@@AIrn6087 im thinking it wouldn’t be the show it is now I’m an idiot and even I laugh at the callers so in other words not as many people would tune in
Think before you leap. You have a good job and income for what sounds like a low cost semi rural area. You will need a 50 % or more increase in wages to have anywhere near the life you have now...maybe more with housing costs to live near a big city e as precisely if you plan on going to sporting events. Restaurants, etc. Will you get a job like that...who knows.. send out resumes and see. You have a wife and children all that costs more in a big city area plus c trips back home. Life stopped being about only you over a dozen years ago. Most people are unhappy in their job...but the grass is slwsys greener. Yes most members live lives of quiet desperation. Never having played the song in their heart...but at least the kids have food in their bellies and clothes on their backs and a roof over their head and a wife who knows the sacrifices you make/made. And that us priceless. Uour wife literally risked her life to bring forth your children...childbirth is still a potentially lethal process. Not as much as in the past but still no walk in the park. LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP. PEACE
@@voiceinthewildernesscrying8426 listening to this caller, he HAS been thinking it out... for years! He clearly has put a great deal of thought into a tough decision and clearly has taken his family's concerns into consideration. Though your advice is wise for someone who is impetuous, this caller had already figured this out; it's the impetus for his call.
Go go go!!! If you have this feeling, go with it! I had this feeling 6 years ago and went with it. Relocated to Japan and lived there for 4 years and started a RUclips channel. After missing family, I came back home. I loved living overseas and in a completely different country and came back with more appreciation for my home too. Now if I ever feel like leaving again, I will because I’ll know I can come back :) home is home 🏡
I’m from Monterrey Mexico, when I was 12 my parents told me we were going to the Beach in Texas. 4 months later they registered me in school “Just to learn English” Well, I’m still here married with 2 kids (16yr old twins) and until this video I just realized they never told me the truth 🤦🏻♀️. Now I appreciate my parents for what they did, I don’t think I would had agreed or be happy if they said we were moving.
MinerMovie, There is a time for everything but now is not the time. I have moved 23 years ago but that is after I can run a successful business anywhere in the world, money in my bank and not have to depend on jobs or fund from the banks. A pipe dream and reality , is 2 different thing. I did when I was 40years old , prior to that work, work ,work and save.
You never know unless you try, I relocated cross country 29 years ago to California, it was scary but exciting. I’ve been very successful and now I’m moving back to Pennsylvania to be near to family- but I know if I hadn’t tried I would have always wondered. If had tried and failed, at least I could tell myself I tried.
DK, With a job that pays that much, in a rural area, this is a different ball game. Why not take the next 3 years and save as much as you can, like $100k than relocate , say to Texas,florida, Louisiana ,Atlanta and buy a house cash, when the real estate tank in 2023 ( bottomed).
A few years ago I went out to California for a few weeks to visit friends. Fell in love with the place, decided I wanted to relocate out there. The more research I did, the more discouraged I got. I finally decided that the cost of living and the available jobs, or lack thereof, just made it too unattractive. I had a hard time justifying leaving all my family and a secure, relatively well paying job, to most likely get a job that made paid much less, in an area with a much higher cost of living.
Other way around for me. CA is so expensive but the weather, social services and diversity/lesser problem w racism is worth it for me. Lived in AZ, cheaper but My God, racism is so blatant. sometimes you have to pay more for better quality of life. since CA has better social services -- more jobs for paramedical and social work. It may not be a problem for some but I feel safer in CA being a minority. fewer Karens and my nephew needs to worry lesser abt bullying -- very diverse school system. That's worth paying more for me.
I live in Pennsylvania. I’m with him about leaving, but not for the same reasons. Tennessee is likely where we will be going in 2 years when my husband retires.
I moved from CT to TN 11 years ago and never looked back. TN has a lower cost of living and higher standard of living. The Northeast will tax you to death.
Husband and I left Massachusetts 23 years ago for 8 acres in rural central Tennessee. It was the best decision of our life. He is now retired, our home is paid off and we have a paid in full vacation property in a rural area of central Florida.
when i was 15 my father transferred from pittsburgh, pa to seattle, wa. i was open minded about it, and it totally changed my life! i had a MUCH better social life in high school, and live in the pacific northwest to this day. haven't set foot in PA since. not once, and i'm 58.
I had the opposite experience, I loved where I lived but wanted better career opportunities. I can't believe I waited so long to move relocate. Happily ever after 😁
I agree. I live in Miami, Florida and everyone wants to move here. But career wise there's nothing for me here (too competitive). I need to try a different state.
My husband and I moved from our home town in New Mexico to Texas, all for the same reasons as this guy. NM is a very rural and poor state with few opportunities for anything. I was miserable and home sick for two years. I stuck it out and now I would never go back. It's been 18 years. It was the best move we could have made.
Me and my husband live in Santa Fe, NM. It’s a great place to retire and that’s about it! We are looking to move to another state with our two little ones soon. We lived in Colorado, but came back to NM for family. Bad decision! We’ve been miserable ever since.
I feel the same way as this guy. I’ve been living in Miami, Florida since 1989. I need a fresh start as I have never had an easy time making true friends here.
I moved from NY to Miami 3 different times the 4 th Time was the charm. Never Gave up on my dream I love it here. No family and just co-workers my friends circle it's very small. And that's the way I like it. (you need a good job)
Do it you guys! I'm originally from Chicago, moved to a college town in Wisconsin, went to New York city for a bit...decided I want a rural life went to Wisconsin, Arizona now Michigan....most amazing experience and so inexpensive to live!
