*NEW SUMMER 2024* I now offer self-guided *online courses* to help women of ANY age and experience level CRUSH those single streets FASTER and more efficiently! 🙂 Check out my course offerings here 👉 www.boyfriendblueprint.com/courses
I Won't call and text a lot but i love my partner, some guys are different, i have bad experiences in the past being 'too close' and i have 27, maybe i'm getting old
Two years into the relationship and he says he can't afford a ring, yet. I said I don't need a ring, but he insists. Then, he spends hundreds+ on toys for himself.
I used to think he didn’t understand , that if I just said something different, he would have a moment of understanding and things would get better. And he always walked a fine line. He would be kind and even flattering sometimes. But he most often wasn’t there for me, didn’t do things with me. Made me feel alone. And I found out he was cheating. I’m not saying a guy is always cheating, but that when you love someone, it’s hard to admit when they don’t care enough and walk away. They’re not going to change. Once a guy checks out, they don’t care what you say. And they don’t change. Don’t wait around to be treated like that and waste years on being ignored.
Have you considered that he can't make you feel one way or another? Maybe think about how you are in charge of your feelings. He's not making you feel alone. You feel alone. The reason why he can't fix your issues is because nobody can fix your issues for you. You have to love yourself. You have to fix your own issues and fill your own inner well with self love.
Mike Haftel , that’s a bit like saying “sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never hurt me.” It’s very “in “ right now to say things like “no one can make you feel anything” but I think, if that’s true, you’re dealing with a sociopath. People can cause other people hurt. That’s a fact. Like, when your SO says they love you but makes plans with his friends and tells you that his work makes planning something with you impossible. All the time. Or making empty promises about the future. When you love that person you feel alone. And, yes, it’s at that point it’s up to you to love yourself and leave. But then what about something like narcissistic abuse? Where you’re slowly stripped of that? It just really gets me when someone judges that another person is “letting another person hurt them.” They’re already going through pain. They need to understand that pain and to know that they are stronger than that pain and that they will be ok because losing things that aren’t good for you is a good thing and enjoying life without a partner is a healthy thing, but you can find love again. Not be told they have something wrong in them for feeling pain over how they’re neglected. You may be a great partner and can’t fathom emotional abuse. I didn’t even know what “narcissistic abuse” was until experiencing it first hand. I never would have thought it could happen to me. It’s small manipulations little lies, gradual changes. But there I was, putting my feelings and his behavior in a google search. And it took knowing and understanding what I had been through to help me recover. I would want the same for the OP, for her to know it’s not her fault for being mistreated, but that she can take charge and decide she wants better for herself.
Is it wrong to watch these videos even though you feel like he is doing his part and you’re doing your part and the both of you are happy? I mean it’s always good to learn this information.
My boyfriend makes me feel angry. I feel disgusted every time he’s around. I feel like he’s going nowhere in life and like he tricked me into this relationship and turned into a completely different person . I’ve tried breaking up with him many times but each time he acts so pathetic I feel bad and can’t follow through 100%. It’s horrible that I’m not strong enough to stick to it because as unfair as having to suffer through staying in the relationship is to me, it’s unfair to him too. I feel like everything about him is toxic to me. When you said the “doesn’t mean he’s a terrible person, he’s just terrible for you” that is EXACTLY how I feel.
So leave! the pathetic act is to stir up your womanly compassion, don't let him use you like this! It will only get worse, you are betraying your own wisdom.
He is a terrible person and he will be that way to any woman he's with I know this because the last guy I dated was the same way history repeats itself. Your left with the feelings you developed from his fake ass behavior, then blind sided with the feelings of wtf went wrong. Then to resentment borderline hate for making you apart of his disfunction move on baby.
I was stressed. I know he was younger so I made up my mind to be more patient and understanding, but I felt like I couldn't let my guard down around him, he kept testing my boundaries, he had no ambition/life goals, we had nothing in common, he told me that my expectations were "unrealistic." Glad that's over.
@@nalaa9618 It took me 3 dates to figure it out.. love bombing, wanting to see me every couple of days, sending gifts, huge over the top compliments, grandiose confident personality, bragging/name dropping. Never asked about me, avoided eye contact, made promises about the future within the first meeting. It was SO obvious.
We live in a patriarchal, sexist society. Until we learn to treat each other properly these problems will continue. Knowledge is power. Get out of bad relationships.
@@lars1296 Women were forced to enter the workforce when the men went to war. All women had jobs and places in ancient society and beyond - that didn't change until Christianity came about and began torturing and murdering women. Take a history course sometime, unless you're allergic to facts. Women babying boys, not holding them accountable, or giving them responsibility has turned them into narcissists.
@@xejelah There was plenty of women getting tortured before christianity, rape babies were one of the largest sources of slaves for empires back before Christianity was wide spread in any sense, and even before it's creation
Tired, Negative, Uncomfortable and uneasy is how he made me feel. He's just a downer. Not trying for this guy. I don't respect him. He was just was a draining person.
My bf is really odd. He has no friends and an extreme introvert. Yes at the beginning he was communicating everyday asking great questions, interested etc After 6 months that stopped and I felt he was pushing me away. I tried to break up twice, he cried and begged me to stay. He said he is very happy in our relationship and it just shifted from honeymoon to normal relationship. The thing is nothin flows with this guy, communication doesn’t flow and his energy makes me uncomfortable as he’s quite moody and I never feel I’m good enough. Bottom line is..he doesn’t have much of a personality, but Sex is great!!! I don’t think sex should be the reason for me to stay
WOW I think I'm in the same situation. My bf (maybe I can call him an ex now) is oddly similar to what you described your bf above. One good thing is he moved to LA last month and I'm still here in Northern California. We still communicate through texts and phone calls but attitude and personality wise, he is still the same.
Well, he's happy but you're not. Has to be mutual happy, or it's not on. Let him go. Never mind crying, that's just desperation, not love. Be gentle, but start planning your exit.
