INFJ, THIS CHILDHOOD LIE IS RUINING ALL OUR LIVES
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- Опубликовано: 15 окт 2024
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Let's talk about a childhood lie that holds us back from living our best life. It's time to break free from feeling like mere observers and tap into our full potential. Specifically, let's explore how this affects INFJs. Recognizing and shedding this lie can truly transform your life. It's not just a theory - it's about feeling it in your core. Let's dive in and uncover what is hindering us, so we can move forward with purpose and leave stagnation behind. This is more than just discipline - it's about breaking free from limiting beliefs.
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How are you handling people openly showing you that they NEED you as an INFJ (consciously/or subconsciously but definitely obviously)?
Do you mean using me to my detriment?
The grandmother part was incredibly interesting 🧐
i always skip the boot camp promo but i make up for it by hitting the like button 😂
I am resisting the pull to "fulfill" the need - It is crazy how intense this pull is to fulfill the need because then I will get the validation of "You are good enough" - "You are wanted you are worthy" - This hit deep and has triggered my inner child (holding back tears at my desk) - Nevertheless - I will feel it and then can heal it and now I have a new awareness that will serve a more authentic version of myself.
@@DearYoungerSelf111 affirmations like "i am good enough" "i am perfectly imperfect" "i am lovable just as i am" have help my through daily repitition. you are worthy! and i believe in you !
If people disrespect my peace then I don't want them in my life.
I’m not sure that is the same for me. If I truly want peace I would enter my grave…. Till then I will need to deal with it. I can avoid disturbances but I can also learn to wear a helmet.
Other than that: I do strive to be in peace. For me my connection with Jesus gives that. And I do regard some disturbances as chances to grow instead of something to get away from.
It’s not black and white
My perception does not always with the true perspective
@@Pilot333 lol damn till you enter your grave. I feel it wow.
Same as I do Endo. .😅😅. .something's fishy in this comment section of yours my bro. .
I used to feel this way. Anyone or anything disrupting my peace is a threat. But, our peace can be a comfort zone. True peace is being at peace with the truth. So, it does help if you have to break dissociative peace, personal peace, or temporary peace for the universal peace.
Yeah, it really hurts to know that no one is going to give that to us. I'm beginning to realize it's not going to happen. So it makes me really mad that I've put so much into people and realtionships that weren't worth it and mostly drained me. I'm now only giving to people who give me back in ways I need. Also I decided to put a limit to what I give - I consider how much time and energy I have and what I have to do and don't leave myself and my tasks for after I'm done with the other person.
You are amazing. You are special. If they don't see that there loss. It's obvious to me.
@@bamgold4677 Thank you, but I have my flaws and bad moments. Finding the balance between Fe and Fi is very important. Otherwise we end up feeling like victims and we don't take responsibility for what we don't do well in relationships which is people-pleasing and futile enabling.
Practice strong personal boundaries! I totally can relate to feeling drained after remaining with people who have proven themselves to be toxic, and unaccountable for their actions or sometimes lack of actions. You are also right in that it's easy for us to feel like victims due to this lack of accountability in others. INFJ's attract a lot of demanding, narcissistic personalities. It's like, you door slam one, another one somehow is waiting to try to move in to your life (it's like an unwritten rule, even if you try to isolate yourself, their are antagonists, armed and willing to disturb the peace that try to slip into your life, again, strong personal boundaries, trust the intuition! Best of luck!
When I was walking out of the darkness, the little girl I saved ran after me and asked if I was leaving her, there? Immediately, I bent down, wrapped my arms around her, picked her up, squeezing her tight and I said, “Never! You’re coming with me. You have me, now. You are safe with me. Thank you for calling to me, for reminding me.”
Love this! I've had trouble integrating and I love the visual of this, I will try this 😊
❤❤
@@congchuahattieu Yay :):)
As an INFJ, until now I'm still dreaming about the past times when I got awards on my class/competitions, I told to my father and he always said: "Why u only can get that prize?"
It hurts me a lot, and untill now I just realized that I'm always search for recognition from all the ones I love.
Guys, don't do that to ur children. It detroyed them a lot.