I agree with everything they said except when it comes to the kids. Moving your kids at critical ages like middle school does have a major affect on them, like not saying it should make the decision for you but the idea that it doesn't factor into the decision is absurd. Packing your kids up and moving them away from their family and from all their friends has a major impact on them.
Jesse Norwalt we had to make two huge moves during our kids Middle and high school years. They were resentful at first, but they all ended up agreeing that it was the best decision in the long run. Now as adults they feel like they can make a life anywhere. The funny thing is, none of them want to go back to where they have lived.
We relocated from NYC to Miami a few months ago as it has always been a dream of mine. My fiance wasn't completely sold on the move so the compromise was that we'd keep our NYC apartment and rent it out until we were both fully content with where we reside.
I’m also thinking of moving out of state from Queens. We own a two family house so my husband wants us to rent it out and move so we can test the waters. My husband is applying for remote jobs. I’m a teacher so I can teach anywhere. He makes way more than me so we can always try it out for a year and if we like wherever we go, I can then apply for a teachers license and get a job and stay permanently. Let’s see what happens because Corona has thrown a wrench in our economy.
@@JudePi-jx7yo still here and finally under contract to sell the NYC apartment, closing next month (fingers crossed). Best decision we ever made for ourselves..
I hold my breath for a second when someone brings up a non-financial question, wondering how Dave and guest will answer. ALWAYS, there is appropriate wisdom offered! Thanks, guys, for sharing your gifted thinking skills; great advice!
Been there done that! It does always look greener on the other side, warmer weather but if you can't find a job and you're making half the pay it's not worth it
Well, not if you want to go to a bar without having to get a driver. My friend lives within walking distance to several and it's extremely nice to not have to worry about that.
I live in Phoenix AZ and get upset if there isn’t a grocery store within like 5 to 7 minutes. I literally have several options, Walmart, Target, Sprouts, Frys, Safeway, and Winco, all within 10 minutes. Safeway is 2 minutes from me, Winco and Target are about 4, frys is about 10 and Walmart is like 6. A 20 minute drive to a grocery store is so not like able or appealing.
Please caller, don’t do anything rash! Put your resume out there to the locations you want to move to and see if *any* employer responds! You’re making great money, and I wouldn’t do anything crazy until this pandemic is over. Even before this virus my husband and I had a hard time finding work, and we both work in high demand fields! Take vacations as much as you can instead. Go on 3 day weekends with your wife and leave the kids home. Bring the kids on your longer vacations, but please, don’t do anything abruptly without seeing first if you can even get a job somewhere else!
It's so *refreshing* to hear a clear and CONCISE question being asked. Not a 5 minute roundabout question that leaves you wondering what they're even asking.
Like what you said starting at 3:45. Sometimes it does feel like you are obligated to have something forever when in reality you can always just sell it or move on. That really applies to alot of things in life
I moved from Wisconsin to PA 3 years ago and it is so such warmer in the winter. I barely notice it and added bonus my kids can actually play in the snow because its not -25 for many months
@@azoharadonis9452 Ya live near Pittsburgh too....the best advice I give myself each year, is if its nasty year round, use the horrible weather to my advantage. So I bike year round, and want to try cross country skiing and snowshoeing during the snowy season. Trying to figure out what I can do during the rain still. LOL. Wanted to move to NC, but hubby said no. 🙁
Stay!!! You have four young kids, you need your family nearby! Wait until you have an empty nest, just my advice. Living in a big city is VERY expensive and having four kids with zero yard will be tough, just my opinion,. We always THINK we want what we do not have.
His oldest kid is nearly old enough to babysit their siblings, they don’t really need their extended family close by. If the family wants to see the kids, they’re just a short plane ride away and likely visit whenever they want.
Wow you’re projecting...I’d recommend speaking with a therapist about some unresolved issues. The parents can easily find a babysitter in their new city. I grew up thousands of miles away from any extended family and it was fine. All I’m saying is you don’t need to stay close to extended family. They can come visit if they want to, in the new city. Find a sitter in your new church. It’s honestly not a big deal to live far away from family.
I think the caller said he wants to live just outside a big city. So he can definitely have a huge backyard in the suburbs of a city/metro area. I didn’t think he said he literally wants to live IN the city.
My husband and I went through. Considered leaving southeast Florida for years. Finally took the leap and we love where we love. Great for our kids. We do miss being near our family but they visit us, we visit them. Losing our family was the hardest part but we have no regrets.
Right. I was born and raised in LA, my whole family is here. Good job opportunities. love the weather, but the traffic is awful and where I'm at it's almost impossible to get a decent house under a million dollars. So I've had one foot in one foot out for a while thinking about uprooting
I'm moving next year out of country because of that exact reason. If I don't like it, I can always come back (not necessarily to the same area since I currently don't have roots where I'm living at the moment) but back to America at least. If I can recommend something, if you get a job in that new area, have a secure home you can move into and some money to make the move, do it. Because if you don't move, for the rest of your life you'll be thinking what if I had moved. Would my life be better?
