? I am not a competitive person by nature. I don’t think anyone has regretted messing with me to my face. Most of them are not the types to truly admit any wrongdoing, so it probably something they keep to themselves.
Exactly one Sided ,two shea 😆 ❤️
IKR!!
I guess because it makes them feel inferior and therefore useless. They attack so they can convince themselves that they mean something.
Yes..leave INFJs alone.
Interestingly, I feel ppl seem to get "offended" because of our hyperindependence. Things they typically cannot do without help from others, we can do naturally alone. They see this as an attack to their ability and think we're arrogant because of it without saying a peep.
Side note...would it be possible to see a vid on toxic/ narcissistic mothers and INFJs? Specifically daughters? Pleeaaasseee lol
I would love a video on that topic as well, great suggestion. 🎉
Wow. I’m an infj and had a narcissist mother. I’d love to see that.
Fellow INFJ who had both parents as Narcissistic People pleasers to their livelihoods as well. Needless to say I don't talk to either of them much at this point in life to preserve sanity 🙏🏿 ♥️
I would love to see this. Narcissistic mother no contact with family ❤
Men resent the independence. Makes relationships difficult..
A narcissist I dealed with regrets it and actually their last resort is that I am a witch. Seriously!! And ppl going along with it, in 2023! Makes me think about INFJ's and the middle ages.
That's how much power you hold. They can't compute it so resort to slander. I take it as a compliment 😊
Calling you names is as secondary as most things in life today where the man who called our forefather a monkey is termed as father of whatever 🤣
bwahaha - i had a narcissistic say something similar. They convinced themself & others that they were an empath. And since they couldn't 'get to me' I must have been supernaturally blocking 😂
Its called boundaries, and when an INFJ utilizes them we are a force to be reckoned with.
Me me. I am handling 3 heavy headed narcs in the family. 3 freaking learnt narc doctors who think they are Gods. I am handling them. lol. INFJs are god of gods.
Why are we always called witches? In a Christian and as far away from witchcraft as possible. It's ridiculous.
Messing with an INFJ is bad enough. When the INFJ is also a Heyoka Empath all bets are off. Before the instigator can even realize what they’ve done it’s too late. The retribution is already there.
Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack 🤔it's all clearly referenced in our resumes, should they choose to read and comprehend 😆
😊
Beware the fury if a patient man.
I love this quote
By the time you address the bad behavior there actions have become exposed including there intentions. They know they deserve to be punished and there staring in the face of Karma. Follow the golden rule. Forgiveness is a blessing.
I learned half a century ago that I am an INFJ. If you want a response from me, if you push me enough, you will get a response from me, and I promise you, you will regret pushing me, and you will never push me again. I will not touch you. I will not raise my voice. And you will never push me again. And if you have any sense at all, you will understand why I choose to remain quiet when I choose to remain quiet. Accurate information in this video. I hope people will learn from this video. Thank you.
I am just learning - at 61 - about being INFJ. This right here - omg - this. I do not fall in line - never had - and couldn’t put my finger on it till you described it in this video - THANK YOU!!
This is me to a T! If I have to stand against the whole world...I will to be true to myself...no problem! I've been alone most of my life...outcast...blacksheep...different and wouldn't have it any other way! Thank you for these videos and your work...blessings to you!...😇
We are fine until it's not then it's the door slam if your lucky or worse if you're not.
Some people tried to break me, and my reaction was apocalyptical, and now they leave me alone. Damn.
Some guy tried to break me. When that happens it is like they poked the sleeping dragon inside that cave. This is something I would not have done.
It's really interesting that this INFJ-persona is something I resonate with at some mysterious level. Well, not really mysterious anymore. I think that my true personality has been suppressed by my environment pretty much all my life, and now, in my 30s, I'm finally finding some answers to who I am, that resonates with me and makes sense to me.
I'm not a survivor, I've been fighting since I was a child. I'm a warrior.
LUCEO NON URO
(its our motto)
translation: I SHINE, NOT BURN.
heat us up, beat us down, & through the process we are tempered, strong, and shining 💪🏼 ⚔️
Yes, we can sense another's insecurities with our intuition and tell them what they don't want to hear about themselves.
True DAT!