I don't think parents realise how important what you say to children is sooo important❤
Wow. This was intense. I hadn't ever thought about things in this way. Suddenly my dynamics with people make a lot more sense. So, as an INFJ hearing "don't take it personally" never made sense to me. It's like we always absorb it so it is inevitably personal. This is probably the most mind-blowing video I've seen on this channel! Thanks!
Yes, it always makes me warm inside but also sad, when she mentions holding a picture of oneself as a child, parenting this kid.
We are warm protected and loved. We have team INFJ. You are all going to win over time. Yes only people the devoid the anti social outcasts dont take things Personally because they are empty inside literally what a waste they are indeed. Normal humans and animals alike have chemicals released in their head depending on what is said.
This resolved a long time mystery I had on why I always reacted to bullying and I stand up against force of any kind! My wife always wonders why I react when I see something happening in Politics and I react out and get affected by. I now don’t have to “fix” myself.
Yep, my thoughts exactly. This video totally reframes the core beliefs I have been carrying around. Allowed a narcissist mother in law to nearly destroy me, and realizing this is why I fell into her trap, because I needed a mommy. I left my family for 10 years, in an effort to get this permission to be ok, from her. And when I had enough strength to leave, I began the journey of finding my Eternal Child. I love this channel. 😍coming home to myself finally...
@@ErinRichardson-pu4mw are you feeling safe and happy now yes?.
I am actually not standing for others but for what's authentic and true , whether it is acknowledged or not it doesn't matter
I love to also take this a step further and practice this when I do negative self talk. "Back off, unhealed self; stop being a dick. You're being mean and I will not allow that anymore." I will never be my own bully again ♥️
Thanks for bringing this up, I struggle with myself being the bully way more than other people being the bully
The inner child philosophy is beautiful explained in an India movie called Tamasha. I would recommend that to INFJs and INFPs. I learned a lot from it.
I will buy the movie later in the week :):):).
Hey Wenzes thank you for making these videos. They have been life changing for me. Because of you I understand myself better. Lately have also been keeping my childhood photo as wallpaper. You have not only changed my life for good, but am able to spread positivity, so you have influenced people around me as well. Thank you 🤗
as an INTJ here, what you are describing here sounds similar to how Fi IS for us.
for us to get out of the ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATING Ni/Fi loop, we ABSOLUTELY NEED TO lean into and execute our second function of Te.
i can ONLY imagine that a similar situation MUST BE similar for you all - to escape the Ni/Ti loop lean into and execute your second function of Fe.
HELP OTHERS with Fe and; in effect, youll ALSO be helping the health and liveliness of yourself.
ABSOLUTELY.
FOR SURE.
- (again) INTJ
Wenzes protects us and we will help protect the Wenzes. Team INFJ.
@@bamgold4677 no more, you're on your own
@@ninjareport2 Lol thanks Ninja.
@@bamgold4677 may the peace be upon you
@@ninjareport2 Thank you very much. And you too if you are a good person.
@@bamgold4677 ☺️🤫😘
This is one of the most powerful videos of yours that I have seen, and very timely in this season of my life. This certainly struck a chord within me and I will most definitely be working to integrate this powerful concept into my reality. Thank you for all of your insights and wisdom Wenzes, your videos have been more than helpful in discovering who I truly am over the past couple of years.
I wish therapists would be able to know it because none of the ones I takked to could even deal with an INFJ, lesser helping in this level. Gratitude for it 🙏🏻
My therapist is INFJ and she knows me better than I know myself 😊
in my last job I decided only to speak with those colleagues who came to me, the others I did not mind at all. This was mindblowing to me and completely in line what is explained in this video. The best decision I ever made.
Good Advice.
Thank you very much for this. I used to blame my inner child according to how people reacted to me…I blamed myself. I’m now working on being my inner child’s champion, thank you for helping me see how❤️
Thank you so much for this video. It's something I've always struggled with. My eternal child tried super hard to get my narcissistic mother to love her but her efforts always backfired and at the time I could never work out what on earth was going on.
My mother seemed to hate me for loving her.