Currently in a similar situation, we currently have decent jobs but even with that we cant afford a home in our area, i want to move but the wife refuses and wants to get into a 4k mortgage when thats more than 60% percent of our take home
This caller's situation waa mine. Twenty-five years ago my husband & I bought a small farm in a rural area. A few months after we moved there, I realized I didn't like it there at all . I have fought & pleaded with him for the past twenty years that I wanted to move but he liked it there so we stayed. Filing for separation now bc he never cared that I was miserable. Lesson here is don't stay where you are if you miserable & don't stay with a selfish & uncaring spouse
That wasn't his advice at all? He was using a car purchase as a metaphor. If you buy a car and don't like it, you can sell it and buy a new one. If you move and don't like it, you can move back.
I had a somewhat similar but difference experience in that we moved from NYC to Michigan about 5 years ago. I'm from Queens and I never lived anywhere outside of New York so I was definitely scared of starting over. My role at the time was video production in the entertainment/music industry. My wife saw how miserable I had become and suggested moving to the Midwest. I thought she was nuts, but I changed my tune within a year. So in MI, I joined a small tech startup and within a few years we reached unicorn status and got acquired by a Fortune 500 company. Living in a smaller city has given me better insight on how to balance being productive, creative and financially secure especially with a family. I still have my dreams and personal interests as a filmmaker but being able to also apply those skillsets to tech was more fulfilling and financially stable. We definitely still miss NYC but there's plenty of cities that offer great opportunities. I don't think I would have figured it out if we didn't take the leap to leave NYC.
I recommend renting wherever you relocate to. That will make the transition much smoother and less stressful if you decide to move back. It allows you to decide if you really like the area before you commit to a house. "Try it before you buy it" so to speak. It's hard to sell one house and then buy another at the same time and then make the move. It's difficult to do this long distance because you cant see the house in person. The biggest factor is that if you stay in a house for only two or three years you will lose money in closing costs when you buy and sell because you haven't allowed enough time to build equity to cover those transaction fees. Buying a house is sometimes like jail: it's easy to get in, hard to get out. Make it easy on yourself and rent instead. Your basically stuck for about 5 years when buying, but if you make $130k a year you might be willing to take a temporary loss. Just be smart when you buy and get a house that is less than you can afford. I hope this helps.
Let me share my short story. I have lived in California my whole life and have traveled to other states every so often and loved visiting and always wanted to get out. Life happened and got knee surgery and just waited. Maybe it was my own familiarity I was comfortable with or just didn't work but I was here and hated it for another 2 to 3 years. Today, I'm married to the woman of my dreams that I would have only met here, and end of this year when she finishes school we are moving and we both feel it's right. I always had a plan to move but sometimes things have to fall into place before you are to leave.
I am just not sure John has the vibe. He got to speak twice before Dave jumped in to finish the call and he talked about leaving Texas (info not delivered in a value-add manner) and asked questions that the caller had already answered. The way he plays with the pen in every video makes me think he's nervous. They should have him practicing on old calls- play the audio, mute Dave's response, have John respond, then have him listen to Dave's response. Saying that the children don't get a vote was good advice.
I agree...I feel as if he doesn’t have enough life experience to answer some of these types of question. Perhaps he needs a bit more wisdom and maturity.
Good advice! And it's not permanent. A friend of mine moved down south from the northeast a few years ago, lived there about two years, the family decided it wasn't for them and they missed their previous life, so they moved back. He even got a job at the same company.
Leave... I left my hometown and it has been the best experience I have had... I have met great ppl with different mindsets... 4 years later I am moving back to the hometown due to a great employment opportunity. However I am not feeling the joy of moving back to my hometown.
My wife envisions a life where we live away from everything, with no urban amenities or internet, just a radio and a farm, living off the land, being constantly barefoot and pregnant raising 10 kids that are home schooled and run around in the woods for fun. On a separate note, this is probably the first time I've ever agreed with John's advice. He's is 100% right. The parents make the home and the family. The balanced happiness of mom and dad, to a certain extent, has to come first because they are the foundation of everything.
Move to the woods buddy. Then your wife will envision you earning six figures in woods. Never base decisions on a woman's intellect and emotions. It has rarely succeeded in human history of some thousand or million years.
I so feel this caller. My husband and I went through the exact same thing a few years ago and we decided to go for it! We loved our new warm location, but the kids weren’t feeling it and the finances just wouldn’t work there. We had to come back to the hometown, but made big changes and are excitedly working toward financial independence so we can go back when the kids have graduated! It’s really hard to wait when we found that place that feels like home to us, but are at peace knowing we’ve made the responsible decision for all of our futures.
I really needed to hear what John said about the kids feelings about moving, im currently moving and my kids are going to new schools and I feel so bad because my 12 year old is sad about leaving her friends
Been trying to get away from PA for 19 years! Yes theirs family but I'm not close to anyone that much. Yes winter's here can brutal depending on location.
I wanted to relocate when I was in my 20 and never have a gut to do so. Now I am 50, kids are grown up and I still don’t have the guts to proceed my dream 😂
QUEEN CREEK, ARIZONA. Set your destination for it. Gilbert, Mesa, Queen Creek practically perfect, just a few hot months is all. Snow a couple hours away (snowboarding) lakes nearby, mountains for hiking. Huge city Phoenix nearby.
Pennsylvania only gets 2 months of nice weather? Yeah that’s major BS because I live in upstate New York and we get 4-5 months of beautiful weather. This guy is just burnt out. Moving to another environment isn’t going to change anything inside of himself.
