AITA for refusing to change the date of my daughter’s birthday party to accommodate a friend?
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
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AITA for refusing to change the date of my daughter’s birthday party to accommodate a friend?
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Mia didn’t put in the effort to keep in contact. It’s your daughter’s birthday you don’t need to accommodate her.
NTA. The "friend" first asked how big OP's party was going to be before deciding she was going to the other one because it was bigger. That is not a proximity issue.
Agree
Your shirt change at the beginning threw me off!😂
NTA! Maintaining a friendship takes effort, an effort that Mia(?) appears to not want to take. You've tried, she hasn't. Cultivate those closer to you.
True. Agree.
Maybe I interpreted differently but it comes off as OP was tired of being the one that makes effort. I’ve known people like her friend & she is not a friend, she’s a friend of convenience. Wouldn’t be surprised if she asked that friend why you are friends, she would name superficial stuff that all benefited her; your easy to talk to and always there for me are my favorite 😂😂
Nta: she's changed plans last minute, ignored you while out of the country, do not change the party for her.
Sometimes friends grow apart. Especially after having kids. NTA, but it's probably time to become acquaintances more than friends.
Life always happens and you lose friendships. It happens. If you don't make the time to make it work, like any relationship, it sores and ends.
AITA? NAH. 😂
Longer distance friendships take more effort to maintain. She has found local friends who she can hang out with, there is nothing wrong with that. If ur mothers group isn’t active enough then maybe find another one that is and stop relying solely on that one friend. No one is the AH.
It sounds like OP’s friend has become a different person than she used to be and it’s probably time to accept that and move on.
All Mila had to say was can I come see your child next weekend.
Nope! Nope! Nope! Her friend found new bougie friends and now doesn’t want OP around. How this is ESH is ridiculous. If you have friends for a long time, you should come first. This is absolutely dumb.
I agree with you!
Thank you!
@@unforgivinglyhappy9697 this!!!
NTA. Your friend kinda sucks
NTA but I have a slightly different perspective on this friendship than Dusty does. I've been in these kinds of relationships and Mila is not a friend. Not a real one. OP has been hanging on way too long when it's clear Mila isn't interested and OP is just a pity party afterthought when Mila's current friends aren't available. Mila is likely conflict averse and doesn't want to outright end things, but she's also clearly not interested. She was probably mirroring OP a lot when they lived close to each other, but now that OP's moved away, Mila doesn't feel like she needs to put any effort in and now OP has become an annoyance at best. Mila feels obligated but she's just not that into OP anymore. If one of them doesn't end the friendship, it's just going to lead to more unreasonable demands from Mila and more hurt feelings from OP. All OP really has to do is stop trying to contact Mila. Mila's not going to contact her, so it will finally die its natural death. It's a hair breadth away already.
this. Shes nothing more than a sometime friend. Only interested when her new shiny friends aren't available.
The bigger issue I think is OP experiencing some insecurity/jealousy about the friendship and feels as though she's unfairly slipped in Milas ranking of friends. It really stands out that OP has a suspicion that she might just be a placeholder for someone else that Mila would rather have there, but that dropped out.
I don't think its inherently a lack of effort in maintaining the friendship if she is genuinely busy; which I imagine a mother to a 9 month old would be. There's also nothing said about these two having possible differing circumstances. They certainly seem to have different levels of social obligations, but what are their work and home obligations like? How much support do they get from their partners with child care?
Nta OP move on you'll be fine she isn't a friend anymore hasn't been for a while.
💙❤️
NTA
For once, I completely agree with Dusty even though the entire comment section seems to disagree.
I'm willing to bet nearly all of you either aren't parents or haven't tried to hold on to a friendship with someone who is over an hour away. You drift apart. That's just life. Especially when you have a local parent group.
You see them more frequently, you can compare more local stories and get advice about places to take your child, etc.
I was really happy with where Dusty fell on this one, because it was exactly where I fall on it. I don't think anyone sucks here. I think that's just part of being an adult and being a parent.
my best friend has two kids and we live two hours apart. that doesn't mean our friendship ended/fizzled out. Mila is treating op as a placeholder for when her new friends cant make it to something. out of sight out of mind shouldn't apply to a friendship the way mila is acting like it does.
@@allyb3510
And that's great for you and your best friend. I'm not saying the relationships always drift apart when there's distance. But I hope you're not trying to imply that your relationship is the norm, because I think you know it's not.
Life just happens. People get busy. People lose touch. That doesn't make anyone "the asshole".
I moved out to the country, ALL of my friends are long distance. Yet, we all get together on the regular. Either i drive into the city, they drive out here, we meet to go do something, but yeah we have to work for it. And none of us would ask for another to change their plans, nope, we would work it out.
NTA Mia is not your friend anymore 🤷♀️
NTA. Mila is no longer interested in being friends. I would look into new friends who put in the effort