RUclips videos about narcissism shed light on the subject but I still had to do a LOT of grieving, long after my mother had died. Thinking of my adult self as parent to my younger self brings much better results and gives me the peace, reliability and validation I had wanted from the outside. So it all makes sense at long last.
She was ESTJ or ESTP.
My Ti definitely wants to be recognized and appreciated - My creative ideas have always meant so much to me - Just the fact that I am creative and can come up with things or create systems - Has always mattered. Thank God I went to performing arts school - Where being creative was normal and welcomed.
That's a life advantage. It will pay off in many different ways. Creativity is special.
Thanks for this. I'm going to go and cry with my child-self now. I really appreciate this. It felt like the parent validation I needed. But I see now it is me.
This was good!!!! Life changing! Being the adult in protecting your inner child! I’ll be using this for now on and forever!
As always, I give thanks for you ... for your experience ... and for your passionate, crystal CLEAR expression. This video in particular has helped me INNERstand why I've always been a warrior in protecting children / adults that simply couldn't hold their own yet. One of my nicknames from a young age was "The Baby Whisperer" ... I vow to turn that whisper inside on a whole new level. Heart to Heart hugs coming your way, beloved Soul! THANK YOU!
When I broke up with friends who I had this kind of dynamic with.
I cried, 1 day, 1 week and 1 month after.
I felt like I am losing something, but I always looked back and tried to know what is the thing I left that makes me so sad, they weren’t bad people but they were certainly not invested in me as I was invested in them. They had empathy for what I felt, but they didn’t give my child the validation it craved for, i am not blaming them, i was disappointed and hurt, but I will never hate them. And I wish they can know that, but I just don’t think they will care, and if they cared, they will notice it from my occasional encounters. it feels so bad to know it was on me, And I knew that the ball was in my field, i just didn’t what will happen when I shoot it.
Subconscious I knew that shooting it will just lead to me noticing how pointless playing from the first place is.
Also it feels freeing to deal with validation for what it is, rather than a need for your eternal child.
Hi there, i feel you. Currently having a quite same issue with you. May I ask, how is your dynamic relationship with those friends now? I am conflicting with my bffs about the same problems for almost 2 years now and still dont know what is best to do. Im deeply dissapointed but still not able to cut them off out of my life completely as I always cherish our past good memories. Really appreciate if you reply this message.
How long were they good for. Or was it good mixed with bad. @@petalofsunflower
@@petalofsunflower If they repeat the same thing for 2 years they may be repeating it for 20.
Ok, this video is pivotal for me. I will rewatch it!!! I do not have this support in my relationships. The child in me has suffered so deeply. Making changes now is sadly not acceptable to those around me. Used, depleted and discarded. That has been the pattern.
You will find your group and be happy. There loss YOUR win.
@@bamgold4677 encouraging words. Thank you❣️
Wow, this was intense! Huge!
I get it now, thank you.
Thats like my manager at work, theres a birthday board and I watch it every month since 5/2023, she never put my birthday up on the board: my eternal child was hurt because everyone had their birthdays up so why isnt mine.
Screw them. Take in fresh cookies on your birthday. Make them eat guilt.😂
being a parent to my inner child is something I have been trying to do for a while now, I seem to run into problems is when I get distracted and forget to keep parenting myself❤
Wenzes your most recent videos have a preciseness/focus that I am finding very useful. I am putting this one into action immediately. I need to protect my inner child Ti by setting firmer boundaries around my time, carving out space for Ti playtime (for me that means playing with spreadsheets and money making ideas), by using my Fe to say a firm NO to myself when I get distracted by boring chores on my to do list (perfectionistic parent).
Could u plz explain me this video in Simple Layman's language, Kind of summary.I'm new here, know cognitive function but didn't get what she is saying.Shall be Thankful!
There will always be time to clean. Those ideas you create on the spreadsheet have alot of future potential value. Good job yes carve out the time.
Thank you, I’ve been trying so hard to find a way to validate myself but nothing I did made me feel good. You nailed it 🙏🏽
I find these videos of WENZES very insightful. But I would request further ellaboration. Becoming a protective parent for one's own inner child is a good idea, but how that protective parent is going to interact with that hurtful person in reality? Please remember, inner child sees all of your actions .