Life is an adventure. Heck, I was job wise forced to move. Best thing I ever did. In fact, I moved again. Adventures are great. Permanence of family attachments, love of those close and integrity are all you need. Good stuff Dave et al
@Picachuu 3 Yes and no. One of my dreams is to speak fluent spanish. I am very close and this will allow me to finish my goal, while still being close to my family in LA. Also, I'll be able to save almost $700 extra per month.
My 8th grade year my parents moved the family from Massachusetts to Florida and we lived there for almost 3 yrs before we moved back. During that time I complained how much I missed home and my friends. Once we moved back it was all fun and joyous to finish off high school...... 15 years later.... I wish we never moved back. Make the move with your children's future in mind. More opportunity than a small town life.
My advice to this caller would be to get a job at an airport and in doing that he and his family would have a way to commute back and forth for next to nothing every holiday or birthday and a part time job that gives benefits as well
The most logical caller to ever be on the show. Period.
Amen!! I wish all calls were like this!! Concise! To the point. No unnecessary FLUFF
His made Dave really think. not easy for him.
@@AIrn6087 im thinking it wouldn’t be the show it is now
I’m an idiot and even I laugh at the callers so in other words not as many people would tune in
I wish everyone knew how to stick to the point like this guy
This caller is sharp and knows what he wants. Appreciate his sentiment.
Actually he don't. That's why he called
@@a-youngrocky8541 That's what I was thinking hah.
He was easy to listen to. Didn't interrupt and actually seemed open to advice, as opposed to hoping for a particular answer. Refreshing to hear.
This caller was so well spoken, intelligent and a great listener good on him hope he's well
VERY different from the usual riff raff who calls Dave, lol. Caller has a great voice.
When dude said he wanted to leave his home city for his entire life! I got a bit emotional. Just go bro! Don’t regret
I have felt exactly like this guy forever.
have faith and go and do it
Up and move man. Its fun. You can always go back.
Same
I made that move. Have never looked back or regretted. Great weather successful career. Don’t live with regret.
FEEEELLLLZZZZZZZ
Somehow at first I thought I saw “I want to leave my wife but” lol
Same. I’ve read “I want to leave my wife but she doesn’t want.”
Me too
Same! HA! I thought, "Oooo, this is going to be good!"
finding.liberty same 😂😂
Crazy how the eyes the same thing at first glance 😁
The title made me think this wasn't about relocating...
Yeah they tricked me as well
The Obsolete Geek Not by accident
I was thinking divorce initially
It's all about perspective and where your mindset is at the current time you read it; because I received it just the way it was meant to be.
It should say “move”, they did this on purpose.
I agree with Dave, doesn't have to be a permanent decision, they should try it.
Think before you leap.
You have a good job and income for what sounds like a low cost semi rural area.
You will need a 50 % or more increase in wages to have anywhere near the life you have now...maybe more with housing costs to live near a big city e as precisely if you plan on going to sporting events. Restaurants, etc.
Will you get a job like that...who knows.. send out resumes and see.
You have a wife and children all that costs more in a big city area plus c trips back home.
Life stopped being about only you over a dozen years ago. Most people are unhappy in their job...but the grass is slwsys greener.
Yes most members live lives of quiet desperation. Never having played the song in their heart...but at least the kids have food in their bellies and clothes on their backs and a roof over their head and a wife who knows the sacrifices you make/made. And that us priceless. Uour wife literally risked her life to bring forth your children...childbirth is still a potentially lethal process. Not as much as in the past but still no walk in the park.
LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP.
PEACE
@@voiceinthewildernesscrying8426 listening to this caller, he HAS been thinking it out... for years! He clearly has put a great deal of thought into a tough decision and clearly has taken his family's concerns into consideration. Though your advice is wise for someone who is impetuous, this caller had already figured this out; it's the impetus for his call.
Go go go!!! If you have this feeling, go with it! I had this feeling 6 years ago and went with it. Relocated to Japan and lived there for 4 years and started a RUclips channel. After missing family, I came back home. I loved living overseas and in a completely different country and came back with more appreciation for my home too. Now if I ever feel like leaving again, I will because I’ll know I can come back :) home is home 🏡
I decided. If they’re successful in banning guns for real. Here in the U.S. Japan would be awesome option.
Man you stay living in the comments section for this channel.
I felt the same way earlier in my life and moving was the scariest and best decision ever!
I’m from Monterrey Mexico, when I was 12 my parents told me we were going to the Beach in Texas. 4 months later they registered me in school “Just to learn English” Well, I’m still here married with 2 kids (16yr old twins) and until this video I just realized they never told me the truth 🤦🏻♀️. Now I appreciate my parents for what they did, I don’t think I would had agreed or be happy if they said we were moving.
This made me laugh. Good story
@Anna annanymous I can vote if that helps to answer your question. 😊
@Anna annanymous what a rude question. Glad You were proven wrong.
This caller is awesome! He has a sense of awareness of not wanting to drag on the call and keep things easy for them.
No matter where you go, there you are
My wife and I bought our home in 2005 in 2016 we paid it off and jumped to baby step 7. Thank you Dave for your help.
I originally read the title of this video as “I want to leave my wife, but she doesn’t want me to”.
They probably worded it that way on purpose for clickbait ha
Thats what I thought.
exactly how i read it too!