Mine is an introvert and has literally no time for me bc of his video games! He gets to moody but like the first few months he texted me all day but now I try texting him like paragraphs and he replies with K, Ok, or Kool. And he keeps accusing me of cheating and wouldn’t let me have ANY guy friends!!! I even feel the need that I have to ask him if I can hang out with people!!! It’s soooo stressing!! I tried breaking up with him but he kept begging and begging for me to stay but I don’t think it’s the right thing to be with him! 😒😒😒😔😔😔😣😖😤
He makes me feel confused. He sends mixed signals. He doesn’t match my energy and seems way less emotionally invested than I am. Our conversations are still in the small talk phase, and we’ve already had like 5 dates.
We were in the same boat. I told him that I'm confused and asked him what his intention was one day because I just got fed up with him texting me only whenever he likes, to which he replied to immediately, but he just said sorry and said that work has been keeping him occupied and that he has been resting on the weekends. Why bother dating when you can't even invest a bit of time in getting to know someone. I have not replied him ever since and it's been about a week now. Not sure if I should've politely said good bye.
I was with a Narcissist. Abusive physically and emotionally. It then became an on n off thing which I just put a stop to. Lies, gaslighting, emotional abuse. Once he gets what he wants he ghosts leaving me feeling used and discarded until the next time he decides to contact me. Great video. Truly Ryan I love your videos. Great content. Btw Merry Christmas. ❤️
I didn't feel heard or supported. He never supported me emotionally. I lost 3 family members suddenly in the course of a year, and every time I reached out he was never there for me. He was always awkward about my emotional moments, and never wanted to deal with it. In moments when I was super vulnerable he would negate my feelings, and often didn't seem to realize it.
Reunited with ex, my greatest love from over 20 years ago. Dillusionally! He was a figment of my imagination. He calls two & three times a day but has nothing much to say. Implies he wants more with me when he’s drunk, but never really speaks seriously. You’re basically describing us. He said all great things about me- cooking, home decor, great lover, etc. Two months in he’s insulting me. We’re not in a committed relationship so I AM going out (seeking a gentleman better suited for me.) My GUT is screaming!
Ex: made me feel worthless, confused, not good enough. He lied and cheated on me. My best friend: makes me feel loved, honored, we are understanding, we have a bond. The only thing is I don’t want a label or a relationship. Mainly because I want to work on myself first but also because I don’t want commitment with this guy.
I shared this video in a couple of divorce FB groups that I’m in. I love the advice you give and how it’s always from a point of view of female empowerment. A lot of us are healing and need the reminders that we should value ourselves. So many of your videos talk about being happy with who we are, but I also appreciate the insight into men’s psyche. It makes it so that we can decode them better which can keep us from changing who we are to make them like us. It’s sooo important for a lot of us women to break the codependent cycle! So THANK TOU!
This basically discussed Narcissistic Abuse, if you’re currently going through in, run as fast as you can!!!!! It’s emotionally and psychologically draining. Gosh!!! Experienced it for 13 months, it was horroble!!!
He was saying rude stuff and even talking about a woman at the end of the bar...just super in appropriate. I ended up sobbing in my car and told him I need to break up. He really hurt my heart, because I thought so highly of him. I did end up giving him more time and chances but now have pulled way back. And considering putting myself out there for new opportunities. He needs to bring more love, attention and respect to this woman in order to be my man.
The flip side of this is that I doubt he knows how he is making me feel... I don't think it is on purpose...I mean I would hate to think he is a mean guy. I also feel like this relationship isn't a priority when he doesn't make plans on a regular basis? It's difficult because there's a lot of good... FTMP he is an amazing person...Just some stuff we needed to talk over...but we text more than talk in person. And that doesn't work for me. When we only spend one day a week together...i get lonely... Makes me vulnerable to the advances of men... I'm not looking for them but if I am always doing things alone...or with friends...well guys know when a woman is vulnerable and their man isn't around.
I had to walk away. I found out he's dependent on his Mom financially. He's almost 50. He's not motivated to get another job. He claims he was laid off. I started feeling like I was putting in too much energy. I also felt like he was starting to test boundaries to see what I'll let him get away with. The first time he left me hanging, we talked, he claimed it was a misunderstanding and he would do better. This past Sunday, he called, I wasn't available, I called him back, he never called me or texted me back. I don't need that drama. My 19 year old son has more motivation. I definitely don't want to support an overgrown Mama's boy. Like Beyonce, " to the left, to the left".
Omg!!! I was going through your video and came to this one. Parallel parking!!!! Came home, late night from work. Bf of 15 years and my daughter ( not his) was in the home. We live in the Midwest so messy snow every where. I have to be careful on how I park on the street. Soon as I get in the door he talks smack about it and says he was laugh g and always does when I parallel park. No hello , or nothing. He is toxic, we can’t communicate.... gotta end it
Ryan, thank you for pointing out so many things in this video that were key points that led to the end of my previous relationship. I know now that I wasn't acting crazy when asking him questions. He just wanted to make me feel that way.
Communication, compassion, commitment, common values. These are the four big C's that I noticed make for a good relationship. If any of that is missing, things go sour.
I use to always ignore my gut. Thinking he can change that it’s fine. BIG mistake😪 and thinking there’s something wrong with me. Thinking maybe I’m just not enough. I’m still lost because I’m in a complicated situation 😞
Thank you for this! ..my bf puts me down in private a lot.. weather calling me a name or something else.. but then he will try to justify it by saying, "oh it's normal for couples to fight and call each other names" when I don't even call him names...or even think about it cuz I care too much.. I knew deep down inside he wasn't the guy for me.. but It is hard to leave someone when you're into deep with them.
I thought I was going insane with his lies. I questioned my own sanity. I finally caught him in a lie. I actually saw what he was doing and he lied!! Crazy! He lies about things he doesn't need to lie about. Grrr. I'm looking for my own place and live in peace.
I feel like he was really rude after we got together. Even my friends see that. He never responds to my texts. He was really negative about me and him. I did not like how he treated our teacher. He puts me down sometimes whenever his with his friends he is really rude. My gut is telling me to go.