Thanks for your great program, learned a lot in just a few days. Your great powers of observation is truly incredible.
Wenzes, thank you! Why do I feel like listening to your youtube videos recently, and letting them sink in has started to help me unlock something deep within my psyche? It's so awesome. I've been leveling up by analyzing your advice and slowly applying it.
My EFT app has a series of tapping medirations on nuturing the "Inner Child.". I'm going to keep your counsel in mind as I work on the sessions. This topic has come at an excellent time for me.
I have a saying that I use at work sparingly and very intentionally when I want to see someone's genuine reaction in order to gauge their true self; 'If I didnt like what I do, I would go do something else.' Which is entirely true, but hardly anyone has ever thought of it like that. I tell you, if you say this and believe it, you will see a wide range of emotional reactions. It becomes quite entertaining.
I never thought about this, but the idea is very good, I'll try it
Self parenting work has been the best and surprisingly the easiest part of my healing process. Now I know why. ♥️
Wow that's incredible. Your Unique because for some it's so hard. Good job wow.
Yeah we want validations for our objectivity
Thanks for sharing this valuable and life-changing insight!
Wenze's I needed this thank you Wenze's.Jerome❤❤❤
Excellent information thank you as always. Helped me in Life.
Love your channel. When we are enjoying each other's company, we validate this part of each other. We have mirror neurons for this reason, and this also ties into the Observer Effect. Our senses and our feelings are tied together, so that we can know and feel that what we are doing is good for us! ❤😊
😢😢😢So painful, but I would like to say:" it's not just about putting limits and saying back off to others, but also it's about treating our child mercifully with tenderness, without being so harsh on it, as ppl were with him"
I still believe that there's would be always ppl who can give us the validation we needed, still believe that we could have those ppl who would say "back off" from my child even would say it for us to stop it, treating ourselves badly
They will always be there meaning you can always spend time money energy and you will get it. Now that you know you can protect your inner child being gentle with yourself :):):).
Amazing analysis 🎉
When you're taught through feelings, When you're taught through feelings
Just another day, The shame is gone, It's Hard to believe, That I let it go away --Lacuna Coil Swamped
I love you you're like a sister to me and I don't even really know you but I know you. You tell the truth about INFJs you're not just making videos. I think it's hilarious FBI profilers do not understand the INFJ. It's a story I won't get into right now😂😅😊
In my dark days, it was me who came to my rescue. Literally, I saw my inner child as a muscular adolescent who was unafraid of being different from the others.
This round Anne saved Anne❤
omg this really allows me to do the inner child work that is required. i always hear that "you need to give her what she needed that she didn't have back then" but i'm always weird about it like i dont know what to say. this video gave me the perspective i needed, wenzes, thank you so much!!! i needed someone to say that "hey, this is a good job you're doing" " you're a good person"
and in regards to stepping up for her... ohmygod. i really was acting like i didn't want to ruin the chances for them to be a good parent to me so i always letting things slide without knowing because i wanted their validation. they will never step up for me. so i have to do it for myself. thank you so much for this. i just needed to listen to a video from an INFJ standpoint in regards to inner child healing. because i could understand the concept but i could never really step in. i wanna say thank you again! this could really change my whole way of relating to others. because i used to be the friend that steps up to the battle but when it comes to me i just put it on me and try to mend something that is not supposed to be healed. people don't only learn from love, those who abuse their power should learn from consequences.
I love this kind of content❤
9:00 anytime you are looking for validation outside of yourself, you are setting yourself up for failure
Oh Wenzes, you put it wonderfully into words! True words. A fabulous video that I hope many will watch. By the way, I had 2 grandmothers like that (one still does). The one I rarely called was also the one who saw me and always let me be. She was also INFJ. I only realized this last year. Thank you so much for videos just like this. 💛🔥🎢🌳
Beautiful. 💙
I would also like to add one point. I try to tiptoe to those persons, who are like silent grand ma of Wenzes and try to make them happy without being seen or heard. I do it not because I am a shy person but because I deeply respect other's boundaries. My point is : it is not obvious that one shall or should respond only to someone, who is asking for attention.