I started watching these videos because although I’ve left so many people in my dust, it’s my family who always stands in the way. Very abusive, sociopathic/psychopathic family. They come for me when I’m thriving. I ask nothing of them and truly wish I could fake my own death. They’ve held me hostage at certain points in my life. Because cruelty & violence are respected within my family culture, just the way I live my life sets them off. I don’t let them bully people. I don’t conform or allow their darkness inside my heart and for this, they call me weak and docile. Yet they are the followers. It’s like being born into an evil cult. I have had to separate myself now in my 40s from them all, including both parents & my only brother. They only take. This means I’m left with only my wife & step-daughter. But as excruciating as it is not to have real family, I’m not one to back out once I’ve made up my mind.
Trying to find a way to learn to love myself in a gentler way. They’ve done a number on my self-worth. But as long as I’m free from them, it’s worth it for me.
Keep going and remain who you have always been. Fight the urge to go back into a lifestyle that has caused you so much harm. Remind yourself of this each time the guilt of your conditioning pops up. Slowly do things that you were scared to do around your family. It will take time but before you know will no longer think of them.
Keep protecting yourself. Do not feed any energy their way.
Once you have moved on - you will see they never cared about you at all. Good riddance.
I once sat in the hole in a jail once for 9 months. And I was actually amazed at the amount of people who came and spent even from an hour or days and literally would lose there minds and I couldn't understand why they just couldn't keep themselves together. I sat there the entire time and was completely unbothered. I was forced to be in there so I could not use the phone. Still learned sign language and using the windows continued to have people I've met to use the phone for me and we signed each other and so my stay was prolonged until they finally said fk it clearly we can't stop you. But that experience taught and showed me how much I could endure and how little others actually can. Amazing. 💯
One day.. They brought in a new person. I wasn't pleased.. As I liked the quiet more.. The 2 6x8 cells were like a 45° angle connected and the only access to anything outside of ur small box of a room was a 4x4 window on the door..
I'll never forget him.. He was what most would say was attractive. 6'2, 220 black hair white olive complexion. And the first night he sang.. He sang one song all night long.. I liked this although I'd never heard it before.. I liked it. "They took away my designer jeans.. And issued me Marine Core greens.. I'm gonna be a GIJoe, they made me leave my beauty queen.. And trade her for an M16.. I'm gonna be a GIJoe.." Tbh, I wished I could find this whole Cadence as it's so epic.. But that's about all I remember.. Day 2. All seems well all day.. Now, mind you this is a actual currently year 6 Marine.. And around 5ish this 2nd day evening.. It starts.. 🤦
And here we go.. 🃏
First were the muffled cries and sounds.. Then about 25, 35 mins into that come the screams and the banging.. And he was screaming.. 🤦
"Momma.. Get me my momma, I can't do this, I can't I have to get out of this room get me my MOMMA MOMMA GET MY MOMMA.." bang.. Bang.. BANG.
And I'm like, heyy.. Bruh.. You okay what's up.. Man, you know they can't get your Momma right.. Like what's up? Ttm. What else we got to do!? "Momma!! MOMMA!!" bang.. Bang.. BANG!!
BRUH!? Come on bruh.. You gotta calm yourself down.. Woosaa. "Nemo, I can't do this.. I been to Iraq and this is actual torture.. This is a nightmare.." The voice inside whispers.. Fugin what!? 🤔
You.. Fr.. Being so fr rn too.. 🤦
And then comes the Guards.. Heyy?!? Wtf is the gd problem!? Who tf is making all the gd noise.. Stfu!! Or we gonna give you some real problems.. And he starts screaming.. I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS I CAN'T GET MY MOMMA I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.. Click. Click. Errrrk.. Awe.. Hell.. You done fkd up now.. They opening your door.. And as soon as that door started to open you hear BAM.. And there he goes into the 4x4 square outside the door.. Both CO's had to literally back into the hallway to avoid him and the giant metal door that went swinging outwards.. And he lands in the floor and proceeds to lift his head up and SMASH.. SMASH.. SMASSHHH!!? His face over and over into to concrete flood.. Until blood was literally everywhere.. One CO yells out.. Nemo, what you done did to him..
Man, don't play with me.. You know I be chilling.. I tried talk to him.. He wasn't having it.. SMASSHHH!!? He gonna kill himself, he keep on damn.. Fk it. Fkn wtf ever.. Heyy get up and come on we gonna take you to medical damn.. And then we will put you in a new block..