Omg thank you Ryan, I just realized the guy I so called liked is toxic. He just never ever gave me any attention but he just always wanted me around sort of like a lap dog. Idk why I allowed it for so long. I think I realized that just cause I care about that person doesn’t mean I put myself in the back burner. Why? I’ve learned that that’s not healthy and I deserve more
He makes me feel like he wants me only when someone else notices me. Like he knows I'm a prize, but only wants to make an effort if he sees someone else eyeing his prize. Otherwise, I belong on a dusty shelf somewhere for him to feel safe that he won me.
He makes me feel attractive, smart and pretty while I’m with him. When I’m not with him I feel unsure and always kind of scared he’s flirting with other girls. I’m also unsure about our connection, again when we’re together it’s all good but when separated it feels somewhat off.
When we are together in bed it feels great when we are in public our out the house doesn't feel that great and when he leaves and is gone (we live 1.5h away from each other) i feel not good.
Thanks yes had that vibe with his friends left that one, at the time I could not believe it was happening. No respect for me when with his friends. I feel embarrassed that I went out with him.
I think it's great that you offer this valuable information. I personally made the decision to remain single i.e no dating or marriage over 10 years ago. Listening to this video let's me know I made the right decision.
Deeeeamn! Finally! I want to throw this video into my friends face because he tells me that I am to fussy! And well, all I did was listening to my intuition🤷♀️ Such a great video ❤️!
Can you make a video about how to break up with a guy who is not right for you. How to stick to your guns and end the relationship. Is it ok to do in a text, on a call, or in person? Need your help.
He gives me a weird feeling cause he doesn’t really say anything, and when he does it’s off color and he often ignores what I say as if I never opened my mouth. This is the second date, and I’m done.
I wish I listened to you 2 years ago! My ex was terrible for me. I was blind to so much. I wish more females and males would realize the red flags first. You are very helpful. I encourage others to watch you too.
Wish you sat me down and told me all this when I was 30 year old!!! Girls need to hear this. My husband used to put me down in front of others and I would say that is inappropriate for you to do. He would say oh I was just "teasing you", you are too sensitive. Many times he would make me feel bad about myself, After a while I realized he was a narcissist. Never knew what gas lighting was,, but learned the hard way. All the lies I discover OMG ...I finally got rid of him and am so much happier in my life. Bless you. 🥰💛
I lost my husband to cancer in 2019. I now know that I jumped back into dating far too soon, trying to deal with my grief using distraction. After a few months of this, I ran into an old friend of my late husband. I felt an interest, and a closeness to him due to his friendship with Eddie. We moved way too quickly into dating and living together. I do care for him, but I realize I didn’t give myself time to heal and I truly feel while he’s a great guy, he will never be the one. I don’t know if there would ever be another. I’ve tried talking with him about it all, he gets very hurt and essentially begs me to stay, I give in because it is very hard for me to hurt others- but- I also know that if I stay I’ll never get the chance to heal my grief and potentially meet my second chapter, and frankly, it is just unfair to him. He’s really a decent guy, but does have jealousy issues that made me uncomfortable. Any advice on how to just rip off the band aid?
I have just watched this video. Practically everything you mentioned happened to me. I am 44 years old now. Shame I didn't know about this in my 20's and 30's I have subscribed to your channel. Hopefully at some point I might try dating again 🤔
Denial sucks once it's over...😒 I'm just glad I gave myself the time to work through it. This video came out around the time my breakup happened. Totally different place now, but I'm so thankful to have these videos that help me reflect and know that I'm on the right track. Thanks Ryan! ❤❤❤
I feel like it's great one day, and then all of a sudden he gets really closed off in conversation when we're not together. We are in the early stages of talking (a few months, we are together all the time) and he tells me he is worried about if he can trust me but I told him that I am only talking to him in this way. He has been telling me that I like attention from lots of people, but that's how I am in a social setting and I have told him that I love talking to people and how I am. I am loyal to whom I have feelings for. Now I feel pushed away because I feel like there's nothing I can do...
Thank you for explaining about Entrainment. I am in the middle of a divorce right now and a big part of it is my husband is sooo low energy and depressed. He's always been that way to a greater or lesser degree. He's on medication now but it's only done so much. I've always felt like I had to carry the load of the relationship. My natural upbeat and energetic outlook just gets sucked away when I'm with him for any length of time It's exhausting. It is very hard to be going through this but I know that it's the right thing
I feel guilty when he says he loves me. I just don't feel the same anymore. I feel like I kinda had to change a bit of who I am to please him and there's just things about him that I can't get over.
Thank you for videos. You helped me figure out why my last relationships failed especially one that was mentally abusive. Please continue making your videos!
He made me sad, hurt my feelings. If he got mad, he'd bring up my painful past and use it against me. I cried more than I smiled in the relationship. He always corrected me and talked about how his IQ was 160. He made me feel dumb.
The guy I was With made me feel drained out and very depressed, he was very selfish and only cared about his emotions. I never really got to open up my emotions to him because he always had something going on, when I broke up with him, he didn't really care he just tried to make me feel sorry him by telling really sad stories, and he just let me go 😔 he deleted all his social media. He only destroyed me as person and changed me into someone very different.
When we‘re both happy and having good mental health days, I feel happy, he‘s still stand offish though, when he‘s having a bad day I hate him and he‘s rude, ignores my efforts to help and criticizes everything I do. On my bad days he makes me feel worse and makes me not feel worthy of anything. I‘ve had multiple friends tell me to leave him and that he‘s toxic and yet mutual friends tell me that there‘s nothing wrong. I don‘t know what to do.
We are both single parents, he's not ready to commit because when we met 1.5 years ago, he was going through a divorce. We've recently had 2 dates that were MAGICAL and every time I'm with him, it feels so good. It's peaceful, easy, care-free, loving, but it doesn't feel easy when we're apart.
I have been dating the wrong person for 4-5 months. On and off. I gave him 3 chances, it was too many. He promised to give me what i wanted in a relationship, but didnt give it to me.... So now i broke up with him again! And it will stay that way.