Me too
😆😆
Hope he gets his wife onboard. He's wanted this his whole life and I don't blame him for wanting more
MinerMovie, There is a time for everything but now is not the time. I have moved 23 years ago but that is after I can run a successful business anywhere in the world, money in my bank and not have to depend on jobs or fund from the banks. A pipe dream and reality , is 2 different thing. I did when I was 40years old , prior to that work, work ,work and save.
@@Anthony-qx1ps and if his wife can get work too, its not just him who needs to find work here
I love this idea... why does every decision needed to be so permanent and final. It’s ok to try and then try again.
You never know unless you try, I relocated cross country 29 years ago to California, it was scary but exciting. I’ve been very successful and now I’m moving back to Pennsylvania to be near to family- but I know if I hadn’t tried I would have always wondered. If had tried and failed, at least I could tell myself I tried.
DK, With a job that pays that much, in a rural area, this is a different ball game. Why not take the next 3 years and save as much as you can, like $100k than relocate , say to Texas,florida, Louisiana ,Atlanta and buy a house cash, when the real estate tank in 2023 ( bottomed).
A few years ago I went out to California for a few weeks to visit friends. Fell in love with the place, decided I wanted to relocate out there. The more research I did, the more discouraged I got. I finally decided that the cost of living and the available jobs, or lack thereof, just made it too unattractive.
I had a hard time justifying leaving all my family and a secure, relatively well paying job, to most likely get a job that made paid much less, in an area with a much higher cost of living.
Other way around for me. CA is so expensive but the weather, social services and diversity/lesser problem w racism is worth it for me. Lived in AZ, cheaper but My God, racism is so blatant. sometimes you have to pay more for better quality of life. since CA has better social services -- more jobs for paramedical and social work. It may not be a problem for some but I feel safer in CA being a minority. fewer Karens and my nephew needs to worry lesser abt bullying -- very diverse school system. That's worth paying more for me.
I live in Pennsylvania. I’m with him about leaving, but not for the same reasons. Tennessee is likely where we will be going in 2 years when my husband retires.
I moved from CT to TN 11 years ago and never looked back. TN has a lower cost of living and higher standard of living. The Northeast will tax you to death.
Husband and I left Massachusetts 23 years ago for 8 acres in rural central Tennessee. It was the best decision of our life. He is now retired, our home is paid off and we have a paid in full vacation property in a rural area of central Florida.
when i was 15 my father transferred from pittsburgh, pa to seattle, wa. i was open minded about it, and it totally changed my life! i had a MUCH better social life in high school, and live in the pacific northwest to this day. haven't set foot in PA since. not once, and i'm 58.
I had the opposite experience, I loved where I lived but wanted better career opportunities. I can't believe I waited so long to move relocate. Happily ever after 😁
I agree. I live in Miami, Florida and everyone wants to move here. But career wise there's nothing for me here (too competitive). I need to try a different state.
My husband and I moved from our home town in New Mexico to Texas, all for the same reasons as this guy. NM is a very rural and poor state with few opportunities for anything. I was miserable and home sick for two years. I stuck it out and now I would never go back. It's been 18 years. It was the best move we could have made.
CL, He and his spouse makes $130k a year, different from your situation!!
Me and my husband live in Santa Fe, NM. It’s a great place to retire and that’s about it! We are looking to move to another state with our two little ones soon. We lived in Colorado, but came back to NM for family. Bad decision! We’ve been miserable ever since.
I feel the same way as this guy. I’ve been living in Miami, Florida since 1989. I need a fresh start as I have never had an easy time making true friends here.
I thought about moving to Miami. Is it that bad to get some friends over there?
leonel perez I don’t know if it’s me or not. I have a great wife and great parents. But, I have a hard time bonding with other males here.
I moved from NY to Miami 3 different times the 4 th Time was the charm. Never Gave up on my dream I love it here. No family and just co-workers my friends circle it's very small. And that's the way I like it. (you need a good job)
haha i feel exactly like that guy but quite the opposite. I want to move to a rural area and leave the big city!
CRON BTC me too!
Do it you guys! I'm originally from Chicago, moved to a college town in Wisconsin, went to New York city for a bit...decided I want a rural life went to Wisconsin, Arizona now Michigan....most amazing experience and so inexpensive to live!
@@missy3505 , With 4 young children?
@@judymckee5992 As far as I know they allow young children!
Same
I agree with everything they said except when it comes to the kids. Moving your kids at critical ages like middle school does have a major affect on them, like not saying it should make the decision for you but the idea that it doesn't factor into the decision is absurd. Packing your kids up and moving them away from their family and from all their friends has a major impact on them.
Jesse Norwalt we had to make two huge moves during our kids Middle and high school years. They were resentful at first, but they all ended up agreeing that it was the best decision in the long run. Now as adults they feel like they can make a life anywhere. The funny thing is, none of them want to go back to where they have lived.
Moving every 3-5 years tears friendships just when they've become close. Do it sooner or don't.
My husband and I and our two kids kids left everything we knew in California and moved to the south five years ago. Don’t regret it for a second!
I lived in the same town for the first 20 years of my life. Moved to north Dakota to work in the oilfield. Best decision I've ever made.
We relocated from NYC to Miami a few months ago as it has always been a dream of mine. My fiance wasn't completely sold on the move so the compromise was that we'd keep our NYC apartment and rent it out until we were both fully content with where we reside.