NEMO, You wanna clean all this up..
Fk that idgaf hecks fugh no.. I ain't helping y'all do yall job!? Less you wanna give me them keys!?
You ain't getting these keys. And alright we get somebody else come do it..
And away the 3 of them went..
And meanwhile that voice starts at 227mph.. Did that really just.. Did he really just.. No way I'm actually awake rn.. I must be asleep and this is some warped dream.. This Iraq Vet.. This Enlisted Marine.. Just broke half his face with a concrete floor.. Because he had been in a box staring at a wall for all of what 36 maybe 38 hours.. You couldn't handle 2 days?? Mind Blown.. 210+ days I've been chilling right here and never once made a sound.. Like what they actually training these dudes.. Why isn't he mentally strong enough to keep himself together after not even 2 days. Wow. Seriously. Wow.
//_¢
infj knows how to break every bone in your body .
.... And the mind..... And the heart...
@@Rachel_M_this part.
And how to wield a machete.
and how to make them wish they had never messed with you.
...with their mind.
Yup. I’m immune to manipulative tactics. They don’t work on me anymore as an adult. Because those grimy tactics have been so played out in my life that they’ve now become underwhelming, to say the least. Been there. Done that. Im past that. I can see right through the mask.
So it doesn’t affect me when someone attempts to make me feel minuscule. I’ve been glowered, ridiculed, demeaned… you name it. Got sh*t on, p*ssed on, fvcked with… pointed at by lesser men. When you consider the source, it’s kinda pitiful.
All I can say as an INFJ who has finally stepped into their power… it’s a new life in place of old life. Unscarred by trials. It’s a new level of confidence and personal power. I’ll never surrender my dignity again. I’ll never lose as long as I’m dedicated to honoring myself.
wow, this teaching is AWESOME!!! 🔥 🔥 🔥 Super powerful, soooo true!
So true, a friend of mine violated my boundaries in a big way three years ago this Christmas, she got the door slam, I didn't need to say a word, simply closed the door and haven't acknowledged her since in spite of her tears, she just went too far.
Don't look back!
I would love for you to share how we can effectively prevent/proactively respond to coworkers stealing our work and/or accomplishments. I feel like this happens to INFJ’s more than anyone.
Hold them accountable every time and report it with evidence. I did that to my narc manager who went beyond harassment and paid a huge price for it. I fond out he was trying to get rid of all the originals due to change in contract and forced them to leave. What he didn't know is that I was already planning to leave but decided to give him a taste of hi own medicine and he cost the company thousands of pounds😁 I also realised not to work so hard for others but do my own thing and earn a lot more. As INFJs mature then normally majority ends the same and no more giving our powers away for sake of the undeserving. Good luck. 🙏
Document everything.
Don’t give out your ideas until you have a plan to track thst these ideas were yours.
Always watch out for those who steal your ideas and if you get a bad feeling trust it.
Don’t give out any ideas without it emailing it to others first so you can always show you had idea first. In those emails outline how “you had an idea”
That only way I found to be protected from this phenomenon
We all struggle with this and you will figure
It has happened to me in University, when I was younger. One spoilt nasty gal has stolen my project. I stopped socializing to her without any explanation. She tried to reach out to me several times, but I told everybody, including the relatives, that she was a thief, and I would not talk to her. When I saw her many years after, I pretended not to know her. Some people don't deserve second chance, because she has been nasty to many other people too. Not even mentioning seducing other girls boyfriends just for fun of destroying the stable couples. Avoid bad people, - they will never change.
@@user-oj5bw7sl8p she probably tried to get in contact to get some more good ideas and get your positive infj energy; screw people like her and I am glad u broke away
I feel you. I have had people steal from me. You have to get on the offensive/stand up to them (try to get an audience when you do it) and/or get away from them.
Loyalty amongst old warriors they fucked it up.
Power to rally. That is extra true. I can go from feeling alone to having even the courts and judge root for me.
Because we stand with truth
an infj will go for the jugular, and reach it every time, if and when pushed into it.
This speaks my language all day long! It never ceases to amaze me how we are so often viewed by casual observers as weak, because we rarely -if ever- take the bait. How wrong can they be? Oh! How very wrong, indeed! I could write an entire book on how many times I made people regret messing with me. It NEVER works out the way they envision, bet!