So this guy makes me feel special, valued and accepted. 😊 my parent's like him even though, cause of quaranteen we haven't met in person nor my parent's just on video.
He's always suspicious of me, and it's good being with him. He's funny and he's mature but he's never trusting me and pushing me down. And I know he loves me but it's just like he's treating me like a child, like lecturing me about what I'm doing wrong and then ends the conversation.
I suffered gaslighting & triangulation with my ex narcissist over 40 yrs. It caused low self worth. I see this with the current partner and I feel blamed and labelled
Thank you you hit every point. I keep telling him I don't want to be with him and he. All's from different numbers. Guess I'll have to change that too.😊
My ex just made me feel disappointed all the time. Making promises and never seeing them through or behaving like a completely different person around his friends to the point where I'd feel like a total gooseberry. More than that though was the feeling that can only be described as 'meh'... He didn't want to do anything other than stay up all night playing video games or drinking with friends, then sleep all day. We watched films and ate dinner together. Reached the point that, when we would have those very few day trips, we had nothing to say to each other.
He had told me a month in that he told his parents and friends about me. When I was over at his house his dad texted him and he told me he ask what he was doing. So he texted back I’m on a date dad.. so I waited a second and thought about it and asked him if his parents knew about me wouldn’t he just say he’s hanging out with Alyssa? He knew I caught him and pulled me in and said oh no they just know I’m dating SOMEONE. Right.
If he makes me feel ABUSED, ANGRY, UNCOMFORTABLE, TENSION, NERVOUS, on the FIRST PHONE CALL, that is my blessing from God to RUN! Remember what Ryan said everyone supposedly this is his. BEST’!
I get anxious as soon as he wakes up and when he gets home from work. He is inconsistent with attending to my needs (which I've expressed to him clearly and calmly, countless times over the past 3 years) and is usually only attentive when he thinks he may lose me. It leaves me feeling confused and hurt.
I don’t think my boyfriend is the right one for me because of theses simple reasons 1:All he wants is sex 2:He ignores me when he doesn’t get what he wants 3:He likes me a Certain way like a look 4:I just don’t think he cares about me...
We are about 1 month in. Have only seen each other less than a handful of times. He's very introverted; I'm not. I recently brought up the 5 Love Languages and told him my top 2. He understands that he doesn't communicate well and says "his heart is jaded from his past." Now that I've communicated to him my top 2 languages, I'm backing off and giving him space to read more as he said he would. But to answer your question in your video, when together, we have fun, laugh, and are intimate. When we don't see each other, I told him I feel more lonely because my tank is empty. Hardly any communication/texts throughout the day/week. I feel as If I'm running on E all the time. Explained that to him. We shall see if any effort on his part is made. Sad, hard to find men my age (50+) these days.
First reason already applies. I can’t say that the second thing doesn’t happen. Third reason, he doesn’t even try to help me arrange a meet up. Forth NEVER happened. Fifth, I really don’t want to hurt him though. He tells me he loves me.
*NEW SUMMER 2024*
I now offer self-guided *online courses* to help women of ANY age and experience level CRUSH those single streets FASTER and more efficiently! 🙂
Check out my course offerings here 👉 www.boyfriendblueprint.com/courses
If you’re researching videos like this , you already know he’s the wrong one
Alyssa Mohammed 😱🤔🤭👍🏼
#truth
True 😔
Yeah now I know...
Well that saves time lol.
My ex made me feel I wasn’t good enough. Now he wants me to take him back. I said No.
I’m happier without him in my life.
Yes!! Same. Glad you moved on! 😄
Did you ever take him back?
@@faithlala8741 nope
He makes me feel neglected and unimportant. He won’t call or text for days but when we’re together, he’s very attentive. I don’t get it.
Veronica Carrasco same. I don’t get that behavior..
NEXT! 😉
I Won't call and text a lot but i love my partner, some guys are different, i have bad experiences in the past being 'too close' and i have 27, maybe i'm getting old
He may not be into phone calls and texts ,I hate them too
I don't like communicating over text 😩🙏
Men suck sometimes
Need a psychology degree to get in a relationship now
Me too
I have a Psychology degree and I still got sucked into a narcissistic relationship!
Denise Siddon hahah
😂😂😂
Yeah🤣
Two years into the relationship and he says he can't afford a ring, yet. I said I don't need a ring, but he insists. Then, he spends hundreds+ on toys for himself.
Yess same here .. just dumped his ass
Boy do I wish they taught this in school! Your videos cover so many important life lessons ~
Thanks Diana! Yes, I like to think some of this stuff is important lol 😄
I agree on so many levels!!!
It'd have saved me a lot of heartache. My mother was no help!!
I'm thankful Ryan Patrick, for your wisdom. It hurts to know these signs, but your honesty is appreciated 💘
100% I couldn’t agree more
His energy is grumpy and heavy, as if he has problem with the whole world! and you are right I felt drained eventually.
musima41 Exactly.
musima41 I was with a guy like this and never again
I even tried being friends with him. It just doesn’t work
He makes me feel alone. I feel like I’m unsupported, and when I talk to him about it he doesn’t fix the issues.
Cut him loose, he's not worthy of you!
I used to think he didn’t understand , that if I just said something different, he would have a moment of understanding and things would get better. And he always walked a fine line. He would be kind and even flattering sometimes. But he most often wasn’t there for me, didn’t do things with me. Made me feel alone. And I found out he was cheating. I’m not saying a guy is always cheating, but that when you love someone, it’s hard to admit when they don’t care enough and walk away. They’re not going to change. Once a guy checks out, they don’t care what you say. And they don’t change. Don’t wait around to be treated like that and waste years on being ignored.
Same here
Have you considered that he can't make you feel one way or another? Maybe think about how you are in charge of your feelings. He's not making you feel alone. You feel alone. The reason why he can't fix your issues is because nobody can fix your issues for you. You have to love yourself. You have to fix your own issues and fill your own inner well with self love.