That's sound like the best idea I ever heard!!!
I’m also thinking of moving out of state from Queens. We own a two family house so my husband wants us to rent it out and move so we can test the waters. My husband is applying for remote jobs. I’m a teacher so I can teach anywhere. He makes way more than me so we can always try it out for a year and if we like wherever we go, I can then apply for a teachers license and get a job and stay permanently. Let’s see what happens because Corona has thrown a wrench in our economy.
update?
@@JudePi-jx7yo still here and finally under contract to sell the NYC apartment, closing next month (fingers crossed). Best decision we ever made for ourselves..
I had roots in my hometown but I left and Im so glad I did! Living in your hometown forever messes with your head
Well-spoken caller, with wise and helpful advice given! This was a great call and I hope all goes well for this family.
Amazing advice as always guys! Caller, go for it!
“You can move any time you want, you’re not a tree!”
I moved from NYC to OC and it’s the happiest I’ve ever been. Location and weather makes a huge difference in your health.
Could he keep his house and rent it out as a safety net in case the move fails? If so then move
Out of area landlord is a nightmare waiting to unfold.
I hold my breath for a second when someone brings up a non-financial question, wondering how Dave and guest will answer. ALWAYS, there is appropriate wisdom offered! Thanks, guys, for sharing your gifted thinking skills; great advice!
Been there done that! It does always look greener on the other side, warmer weather but if you can't find a job and you're making half the pay it's not worth it
"Everything is a 20 minute drive" that's pretty close man.
Well, not if you want to go to a bar without having to get a driver. My friend lives within walking distance to several and it's extremely nice to not have to worry about that.
Tired of the cold really
No, 20 min to the grocery store? Noooo, I hate that.
I live in Phoenix AZ and get upset if there isn’t a grocery store within like 5 to 7 minutes. I literally have several options, Walmart, Target, Sprouts, Frys, Safeway, and Winco, all within 10 minutes. Safeway is 2 minutes from me, Winco and Target are about 4, frys is about 10 and Walmart is like 6. A 20 minute drive to a grocery store is so not like able or appealing.
I agree
I read "I want to divorce but my wife doesn't want to" ...🤦🏻♀️
Please caller, don’t do anything rash! Put your resume out there to the locations you want to move to and see if *any* employer responds! You’re making great money, and I wouldn’t do anything crazy until this pandemic is over. Even before this virus my husband and I had a hard time finding work, and we both work in high demand fields! Take vacations as much as you can instead. Go on 3 day weekends with your wife and leave the kids home. Bring the kids on your longer vacations, but please, don’t do anything abruptly without seeing first if you can even get a job somewhere else!
I really like this idea.
Thank you for interjecting common sense.
I’m only at 1 minute into the video and I totally with him. I live in upstate NY and it is cold here!!!!!
It's so *refreshing* to hear a clear and CONCISE question being asked. Not a 5 minute roundabout question that leaves you wondering what they're even asking.
Like what you said starting at 3:45. Sometimes it does feel like you are obligated to have something forever when in reality you can always just sell it or move on. That really applies to alot of things in life
YIKES! Make sure you are with the right person. Unhappy life can be a very very long life.
Hope he has a job lined up before he moves.
Move to The back woods of Tennessee with dave And make moonshine and yell at everyone with debt.
Sounds like the dream
😂
I’m ready! Lol!
Anthony Kence hilarious 😭😭😭
Yee haw
Pennsylvania is fairly middle of the road in terms of weather. If he considers that brutal, he needs to go north for a winter for perspective.
WT Keeton I was thinking the same thing. I’m in New Hampshire and I’d move there.
I moved from Wisconsin to PA 3 years ago and it is so such warmer in the winter. I barely notice it and added bonus my kids can actually play in the snow because its not -25 for many months
I’ll say near Pittsburgh we get like 60 sunny days a year. The rest is either rain, overcast, or snow. The weather here sucks.
He might live near Erie, Pa. Lake Effect Snow.
@@azoharadonis9452 Ya live near Pittsburgh too....the best advice I give myself each year, is if its nasty year round, use the horrible weather to my advantage. So I bike year round, and want to try cross country skiing and snowshoeing during the snowy season. Trying to figure out what I can do during the rain still. LOL. Wanted to move to NC, but hubby said no. 🙁
Stay!!! You have four young kids, you need your family nearby! Wait until you have an empty nest, just my advice. Living in a big city is VERY expensive and having four kids with zero yard will be tough, just my opinion,. We always THINK we want what we do not have.
If he moves to the South the cost of living is much cheaper and he gets more house for his money.
I agree. When you are making a move, you have to take everyone situation in consideration. Money doesn't always solve all your problems.
His oldest kid is nearly old enough to babysit their siblings, they don’t really need their extended family close by. If the family wants to see the kids, they’re just a short plane ride away and likely visit whenever they want.
Wow you’re projecting...I’d recommend speaking with a therapist about some unresolved issues. The parents can easily find a babysitter in their new city. I grew up thousands of miles away from any extended family and it was fine. All I’m saying is you don’t need to stay close to extended family. They can come visit if they want to, in the new city. Find a sitter in your new church. It’s honestly not a big deal to live far away from family.
I think the caller said he wants to live just outside a big city. So he can definitely have a huge backyard in the suburbs of a city/metro area. I didn’t think he said he literally wants to live IN the city.