Goosebumps when you spoke about people showing up in time of need 9:18 ❤❤❤
I find I'll be patient long past immediate discomfort. Toxic people eventually put themselves into a position where they can be dropped with only a small intervention, sometimes neutral even. It blows me away that they never see it coming because I see my reaction waiting so loudly in me.
I can’t stop laughing you were so spot on my present situation. These people thought they would provoke me in a manner that would give them exactly what they wanted. They have no idea who they messed with. I might be alone, but I have the strength of 100 of these people, simple minded people don’t stand a chance there’s nothing more than a small pond when it comes to how deep their water runs and for folks like us it’s the Mariana trench when it comes to depth, but I don’t have to tell you thank you again for everything, young lady, you give me confidence that this personality will serve me it is hurt me in the past but now that I have a better understanding it’s like a super power people don’t get it and most INFJ’s get hung up on how special we are. There’s nothing special about it if you don’t use it, you lose it most don’t understand. Keep up the great work strength in Numbers.
😂❤🎉
No idea!
@@jahidahdiaab5197 🐶😎🐶🤝😎 Pleasure to make your acquaintance
@@DMAC1301 takes one to no one me and the girls appreciate you 🐶😎🐶🤝😎
I can see when I make a coworker feel stupid, I usually feel bad and give them compliments…however if they start trying to make me feel bad, i comeback at them and tell them I’m sorry but ur lashing out because u feel something bad about yourself…that shuts them up,every time😅😅
Funny story…a boss once publicly humiliated me in retaliation for not doing something inappropriate that I refused to do. Long story short, he will be working the rest of his life, never able to retire.
Let me guess.. You 100% sued him 🎯
@@queenwarrior281 no, I just let him dig his own grave, and I lived happily ever after. No lawsuits involved. 😁
So clearly explained-I’m gonna watch this one multiple times, thank you Wenzies!!
I've always liked not playing by the rules, but I always felt alone in that, even around others who defied the rules. Those people were rebellious. I was just trying to be myself.
INFJ hunting guide in Alaska here. I do winter and cold and rain, can outlast all my clients and fellow guides. Love the mental battle 😆
I, like you, bad teeth. Otherwise, great looking, super smart, bookish, etc... I'm proud of you for your courage. I was bullied a lot and ostracized for both my teeth, which I didn't realize was causing me a lot of pain, and bad treatment from family was rotting inside me. I had to help myself from my inner pain. Your heart is beautiful and I appreciate you for who you are. From all these things, I became a great intellectual, artist and more... certainly, I have struggled at times because I stand up for myself-- at some points, I did not articulate it so well (vengeance instead of more appropriate methods), but I don't allow anyone to bully me or others. Be well. Biggest hugs.
She's pretty and i like how she talks.
I never realized I have LIVED the points in this video - until now! Thank you so very much for causing the lightbulb to go on in me!
People do show up and offer me moral support, but they dont offer the kind of help i really need. Actually thry refuse and dismiss me. Everyone thinks that validation is the key to everything, but its just not. I need real tangible physical and logistical support at times, but i always get mirrored back to me "You're strong and dont need help, you can do this alone." And honestly im so sick and tired of that attitude. I need help too, thats why im asking for it!
Im experimenting with what will happen if i keep pushing for better more customized support. Has anyone had experience receiving the actual help they need? The moral support is great, but i need people who are willing to meet me where i actually am and offer me something real.
My husband is an INTJ and he offers me exactly what you said you needed. He's not a pretty-word kind of guy, he just offers logical problem-solving answers.
Mad respect is due us👍🏻
I cannot depend on my family as they are the bullies and abusers, maybe who you are seeking help from are similar?
Dear Wenzes, Dear INFJ-s. thank you so much for this video. It helps a lot.
Hit them where it hurts. Once again I can’t stop laughing. My live videos have kept me alive and I don’t believe that’s an exaggeration. Given my present situation you hurt him with the truth but you have to prove it I got to ask have you ever done a video on a broken INFJ? What happens when you break an INFJ as a child, I have a very unique perspective on this personality. Most of the people I’ve seen online with this personality are very soft like I used to be when I was a child, if you get wounded with this personality when you’re a child, it changes the dynamics in the personality, but it doesn’t change who you are. It affects the way your personality exhibits itself once again thank you very much.
I think another example is if we directly witness another person being bullied. Even if we’re usually a bit timid, prepare to see a whole other side.