Mike Haftel , that’s a bit like saying “sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never hurt me.” It’s very “in “ right now to say things like “no one can make you feel anything” but I think, if that’s true, you’re dealing with a sociopath. People can cause other people hurt. That’s a fact. Like, when your SO says they love you but makes plans with his friends and tells you that his work makes planning something with you impossible. All the time. Or making empty promises about the future. When you love that person you feel alone. And, yes, it’s at that point it’s up to you to love yourself and leave. But then what about something like narcissistic abuse? Where you’re slowly stripped of that? It just really gets me when someone judges that another person is “letting another person hurt them.” They’re already going through pain. They need to understand that pain and to know that they are stronger than that pain and that they will be ok because losing things that aren’t good for you is a good thing and enjoying life without a partner is a healthy thing, but you can find love again. Not be told they have something wrong in them for feeling pain over how they’re neglected. You may be a great partner and can’t fathom emotional abuse. I didn’t even know what “narcissistic abuse” was until experiencing it first hand. I never would have thought it could happen to me. It’s small manipulations little lies, gradual changes. But there I was, putting my feelings and his behavior in a google search. And it took knowing and understanding what I had been through to help me recover. I would want the same for the OP, for her to know it’s not her fault for being mistreated, but that she can take charge and decide she wants better for herself.
Is it wrong to watch these videos even though you feel like he is doing his part and you’re doing your part and the both of you are happy? I mean it’s always good to learn this information.
His mood changes very fast, he acts like he loves me one second then it's like his mood changes about me
My boyfriend makes me feel angry. I feel disgusted every time he’s around. I feel like he’s going nowhere in life and like he tricked me into this relationship and turned into a completely different person . I’ve tried breaking up with him many times but each time he acts so pathetic I feel bad and can’t follow through 100%. It’s horrible that I’m not strong enough to stick to it because as unfair as having to suffer through staying in the relationship is to me, it’s unfair to him too.
I feel like everything about him is toxic to me. When you said the “doesn’t mean he’s a terrible person, he’s just terrible for you” that is EXACTLY how I feel.
So leave! the pathetic act is to stir up your womanly compassion, don't let him use you like this! It will only get worse, you are betraying your own wisdom.
I feel you..
Keelz Smith if you want to get taken advantage of by someone dependent and passive, get a dog or a baby. At least they are loyal and loving.
If he is going nowhere in his life, he is also going nowhere in the relationship.
I left my 30 yo boyfriend when he decided to do nothing in his life.
He is a terrible person and he will be that way to any woman he's with I know this because the last guy I dated was the same way history repeats itself.
Your left with the feelings you developed from his fake ass behavior, then blind sided with the feelings of wtf went wrong.
Then to resentment borderline hate for making you apart of his disfunction move on baby.
I was stressed. I know he was younger so I made up my mind to be more patient and understanding, but I felt like I couldn't let my guard down around him, he kept testing my boundaries, he had no ambition/life goals, we
had nothing in common, he told me that my expectations were "unrealistic." Glad that's over.
Short: If you meet narcissist just run as fast you can ;)
You can't detect a narcissist in the beginning. Often times it's already too late, bc these fuckers are smart
Victoria Lewis true. Takes me about a month. I do leave once I notice
Used to take me 6 mos- a year
Took me 3 years to realize mine was.. now I’m trying to heal.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
@@nalaa9618 It took me 3 dates to figure it out.. love bombing, wanting to see me every couple of days, sending gifts, huge over the top compliments, grandiose confident personality, bragging/name dropping. Never asked about me, avoided eye contact, made promises about the future within the first meeting. It was SO obvious.
We live in a patriarchal, sexist society. Until we learn to treat each other properly these problems will continue. Knowledge is power. Get out of bad relationships.
Rebecca Jones No we don’t. Women entering the workforce has actually hurt young men. Mothers have a major influence on boys.
@@lars1296 Women were forced to enter the workforce when the men went to war. All women had jobs and places in ancient society and beyond - that didn't change until Christianity came about and began torturing and murdering women. Take a history course sometime, unless you're allergic to facts. Women babying boys, not holding them accountable, or giving them responsibility has turned them into narcissists.
xejelah THIS
@@xejelah There was plenty of women getting tortured before christianity, rape babies were one of the largest sources of slaves for empires back before Christianity was wide spread in any sense, and even before it's creation
Tired, Negative, Uncomfortable and uneasy is how he made me feel. He's just a downer. Not trying for this guy. I don't respect him. He was just was a draining person.
My bf is really odd. He has no friends and an extreme introvert. Yes at the beginning he was communicating everyday asking great questions, interested etc After 6 months that stopped and I felt he was pushing me away. I tried to break up twice, he cried and begged me to stay. He said he is very happy in our relationship and it just shifted from honeymoon to normal relationship. The thing is nothin flows with this guy, communication doesn’t flow and his energy makes me uncomfortable as he’s quite moody and I never feel I’m good enough. Bottom line is..he doesn’t have much of a personality, but Sex is great!!! I don’t think sex should be the reason for me to stay
Exactly. Can you imagine a lifetime of this?
Delicia Darby Run, girl, run! He is not going to change
WOW I think I'm in the same situation. My bf (maybe I can call him an ex now) is oddly similar to what you described your bf above. One good thing is he moved to LA last month and I'm still here in Northern California. We still communicate through texts and phone calls but attitude and personality wise, he is still the same.
Well, he's happy but you're not. Has to be mutual happy, or it's not on.
Let him go. Never mind crying, that's just desperation, not love. Be gentle, but start planning your exit.
Mine is an introvert and has literally no time for me bc of his video games! He gets to moody but like the first few months he texted me all day but now I try texting him like paragraphs and he replies with K, Ok, or Kool. And he keeps accusing me of cheating and wouldn’t let me have ANY guy friends!!! I even feel the need that I have to ask him if I can hang out with people!!! It’s soooo stressing!! I tried breaking up with him but he kept begging and begging for me to stay but I don’t think it’s the right thing to be with him! 😒😒😒😔😔😔😣😖😤
He makes me feel confused. He sends mixed signals. He doesn’t match my energy and seems way less emotionally invested than I am. Our conversations are still in the small talk phase, and we’ve already had like 5 dates.