Thankyou. Your videos are really helpful 😊
Thanks for this ❤
Wow.. I got the chills. Thank you
This is very helpful - thank you so much
❤ Very interesting. Thank you! 🙏
🌸 that’s right, don’t let anyone put you, baby, in the corner❣️
I’m feeling happy for the young & young @ heart INFJ’s who are soon to enter their personal, epic INFJ Bootcamp with the Earth’s quintessential INFJ expert❣️
Great as always!! 😂
Grey eyes, an the smile they pulls over an up to the left.... I have as well.
I wonder if there's something up with that?
Another example is NF s song “Hope” I think he’s an infj, the song is about taking the reins from your inner child basically. Another thought on multiple personalities…
Oh yes, I love the song Happy!
Me too :):)) do you know Happy By Pharrell was the best selling song of the Year :);):);):);) and guess what his Mbti is :);). @@mirandawalker6600
Btw...Love Thy Neighbor, wasn't just meant for childhood. We all need to give and receive love. Our hearts have both in and out sides...And that's what our energetic exchange is all about...😊
My inner child slams doors on anyone who doesn't appreciate him. He's also very self fulfilled and doesn't need permission or approval.
Interesting, I close the door on anyone who uses guilt or manipulation to precipitate action on my part. I do absolutely seek validation for objective understanding, but most people can’t get there.
Thank You-Stand Up!
Благодарю за ваше видео. Они помогают понять себя.
That one guy that asked if there was a link between infj and personality disorder, I feel like your inner child is kinda like your sub ego. Or maybe shadow self… idk , good videos lately! Very thought provoking
Would you consider making a segment on very high intelligence INFJs---IQ 145, IQ 155. It would be a help! A different set of unique problems on top of INFJ unique problems that make it almost impossible to find a peer group. There are about 120,000 people in the world with an IQ of 155 and an INFJ. Thanks!
INFJ certainly have VERY HIGH IQs. I am IQ 120.
We beating about the bush and blindfoldedly enough! We shouldn't anyway make ourselves or let grow within us multiple personality going side by side like the child in us the parent in us, the friend in us, the foe in us, the kind person in us, the lover in us, the hater in us, and many such fragmented people inside one person! Once we're grownups all those personality within us grew and it's just an admixture of everyone we met since childhood gradually dissolved make us a rather complex person type! Compare the situations of stumbling to fall badly hurting ourselves likewise when we were still children and when we're grownups; we never knew how to get up when we were children until a caring hand give us the reassuring, and known powerful support - maybe physical or psychological - came along but the scenario isn't the same if the same thing happens to us when we're adults, because by now we now know what to do and even this time round we wait for the assurance we need to get up, we haven't grown but this rarely happens when in adulthood and if it happens by chance you really need help grow your personality with expert! I didn't get what you're striving to be different if had two grandmas of different personalities one keeps us awake and the other doesn't possess the same vive that'll mach who we going to care more according to a judgement formed by our young person! When become old, enough old, we just need company more than anything else and being young we must treat them equally! Who wants validation or approval when have to do what we have to do? We need to go along with our ability and we can only better our ongoings by knowing our weaknesses, our limitations; the more accurate we are in knowing those limits the more ease we have in forwarding ourselves and shielding ourselves from injuries! But we shouldn't confuse the a rough way to a mountainous terrain; the one you can see what's ahead and the other you don't see at all what's beyond when you require intuition, vision, strength to go ahead and sometimes you badly need help if they come in time it's reliving to get along and if they don't you still have to get along but with a wobbly mindset of fears within in case of a fail! You never get validation if you ask for, it should naturally come just to approve that you've nodded a taste you could do otherwise! We mustn't teach our adult child inside us to get up and pull up your socks now, gird up your loins, it's time to run the gauntlet because we're no more in that stage of life of getting pushed from outside our person but our growing made us to naturally cope and decide what to do! We shouldn't think our all decisions would be precise and we cannot mistake and we cannot feel bad; but it's only us who have to take action and the action would be powerful enough of we know we have enough backups to thwart the difficulties! Smooth navigation is of utmost necessity for clarity of a goingon!