Absolutely!
I really appreciate your videos. Thank you!
I have left a pile of bullies hurting. One man sued me for a million dollars, it was a slander case. He lied. He lost and had to pay me and my attorney fees. He died soon after of colon cancer.
Another guy had a stroke after messing with me.
One bully told me to suck his dk in the surf. I chased him out of the water and sent him running down the beach. It was a heavy surf spot with localism. He was so humiliated. I was laughing paddling back out. All of the guys looked shocked.
My dad who raped me, beat me, and destroyed my youth ended up shooting himself in his face. He couldn't face what he had done. Pun intended.
These are just a few of my stories. The strange thing is I'm a peaceful INFJ who minds my own business. God is everything to me. But the bullying by others is relentless. I'm in my 60s and have lived honestly and most of the bullys sunk themselves. It's a hard life. I see everything in everyone quickly.
I had a gf who cheated on me. She was planning on lying about her pregnancy. She got pregnant on purpose immediately after the break up to say it’s mine. She told her best friend about this plot. Well, her best friend reaches out and literally says “you’re too nice for me to let her do this to you but she got pregnant by some random guy and she’s planning on saying it’s yours.” A couple of months later, she told me about the baby but I immediately demanded a dna test after birth. She flipped on her stance and acted like I was crazy for thinking that. I never told her I was warned.
INFJ is the best!
🥂✨infj is made for great battles
It is true in some way, I do know 2 historical icons in Japan, must be INFJ. One make the foundation of Japanese ancient art, who was the best of Tea Art. Another one was called "The best Japanese warrior", this one named Sanada Yukimura. Maybe you or anyone like, can check about the history. In some way I feel lucky born as INFJ in modern time.
@@jonathanlee8709 I guess, many geniuses in old days used to be INFJ, but could not be recognized as such due to the absence of the proper terminology. One notices lots of INFJ-features, while reading their biographies or even their own diaries.
Not looking for conflict nor confrontation #understood😊
I would love to know which ways work best on how to stop and prevent about being bullied at work, we as INFJ’s love harmony in every situation but sometimes it is being abused.
It is very taxing 😢
Self-employed is the best sometimes.
Facts! Thank you so much for the clarity you bring to us INFJ’s.
We do have a breaking point- it's just NOT what they're expecting 😏 it will turn in our favor, that's how we survive this- and it's not our first option, but it's the best at that point🤔
I was a retail supervisor. We had a new manager appointed (I was passed over by the regional manager despite being more experienced and far more competent)
First impression of him, lackadaisical and fake smile.
I called out bullying to him by some other colleagues towards a couple of sales assistants. The manager and other supervisor spent 4 months plotting a mutiny against me ( I may have only been the supervisor but everybody knew I ran the place) I didn't physically hear any of their secret chats, but I picked up the vibe in the air
I Go in one day, manager hits me with a surprise "investigation
" which totally breached all procedures. He could not do the investigation. Total kangaroo court.
Picture 2 men, 1 in front of me, one behind, blocking me in a narrow warehouse aisle full of tools.
Under ordinary circumstances I would have calmly maintained absolute compliance to company policy. We may hate policies and hierarchybas INfJ's but we certainly know it inside out. Things did not go that way.
There were many gulps of fear, I have had my right of entry removed from all 400+ stores nationwide and my former colleagues are in genuine fear for their personal safety. Apparently I was very intimidating.
Best part is I didn't even threaten them physically or verbally. I think it was the maniacal laughter before the truth explosion that did it 🤷🏼♀️
The fifth point is my favourite. 💙
Thank you Wenzes for articulating it.
You piss off the goat 🐐 you get hammered and rammed . 0:34
Mess with the bees' nest, you'll get stung!😂😂
FA&FO is how I call it. F around and find out.
Each and every person who have tried to bresk me, just regretted it.😂
I can count like 6 in my entire life.
As we age, we wise up and start learning better boundaries and that it is ok to put ourselves first once in awhile
I tend to go through a lot of jobs because I won't put up with peoples BS (I know, not a good thing) lol
You have to be comfortable where you work, it's ok.
As usual Wenzes is spot on.