Lauren, I have the same exact thing going on. It sucks!! ☹️
We were in the same boat. I told him that I'm confused and asked him what his intention was one day because I just got fed up with him texting me only whenever he likes, to which he replied to immediately, but he just said sorry and said that work has been keeping him occupied and that he has been resting on the weekends. Why bother dating when you can't even invest a bit of time in getting to know someone. I have not replied him ever since and it's been about a week now. Not sure if I should've politely said good bye.
So, basically, you already know it should be over and just haven't kicked him to the curb?
Wow, that energy thing really actually hit home.
I was in denial on so many levels.
I was with a Narcissist. Abusive physically and emotionally. It then became an on n off thing which I just put a stop to. Lies, gaslighting, emotional abuse. Once he gets what he wants he ghosts leaving me feeling used and discarded until the next time he decides to contact me. Great video. Truly Ryan I love your videos. Great content. Btw Merry Christmas. ❤️
Ryan, thank you for the kindness in which you deliver this great message. May God bless you always.
Thank you Clara 🙂
I didn't feel heard or supported. He never supported me emotionally. I lost 3 family members suddenly in the course of a year, and every time I reached out he was never there for me. He was always awkward about my emotional moments, and never wanted to deal with it. In moments when I was super vulnerable he would negate my feelings, and often didn't seem to realize it.
Reunited with ex, my greatest love from over 20 years ago. Dillusionally! He was a figment of my imagination. He calls two & three times a day but has nothing much to say. Implies he wants more with me when he’s drunk, but never really speaks seriously. You’re basically describing us. He said all great things about me- cooking, home decor, great lover, etc. Two months in he’s insulting me.
We’re not in a committed relationship so I AM going out (seeking a gentleman better suited for me.) My GUT is screaming!
I Am Done! Thanks
U go!!! 👏
When he "flakes" on you because he's married to the bottle.
Ex: made me feel worthless, confused, not good enough. He lied and cheated on me.
My best friend: makes me feel loved, honored, we are understanding, we have a bond. The only thing is I don’t want a label or a relationship. Mainly because I want to work on myself first but also because I don’t want commitment with this guy.
I shared this video in a couple of divorce FB groups that I’m in. I love the advice you give and how it’s always from a point of view of female empowerment. A lot of us are healing and need the reminders that we should value ourselves. So many of your videos talk about being happy with who we are, but I also appreciate the insight into men’s psyche. It makes it so that we can decode them better which can keep us from changing who we are to make them like us. It’s sooo important for a lot of us women to break the codependent cycle! So THANK TOU!
He makes me feel anxious...he says on thing and does something else
X2
Sounds like my guy jordan
This basically discussed Narcissistic Abuse, if you’re currently going through in, run as fast as you can!!!!! It’s emotionally and psychologically draining.
Gosh!!! Experienced it for 13 months, it was horroble!!!
My longest period was 6 months
That I experienced it
He was saying rude stuff and even talking about a woman at the end of the bar...just super in appropriate. I ended up sobbing in my car and told him I need to break up. He really hurt my heart, because I thought so highly of him. I did end up giving him more time and chances but now have pulled way back. And considering putting myself out there for new opportunities. He needs to bring more love, attention and respect to this woman in order to be my man.
The flip side of this is that I doubt he knows how he is making me feel... I don't think it is on purpose...I mean I would hate to think he is a mean guy. I also feel like this relationship isn't a priority when he doesn't make plans on a regular basis? It's difficult because there's a lot of good... FTMP he is an amazing person...Just some stuff we needed to talk over...but we text more than talk in person. And that doesn't work for me. When we only spend one day a week together...i get lonely... Makes me vulnerable to the advances of men... I'm not looking for them but if I am always doing things alone...or with friends...well guys know when a woman is vulnerable and their man isn't around.
I had to walk away. I found out he's dependent on his Mom financially. He's almost 50. He's not motivated to get another job. He claims he was laid off. I started feeling like I was putting in too much energy. I also felt like he was starting to test boundaries to see what I'll let him get away with. The first time he left me hanging, we talked, he claimed it was a misunderstanding and he would do better. This past Sunday, he called, I wasn't available, I called him back, he never called me or texted me back. I don't need that drama. My 19 year old son has more motivation. I definitely don't want to support an overgrown Mama's boy. Like Beyonce, " to the left, to the left".
@musima41 I cut my losses!! Thanks for your feedback.
Jesus, ripping off his retired mother is just heartless and pathetic :(
Sound like a pisces man
He sounds like he is depressed but you need to run🏃♀️
Omg!!! I was going through your video and came to this one. Parallel parking!!!! Came home, late night from work. Bf of 15 years and my daughter ( not his) was in the home. We live in the Midwest so messy snow every where. I have to be careful on how I park on the street. Soon as I get in the door he talks smack about it and says he was laugh g and always does when I parallel park. No hello , or nothing. He is toxic, we can’t communicate.... gotta end it
Ryan, thank you for pointing out so many things in this video that were key points that led to the end of my previous relationship. I know now that I wasn't acting crazy when asking him questions. He just wanted to make me feel that way.
Communication, compassion, commitment, common values. These are the four big C's that I noticed make for a good relationship. If any of that is missing, things go sour.
I use to always ignore my gut. Thinking he can change that it’s fine. BIG mistake😪 and thinking there’s something wrong with me. Thinking maybe I’m just not enough. I’m still lost because I’m in a complicated situation 😞
Thank you for this! ..my bf puts me down in private a lot.. weather calling me a name or something else.. but then he will try to justify it by saying, "oh it's normal for couples to fight and call each other names" when I don't even call him names...or even think about it cuz I care too much.. I knew deep down inside he wasn't the guy for me.. but It is hard to leave someone when you're into deep with them.
I thought I was going insane with his lies. I questioned my own sanity. I finally caught him in a lie. I actually saw what he was doing and he lied!! Crazy! He lies about things he doesn't need to lie about. Grrr. I'm looking for my own place and live in peace.
Can you give out some examples of wat you mean?