Thank you very much
When I learned about the MBTI categories, it was very interesting but also more simple. Could you direct me to info about second and third functions? I don't know what that could be...
creating a video today! Will be live next week :)
Brilliant!
omg i cried
Thank you
Ouch. Yikes. That was a little too accurate. 😥💔❤️🩹
Danke Wenzes ❤ ich habe auch einen ähnlichen Werdegang als Flüchtling in Deutsch aufgewachsen. Ich habe sejr viel Anlehnung benommen auch von Eltern als INFJ etc. Wie hast du dein inneres Kind spezifisch geheilt wenn es um Gruppen und vorallem deine Rolle in der Arbeit zu finden? Ich habe immer Angst, dass die Dynamik komisch wird irgendwann weil ich etwas anders mache ...
Thanks!
Very Generous of you that is awesome :):):):):):):):):):)
I've never was normal I was extremely shy
Can someone write down the points pls 😅😅
No explanation of TI?
Video on our functions is coming out on Wednesday 👍
You should have started at 13:00.
Well! It seems the rest of the video somewhat explains my questions, not quite but some! I have some experience, and it shows me one particular bizarre thing. And this is that there are some people who cannot be pleased.... A simple statement, with very long effects. If it is too cold and you warm it, now it is too hot. Cool it it more, now there is too much wind! Eliminate the wind, and now it is too still, or the ground is too hard, or the chair is too low or the desk is too high! All this is so very likely, 🤕🙄🤔. It is difficult to get this thru a normal brain, I
n a reasonable period of time. But it is true. Some people CANNOT be pleased. I think some take it as a point of pride, that if their ludicrous, impossible demands are not immediately received, then this is proof that they a perfect and 'I am not wrong, but THE WORLD IS WRONG!' I have actually heard those words spoken.
what is TI??
Introverted Thinking, (cognitive function)
❤😔
What the hell is INFJ
👦🏻
Why don't you find out about Islam. And you can compare the Quran and the Bible. In Islam, Jesus is a prophet, not a god.
And God is one, not three.
1st comment
Ok this has been a waste of time as I do not know what any of this is
You’re practicing interjection a little bit too much. Concerning..
Well there are 16 personalities. She is speaking on behalf of a personality that has tens of millions of people. Scientifically personality types have 80% similarity. If you disagree I would be surprised because that implies you are smarter then the psychologists social scientists and psychoanalysts who spend decades developing this formula. In fact we are now on over 100 years of research into the Myers Briggs starting from Isabella Briggs Myers in the 1920s.
@@bamgold4677 Gut formuliert, aber die dargelegte Perspektive, ich wäre intelligenter als die angeführten Fachleute, schmeichelt zwar, ist jedoch rein nur deine Interpretation. Ich denke, dass es, rein wissenschaftlich betrachtet, kaum bis gar nicht möglich ist für zig millionen Menschen zu sprechen und derartig zu verallgemeinern. Ganz persönliche Empfindungen von, meinetwegen wissenschaftlich ausgearbeiteten Fakten, wie auch die Definition dessen als Tatsache hinzustellen für einen kompletten Persönlichkeitstypen, wohlgemerkt, dass die angeführten Punkte, deiner Meinung nach, mit 80% der anderen Typen übereinstimmen sollen, finde ich als Standpunkt - sagen wir - kreativ ausgelegt.
@@eminak4351Check out INTJ your on the wrong Sub.
I am reading your words literally. I apologise for the same. "Scientifically"? MBTI is not 'scientific'. It is perhaps in the domain of Psychology? In my world, she is expressing her world view.
@@ajaykapoor1894 Yes, you’re right but psychology is also a part of science, at least here. It’s called Geisteswissenschaften. And I agree that she’s only speaking from her point of view but she tries to make facts out of her own opinion and that’s just silly. Furthermore she is projecting her own weaknesses onto others and states those as results of her research.
F.L.Y.=first love yourself❤
Hey! I like that!
Thank you 🙏