Knowing a hostile boss is deliberately trying to provoke a reaction. Watching him getting befuddled and frustrated when they don’t get it. “PRICELESS” 😂
Many people this year alone have tried to mess with me for no reason other than their own insecurities (they don't like being called out on that very much, I'll tell ya that). I can think of one individual who I'm sure is deeply regretting it, whether they admit it or not -- and I haven't even hit them where it REALLY hurts. They don't like the fact that I see them for who and what they really are when they've got everyone else fooled. If they're smart, they'll back off. People definitely underestimate me and then do NOT see it coming when I fight back.
I know what you mean, though. It's mind-boggling getting targeted and attacked for seemingly no reason. :/
I love your videos. You're always spot on. Thank you!
Once i said something that made my mom snap and ahe kept screaming You have demon in you, i rebuke you devil! While physically trying to attack me cuz i wouldnt break. So i had to back her ass up. Christmas eve eve i woke up to her calling the cops on me cuz i wouldnt answer her calls/texts while trying to pile food on my doorstep. The specifics are more crazy. We still dont talk, hasnt been any time to me but for her probably ages. Shes adult adhd and narcissistic.
This is interesting. All the jerks I've dealt with this year....all of them threatened to call the cops on me. I straight-up laughed every time because I can always see so quickly that it's a useless and empty threat (what, pray tell, could you possibly tell the cops what my crime is, exactly? 😂). Also because I've already called the cops on them first 🤣 People are silly.
Recently, someone was telling me what the bad person was doing, and I laughed. He said, "It's about to get real UN-funny," and then proceeded to tell me what I already knew, hence why I was laughing. The kicker? I'd already told them that what he was telling me was going to happen! I honestly don't understand how people DON'T see these things.
There are people who really like to poke at a sleeping bear! 😆 When we figure out that they're that stupid- we let them know 😉
👏
It's not like we don't give the plenty of warnings. Sometimes we just tell the straight how things are going to work out if they carry on....
Just sails right over their empty heads 🤷🏼♀️
@@Rachel_M_ yes! It most certainly does! It can be frightening how dumb some people are, & a bittersweet reminder that we should have gratitude for our own difficult minds😉
@@reneehouser2925 I'm 47 and finally love being in my own head now... Most of the time I feel like I'm watching a tragic sitcom go on around me 😉
True dat! I have spelled it our people in plain and simple English what I'm okay with and not okay with, and what will happen if they cross that boundary again. When the do, I follow through BIG time. It's interesting, like you said, how surprised they always are 🤔
This is something that would pop up in my work life every once in awhile. It never occured to me until after the fact however. I'm glad that I'm retired now so I no longer have this issue.
So I love listening to you and I went through a breakup with a narcissistic abusive relationship and she's what they call in covert narcissist or a victim narcissist and it was terrible and I find myself listening to you and calling you babe when I got to pause the phone I'll be back I got to get something done and then when I come back to the phone you're my virtual INFJ girlfriend
I don't think the narrator is a INFJ. She's a great INFJ !
The gadget never ceases to amaze me. It’s been a little while young lady, but your titles always catch my attention just at the right time you can’t make it up and so very true or the wrong people to mess with. I haven’t started your video yet, but something tells me, you’re going to be speaking about honesty and justice. Something we can’t get away from I’ve tried it’s too strong you can’t walk away from injustice it’ll eat you alive.
Thank you for this channel. I have never felt so validated in my life. I'm not alone! ❤
You win. No more denying
Yeah, thanks for the videos, I watch them a lot -- as a fellow INFJ I can so relate.
Thanks!
I can now see why control freaks can't break my will.
You are simply amazing. ❤
There is a woman at work that has been trying to figure me out and tries to get a reaction out of me but I don't care enough about things to have a reaction but she found my open wound and now she pokes her finger in it daily for entertainment...so I am learning how to maneuver and deal with her approaches to my weak spot. We all have weak spots and we have to learn how to wall those weak spots up and hide them or just say hey I am a weirdo and i don't allow people at my house I am so sorry if you don't understand but that's just how I am. This woman keeps trying to send her kids to my house to help me with what ever issue I have and she knows I don't want them there so she said she was just going to drop them off and she laughed and had so much fun making me uncomfortable.
Boundaries!
@@avanellehansen4525 yes I agree I just hate having to put my foot down when there never should be a reason to do so. If she wanted to be nice she could of offered and left it with that but she knew I had a problem with it so she keeps pushing it every chance she gets. I will eventually have to e direct and firm but she is also my boss so it makes it more of a maneuver to duck and dive and hope she eventually tires of the game she is playing.