I feel like he was really rude after we got together. Even my friends see that. He never responds to my texts. He was really negative about me and him. I did not like how he treated our teacher. He puts me down sometimes whenever his with his friends he is really rude. My gut is telling me to go.
Omg thank you Ryan, I just realized the guy I so called liked is toxic. He just never ever gave me any attention but he just always wanted me around sort of like a lap dog. Idk why I allowed it for so long. I think I realized that just cause I care about that person doesn’t mean I put myself in the back burner. Why? I’ve learned that that’s not healthy and I deserve more
He makes me feel like he wants me only when someone else notices me. Like he knows I'm a prize, but only wants to make an effort if he sees someone else eyeing his prize. Otherwise, I belong on a dusty shelf somewhere for him to feel safe that he won me.
Pretty reassuring cause this means I'm right to be trusting my gut, feels amazing 😅
YES, YOU ARE! that's why it feels so good! your body knows what's good for you, trust your gut. Never believe anyone who puts your gut feelings down.
Anxious. I knew the whole time something was off & I think he played on my vulnerability after losing my mom.
He makes me feel attractive, smart and pretty while I’m with him. When I’m not with him I feel unsure and always kind of scared he’s flirting with other girls. I’m also unsure about our connection, again when we’re together it’s all good but when separated it feels somewhat off.
Same!!
Same
So you need to work on your self. Not his fault you’re insecure
Wow, mine does all of the above. I guess this is the confirmation I was looking for. THANK YOU!
He is not yours from the start if that's what he does
It's a deal-breaker for me what a guy guy won't ask questions about me.
I know I love him, he makes me happy, there are sometimes where I feel upset by him. But there’s this part of me that wants to let go and idk why
You have just described my last 2 relationships and the current relationship. WOW...
When we are together in bed it feels great when we are in public our out the house doesn't feel that great and when he leaves and is gone (we live 1.5h away from each other) i feel not good.
Thanks yes had that vibe with his friends left that one, at the time I could not believe it was happening. No respect for me when with his friends. I feel embarrassed that I went out with him.
I think it's great that you offer this valuable information.
I personally made the decision to remain single i.e no dating or marriage over 10 years ago.
Listening to this video let's me know I made the right decision.
Deeeeamn! Finally! I want to throw this video into my friends face because he tells me that I am to fussy! And well, all I did was listening to my intuition🤷♀️
Such a great video ❤️!
Can you make a video about how to break up with a guy who is not right for you. How to stick to your guns and end the relationship. Is it ok to do in a text, on a call, or in person? Need your help.
Every girl or guy wanting to date boys need to watch this channel from age 13 to 90 😄😃🙏 thanks for the tips. I just found it and subscribed!
This is awesome! Thanks, Valentina! 😄
He gives me a weird feeling cause he doesn’t really say anything, and when he does it’s off color and he often ignores what I say as if I never opened my mouth. This is the second date, and I’m done.
I wish I listened to you 2 years ago! My ex was terrible for me. I was blind to so much. I wish more females and males would realize the red flags first. You are very helpful. I encourage others to watch you too.
Wish you sat me down and told me all this when I was 30 year old!!! Girls need to hear this.
My husband used to put me down in front of others and I would say that is inappropriate for you to do. He would say oh I was just "teasing you", you are too sensitive. Many times he would make me feel bad about myself, After a while I realized he was a narcissist. Never knew what gas lighting was,, but learned the hard way. All the lies I discover OMG ...I finally got rid of him and am so much happier in my life. Bless you. 🥰💛
I lost my husband to cancer in 2019. I now know that I jumped back into dating far too soon, trying to deal with my grief using distraction.
After a few months of this, I ran into an old friend of my late husband. I felt an interest, and a closeness to him due to his friendship with Eddie.
We moved way too quickly into dating and living together. I do care for him, but I realize I didn’t give myself time to heal and I truly feel while he’s a great guy, he will never be the one. I don’t know if there would ever be another.
I’ve tried talking with him about it all, he gets very hurt and essentially begs me to stay, I give in because it is very hard for me to hurt others- but- I also know that if I stay I’ll never get the chance to heal my grief and potentially meet my second chapter, and frankly, it is just unfair to him.
He’s really a decent guy, but does have jealousy issues that made me uncomfortable.
Any advice on how to just rip off the band aid?
I have just watched this video.
Practically everything you mentioned happened to me.
I am 44 years old now. Shame I didn't know about this in my 20's and 30's
I have subscribed to your channel.
Hopefully at some point I might try dating again 🤔
Denial sucks once it's over...😒 I'm just glad I gave myself the time to work through it. This video came out around the time my breakup happened. Totally different place now, but I'm so thankful to have these videos that help me reflect and know that I'm on the right track. Thanks Ryan! ❤❤❤
Adios, Later, Bounce ...
I feel like it's great one day, and then all of a sudden he gets really closed off in conversation when we're not together. We are in the early stages of talking (a few months, we are together all the time) and he tells me he is worried about if he can trust me but I told him that I am only talking to him in this way. He has been telling me that I like attention from lots of people, but that's how I am in a social setting and I have told him that I love talking to people and how I am. I am loyal to whom I have feelings for. Now I feel pushed away because I feel like there's nothing I can do...
Thank you for explaining about Entrainment. I am in the middle of a divorce right now and a big part of it is my husband is sooo low energy and depressed. He's always been that way to a greater or lesser degree. He's on medication now but it's only done so much. I've always felt like I had to carry the load of the relationship. My natural upbeat and energetic outlook just gets sucked away when I'm with him for any length of time It's exhausting. It is very hard to be going through this but I know that it's the right thing
I have yet to find one guy who communicates in a timely manner, they're mostly all terrible!
I used to have the reversed problem lol
Boy this is good stuff…
I’m dumped my parter this week and a lot of the things you said my partner did
I feel guilty when he says he loves me. I just don't feel the same anymore. I feel like I kinda had to change a bit of who I am to please him and there's just things about him that I can't get over.
Thank you for videos. You helped me figure out why my last relationships failed especially one that was mentally abusive. Please continue making your videos!