My husband and I went through. Considered leaving southeast Florida for years. Finally took the leap and we love where we love. Great for our kids. We do miss being near our family but they visit us, we visit them. Losing our family was the hardest part but we have no regrets.
I want to leave So California but my husband doesn’t want to.
I want to leave here too!
I want to leave So Cal also....
Cannot blame you for wanting to leave such an expensive, and liberal state!!!
I feel the same about Chicago
I left and it was the best decision!
Why on Earth is he calling a financial advisor for this??
This
There was no other number to call.
@A G then ask about the finances
Right. I was born and raised in LA, my whole family is here. Good job opportunities. love the weather, but the traffic is awful and where I'm at it's almost impossible to get a decent house under a million dollars. So I've had one foot in one foot out for a while thinking about uprooting
I'm moving next year out of country because of that exact reason. If I don't like it, I can always come back (not necessarily to the same area since I currently don't have roots where I'm living at the moment) but back to America at least. If I can recommend something, if you get a job in that new area, have a secure home you can move into and some money to make the move, do it. Because if you don't move, for the rest of your life you'll be thinking what if I had moved. Would my life be better?
This is the most logical call ever this guy has his head on straight.
Currently in a similar situation, we currently have decent jobs but even with that we cant afford a home in our area, i want to move but the wife refuses and wants to get into a 4k mortgage when thats more than 60% percent of our take home
This caller's situation waa mine. Twenty-five years ago my husband & I bought a small farm in a rural area. A few months after we moved there, I realized I didn't like it there at all . I have fought & pleaded with him for the past twenty years that I wanted to move but he liked it there so we stayed. Filing for separation now bc he never cared that I was miserable. Lesson here is don't stay where you are if you miserable & don't stay with a selfish & uncaring spouse
like you.....
@@whyme7996 -I'm sorry if you've had to endure a selfish spouse-like my ex
I want to "leave." I thought he wanted a divorce. Not "move."
Wisdom....
It’s more precious than rubies, if you have the feeling to move, go.
And a pearl is only created by the irritating grain of sand in the clam
Household income: 130k
Dave: Sell the car.
That wasn't his advice at all? He was using a car purchase as a metaphor. If you buy a car and don't like it, you can sell it and buy a new one. If you move and don't like it, you can move back.
Dave never said that. Stop with fake news. CNN has enough.
I grew up in Allentown
Wanted to do one thing when I grew up
Leave!
Which I did
Many great years in Houston, Atlanta, and now sunny Florida!
Bad listener for a therapist!!! He obviously just told you he wan to leave the area!!!!
I had a somewhat similar but difference experience in that we moved from NYC to Michigan about 5 years ago. I'm from Queens and I never lived anywhere outside of New York so I was definitely scared of starting over. My role at the time was video production in the entertainment/music industry. My wife saw how miserable I had become and suggested moving to the Midwest. I thought she was nuts, but I changed my tune within a year. So in MI, I joined a small tech startup and within a few years we reached unicorn status and got acquired by a Fortune 500 company. Living in a smaller city has given me better insight on how to balance being productive, creative and financially secure especially with a family. I still have my dreams and personal interests as a filmmaker but being able to also apply those skillsets to tech was more fulfilling and financially stable. We definitely still miss NYC but there's plenty of cities that offer great opportunities. I don't think I would have figured it out if we didn't take the leap to leave NYC.
I just got through baby step two today. Been ten years in the work. Thanks be to God.
I recommend renting wherever you relocate to. That will make the transition much smoother and less stressful if you decide to move back. It allows you to decide if you really like the area before you commit to a house. "Try it before you buy it" so to speak. It's hard to sell one house and then buy another at the same time and then make the move. It's difficult to do this long distance because you cant see the house in person. The biggest factor is that if you stay in a house for only two or three years you will lose money in closing costs when you buy and sell because you haven't allowed enough time to build equity to cover those transaction fees. Buying a house is sometimes like jail: it's easy to get in, hard to get out. Make it easy on yourself and rent instead. Your basically stuck for about 5 years when buying, but if you make $130k a year you might be willing to take a temporary loss. Just be smart when you buy and get a house that is less than you can afford. I hope this helps.
Let me share my short story. I have lived in California my whole life and have traveled to other states every so often and loved visiting and always wanted to get out. Life happened and got knee surgery and just waited. Maybe it was my own familiarity I was comfortable with or just didn't work but I was here and hated it for another 2 to 3 years. Today, I'm married to the woman of my dreams that I would have only met here, and end of this year when she finishes school we are moving and we both feel it's right. I always had a plan to move but sometimes things have to fall into place before you are to leave.
I am just not sure John has the vibe. He got to speak twice before Dave jumped in to finish the call and he talked about leaving Texas (info not delivered in a value-add manner) and asked questions that the caller had already answered. The way he plays with the pen in every video makes me think he's nervous. They should have him practicing on old calls- play the audio, mute Dave's response, have John respond, then have him listen to Dave's response. Saying that the children don't get a vote was good advice.
There is clearly a difference in experience. I bet you John would be so much different 20 years from now.
I agree...I feel as if he doesn’t have enough life experience to answer some of these types of question. Perhaps he needs a bit more wisdom and maturity.
Good advice! And it's not permanent. A friend of mine moved down south from the northeast a few years ago, lived there about two years, the family decided it wasn't for them and they missed their previous life, so they moved back. He even got a job at the same company.