She sounds a l’il crazy. I just would not answer the door.
Bull's Eye Wenzes 🎯! Thank you 😊
Wenzes, First thank you from my Heart and Soul, for guiding and helping me getting Clarity on being an INFJ. I am eternally grateful
- One thing I have LEARNED in my life experience is this: Other human beings need to be told this, in my humble opinion:
Do not take my KINDNESS as a WEAKNESS
Please!
Much Love
Kenneth Damm
We are here. We all have more or less same point of view. We are serene. But we have the vilest killer poison of a snake.
We are warriors and we always come back better and stronger 💪
We don't mess around in numbers either. But we start messing with each other
God, I love your videos again. I'm forty one years old, and everything you're talking about is what i'm going through right now
However manytimes INFJ would feel really bad after the negative reaction that they did to the others
They barely know the half of it... Thx & greets from Tenerife (The Canary Islands) 🙃😉😊
Hola 😊
@@baronesselsavonfreytag-lor1134 Hello milady...
I don't feel half as strong as you've said we are...🥺
You could use some internal healing. Seek The Most High God and He can and will heal your wounds completely from the inside out so you can soar being your utmost best version of yourself. Shalom. 🙏
You need to learn to like yourself, accept yourself in the presence of others and not give a fuck. Do some shadow work in hermit mode.
💯 XD "it's something u shouldn't have done in the first place" pro tip, valid. Thanks for the tips, so helpful as always! (The infj doesn't care. We see the fools game, and don't feel any need to play it.)
Isn't the purpose of individual life to find out who you are? It takes a lifetime to know one's Self. Telling people who you are or are not gives people license not to do their own work. Yes, I fit the profile spoken about but I've lived a life earning my self knowledge.
Having said that the discussion here is a very good one and supportive of the experiences I have lived through. I agree, it takes a lot to push me into a corner, I will demand they move aside or I will take steps despite how uncomfortable I am with the challenges I would face using my good reputation to cancel 'yours'.
Wenze's you're enjoyable with this information indeed.Jerome❤❤❤
You can’t imagine my success in horse training. Horses get it quick. It’s mutual respect. I think horses have a lot of these great qualities ❤
With me its dogs. I understand them, they understand me.
Point number 5 and after that freaking perfect! ❤
I feel so good about finding your channel, finally feeling validated and relieved that i dont have to think and feel like im the only one who goes through through all of these things, i can relate to absolutely everything that u talk about ,every scenario , every frustration at thinking "maybe they've been right all along" thinking. No they haven't been at all!😂. Still hurts😢but somehow i dont break😅😅 and get in line with their values, beliefs or ways of being.😊
It's true, we really aren't trying to cause trouble. But my experience with these 5 points were: ......
1. The INFJ won't fall in line.
My experience with this started even in elementary school when I refused to obey the wishes of the gal who thought she was the queen bee of the class. I usually didn't argue with her, but just went on and did my own thing anyway.
2. The INFJ makes you look weak.
I can continue to do my own thing for quite a while and still not bend to my critic's pressure. But when I have had enough and really say so, it often shocks people and yes, sometimes it does make them feel dumb.
3. The INFJ will hit where it hurts.
This could very well be because we're sensitive and we can often spot where our critic is weak. Especially tempting is to do this is when our critic is getting after us for faults that he or she has, as well.
4. The INFJ will rally unexpected support.
I've been pleasantly surprised
at some of the emotional support I've gotten . But along with this is factual stuff from my own reading and information gathering, which I have no trouble telling my critic comes from authors who know more than they do.
5. The INFJ will become stronger.
Without a doubt. As we practice taking care of ourselves we do get better at it. I don't have nearly as much trouble with people giving me a bad time as I did when I was younger. Believe me, what you're saying in this video rings true.
Spoken like a tried and tested warrior.
Many of us have a warriors heart I strongly believe
All I have to say is we do not belong on this planet and everyone including parents and family has abandoned me and doesn't want anything to do with me and think and say I am the problem but I really think they all know that I can see right through them and can read people like a book, but nobody cares that we INFJ's care more about others and will go without just to help them ,but once they do see this side of me then the narcissistic in most people try to get over on me but beware I will always know in advance what is going on before anything happens and hope that I am having a good day....................