Where was this video when I was dating my ex? Thanks for this! Will take note of this for my future boo 😊
I was in a relationship with a jealous guy for over a year. We have broken up and gotten back together dozens of times. We are talking again.
He made me sad, hurt my feelings. If he got mad, he'd bring up my painful past and use it against me. I cried more than I smiled in the relationship. He always corrected me and talked about how his IQ was 160. He made me feel dumb.
The guy I was With made me feel drained out and very depressed, he was very selfish and only cared about his emotions. I never really got to open up my emotions to him because he always had something going on, when I broke up with him, he didn't really care he just tried to make me feel sorry him by telling really sad stories, and he just let me go 😔 he deleted all his social media. He only destroyed me as person and changed me into someone very different.
Hahaha I loved when you said “adios “ 😂💕 thank you !
💖 I think if this is happening, it is end of story - better to wake up, to see you are not No 1- he will always put you down. Better to say good bye !
Ryan, thank you so much, i am so blessed to find you as one of the best coach on dating and life in general, keep up the good work man!!
When we‘re both happy and having good mental health days, I feel happy, he‘s still stand offish though, when he‘s having a bad day I hate him and he‘s rude, ignores my efforts to help and criticizes everything I do. On my bad days he makes me feel worse and makes me not feel worthy of anything. I‘ve had multiple friends tell me to leave him and that he‘s toxic and yet mutual friends tell me that there‘s nothing wrong. I don‘t know what to do.
We are both single parents, he's not ready to commit because when we met 1.5 years ago, he was going through a divorce. We've recently had 2 dates that were MAGICAL and every time I'm with him, it feels so good. It's peaceful, easy, care-free, loving, but it doesn't feel easy when we're apart.
I actually have a online boyfriend and I dont think he's actually 21....He acts like he's 9 but i'm so bad at getting rid of someone
Lol 😂
Ryan, you are the best! Thank you for sharing your personal and professional insights.
I was feeling I wasn't good enough for him . But there was a connection between the two of us .
I wish I saw this years ago. So much time wasted..These videos are very on point and validate my intuition even more...Thank you.
I have been dating the wrong person for 4-5 months. On and off. I gave him 3 chances, it was too many. He promised to give me what i wanted in a relationship, but didnt give it to me.... So now i broke up with him again! And it will stay that way.
I really love your advice and the way you explain things thank you so much! 😊
So this guy makes me feel special, valued and accepted. 😊 my parent's like him even though, cause of quaranteen we haven't met in person nor my parent's just on video.
He's always suspicious of me, and it's good being with him. He's funny and he's mature but he's never trusting me and pushing me down. And I know he loves me but it's just like he's treating me like a child, like lecturing me about what I'm doing wrong and then ends the conversation.
He loves being in control and probably thinks you can't make decisions on your own.
My ex made me feel uncomfortable and like I am not good enough and need to change....
OMG I did not know that entrainment was a thing. Explains a lot! Eye opening. Thanks!!
I suffered gaslighting & triangulation with my ex narcissist over 40 yrs.
It caused low self worth.
I see this with the current partner and I feel blamed and labelled
Thank you you hit every point. I keep telling him I don't want to be with him and he. All's from different numbers. Guess I'll have to change that too.😊
He is never sorry when he makes me cry.. And shouts and blames me even if he does sth wrong ..
😔 been there
girl, run 🙏🏽
My ex just made me feel disappointed all the time. Making promises and never seeing them through or behaving like a completely different person around his friends to the point where I'd feel like a total gooseberry. More than that though was the feeling that can only be described as 'meh'... He didn't want to do anything other than stay up all night playing video games or drinking with friends, then sleep all day. We watched films and ate dinner together. Reached the point that, when we would have those very few day trips, we had nothing to say to each other.
He had told me a month in that he told his parents and friends about me. When I was over at his house his dad texted him and he told me he ask what he was doing. So he texted back I’m on a date dad.. so I waited a second and thought about it and asked him if his parents knew about me wouldn’t he just say he’s hanging out with Alyssa? He knew I caught him and pulled me in and said oh no they just know I’m dating SOMEONE. Right.
If he makes me feel ABUSED, ANGRY, UNCOMFORTABLE, TENSION, NERVOUS, on the FIRST PHONE CALL, that is my blessing from God to RUN! Remember what Ryan said everyone supposedly this is his. BEST’!
The entrainment thing is so real
I get anxious as soon as he wakes up and when he gets home from work. He is inconsistent with attending to my needs (which I've expressed to him clearly and calmly, countless times over the past 3 years) and is usually only attentive when he thinks he may lose me. It leaves me feeling confused and hurt.
Sound like a pisces man
I don’t think my boyfriend is the right one for me because of theses simple reasons 1:All he wants is sex 2:He ignores me when he doesn’t get what he wants 3:He likes me a Certain way like a look 4:I just don’t think he cares about me...
We are about 1 month in. Have only seen each other less than a handful of times. He's very introverted; I'm not. I recently brought up the 5 Love Languages and told him my top 2. He understands that he doesn't communicate well and says "his heart is jaded from his past." Now that I've communicated to him my top 2 languages, I'm backing off and giving him space to read more as he said he would. But to answer your question in your video, when together, we have fun, laugh, and are intimate. When we don't see each other, I told him I feel more lonely because my tank is empty. Hardly any communication/texts throughout the day/week. I feel as If I'm running on E all the time. Explained that to him. We shall see if any effort on his part is made. Sad, hard to find men my age (50+) these days.
you sound so calm in thia video...love it!
20 years and I moved in with him 2 years ago. I didn't know him at all
AWESOME 💜👍👍👍 I’m newly dating and welcome the insight. 2 months and 3 dates in. Leaning back 😉
First reason already applies. I can’t say that the second thing doesn’t happen. Third reason, he doesn’t even try to help me arrange a meet up. Forth NEVER happened. Fifth, I really don’t want to hurt him though. He tells me he loves me.
I feel that everything I do is wrong, I feel I cannot step off of these toxic egg shells. I need solid ground to dance, I can’t dance anymore ..