Would like a follow up call with this caller 🔥
This is how you call into a radio show
Leave... I left my hometown and it has been the best experience I have had... I have met great ppl with different mindsets... 4 years later I am moving back to the hometown due to a great employment opportunity. However I am not feeling the joy of moving back to my hometown.
Whereever you go YOU are still there.
My wife envisions a life where we live away from everything, with no urban amenities or internet, just a radio and a farm, living off the land, being constantly barefoot and pregnant raising 10 kids that are home schooled and run around in the woods for fun.
On a separate note, this is probably the first time I've ever agreed with John's advice. He's is 100% right. The parents make the home and the family. The balanced happiness of mom and dad, to a certain extent, has to come first because they are the foundation of everything.
Move to the woods buddy. Then your wife will envision you earning six figures in woods. Never base decisions on a woman's intellect and emotions. It has rarely succeeded in human history of some thousand or million years.
@@DsDs-nu7nw 😂😂 Ouch
My husband needs a wife like yours im too wall street 😫
Great observation Doc on family members feeling of moving. Cant make decisions based on kids feelings. Its what best for family.
Excellent advice
I so feel this caller. My husband and I went through the exact same thing a few years ago and we decided to go for it! We loved our new warm location, but the kids weren’t feeling it and the finances just wouldn’t work there. We had to come back to the hometown, but made big changes and are excitedly working toward financial independence so we can go back when the kids have graduated! It’s really hard to wait when we found that place that feels like home to us, but are at peace knowing we’ve made the responsible decision for all of our futures.
Both decisions so brave. Sounds like a good marriage.
I really needed to hear what John said about the kids feelings about moving, im currently moving and my kids are going to new schools and I feel so bad because my 12 year old is sad about leaving her friends
UNPOPULAR OPINION: I can’t stand John. Loved listening to Dave when it was just him on here. John should have his own show instead.
It’s actually a popular opinion, if you read through the comment section.
I agree 100%!
I completely agree with you! Dave doesn't need any help at all with his show!
I actually like what he adds to the show
They do this every time a new guy joins the crew.
Very good advice
Go for it! If you never do it you’ll never know how it will be, living with regret isn’t living 👍 good luck whatever you end up deciding
I wonder where this guy lives now. 2 months of good weather? That’s rough. Is he in Alaska?
Been trying to get away from PA for 19 years!
Yes theirs family but I'm not close to anyone that much.
Yes winter's here can brutal depending on location.
Um, get away from the city. With what's coming don't.
I wanted to relocate when I was in my 20 and never have a gut to do so. Now I am 50, kids are grown up and I still don’t have the guts to proceed my dream 😂
Make it happen!
This resonates so well with me. Great advice Dave
I wonder if there’s an update on this caller . I hope he did !
Pennsylvania is cold? Pretty sure there are about 20 colder states.
Pennsylvania is the tropics compared to Minnesota.
Dave out of nowhere “what do you do, how much do you make”
I'm from europe what did the other host mean when he says he dreamt of running water year around? does texas not have that
I laughed at that too. I’ve been to Dallas and I’m sure they had trees and running water. 😂
He just mean parts of it dry out so streaks etc go away. Not quite sure.
Not the west side and plains of texas ....10-20 inches of rain a year
Make the move.
You only live once.
Can't wait to move out of California
Love your advice, Dave! It's not permanent. Just a three year adventure! 🙏
QUEEN CREEK, ARIZONA. Set your destination for it. Gilbert, Mesa, Queen Creek practically perfect, just a few hot months is all. Snow a couple hours away (snowboarding) lakes nearby, mountains for hiking. Huge city Phoenix nearby.
Great response Dave.... !
Thank you! You just helped me make my decision. I'm doing it.
Pennsylvania only gets 2 months of nice weather? Yeah that’s major BS because I live in upstate New York and we get 4-5 months of beautiful weather. This guy is just burnt out. Moving to another environment isn’t going to change anything inside of himself.
Life is an adventure. Heck, I was job wise forced to move. Best thing I ever did. In fact, I moved again. Adventures are great. Permanence of family attachments, love of those close and integrity are all you need. Good stuff Dave et al
I say go! It’s great to move. I moved from Chicagoland to LA and loved it. Now I’m planning to live to Tijuana, Mexico
@Picachuu 3 Yes and no. One of my dreams is to speak fluent spanish. I am very close and this will allow me to finish my goal, while still being close to my family in LA. Also, I'll be able to save almost $700 extra per month.
My 8th grade year my parents moved the family from Massachusetts to Florida and we lived there for almost 3 yrs before we moved back. During that time I complained how much I missed home and my friends. Once we moved back it was all fun and joyous to finish off high school...... 15 years later.... I wish we never moved back. Make the move with your children's future in mind. More opportunity than a small town life.
I lived in PA for 2.5 years hated every day of it. Moved to Houston TX. Their are no job opportunities in PA it’s very cold and gloomy
My advice to this caller would be to get a job at an airport and in doing that he and his family would have a way to commute back and forth for next to nothing every holiday or birthday and a part time job that gives benefits as well
Lol what? Ridiculous and random advice.
@@nunyabidnes6010 LOL!!!!
Come to Sacramento we have major sports,brewerys and we are 2 hrs away from either oceans,mountains, deserts and snow
I live in Maryland, and it's similar to Pennsylvania. I'm actually going to move up there within a few years